Smackdown and Velocity Spoilers

[Guest BoboBrazil]

Velocity Match 1: Crash Holly vs. Albert

 

Crash came down wearing a backpack and was made evident on WHY he was wearing it when he produced a can of shaving cream and a razor and presented them to Albert. Funny stuff. Albert of course didn't take too kindly to that. Albert controlled most of the match, with Crash getting in a small bit of offense near the end. However, Crash started mimicing the Ultimate Warrior and saying he was going to press slam Albert. Unfortunatly, he turned around right into a huge kick that leveled Elroy and let Albert pick up the win. After the match, Crash managed to get some shaving foam on Albert's back but Albert snatched Crash up and delivered a Baldo Bomb and left.

 

Winner: Albert

 

Velocity Match 2: Dan something vs. Chuck Palumbo

 

Don't recall what Dan's last name was. Something that started with a G. Anyways, semi boring match with Palumbo getting the submission win with a reverse boston crab. Interesting addition to his arsenal.

 

Winner: Chuck Palumbo

 

Before the next match, Bill DeMott (Hugh Morris) cut a promo, which won't air, bashing Hartford so we'd boo him.

 

Velocity Match 3: Bill DeMott vs. Danny Doring

 

Sure enough, we booed DeMott. Not totally sure if this is for Velocity or not since I saw a "Bill DeMott coming to Smackdown" ad during the show. It was cool seeing Doring get a try out but sad that he just got totally squashed by DeMott who nailed the No Laughing Matter from the top, delivered some trash talk and then pinned him.

 

Winner: Bill DeMott

 

Funaki came out for his match and did a promo sucking up to the crowd. Nice Funaki chants. Tazz came out and hilarity ensued. Tazz did a whole skit asking Funaki a number of questions, getting Brian Hebner and Tony Chimmel to battle each other in a push up contest and managed to get both guys to do a Spinaroonie. Tazz then invited the camera man in but then "Real American" played and the guy started grinding up to Tazz who backed away in the corner laughing. Looks like they pulled a rib on him. Anyways, Funkai did a spinaroonie and finally Tazz was going to leave but changed his mind and decided to sit at the announce table.

 

Velocity Match 4: Funaki vs. Matt Hardy version 1.0

 

Sad thing about seeing Mattitude live is you don't get the fun Mattitude facts on the titantron. Solid Velocity main event between the two. Funaki looked to be heading for a win near the end but Matt managed to slap on the Twist of Fate and picked up the victory.

 

Winner: Matt Hardy Version 1.0

 

Cole came out again after leaving the commentator booth after the Crash/Albert match. The pyro's went off, the long opening video montage about Brock & Heyman went on, the theme cranked up and we're off for Smackdown!

 

WWE Smackdown

 

Smackdown Match 1: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Jamie Knoble (with Nidia)

 

Nidia looks very hot in person. Decent match but suprisingly very little high flying moves from Mysterio. Near the end through, Rey gets the 619 on Knoble and is setting up for the West Coast Pop when Nidia grabs his foot. Rey chases Nidia into the ring and Knoble lifts Rey over his head. However, in a very cool spot, Rey goes over Knoble's head, bounces off the ropes, lands back onto Knoble's shoulders and hits the hurricanrana for the win. A bit slow of a match but cool ending.

 

Winner: Rey Mysterio Jr.

 

They showed Brock Lesnar pacing the parking lot area waiting for Heyman & Show to arrive.

 

Nidia tries to consol Knoble backstage but Knoble feels the only way he's going to get his cruiserweight title back is to bring in his cousin. Looks like another wacky redneck addition to the Knoble/Nidia team.

 

(Note: These backstage segments might be out of order)

 

Brock walks into one of the locker rooms but no one will look him in the eye. Matt Hardy tries to give Lesnar a pep talk and thinks that if he had just had a little more Mattitude, he wouldn't have suffered such an unfortunate Twist of Fate. Brock responds by sending Matt through a wall.

 

Stephanie comes in to look at the carnage that Brock did to Matt and Eddie goes off on her about an unsafe working enviroment. Too funny. Eddie doesn't think Brock will listen to a woman but Stephanie promises to handle Lesnar.

 

Smackdown Match 2: "The Crippler" Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

 

Eddie comes down with Chavo but the ref sends him to the back. Solid match between the two. Near the end, Benoit hits the 3 german suplexes and the top rope headbutt but only gets two. Chavo tried for this springboard move but he slipped on the rope and fell on his face. However, right after he fell, Benoit locked in the Crossface but Chavo made it to the ropes. Chavo tried a dive off the top but Benoit snatched Chavo as he was coming down and locked the crossface back in again for the submission win.

 

Winner: Chris Benoit

 

Brock is back to pacing outside in the parking lot when Stephanie shows up. She promises he'll get a rematch but if he touches Heyman or Show tonight, she'll suspend him. Brock barely paid attention to Stephanie the entire time.

 

Smackdown Match 3: WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Billy Kidman (Champion) vs. Tajiri

 

Good match between the two but kinda silent from the crowd. Kidman managed to hit the shooting star press at the end for the win to retain.

 

Winner: Billy Kidman (Still WWE Cruiserweight Champion)

 

Show & Heyman arrived and Heyman gloated to Lloyd that he is aware of every move Brock takes and that he won't do nothing to the new WWE Champion.

 

Meanwhile, Brock is pacing in Stephanie's locker room and tells Brock that Heyman & Show are heading to the ring for interview time. Brock is pissed and Stephanie again lets him know that if he attacks either, he's suspended. Brock claims it's bullshit and leaves.

 

Brock's music starts but Heyman comes out, wearing the title and imitating Brock. He talks about how he was the brains behind Lesnar and got him everything he ever did. Show comes out and basically talks trash about Lesnar and mentions that Edge will go down as well in their title match later tonight. Heyman closes things saying that the last thing he did while he was Brock's agent was to slip in a "No Rematch" clause into the contract for the match between Show & Lesnar at the Survivor Series. Heyman & Show leave but Brock jumps out from the crowd, grabs a chair and smashes Show with it while giving chase to Heyman but is held back by refs and Stephanie.

 

Big Show laid on the ramp for about 5-10 minutes before refs came out to help him.

 

They recorded Stephanie yelling at Brock just inside the enterance to the stage, warning him not to mess with Show & Heyman again tonight or he's suspended.

 

Smackdown Match 4: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

 

Chavo comes down with Eddie but the ref sends him back. Good match between the two. Chavo comes back about halfway in and stands on the ramp. At the right moments, he runs downs and attacks Angle. Benoit comes out but stays on the top of the stage and doesn't get involved. In the end, Eddie was on top for his frog splash and Angle managed to get him crotched and then do his run up the ropes into a Angle Slam for the win. Chavo tried to attack post match but got the ankle lock for his troubles. Angle turns to see Benoit clapping at the top of the stage.

 

Winner: Kurt Angle

 

Big Show was getting looked at and Heyman tells Show he's going to talk to Stephanie.

 

Sure enough, Heyman is in Stephanie's office and wants the match between Edge & Show called due to the shot Lesnar hit on Show. Stephanie says the match is still on but she'll give her assurances that Brock won't interfear in the match.

 

John Cena cuts a pre-match promo that won't air calling Hartford the bathroom break between Boston and New York.

 

Smackdown Match 5: John Cena vs. Rikishi

 

Sure enough, we boo him. Cena has a new semi-rap theme now. Despite wondering why, Rikishi gets a big pop. Before the match starts, Dawn Marie & Al Wilson come out on the stage and invite everyone to their wedding. Al Wilson pretty much mumbles through his part and swaps spit with Dawn as the match finally starts. Rikishi manages to pick up the ring with a belly to belly suplex and goes for the banzi drop post match. However, Bull Buchanan runs in with a hat on and picks Rikishi up and hits the electric chair on him, followed by an elbow and a legdrop. Cena & Buchanan leave together.

 

Then there is this HUGE LONG WAIT before the main event. Edge gets interviewed by Funaki and basically says he'll do whatever it takes to win the gold.

 

They also did a Steiner promo but when it said "Will make special appearance NEXT WEEK", we all booed.

 

Smackdown Match 6: World Wrestling Entertainment Championship: The Big Show (Champion, with Paul Heyman) vs. Edge

 

Edge gets in a fury of offense before turning into the Big Show's bumping partner. Near the end, Edge manages to hit a tornado DDT on Show but only gets two. He then hits 3 spears to finally knock Show down but just as the ref is counting, Heyman pulls Edge out. Edge chases Heyman and of course this doesn't go well. Big Show hits the chokeslam but Heyman tells Show to treat Edge like he's Brock Lesnar and Show hits the chokeslam on Edge two more times before Brock runs in and hits another very impressive F5 on the Big Show and then chases Heyman off through the crowd.

 

Winner: Big Show via DQ (Still WWE Champion)

 

lordsofpain.net

[Guest snowfan]

awesome...I am glad to see they aren't killing Brock's heat and in fact may well be magnifying it.

 

Edge will get his chance soon maybe a year or two tops.

 

The only thing that would have been better would have been Angle allying with Brock....

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

WTF? Why waste Edge's build like that!?//

[Guest snowfan]

WTF? Why waste Edge's build like that!?//

yeah i know...

 

they really screwed up having Show win....

 

I dunno who would you have thrown away for a Show caretaker reign???

 

I mean the best thing to do would be to have angle win, but Vinny is saving that for a rainy day....

[Guest BoboBrazil]

The worst part about Show winning the belt is that Brock isn't missing any tv time. What the fuck was the point of giving Big Show the belt?

[Guest snowfan]

The worst part about Show winning the belt is that Brock isn't missing any tv time. What the fuck was the point of giving Big Show the belt?

EXACTLY!

 

It is political dude.

 

They want yawn and the HGH Commemerative belt to gain in stature by default.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Hmm...Edge loses without getting pinned...

 

How about that?

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Hmmmmm......Noble is bringing in a redneck cousin.....this is the best thing sinced sliced bread...........#2.

 

*Wonders if anybody got that reference

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Noble's cousin...

 

Hillbilly Jim's triumphant return to WWE?

[Guest Zack Malibu]

I was thinking of Spanky, LOTC.

 

Spanky, Nova, or Guido. I could see the cousin being someone that is the polar opposite of Noble, since we'd expect a redneck gimmick. If it's Guido, they may rehash the original FBI idea (meaning Noble will suddenly reveal his Italian heritage...)

[ChrisMWaters 0]

I was thinking of Spanky, LOTC.

 

Spanky, Nova, or Guido. I could see the cousin being someone that is the polar opposite of Noble, since we'd expect a redneck gimmick. If it's Guido, they may rehash the original FBI idea (meaning Noble will suddenly reveal his Italian heritage...)

Heh, that would be funny to say the least.

 

BTW...Zack...who are those girls in your sig?

[Guest RedJed]

I would think it has to be Spanky, he would fit a redneck role decent enough. Guido just doesn't fit there.

 

The show sounds kind of blah to me other than Angle-Eddy. I was hoping to see some movement on where everyone in the tag title match was going post-SS and this doesn't seem to really give any huge indication other than perhaps an Angle/Benoit-Guererros feud.

 

So Brock gets suspended, and then what?

[Guest Zack Malibu]

BTW...Zack...who are those girls in your sig?

That would be 80's-90's freestyle-pop group Sweet Sensation. They had a few major hits (Hooked On You and If Wishes Came True to name two of them), but no one around here seems to be into that style of music. I love it though...my cousin worked with Stevie B. (popular freestyle singer), and another girl, Alexia, actually worked at one of my family's businesses. So I grew up on the stuff. TRITEC and EvenflowDDT have warmed up to the freestyle though, so watch out, I may try to take over the whole board .

[Guest snowfan]

Hmm...Edge loses without getting pinned...

 

How about that?

he is mini-HHH...

 

 

seriously I am glad they at least tried to slavage some credibility for him...

[Guest ISportsFan]

My thoughts (# of caps = my true thoughts):

 

Rey v. Noble: SwEeT.

 

Chavo v. Benoit: SWEeT.

 

Kidman v. Tajiri: Sweet.

 

Eddy v. Angle: SWEET.

 

Cena v. Rikishi: CRAP.

 

Edge v. Big Show: SUPER CRAP.

 

Jason

[Guest BoboBrazil]

Noone has mentioned Bull Buchanan is back and on Smackdown?

[Guest ShooterJay]

Shifting to a new topic,

 

Who wants to bet that Knoble's "cousin" is Spanky, thus totally wrecking him right off the bat?

[JasonX 0]

WTF? Why waste Edge's build like that!?//

Because it's his time to get squashed and depushed?

[Guest Zack Malibu]

I wouldn't say it would wreck him. Noble's gimmick is actually pretty good, they just don't let him go promo crazy like he did in HWA. Remember the promo he did about how important winning the belt was to him? He could turn the white-trash asshole into a sympathetic, inspirational babyface if the writers decide to get behind him.

[The Dames 0]

BTW...Zack...who are those girls in your sig?

That would be 80's-90's freestyle-pop group Sweet Sensation. They had a few major hits (Hooked On You and If Wishes Came True to name two of them), but no one around here seems to be into that style of music. I love it though...my cousin worked with Stevie B. (popular freestyle singer), and another girl, Alexia, actually worked at one of my family's businesses. So I grew up on the stuff. TRITEC and EvenflowDDT have warmed up to the freestyle though, so watch out, I may try to take over the whole board .

Speak for YOURSELF Malibu!

 

I went to a freestyle concert in 2000 and I saw Cynthia, Johnny O, Coro, TKA, etc. I LOVE FREESTYLE!

 

I have TONS of songs....man, I thought I was the only person here who was into that.

 

Dames

[Guest Zack Malibu]

BTW...Zack...who are those girls in your sig?

That would be 80's-90's freestyle-pop group Sweet Sensation. They had a few major hits (Hooked On You and If Wishes Came True to name two of them), but no one around here seems to be into that style of music. I love it though...my cousin worked with Stevie B. (popular freestyle singer), and another girl, Alexia, actually worked at one of my family's businesses. So I grew up on the stuff. TRITEC and EvenflowDDT have warmed up to the freestyle though, so watch out, I may try to take over the whole board .

Speak for YOURSELF Malibu!

 

I went to a freestyle concert in 2000 and I saw Cynthia, Johnny O, Coro, TKA, etc. I LOVE FREESTYLE!

 

I have TONS of songs....man, I thought I was the only person here who was into that.

 

Dames

HOLY SHIT!

 

(Zack runs to sign up for The Dames' fan club!)

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

Let's see... Kurt Angle takes care of Eddie and Chavo by himself.... I wonder if Anglesault will see anything wrong with Angle's portrayal this week?

[Guest Your Olympic Hero]

Noble's cousin...

 

Hillbilly Jim's triumphant return to WWE?

Phineas Godwinn

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I was thinking of Spanky, LOTC.

 

Spanky, Nova, or Guido. I could see the cousin being someone that is the polar opposite of Noble, since we'd expect a redneck gimmick. If it's Guido, they may rehash the original FBI idea (meaning Noble will suddenly reveal his Italian heritage...)

Nova invented Jamie Knoble, boy.

[Guest FeArHaVoC]

What the fuck was the point of giving Big Show the belt?

"I'm not feeling it, but I'll do the job in HIAC as long as Brock gets jobbed out for his own learning experience to someone else and I get one last run again with the Title. It will be for Brock's own good to teach him a great lesson in this Business. Matter of Fact, push my buddy Paul since he is really learning and becoming a great in the business. Plus, he gives me verbal blow jobs all the time in interviews." - - - The Undertaker

 

It was reported he was only taking a little time off until after Sara has the baby. Which is any day now.

[Guest snowfan]

What the fuck was the point of giving Big Show the belt?

"I'm not feeling it, but I'll do the job in HIAC as long as Brock gets jobbed out for his own learning experience to someone else and I get one last run again with the Title. It will be for Brock's own good to teach him a great lesson in this Business. Matter of Fact, push my buddy Paul since he is really learning and becoming a great in the business. Plus, he gives me verbal blow jobs all the time in interviews." - - - The Undertaker

 

It was reported he was only taking a little time off until after Sara has the baby. Which is any day now.

once the foal stands UT will come back and reclaim his "birthright"...

[Guest ryankeast]

DO NOT give Undertaker the belt. I repeat DO NOT.

 

He doesn't need the fucking thing. The live crowd will pop for him regardless.

 

The WWE title which never should have been taken off Brock in the first place, but this Show / Lesnar programme may be slightly bearable with Heyman's turning - should be given to Angle, Edge or Beniot - not the fuckin Undertaker.

[Guest Eye of Truth]

Meh... I'd rather they use Matt Hardy and John Cena more effectively by putting them against eachother on SD!, but instead we get the 2nd Vanilla Cena vs Fat-and-lame bastard match.

 

...

 

and why is Mattitude even on Velocity? Match time should NOT be a concern, boot talentless fucks like Rikishi offand put Matt on SD to stay =P

[Guest midnight_burn]

Bull Buchannon's back on Smackdown, and possibly feuding with Rikishi? JR must be orgasming over that.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Someone suggested on the DVDMB that Spanky be the 'high-class' redneck who has left the trailer park - which I think is a gold gimmick.