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Guest Ash Ketchum

Promo: Merry Christmas

By Guest Ash Ketchum, in Smarks Wrestling Federation

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Guest Ash Ketchum   

Guest Ash Ketchum
Posted

~DECEMBER 25TH, 2002-ST. PETERSBURG REGIONAL HOSPITAL-ST. PETERSBURG, FLORIDA-4:32 AM~

 

After driving like a maniac from the airport to get here as fast as possible, Michael Craven throws the hospital’s front doors open. In a group in the lobby are the following people:

 

Michael’s leendary father Ken Craven, his wife and Michael’s mother Deborah, his brother Kenny “KJ” Craven, also a pro wrestler known as KJ Walker, Michael’s sister Sarah, who is an accountant, all of whom were visiting Tampa for the holidays. Next to them are Anton and Amy Xiang Wheeler, the parents of Michael’s wife, as well as Michael’s brother-in-law and a former collegiate wrestling All-American at the University of Pittsburgh, Tom Wheeler, plus the Craven’s doctor, Dr. Malik Greenberg. The doctor looks up and notices Craven immediately.

 

“Mr. Craven! I’m glad to see you.”

 

Mike immeidately begins to ask questions. “Where is she?!?! Is she OK?!?!”

 

Greenberg begins to explain. “Your wife is in Room 212, and-”

 

“Can I see my wife? Let me see her!!!” Craven interjects, concerned greatly about his wife’s condition and the condition of their child.

 

“Mr. Craven-”

 

“Is she OK, doc? I was told she was awfully sick...”

 

That is met with awkward silence for a few moments, the doctor looking puzzled as Michael’s younger brother, Kenny, aka the newest NWA-TNA addition, KJ Walker, finally speaks up.

 

“Well...”

 

Craven turns around, trembling half in fear, and now, in anger.

 

“TELL ME!!!” Craven screams in fear. “I FLEW BACK HERE TO SEE MY WIFE! YOU SAID SHE WAS VERY SICK AND WAS HAVING OUR BABY, DAMMIT!!! NOW SPEAK!”

 

Mike’s father, former AWA Tag Team Champion and WWF World Champion Ken Craven, better known as Kull The Conqueror, interrupts his son’s tirade.

 

“Ummm, Michael... son... Amy was never as sick as we told you.”

 

...

 

“WHAT?!?!?!”

 

Kenny speaks up. “We’re sorry, but we knew that was the only way to get you out of Cleveland-”

 

Bad idea. Michael Craven rushes his brother, grabbing him and lifting him up to his face in a double choke hold. Kenny gasps for air as Craven loses it.

 

“NEVER PULL THAT SHIT WITH ME EVER AGAIN, KENNY! OR I’LL FUCKIN’ CRIPPLE YOU SO BAD THAT YOU’LLBE THE ONE LYING IN A HOSPITAL BED WEAK AS ALL HELL!”

 

Michael’s hold on his brother is broken by his own father as he restrains him, holding him back from going postal and wrecking a hospital wing... or two.

 

“CALM DOWN!!! IT’S OK!!! Michael! Calm down!!!”

 

“NO IT’S NOT!” Michael is slowly calming down, coming off of his moment of rage. “Don’t joke about these kind of things, Kenny! Seriously. Did Dad even know you said that?”

 

“Ummmm... no...”

 

Michael Craven slaps himself in the face. He should have known better, but he’s too stressed and tired to even bother killing his brother... for now.

 

“Mr. Craven?” Craven turns around to find Dr. Greenberg again. This time, he is carrying a clipboard with papers on it. He looks up and smiles happily. “Your wife is ready to see you now.”

 

 

*************************

 

Several minutes later, Michael Craven opens the door to Room 212. The beeps of several different monitors seen to ring out in unison as Craven enters to see his wife, laying in a bed, their newborn baby. Amy smiles as she sees Mike. Craven walks towards his wife’s bedside and gently sits on it. He kisses his wife first before he doesn anything else, then looks down to see the newbron child.

 

“So... how are you two doing?”

 

“Oh, we’re doing well.” Amy softly questions. She’s still rather weak from the delivery, but it looks as if she’ll be OK. “I’m a bit exhausted, and the little one is asleep. But what took you so long?”

 

“Flight got delayed at Cleveland. We had a storm hit just before take-off, got the runways a mess. I was stuck for at least two, maybe three hours. Slept on the plane while we were boarded at the gate.”

 

“Oh...”

 

“Yeah.” Craven’s smile slowly disappears as he continues. “I have to fly back tomorrow to sign that damn contract...”

 

“You didn’t sign it?” Amy seems kind of upset.

 

“Nope. Call came in the middle of the meeting.”

 

“Oh...” Amy Craven looks a little lost for a moment, forgetting something important she was supposed to ask her husband. After about a minute, she finally remembers and asks:

 

 

 

 

 

“So... what are we going to name her?”

 

“I was thinking about it last night, and I had an idea.”

Amy smiles and nods, signaling for Mike to continue. “How about Hollyanna Rose Craven?”

 

There is a brief pause as Amy starts to wonder how Mike came up with the name.

 

“Now, how’d you come up with that?”

 

Luckily, Mike was well prepared for something like this happening, but just not at this exact moment, and so he rushes into the whole explanation.

 

“Rose is your middle name, and the Holly comes from her being born on Christmas-”

 

“And the Anna?” Amy wonders.

 

“Guess.”

 

Another brief pause here as Amy tries to figure it out. We say brief because it doesn’t take long for the new mother to figure out who it is... and think up a good arguing point.

 

“Why would you name your kid after her, Michael? You know, she turned on you and stabbed you in the back. TWICE. Why not something like Sarah, or Sydney?”

 

Mike begins to go into a sudden mini-rant. “Because she was the first person I brought into the SWF, my first student, so to speak. Even though she did do as you said. But we all make mistakes, Amy. You have to forgive people. Besides, it’s better than naming her Hollymagnifica. Or Hollyedwina. Or Holly-”

 

”All right... I get the point.” Amy smiles and tries not to laugh at her husband’s smart-ass comments. “Hollyanna Rose it is.”

 

Mike reaches over and kisses his wife, smiling as his long journey back to his wife and newborn daughter ends.

 

“Amy... no one right now could make me feel angry-”

 

Suddenly, the door to the room flies open. Mike turns around to see his brother, Kenny, standing in the doorway, quite excited about something.

 

“Hey, Mike! Hurry up! The PPV replay is on the Smarks Network for free!!! We’re all gonna tune in to see Flesher and Magnifico fight! Flesher is soooo the bomb!”

 

Mike’s eyes narrow at that comment, and he begins to frown at his brother.

 

“Kenny... you better run before I rip your neck off!!!”

 

Kenny freaks out and quickly ducks out of the room, screaming for a second as Amy Craven’s expression changes from joy to anger at her husband. Well, at least for the moment.

 

“Michael!”

 

Mike turns back around to his wife with a confused look on his face.

 

“Hey, what did I do wrong, honey?”

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Guest chirs3   

Guest chirs3
Posted

I fear for that child's well-being...

 

... especially if she becomes a Digi-mon freak... ;)

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom   

Guest 5_moves_of_doom
Posted
....

Oh what's wrong Annie? Not proud to be Ash's "student" and yet still get bumped before him? :P

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Guest kelloggs   

Guest kelloggs
Posted

While I still mantain the fact that Holly Allison Craven would have been a much better name, "Damien Onita MacPhisto" has a ring to it.

 

I'd still go with Holly Allison Craven because I thought it up...

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Guest Kibagami   

Guest Kibagami
Posted

...is this one of those Pokemon things I will choose to blindly hate instead of understand?

 

K.

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom   

Guest 5_moves_of_doom
Posted
You guys do some...interesting stuff here.

No, *we* don't, *Ash* does.

 

Oh, and Silent, "Wartortle" or whatever... Now THAT's a name.

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom   

Guest 5_moves_of_doom
Posted
Squirtle???

 

Motherfucking Articuno, yo!

 

RepreSENT!

 

-Annie

I change my mind, Annie is obviously the genius of the bunch.

 

...though Venisaur would be pretty swank.

 

No, wait... CHARIZARD~! YAH! That card was worth a gazillion dollars, if I remember correctly...

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Guest Kibagami   

Guest Kibagami
Posted

See, now, why the fuck do you know their names? I hope you're getting paid a REALLY good salary for filling your brain with that sort of shit.

 

K.

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom   

Guest 5_moves_of_doom
Posted

...I think "Green Ranger" would work, too... hmmm...

 

- Taylor "Now I Have To Top THAT..." Thompson

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Guest Muzz   

Guest Muzz
Posted

I can just see Misty at the delivery, as she gives birth to a pokeball, only for Ash to scream, "Holly-Anna! Go!" And the kid comes flying out.

 

... Yeah.

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Guest Kibagami   

Guest Kibagami
Posted

MUST FIGHT VISUAL! MUST FIGHT VISUAL!

 

URK!

 

VISUAL IS WINNING! VISUAL IS WINNING!

 

K.

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