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Guest Powerplay

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Guest Powerplay

I'm still reading the show, but I'd like to make a general statement on JL:

 

I think that we should start getting in the habit of trying to comment on everyone's matchs. I know it is a bit of a problem in the SWF, but please try to comment. I for one enjoy knowing what I did good, and I like to know even more what i could improve. I know for a fact I get a feel of accomplishment when someone makes any sort of comment on my match, and I think many people do as well. This goes for the losing matches thread as well. So, hopefully, we'll see some good (and bad) comments on this thread, eh :D ?

 

Edit: Helpful Tip for Commenting- Edit them in one at a time and then take a small break in between. It takes a lot of time, but guys, it is really worth it.

 

Johnny vs. Ejiro vs. Jack, Johnny's match

 

Winner: First Elimination: Johnny by Steel Chair from Jack the Ripper

Second Elimination: Jack by submission to Ejiro's Cobra Crossface

 

I'm am naturally leery of job matches that give title shots, but you did a good job here. I thought the Ejiro cheap shot was done very well (Read: I laughed my ass off), and the commentary was great as usual. I was surprised that you were the first to be eliminated (I thought you would have Jack be eliminated then let Ejiro go over) but it was done well and credible. You had Ejiro do a decent job of concentrating on one part of the body, though I think you could have had him try to at least throw on another submission somewhere, since he is really geared toward submissions (Maybe a quick Fujiwara Armbar or something). I'll give you credit: You put Ejiro and Jack over very well. The second elimination seems a little rushed, but I probably am not the best man to tell you not to rush, eh :) ? I think you'll be MEing soon because you've written solidly and consistantly (As have many of the new undercarders, and I think you all deserve some noticing for that), which I think you'll find familiar ;).

 

Second Match: Logan vs. Christian Fury, GOdrea's match

 

Winner: [email protected]#$%^&* THE [email protected]#$%^&*

 

Well, Logan is temporarily out due to a play, but he will return. CF is in the Army, right? Naw, I know it's Air Force. So, a double no-show match, eh? Well, GOdrea wrote it, so you know it gots weird, wacky shit + the Giant Gonzales. (Y) at Three Stooges and Axis talking like Al Capone. Full Contact Yahtzee should be on ESPN 2 intead of the MLS Soccer that I occasionally see. It'd probably be more exciting. THUG? The legendary superbitch of myth? Wow. Well, she makes her appearance. (N) at the van taking the bullet. WHY, GOdrea, WHY?!

 

Third Match: Wildchild vs. Tim Dillon Pubcrawl Match for the Euro Title, Wildchild's Match

 

Winner: Tim Dillon due to Ejiro Fasaki interference

 

I mark hard for Wildchild's dialogue and I like Tim's as well. You grasp the characters pretty well. You also had one of the best reasons to have the fight start: "You spilled me beer." Great work. I like how WC was trying to stop the thing as well. For the most part, a good match. You keep WC a spot machine and Tim a brawler, and you are consistant with making WC go berserk at the sight of his own blood. Ejiro's involvement gets me, though. Have you and him got an angle cooked up already? If so, kudos to both of you. I suppose my biggest complaint is that the ending seemed very abrupt. It just sort of ended. Normally I try to get some after thoughts in from the commentators, but with this match it was obviously not possible. I suppose I'm just used to it by now.

 

Fourth Match: Matt Myers vs. Kamikaze for the #1 Contendership to the World Title.

 

Winner: Matt Myers with Green Mist/DMD combo

 

Not in yet, but presumably, Matt won because I think Kaze has quit or is going to quit. Sad, really. Good writer, but I suppose people move on. Good luck to you, man. I wish we could have gotten a little more out of our feud, but ce la vie.

 

Short, short, and (At least for me) a dissappointment. But he hand SOMETHING in, which is far better than nothing. Can't really say anything about it.

 

Fifth Match: Mike Van Siclen vs. Judge Mental Inferno Match for the World Title, Judge Mental's Match

 

Winner: Judge Mental with Cobra Clutch Suplex

 

I don't really rate my own work well. I did't feel all too good with the ending, and I think I probably overplayed the flames. But I tried, and hopefully you guys can give me some good comments.

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Well Judge is making a good request in my opinon. I also agree that coments on ones efforts feels good, just as well as making comments on the loosing matches that are posted as well.

 

Ejiro Fasaki vs Jack the Ripper vs Johnny Dangerous - Johnny's Match

 

First Elimination: Jack pins Johnny after a ruthless chair assualt, which goes un seen by the Referee?

Second Elimination: Jack submits to Ejiro's all powerful Cobra Crossface!

 

Well the opening match was mine. Rather short but still it got across the points i felt were needed. Jack has something against Johnny being so cool, and now Johnny is going to want Jacks head on a pike. Oh Ejiro gets his well deserved shot at Euro gold as well.

 

I have had several people ask me why i would job off a number one contenders match, but i figured it would be the best way to start off a feud. What better reason to extract revenge on someone when they cost you the shot at the title. It's all for the sake of a better storyline, and after draging along and doing nothing with my charater I decided a storyline was needed more than another win.

 

Christian Fury Vs Logan - GOdrea's Match

 

Fury and Logan. After Fury's great showing against me with his return, I was shocked that he didn't show. Possibly the military called him away for a few days.

Hilarious joke match from Andrea by the way, so at least something entertaining was read.

 

Wildchild Vs Tim Dillon - Wildchild's Match

A KOed Tim pins Wildchild after some interferance from Ejiro Fasaki!

 

Another job and a job well done. I love the beginning, where two men would rather drink than fight. The dialog is well paced and excellent fitting for the charaters involved. The action was well paced and keept me intrested from start to finish. Job well done IMHO

 

Matt Myers vs Kamikaze - Matt's match

 

Matt pins Kamikaze in a record 4.6 seconds!

 

Well not much to say here. I have definetly seen much better efforts from Myers, but i guess he knew Kaze was no showing. Hince why put all your best effort into a match your going to win by default anyways. It looks like Matt will get a second shot at Mental. As close as Matt came to beatin Judge last time, I think Judge would be crazy to wait and rush through his match the day of.

 

Judge Mental vs MVS- Judge's Match

 

Judge wins again after Cobra Suplexing MVS into the burning ropes!

 

Bad MVS no showing when you finally get a title shot. Espically after you rode Spike for the same thing. Judge puts on an excellent display this time out (As always.) One thing i always like about reading a Judge match is his opening banter between Axis and Suicide King (And Edwin when he was here too) your commentary always seems to be sharp and right on target, and enjoyable to read.

 

As for the match itself. I know you said you thought it was utter crap, but i must disagree. I thought it was very well written with plenty of wrestling. The only thing that semmed akward to me was the finish. Other than that another excellent job. Just keep shinning that belt up for me, because Danger is coming your way ;)

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Guest AnnieEclectic

Of course Edison invented the light bulb! He was 8' 2" and wore a "Devils" jersey, how can you not?

 

(Y)

 

-Annie

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Guest Suicide King

Terribly sorry, entirely my fault. Match is in. Will comment later when get back from work.

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Guest Goodear

I'm always finding my way around to comments eventually, so here we go, here, here we go.

 

Johnny vs. Jack vs. Ejiro

 

I was reading this and was like, "Oh well, its not my match. I guess I... won? Huh?" (Check out my match in the losing match thread...) Anyway, its kind of funny seeing how close Johnny's and my match are so similar with E&J double teaming Jack to start before Ejiro turns on Johnny. Anyway, I think Johnny writes good striking, but concentrates a little too much on it. Like, the first actual move in the match is Ejiro's Ejiocution (his finisher) on Jack. I still think Johnny is a bit too minimalist, but it seems to work for the markers, so who am I to disagree?

IF SCOTT KEITH RATED IT: **1/2

 

Logan vs. Christian Fury

 

At least they didn't get Bukake'd, although having WOW Wrester Thug jump in the ring was an inspired choice. The people demanded Riot though, or maybe Queen Kong.

ISKRI: Hot pokers up his ass... cause he likes them.

 

Bar Brawl

 

Wow, Ejiro had a good night, even if I didn't write any of it. I like how Wildchild was trying to get out of the brawl until he started dripping the juice as well as the Dillon anger over the spilled beer. Although I think you give Wildchild a little too much when he goes crazy, like he's almost too effective for being insane? It might also be a good idea to put the blood flurry on hold a little, since you don't want it to be the only aspect of WC's character.

ISKRI: **

 

 

Kaze vs. Matt

 

Wow, talk about quick.

ISKRI: DUD

 

JM vs. MVS

 

Good storytelling and psychology, the sleeper strategy was a good choice to impliment for the "chucking the guy in the fire" match. I'm a little "meh" about the midmatch conversations, but it did tell the story. I really think Judge needs an arch-nemesis now to really get underneath his skin, and hopefully someone steps up to the proverbial plate soon. The stoic Judge needs someone to push his buttons IMO.

ISKRI: ***

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Anyway, its kind of funny seeing how close Johnny's and my match are so similar with E&J double teaming Jack to start before Ejiro turns on Johnny. Anyway, I think Johnny writes good striking, but concentrates a little too much on it. Like, the first actual move in the match is Ejiro's Ejiocution (his finisher) on Jack.

I noticed that they were similar as well, quite psychic of us both. As for the striking, yeah i know :( That's how you can tell that i was in a hurry. I didn't realize that i gave you no moves until you hit your finishers. My bad, sorry dude. I'll write you as a more technical master next time. Which will be like what match #6 against you.

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Guest Goodear
I noticed that they were similar as well, quite psychic of us both. As for the striking, yeah i know :( That's how you can tell that i was in a hurry. I didn't realize that i gave you no moves until you hit your finishers. My bad, sorry dude. I'll write you as a more technical master next time. Which will be like what match #6 against you.

Uhmm, lets see...

 

I think it will be match 4 (Hardcore Match, Euro Royal, Threeway with WC, and Threeway with Jack). I think I've had the same amount of matches with Jack too, although I've had a bit more success against him than you. Don't worry about the number of moves though, in my Logan match I basically just had one move all match and other than that, bled all over the place :)

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Guest Christian_Fury

Well, as of this second, I can only comment on my end of things, as I haven't read the whole show yet... I haven't really even read GOdrea's lovely little foray with Logan and mine... Though I saw me in a wife-beater, then bleeding all over the place... And what the Hell was that about Tom Edison?

 

*Sigh*

 

Anyway, yes... The Air Force kinda blew my match-writing time away... Our dorm floor was on lockdown all weekend because some idiots don't know how to flush damn toilets after themselves, and also because they don't know how to clean up pubes after they masturbate... Or some shit like that. Sorry for the graphicness, folks...

 

Anyway, I should (barring any latrine desecration) be able to write for this upcoming show. Sorry I disappointed everyone pulling for me. I'll try not to let it happen again.

 

Yours sincerely, with mop bucket, bleach, and chemical warfare outfit...

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Guest TheBostonStrangler

It's OK, Fury. Stuff happens. Your marker explained your situation. I appreciate you giving what warning you could, and I do expect this a little, since the Air Force takes themselves kinda seriously. But do your best to get something in for this one.

 

As for the show, it was OK. Once again, no promos. C'mon people! Let's see a little character development here! Try and add something to your characters besides "Badass heel who beats up Ben" or "Happy face who likes the fans". The only one here with a truly developed character is Judge, and even he isn't doing all that much. I'd like to see more showing, but I'd REALLY like to see some promos.

 

As for the matches, I thought Judge did an excellent job with a hard stip. Ending wasn't the best, but there's no good way to end one of these matches that I can think of. Myers is apparently the next coming of Diesel, and Kamikaze is apparently the next coming of Backlund. The opener was nice, as Ejiro and Johnny both wrote EXCELLENT matches according to his holiness, Lord Z of Edmonton, with Johnny's match barely getting the win. GOdrea is a god amongst men, as she came up with a nice replacement to the Retiree vs. Air Force Bitch match. And Wildchild wrote a VERY nice match with a nice ending that really has some development going. I'd love to see a promo or two on this little feud, guys.

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Guest Christian_Fury
It's OK, Fury. Stuff happens. Your marker explained your situation. I appreciate you giving what warning you could, and I do expect this a little, since the Air Force takes themselves kinda seriously. But do your best to get something in for this one.

I will do my best... To do my duty... To God and my country... And to obey the Scout Law... Waitaminute... What is this shit? Alright! Who gave me the wrong damn cue cards???

 

*Shuffles around* Oh, here it is...

 

You'll have your match. That is all.

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Guest Christian_Fury
Heh. If you need anything Fury, I work at Wright Patt in the MCSS. ;)

How's about getting me stationed over there??? ;)

 

MCSS... That's where they do the pay computers, and mailing services, and all that stuff, right?

 

Can you tell I'm still new at this stuff? ;)

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Guest Suicide King

Patience young Skywalker. Friday is myday off, and I shall critique big time.

 

And Fury? No, it's Military Clothing Sales. I make sure all the generals ribbons are nice and neat. ;)

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Guest Christian_Fury
And Fury? No, it's Military Clothing Sales. I make sure all the generals ribbons are nice and neat. ;)

Then, in that case...

 

I need some TSgt stripes on my BDUs... Can you do that for me? ;)

 

Or a nice pair of Marauders. :D

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Guest Christian_Fury
You are cruising for a visit from the sodomy bus, Johnny. Beep beep! ;)

Hey! That's against Article 134 of the UCMJ... Fuckin' punishable by death!

 

:gas:

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