The Match Request Thread!

[Guest Insanityman]

For us non-IGN'ers I'm thinking a match request thread would be rather dandy. But it requires work and we all know work is the devil...

 

 

 

M'kay I'd LOVE to have the following matches:

 

Edwin vs Spider Nekura 2/3 Falls

 

Spark vs Edwin Flaming Tables

 

Snake Eyes Main Event

 

Thugg vs Zio LMS

[Secret Agent 0]

I tired to find the Edwin vs Spider match already to no avail. It has either been deleted or someone bumped it, knocking it out of place. I found the card for it. Just not the actual show.

 

I did however find King's first ever match in the JL!! Oh, and Sacred's first match as Beowolf in the ML too.

[Secret Agent 0]

Well here is one. The Snake Eyes ME.

 

__________________________

 

Following a backstage interview, the main-event gets underway with a scene from Stubby’s locker-room. The cameras slowly scan the room and eventually focus on the washroom door. Misty stands outside the door and yells at Stubby, who’s presumably on the other side…

 

“Hey! You can’t just hide from me in the there, you’ve got a match in five minutes and you’ve gotta’ come out sometime!”

 

“I’m not hiding,” retorts Stubby “I left my belt in here and I’m not goin’ down to the ring without it…”

 

“Yeah sure, then why’d you lock yerself in there?” yells Misty as the door suddenly swings open.

 

“Fine, I’m out. You may continue your screaming Mrs. Rivers…”

 

“Thanks, I will.” responds Misty “Ya’ know we’re supposed ta’ be a team Stubby and I for one have always there for the team. I constantly encourage you and deny it if you will, but if it wasn’t for me there’s no damn way you’d still have that belt! So I don’t know where you get this ‘I don’t want you at ringside’ sh*t, but whether you like it or not I’m g--”

 

“Okay wait a second,” interrupts Stubby “you really wanna’ be there with me? Fine, get yer stuff and make it fast, I don’t wanna’ be late for the match…”

 

Misty’s a bit startled when Stubby gives in so easily, but the shock soon wears off and she runs to get ready as the scene shifts to the commissioner’s office. A sullen looking Divefire sits behind his desk with an icepack on his head as he tries to recover from the injuries he sustained after getting involved in the Wilson/Outcast match. While Divefire tries to recuperate, Andrea sits on the other side of the desk natterering away, seemingly oblivious to the look of pain and boredom on her powerful friend’s face…

 

“…so I was in the cafeteria and everyone was like, good luck on Sunday Andrea! So of course I like thanked them, but once I left the room I could hear everyone goin’ on about how ‘that girl doesn’t have a chance’ and I like just wanted to go back in there and kick all their--”

 

“Um, don’t mean to cut ya’ off but is there a point to all this?” asks Divefire weakly.

 

“Yeah Fire, no-one’s takin’ me seriously!” replies Andrea “Not even my supposed friends, I mean Stubby was laughin’ like I’m some sorta’ joke when he gave me the shot!”

 

“Well…what am I supposed to do about it? Punish everyone who makes you feel bad?”

 

“Well no of course not!” shouts Andrea “You don’t havta’ do anything ‘cause I’m gonna’ prove them wrong myself! The Montgomery’s have gold in their blood ya’ know, me an’ my brother uh…wherever he is, have won more titles than anybody here. I mean we’re like the freakin’ um…Harts of the IGNWF so I’m gonna’ go out there by myself and win that belt for him just incase, ya’ know, he doesn’t come back or something…”

 

As Andrea trails off Divefire pulls himself out of his commissioner’s chair, drops the icepack on his desk then begins to speak…

 

“Well, we don’t have much time and I’m starting to feel a bit better, so I guess we should go…” declares Divefire as he walks around from behind his desk.

 

“What?! You can’t go with me, I’ve been tellin’ everyone I’ll be down there alone! I’ll look like an idiot if I come strolling down the ramp with the commissioner beside me!” hollers Andrea.

 

“Well ya’ know what Andrea?” responds Divefire “I don’t really care. I mean do you wanna’ be sitting in a hospital bed for a month because one of those psychos decides it’d be fun to beat up on a woman? Those 3 guys are some of the best, not to mention dirtiest players in this company and I won’t let them put you in a wheelchair just because you’ve got some stupid th--”

 

“You’d better stop yerself right there before you say something you’ll regret. ” snaps Andrea “I mean I thought you’d be the one person I could talk to, but obviously you respect me about as much as everyone else!”

 

“Now wait just a s--”

 

“Aw c’mon, I’m just some sorta’ little project to you aren’t I? Here Andrea, you’re the Light-heavyweight champion, come have dinner with me Andrea, now let’s go to my h--”

 

“Hey just stop it,” cuts in Divefire “I respect you and you know it! Hell, everyone here does…except maybe Stubby, but why in God’s name would you listen to him?! You wanna’ fight this one without me? That’s fine, but if you look like you’re in trouble I’m gonna’ be there. That’s the best deal you’re gonna’ get from me, so I suggest you take it…”

 

Andrea mulls it over for a few seconds, before looking up and nodding her head…

 

“Yeah…yeah, okay sounds good…”

 

“What th’ hell was that?” grumbles NTD as the cameras return to ringside “The ‘Days of our Lives’?!”

 

“Well…we’ve been losing a ton of female viewers ever since Outcast quit cutting his estrogen pumped promos,” replies Curry “ and we’ve gotta’ get those ratings back up somehow! Besides, if this was really the ‘Days of our Lives’ Andrea would be Divefire’s long lost cousin…”

 

“Actually that’d be a damn good angle. I once had this really hot cousin and whenever I went over to her h--” NTD’s mic is quickly cut off, ending a potentially embarrassing spiel.

 

“Uhhh…anyways folks, this bout was set up by the champion himself as he won the right to book his own Pay per View match when he survived a grueling 5 man battle royal on Storm. Now there’s some confusion regarding what this type of match should be called, but it seems it’s most commonly referred to as a ‘double jeopardy’ match and since this is the first bout of it’s type here in the IGNWF, I’ll try to explain the rules…” says Curry as he pulls a card out from underneath the announcer’s table…

 

“The match will start off as a no-DQ, anything goes battle with all four opponents in the ring as always. The 4 people will be divided into 2 pairs and while you’re allowed to attack anyone you want, only your designated opponent has the power to eliminate you via pinfall, submission of knockout. Once two people have been eliminated the remaining pair will wrestle for the title in a regular singles match. Basically it's a small 4-person tournament with the title on the line. So NTD, think you can give out the pairings?” invites Curry.

 

“Well, if you turn my mic back on I…oh, you already did.” gripes NTD “Okay, well Andrea will be taking on Bobby Riley and Stubby’ll fight Fallout. How was that?”

 

“Just fine, and ya’ know you’ve gotta’ admit those are some really interesting pairings, I mean just lo--” Curry’s cut off in mid-sentence as the lights dim and “Keep Away” by Godsmack begins to play.

 

A white pyro bursts from the stage then as the smoke from the explosion flows out over the audience a faint green glow lights the entryway and two dark figures emerge from behind the curtain. The green light intensifies, eventually revealing both Fallout and El Luchador Magnifico to be standing on the stage. The crowd boos loudly as Fallout makes his way down the ramp followed by a beaten, bandaged and limping Magnifico.

 

“What the hell’s Magnifico doing here?!” wonders a bewildered Curry “He’s just been through one of the most brutal tag-matches I’ve seen in my life, he’s in absolutely no condition to be accompanying Fallout to the ring!”

 

“Oh, and what would you prefer? That Fallout come down here alone?! He’s the leader of Prime Evil for Christ’s sake! As the dictator of the IGNWF’s evilest stable he has the right to force his supporters to do whatever he wants, no matter how unreasonable!” rants NTD.

 

“Well excuse me…”

 

Once Fallout reaches the base of the ramp, he moves around to the top/right corner, rolls under the bottom rope then moves into the center of the ring as a beat up Magnifico takes a seat on the ringsteps. Fallout stands in the center of the squared circle with his feet apart and eyes closed then as he slowly lifts his arms skyward a huge green explosion erupts from behind him, scaring the crap out of Magnifico as rests on the stairs. Fallout pulls a mic from his tights and begins to speak…

 

“If you people could just shut your mouths for a couple seconds, I’d like to say few words,” begins Fallout who can barely be heard over the roar from an angry audience “ah ta’ hell with it, could someone just turn up the volume on my mic? Okay that’s better, now you morons must be asking yourselves, what could that handsome Fallout possibly have to say to me? Well, I decided it would be fun to take a little stroll down memory lane, back to the days when we dominated the JL then perhaps a bit forward to when we all entered the IGNWF. People didn’t pay much attention to us then, but if they’d been listening they would have heard the original members say that they were gonna’ dominate this damn company. Well since then we’ve had a lot of members, claimed alota’ gold and pissed alota’ people off, but we still haven’t achieved our ultimate goal, to have a member reach that very highest peak in the company and claim the IGNWF heavyweight title…until now that is. Last Friday I managed to beat both Cyclone Comet and Neilson, the two men most people had pegged as future world champions, in fact I came within inches of beating Stubby himself. Well tonight, whether you bastards like it or not the champion’s devastation is at hand and when I beat him I’ll have finally brought this stable the glory it’s always deserved…” Fallout drops his mic, kicks it out of the ring then taunts audience as the arena is once again plunged into darkness…

 

As a pair of neon green spotlights scan the crowd, No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” starts to play and the Wild Cards logo appears on the IGNWF-tron, growing steadily larger as it whirls forward. After a few seconds Andrea Montgomery steps through the curtain by herself then pauses briefly as bright green sparks shower down from above. Andrea runs from one side of the stage to the other, pumping up the already exited crowd before making her way down the ramp, accepting high fives from her fans along the way. Andrea reaches the bottom of the ramp and while keeping a cautious eye on Fallout she leaps up onto the apron near the bottom/left corner then swings through the ropes. Andrea releases the ropes, lands a few feet from the corner then does a quick forward roll into the center of the ring as green sparks burst from the four turnbuckles. The lights return and Andrea keeps an eye on Fallout as she moves towards the top/left corner…

 

“Hmmm…ya know’ I’m usually not a big Montgomery fan, didn’t much care for her brother either, but with an ass like that Andrea just might turn me around…” blurts out NTD.

 

“What’d you just say?! You do know Divefire will make you write a formal apology once he hears you said that, don’t you? Those things’re a bitch to write, a thousand words, plus he checks them for grammar and sincerity…”

 

“Yeah well, I was trying to get a sorta’ Jerry Lawler vibe goin’ there.” explains NTD “I think I’ve got the sexist stuff down, all I need to do now is screw up the names of basic moves and toss out a pile of racial slurs. Too bad no-one in the IGNWF wears a turban…” once again the arena lights begin to dim…

 

As the announcers continue to talk amongst themselves White Zombie's "More Human Than Human" rips through the darkness and after a few seconds the lights begin to flash violently. Bobby Riley walks out onto the stage (without Rebecca), unnoticed at first in the havoc that the lights are creating. Finally the crowd recognizes Riley and begins to boo loudly as he makes his way down to the ring. Riley slides into the squared circle amidst the boos then yells something at Andrea, who rolls back out to the floor as she doesn’t want any trouble before the match starts. Riley removes his coat, drapes it over the bottom/left turnbuckle then glares at his opponents as he waits for the champion to arrive…

 

“Alright, now there’s the man who’s gonna’ walk outta’ here a champion,” announces NTD “cute ass or not, Andrea doesn’t stand a chance against Riley and neither does Stubby…”

 

“A Riley win’s definitely a possibility,” admits Curry “he beat McWeed on an episode of Storm about a month and a half ago in surprisingly decisive victory. McWeed’s been on a winning streak ever since, but he’s taken a heavy beating defending that belt and Riley may be able to pry it away from him tonight…”

 

The arena’s shrouded in blackness as the crowd waits in silent anticipation. Several seconds later a single point of light shoots up from the centre of the stage, cuts through the darkness then explodes with a thunderous crack, illuminating the audience and stage with an eerie green glow. The haunting green light reveals Stubby to be standing on the stage along with his wife then “Hash Pipe” by Weezer starts to play as series green spotlights whirl deliriously over the audience. As the crowd cheers Stubby makes his way towards the ring then stops once he reaches the bottom of the ramp. The lights return and Stubby pulls a mic out of his pocket then begins to speak as he strolls over towards the bottom/right corner…

 

“Well, a big hello to my opponents and to all the great IGNWF fans here in Las Vegas!” begins Stubby, grabbing the cheap pop as he always does “Now don’t worry folks, I’m not about to break into some long winded lecture tonight, no…I just wanna’ remind you people of a few important numbers. I mean Las Vegas is all about numbers and it just so happens that this is the 3rd Pay per View in a row I’ve main evented and that feels pretty damn good. Not only that, but since I won this belt I’ve had 4 people try to take it, all of whom failed of course and tonight I’m gonna’ add a 5th and 6th name to that list, easily qualifying me as the ‘fightinest’ champion in the history of the IGNWF! So let’s quit the stallin’ and get this show on the road!” shouts Stubby as he removes his belt and passes it along with his mic to Misty who follows close behind him…

 

Stubby rolls into the ring then moves into the bottom/right corner. Once Stubby’s in the ring the referee slides in as well and suddenly all eyes are on a wary Andrea who slowly climbs through the ropes. Once all four opponents are in the squared circle, the bell rings officially starting the match…

 

While an injured Magnifico sits slumped over in a chair at ringside, the four wrestlers vying for the title try to stare each other down. Every once in a while someone nervously takes a step forward then quickly pulls back again, not wanting to expose themselves to an attack.

 

The seconds continue to slip by with no-one daring to make the first move. Finally Stubby decides to break the tension, strides confidently into the center of the ring then dares someone, anyone to take a shot at him!

 

Stubby dares his opponent’s to attack him, but he’s taken aback when both Riley and Fallout immediately launch themselves out of their corners then charge directly at him! Fallout gets within striking distance about a second before Riley and attempts to knock Stubby’s block off with a stiff superkick! Fallout thrusts his leg towards Stubby, but the pothead manages to drop down onto his back just in time and Fallout misses his target by around half an inch.

 

Fallout doesn’t score with the kick and quickly spins himself to avoid losing his balance. As Fallout spins around Bobby, who was planning to nail the champ with a float over clothesline, slams on the breaks then drives a lightning fast series boots into Stubby’s upper chest and head. As Bobby slams his foot into Stubby’s skull, Fallout spins around a full 360 degrees and suddenly two old rivals find themselves face to face…

 

“Whoa, this should be interesting,” remarks Curry “these two men have a history which runs back to before either of them were even in the IGNWF! Fallout dealt Bobby Riley the first loss of his career and since then these men’s paths have continued to cross…”

 

“Ah yes very informative, but I have a question…”

 

“Oh uh, sure…whattaya’ wanna’ know?”

 

“I’m thinking I should come up with some sort of personal animal-related euphemism for breasts to enhance my new Lawler-esque announcing style,” declares an unusually well spoken NTD “and since ‘puppies’ and ‘kitties’ have already been done I was wondering if you think ‘hamsters’ could work? Honestly I think it’s a better name than ‘puppies’, I mean when was the last time you actually saw a woman with breasts the size of a dog?”

 

“Hmmm…yeah, plus hamsters are all soft and boneless,” responds Curry “I mean if you really tried you could probably push a hamster right through a…hey wait a minute, what the hell am I doing?! Quit trying to drag me into your sick little world…”

 

The two old adversaries instantly begin to argue as Stubby lies on the mat beneath them. The argument rages on and just as the two men look like they’re about to attack each other, Andrea comes from behind then leaps onto Riley’s back!

 

Andrea wraps her legs around her opponent’s torso and grasps tightly onto the startled Riley’s neck as he staggers back. Riley stumbles towards the left side of the ring while desperately trying to pull his opponent of his back, but before Riley can remove her Andrea drops to the mat of her own free will. Andrea holds onto Riley’s head with her left arm then falls to the canvas, forcing him down into a side-headlock.

 

The second Andrea jumped onto Riley’s back Fallout focused his attention on Stubby, blasted him with a kick to the throat then stomped the crap out of him before hauling him to his feet. While Fallout’s pulling the champ off the canvas Andrea captures Riley in a side-headlock, quickly dashes forward then nails him with a running bulldog!

 

Andrea grinds Riley’s face into the canvas near the top/left corner then springs back to her feet, but her bulldog doesn’t have much of an effect on Riley as he immediately starts pulling himself off the mat. Riley hauls himself onto his hands and knees, but before he can go any further Andrea moves like a flash, runs towards the corner, hops up onto the second turnbuckle then twists her body around before leaping at her opponent.

 

As Andrea soars towards Riley she pulls off a quick forward roll, extends her leg then brings it down over the back of her adversary’s neck, knocking him to the mat! Andrea nails Riley with a 2nd rope rolling heel kick, driving his face into the canvas before she grabs him by the legs then draws him away from the ropes. Andrea quickly flips Riley over, plants a knee in his chest while facing in the opposite direction as him then reaches back, hooks both her opponent’s legs and leans forward, forcing his shoulders to the mat. The ref’s distracted by the Fallout/Stubby battle taking place on the other side of the ring and it takes him a second to start the count…

 

1…2…Riley manages to kick out immediately following the 2 count.

 

Riley escapes the pin and Andrea releases his legs, rolls backward, springs to her feet then crouches down slightly, preparing to strike at her opponent once he gets up off the mat. Riley gets to his feet about a foot away from the ropes and Andrea rushes towards him (planning to nail a missile dropkick) but Riley sees her coming then thrusts his leg forward, hoping to knock her down with a big boot.

 

Bobby attempts to nail a big boot, but Andrea manages to stop short then leap onto his conveniently extended leg. Andrea wraps her arms around Riley’s ankle, scissors his upper leg between her thighs then tries to pull him down to the mat with a leg-scissors takedown, but at last second Riley reaches back and grabs onto the ropes.

 

Riley anchors himself to the ropes and Andrea’s unable to pull him off his feet, instead she simply drops down to the mat while clutching onto her adversary’s leg. Riley forces Andrea to release him by driving a couple stiff kicks into her side with his free leg. Andrea releases her opponent, rolls back then pops up to her feet and as she does Riley shoves off from the ropes with an attempted clothesline, but Andrea manages to duck under the attack…

 

“Wow, alota’ people doubted her, but Andrea’s managed to fight toe to toe with Riley thus far in this match. She’s looking impressive in her first of possibly many Pay per View main events…” notes Curry.

 

“Gimme’ a break, Riley’s just wants to save his energy for when he has to face a real opponent,” retorts NTD “he could take Andrea down anytime he wanted…”

 

Riley misses with the clothesline, runs right past Andrea then quickly slams on the breaks and whirls around, but as he does Andrea twists her body 180 degrees, driving an elbow deep into Riley’s midsection! Riley hunches over a bit and Andrea pulls his right arm down over her shoulder setting him up for her ‘Fine and Dandy’ flipping DDT, but before she can hook Riley’s neck he bashes her in the skull a crushing elbow smash!

 

Riley drills his elbow into the top of Andrea’s skull and she releases his arm then reels forward. Andrea staggers forward a step but before she can go any further, Bobby grabs her around the waist, hoists her off the mat then twists around and slams her down into the canvas with an impactful belly-to-back takedown!

 

Riley immediately drops into a sitting position on Andrea’s stomach, completing his signature ‘ultimate takedown’. Andrea tries to squeeze out from under her opponent, but before she can escape Riley winds up then smacks her across the face with a hard-hitting slap, snapping her head to the side and leaving a bright red handprint on her cheek. The slap stuns Andrea slightly and before she has a chance to recover Riley grabs her by the throat then leans forward, using his entire bodyweight to choke the life out of his victim.

 

While the ref’s consumed by the Fallout/Stubby war being waged just a few feet away, Riley continues to violently choke the light-heavyweight champ, only releasing Andrea once her face has turned a bright shade of red and she appears to have passed out. Riley releases Andrea’s neck, raises his right arm, tightens his hand into a loose fist then belts his female opponent across the face with a vicious backhand blow! As Riley gets to his feet and begins to taunt the enraged audience, a barely conscious Andrea drags her body towards the top/left corner, where she attempts to regain her composure…

 

“Dammit, that’s just not right.” remarks Curry “I mean, I have no problem with women wrestling men, but what we just saw had nothing to do with ‘wrestling’. That was just some asshole beating the crap out of a woman for no good reason…”

 

“Hrm…I wonder what Rebecca will have to say when she sees Riley choking the life out of another woman? If he doesn’t win the title, I suspect Riley’s in for a doubly disappointing evening…”

 

Immediately after Andrea leapt onto Riley’s back (earlier in the match), Fallout turned his attention towards Stubby, stomping his designated opponent several times before pulling him to his feet. After hauling Stubby off the canvas, Fallout snares him in a rear waistlock, tows him back towards the top/right ringpost then quickly hauls the champ into the air and breaks him in half with a vicious german suplex!

 

Fallout nails Stubby with a huge suplex, driving his head and shoulders down into the mat less that a foot away from the bottom turnbuckle. With Stubby down Fallout pulls himself off the mat, stomps the champ a few times then grabs him by the legs and drags him a few feet towards the center of the ring before signaling towards the top/right turnbuckle.

 

The fans boo at the top of their lungs as Fallout begins climbing the turnbuckle so he can hit his finisher, the ‘Nuclear Bomb’ (450 degree splash) but Fallout tries to ignore them. As Fallout reaches the second turnbuckle someone in the audience chucks a full beer cup at the evil stable leader and he has to duck to avoid it. The cup misses it’s intended target, but Fallout’s still mighty pissed as he starts to scream at the fan he believes threw the beverage and while he’s temporarily distracted Stubby starts to regain his senses.

 

Finally Fallout grows tired of arguing with the audience, climbs up onto the top rope and turns around but before he’s able to leap off, Stubby pulls himself onto his hands and knees then lunges forward, driving himself into the turnbuckle with a crude shoulder-block! Stubby slams his body into the ringpost, which causes Fallout’s feet to slip out from under him and send him crashing down onto the top turnbuckle…

 

“Ouch, Fallout just missed a huge opportunity there,” calls Curry “he could’ve easily taken the champ outta’ this match if he hadn’t allowed himself to become distracted…”

 

Fallout slips then drops down into a sitting position, crotching himself on the ringpost as Stubby pulls himself to his feet. As Riley chokes Andrea out on the other side of the ring Stubby gets up, walks forward then drives a few stiff punches into Fallout’s gut, just to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. With Fallout stuck on the top turnbuckle, Stubby turns around and starts to climb the ropes backwards as he plans to nail his opponent with his finisher the “Pipe Bomb” (top rope reverse crucifix brainbuster).

 

Stubby makes it to the second rope and is about to pull his rival’s head down over his shoulder when Fallout come to his senses then blasts the champ over the head with a powerful double-axe handle! Fallout nails the axe-handle and Stubby drops off the second turnbuckle then lands on his feet in front of Fallout, who plants a boot in the center of the pothead’s back before shoving him forward.

 

As Stubby lurches out of the corner, Fallout hauls himself into a crouching position on the top turnbuckle and waits for his opening. Stubby stumbles forward a few steps before he stops himself and turn back towards the top/right corner. Stubby turns around and as he does Fallout leaps off the turnbuckle, grabs Stubby by the head then attempts to nail him with a jumping tornado DDT!

 

Fallout grapples Stubby’s head and swings off to the left, but before he can get far Stubby extends his right arm, grabs his opponent between the legs then brings him to a grinding halt. Stubby catches his opponent in mid-air, spins him around in the opposite direction, grasps onto his shoulder then heaves Fallout towards the mat before crashing down on top of him! Stubby reverses his opponent’s DDT into a huge rotating powerslam, drives him into the canvas, quickly rolls over so his shoulders lay across Fallout’s chest then hooks the leg…

 

1…2…Fallout escapes before the 3 count and the crowd boos loudly.

 

“That reversal was crucial for Stubby,” Curry informs the viewers “as it could easily put him back in charge of his opponent and allow him to end this first round quickly, which he n--”

 

“Oh, who cares?” butts in NTD “I’m pretty sure our viewers would much rather watch Andrea and her hamsters pull themselves up in the corner. I mean I really gotta’ hand it to her, she’s a helluva lot more resilient than that blow-up sex doll I bought last week. They just don’t seem to make ‘em like they used to…”

 

While Stubby covers Fallout, Riley finally grows weary of taunting the fans and turns back towards a woozy Andrea, who’s used the ropes to get back on her feet. Andrea’s standing but doesn’t seem to be all there and as she leans against the top/left turnbuckle Riley charges towards her.

 

Riley runs forward and attempts to nail his adversary with a kick to the gut, but just as Riley drives his foot forward Andrea summons all her strength, pushes off from the mat then pulls herself up into a shaky half-handstand on the top turnbuckle. Andrea avoids Riley’s kick and his foot slams into the ringpost, forcing Andrea to lose her balance then fall back towards the ring.

 

Within’ the space of a second Andrea drops back towards the ring, lands back-first over her opponent’s shoulder, slides down behind him then grabs him by the head and hits him with a jarring neckbreaker! With some help from the turnbuckle Andrea nails Riley with a massive handstand neckbreaker, bouncing her tailbone off the mat as she does. With pain shooting through her lower back and BUTT Andrea starts to pull herself up as Riley lays prone on the mat…

 

“Aw look, poor lil’ Andrea fell on her bottom.” sneers NTD.

 

“Jesus, you have some real issues with women don’t you? It’s a good thing we only have one female wrestler in the IGNWF, because I doubt your feeble mind could handle any more…”

 

After Fallout kicks out of the pin, Stubby slowly pulls himself up then hauls his opponent to his feet before placing his chin over his shoulder. Stubby’s about to nail Fallout with a shoulder jawbreaker, but the leader of Prime Evil manages to bury a knee deep into his adversary’s gut, preventing the move.

 

Fallout knees Stubby in the stomach, catches him with a thumb to the eye then wraps his arms around the pothead’s waist and places his head underneath his right arm, setting McWeed up for a northern lights suplex! Fallout’s about to nail the suplex, but a quick thinking champion manages to wrap his left leg around his enemy’s calf, blocking the maneuver.

 

Fallout tries to power his opponent over, but the effort’s in vain as Stubby tightens his grasp on Fallout’s head (which is still under Stubby’s right arm) then pushes back and drops to the canvas, drilling his adversary’s head into the mat with vicious DDT!

 

“Another good reversal by M…hey, wait a second.” exclaims Curry, interrupting his own train of thought “Magnifico’s out of his chair and walking, well actually limping, over towards us! What the hell do ya’ think he’s got planned?”

 

“Probably nothing, Mexicans aren’t exactly known for their brains.” answers NTD sarcastically.

 

“Now folks, don’t forget to send NTD your hate mail and letters bombs, he’s seems to be trying extra hard to piss everyone off tonight and you’re angry letters should really make his day…”

 

“Yeah well, everyone loved the racial slurs when Lawler was doing ‘em.” whines NTD.

 

Stubby nails the DDT, hauls Fallout back to his feet, kicks him in the gut and is about to set him up for the Paranoid Freak-out when he spots his wife out of the corner of his eye. McWeed faces away from the top side of the ring as he glances at his wife who yells and points wildly at something behind him. Stubby catches on swiftly then turns around, but as soon as he does he’s bashed in the head with the light-heavyweight title!

 

While Stubby was dealing with Fallout, Magnifico managed to hobble over and slide into the ring behind the champion and as Stubby turns around he crushes the belt down over his skull, knocking him to the mat. As Stubby lays on the mat with blood flowing from his newly re-opened stitches, the ref demands that Magnifico leave the ring, but in the end the official’s powerless to remove him, due to the match’s ‘no-DQ’ stipulation.

 

As Fallout gets to his feet then makes his way over towards an unconscious Stubby, Magnifico stands near the bottom of the ring and looks down at the belt he holds in his hands. Magnifico had simply grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on and a smile spreads over his face as he realizes he’s holding the belt he’s been chasing for months. As the crowd boos, Fallout hauls Stubby to his feet and Magnifico moves into the center of the ring then raises the light-heavyweight title above his head…

 

“Bloody hell, not only has Magnifico disrupted this match, but he’s acting like he owns a belt he hasn’t even earned!” bellows Curry.

 

“Well if it bothers you that much, maybe ya’ should’ve done something when he was grabbing the title off our announce table!” counters NTD.

 

Magnifico continues to hold the belt above his head, a wide smile spread across face as the angry audience boos him. After a couple seconds Magnifico lowers the belt, but as he does a recovered Andrea runs up from behind and springs off the mat, landing on the unsuspecting Magnifico’s back. The already weakened Magnifico staggers forward a step, Andrea drives an elbow into the back of his head and he drops the belt (which lands near Stubby’s feet) then tumbles to the mat with Andrea landing on top of him.

 

Andrea hits the head-scissors bulldog, quickly gets off the canvas then as Magnifico tries to struggle to his feet she nails him with a quick kick to the face, pulls him up, wraps her leg around her opponent’s, hooks his arms then drops back drilling him into the mat with her finisher, ‘Done and Dusted’ (double-arm DDT)!

 

As Fallout attempts to set McWeed up for his finisher, Andrea pulls the unconscious Magnifico towards the bottom of the ring then shoves him out under the ropes. As Andrea takes a second to yell at the #1 contender to her belt, Fallout blast Stubby with a knee to the face and grabs him by the head, finally setting him up for his finisher the ‘Meltdown’ (brainbuster DDT)!

 

Fallout’s just about to drop the DDT when McWeed’s wife slides into the ring behind him, nailing the Prime Evil leader with a low blow right in front of the ref’s face! The referee yells at Misty as she rolls out of the ring and Fallout releases Stubby then staggers forward. As Fallout reels forward Stubby glances beside him, notices Andrea’s title belt laying at his feet and immediately scoops it up then smashes it over the back of Fallout’s skull!

 

The audience explodes as Fallout drops to the mat and Stubby looks at the belt in his hands. Stubby doesn’t recognize the belt, nonchalantly tosses it over ropes on the left side of the ring then asks Misty to toss him his title. She does and Stubby walks back towards his adversary as he’s starting to wobble to his feet.

 

The champ moves around to the front of his opponent, pulls the title back then as Fallout looks up, he crushes it down over his forehead with destructive force! Fallout hits the mat, blood flowing from a newly torn gash on his forehead and Stubby drops the belt, hauls his rival to his feet, sets him up then hits him with…

 

“I can’t watch this,” moans NTD “tell me when it’s over…”

 

…a skull shattering Paranoid Freak-out! Stubby quickly rolls Fallout into a tight package and the ref starts the count…

 

1…2…3! The audience is absolutely deafening as Stubby eliminates Fallout!

 

“That’s it folks, Fallout’s finished!” proclaims Curry “Alota’ people had the Prime Evil leader singled out as the man to finally separate Stubby from his title, but a well placed low blow and title shot to the head have taken Fallout outta’ this match-up!”

 

As Stubby rolls his opponent under the ropes on the top side of the ring Andrea forgets about Magnifico, turns back towards the ring and is immediately greeted by a stiff clothesline courtesy of a recovered Bobby Riley! Riley (who’s still a bit woozy) runs Andrea down with a hard clothesline, knocking the light-heavyweight champ for a full 360 degree bump! Andrea hits the mat and Riley drives a few boots into her midsection before pulling her off the mat.

 

Riley hauls Andrea to her feet, kicks her in the stomach then sets her up for a powerbomb before turning towards the bottom/left ringpost. Riley has Andrea in position for his finisher the ‘Outsider Bomb’ (turnbuckle powerbomb), hauls her up onto his shoulders then is about to run forward when Stubby comes from behind and smacks him upside the head with the IGNWF heavyweight title!

 

Stubby nails Riley with a powerful shot, tosses the belt to Misty then rolls out of the ring as Riley drops Andrea and staggers forward. Riley releases Andrea and she falls back, tightens her legs around his neck then pulls him down to the mat with a lightning fast hurricanrana! Riley hits the canvas back first and Andrea drops into a sitting position on his chest then reaches back, hooking his legs as the ref begins the count…

 

1…2…3! Riley gets his shoulder up less than a second after the 3 count, but it’s too late as Andrea scores the unexpected pinfall!

 

“It’s hardly been more than a minute since Fallout was eliminated and now Bobby Riley’s out of the match as well!” shouts Curry “It’s now down to the final two, but here’s my question…why the hell would Stubby help Andrea Montgomery?”

 

“C’mon, it’s obvious this was McWeed’s plan right from the beginning,” returns NTD “use the no-DQ stipulation to eliminate anyone who might actually be a threat, then just roll over an already beaten up Andrea to retain the title!”

 

“Are ya’ saying you don’t think Andrea has a chance at winning this match?” asks Curry.

 

“Oh sure I do, kinda’ like there’s a chance we might all be crushed by a meteor before the show’s over…”

 

Riley escapes almost immediately after the 3 count, then staggers to his feet as a white hot rage burns in his eyes. As soon as the irate Riley gets up Andrea runs forward and nails him with a kick to the stomach, but other than having to hunch over slightly Riley manages to hold his ground then lunges forwards, ramming his knee deep into Andrea’s stomach!

 

Andrea has the wind knocked out of her and as she stumbles back towards the left side of the ring Riley moves forwards then grabs her around the waist, setting her up for a belly-to-belly suplex! Riley’s about to haul Andrea off the mat, but before he’s able to lift her she reaches up, grabs him by the back of the head then drives her skull forward, nailing Riley with a stinging headbutt!

 

Even though Andrea stunned herself slightly when she hit the headbutt, she still manages to break away from Riley, turn around, grab him by the head then pull him down to the canvas with a snapmare. Riley lands ass first on the mat and Andrea takes a couple steps back, runs forward then nails her opponent with a dropkick to the upper back, knocking him through the ropes to the floor. Riley’s forced out under the bottom rope then smacks his head on the concrete floor as a lightheaded Andrea slumps down against the top/left turnbuckle.

 

As Andrea tries to recuperate in the corner and McWeed stands outside the ring talking to his wife Funyon slides into the squared circle, gets to his feet then starts to speak…

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” begins Funyon “your winners in the first round of this ‘double jeopardy’ IGNWF word title match are Andrea Montgomery and Stubby P. McWeeeed! The second round will commence once those who were eliminated have been removed from ringside…”

 

A team of about 6 or 7 large security guards march out from beside the ramp to remove anyone not involved in the final round. As security approaches, Riley gets to his feet and is about to slide back into the ring so he can take one last shot at Andrea, but the guards manage to grab him just in time. Riley scuffles with security for a few moments, but eventually he relents then lets them escort him back up the ramp as he hurls a steady stream of foul language at McWeed and Andrea.

 

As Riley’s ushered towards the stage a couple more security guards revive the battered Magnifico while another two drag a bloody, unconscious Fallout towards the ramp. Once all 3 men have been removed from ringside, Funyon rolls out under the ropes and Andrea pulls herself out of the corner before moving into the center of the ring to await her rival.

 

Andrea stands crouched over slightly with her hands on her knees as she self-assuredly commands Stubby to get in the ring, but the champion simply chuckles at her then signals to his wife, who promptly rolls into the ring. Andrea’s not exactly sure what’s going on as Misty begins taunting her while Stubby makes his way towards the announcer’s table. As Andrea hollers at him the champion walks towards the top side of the ring, gets one of the workers to toss him a mic then begins to speak…

 

“Now wait just a second girl, what the hell’re you getting so bent outta’ shape about?” asks Stubby “I have my suspicions, but since I’m not like most of the other cats around here I’m not gonna’ make any crude comments about it being ‘your time of the month’ or anything, cause that would be rude. In fact as an upstanding citizen and all round polite guy, I think hitting women is wrong and since Misty’s been itchin’ for a fight lately, I’ve decided to let her do my hittin’ for me! Hell, my wife’s been around here for a helluva lot longer than you have darlin’ so if you manage to beat her, then maybe, just maybe I’ll let you get yer busy little hands on a real champion…”

 

A furious Andrea can’t believe what she’s hearing and screams her head off at McWeed as he returns his mic to the announcer’s table then grabs a chair. McWeed sets the chair up on the left side of the squared circle, sits down and laughs at Andrea as she dares him to get in the ring…

 

“Good lord, Stubby’s gotta’ be the biggest chicken-sh*tted bastard I’ve ever seen in my life!” shrieks NTD “Not only does he maneuver Andrea into the final round of the match, but he refuses to fight her until she’s been worn down by his own wife! I can’t believe the fans like this guy so much...”

 

“So you’re saying this whole patronizing, sexist thing is just an act?”

 

“Sure, why the hell not?” replies NTD “If he’s really such a pig, why does he constantly let his wife tell him what to do? I mean I’m a sexist jackass myself, so you can trust me when I say this is just another one of McWeed’s elaborate plots…”

 

Andrea continues to yell at Stubby until she hears a pair of footsteps approaching from behind, whirls around and finds herself nearly face to face with McWeed’s wife. All the startled Andrea has time for is a quick clothesline, but Misty manages to duck under the attack, grab onto Andrea’s head as she passes then drop her down to the mat with a harsh hangman’s neckbreaker!

 

With her back facing towards the top/right corner Andrea pulls herself off the mat, but as she does Misty drives a kick into her ribs then snares her in a full-nelson, setting Andrea up for her finisher the ‘Sexual Revolution sweep’ (full-nelson forward russian legsweep). Misty attempts to pull off the move, but Andrea’s quite a bit larger than Misty (at least 40 pounds heavier) and manages to force her back then crush her against the turnbuckle!

 

Andrea powers Misty back into the corner, slams her up against the ringpost and forces her to release the full-nelson. Once Misty lets go of her, Andrea drives an elbow back into her female opponent’s midsection, grabs her in a side-headlock as she doubles over then runs forward and scrapes her face across the canvas with a running bulldog!

 

Andrea drills her opponent into the mat but instead of releasing Misty, she stands up again (with her rival’s head under her arm) then drops back down to the mat, nailing Misty with a second bulldog! Misty’s slight frame goes limp after the second bulldog, but Andrea decides to really drive the point home, pulls Stubby’s wife to her feet again, runs forward then destroys her with a third and final running bulldog!

 

“Ouch, I guess Misty can’t claim to be the top female wrestler in the IGNWF anymore!” mentions Curry.

 

“She never was the top female wrestler in the IGNWF…” shoots back NTD.

 

“Hey, I thought you were tryin’ to imitate Lawler…aren’t you forgetting something?” reminds Curry.

 

“Oh right, of course…catfight! It was a catfight Curry! A catfight!”

 

A thin stream of blood runs from Misty’s nose down her cheek as Andrea shoves her out under the ropes on the right side of the ring, dropping McWeed’s unconscious wife to the floor about a foot from where he sits. The smile on McWeed’s face has been replaced by a scowl and as Andrea yells at him, he slowly makes his way up the ringsteps (which sit against the top/right turnbuckle) then enters the squared circle admist the cheers of his fans.

 

An intense looking Stubby slowly walks into the center of the ring (the bell’s rung) and as he does Andrea bounces in a circle around him, looking for an opening. Every couple of seconds Andrea darts forward, but Stubby always seems to be ready for her and she backs off again then continues circling the champ as he stands in the center of the ring. This continues for several seconds and when Andrea’s unable to find a decent opening she decides to take a risk.

 

Andrea charges towards her opponent and as soon as she’s within his range McWeed attempts to kick her in the gut, but as he thrusts his foot towards her Andrea twists her body around then backflips right over the champ’s leg! Andrea backflips towards Stubby then grabs him by the head and her backward momentum nearly caries her into a vertical position before she drops forward again.

 

Andrea attempts to complete the backflip diamond-cutter, but as she drops down the champ lunges forward and grabs her around the waist! Stubby snatches his opponent out of mid-air, pulls her back against his body then dives forward, grinding Andrea into the mat with a modified face first powerslam! Andrea hits the mat then Stubby pulls himself up, takes a few steps back and crouches down a bit as he waits for Montgomery to get back to her feet.

 

Andrea slowly pulls herself off the canvas and once she’s up Stubby rushes towards her, looking like he’s about to nail a clothesline but instead he stops about a foot away from his rival, grabs her by the shoulder then simply shoves her off her feet!

 

“Oh wow, how impressive…Stubby can push a woman over, he’s so strong!”

 

“Hey, at least he didn’t bash her teeth out like Fallout would’ve if he had managed to advance to the second round…” argues Curry.

 

Andrea scrambles to her feet but before she can get all the way up, Stubby grabs her by the pants, drags her back a few steps then hefts her up like a bag of leaves and tosses her into the top/right corner! Andrea slams into the corner back first, staggers forward and as she tumbles to the mat the referee wobbles out from behind her then weaves his way into the center of the ring where he collapses in a heap.

 

When Stubby was heaving Andrea into the corner he didn’t check to see if anyone was already standing there and he accidentally tossed his adversary into the official, knocking his head back against the turnbuckle. As the ref drops to the mat and Stubby curses his bad luck, someone steps through the curtain then runs down to the ring…

 

“Yes! The ref’s down and here comes Divefire to save the day!” roars NTD “At long last the McWeed era’s come to an end!”

 

“So I guess that means we’ll be starting the ‘Andrea era’ eh? Ya’ know, that actually has a nice ring to it…”

 

Stubby faces away from the ramp but the increased noise coming from the crowd tells him something’s going on and he whirls around just as Divefire’s sliding into the ring. As Divefire enters the ring Stubby moves swiftly, drives a stiff kick into the recovering Andrea’s liver then hauls her off the mat and locks her in a full-nelson.

 

Stubby holds Andrea close and Divefire doesn’t dare strike while the champion’s using his ‘friend’ as a shield. Andrea desperately tries to break free of her captor, but to no avail as Stubby and the commissioner stare each other down. The crowd’s excitement steadily builds as the two men in the ring slowly circle each other.

 

Suddenly Andrea kicks back and tries to nail Stubby with a low blow, but the pothead manages to drive a knee into the her thigh at the same time, blocking the attack as the ref begins to pull himself off the mat. Divefire notices the ref getting to his feet out of the corner of his eye and while he’s distracted Stubby shoves Andrea to the canvas, leaps over her fallen frame then blasts him with a kick to the gut! Divefire doubles over, Stubby grabs him, sets him up then nails him with…

 

“That’s the IGNWF commissioner for Christ’s sake!” screeches NTD “Stubby wouldn’t dare!”

 

…a brain scrambling Paranoid Freak-out! Stubby nails his second Freak-out of the night then shoves Divefire under the ropes on the top side of the ring as the fans chant his name. After eliminating the commish Stubby makes his way towards the center of the ring, but as he does a semi-recovered Andrea sneaks up from behind then nails the unsuspecting champion with a quick low blow!

 

Stubby doubles over in pain and Andrea grabs him by the shoulder, spins him around then hurriedly hooks his arms, placing the loveable pothead into position for her finisher ‘Done and Dusted’. Not wanting to waste any time Andrea doesn’t bother to wrap her leg around Stubby’s calf as she plants him into the canvas with a harsh double-arm DDT! Andrea rolls on top of Stubby, hooks the leg then yells something at the ref, who comes to his senses and starts the count…

 

1…2…Stubby just barely manages to escape in time! Most of the fans cheer as Stubby kicks out, but for the first time since he won the belt a significant portion of the audience are actually supporting his opponent.

 

Stubby escapes the pin then tries to pull himself off the mat, but the champ remains quite shaky after absorbing Andrea’s finisher (even though it was a slightly watered down version of the move). Stubby finally makes it up, but as soon as he’s on his feet Andrea strides forward, reaches into her pocket then grabs Stubby by the back of the head and yanks his face into her chest!

 

“Oh my god!” gasps an excited NTD “Andrea’s letting McWeed have some quality time with the gerbils!”

 

“Uhhh…weren’t you calling them ‘hamsters’ before?” asks Curry.

 

“Gerbils, hamsters…what’s the difference?”

 

Andrea shoves Stubby’s face into her boobs and even though his wife’s recovering only a few feet away he doesn’t seem overly eager to escape, that is until Andrea pulls her hand out of her pocket then douses his eyes with mace! Due to Stubby and Andrea’s position as well as the general shock value of the moment the challenger’s use of pepper spray goes completely un-noticed by the official.

 

“Hah, take that Stubby!” shouts NTD, who unlike the ref actually noticed Andrea using the pepper spray “Yer not the only one who can play dirty!”

 

Andrea releases the blinded Stubby’s head, shoves him into the center of the ring then backs towards the bottom/left corner where she discreetly tosses the bottle of mace through the ropes. As Stubby bumbles about blindly in the ring Andrea runs forward, nails him with a borderline low blow and once he hunches over she moves around so they’re back to back then pulls Stubby’s arm over her shoulder.

 

Andrea drags Stubby’s arm over her shoulder, hooks his neck then turns towards the top/left corner and runs forward. Once she gets to the corner Andrea begins to scale the ringpost then when she reaches the second turnbuckle she bounces off, pull her body back, flips right over Stubby’s head and nails him with a forceful single arm, inverted DDT (fine and dandy)! Andrea drives Stubby’s head into the mat, hauls him back into the center of the ring then hooks his leg and leans back hard, pinning his shoulders to the canvas…

 

1…2…No! Another very close call for Stubby!

 

After two very close falls a somewhat frustrated Andrea gets to her feet then slams a series of surprisingly vicious kicks into Stubby’s head, tearing open his stitches even further and causing the blood to start flowing down the pothead’s face again. As a blinded and bloody Stubby lays prone on the mat Andrea tries to decide what she should do next over the deafening racket from the crowd.

 

Finally she makes up her mind, walks towards the bottom/left corner then begins to climb the turnbuckle with her back to her opponent. The exhausted Andrea takes a bit longer than usual to reach the top before she leaps off with an attempted corkscrew moonsault, but little does she know that when she was busy climbing the buckle a confused Stubby had managed to stagger to his feet!

 

As Andrea flips backward she realizes her opponent’s on his feet, but of course by this time it’s too late to do anything about it. Stubby has no idea that his rival’s hurtling towards him, that is until Andrea crashes down over his shoulder, knocking him back down to the canvas! Andrea knocks the wind out of herself as she collides with McWeed then both her and the champ crash to the canvas.

 

“Aw crap! C’mon Andrea, get off yer damn ass!” roars NTD as Andrea and McWeed lay prone on the mat.

 

“Don’t get so excited, how’s Stubby gonna’ be able to beat her when he can’t see a thing?” poses Curry.

 

Finally Stubby and Andrea start to get to their feet at nearly the exact same time. Andrea curses to herself and clutches at her stomach as she gets up, not really paying much attention to McWeed who she doesn’t believe can attack her in his state. Stubby’s field of vision is a blurry, teary mess but as he gets to his feet he homes in on the sound of Andrea’s dirty mouth, kicks forward and actually nails his unprepared adversary with a hard kick!

 

Stubby’s vision has mended a bit as he kicks Andrea in the midsection and he’s able to pick out an extremely fuzzy figure in front of him. Stubby lunges towards the figure and out of pure luck manages to grab Andrea by the head then immediately nail her with…

 

“3 bloody Freak-outs in a single match?! I think I’m gonna’ throw up!” whines NTD.

 

…a bone crunching Paranoid Freak-out! Andrea’s head is driven violently into the mat then Stubby searches the canvas blindly until he runs across her fallen body. Stubby drapes his arm over Andrea’s shoulders and the ref drops down then begins the count…

 

1…2…3! Andrea’s out cold and Stubby covers her to retain his belt! The crowd’s on their feet as Stubby gets to his then tries to make his way out of the ring.

 

Stubby’s completely disoriented and seems incapable of even finding ropes, but after a while McWeed’s groggy wife slides into the ring to help him out. The audience cheers as Misty guides Stubby out of the ring then splashes water in his eyes, improving his vision considerably.

 

“Wow, what an unpredictable match that was!” cries Curry “All four competitors put up a hell of a fight, but once again Stubby P. McWeed leaves the ring with the belt around his waist! Who will be the next one to challenge McWeed and what about all the other amazing developments that took place tonight? You’d better not miss next week’s edition of Storm , because I have a feeling all these questions and more will be answered this coming Friday, but for now I’m Curry man…signing off!”

 

Misty hands her husband his belt then leads him up the ramp as a semi-recovered Divefire rolls into the ring to check on the unconscious Andrea. Once McWeed reaches the stage he pauses then turns to acknowledge the audience, but as he does Perfect Bo bursts through the curtain behind him with a steel chair in his hands!

 

The audience boos loudly and as Stubby turns around Bo crushes the chair over the pothead’s skull with destructive force! Stubby drops off his feet and Bo screams at Misty who cautiously backs off as the hardcore god pulls a mic out of his pocket…

 

“Well congratulations McWeed,” hisses Bo “on beating a pack of no-talent f*cks who had no chance of winning anyways! On IGNite you gave the title-shot I deserved to the woman you just pinned in the ring and that was probably the smartest move you’ve ever made in your life. If that’d been me in there, I wouldn’t be layin’ on the mat, oh no. I woulda’ beaten your skull into a f*ckin’ pulp, bashed your wife’s face in then walked outta’ the arena with that title around my waist, all without breakin’ a sweat! Bottomline Stubby, you can’t hurt me, you can’t beat me and after tonight…it’s gonna’ get personal…”

 

Bo drops his mic on Stubby’s chest then towers over his fallen body as the show fades to black…

[Guest HVilleThugg]

I have HVT vs. Zio, but it's at home. I'll post it when I get home tonight..

 

Da "woo, my second favorite self-written match of all time" H

[Guest midnight_burn]

The only match i'd really want at the moment would be Mark Stevens Clusterfuck Battle Royal, i'd appreciate if someone could pick that up. Near the bottom of page 7 is where the show is.

[Guest Powerplay]

Johnny, I want to see King's first match. PM it to me, if you could.

[Guest midnight_burn]

King's first match is here, second post i believe.

[Guest crusen86]

One GSMS Clusterfuck.

 

As the mess from the last match is cleaned up, the image of the artena fades out to a public service announcement....

 

A promo runs showing some of the insane bumps the WFers have taken since the very first scoop slam. People are flying off cages, crashing through tables, smashing into concrete, nailing each other with baseball bats and ring bells, all to the tune of Beethoven's "Ode to Joy". There is a somber, quiet voice over...

 

VO: Some people call these men and women the best entertainers in the world. Flying without wings, daring the fates... but we just call them crazy. I mean, come on! Look at this stuff? And you are thinking about trying this at home? Think again...

 

A nasty series of close-ups showing the brutal wounds received in the last year or so slides by. Every one of them is gushing blood; and every one looks like a pit-bull has ripped off skin. The biggest stars in the fed are shown unable to stand, getting stitches and being treated for burns. It looks like a scene from ER...

 

VO: But if you do try this... send us a tape. We've found some of our best talents that way...

 

The promo fades to the tumultuous applause from the thousands in the arena!! Lights are flashing and suddenly, "Tonight the Stars Revolt" kicks up!! The shot changes to Curry Man and NTD sitting dressed in tuxes (well, above the waist anyway) behind the battered and often broken announcer's table.

 

Curry: Welcome back to a sold-out MCI Center in the nation's capitol!! The fans are fired up for the biggest single match of the year, Clusterf**k!!

 

NTD: And what a line up entered this year!! There is a ton of gold being represented in that ring tonight, both former and current!!

 

Curry: What you say is indeed true! Now, we all know who has been entered, sixteen of the biggest stars in the industry, and we know that El Luchadore Magnifico will have the obvious advantage by entering last. But the order has just been determined in the back by a random drawing.

 

NTD: What Curry is trying to say is that we have even less of an idea than usual about what is going to happen tonight! But buckle up and get the VCR ready to go, 'cause this will be a match you are going to want to have on tape for years to come!!

 

The camera cuts to Funyon as he enters the ring and raises a mic to his lips...

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for Clusterf**k 2002!! (Huge pop from the fans!!) Elimination can only occur after being thrown over the top rope, then both feet touching the floor! A wrestler cannot eliminate themselves!! The match will start with the first four wrestlers in the ring, then a new wrestler will enter the match every two minutes until all sixteen have netered the match. At that time, when all but three men have been eliminated, the format will change to a triple threat match for the Number One Contendership to the IGNWF World Heavyweight Title!!

 

The crowd cheers, both hating and appreciating the massive buildup. Finally, the lights fade down to black. Instantly and simultaneously, the chorus of "We're In This Together" by Nine Inch Nails BLARES and the lights strobe the stage!! X steps out from the curtains!

 

Funyon: In the Number One position, weighing in at 211 pounds and hailing from Washington D.C. (massive hometown pop for X), he is the current Intercontinental-Television Champion, X

 

X walks down with the strobe, then climbs up onto the apron and pushes himself backwards, flipping over the ropes. Then, the strobe stops, leaving the arena in darkness, and golden sparks shoot from the ring posts and descend, showering him and illuminating him in an eerie amber glow. When it stops and the lights go back to normal, X stands there, ready to face his opponent.

 

Curry: Ouch! This will be a brutal match for the first person out!

 

NTD: Indeed Curry, X has a long way to go before this one is over...

 

The lights go down in the arena again, as 'For You' by Staind kicks up, signalling the arrival of Stryke. Blue and silver fireworks blast up from each side of the entranceway, as Stryke comes through the entrance to loud cheers from the crowd. Stryke walks down the ramp and stops at the end, raising his right arm into the air.

 

Funyon: On his way to the ring, making his IGNWF debut... he weighs in at 240 pounds and hails from Sydney, Australia... he is STRYKE!!!

 

The fans cheer loudly as Stryke lowers his hand, causing a large blue flame to erupt from the center of the stage. He then enters the ring, and climbs the far turnbuckles, raising his arm on each one. As he gets on the second turnbuckle, he takes of his sunglasses and tosses them into the crowd, giving one fan a souvenier that they'll never forget. He then takes a seat on top of the turnbuckle, waiting for his opponents. X glares at him from the opposite corner but doesn't start anything, wanting to conserve his strength.

 

Curry: And what a match to make your debut in NTD!! The fans are loving this!

 

NTD: They are cheering for a JLer? What is the world coming to?

 

Curry: Who's next out?

 

The lights begin to lose their luster and fade down to black, and then back up to a bright, deep blue as "Stay Awake" by Dishwalla begins to rumble throughout the arena. The IGNtron shows watermark images of some of Mercury's best matches overlaid onto a shadowy figure of Mercury leaning his back against a brick wall.

 

'Staring at the wall because you know it understands'

'And boy you wonder about everything that could have been'

'It's getting later all the time but you're still wide awake'

'And boy you wonder, if you'll ever sleep again'

 

Funyon: Making his way to the ring.... hailing from Los Angeles, California and weighing in at 225 pounds.... MERCURY!!!

 

As the song goes into the chorus, the blue lighting begins to pulsate a bit, slowly fading down to an almost black, and then back up to the original color. It speeds up gradually, getting faster and faster until the last time, the entire front of the stage is illuminated in a white wall of flares. As the wall dies, the music stops and the lights go completely black for a moment...only to burst back on with Mercury standing triumphantly in the center of the entrance stage. The music kicks back up where it left off at the same time as the lights come back, and Mercury slowly descends upon the entrance ramp to a decidedly mixed reaction from the crowd. He dives into the ring once he gets to the bottom and stands up in the middle of the ring, smirking as he looks into the faces of the nameless people amongst the crowd. The lights come back on and the music fades out as he stretches a bit, getting ready for the match. He moves to an open corner and waits to see who comes out last to start the match...

 

NTD: Wow! There are quite a few big names in this match to get started! I was sure X and Merc would have higher spot!!

 

Curry: Nothing to do about it now NTD! Although I have to say, if there is anybody who can win this thing from the opening position, I'd have to say X and his unorthodox ring style!!

 

As "Americana" by The Offspring hits the speakers, the majority of lights go off, and other lights come on, casting a deep blue glow over the stage, ramp, and ring.

 

Curry: Its Rane!! By God Rane!!!!

 

NTD: This match just changed face again Curry! Rane in at the beginning makes everybody change their strategy!!

 

Smoke begins enveloping the entrance area until a thick cloud surrounds the entire stage. A few seconds later, Rane walks through the cloud of smoke, then heads directly to the ring.

 

Funyon: And in the number four position, weighing in at 377 pounds and hailing from Philadelphia... RANE!!!

 

He slides in under the bottom rope, and gets to his feet. The crowd is going nuts!! Looking out over the crowd, he raises his arms as white pyros shoot high into the air from each corner... then the fight is on!! Funyon barely clears the ring before the three other men descend on Rane!!! The bell rings...

 

** Ding, ding, ding **

 

Curry: And Clusterf**k 2002 is underway!!!

 

NTD: Curry, I have to say that this is my favorite match of the year!! Anything can happen!!

 

In the ring, Rane has been lifted off his feet and the combined might of X, Stryke and Mercury are trying to push him over the top rope!! But the huge former champ has other ideas and starts swinging wildly, just trying to connect with someone! Merc ducks and lets go... X hangs onto his grip on Rane's shoulder, but poor Stryke takes the brunt of the swing right upside the head!! The JL star staggers back, holding the side of his head, a stunned look on his face! Merc sees him stumble, and moves in for the kill!! He pulls Stryke into a front facelock and drops back, nailing a DDT!! Meanwhile, Rane has set his sights on X and is swinging away, trying to connect one of the crushing, armor-piercing blows that he is famous for!! But X is too fast for him! He is ducking under, rolling away from and avoiding everything Rane is throwing at him!! Meanwhile, Marc has control of Stryke, and is laying in a few softening up blows, backing the JLer up against the ropes!! Marc steps back, and winds up for a cloithesline trying to take the newcomer out of the match in the early going!! But Stryke sees it coming, ducks under, wraps him arm across Merc's chest and throws himself forward!! Wham!!

 

Curry: Nice reversal by Stryke!!

 

NTD: I'll tell you... say all you want about the JL being a minor league, but most of the boys and girls down there can bring it!!

 

Curry: Bring what?

 

NTD: What?

 

Curry: You said they could bring it. I asked you what "it" was.

 

NTD: Oh... umm... ability?

 

Curry: Nice try...

 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, X has taken a more proactive approach to the big man, using Rane's momentum against him and landing several quick, stinging blows. Rane appears not to notice, but is slowing down quite a bit. X is getting a little more cocky about it, trying to go on offense instead of fighting a defensive battle. He gets inside Rane's range, daring the big man to hit him! X snaps a fast kick to Rane's midsection that briefly stuns the big man, then follows up with a flurry of right and left hands that stagger the Goliath back into a corner!! X doesn't let up, using all of his speed to pummel Rane and keep the former champ off balance!!

 

Curry: This is a long match! X needs to conserve some energy!

 

NTD: But all of the conserved energy in the world doesn't mean a thing if Rane throws you out of the match in the first two minutes!!

 

Curry: Speaking of which...

 

The crowd counts down the final three seconds until a huge air horn goes off...

 

"Anarchy in the U.K" by the Sex Pistols starts to play!!!

 

Curry: It's Rotten!!! Johnny Rotten!!!

 

Rotten hits the ring just as Stryke is pulling Merc up and trying top lift him over the ropes!! Rotten drops to one knee and lands a shoulder in the back of Stryke's knee, causing him to fall! Merc hits the mat next to him! Stryke is looking for the assailant, but Rotten has other priorities!! He immediately pops back to his feet and charges towards Rane and X!! X still has the advantage, but Rane has managed to push his way out of the corner!! Rotten steps right behind X, throws his arms around the Bastard's neck locking in a choke hold!! Rane takes the opportunity to send a hard kick into X's stomach that blasts all the air out of him!! Rotten then lifts up and drops him down on his back, nailing the Rotten Urangue!! Rotten is back to his feet in an instant, but Rane sees only a victim to be destroyed!! He reaches out with both hands and grabs Rotten by the throat and lifts him high in the air, sp[ins him around and plants him on the mat with a nasty November Rane!!!

 

On the other side of the ring, Merc has used Rotten's distraction to get the advantage over Stryke. He pulls him off the mat, then grabs Stryke's right hand, twisting it into a hammerlock. He continues the twist while holding the lock in place, putting Stryke in a hammerlock front facelock underneath his left arm. He then pulls up on the hammerlocked arm, simultaneously throwing himself backwards, driving the opponent's head into a crushing DDT!!

 

NTD: The Pipedream!! Ouch!!

 

Curry: And now the only two men standing are Rane and Mercury!!

 

Both men get to their feet at about the same time, with every intention of starting the eliminations!! But then they see each other! The crowd starts to pop, expecting to see a massive brawl erupt between two of the WF's legendary stars!! They approach each other as the other three men start to recover their bearings around the periphery of the ring!! They meet in the center of the ring, standing toe to toe!! The crowd is just going nuts now!!

 

Curry: NTD, this is a classic confrontation!! These two have been around for a long time!! These two have won multiple belts and set the standard for competition in the IGNWF!!

 

NTD: That's right, and in the biggest match of the year, it looks like they are set to destroy each other!!

 

Rane starts the verbal assault, tearing into Mercury!! Merc doesn't respond, preferring to stare right into Rane's eyes!! The bigger man increases his tirade, and punctuates his remarks with little pushes to Merc's chest!! Around them, the other three are just starting to get to their knees. All of them are looking at what is about to happen, and all of them decide they don't want any part of that, instead wanting to pick up the pieces after it is over!! Merc responds to the push by pushing back. Rane is getting red in the face now! Merc starts the fight by swinging hard and connecting with Rane's face!!! Rane rears back and returns the blow!! Merc blocks it and punches again!! Rane is a little stunned and Mercury continues to punish him, but the big man will not go down!! On the edge of the ring, Rotten and X have locked up, each of them trying to get the advantage!! Stryke watches the proceedings with interest, but is trying to keep a low profile as some of the greatest WFers of all time slug it out around him!!! Then the air horn hits again!!!

 

"Dope Hat" by Marilyn Manson blares over the speakers as Jay Dawg charges out of the back and into the ring, a kendo stick in his hand!!

 

Curry: And Jay Dawg pulled position number 6!!

 

NTD: It looks like he wants a little insurance in this match, by way of a big stick!!

 

Curry: I can't say as I blame him!!

 

JD dives into the ring, but is met with a series of stomps from Stryke!! The kendo stick flies out of his hand and skitters across the ring, coming to rest right by Rotten and X! X sees it and sends a fast kick into Rotten's gut, breaking the lockup!! With a fast move, X places his foot under the kendo stick and kick it up to his hand!! Once there, he delivers a brutal shot to the top of Rotten's head that staggers him back!! In the center of the ring, Mercury throws himself back into the ropes to get a little momentum to hopefully knock Rane off his feet!! But the big ring veteran catches Merc's arm, spins him around and into a full nelson!!!

Meanwhile, Stryke is all over Jay Dawg, who has yet to get to his feet!! Finally, Stryke pulls JD to his feet and lays in with a nasty chop to the chest!! (Whoo!!) Another!! (Whoo!) One more!! (Whoo!!) Stryke winds up for another, but JD throws up an arm in desperation to block it, and succeeds!! JD follows up with a big headbutt that staggers Stryke back!!

In the center of the ring, Rane pulls Merc off his feet, then powers him down into the mat!!! Rane stands tall in the center of the ring, looking for another victim!!

 

Curry: I'm not sure Rane is interested in eliminating anybody NTD!! It looks like he is just here to maim and destroy!!

 

NTD: And he is so good at it!!!

 

In the far corner, Rotten is on the mat, trying to protect himself from the series of strikes by X with the kendo stick!! X sends in a last, brutal overhead strike and seems satisfied with the destruction he caused! He drops the kendo stick to his side and pulls Rotten up by the hair, then tries to lift him up and over the top rope!! Rotten has enough wits left to hang on for dear life to that top rope!!

On the other side of the ring, JD takes a moment to shake his head and orient himself after the brutal gangland destruction he suffered at the hands of Stryke! But the JL superstar isn't out of it yet!! He is crouched a few feet from JD, winding up ris right leg!! JD focuses on Stryke and starts to move towards him!! But just as he starts to move, Stryke unleashes a massive superkick that catches JD right under the jaw!! He flips back over the top rope and lands hard on the outside, one hand immediately checking to see if his jaw is still located where it is supposed to be!!

 

Curry: That's it!! The first elimination!! Stryke, the rookie, eliminates Jay Dawg with the Heatseeker Superkick!!

 

************

Jay Dawg

Entered: 6th

Left: 1st

Eliminated: Nobody

Eliminated by: Stryke

Left in Ring: X, Stryke, Mercury, Rane, Johnny Rotten

************

 

Stryke is standing at the ropes looking pretty winded and watching Jay Dawg walk slowly up the ramp to the back. He is laughing just a little, but stops suddenly when two huge hands grab his legs and lift him up, flipping him over the top rope!! He lands on his feet outside in a ready position, then realizes what that means! He curses to himself and looks back at the ring to see the monstrous Rane standing where he used to be!!

 

************

Stryke

Entered: 2nd

Left: 2nd

Eliminated: Jay Dawg

Eliminated by: Rane

Left in the ring: X, Mercury, Rane, Johnny Rotten

************

 

Curry: And Stryke is gone! But NTD, you have to admit, that was a pretty good showing for his first shot at the WF!!

 

NTD: Indeed it was Curry! I expect good things from this kid!

 

Mercury is getting to his feet on one side of the ring while X is still struggling to get Rotten over. Rane stomps over towards them, tready to lift the both of them out in one fell swoop, but Merc runs at the behemoth and strikes fast and hard with a spinning heel kick that catches Rane in between steps and topples him!! In the corner, Rotten appears to have had enough of this "tossing me out" crap. He locks his legs around the rope and starts a brutal offensive series aimed at X's head and shoulders!!

 

The fans are counting down to the next entrant as Merc pounds away at Rane's face with a series of closed fists and Rotten manages to get X to let go, and drops to the mat.

 

Curry: Who is the next man in the match?

 

NTD: I'm hoping for Neilsen!!!

 

Curry: We'll see in two... one...

 

::Air Horn Blast::

 

Demonic Refusal" by Testament hits the speakers!! The crowd lets loose with a torrent of boos!!!

 

Curry: It's no man at all!! It's The Mistress!!!!

 

NTD: This could be fun!!!

 

The Mistress, whip in her right hand runs down the ramp and dives into the ring!! A quick snap of the whip and it wraps around Mercury's neck!! She flicks her wrist and drags him off Rane, who appears to be nearly out of it in the center of the ring!! Mistress Sarah uses the whip to reel in Mercury, who fights it every inch of the way!! Across the ring, X and Rotten both see the newcomer and Rane in the center of the ring!! Rotten moves in towards Rane as X goes after Sarah!! He charges across the ring and spears he right into next week!! As she falls she lets go of the whip and Mercury immediately starts to unwrap it from his throat!!

Meanwhile, Rotten picks up the discarded kendo stick and goes to work on Rane, who is just starting to get to his hands and knees! Rotten just opens up on Rane with a fast and brutal series of shots that drop the big man right back to the mat!! Rotten doesn't let up though, focusing his attack on the shoulders and ribs of the former champ!!

 

NTD: Rotten is letting Rane have it Curry!! This is vintage Rotten right now, taking every advantage he can get from any situation!!

 

Curry: True enough NTD! But look at Mercury!! He is in a bad way right now!! That extended choking from The Mistress' whip took a lot out of him!!

 

Near Mercury, X is pulling Sarah to her feet. He takes a step back from her and sends a lightning fast kick to her temple that drops her to her knees, dazed from the concussion of the blast!! X starts his dancing, almost hypnotic Capoeira footwork, measuring up The Mistress for another shot!! She shakes her head and lunges to her feet, narrowly avoiding an X kick!! She charges into him, driving them both into the near corner!! She starts punching X, then steps back, and charges in!! X steps aside and lets he shoot between the middle and top ropes, right into the steel post!!

In the center of the ring, Rotten is slowing down on the kendo stick attacks, looking to make more of an impact! He steps back, letting the ever-durable Rane start to push his way to his knees again, then Rotten steps behind him and winds up!! With a huge backswing, Rotten brings his foot up hard into Rane's crotch!! The big man falls forward onto his face!! Rotten lets out a triumphant yell and grabs a handful of hair to pull Rane up to his feet!!

 

::Air Horn Blast::

 

Curry: Another two minutes is up!! Who's next?

 

"Scum of the Earth" by Rob Zombie begins to play!! Another chorus of boos floods the arena floor as the Nuclear One himself, Fallout charges down to the ring!!

 

NTD: Look out world, here comes the Light-Heavyweight Champion!! He has really been on a tear lately hasn't he Curry!!

 

Curry: Right... except for losing the Hardcore-Gamer's Belt and the Tag Belt, he has been invincible...

 

NTD: Do I detect a note of sarcasm in your voice?

 

Curry: Nah....

 

Fallout makes it to the ring and dives in... heading straight for Rotten!!! He tackles him hard and both men begin to brawl around the ring, throwing fast punches with a real hatred!!

On the other side of the ring, Sarah slumps to the mat, he left hand holding her right shoulder!! X, a little winded from the fast action so far, takes a second to rest against the ropes! But that is just the opening Mercury was looking for!! He charges across the ring and throws a hard clothesline at X's face!! But the Bastard sees it just in time!! He throws himself back and over the top rope!! Mercury catches just a little of X with the clotheline, but manages to throw on the brakes, keeping himself from flying out over the top rope!! X wants him gone though and follows through with his flip, catching Mercury wiith both feet, nailing him on the back of the head and dragging him over the top!! Merc collapses hard to the mat outside the ring as X uses his hold on the top rope to flip himself back up, over and into the ring!!!

 

Curry: My God, what a maneuver by X!!!

 

NTD: That has to be one of the most spectacular eliminations I have ever seen!!

 

************

Mercury

Entered: 3rd

Left: 3rd

Eliminated: Nobody

Eliminated by: X

Left in Ring: X, Rane, Johnny Rotten, The Mistress, Fallout

************

 

In the ring, Fallout and Rotten have managed to make it to their feet, but are still brawling away!!! It is intense! Both men have the other by the hair and using their other hands to wail away on their opponent's face and head!! Fallout pushes Rotten up against the ropes, and really starts to pound away, trying to tip him up and over!! IN the background, Rane is finally getting to his feet!! Fallout rears back as far as he can and sends a headbutt in at Rotten!! Rotten returns the favor!! There is blood everywhere as both men's noses start to gush!! A kick by Rotten ensures that Fallout lets go for just a second! But that is enough as Rotten steps around Fallout and tries to lock in a choke hold on him!! But Fallout is too fgresh and too fast!! He grabs Rotten's arm spins, coming face-to-face with Rotten!! On instinct, Fallout pulls Rotten into a front facelock, steps to the side to get a little clear of the ropes, then jumps back, planting Rotten's face into the mat with the Meltdown!!!!

 

NTD: Meltdown on Rotten!!! Meltdown on Rotten!!!

 

Curry: That will be hard to come back from!!

 

Rane is on his feet now, as is X. The Mistress is still nursing a hurt shoulder and trying to regain some feeling in it before re-entering the fray! Fallout peels Rotten off the mat and hurls him at the ropes!! Rotten flips up and over, landing on his back outside the ring!! Fallout is jubilant for a moment before Rane grabns him by the back of the neck... lifts him up... and chokeslams him face-first out of the ring!!!

 

NTD: Damn!!! What a display of power by the big man!!

 

Curry: Two eliminations in less that five seconds!!!

 

************

Johnny Rotten

Entered: 5th

Left: 4th

Eliminated: Nobody

Eliminated by: Fallout

Left in the Ring: X, Rane, The Mistress, Fallout

************

************

Fallout

Entered: 8th

Left: 5th

Eliminated: Johnny Rotten

Eliminated by: Rane

Left in Ring: X, Rane, The Mistress

************

 

Rane is obviously hurt as he slumps against the ropes. X sees this and runs at the ropes across the ring from Rane, bouncing off and rocketing towards the monster!! Finally, taking a deep breath, Rane stands up straight and turns around... right into a massive missile dropkick from X!!!! Rane falls back against the ropes as X hits the mat!! Rane is almost over, but his incredible bulk and low center of gravity keep him in the ring!! On the outside, Rotten is leaving the ringside area, but Fallout sees Rane's predicament and decides to get a little revenge!! He hops up onto the ring apron, grabs Rane's arms and jumps back off the apron, pulling Rane backwards!! In the ring, X grabs a foot in each hand and pushes with all his strength!! Rane tries to fight it off, but between them, Fallout and X have him out of the ring!!

 

NTD: Rane is out!! Rane is out!!!

 

Curry: The big man has been eliminated!!!

 

************

Rane

Entered: 4th

Left 6th

Eliminated: Stryke, Fallout

Eliminated by: X

Left in the ring: X, The Mistress

************

 

X gets to his feet and staggers back... right into the waiting arms of Mistress Sarah!!! She grabs his arm and spins, putting X into an armlock and doubling him over!! The crowd is starting to countdown to the next entrant... She brings her leg up and around in a big axe kick right across the neck of X and driving him hard into the mat!!!

 

Curry: The Refusal!!! The Mistress just planted X with the Rufusal!!

 

::Air Horn Blast::

 

NTD: And time is up!! Here comes the next wrestler!!!

 

::Crack::

Born Bad by the Gone Jackals hits the arena and the crowd, for the first time in a while, greets the newcomer with a huge cheer!!

 

Curry: It's "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens!!!

 

NTD: This isn't good for the Mistress!! The last time these two were in a ring together, they tore each other apart!! Stevens got the win, but Sarah choked him out after the match!!

 

Grand Slam makes his appearance, running down to the ring!! Inside, Sarah looks like she has seen a ghost!! Without a shirt it is easy to see the welts from the brutal whip shots she delivered to Grand Slam last week are just starting to fade!! He jumps to the ring apron and steps over the tope rope, his eyes staring holes through The Mistress!! She backs off a little, leaving X near the ropes and flat on his face. Grand Slam doesn't give her a chance to beg off though and goes on the offensive right away!! He lays into Sarah with a wicked knife-edge chop!!

 

Curry: Can I get a Whoo!! from the congregation!!!

 

Another!! (Whoo!!) One more for good measure!! (Whoo!!) Sarah is backed into a corner and slumped over in pain! Grand Slam grabs one arm and powers her across the ring! She blasts back first into the opposite turnbuckles and hangs there like a scarecrow! Grand Slam stalks across the ring to the cheers of the fans!! He pulls Sarah out of the corner and into a front facelock, throws her arm over the back of his neck, grabs and handful of tights and throws her up and over with a devastating snap suplex!! Sarah hits the mat and lays there, obviously stunned by the ferocity of the attack! Grand Slam surveys the situation. X is still getting to his feet, Sarah is nearly out in the center of the ring and he's got another 45 seconds or so before the next person comes in. With a smile, he raises his right arm in the air and spins it around!!

 

Curry: That's the signal for the Walk-Off!! He's going to try and put Sarah out of it right now!!

 

NTD: That's a dumb move Curry Man!! He should just pick her up and eliminate her!!

 

The fans go nuts for the signal and start to cheer like banshees!! Grand Slam pulls Sarah off the mat and into a standing head-scissors, hooks both arms, takes a deep breath... then falls over stunned by a shot from the kendo stick!!

 

NTD: X hit Grand Slam with the kendo stick to stop the Walk-Off!! Now that is strategy!!

 

Curry: What kind of strategy is that? One less person in the ring is one person closer to the end of the match!!

 

NTD: That's true, but X has been in there a while, and he has taken a lot of damage! He needs to keep the fresher guys like Grand Slam distracted by someone else as long as he can so he can get a few breaths!!

 

All three of them are down in the ring! X is recovering the fastest, pulling himself up by the ring ropes. Sarah is starting to come around in the center of the ring while Grand Slam is still on the mat, both hands wrapped around his head and his feet kicking from the pain of the nasty shot to the head!! The crowd starts the countdown!! X makes it to his feet, starts towards Grand Slam...

 

::Air Horn Blast::

 

"Let the bodies hit the floor... "

"Let the bodies hit the floor..."

"Let the bodies hit the floor..."

"Let the bodies hit the..."

 

Suddenly, two symbols crash and the voice shouts, "Flooooooooooooooooorrrrr!"

 

The crowd erupts as Sacred appears on the entrance ramp and jogs down to the ring!! X sees who is coming and lets out an audible sigh, then starts to dance around, getting ready for a fight!!

 

NTD: I guess X was hoping for someone else Curry!!

 

Curry: I don't care who your friends are NTD; in this match, everybody is equal!! Besides, the last person I want to see in this match is the reigning US Champion!! He has been on a roll lately that is unparalleled in the history of the league!!

 

Sacred steps into the ring and faces off with X!! The Bastard looks tired and it shows in his Capoeira steps. They are slower than normal, more deliberate. Sacred eyes him carefully, then steps in to grab X!! But the ICTV Champion is on the ball, and steps away from Sacred's arms! Fast kick to the ribcage, another kick to the throat and an open handed strike to the side of the head leaves Sacred a little dazed!! X bounces a round a little, waiting... Sacred swings, trying to nail X in the head, but The Bastard drops to the mat, and scissor sweeps Sacred right off his feet!!

Elsewhere in the ring, Grand Slam has pulled himself to his feet and is standing unsteadily in the corner. There is a small cut above his right eye that is seeping just a little blood. The Mistress is also back to her feet, but in the corner across from Grand Slam. She is eyeing him warily, trying to keep track of all three men in the ring.

 

NTD: Look at that!! Grand Slam is busted wide open!!

 

Curry: You've got to be kidding! I've had worse cuts shaving!

 

Without thinking, totally on automatic pilot, X pops to his feet, scissors Sacred's left arm, claps once and falls back!! Scared lets out a loud scream as X locks in the Floorgasm!!! The crowd is booing!! Grand Slam sees what is happening and moves towards sacred and X!! Sarah takes a stuttering step to intercept!! X pops back to his feet!! The Mistress grabs up her whip again!! Grand Slam grabs X from behind in a waist lock, shakes him a little to unwrap X's foot from Sacred's arm, then powers him up and over with a big-time German Suplex!!! X crashes into the mat!! Grand Slam pops back to his feet, alert and ready, but The Mistress attacks from behind, lashing him with the whip from four feet away!! The Heavy Hitter arches his back and falls to his knees, one hand immediately trying to find the source of the pain and eliminate it! Sacred is still on the mat cradling his left arm and shoulder! X is collapsed in a heap across the ring!! The crowd starts to countdown to the next entrance!! Sarah winds up her whip and takes another shot at Grand Slam, this time catching him on the back of the right shoulder and splitting the skin a little!!

 

::Air Horn Blast::

 

The speakers erupt with the roar of a lion followed by Guns and Roses "Welcome to the Jungle." The crowd isn't sure how to react, so they settle on a loud cheer for the returning Neilsen of the Jungle!! He rockets down to the ring, looking like a black and blue guided missile!!

 

NTD: Yes!! This is a great time for Neilsen to come into the match!! Everybody has been beaten up a little and his style is so perfect for taking advantage of that!!

 

Curry: One problem with that!! We still have another five entrants to go, including the rest of the Midnight Carnival and the leader of the Clan, Thoth!!

 

NTD: Bah!! That means nothing to the MotherF**kin' King of MY Jungle!!

 

Curry: Yikes... and you were doing so well...

 

In the ring, X has rolled to the ropes nearest the announcer's table and hooked an arm over the bottom rope. He is out of breath and sweating profusely, showing the brutal contest he has been in since the start!! Sarah has closed with Grand Slam and is using the whip to choke Grand Slam, trying to cut off his oxygen supply!! Sacred is trying hard to get to his feet, his left arm is hanging limply from the shoulder! Neilsen slides into the ring and pops to his feet, looking for a kill!! He sets his sights on the only one standing, The Mistress!! She is intent on choking out Grand Slam, and never sees the Jungle King sneak around behind her! He sends a nasty shot into the back of her head that causes her to stagger forward and drop the whip! He grabs her arm and spins her around! Kick to the stomach! He pulls her into a front facelock, lets out a roar, twists her head around onto his shoulder and drops to his rear, nailing the Neilsen McTwist!! Sarah drops to the mat like a rag doll!!

Meanwhile, Grand Slam pushes himself to his feet, staggering away from the choke and trying to find a chance to catch a breath!! Sacred is finally back to his feet and shaking his head, trying to clear away the cobwebs when Grand Slam bumps into him from behind!! Sacred doesn't hesitate, sending a hard elbow into Grand Slam's stomach, doubling the big man over!! Sacred grabs him over the left arm and pulls the Heavy Hitter into a front facelock!! Sacred jumps a little in the air and kicks his legs, falling forward and driving Grand Slam into the mat face first!! Both men hit the mat hard, Sacred immediately clutching at his shoulder again!!

 

NTD: I'm not sure that Cruel Fate was such a good idea Curry!! That took a lot out of Sacred as well as dropping Grand Slam for a few minutes!!

 

Curry: I don't think Sacred thought about it NTD!! I think that was totally on instinct! This match is so chaotic and so brutal that you almost have to go on autopilot and let your years and years of training take over!!

 

Sacred pulls himself painfully to his feet. The Mistress and Grand Slam are both down on opposite sides of the ring! X is still clinging to the bottom rope catching his breath. He looks a ton better now, his breathing is slower and looks more aware of his surroundings! Neilsen is on his feet and reaching fro Sarah's limp body, trying to pull her up to eliminate her, but he steps back and nearly trips over one of X's legs!! In a rage, he turns and starts to lay the boot in, pounding away on a prone X!! Across the ring, Sacred pulls his aching body to its feet and sees Neilsen across the ring right at the ropes!! He walks across the ring and puts an arm between Neilsen's legs and lifts, catching the Jungle King by surprise and flipping him over the top rope!! X thes the opportunity to get the heck out of dodge, rolling out of the ring under the bottom rope! But, with cat-like grace, Neilsen grabs the top rope and twists in the air, landing on the ring apron!! With a snake-like strike, he lances out his right arm and drives the fingers into Sacred's left shoulder!! The Scared One lets out a yell of pain!! Neilsen pulls on the top rope and rolls into the ring across Sacred's back, landing behind him!! Sacred starts to turn, only to get caust with a fast superkick from Neilsen that sends him back first against the ropes!! The crowd is starting to countdown to the next WF Superstar!! Neilsen jumps in the air and sends a brutal spinning heel kick right into Sacred's throat!! With a groan, the Sacred One flips over the top rope and falls to the ground outside!!!

 

Curry: Neilsen just eliminated the US Champion!! Sacred is gone!!

 

************

Sacred

Entered: 10th

Left: 7th

Eliminated: Nobody

Eliminated by: Neilsen of the Jungle

Left in the ring: X, The Mistress, Grand Slam, Neilsen of the Jungle

************

 

::Air Horn Blast::

 

The PA System comes alive with a growling sound from a dog, then two barks.

 

"I had to hussle, my back to the wall, ashy knuckles"

 

--- Record's Scratching ---

 

The crowd just goes nuts with heel heat as Perfect Bo steps out from behind the curtain and starts the long, slow walk to the ring. In the ring, Neilsen sees him coming and gets set for a bull rush! Sarah pulls herself up in the corner, shaking her head like it is full of whipped cream. Outside, Sacred departs the ringside area with a scowl and X is digging around under the ring for something! Back in the ring, Grand Slam pushes himself up in the corner by the entrance ramp!! Bo steps into the ring, eyes locked on Neilsen, rage seething in his eyes. The Jungle King is ready for anything, and is calling Bo out!! Enraged, the Perfect One starts to stride forward, but Grand Slam leaps out of the corner and tackles Bo from behind!!! Neilsen starts to laugh until Sarah drops to a knee behind him and brings her arm up, delivering the aptly named Women's Wile!! Clutching himself, Neilsen drops to the mat as a ticked off Mistress goes to work on Neilsen!! Outside the ring, X seems to have found what he was looking for! He gets back to his feet and drags an ice shovel out from under the ring!! He dives into the ring, dragging the shovel behind him!!

On the other side of the ring, Grand Slam has Bo in the corner and is stomping a mudhole in him and walking it dry!! The crowd is going nuts as he pulls Bo back to his feet and lays in a hard chop!! (Whoo!!) X sees this and makes a bee line for Grand Slam, wielding the shovel over his head like an axe!!! Grand Slam rears back for another shot, but Bo just got to this party, and it ain't time to leave yet!! He grabs Grand Slam by the throat with two huge and and spins around, sending the Heavy Hitter into the corner instead!! But X can't pull up in time and delivers a hard shot to Bo's back with the flat side of the shovel!! Bo arches his back and staggers out of the corner!! X looks upset, and focuses his rage on Grand Slam!!

 

NTD: Uh-Oh!! Bo is not going to be happy about that!!!

 

Curry: Is Bo ever happy about anything?

 

NTD: True, but this is the worst thing in the world to Bo!! This is betrayal!!

 

On the other side of the ring, Sarah pulls Neilsen up to his feet by the hair. She swings with a hard right, connecting to his temple!! She winds up gain, but the Jungle King blocks it and sends in a strike of his own!! She staggers back a bit, but doesn't fall!! Neilsen swings again, but it is Sarah's turn to block!! She pulls Neilsen into her elbow, dazing him momentarily!! Then, she pushes him away, axes her leg up and hooking Neilsen around the neck with her leg, presses her foot against his chest, then sits down. Neilsen bounces a little when he hits the mat then lies still!! Sarah takes a second to recover, then pulls the Jungle King off the mat!!

 

Curry: This is getting out of control NTD!! There is a lot of history between some of the people on that ring and it will get out of hand real fast!!

 

NTD: But this is Clusterf**k!! Every man or woman for themselves!! Friends and enemies are a moot point Curry!!

 

On the other side of the ring, X turns the blade of the shovel so the sharp edge is down, the swings down hard at Grand Slam!! As the assembled crowd gasps in horror, Grand Slam barely avoids death by dropping down to a sitting position!! The shovel nails the tope turnbuckle, splitting it wide open!!! Nearby, Bo is getting his bearings. With an evil sneer, he sets his sights on X!! He takes a step, then lashes out with a hard right hook that catches The Bastard right in the face!! X falls straight back, dropping the ice shovel to the mat where it sits for a second until Bo kicks it out of the ring!! Grand Slam sees Bo going after X and decides that there are bigger fish to fry!! He starts across the ring after The Mistress!!!

The Mistress has pulled Neilsen to his feet and whipped him into the corner!! Once there, she sends a series of lightning-quick kicks and punches into his chest and stomach, keeping the King of the MotherF**kin' Jungle pacified for a second or two!! The crowd is yelling out 7... 6... 5... The Mistress climbs to the top rope, pulling Neilsen up to the second rope!! She gets him in a front facelock...

 

::Air Horn Blast::

 

The words "So says the Clan" are whispered through the arena. The crowd lets loose another torrent of boos and jeers as At The Drive In's "Enfilade" begins to play!!

 

NTD: Things are about to get real interesting, 'cause here comes Thoth!!!

 

The leader of the clan, sans the black robes, steps out onto the stage. Taking his time and walking with purpose, he strides down to the ring...

 

Curry: Thoth looks as determined as I have ever seen him NTD!!

 

NTD: And why not? This match is important to Thoth!! This is a great stepping stone to the main event and a chance at Thugg's belt!!

 

Curry: True enough! And don't forget Ladies and Gentlemen, the World Title Match is coming up right after Clusterf**k!! HVT defends his title against the Suicide King!!

 

Sarah is about to jump forward and bury Neilsen when Grand Slam runs into the ropes!! The Mistress loses her footing and starts to fall, but lets go of Neilsen and uses her hands to catch herself! She ends up in a sitting position on the top rope! Neilsen fall forward, planting himself face-first into the mat!! Grand Slam steps up to the top rope, pulls Sarah up in front of him and into a Full Nelson!!

 

NTD: Oh No!! He wouldn't!!

 

Grand Slam and The Mistress are standing on the top rope, unsteady by solid!! With a deep breath, Grand Slam pulls Sarah up and throws her down with the Grand Slam Face-first Full Nelson Slam!!! She rockets out of the ring and nails the steel ring steps face first!! She flops limply to the ground and lays there, eyes closed and a trickle of blood coming from her mouth!!

 

************

The Mistress

Entered: 7th

Left: 8th

Eliminated: Nobody

Eliminated by: "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens

Left in the ring: X, Grand Slam, Neilsen of the Jungle, Perfect Bo, Thoth

************

 

Grand Slam looks quickly behind him and sees Neilsen still on the mat! With a shout out to the fans, Grand Slam jumps backwards off the top rope, flipping once in the air and landing a devastating moonsault... on nothing!! Neilsen rolled out of the way just in time!!

 

Curry: What a gamble by the Heavy Hitter!!

 

NTD: I can't believe what he did to The Mistress!! Curry, I'll be right back... (sound of a set of headphones being dropped)

 

Curry: I don't think Grand Slam saw what happened to Sarah!! His focus went immediately back to the match!! I don't think he saw The Mistress impact the stairs like that!!

 

While all of that was happening, Bo pulls X to his feet and into a standing head-scissors! He grabs X by the waist and flips him up to sit on his shoulders. But just as he is about to drive him down, Thoth dives into the ring and kicks Bo right in the kidney!! With a heave, Bo finishes the Powerbomb, but at only about half-strength! X hits the mat hard and skids to a stop in the corner!! Thoth steps to Bo's side and sends a fast kick to Bo's stomach, doubling him over!! Quickly, the Cannite has Bo set up for a pumphandle slam, but at the top he lets Bo fall over his shoulder, and falls back to the mat himself, completeing the innovative Pumphandle Suplex!!

Thoth rolls back to his feet and looks around the ring. In his corner, Bo and X are recovering and in the other, Neilsen is pushing himself to his feet and looking at Grand Slam like a tiger looks at an injured antelope. Thoth pulls Bo to his feet and into a front facelock. But Bo isn't ready to give up yet!! He grabs Thoth around the waist and flips him over, nailing a powerful Northern Lights Suplex!!! Both men hit the mat hard and don't move!! X is on his feet again and looking at the two big men on the mat in front of him! He turns and hops up to the top rope. Thoth is starting to push his way up! X is readying himself for a leap... but Bobby Riley comes charging down the ramp, flies up the steps and pushes X off the top rope and into the ring!!! Immediately refs come flying out of the woodwork to keep Riley out of the ring!!

On the other side, outside of the ring, NTD, pantless as always but wearing a very fashionable pair of black sequined boxers, is hovering over Sarah and calling for EMTs!! Finally, they appear from backstage carrying a backboard and neck brace!! NTD makes sure they have the situation under control and heads back to the announce table!

In the ring, Neilsen is on his feet and pulling Grand Slam up! Once to his feet, Neilsen pulls him in close and wraps his arm across Grand Slam's chest, looking for the Book-End, but the Heavy Hitter has other plans!! He gets his arm free and wraps them around Neilsen's waist!! With a stomp of his foot, he sends the Jungle King over his head with a belly-to-belly suplex!! Neilsen hits the ring ropes and falls straight down, landing on his neck and back!! Grand Slam collapses to the mat, gasping for breath!!

 

Curry: This match is taking a lot out of all the competitors!!

 

NTD: Well, this is a long and brutal match with very few chances to rest!!

 

::Air Horn Blast::

 

NTD: Gee, I wonder who this is...

 

"Eye of the Tiger" echoes around the arena!! The refs let Riley go and he climbs into the ring! He goes right after X, pounding the ICTV Champ's head into the mat over and over!! Thoth is on his feet. He stomps down hard on Bo's head several times, pulls him off the mat, hooks both arms and drops him back with a hard double-arm DDT!! Thoth gets back to his feet and pulls Bo up! He winds up, pushing Bo away before bringing him back hard, trying to get him out of the ring, but as he pushes the Thug, his elbow connects with Riley's arm, jostling his grip enough to let Bo go!! The Perfect One doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth and runs across the ring!! Thoth is ticked and, without resetting his feet, snaps a roundhouse kick that collides with Bobby Riley's head!! X sees an opportunity and clotheslines Riley right out of the ring!! Riley hits the ground hard and is pissed!!! He tries to climb back into the ring, going after Thoth, but those same refs are there to restrain him!!

 

************

Bobby Riley

Entered: 14th

Left: 9th

Eliminated: Nobody

Eliminated by: X

Left in the ring: X, Grand Slam, Neilsen of the Jungle, Perfect Bo, Thoth

************

 

Bobby Riley slowly goes backstage, but he stares daggers at Thoth the whole time!! Thoth turns his attention to a battered and tired X! X tries to get his legs and feet moving, but they are like lead now!! Thoth smiles and starts to close!! On the other side of the ring, Neilsen rolls out under the bottom rope and staggers towards the announcer's table!! Bo sees his old nemesis Grand Slam pushing himself up! Bo takes advantage and sends a brutal right hook into Grand Slam's temple that staggers the Heavy Hitter!! Looking across the ring, Bo sees Thoth grab X and whip him hard across the ring!! Bounce back, Thoth charges across the ring, catches X's arm and nails a falling arm drag that leaves both men down just off the center of the ring!! Bo sees the opening and whips Grand Slam all the way across the ring and into the opposite turnbuckles!! The Heavy Hitter goes in hard chest first!! He staggers back, both hands holding his sternum!! Bo charges across the ring after him, nailing an avalanche into the corner!! The impact cauises the already split top turnbuckle to come off, exposing the metal linkage beneath!! With a sadistic smile, Bo sees the metal and grabs a handful of Grand Slam's hair!!

Outside the ring , Neilsen walks over to Curry and NTD's table. He reaches out and grabs NTD's water bottle, sucking down most of it in one long drink!!

 

NTD: Hey, you jerk, that's...

 

Curry: Umm, that may have been the wrong thing to say.

 

NTD: umm... all yours now... Neilsen of my... err... the Jungle...

 

Curry: Uh-Oh....

 

Neilsen hears everything NTD says, calmly finishes drinking the water, then starts nailing NTD over the head with the empty container!! NTD reacts like he is being shot, even though it is just a flimsy plastic bottle!! Finally, NTD falls off his chair and Neilsen grabs Curry's water. The Lord of the Jungle turns his attention back to the ring as he enjoys a refreshing drink of cold water!

 

In the ring, Thoth is back on his feet and kicking the living crap out of X!! The Bastards appears to have nothing left in the tank and is just rolling on the mat!! Meanwhile, Bo pul;ls Grand Slam's head back and slams it hard into the exposed turnbuckle!! He pulls it back and slams it again!! Again, again!! He pulls Grand Slam's head back and shows the crowd the effects of his attack!! Grand Slam is bleeding from a huge cut over his eye, and the blood is flowing freely down his face!! The crowd is starting to chant along with the countdown clock on the IGNTron... 5... 4... 3... Not too far away, Thoth bends over to pick X up, but The Bastard has one trick left in his book!! He throws his legs up and scissors Thoth's neck, trying to pull him over to the mat! But the Clan Leader is just too fresh and pulls X off the mat, then spins around until X is hanging over the top rope!! He drops X on the rope, grabs his legs and flips him out of the ring!!!

 

Curry: X has finally been eliminated!! What a show by The Bastard!! NTD, I don't think anybody gave X a chance in this match, but he proved a lot of things to a lot of people!!!

 

NTD: urkffggg...

 

Curry: Sorry, my partner is still suffering the effects of that attack by Neilsen... sheesh...

 

************

X

Entered: 1st

Left: 10th

Eliminated: Rane, Bobby Riley

Eliminated by: Thoth

Left in the ring: Grand Slam, Neilsen, Perfect Bo, Thoth

************

 

::Air Horn Blast::

 

Curry: Well, we know who this will be!! Since El Luchadore Magnifico won the 16th spot in a match last week, this can only be...

 

"Battleflag" by the Lo-Fidelity All-Stars blasts around the arena as Edwin MacPhisto makes his appearance to a huge roar from the crowd!!!

 

Curry: The Crown Prince of Flash and Panache himself!!!!

 

NTD: My head hurts...

 

He charges down the ring, a baseball bat in his hand!! When he nears the ring, he yells out "Mark!!!" Bo looks over at the entering wrestler and sees him toss the baseball bat to Mark Stevens, who catches it in his right hand!! Edwin slides in under the bottom rope and goes right after Thoth!!! In the corner, Bo has a brief "Oh Crap" moment before Grand Slam brings the baseball bat upside his thug head!! Bo steps away, but the Heavy Hitter is on fire!! He sends bat shot after bat shot into Bo's head and midsection!! He turns his attack to drive Bo sideways into the ropes!! Bo is bleeding from the nose and mouth and he appears to be all but out of it!! Outside, Neilsen finishes Curry's water and slides back into the ring, picking up the discarded kendo stick as he goes!!

Edwin spears Thoth right out of his boots as the Clannite turns around from depositing X on the outside!! Edwin is on top of Thoth blasting away with rights and lefts!!!

On the other side of the ring, Grand Slam has Bo right where he wants him!! He takes a step back, winds up and swings for the fences!! He connects right to the side of Bo's head, flipping him up and over the top rope!!! Grand Slam has no time to celebrate however, as Neilsen clips him from behind with the kendo stick, dropping the Heavy Hitter to his knees!!

 

************

Perfect Bo

Entered: 12th

Left: 12th

Eliminated: Nobody

Eliminated by: "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens

Left in the ring: Grand Slam, Neilsen, Thoth, Edwin MacPhisto

************

 

NTD: This could be bad for everyone else!! The tag champs are in the ring together, and in about 45 seconds, their partner El Luchadore Magnifico will be joining them!!

 

Curry: Welcome back to the land of the living NTD. Any other thoughts?

 

NTD: Yeah, its "the pain".

 

Curry: What?

 

NTD: From the beginning of the match, you asked me what "it" was?

 

Curry: OK, now I am really confused...

 

NTD: I said the JLers could really bring it, and you asked what it was. It is the pain. The JLers can really bring the pain.

 

Curry: Oh my God, no more bumps for you....

 

Neilsen takes a step back and lets Grand Slam get to his feet, baseball bat still in hand!! He gestures to him with the Kendo stick, then swings hard at the Heavy Hitter's face!! Grand Slam blocks with the barrel of the bat, twists his wrists and brings the bat in at Neilsen's head! Neilsen ducks back and swings low at Grand Slam's legs!! Grand Slam swings down hard, knocking the kendo stick aside!! Neilsen rolls away and pops back to his feet!! Grand Slam closes fast, feints at the head of Neilsen then drops to one knee and tries to take the Jungle King's legs out from under him!! Neilsen flips forward over a crouched Grand Slam and swings down right at Grand Slam's back!! But Stevens lets his bat continue the swing, bringing his arms up and knocking Neilsen's blow away from his back!! Grand Slam pushes himself to his feet and turns to face the Jungle King who drops the kendo stick and smiles at the bigger man!!

 

NTD: What the hell is this? A fencing tournament? Get back to wrestling you clods!!

 

The crowd, captivated by this fast weapons prowess, lets out a huge cheer!! Grand Slam, his face covered in blood, glances around at the crowd... and Neilsen makes him pay for it with a fast kick to the crotch!!

 

Curry: That was totally uncalled for!!

 

Meanwhile, Edwin pulls Thoth to his feet and goes for the "Cocktail O'Shame" with a fast slap to the right side of the Clannites' face, a fast swipe at the left, then he winds up, looking for the final humiliating strike to end Thoth's chances, but the Clan Leader steps aside and shoots his hand out fast, catching MacPhisto in the throat right under his chin!! Edwin doesn't give up though!! he drops to one knee, wiggles his hips a little, sticks out his tongue at his opponent and delivers The World's Most Irritating Palm Strike right to the jumblies of Thoth!!!

 

NTD: Good grief! Haven't we seen enough scrotum smashings today?? This is ridiculous!!

 

Curry: And if it happened to Edwin?

 

NTD: I would cheer, but that is different!

 

In the other corner of the ring, Neilsen pulls Grand Slam up into the corner and starts sending punch after punch into the Heavy Hitter's head, trying to open the cut up more!!

 

Curry: Well, here we go!! Time is up and now the last man puts in an appearance!!

 

::Air Horn Blast::

 

A Mexican voice shouts out, "UNO! DOS! TRES! CUATRO!". From there, "Mission Trip to Mexico" by Bunch of Believers is blasted through the PA!! El Luchadore Magnifico charges down to the ring!!! He jumps to the ring apron and flips over the top rope, landing right beside Neilsen!! ELM pulls the jungle King off his stablemate and starts firing punch after punch into the Jungle King's skull!!

 

Curry: The newest member of the Midnight Carnival is here, and he is en fuego!!!!

 

On the other side of the ring, Edwin is struggling to maintain an offense against Thoth!! Backed into a corner, the Clan Leader is fighting like a caged animal!! Edwin keeps trying to grab a handful of hair, or an arm, but Thoth won't let him!! Finally, Edwin resorts to a fast sweep of the leg which staggers Thoth long enough for Edwin to get him out of the corner and whip him across the ring into the ropes!! Bounce back, Edwin is looking for the Spinebuster, but Thoth suprises him by jumping in the air and nailing Edwin across the face with a high leg clothesline!! Both men hit the mat hard, but Thoth sees his opportunity to put away the Mac Daddy!! He pushes himself painfully to his feet and drags Edwin up!! After a couple of softening up blows, Thoth lifts Edwin off the mat, turns him around... WHAM!!!

 

NTD: The Riot of the Blood!!!! That is the end of Edwin for now!!

 

Curry: I have a feeling you may be right NTD!!

 

Thoth pulls Edwin off the mat. MacPhisto can hardly stand!! Thoth winds him up and hurls him at the ropes, one hand on the back of Edwin;s neck to guide him up, over, and out!! Edwin drops to the mat and the ref outside signals the elimination!! Thoth drops to the mat to catch his breath after his encounter with the Carnival's Leader!!

 

************

Edwin MacPhisto

Entered: 15th

Left: 11th

Eliminated: Nobody

Eliminated by: Thoth

Left in the ring: Grand Slam, Neilsen, Thoth, El Luchadore Magnifico

************

 

Curry: One more man to go, and this match changes format into a no-DQ Triple Threat match!! The winner of the pinfall there will become the number one contender to the World Heavyweight Title!!

 

NTD: And every man in that ring right now would give his eye teeth to win this match!!! Everybody wants a shot at the title!!

 

ELM sees what is happening to Edwin across the ring and tries to get there, but Neilsen grabs his foot and trips him!! ELM spins around and pops to his feet!! Grand Slam is on the mat near the turnbuckles almost out of it!! He is still bleeding badly and his face is the proverbial crimson mask!! ELM pulls Neilsen to his feet and blasts him with a series of knife-edge cho

[Guest crusen86]

ELM sees what is happening to Edwin across the ring and tries to get there, but Neilsen grabs his foot and trips him!! ELM spins around and pops to his feet!! Grand Slam is on the mat near the turnbuckles almost out of it!! He is still bleeding badly and his face is the proverbial crimson mask!! ELM pulls Neilsen to his feet and blasts him with a series of knife-edge chops that elicit Whoos from the crowd!! Neilsen is sagging against the turnbuckles now, almost on empty!! ELM sees that Neilsen is ripe for the picking and decides that now is the time!! He pulls Neilsen out of the corner, spins him around and hooks him for the backslide!! On the other side of the ring, Thoth is on his feet!! ELM turns again and runs up the turnbuckles, starts to flip over, but Neilsen throws all of his weight to the side, trying to make ELM go over the rope!! Thoth charges across the ring as Neilsen lets ELM drop right to the top rope!! But the Luchadore is fresh, and manages to land on his feet, on the top rope!! He starts to flip again, but Thoth barrels into Neilsen, causing the Jungle King to lurch back into the ropes and ELM to fall off the rope and to the outside, nearly dragging Neilsen with him, but the Jungle King is caught between Thoth and the ropes and is going nowhere!! The ref makes the signal and ELM lets loose with a long string of curses in Spanish!!

 

************

El Luchadore Magnifico

Entered: 16th

Left: 13th

Eliminated: Nobody

Eliminated by: Neilsen of the Jungle

Left in the ring: Grand Slam, Neilsen of the Jungle, Thoth

************

 

Curry: Here we go boys and girls!! From here on out, this is a triple threat match!!

 

NTD: Don't forget though, that this is no-DQ!!!

 

Thoth is in the best shape, relatively speaking, and pulls Neilsen into the center of the ring!! He pushes the Jungle King into a kneeling position, then runs at the ropes!! Bounce back, Thoth drives a hard knee into the back of Neilsen's head!! Neilsen is flattened on the mat!! Grand Slam pulls himself to his feet in the corner. His hair in front is matted to his head by blood, and the camera catches a spot on the mat where the Heavy Hitter left a huge puddle of blood!! A ref dives into the ring, ready to adjudicate any falls just as Thoth drops on top of Neilsen...

1... 2... 3NO!! Kickout by Neilsen!! Thoth pushes himself painfully to his feet, pulling Neilsen up with him! Irish Whip and Neilsen flies into the ropes, bounce back, Neilsen ducks under a clothesline, throws on the brakes, spins around and catches Thoth right in the gut with a hard toe kick that bends him over!! Front facelock by Neilsen, twist, stunner... WHAM!! Thoth hits the mat hard!!!

 

NTD: Neilsen McTwist!!! Its all over!!! Its all over!!!

 

Curry: He's going for the cover!!

 

Neilsen drops on top of Thoth, hooks the leg...

1... 2... 3NO!!! Grand Slam dives in and makes the save with a fast stomp to Neilsen's head!! Neilsen rolls to his feet as Grand Slam turns around!! Thoth has just enough left to roll out of the ring!! Neilsen and Grand Slam start exchanging right and left hands!!!

 

Curry: It's a brawl now!! There is nothing scientific about this now!!!

 

NTD: It looks like Grand Scam and Neilsen are trying to kill each other!!

 

Outside the ring, Thoth is slowly recovering, shaking his head and trying to stand!! He is on his feet and trying to get in the ring when a figure streaks down the entrance ramp and tackles him right off the apron!!!

 

NTD: What is this?? This isn't right!!

 

Curry: Its Bobby Riley!! He was ticked at the way Thoth helped eliminate him and wants some payback!!!

 

NTD: Stupid no-DQ matches!!!

 

In the ring, Neilsen gets the advantage!! He grabs Grand Slam's arm and whips him across the ring!! Bounce back, toe kick by Neilsen doubles the Heavy Hitter over!! Neilsen pulls Grand Slam into a front facelock, twists... but just as he is about to drop Grand Slam for the stunner, the Heavy Hitter pushes Neilseon off and into the ropes!!!

Outside, Thoth is extricating himself from Riley and trying to get into the ring!!!

Inside, Neilsen bounces back, hard kick from Grand Slam rioght in Neilsen;s breadbasket!! The Jungle King is doubled over!! Grand Slam grabs him and pulls him into a standing head-scissors!! He raises his right arm and signals for the Walk-Off!!

Outside, Thoth is on the ring apron, but Bobby Rilry isn't finished yet! He grabs The Mistress' whip from where it landed outside the ring and uses it to grab Thoth's legs!! With a quick jerk, Riley causes the Clannite to fall straight down and crack his jaw on the ring apron!!!

In the ring, Grand Slam hooks both Neilsen's arms jumps in the air... WHAM!!!

 

Curry: Walk-Off!!! Walk-Off!!! Walk-Off!!!

 

NTD: This might be it!!!!

 

Grand Slam slowly flips Neilsen over, hooks the leg...

Thoth tries once again to crawl into the ring, but Riley has too good a grip on him!!!

1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!! The ref immediately raises Grand Slam's hand and the crowd spontaneously combusts!!! The arena is quaking as Funyon grabs a mic!!!

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner of Clusterf**k 2002 and number one contender to the IGNWF World Heavyweight Title, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens!!!!!!!

 

Born Bad hits the PA just as Grand Slam collapses to the mat next to Neilsen. The ref is signaling for medical personnel! Outside, Riley, satisfied with his work, walks up the ramp backwards, looking back at the ring. Edwin and ELM rush past him, on their way to the ring to congratulate their partner!!!

 

Curry: What a match!!! Everybody came out here and gave 150% and the fans loved every minute of it!!

 

NTD: I don't like the ending, but, as always, I love the match!!

 

Curry: Ladies and Gentlemen, why don't you take a look at the history between our two warriors for the World Title tonight while we get things cleaned up around here!!

 

Just before the camera cuts to the promo, it focuses on the bloody face of the winner. He is just barely awake and taking a drink of water from a bottle offered to him by ELM. Edwin says something to him, and the Heavy Hitter manages a weak smile, before closing his eyes...

[Guest TheSatanicAngel]

Ow, don't remind me of that faceslam into the stairs ...

[Guest Tod deKindes]

If you want MY opinion, I wanna see a Doomsday Cage Match where the whole roster goes nuts.

[Guest redbaron51]

if you want my opinion, i need a match

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Ahem, NTD vs. Rane from "IGNWF Wreck the Halls 2000" please.

[Secret Agent 0]

Well you wanted NTD vs Rane from Wreck the Halls 2000...................so here it is.

 

______________________________________________

 

NTD comes to the ring with a thong on.

 

Drew comes down crying.

 

They both begin to eat, NTD hit's Drew with a chicken breast. NTD irish whips Drew into the corner.......TIGER DEATH!

 

1..2..3

 

NTD wins.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

What a classic.

[Guest Kibagami]

I wish I could write like that.

 

S.

[Guest whatever37]

Hey... kind of new, but I dug up this old thread, and didn't really know who to ask for these matches... so I'll just post the requests here, and see if anyone [maybe Crusen?] can find these.

 

Axis vs Sacred vs Cyclone Comet: 2 Falls

Z vs "The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs Danny Williams: 2 Falls

Cyclone Comet vs "Grandpappy" Simon Flare: 2/3 Falls

Bobby Riley vs Stubby P. McWeed: Either ladder or cage match... I forget

"Grand Slam" Mark Stevens vs Suicide King: Tournament Finals

Whatever Sacred thinks his best match is.

Whatever Axis thinks his best match is.

 

...I would also like to see Edwin vs Spider Neruka... but I guess that's just gotten lost in the shuffle, or something.

[Guest Suicide King]

As requested, my very favoritest fave match-up, King vs Grand Slam, Genesis 2 Tournament Finals.

 

------------------------

 

As we come back from commercial break we find ourselves in the brightly lit and garishly decorated Midnight Carnival locker room! Grand Slam stands on one side, his leg propped up on a chair as he tightens his knee brace… King stands on the other side, stretching. Edwin stands in the middle with a blender, mixing some manner of bright red girly drink with at least four umbrellas in it. There's a loud knock on the door, breaking the business-like silence that had been present in between whirs of the blender. The King of Hearts answers it, sharing a few unheard words with whoever is on the other side before closing the door and moving over to Stevens…

 

"It's time, Mark," King says. Grand Slam looks up as he clicks the last bit of his knee brace into place. With a nod, he stands.

 

Smiling, Stevens says, "Any last thoughts before I take you to school, King?"

 

King chuckles, "You may have helped train me Mark, but I've picked up a couple of things since then."

 

Mark nods again, approvingly… "Well, tell you what… why don't we go out there, and you can show me some of them? If they're any good, I'll be sure to let your folks know at the parent/teacher conference."

 

"That's big of you Mark." King smirks. "I've already taken the liberty of calling your wife and apologizing in advance for the bad mood you're going to be in after I beat you." Both men break into laughter at that, imagining the dire specter of Mrs. Stevens glaring reproachfully at them…

 

'Well, I guess that's enough trash talking then." Grand Slam grabs his cap and makes his way to the door. Stopping in front of King, Grand Slam raises two clenched fists… "Let's go out there and give em what they paid for, King… let's burn this mother DOWN!" The two men slam fists together HARD as King lets out a "Damned straight!" United in purpose and well prepared to kick some Carny ass, the two men stride out the open doorway… The door closes behind them, leaving Mac Daddy alone with his blender.

 

"Guys? On your way back could you pick me up a bag of crushed ice and some kiwis?"

 

Edwin looks up confusedly, wondering where everyone went…

 

"Guys?"

 

-------------------------------------

 

Immediately the camera cuts back to the announce desk, revealing the ever entertaining duo of NTD and his heterosexual lifemate Curry Man! The New York crowd is packed in like rude, noisy sardines behind them, each and every fan pumped up to a fever pitch by the great night of wrestling they've already witnessed!!

 

Curry begins, "Hello, and welcome back to IGNite, coming to you live from a sold out Madison Square Garden!! And what a night it's been thus far, and it's only going to get better! NTD?"

"Indeed it is so my spicy companion! Tonight eight people have an opportunity at the richest prize in our business, the IGNWF World Title! We've already seen some of the competitors decided as we watched the biggest of the big battle the baddest of the big when the Hville Thugg battled the perennial fan favorite Axis!" NTD barely manages to squeak out in one breath!

"And then," Curry continues, " we were witness to the rebirth of one of the greatest feuds ever to grace our fed, as Neilsen of the Jungle and the one and only Grimedogg threw it down one more time!"

NTD follows, "So we now know the identity of two of Wilson's challengers at the Six-Pack match at Genesis II, but two more are yet to be determined! And if those damned caterwauling Carnies have their way both of them will be members of that eternal frat party known as the Midnight Carnival!"

"Which of course brings us to our next match!" Curry says, excitement creeping into his voice. "This next bout is something really special folks, as the Carnies' most accomplished member takes on its illustrious leader! Former Champ "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens tangles with the Gambling Man! Now as many of you know, Stevens and the King go way back, all the way back to Shawn Michaels' TWA in fact! It was there that the two men met, and it was there that each man honed his unique style! Stevens, the senior of the two, actually helped train the King!"

NTD snorts, "So it's his fault then… in any event, this match should be somewhat entertaining as both men are intimately familiar with all the other's tricks!"

"But in the end there can only be one winner, and I think that it will be the Heavy Hitter tonight!" Curry exclaims. "He's hungrier for the title Wilson took from him, and the Suicide King's Cinderella story ends tonight with a less than happy ending!"

NTD nods, "I agree Curry! The only real question here is will their friendship survive the match? The whole Anarchy situation has added a lot of tension to their friendship, and it will be interesting to see how the two fan favorites deal with one's win… and the other's loss!!"

"Enough speculation for now NTD," Curry interrupts. 'It's time to see which Carny goes on to the big dance!"

 

Funyon stands in the ring, ready to begin his usual introductory spiel…when all the lights go out! A soft female voice whispers, "Midnight Carnival…" and the fans explode!! NTD cries out in indignation, "You've got to be kidding me! They're not even going to bother with separate entrances?!?!?!"

 

The IGNtron flashes blazing white in time to the opening beats of 'Love Rollercoaster", each flash alternating and revealing lettering spelling "Step Right Up." As the guitar begins to play three blue laser lights begin to trace their way around the entire arena, revealing fans in various stages of cheering and celebration… As the words "rollercoaster of love," echo through the arena for the first time, the laser lights flare out into a blue haze across the entrance ramp as Grand Slam and the King of Hearts step out under the IGNtron!!!

 

Curry yells out over the music, "Well, I'd say that it looks like their friendship is doing ok, wouldn't you NTD?"

 

KoH pumps the crowd up, bobbing his head to the music and raising his fists high into the air! On the other side of the ramp the fans have noticed that Stevens wears a Yankees' ballcap tonight and respond accordingly… smiling, the Heavy Hitter removes his hat and throws it into the crowd!! Just then the refrain to the Carnival entrance song arrives, plunging the arena back into darkness as purple strobe lights tear through the house and the blue laser lights spiral wildly, illuminating Stevens and the King in funky staccato bursts as they make their way toward the ring!! The only thing clearly visible in the miasma of light and shadow is the IGNtron, playing half-second clips of classic maneuvers from all the Carnies…

 

"Sweet Jesus, shoot me now," NTD is heard to remark, followed by several seconds of static and struggle… muttered comments are heard, such as "Get off me!" and "Why the hell did you bring a gun?" and of course "I was only kidding! DON'T KILL ME!"

 

The two men enter the ring as their entrance ends and once again the only sound is that of cheering fans… the ref goes to caution both men, who respond with smiles and nods. The ref smiles back, thankful that he'll have an easy match to officiate… he goes to signal for the bell as Stevens removes his jacket and the King removes his vest…

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

"It's go time!" Curry exclaims! "Prepare yourself for an honest-to-God wrestling match folks!"

 

The two men look at each other across the ring and nod. Simultaneously they make their way to the middle of the canvas as the fans begin to pick up in volume… King smirks a little and says something the mics don't quite pick up, but Stevens nods. King reaches out his hand and the two men share a firm handshake!!

 

"This wrestling match," NTD quips, "Will it be beginning after the lovefest in the ring, or sometime later?"

 

Grand Slam and the King separate once again and begin to circle each other warily… arms raised they run together, but King ducks under the Heavy Hitter's outstretched arms, spinning around him and cinching in a rear waistlock! Grand Slam throws an elbow back to dislodge KoH's grip, but the King ducks it… that momentary distraction was all he needed however as Stevens muscles out of the King's grip and spins in place as well, locking a rear waistlock of his own on the Gambling Man! Quickly taking him up and over with an amateur wrestling belly-to-back takedown, Stevens powers King to the mat… only to have the agile King land on his knees! King reaches back for the snapmare, but Stevens pushes him away before King can get a grip. Standing, the two men once again circle each other… rushing together again, this time the Heavy Hitter gains an immediate advantage with tight side headlock! Wrenching it in, Grand Slam pulls the King up and over again, dropping him to the mat and retaining that tight, tight noose around his neck… King struggles for several seconds before kicking his legs free! The King's legs instantly wrap around Grand Slam's neck, cutting off the flow of oxygen… again both men break their respective holds and roll to their feet, this time accompanied by the praise of an appreciative crowd!!

 

"Boy, this crowd will cheer anything Curry!" NTD notes sarcastically.

 

Again both men run together… this time Stevens changes the pace with a quick kneelift to the wrapped up KoH! Grand Slam grabs a hold of an arm, spinning in place into a classic arm wrench. KoH slaps his shoulder in pain, trying with all his might to escape the hold… and Grand Slam wrenches the arm down HARD, driving the Gambling Man to his knees! Stevens raises the King up by the arm again, preparing for a repeat performance.. but the King drops to his knees early, sending his good arm up between the Heavy Hitter's legs and sending him to the mat with a lightning quick fireman's carry! KoH stays on the larger man, forcing him back to his feet and locking in a nasty hammerlock… that Grand Slam successfully spins out of! Stevens fires a quick toe kick to the gut of the Suicide King before locking in a front facelock… only to be wrapped up in a small package!

 

1…

 

2…

 

Grand Slam shifts his weight, changing the hold and pinning the King's shoulders down!

 

1…

 

2…

 

KoH rolls through as the ref's hand comes down, releasing the hold…. Grand Slam maintains his front facelock, raising the King up again for who knows what, but this time his legs are swept out form under him by the speedy arms of the King! KoH flips through, hooking both legs on the way down!

 

1…

 

2…

 

No! Grand Slam is far too cagey for that! With a single flex of his powerful leg muscles the Heavy Hitter sends KoH's shoulders to the mat, covering his arms in a sit-out position!

 

1…

 

2…

 

No! A quick leg scissors by the King to Steven's face distracts him just long enough for KoH to force his weight downward, reversing the hold and pinning the Heavy Hitter's shoulders down!

 

1…

 

2…

 

Stevens barely kicks out, but that doesn't stop the King… maintaining a firm hold on Mark's legs, the more agile King again rolls through, attempting another pin, this time the entire weight of his body resting on Mark's legs!! The Heavy Hitter encircles his arms around the King's waist as the ref counts…

 

1…

 

2…

 

NO! The Heavy Hitter kicks his legs free, and his shoulders lift off the canvas as he bridges up, taking the King up with him via the waistlock! The King is entirely at Steven's mercy as the arch grows larger… and larger… until finally both men are on their feet, albeit with spines bent like bowstrings! The King spins through to escape, only to find himself spinning with Mark in the same direction, carried around twice… the Heavy Hitter uses King's own momentum against him as he spins him through, grabbing a hold under the King's arms and backsliding him down to the mat!!

 

1…

 

2…

 

No! The King spasms his entire body to get free, just winning loose of Stevens' hold! Both men are finally free of any grapple of the other as they roll wearily to their feet, accompanied by the roar of an appreciative crowd!!

 

"What the hell are they cheering for?" an incredulous NTD asks. "Pure unfettered wrestling is what!" Curry responds. 'These New Yorkers came out for a match to remember, and so far the skills and knowledge of these two men is delivering! What a pinning display shown by these two friends!"

 

The two men get back to their feet, both smiling… Stevens treats the King to some light applause as the Gambling Man responds with a thumbs up, nodding his head and commenting on some maneuver of Mark's that he apparently approves of! Grand Slam shrugs, smiling, before raising his arms again… King sighs and prepares to rejoin the dance!!

 

Once more the men lock up, this time it's quite clear that neither intends to put on a clinic… Steven's quickly gains the advantage, whipping KoH into the ropes… bounce back and the King leapfrogs over the lowered head of the Heavy Hitter! Across the ring a once more and KoH just leaps over Grand Slam as he drops to the canvas! Bounce back one more time, and Stevens catches the King, twisting him in the air to deliver the tilt-a-whirl slam! But once again King's legs save him as they reach over and grab Stevens by the neck, throwing the larger man down to the mat with a headscissor takedown! KoH leaps back to his feet, allowing himself a moment of rejoicing as Grand Slam gets back to his feet… KoH bounces off the ropes again, leaping into the air in some manner of Lou Thesz press… only to be caught in the muscular arms of Grand Slam! Spinning in place the Heavy Hitter slams the Gambling Man down into the mat with a brutal spinebuster!! The King bounces off the mat like a superball, instantly sitting up and grasping his lower back in pain!

 

"About bloody time one of them got an impact move off," NTD whines.

 

Grand Slam is taking no chances… grabbing the King by his blond locks he fires him into the ropes! Bounce back and Stevens lifts the King up into the air, before bringing him down again with a vicious sidewalk slam! The Heavy Hitter reaches over to hook the leg…

 

1…

 

2…

 

No! KoH thrusts a shoulder up mere moments after the two count, determined not to let it go this easily! Grand Slam sighs slightly, returning to his feet… locking in another front facelock, the Heavy Hitter spins KoH in place before dropping to the mat, nailing the King with a falling neckbreaker!

 

"Ooftah! Grand Slam in clear control at this point, using his superior technical wrestling to pick apart the corpse of the Suicide King!' Curry yells.

 

Stevens again gets to his feet, locking in another front facelock, this time throwing the King's arm over his head a swell… one quick lift later and the King is thrown to the mat with a beautiful snap suplex! Grand Slam maintains the hold and rolls it over, lifting the King upright again… and plowing him back into the canvas one more time!!!

 

'The King can't take much more of this!" Curry notes.

 

Again Stevens rolls it over, lifting the limp carcass of the Gambling Man slowly back up to his feet… gritting his teeth he raises KoH into the air…FLOATOVER BY KING! The King of Hearts lands weakly on the other side, hooking the Heavy Hitter's arm in a half-nelson and grapevining the leg…

 

"He going for the Jokers Wild!! Jokers Wild out of nowhere!!" Curry screams as the fans explode as well…

 

AND THE GAMBLING MAN DRIVES GRAND SLAM'S FACE INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE JOKERS WILD!!! Stevens bounces off the mat, flipping over from the impact… and the King of Hearts goes for the pin, weakly hooking a leg!!

 

1…

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!! STEVENS KICKS OUT! STEVENS KICKS OUT!!! THE KING OF HEARTS CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!! KoH looks like he might drop dead of exhaustion any second from the abuse he's already taken in this match, and this might be the straw that breaks his back… Stevens rolls weakly, pulled out of his game by the lightning fast Jokers Wild delivered by the King…

 

"Grand Slam kicked out!! How did he kick out of the Jokers Wild?!?" NTD screams out!

"Heart, pure and simple! He wants the gold again, and he'll go through hell itself to get it!" Curry approvingly says!

 

KoH slowly gets back to his vertical base, prompting the ref to stop the ten count he'd been half-heartedly attempting… making his way over to the corner turnbuckle, he gingerly climbs up one… then another, finally making it to the top. Once up top, KoH raises both hands into the air, flashing the familiar "I Love You" symbol in sign language… before leaping into the air, and connecting 100% with Grand Slam's torso with the Superfly splash!! Stronger now, KoH hooks the leg for the pin!

 

1…

 

2…

 

No! The Heavy Hitter just won't die! His arm kicks up vigorously, signaling to all in attendance that things are about to pick up! KoH thumps his hand against the mat in mounting frustration… lifting Grand Slam up by the hair again, the Gambling Man throws a quick forearm shot across his back… and is answered by an elbow to the gut! KoH's eyes widen as he throws another forearm down, determined to stop this rally here and now, but Stevens throws another elbow, and another! One more elbow completely loosens KoH's hold on him, knocking him a few inches into the air from the impact! Grand Slam stands upright in front, looking down on his friend and partner… before firing a stiff knife edge chop into his chest (WHOO)! And then another (WHOO)! And then one final chop, since they always travel in groups of threes (WHOO)!! Grand Slam backs the seemingly defenseless King back into the ropes with the series of chops, before grabbing an arm and firing him across the ring… REVERSAL by the King sends Grand Slam running instead! Bounce back, and the King gathers himself for a moment before throwing his arm out palm first with all the force he can muster…

 

"HEARTBREAKER!! Heartbreaker shotei by the King, and this rally may be over before it's properly begun!" Curry exclaims!

 

Grand Slam's chest takes the shotei the way a pillow takes a bullet! Staggering in place, all the breath knocked out of him the Heavy Hitter just stands there like a fool… and eats a quick toe kick by the King, doubling his breathless body over at the waist!! Running over to the ropes, the King bounces off and lands his trademark scissor kick right to the back of the Heavy Hitter's neck!!! The crowd is going nuts, some in horror, some in glee as everyone anticipates what's coming next…

 

"Oh goodness… the Suicide King lands the scissor kick! That's the set up for another Jokers Wild, and things don't look good in the baseball diamond!" Curry says….

 

KoH kippups back to his feet, moving around behind the stirring Grand Slam… Stevens slowly stumbles back up to one knee, then to his feet… the King measures him up, measures him up… AND THEN EXPLODES INTO A FLURRY OF MOTION, LOCKING ON THE HALF NELSON AND PREPARING TO FINISH OFF THE HEAVY HITTER ONCE AND FOR ALL!

 

"It's over!" NTD squeals!

 

BUT GRAND SLAM SPINS THROUGH THE HALF NELSON, APPLYING ONE OF HIS OWN! Wrapping up the King's other arm likewise, Stevens lifts the King into the air and drives him tailbone first into the mat with a brutal full nelson drop!! Maintaining his hold on the shaken King, Grand Slam raises him up once again, this time turning him in midflight and slamming the King face first into the canvas with the"Grand Slam" as the crowd pops like an active volcano!!

 

"What a counter!" Curry mark out! "Grand Slam just reversed the Jokers Wild in impressive fashion, while turning a Double Play to boot!! It may soon be over for the King of Hearts!"

 

Lifting the fallen King up, Grand Slam applies the standing headscissors… raising one hand in the air he waves it around, signalling to everyone what is coming next…

 

"He can't hit the Walk-Off! That would be regicide!" NTD elucidates…

 

Grand Slam hooks one arm, then the other… jumping high into the air, he drives the King's head into the mat with all the force of a Howitzer!!!! The entire crowd comes to life, screaming and marking out like little children as Mark Stevens rolls the body of his friend onto its back, hooking the leg…

 

1…

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!! THE GAMBLING MAN KICKS OUT!! THE GAMBLING MAN KICKS OUT!!! Grand Slam cannot believe it, as KoH's arm just barely manages to lift off the ground mere nanoseconds before the ref's hand hits!!!!

 

"WHAT THE GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY?!??!" NTD screams before descending into incoherent babbling. The crowd around him feels likewise apparently, judging by the volume and intensity of their responses…

 

Now it's Grand Slam's turn to feel the frustration mounting… steeling himself (and sparing the smallest of glares for the ref) Stevens stands up again. Lifting KoH up by the hair, he whips the nearly dead Gambling Man into the corner turnbuckle, HARD! KoH's back slams into the insufficiently padded turnbuckles hard and weakly staggers out a few paces before being decimated by Grand Slam's incoming big boot! KoH eats it full in the face, snapping his head back with great intensity as he falls back to the mat… Grand Slam again grabs himself a handful of blonde hair, signaling for a second and final Walk-Off! Stevens shoves King's head between his legs, hooking one arm, then the other…. SOMEHOW THE SUICIDE KING WRENCHES HIS ARMS FREE!! Grabbing both of Grand Slam's legs he sweeps them out from under the larger man…

 

"The King is running on fumes here NTD! Desperation counter, but does he have enough left to take advantage of it?" Curry asks.

 

KoH maintains a weak hold on the legs, apparently planning to slingshot Stevens into the turnbuckle, but Stevens has other ideas! Quickly pulling both legs free, Grand Slam plants both feet on the chest of the Gambling Man, kicking him hard into the turnbuckles he was preparing to deliver Stevens too!!! The King's body has had enough; bouncing off it with a weak thud, he falls forward in a faceplant… AND HIS HEAD UNINTENTIONALLY CONNECTS 100% WITH GRAND SLAM'S GROIN!!

 

The entire arena groans in sympathy as Grand Slam clutches his bat and balls… KoH lays weakly as Grand Slam rolls around in obvious pain. The ref, barely avoiding a life-threatening chuckle, prepares his ten count!!

 

1…

 

2… Stevens continues his clutching of the family jewels, failing to get back to his feet!

 

3…

 

4…

 

5… Grand Slam makes it to one knee as KoH just now rolls on to his stomach…

 

6… Stevens successfully, albeit gingerly, stands fully upright and the ref stops his count! Stevens moves over to the ropes, seeking their temporary support as he wills the pain away… KoH has made it to his hands and knees, shaking his head to clear out the cobwebs…

 

"Each man has endured amazing punishment to get to this match! And each man has endured amazing punishment tonight!!!" Curry screams out loud. "Who will give in?"

 

The Gambling Man finally makes it back fully upright as Grand Slam recovers his composure… the two men move toward each other as if drawn by magnets, helpless to stop themselves… they stand face to face in the middle of the ring, each man sore, bruised, and winded… each man simultaneously draws an arm back like it was pulled by strings and strikes the other as hard as he can!! KoH lands first, only to be rocked back by the force of Grand Slam's blow… KoH tries again, and again he is answered by a stronger blow from Stevens! Grand Slam throws another right, and another, each slowly backing the King into the ropes… Grand Slam goes for another whip, but once again it is reversed by the Gambling Man! Grand Slam sails into the ropes, bounce back, and the leading edge of his chin is nailed with a leaping knee by KoH, sending the larger man down to the mat with murderous efficiency! Quickly running across the ring to the turnbuckles, KoH climbs them and perches, waiting like some gigantic bird of prey… Grand Slam picks himself up from the chin shot…

 

'Watch out Stevens!" Curry yells!

 

As Grand Slam turns, KoH leaps off of the turnbuckles in a textbook missile dropkick, his feet seeking out Grand Slam's heart… BUT GRAND SLAM SIDESTEPS IT!! King impacts the mat hard, once again clutching his back as the canny ring veteran Stevens pushes him down for the cover…

 

1…

 

2…

 

No! KoH still has some juice left in him after all! Stevens wearily stands, lifting the equally bad off King with him… moving him over to the corner, Grand Slam sends him down with a quick and efficient Russian legsweep, before climbing the turnbuckles himself…

 

"We know what's coming here… let's hope it pays off better for Grand Slam than it did for the King!" Curry exclaims!

 

Stevens faces the crowd for only a moment, before sailing up and backwards into the air as a thousand flashbulbs go off, landing dead on center with his trademarked moonsault!!! Stevens hooks the leg, one arm counting along with the ref…

 

1…

 

2…

 

NO!! KoH still refuses to die!!

 

"He's like a vampire… stake him through the heart Stevens!" NTD petulantly cries out!

 

Stevens is perhaps a little irate at his stablemate now… lifting him up he throws the smaller man across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex! KoH lands like a sack full of pasta… Grand Slam follows him over, standing resolutely above him. Raising him up once more, he lifts the King into vertical suplex position… and the King floats over once more! Wrapping Stevens up in an inverted facelock he drives the back of his head down into the mat with a diving reverse DDT!!! The ref dives into position a swell, since by luck more than anything else KoH has landed in a pinning position!

 

1…

 

2…

 

Nope! Stevens thrusts one powerful arm skyward, robbing KoH of another victory… KoH wearily rolls over, wondering what celestial power he angered to warrant this match…

 

Both men begin to rise under their own power, glancing at each other across the ring and wondering what else they have to do… determined to end this KoH runs the distance between them, grabbing grand Slam by the arm and whipping him into the ropes! Bounce back and the Heavy Hitter's face is introduced to the Gambling Man's knee once again, this time with a devastating facebuster! Stevens staggers back clutching his nose, and the Gambling Man sees the opening he's been waiting for… jus to make sure it doesn't vanish like a fever dream, the Suicide King fires another Heartbreaker right into the Heavy Hitter's sternum!

 

'This might be over! He's going for another Jokers Wild!" Curry screams out, clutching his headset!

 

KoH spins behind the staggered Grand Slam, hooking one arm up into the half nelson… and Grand Slam spins and twists it into an Irish whip!! KoH sails across the ring, bounce back, and is doubled over by the force of the Heavy Hitter's toe kick…

 

"I stand corrected! Walk-Off! This could be over!" Curry corrects himself!

 

Grand Slam hooks one arm, but never has another chance with the second as it lifts him up and over into another fireman's carry! Stevens confusedly lands on his feet, unaware of the peril behind him…

 

NTD yells out, "For the love of God somebody hit something!!!"

 

As KoH locks on the half nelson one more time AND IS INSTEAD ARM DRAGGED RIGHT OVER!! Grand Slam is ready with another boot as KoH makes it to his feet… BUT THE KING OF HEARTS CATCHES IT, SPINNING GRAND SLAM IN PLACE AND GRABBING THAT ELUSIVE ARM… BEFORE SWEEPING GRAND SLAM FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT!!!

 

"JOKERS WILD!! OH MY GOD THIS COULD BE THE UPSET OF THE CENTURY!!!" Curry yells out in response to the huge crowd reaction! "The King is going for the cover!!!"

 

1…

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

NO!!! GRAND SLAM KICKS OUT! GRAND SLAM KICKS OUT! KoH looks like he's about to cry as both his hands grab his temples and the MSG crowd explodes like a ten megaton warhead!!!!

 

"What endurance! What inhuman resolve by the Heavy Hitter!" Curry says. "How he can take this punishment and not give in is beyond me!"

 

KoH stands upright, looking for all the world like all the life has been drained out of him by Grand Slam's super-heroic toughness… hoping against hope he raises his best friend and stablemate up once more, entirely supporting his weight on his own weak legs… again hooking the arm and grapevining the leg…AND ONCE MORE PLOWING GRAND SLAM INTO THE MAT WITH A JOKERS WILD!!! KoH rolls Grand Slam over and hooks the leg…

 

 

1…

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

Funyon makes the announcement as if he can barely believe it either… "The winner of this bout, and representative of the C Bracket at Genesis !!, THE KING OF HEAAARRRTTTSSS!!!!"

 

KoH looks wearily skyward as his music begins to play… the ref raises his tired arm, before dropping it as KoH reaches for his fallen friend…

 

Curry nearly whispers into the mike, "The King of Hearts beat Thoth in what could only be called an upset. He then moved on to face Perfect Bo, and won in what could only be called an upset… and here tonight in front of more amazed fans than I can count, the Gambling Man wins over his close friend Mark Stevens in what can only be called an upset…. You have to wonder.. how much farther can this Cinderella story go? Will it in fact end with the King of Hearts as our IGNWF Champion?"

NTD breaks down crying.

 

KoH slowly is restoring his friend to life… first Stevens eyes open and then he reaches his hand to his aching head… the Gambling Man slowly, gently lifts Stevens to his feet. Once it's clear that Mark can stand under his own power, the King lets him go… the two men stand face to face for a long moment. Grand Slam looks somewhat angry, and his hand has three fingers extended which he presents to the King, who shrugs with an embarrassed grin on his face. Grand Slam takes another step in, his face clouding over… the King looks genuinely nervous… right until Grand Slam sweeps him into a big hug, to the delight of the capacity crowd!!! Putting the King in a playful side headlock he tousles the Gambling Man's hair, a grin on his face! KoH extricates himself as the music changes to "Love Rollercoaster" and the two men slide under the ring ropes…

 

"Friendship apparently prevails over ambition tonight, as the Carnies depart stronger than ever! Or so it seems…" Curry remarks. "But coming up next, can another Carnie make it into the Big Dance? If you thought the Gambling Man had bad odds, wait til you see what Mistress Sarah has to go through! IGNite will be right back!!

 

And fade…