Promo: Last Laugh

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Ace SWF interviewer Ben Hardy is seen running down a corridor, microphone in hand, scurrying towards some unknown destination for some interview with some unknown person. It’s a daily grind for Mr. Hardy: running from here to there, hoping to get a few words from the winners and losers of the show.

 

"This is SWF Ace reporter Ben Hardy, reporting live backstage here in Oklahoma City," the announcer reports to the live audience and the television viewers at home. "I've just been informed that none other than former 3-time Hardcore champion and acting X Force Nine leader Ash Ketchum is still in the building. Maybe we can get him to answer some questions about recent occurrences in the SWF and about his tragic loss tonight."

 

He quickly shoots a glance back at the lumbering cameraman following behind as he continues to hurry down the halls.

 

“Hurry up, Gus, you fat dumbass!”

 

“*huff*... I’m trying, boss... *huff*”

 

Hardy turns away from Gus, mumbling under his breath:

 

“Dammit, it’s so hard to find good help these days...”

 

Hardy finally stops at the end of the hall, where a simple metal door has been spruced up with four large words, apparently made of cheap construction paper and confetti and taped to the door: "Ash Ketchum, SWF Superstar!!!." A large neon sign hangs above the door, reading: “Pokemania World Headquarters Here”. Sounds of music, most likely some foreign metal band like Arch Enemy or Rammstein, play from behind the door.

 

"It should be any moment now," Hardy assures the viewers, and he knocks on the door for emphasis. "Mr. Ketchum?"

 

There are footsteps, then someone grabs the doorknob and turns it. The door opens then from the other side, and Ash Ketchum sticks his head out, peering right into the smiling Ben and Gus as Ash replies with:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Go away, fucker.”

 

 

“But-”

 

“I’m not going to talk.”

 

“But we just wanted your thoughts on tonight’s match...” Hardy whines.

 

“Yeah...”

 

“Shuddup, Gus.” Hardy snaps back at Gus as Ketchum sighs, giving in to the demands of the interviewer.

 

“Fine... ask your damn little question. I know you have to go back to sucking Tom Flesher’s cock, and I don’t want to keep you from your ‘magical happy fun time’.”

 

“Say what?”

 

“Nothin’. Now ask. You got thrity seconds before I slam this fuckin’ door in your face.”

 

Hardy clears his throat and proceeds onward with the question.

 

“How do you feel about your loss tonight to Annie Eclectic, and what will happen as a result?”

 

Ash’s response is quick and to the point. “Pissed. My title’s been taken from me... and I will get it back. Thank you.”

 

Ketchum begins to close the door, but Hardy makes one final comment towards him that changes his mind:

 

“A large percentage of non-Ash fans think that maybe you’ve lost your touch-”

 

The door flies open as Ketchum cuts off Hardy in mid-sentence. His eyes seen to be open wider, with an intense stare. His dimples curl downward into a frown as he looks into the eyes of Ben Hardy. Hardy backs up a little, fearful of the Poke Freak as he goes into his mini-rant.

 

“So, all the anti-Pokemaniacs say I can’t do it huh? Those fucks who don't know who I am, or who care about me? Well, ya know what? I’ll prove all their sorry asses wrong!” Ketchum pauses as he moves onto his next thought. “Annie Eclectic, you may be Hardcore Champ now, but Pokemania’s gonna come back and kick your ass! I brought you into this fed, and God dammit, if I have to, and I hope I don’t, I’ll take you out of it!” Ketchum pauses for a brief second. “I ain’t got nothin against ya, Annie. You’re good and all, hell, you’re one hell of a wrestler... but you have my title. And to tell you the truth, Ben Hardy, I’m gonna get MY title back, and I’m gonna win the US Title! You just wait and see!”

 

“And about Sigil-”

 

“Sigil? That bastard had the audasicty to attack me after I lost something that meant a lot to me! Once I regain MY title back, I’ll make sure to deliver a Snorlax-sized ass-whoopin’ to that fuckin’ son of a bitch PERSONALLY! And that’s a motherrfuckin’ guarantee!!!”

 

Ketchum turns around, leaving the door open as the interview ends. The camera remains on as Gus adds a little cameraman’s comment:

 

"Beat Annie Eclectic? You're not gonna beat her..."

 

"Yeah, tell him, Gus-"

 

Hardy turns around with a laugh as Ketchum stops dead in his tracks in the locker room. His eyes open wide. His teeth are pressed together. His bodies trembles as his trembling hands clutch into spheres of pain.

 

“C’mon, we gotta catch flesher before he goes-

 

“WHAM!” The door flies open and Gus screams.

 

“What’s that, bitch?” Ketchum’s voice screams as Hardy jumps out of the way and Ash hits Gus.

 

He grabs Gus, pounding his fist at blazing speed into Gus’ face. The cameraman drops the camera on the ground, catching a shot of a frightened Ben Hardy as we hear a “CLANK!” in the background.

 

“CLANK!”

 

Then another.

 

“CLANK!”

 

And another.

 

“CLANK!”

 

And another. At this point, Hardy finally has the courage to try and take off, but Ash whips his head towards Hardy off camera, and as Ben chases away, Ketchum leaps at him, chasing after him.

 

 

 

“COME HERE!”

 

It doesn’t take long as the enraged Ash grabs Ben, slamming him to the ground with a vicious tackle! Ketchum then grabs Ben Hardy dragging him off camera while Hardy lets out a scream of pure terror. As Hardy is dragged back, his foot slams into the camera, jolting it. Picture goes out, but audio remains, and then... “CRACK!” a sound similar to the one produced by a singapore cane.

 

“CRACK!”

 

Then another. Ben Hardy screams in pain.

 

“CRACK!”

 

And another. Hardy begs for mercy, but there is none today.

 

“CRACK!”

 

And another. Hardy screams, then his voice falls silent.

 

“CRACK!”

 

And another.

 

After the last shot, there’s a loud “THUD!” and the camera springs to life. The picture is back, and on it, we see the bandaged Ash Ketchum. He still looks rather unhappy as he delivers a message that he’s been waiting to deliver for a while, a message contained in the fury within the Poke Freak.

 

 

"Take a good look at what I’m gonna show you, bitches. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU THINK I'M A JOKE!"

 

Ketchum slams the camera down. The picture goes fuzzy for a second, then focuses back in, and we see the grizzly carnage that has taken place. We can’t see Gus, but it’s a good bet he’s bleeding profusely and unconscious from several chair shots to the head. But we do see Hardy, and it is not pretty. Ben Hardy’s face is bloodied and cut open in several spots from a vicous singapore cane attack. He tries to get up, but he collapses after a second as everything fades away to blackness and it all goes quiet...

 

 

 

 

-TO BE CONTINUED-

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

Ash beingz heel? Funny how Ash set off the entire Lady Red angle by losing a match... and our last match sets this off..

 

character development? Ash? *gasp*

 

this'll be interesting.

 

-Annie

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Ash no beingz heel... well, not yet.

 

But yes... character development from Ash? *gasp!*

[Guest El Luchadore Magnifico]

ASH KETCHUM IS HERE AND HE'S REALLY MAD!

 

ASH KETCHUM IS HERE AND HE'S REALLY AN-GRY!

 

Nothing beats a pissed-off Pokemaniac. Great stuff, Ash.

[Guest Serrated]

*burp*

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Good stuff, but I wish you'd done something different than just hammer on Gus. Now'd be the perfect time to start unloading a few bitch-slaps on Misty, or something that means a little more to Ash, something more personal than just the cameraman.

 

I don't think we have a single slightly-laid back character in this league any more. Say what you will about the current roster being slim, but darned if it isn't a rather tense environment.

 

::slinks back into the corner::

[Guest Thoth]

Yeah, we need someone to loosen us up.

 

Or beer.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Hmmmm... good point, Edwin... we haven't really had an even semi-laid back character since before you and Wilson went at it, i think.

[Secret Agent 0]

Johnny Dangerous is laid back. Although he's down in the farm leagues.

[Guest Powerplay]

Damnit, I nearly forgot! Anyways, a more serious program for Ash? Getting possessive of that HC Belt, and it looks like a tweener or heel turn for the pokemaniac. And for the record, the Judge hasn't beaten up Hardy yet, so Ash has done something evil the Judge hasn't.