Guest Hot NewzWIRE~! Report post Posted November 25, 2002 HOT NEWZ & VIEWS & OPINIONS~!!111 Whatz up my peeplz! This iz your regular HOT NEWZ reporter! However, CRZ decided 2 b GHEY and close down his site! That’s ok though! I thought it wsa GHEY anyway! PLUS my site is bettar! But than geocities decided 2 b GHEY and not let me post UPDATES! So here I am in the SMART SMARKS FORUMS! ESPECIALL Y the OAOAST becuz I THINK it is intreging and FUN and CWM is sexy~! BAN AGNES!!!!!11111 SO TONIGHT IS BREAKUP I MEAN DOWN LOL~! At least when I was writing this it is! And then I discovered that my Friend’s brother’s dad’s mistress’ grandfather actually gave birth to Tony the Body (HE’s A BASTARD AND HIS GRANDDADDY SAID SO LOL) and he showed me thhe booking sheet for BREAKDOWN~! However, I have reworded things to make them more exciting~! HOWEVER THE RRESULTS ARE STILL THES AME GUARENTEED~! *The first thing that happenz is Good Old JR Jim Ross introduces his new broadcast partner! And THAT MAN IS ACE VENTURA”S LESS FAMOUS SON JESSE! Jesse of course took his Viagra before he came out here LOL~! *Reject vs. Thunderkid – This opening match is declared a no contest when Alfdogg comes out and asks Reject to join the Deadly Alliance. However, Reject says no and the referee calls for the bell! Then Alfdogg gives Reject a Thunderbolt DDT and him and TK spraypaint “THE DEADLY ALLIANCE OWNZ YOU YOU PIECE OF EVERLASTING GOBSTOPPER SHIT~!” (that might not all fit on his back but what the hell LOL) *Backstage Nose Mistry says he will BAN AGNES FOR GOOD! The crowd is dead because they don’t know who Agnes is because they aren’t INSIDERS! *Angle-plex vs. Nase Mistry – The crowd chants “Ban Agnes” lol! However AP actually wins (!) when CWM comes into the ring! And he says “I will do you all a favor and FINALLY ban Agnes since I am a mod!” but then he hits Naz Mistry with Agnes’ Christmas Monkey! And AP gets the pin! After the match AP tries to make out with CWM but he sez “I’m not ghey you FAGGOT!” and hits HIM with the monkey! *Backstage The Superstar gets in a fistfight with some GHEY guys who want to feel his legs. (Suggested quote for SS: “MY LEGS ARE HAIRY, BITCHES!”) *THREE STAGES OF HEAVEN LOL: The Superstar vs. Evenflow DDT – Supposedly Evenflow has a new gimmik called “The Golem” but he died in Lord of the Rings LOL! So anyway Evenflow winz the first fall by Disqualification when Superstar runs into the turnbuckle and goes delirious and he thinks the referee is a big can of SHAVE CREAM! So he shakes and rubs the ref (WHAT A FAG LOL) and he gets DQd! And then since SS is still delirious Evenflow rolls up Superstar to win the second fall! And The Crowd Riots because they they wanted a cage match! *Meanwhile Bowser Logan tells his KOOPAS to prepare for a win! And then Toad tries to kill Bowser but fails miserably! *Alfdogg vs. Bowser Logan – Alfdogg winz a grat match after Mario (not Logan lol) runs in and jumps on Bowser’s head! This breaks Bowser’s neck and Alfdogg wraps in a chinlock for the submission victory! *Eskimo and JINGES vs. SPIDERMAN and EL DANDY~! – Since no one cares and the crowd is taking a piss break before the main event, Spiderpoet turns on El Dandy or something and puts on an nWo shirt for no apparent reason. El Dandy starts crying and runs to his mom and is counted out! *AngleSLUT vs. Big Poppa Pump vs. Zak Morris vs. BAN AGNES vs. CobainWasGhey vs. Tony the Bastard – BILL WATS comes out and says the Outlaw rule is in effect. THEN THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS COME OUT! DOGG SAYS “OH you didn’t know! We are THE OUTLAWS and now this is an 8 pack! Even though that doesn’t make sense. Me and my partner Billy always do it DOGGY STYLE~!” So the match starts! AS hits Tony with the belt! Then Road Dogg gives him the pumphandle slam! Then Zack gives him a School’s Out! Then Billy gives him a DUMBASSER! Then BPP gives him a Fallen Angel! Then CWM gives him a Pollycutter! Then Tony gives him a Spine on the Pine! And then Agnes starts humping Tony’s leg! And Tony is all “Get off you faggot. I’ll spinebust your ass” and Agnes says “I love it when you talk dirty. Ban me you SLUT!” but then AS comes behind him and says “Stop copying me” and gives him a MOONSAULT. OR SHOULD I SAY ANGLESAULT. And then Road Dogg gives HIM the Shaky shaky kneedrop! Then Zack gives him an Idol Driver! Then Billy gives him The One and Only! Then BPP hits HIM with a cross! Then CWM hits him with a Tire Iron! Then Tony wraps him in a bearhug! Then Agnes gets so turned on that he whips out his DICK and starts to MASTURWANK! And the crowd vomits! And all the members of the match DIE and Agnes humps Anglesault and the ref counts 1, 2, 3!!!!!!!!!!111111111 AGNES IS THE WORLD OAOAST CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 Then he whips out his DICK again and says “I OWE IT ALL TO YOU” and he kisses it! And JR says “FUCK THIS SHIT! OFF THE AIR NOW, YOU TV PRODUCTION CUNT! OFF THE BAH GAWD FUCKING AIR BEFORE WE SEE THAT COCKHEAD GIVE HIS DICK A BLOWJOB! JESUS CHRIST I THOUGHT SUCKING OFF STEVE WAS BAD ENOUGH” That PPV sounds like the BEST OAOAST has to OFFER! ***************OAOAST NEWZ******************** Supposedly after BreakDOWN Jingus will take a DAY OFF becuz HE has to travel to Japan and make luv to hiz friend JUBUKI! Who is Reject? Who is Thunderkid? Who is Naz Mistry? Stay tune! I herd from my friend 1Bizzob that Scott Keith’s Biggest Fan wants to join the OAOAST! CWM was reported as saying “Fcuk no taht little worthles shitfaced cunt!” Cutthroat was seen having dinner with Big Poppa Popick! What does thi smean? Anglesault apparently has good taste for bad muzak! He was seen looking thru his YANNI tapes 4 his new theme! Sez I, it cant be WORSE THAN NICKLEBACK ROFL! Jamie Vick has been known to ROCK THE CASBAH in her GRAVE! As u know, the In Crowd is NO MORE! My sourcez say Zack Malibu is hopin to form a new group called Da OUT CROWD, as in OUT OF THE CLOSET CROWD! He and Buff Everchad will make out weekely and women around the world will MASSERBATE! As u KNOW, I get LOTZ of Pussy and around town every woman’s favorite OAOAST superstar is surprisingly, EVENFLOWDDT! I asked them why they didn’t like Alfdogg (my quote: “WHAT ABOUT HIM? WHAT ABOUT ALFDOGG?!”) and they said “Because he doesn’t like to smoke. BUT EVENFLOW IS SMOKIN~!” THE MYSTERIOUS ONE IS NOT CWM! I NO BECAUSE I PMED TMO AND ASKED IF HE WAS CWM AND HIS REPLY? “FUCK NO!” BAN AGNES~! (not newZ, just HARD HITTING OPINION!) Sign Ideaz 4 IntenseZone~! I would Bang Jamie Vick if she WASN’T SO DEAD! (This sign goes next to the one above)! I’M NOT HHH! YOUR MUSIC SUCKS! (held up during Anglesault’s entrance) JINGUS, MARY AND JOSEPH! CWM is SEXY~! When Superstar was SHAVING HIS LEGS he tried to shave his PUBES but ENDED UP CUTTING HIS DICK OFF~! (might not fit on a sign but ROFLMAO!!!!1) Well tahtz all 4 this week doodz I will be bizzack sizoon with ANOTHER hot newZ update 4 da OAOAST because IT WAS ME AUSTIN! IT WAS ME AAAAAAAAALLLLLL ALONG ROFLMAO~!111111 ************************************** Anglesault to Join NAMBLA?? Tony the Body to function without Viagra?? Jingus to grow a set of testicles?? Reject to win a match?? CWM to stop being SEXY?? Treble Charged to return only to form a GHEY STABLE with Superstar?? Plus HOT NUDE PICS OF JAMIE VICK MASTURBATING WHILE SHAVING HER LEGS IN A THONG WITH VERY VISIBLE NIPPLE SLIP AND CLEAVAGE AND THE HOT NEWZ ARCHIVES CLICK HERE! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sandman9000 Report post Posted November 25, 2002 Don't I deserve some mention? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Hot NewzWIRE~! Report post Posted November 25, 2002 SANDMAN SI GHEY~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big Poppa Popick Report post Posted November 25, 2002 i love this, i hope its a weekly feature Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Superstar Report post Posted November 25, 2002 Besides all the obvious shots at me, I thought it was pretty funny. I herd from my friend 1Bizzob that Scott Keith’s Biggest Fan wants to join the OAOAST! CWM was reported as saying “Fcuk no taht little worthles shitfaced cunt!” *GOLD* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Angle-plex Report post Posted November 25, 2002 Best.Post.Ever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Angle-plex Report post Posted November 25, 2002 *Backstage Nose Mistry says he will BAN AGNES FOR GOOD! The crowd is dead because they don’t know who Agnes is because they aren’t INSIDERS! *Angle-plex vs. Nase Mistry – The crowd chants “Ban Agnes” lol! However AP actually wins (!) when CWM comes into the ring! And he says “I will do you all a favor and FINALLY ban Agnes since I am a mod!” but then he hits Naz Mistry with Agnes’ Christmas Monkey! And AP gets the pin! After the match AP tries to make out with CWM but he sez “I’m not ghey you FAGGOT!” and hits HIM with the monkey! They don't know who Agnes is, but they chant "Ban Agnes" anyways? MAJOR FUCKUP! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest alfdogg Report post Posted November 25, 2002 Gee I wonder who could have done this... *looks suspiciously at Popick* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big Poppa Popick Report post Posted November 25, 2002 Wasn't me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Angle-plex Report post Posted November 25, 2002 So here I am in the SMART SMARKS FORUMS! ESPECIALL Y the OAOAST becuz I THINK it is intreging and FUN and CWM is sexy~! I sure hope it wasn't Popick. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest alfdogg Report post Posted November 25, 2002 *turns his eyes to Supershit* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted November 25, 2002 Besides all the obvious shots at me, I thought it was pretty funny. I herd from my friend 1Bizzob that Scott Keith’s Biggest Fan wants to join the OAOAST! CWM was reported as saying “Fcuk no taht little worthles shitfaced cunt!” *GOLD* CWM is SEXY~! THAT is gold my friend Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest mR. x Da SpOoKy SeCrEt MaN Report post Posted November 25, 2002 g00d SiRz! I am BACccK HoW HaVe U B33N? BaN AgNeS TwAt!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hhhruls Report post Posted November 25, 2002 shut up spuke scrt men mrx yur so gey u evn put JINGES to shaem jst do us al a fayver and leeve this fukeng brd rite now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest mR. x Da SpOoKy SeCrEt MaN Report post Posted November 25, 2002 wHa g00d SirZ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sandman9000 Report post Posted November 25, 2002 I need a gimmick name. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EL DANDY~! 0 Report post Posted November 26, 2002 I don't think you can really have one, Sandman... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Hot NewzWIRE~! Report post Posted February 11, 2003 Could he be making a return? ZERO HOUR isn't too far away . . . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted February 11, 2003 ::Sends Freddy to give a nightmare that will chase this nEwZ away:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted February 11, 2003 I kinda like this gimmick. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big Poppa Popick Report post Posted February 11, 2003 i like it too Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Angle-plex Report post Posted February 11, 2003 But who is Hot NewzWIRE~?!?!?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest AndrewisyourHero Report post Posted February 11, 2003 Supershit, obviously Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Angle-plex Report post Posted February 11, 2003 Say it ain't so, SS~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheSoleSurvivor Report post Posted February 11, 2003 Hey guys, remember when I was HHHthegame? Golden stuff I tell ya. Golden. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Superstar Report post Posted February 12, 2003 What the fuck? Who in their right mind would bump this thread? And who would say CWM is Sexy/Evenflow is smokin'? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheSoleSurvivor Report post Posted February 12, 2003 Yeah, God, anyone who bumps this thread is an idiot. Worst. Thread. Ever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Angle-plex Report post Posted February 12, 2003 Hey guys, remember when I was HHHthegame? Golden stuff I tell ya. Golden. That was GOLD until it was revealed it was you, TSS. The person who said the CWM/Evenflow is sexy~! is obviously homosexual. That leaves only 3 options: Popick, Zack, and Superstar. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Superstar Report post Posted February 12, 2003 You know it's bad when AGNES insults people. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest caboose Report post Posted February 12, 2003 You know it's bad when AGNES insults people. The key to Agnes insults is simple, no-sell them and call him a jobbah~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
