SJL Wrath Card, February 9th, 2003

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

SJL WRATH

February 9th, 2003

 

Venue: Sydney Opera House in Sydney, Australia! WORLD TOUR GOODNESS! G'DAY!

Due Date: Sunday, February 9th, 2003 at 6 pm EST. No extensions.

Send Promos To: realitycheck. I think. I'm so confused.

 

IMPORTANT NOTES:

 

Due to the turnout for Metal, JLCC has decided to cancel the tournament for the SJL World title. Instead, those involved in Metal's main event will have mandatory punishment matches, and the World title will be decided on Wrath among those that actually showed for Metal. Note the minimum word limits in the two punishment matches. Any matches turned in under the minimum will be immediately thrown out by the marker, resulting in a no show. And anyone who no shows Wrath will face Strangler's fury. Finally, credit goes out to Sydney Sky for thinking up the stipulation for Punishment Match #2. Fear her.

 

WRATH CARD:

 

OPENING PROMO OF COOLOSITY

Description: Someone in the SJL has requested this promo time to kick off the show. Who is it? A vet? A n00b? Cutthroat? I guess you'll have to wait and see!

Send To: realitycheck

 

NEWBIE MATCH OF DOOM~!

Fosta vs. Tryst

Description: The two latest in our flood of SJL newbies tangle for the first time here on Wrath. Will Fosta be successful against the--er, unusual, Tryst? Will Tryst make it out of Nottingham? Will I ever get to sleep? And will I ever come up with an original joke?

Rules: Standard singles match. Regular DQ and pinfall rules apply.

Word Limit: 3000

Send To: TheBostonStrangler

 

EUROPEAN TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP

Aecas vs. Sean Atlas

Special Guest Referee: Chris Card

Description: These two looked good in their debut match on Metal. Now one of them will be on the fast track through the SJL with a chance to get the first shot at new European Champion Chris Card. Card has offered to officiate this match in an effort to scout out his competition.

Rules: Standard singles match. Regular DQ and pinfall rules apply. Chris Card will be the special guest referee. Card, you can write a match if you want to, but it isn't necessary. If you do, make sure there is a clear winner.

Word Limit: 3500

Send To: WrestlingDeacon

 

PUNISHMENT MATCH #1 - THE KANGAROO JACK MATCH

Dace Night vs. Matt Myers

Description: Apparent lack of communication on Metal from this team caused the crapfest that was our main event. Therefore, this is your punishment match. Note the Australian flavor in the stipulation, and good luck.

Rules: Singles match. No disqualification. Pinfalls and submissions must occur inside the ring. Both competitors must wrestle wearing oversized kangaroo costumes. If a competitor does not adhere to this rule, he will forfeit the match.

Word Limit: 4000

Minimum Word Limit: 2000

Send To: Tod deKindes

 

HARDCORE FILLER MATCH

Christian Blackwell vs. Omega Storm

Description: Yeah, these two have faced each other once already, but I ran out of other guys to book. Therefore, we'll up the ante a bit with the hardcore stipulation, and also throw in an Insane Eddy Mac Style Word Limit to keep things interesting.

Rules: Hardcore rules apply. No disqualification. Pinfalls and submissions can occur anywhere.

Word Limit: 3692

Send To: AnnieEclectic

 

PUNISHMENT MATCH #2 - THE BALL CRAWL MATCH

Crow vs. Insane Luchador vs. Spike Jenkins

Description: This team turned in nothing for the Metal main event and will now be forced to suffer the consequences in this punishment match. Anyway, you know those little Ball Crawl areas at McDonalds playgrounds? The ones with hundreds of multicolored little plastic balls...? Good luck trying to wrestle when you're maneuvering through those.

Rules: Once all three competitors enter the ring, a ten-foot-high hard, thick clear plastic cage wall will descend over the ring, trapping the competitors inside. Then, millions of multicolored plastic balls will be released into the ring, filling to a depth of about three feet. Every five minutes after the match starts, more balls will be released from the ceiling, making it that much harder to move about in the match. The only way to win is to escape the cage with both feet touching the floor outside. The plastic wall has no handholds, but competitors can likely escape by standing on the top turnbuckle and climbing up and over.

Word Limit: 4500

Minimum Word Limit: 2000

Send To: Longdogger_Pete

 

MAIN EVENT

SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

NO-DQ, NON-INTERFERENCE

Janus vs. Mike Van Siclen

Description: With everyone else in the tournament busy trying to make up to JLCC, these two are left in the hunt for the SJL World Championship, which has been vacant since Wildchild's promotion to the SWF roster. Who will be your next World champion? Will it be Janus, making a comeback after his European title loss to Chris Card and capping off an incredible run to the top in the SJL? Or will it be Mike Van Siclen, a veteran who has come close to this point many times but has yet to achieve the big win? Find out this Sunday on Wrath!

Rules: Singles match. No disqualification. Pinfalls or submissions must occur inside the ring. No interference will be allowed in this match.

Word Limit: 6000

Send To: realitycheck

[janusd 0]

Venue: Sydney Opera House in Sydney, Australia!

 

FUCK YES!!!

 

Sydney, Australia. Hometown pops baby! Also the only place a heel Janus is going to get serious face heat. I mean, come on, it's his hometown baby.

 

*marks out like a rabid dingo!*

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Dude, the ball crawl match is a *punishment?*

 

I wish we had sweet-ass punishments like that back in my day.

[Guest Aecas]

I've got a shot at the European championship?

 

Hell yes

[Guest Dace59]

*Would like to point out that it was his fault and not Myers' in any way shape or form.*

 

*Copies and pastes from DDT match reports*

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Once again, let me note there is no underscore in "WrestlingDeacon" it's all one word. If you send it with an underscore it goes to a guy living in his parent's basement in Utah who drives a K-Car and has a fetish for blind women. I'm a totally different cat, I live in Ohio.

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Fixed, Frost.

[Guest Powerplay]

MAIN EVENT

SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

NO-DQ, NON-INTERFERENCE

Janus vs. Mike Van Siclen

Description: With everyone else in the tournament busy trying to make up to JLCC, these two are left in the hunt for the SJL World Championship, which has been vacant since Wildchild's promotion to the SWF roster.  Who will be your next World champion?  Will it be Janus, making a comeback after his European title loss to Chris Card and capping off an incredible run to the top in the SJL?  Or will it be Mike Van Siclen, a veteran who has come close to this point many times but has yet to achieve the big win?  Find out this Sunday on Wrath!

Rules: Singles match.  No disqualification.  Pinfalls or submissions must occur inside the ring.  No interference will be allowed in this match.

Word Limit: 6000

Send To: realitycheck

I'm very ticked off at this match with the quality of the last few Mike has produced. I personally think Dace would have been a better choice.

 

Janus, the more jokes you make about Mike tapping out to me, the more I shall heap chat rewards upon you. And you'd BETTER win, man.

 

BTW, the ball crawl match fucking rules you all. Best. Punishment. Ever.

[Guest Dace59]

Judge, it wasn't really Matt's fault.

 

At least he wrote what he said he would.

I didn't.

 

*Is tempted to write something in his match this time*

[Atlas 0]

Oooh, a shot at the Euro title? Beautiful. That word limit is going to kill me though...

[Guest Aecas]

Whys that?

 

The last match had a larger limit than that.

 

Anyway, if I can't sort out my punctuation you are probably guaranteed a win

[Atlas 0]

The last match had a larger limit than that.

 

That's the point. I wrote past the limit last time, and had to trim it down to 3750 exactly. This one's gonna be even more condensed.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

New stipulation: dingo eats the loser's baby.

 

Or not.

[Guest Aecas]

Ah I see.

 

Oh well....

 

*cracks knuckles agonisingly*

 

I've been to the gym so its time to sit down and start writing.

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

Dude, the ball crawl match is a *punishment?*

Thats what I said!

[Guest Insanityman]

Damn... I will find way to make this match brutal too... but I still think "Wallabe on a Pole" would of been better.

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

Judge: MVS showed up. The others didn't. That simple.

[Guest Listen2Reason]

Dude, the ball crawl match is a *punishment?*

Thats what I said!

Amen. Ball crawl = (Y)!

[Guest Pa|adin]

PUNISHMENT MATCH #1 - THE KANGAROO JACK MATCH

Dace Night vs. Matt Myers

Description: Apparent lack of communication on Metal from this team caused the crapfest that was our main event. Therefore, this is your punishment match. Note the Australian flavor in the stipulation, and good luck.

Rules: Singles match. No disqualification. Pinfalls and submissions must occur inside the ring. Both competitors must wrestle wearing oversized kangaroo costumes. If a competitor does not adhere to this rule, he will forfeit the match.

Word Limit: 4000

Minimum Word Limit: 2000

Send To: Tod deKindes

I was hoping for this to be a triple threat, with an actual boxing kangaroo in the ring, but oh well.

 

Hardcore match sounds great, better get to writing quick smart.

[Guest Dace59]

Triple threat?

One on a card is bad enough.

 

[Guest Suicide King]

I am most pleased with the latest crop of JL talent. I am filled with hope for the future. Bow down and worship Strangler as your god, and one day you can stop and worship me instead.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Two matches in my box. I like. Onto reading ...

 

So do we definitely send to Zenon or not?

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

I <3 teh SJL.

 

Just thought that this would be an appropriate place to mention this.

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Yes. Send to Zed.