Could you Fight this PREACHER and win???

[Guest Kingpk]

Kotz, if you're doing what I think you're doing, then I don't know if I want such a potent weapon in the Free Republic of Kyliedom.

 

*Sends the inspectors*

[Guest Dopey]

(RatsMilk holds Dopey at gunpoint and throws him a banana)

"Stick that banana in your buttcrack, then dance around in a circle while saying 'I was born out of Satan's ass.' ... Do it, godboy!"

...Dopey's legs getting tired from dancing around in a circle. "Hey, what's wrong with you kid? Did your mom torture you when you were young? What exactly made you turn from walking with God? I don't think your mom is really a slut, is she? That whole 'my mom's a slut thing is just an act, right?" Dopey stops dancing and waits to hear the answer from I Drink Rat's Milk.

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

I'm not saying MY mom is a slut. I explained my sig on page one of the "Is it just me or are a lot of morons new here?" thread.

 

..."The reason I turned from walking with god is that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."

*lays Dopey out with devastating finisher, The Mark Of the Beast*

[Guest Dopey]

f*cking chickens with no ribs.

 

That is, indeed, why I have no time for Dopey.

 

(Flyboy will get this)

..."What in the blue-hades does that mean? If you're gonna Kylie Mogalee gangsta rap on me, at least make sense! Katzahumpin!!!" Dopey shakes his head in the middle of the ring. "Oh, and here's one more thing. Gangsta rap is evil. Sing things that are uplifting or don't sing at all!!!"

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

*sings Nick Cave while whipping Dopey's ass six ways from sunday*

[Guest Dopey]

..."The reason I turned from walking with god is that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."

*lays Dopey out with devastating finisher, The Mark Of the Beast*

..."Holy smokes, that hurt." Dopey rubbing his head looks up from the floor. "How did I get out of the ring?" Big John McCarthy bends down and says, "That Rat's Milk kid hit you with 'The Mark Of The Beast'. Laid you out cold, then push/kicked you out of the ring."

Dopey looks around for Rat's Milk, "Hey, any you jokers seen that Rat's Milk kid?" he yells at the front row.

[Guest Dopey]

Kotz, if you're doing what I think you're doing, then I don't know if I want such a potent weapon in the Free Republic of Kyliedom.

 

*Sends the inspectors*

..."Hey, hey, hey, there will be no talk about that commie Kyliedom in this thread, Kingpin. Communisim is evil. Any system of government that states that there is no God, is buck wild evil. And on top of that the commies don't know how to dress." Dopey lifts his finger and points toward the exits.

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

*hits an attack so devastating it brings down the entire forums*

 

...No really. I was just browsing by this thread and the forums suddently blew up with an out of memory error.

[Guest Dopey]

*hits an attack so devastating it brings down the entire forums*

...After Jobber threw Dopey back in the ring, he went into JOBESERKER mode. Blood flying from Dopey' face at all angles. The first two rows were covered in crimson and screaming in horror. By the time Big John could pull Jobber off Dopey, it was too late. Dopey was laying on the blood stained mat looking like a 150lb blender hit him.

They rushed the doctors in to see if he was alive-- "Hey, it's alright guys I got this one." Spider Poet spoke softly to the doctors and medical staff in the ring. They quietly backed off and looked with confusion at him.

"Father, Lord God, I know that Dopey was a little hard headed and never listened to me or anyone trying to help him. But Lord we need him back on the SM board, with all the evil that El Satanico and others well you know...Please Father Bring him back to us, I pray in Your Son's name, amen."

 

The crowd stood silent and in Awe, while the ring began to shake and Dopey came back to life and was pulled to his feet by God. "Thanks Father, now could you give him a lude and calm him down." Spider Poet quietly walked out of the ring and headed toward the back.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

This is the lamest battle royal thread ever. And that's saying something.

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

(after the battle royal, Dopey gets down on his knees for a little one on one with the Lord)

Dopey:"Hey Jesus, you missed a great match! Rat's Milk was whipping my sorry ass, but then he said this is stupid, and he left, and I won!"

[Guest SP-1]

Okay. I really wish I were a mod right now because I'd find a way to close this stupid thread down. Someone should "accidentally" delete the thing, you can do that at any time.

 

Now. Dopey, let me begin by saying that I respect you, if you've really been through the training and such that you claim.

 

Now.

 

This is rediculous. It's not getting the true gospel across to anyone, it isn't helping get your views across. All it's doing it either making people angry or causing you to be mocked. And no, don't throw me the verses about how we will be abused and whatknot in the world, because it doesn't apply if you're being a freaking idiot and inviting it upon yourself.

 

I know you'd probably like some backup from one of the other vocal Christians on the board, but I hope you noticed that we've not stepped up to do that. I cannot speak for the others, but I can speak for myself. I cannot support this kind of behavior here, I refuse to. It's childish, arrogant, and very disrespectful to the others that are here that do not share our beliefs. If you want to call that sin, fine, I'll retort with the fact that we are called to love the sinners and hate the sin. I don't think it's sin in itself. It's just not knowing, it's simply not being aware of, or not being in the grip of Grace at all. We cannot force that upon anyone, so stop trying.

 

I took a backseat for a couple of days as far as really digging into these discussions. Why? Because I'm sick and tired of taking the time to put across that not all of us Christians are pig-headed, stubborn jerks that try to force feed things without preamble down everyone's throats, and having some shock-preacher roll through here negating that work.

 

And it is not just work. It is who I am, and quite frankly I am starting to take offense that those qualities are being steamrolled by a loud mouth that spouts verse and makes no effort to expand on it.

 

In short: Please contribute or find somewhere else to do this. This style of spreading knowledge about God, this forceful style, is not suited to a message board filled with fairly intelligent people with existing strong dissatisfaction with religion in itself. You really are doing more harm than good and I cannot sit back for that any longer.

 

Calm down. Leave. Whichever one works fine with me and I wish you good fortune and the Lord's presence either way.

 

in Peace,

SpiderPoet

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I agree with Spiderpoet, only I'm going to cuss.

 

First of all, what's the point of this thread? And before you reply with "Gosh fellas, it's just some good clean fun, wrasslin' with the lord and all..." I'm asking as a completely serious and rational human being...

 

"What is the point of this thread?"

 

Because it's not funny, it IS the lamest battle royal thread ever, even to the point where it got so tedious that I skipped over every Pulpit Championship Wrestling post. So the response that it's happy action fun minute is out the window.

 

Were you going for a serious theological discussion guised as a battle royal thread? Something like this??

 

"Holy fuck, his shoulders are down..one..two..three..He's down, folks. WAIT! Jesus Christ, Lazarus has risen. Fuck, Dopey does a Biblebomb to Banky, tears quad LOLOLOLZ"

 

Wee.

 

Fuck all that. You're better at randomly spewing out text that means as much to me as quoting Seuss and fucking saying "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish." It's not that I'm a half-wit and don't UNDERSTAND the message of the scripture, it's just that it's all fucking hogwash. And DON'T get that going into another pointless thread because we've been repeatedly stoning the filthy whore of religion on this board lately, and personally, I think it should all stay in one thread if it's just going to rage on and on. Not to say there's a problem with talking religion, because there's isn't. That's the only way to spread or control the stuff.

 

My fuckin' point: keep the religion with the religion, and the fuckin' nyuk nyuk gayness separate. There's no way this could've been that, and that makes you an utter tool.

 

You can take the highroad with this shit and drop it, and we can all roast marshmallows singin' kumbayah while Jingus or Tom or someone closes this retardation.

 

OR, you can reply with "Dopey gets on the stick and calls Agent a Book of Job-roni." While completely making everyone lose that last possible shred of respect for you and your opinions, if they by some fucking infinite forgiveness haven't done so already.

 

Shove this shit back in your asshole where it belongs.

[Guest Dopey]

'syn' WIT means a mode of expression intended to arouse amusment. WIT suggests the power to evoke laughter by remarks showing verbal felicity or ingenuity and swift perception esp. of the incongruous: Humor implies an ability to perceive the ludicrous, the comical, and the absurd in human life and to express these usu. without bitterness.

 

SATIRE \ 1: a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn 2: trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly

 

BANTER \ 1: to speak to or address in a witty and teasing manner 3: to speak or act playfully or wittily

2 banter n (1690) : good-natured and usu. witty and animated joking <exchanged ~with newsmen>

 

 

TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS BOARD: I apologize for using the above mentioned written techniques to commuicate humor and such. WIT, SATIRE, BANTER, are not used on this board. OK.

 

FROM NOW ON ONLY STRICT HUMORLESS DIALOGUE.

 

AND DON'T LAUGH AT ME!!! FOR THAT WOULD CONSTITUTE HUMOR.

 

NO SMILES EITHER.

 

AND NEVER FOR ANY REASON HAVE FUN.

 

This board is supposed to be a wrestling board. Where we take very seriously a man putting a sock on his hand and speaking through it and naming it Socko. Where a woman in the WCW came out with an evening gown and a sash that read "Miss Maddness". Where the Ralfus and Doink make policy. Where the owner of the largest wrestling company on earth runs around the ring with his pants down and waving a cowboy hat.

 

To recap: DO NOT USE WIT. DO NOT USE SATIRE. DO NOT USE BANTER.

DO NOT TRY AND HAVE FUN. If you do, you will be butchered like a common farm animal.

[Guest Dopey]

'syn' WIT means a mode of expression intended to arouse amusment. WIT suggests the power to evoke laughter by remarks showing verbal felicity or ingenuity and swift perception esp. of the incongruous: Humor implies an ability to perceive the ludicrous, the comical, and the absurd in human life and to express these usu. without bitterness.

 

SATIRE \ 1: a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn 2: trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly

 

BANTER \ 1: to speak to or address in a witty and teasing manner 3: to speak or act playfully or wittily

2 banter n (1690) : good-natured and usu. witty and animated joking <exchanged ~with newsmen>

 

 

TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS BOARD: I apologize for using the above mentioned written techniques to commuicate humor and such. WIT, SATIRE, BANTER, are not used on this board. OK.

 

FROM NOW ON ONLY STRICT HUMORLESS DIALOGUE.

 

AND DON'T LAUGH AT ME!!! FOR THAT WOULD CONSTITUTE HUMOR.

 

NO SMILES EITHER.

 

AND NEVER FOR ANY REASON HAVE FUN.

 

This board is supposed to be a wrestling board. Where we take very seriously a man putting a sock on his hand and speaking through it and naming it Socko. Where a woman in the WCW came out with an evening gown and a sash that read "Miss Maddness". Where the Ralfus and Doink make policy. Where the owner of the largest wrestling company on earth runs around the ring with his pants down and waving a cowboy hat.

 

To recap: DO NOT USE WIT. DO NOT USE SATIRE. DO NOT USE BANTER.

DO NOT TRY AND HAVE FUN. If you do, you will be butchered like a common farm animal.

Oh yea, I don't suggest you make another post on this thread. It might be construed as you using satire.

[Guest SP-1]

Bah. Dopey, trying to make people laugh is admirable. When your current method is blatantly failing, and in fact having an effect of agitation and anger, you should try to find a new method of execution to convey your humor.

 

People are getting agitated with your in-your-face style of preaching. I'd venture a guess that a much more strict version of it was used to shove religion down alot of people's throats. This is not the way we are called to spread the Gospel. We are called to the law of love and I know you know that. Just knowing people, and letting Jesus shine through you will open up so many doors. Don't be ashamed to share your faith. But do it personally.

 

Even Paul wrote very personally in his epistles. Take a note from that. God used the personal experience of men to breathe His Word into. Why should we try and take any other route?

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

as well, one of the other somewhat vocal christians *and the only catholic i think, looks at sig*

 

This really didn't help anyone Dopey, and your constant need to justify and say "Hi guys, I'm right" only serves to show just how wrong you really are.

 

How deep of a hole do we need to dig here?

 

Someone end this.

[Guest DrTom]

It's amazing how people claim they were trying to be funny when everyone shouts them down for beating browbeating fucksticks with burs in their shorts.

 

This thread is closed. And I'd better not see another one like it.