SJL Metal Card December 3rd

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Holy fucking shit. Marking looks alright on first glance, but I must say... the JL has a BARE-BONES roster. Yeesh. Anyhow... only 5 matches, and two aren't even really "matches"... one's a no-show-punishment match, and the other's a "Dark Match" kinda-sorta that Crusen said that I could book. As for the other three matches... well, I think they're pretty damn good, actually, for what I had. Anyhow... get writing, sluts. We need some promos, so GO GO GO!!!

 

SJL METAL CARD - December 3rd, 2002

Due Date: ...eh, sometime on Tuesday... preferably Monday night.

Venue: Anaheim Pond, in Anaheim, California!!

Send everything to: TheBostonStrangler

 

Johnny Dangerous' Victory Speech

- Johnny "The Barracuda" Dangerous shares with us some deep thoughts, and reflects on his "not-quite-up-to-par-with-TNT career, and most of all, his glorious, glorious World Title win.

 

DARK MATCH

Blank vs. "The Mountain" Mike Moran

- Mike Moran, some fresh-blood here in the SJL, wishes to help fill out a lacklustre car--... uh, make a name for himself by facing that old skateboarding guy who could possibly be dead, Blank. I don't think Blank's alive, but I needed another match, and this guy really wanted to write, and Crusen said it was ok... so, go at it boys.

Match Description - Standard Match... I'm not gonna just go out and SAY that it'll be a squash match... but ehn... it'll be a squash match, I'm sure.

Word Limit: 3500

Send to: Tod deKindes

 

FIGHT CLUB... FIGHT

Tyler Durden vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins

- Spike has done a lot of no-showing lately, AND he hates the movie Fight Club, so his punishment... is THIS, and he BETTER fucking show up. Silent will be writing Tyler's match... so have fun.

Match Description - Well, use your imagination. You COULD have a trippy multiple personality experience as your match, OR just a match going by Fight Club Rules. The main thing here is that the more Fight Club references you jam in there, the better chances you'll have of winning. Oh, and Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas references get extra credit too. Sooo, yeah, there're no real rules to writing this, just let your imagination take control.

Word Limit: 3000

Send to: realitycheck

 

NO-DQ MATCH FOR THE #1 CONTENDERSHIP OF THE EJIROPEAN TITLE

"Insane Luchadore" Andrew Rickmen vs. Janus vs. Arianwyn Rivenstone

- Well, IL both participated in and lost when given a chance at the World Title, via no-show one might add... so he's been sent back down to Euro. Land for a bit in order to regroup. Also, the mysterious and rather... uh, "interesting" Arianwyn Rivenstone has been added into the match, in a possible attempt at getting up to Euro. level fucking FAST. Same goes for the rapidly improving Janus. The No-DQ stip has also been added to let the deranged Arianwyn participate to her fullest, the... >insert exotic adjective here< Janus show a hardcore side, and the high-risk IL go all-out with some crazy shit involving jumping off of stuff.

Match Description - Disqualifications and Count-Outs aren't in effect, but it's not a HARDCORE match, so try to keep it down to just a few chairshots or something, 'kay guys/girls?

Word Limit: 4500

Send to: TheBostonStrangler

 

SINGLES MATCH FOR THE SJL EURO... UM... EJIROPEAN TITLE

Ejiro Fasaki vs. Dace Night

- The once-mediocre Ejiro has been impressing the hell out of people recently, and is being given a chance to prove himself by defending his title against the acclaimed Dace Night, who came THAT close to winning the WORLD title just a few nights ago. Dace winning here wouldn't hurt either, a steady title run could gain this guy a second chance at World Gold in no time.

Match Description - Ejiro's been defending his gold in wacked-out matches a lot recently, so this is just a normal singles match, in order to keep Ejiro sane.

Word Limit: 5000

Send to: Suicide King

 

SUBMISSION CAGE MATCH FOR THE SJL WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP

"Punk Rockstar" Matt Myers vs. Fugue

- Right... Fugue narrowly lost to Dangerous the other night, and... uh... well, since he's been around longer than Dace... and because I thought that it made sense while brainstorming this card, HE gets a shot AT a shot at the World Title. Brilliant. His opponent? Why, the returning [i coaxed him out of retirement before he was gone for longer than like, two weeks... (Y) @ me] former-champ, Matt Myers of course! A win here for Fugue would THRUST him into the Main Event scene [a main event match involving a chance to be in the main event, brilliant]... and a win from Myers... would, um... *runs away* *comes back* Ooh ooh, and I DO believe that there's SOME history between these two, as I myself booked a match between them for the EUROPEAN title a while back, where Matt barely won with his "best match ever, at the time." Will some improvement on Fugue's part and a wacky gimmick change the outcome THIS time?

Match Description - A large steel cage has been set up around the ring... you can choose whether it's a chainlink or a multi-colored faggot steel WWF-style cage, but try to specify which in your match. Both competitors are inside the cage, which is 20-feet tall. There is no door on the cage, and uh... if you leave the cage, you'll be shot, so just don't. Anyhow, only way to win the match is by making your opponent submit INSIDE the cage. Fugue obviously has the advantage here, what with the submitting and whatnot, but the cage gives Matt room for some wicked spots, and some crazy bumping. Sooo... uh, yeah, have a ball with this one, should be either good, or... not so much. Wheee.

Word Limit: 6001~!

Send to: 5_moves_of_doom

 

 

...Well, fuck, there she is... a bit overly-gimmicked, and a bit skimpy... but ehn, I tried... and though I doubt that I'll EVER be aloud to book EVER again, with THIS shitty card... it was fun anyway, thanks.

 

NOTE: The reason the card is up so late by the way, is that I'm fucktarded, and out-of-it, and it therefore took me FOREVER to decide on a gimmick for the Main Event. So... yeah, sorry.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Yeah... uh... once again, sorry.

 

- Taylor "God I Fucking Suck" Thompson

[Guest Dace59]

Hey, I'm straight into another title match, what so bad about that.

 

Now, do I right for the title or voilent release?

[Guest Kibagami]

Nice card, especially given the roster for this show.

 

Passing out now.

 

S.

[Guest KingOfOldSchool]

You know. After seeing this card, I was tempted to fill out the roster by throwing my hat back into the ring, so to speak.

 

...

 

But then I said, "fuck it", and came to the conclusion that the fire would only last for two or three matches. But you still did your best with the sparse roster, TNT.

[janusd 0]

Hmm, no disqualification....I've been looking for a reason to have Janus cream someone with a chairshot, and I think I've just found it. Imagine all that muscle slamming a chair on your skull.

 

Yeah. Anyway, time to get writing. NO MERCY TO THE HEEL!!

 

Ah, question. Is this match under triple threat or elimination style rules?

[Guest Listen2Reason]

So, a match with Matt, eh? Hmmm... "Submission cage match"? Y'know, that could be very cool. All in all, I think it's a pretty good card.

 

(...damn, am I glad I've never said anything about Fight Club. )

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Ah, question. Is this match under triple threat or elimination style rules?

That would be triple-threat rules Janus, sorry for not making that clear.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

reflects on his "not-quite-up-to-par-with-TNT career

And you were JL World champion how many times exactly?

 

(note: I'm also aware I never was champ either, so don't bother )

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Righto, uh... I've suddenly realized that the cage/submission match description might have been a tad... drunkard-like... so maybe this AIM conversation between me and Matt will clear it up, since I'm too tired to type out specifics, heh.

 

atari92543: I'm reading the description.

Oakly777: (Y) @ that... just try to show, even if you show with a bad match.

Oakly777: okily doke...

atari92543: Were you on DRUGS.

Oakly777: ...Well, yes.

atari92543: Okay

atari92543: Explain to me it again

atari92543: There's no door

atari92543: So there's an empty hole in the cage.

Oakly777: ...no.

Oakly777: see... there's NO ESCAPE

atari92543: Or is there a door that can be like, opened for us to go inside, but the ref won't open it for us to go outsid.e

atari92543: I know, I know.

Oakly777: Noooo, the cage is LOWERED onto you two.

atari92543: Oooooooh.

atari92543: I see.

atari92543: Is there a roof to this structure?

Oakly777: ...no.

atari92543: Okay then.

atari92543: Just.

atari92543: No going outside of the cage, correctomudo?

Oakly777: yeah, basically... just play it off so that neither you nor Fugue are dumb enough to leave the cage.

Oakly777: but you CAN jump from the top.

Oakly777: that's encouraged.

atari92543: Hm.

atari92543: So play it off as if

atari92543: I star climbing

atari92543: Axis and King are all like "Stupid moron persons~! duur.."

atari92543: And then I jump and King is like "Oh dear me!"

Oakly777: ...Sure, why not.

atari92543: Oh deeeeeeeeeear me!

atari92543: Go ahead, say it out loud

atari92543: In a depe voice

atari92543: Think Scott Hall.

Oakly777: ...oh dear me.

Oakly777: But, yeah, no door... cage is lowered... competitors aren't retarded, so they don't try to climb out... that sums it up.

 

 

 

...BRILLIANT~!

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Hey everyone! Yes, folks, the historian is still around lurking from time to time. (slapping TNT for not giving him something to mark this week!)

 

Anyway. Just letting everyone know that the monthly rankings and title histories will be released a day late. I usually do the WF and JL histories all at once, and I'd like to wait for the PPV to come out tomorrow night before wrapping everything up. (Plus, it so happens that I have plans tomorrow, so meh.)

 

So expect my usual monthly Bucket-O-Fun on December 2nd.

 

Woo! That's it.

[janusd 0]

*looks around nervously, then raises his hand*

 

Can I have a promo?

 

(I'll also need to know who to send it to, and when the promo takes place. Can you tell I'm nervous? )

[Guest Tod deKindes]

You send promos and whatever to whoever's usually posting the show, unless otherwise specified.

[janusd 0]

In that case... *calls first promo of the card*

[Secret Agent 0]

Sorry charlie i gots opening promo already. but you can call the one after that.