SmackDown Losing Matches :(

[Secret Agent 0]

Sorry, WIldchild... I tried.

 

Well for all two of you around here that like to read what didn't make the cut, comments are appreaciated(Ejiro), flames too for me.

 

Thanks, yo!

 

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“Folks, coming up next is a contender’s match for the tag team titles!” says Mark Stevens as the announce team breaks in following a commercial break. “We are going to see the newly formed Instruments of Destruction in Triple Threat action against the new duo of Déjà Vu and the returning team of Wild and Dangerous. Bobby, I’m going to assume you’re rooting for IOD in this match?”

 

“Absolutely,” replies Bobby Riley. “You’ve gotta go with the Instruments of Destruction. First of all, they have the Magnificent Seven’s pedigree all over them, and you can’t go wrong any time you put two M7 guys together. Plus, they have a substantial size advantage; Janus is the only true big man involved in this match, and I’m sure he’s going to enjoy tossing those little guys around the ring.”

 

“Well, he probably didn’t like it too much when he got pinned by Wildchild on Lockdown,” says Stevens mirthfully.

 

“It was a fluke,” snaps Riley. “Besides, Van Siclen did most of the damage to Janus anyway; you can’t really believe that Wildchild could have beaten the Hell Machine one on one.”

 

Stevens rolls his eyes. “Anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Wild and Dangerous win this match. They’ve got the most experience wrestling as a tag team, having competed a team together since they were in the SJL, and even though this is the first time they’ve teamed together since Johnny’s suspension, their last match together saw them getting the win over the much more experience Perfect Bo and Jay Dawg.”

 

“PFFFFFT,” snorts Riley. “That match was the fluke of all flukes. And they were handicapped by Bo’s heart condition, anyway.”

 

Before Riley can get another word in, the speakers in the Skyreach Centre come alive with the sounds of Nappy Roots’ “Awnaw,” and spotlights begin scanning the arena, searching through the crowd for the members of Déjà Vu. Kris is seen coming down one aisle as another spotlight focuses on Kross entering from the opposite side of the arena. They approach ringside simultaneously, hopping over the barricade and sliding into the ring.

 

Inside the ring, Funyon announces their arrival. “The following contest is a Triple Threat tag team match, to determine the number one contenders to the SWF Tag Team Championship! In the ring at this time, from Las Vegas, Nevada, at a total combined weight of four hundred thirteen pounds, Kris! Kross! DEEEEEY-JAAAA VUUUUUU!!”

 

The twins go through their self-congratulatory ritual, saying to each other, “You Da Man!” They then each walk to opposing corners of the ring and climb onto the middle turnbuckle, flashing their hand signals to a mild crowd reaction.

 

“Well, Déjà Vu got a few cheers on their way out here,” says Stevens, “but the crowd’s reaction seemed rather subdued, don’t you think?”

 

“That’s probably because nobody here actually believes they can win,” replies Riley. “Let’s face it, these two kids aren’t wrestlers; they’re only in the company because of the commissioner’s sick sense of humor.”

 

HERE WE ARE!

 

BORN TO BE KINGS, WE’RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE!

 

Déjà Vu’s music ends abruptly to be replaced by Queen’s “Princes of the Universe,” as Janus and Fugue make their way out onto the ramp. “Introducing their opponents,” continues Funyon, “representing the Magnificent Seven, at a total combined weight of five hundred thirty-one pounds… Janus! Fugue! The Instruments of Destruction!”

 

“My pick to win the match,” repeats Riley confidently. “They’ve got the wrestling ability, and they’ve got the power!” Déjà Vu flees to the safety of the arena floor as the IOD enter and stare into the ring with awe at the monstrous Janus.

 

“Boy, does Janus look irate,” says Stevens. “I think he’s still angry over losing to Wildchild on Lockdown.”

 

“Well, can you blame him,” replies Riley. “That title shot was his for the taking, and he had it snatched out from under him by some circus freak!”

 

Fugue stands in front of his partner, trying to grab the giant’s attention as their music dies down. Suddenly, the crowd comes alive as the up-tempo instrumental beat of 50 Cent’s “In Da Club” begins pumping through the arena. Fans rush over to the barricade to catch a glimpse of Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous as they step out onto the ramp. “And their opponents,” concludes Funyon, “at a total combined weight of four hundred twenty-seven pounds, Wild! And Daaaaangerous!”

 

Johnny and Wildchild run to the ring and slide underneath the bottom rope, popping to their feet and engaging their M7 rivals in a stare-off. Janus glares at Wildchild, as if trying to burn a hole through him with the power of his mind. “Check out the look in those eyes,” says Riley fearfully. “I’d hate to have him looking at me like that!”

 

The referee directs each team to pick one man to exit to the ring apron, and Fugue, after a terse whispered conversation in his corner, convinces Janus to start the match on the outside. Johnny exits to the ring apron after a quick high-five to his partner and Kris slides into the ring enthusiastically, having won the right to start the match over his brother in a grueling game of craps. “What the hell are they doing with dice down at ringside,” Stevens practically shouts.

 

“Eh, who the hell cares,” says Riley nonchalantly. “They’re rich, and they’re about to get killed anyway, so let them have a little fun before they die.”

 

The referee orders the timekeeper to ring the bell and the match starts! Wildchild, Kris and Fugue circle each other in the ring tentatively, each man hesitant to blink first. They continue to circle until Wildchild unwittingly finds himself in the M7’s corner, and Janus reaches his giant hand into the ring, grabbing Wildchild from behind by the hair and yanking him backwards off his feet. Wildchild immediately pops back up and charges the corner after Janus, only to be blind-sided by Fugue!

 

“Well, that brought a smile to his face,” says Riley, as Fugue hammers on Wildchild’s upper back before pulling him out of the corner and applying an arm-wringer. Wildchild grabs the Maestro’s wrist with his free arm and reverses into an arm-wringer of his own, stepping into Fugue and taking the smaller man off his feet with a standing armdrag! Kris charges Wildchild and gets sent into the air with a backdrop for his troubles. Fugue rolls back to his feet and rushes right into a hiptoss, then Kris stands up and finds a hiptoss of his own! Wildchild spins around just in time to duck a lariat attempt by Fugue as Kris rolls to his feet, and both Wildchild and Kris leapfrog the Musician as he rebounds off the ropes. Kris stays on the ground, allowing Fugue to run over the top of him on the return, and Wildchild leaps backwards into the air, knocking the Maestro back down with a backflip kick! The Bahaman rolls onto his shoulders and handsprings to his feet as Kris simultaneously pounces off the mat in a crouched position, and Wildchild swivels back around to face-off with Kris as the crowd expresses their approval of the previous sequence.

 

“I’m so sick seeing that spot,” gripes Riley. “It’s so damn cliché now. Everybody’s trying to rip off Rob Van Dam with that ‘face-off’ spot, and it’s not even all that special…”

 

“Well, considering that Wildchild just got the better of two guys,” replies Stevens, “one might think that it was maybe a little bit special.” Wildchild, with his back to Janus, stares across the ring at his two rivals, when suddenly, he spins around and leaps into the air, blasting the unsuspecting Hell Machine with a dropkick that sends him falling off the apron to the arena floor!

 

“Cheap shot,” roars Riley. “There was no call for that whatsoever!” Wildchild pops back up to his feet and turns to face Janus outside the ring, barking obscenities at him.

 

“Funny how I didn’t hear you say anything about Janus distracting Wildchild from outside the ring,” replies Stevens. Fugue rushes after Wildchild, but the Bahama Bomber turns his attention back to the ring just in time, and sends the Maestro sailing out of the ring with a backdrop, right into the arms of his unsuspecting partner, knocking them both down.

 

“Wildchild is giving the IOD what for,” says Stevens, “and the fans are just eating it up!” Kris tries to take advantage of Wildchild with a running dropkick, but catches both his feet in mid-air as he falls helplessly to the mat. Wildchild locks his hands underneath Kris’s feet and leans back, slingshotting him over the top rope and onto both members of the Instruments of Destruction! Wildchild waits until all three men start to get back to their feet and then runs towards the opposite side of the ring, building up a head of steam as he rebounds off the ropes. He charges back towards the other end, dives through the air for what appears to be a suicide dive...

 

But instead of diving outside the ring, Wildchild plants his hands on the canvas and bounces his back off the ropes with a handspring, flipping back into the middle of the ring and howling wildly into the rafters as the crowd roars in appreciation!

 

“Wildchild’s got this crowd eating out of his hand,” says Stevens. “He’s got the speed and agility on full display, and they’re loving it here in Edmonton!”

 

“Well, I hope he’s proud of himself,” barks Riley, “and the fact that he had to cheap shot Janus to take advantage!”

 

“By all means, Bobby, don’t let facts get in the way of a perfectly good story,” says Stevens. “If Janus had just minded his own business on the ring apron, he never would have gotten into this situation.”

 

“He was just trying to get Wildchild’s attention,” says Riley dismissively. “You know, psyche him out.”

 

“Well,” deadpans Stevens, “it worked like a charm…”

 

Wildchild backs into his corner and Fugue and Kris finally make their way back into the ring, and tags to his partner Johnny Dangerous while Kris also decides that he’s had enough, making the tag to his brother Kross. Fugue and Johnny engage in a staredown in the center of the ring as Kross looks on. “Fugue and Johnny Dangerous had a long and bitter feud down in the JL,” notes Stevens. “This is only the second time they’ve been in the ring against each other since they were both bumped.”

 

Longtime SJL fans begin cheering in anticipation of this encounter between old rivals, and they begin to circle each other tentatively as Kross bounces up and down like an idiot in the neutral corner. Johnny and Fugue take another step towards each other and are about to lock up when they notice Kross in the corner. They look at each other as if to ask, “shall we,” and then both turn around suddenly and punch Kross in the mouth, sending him crashing down to the mat as the crowd roars with laughter!

 

“That’ll teach him to pay attention to what’s going on in the ring,” says Riley. Having broken the tension, Johnny and Fugue suddenly begin laying into each other, exchanging rights and lefts. Johnny quickly gets the better of it, backing Fugue against the ropes and whipping him towards the opposite end as Kross gets back to his feet. The Maestro reverses the whip and sends Johnny into the ropes instead, but the Barracuda rebounds with a flying lariat that sends Fugue falling to the mat! Johnny picks Fugue up off the mat as Kross climbs to the top turnbuckle, and draws him into a tie-up, but notices Kross diving off the top and breaks away from Fugue, and Kross crashes onto his knees on the mat between the two men. Fugue charges after Johnny, jumping on top of Kross’ back, but the Barracuda steps to the side letting Fugue clothesline himself on the top rope!

 

“Fugue took a big risk there,” says Stevens, “but it didn’t pay off!” Johnny runs towards Kross when he begins to stand up and snatches his head in a side headlock, twisting his body around and driving his head into the mat with a Tornado DDT. Johnny pulls Kross to his feet but gets clotheslined by the recovering Fugue! The Maestro drags Johnny over to his corner and makes the tag to Janus, but instead of entering the ring, Janus remains on the apron and holds Johnny in place, ordering Fugue to run to the ropes. As he runs to the opposite end of the ring, Wildchild runs across the apron to make the stop, but Fugue stops short of the ropes, taunting him and shaking his head, as if to say, “I’m smarter than that.” He then turns back around and rushes back at Johnny, leaping into the air to deliver a running dropkick, but the Barracuda slips out of Janus’ grip at the last second and Fugue’s dropkick sends the Hell Machine flying off the apron once again. Fugue looks outside the ring, mumbling apologies to his partner, when he’s caught by surprise by Dangerous, rushing off the ropes back towards Fugue, knocking him out of the ring with a Johnny Kick!

 

“Johnny Dangerous is cleaning house,” shouts Stevens. Kross rushes at Johnny but gets snatched out of the air and sent back to the mat with a breathtaking Railgun suplex! The Barracuda pops to his feet and runs to the Déjà Vu corner, catching Kris sleeping with a running punch that knocks him off the apron, and then pops the crowd by pumping his thumbs in the air.

 

“Johnny just signaled the crowd,” says Stevens. “We could see Wild and Dangerous’ finishing move here!” Dragging Kross over to the corner, Johnny tags Wildchild, who leaps onto the top turnbuckle as Johnny places Kross on his shoulders and faces the center of the ring. “Here it comes,” says Stevens, as Wildchild lets loose a howl and leaps off the turnbuckle, snaring Kross with a facelock as Johnny begins to sit down.

 

WHAM!!!

 

“DANGEROUS DROP!!” shouts Stevens. “That’s their move!” Janus begins to make his way onto the apron as Wildchild rolls onto Kross for the cover…

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

WHAM!

 

Wildchild rises up from the mat and turns around just in time to run into a big boot from Janus! Kris comes back into the ring to replace his brother but stays in his corner, unwilling to confront the Aussie Monster straight up, as he pulls Wildchild to his feet by his hair and whips him into the ropes, grabbing him on the rebound with one arm and spinning him through the air with terrifying ease, planting him into the mat with a tilt-a-whirl slam! Janus rolls nonchalantly on top of Wildchild and covers him for a pin…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREEEEE—NO! Wildchild barely gets his shoulder up.

 

Not to be dissuaded, Janus lifts Wildchild back up and clasps his hand firmly around his throat, preparing to deliver a chokeslam, when Kris, who attacks him from behind with a double axe-handle blow, suddenly surprises him! Janus summarily ignores him, swatting him to the canvas as if he were a fly. He proceeds to lift Wildchild up by the throat with one arm, when the ornery Kris surprises him again, this time jumping on his back and wrapping his arms around the Monster’s throat. Suitably perturbed, the Hell Machine releases his hold on Wildchild and reaches behind him to grab the twin by the neck. Janus pulls Kris off his neck and brings him forward so that they are face to face; the Aussie Monster glares at the terrified youth, as if to say, “stay out of grown folks business,” but before he can drive the helpless twin into the mat, his knee is clipped from behind by a recovering Wildchild!

 

“Janus may have made a mistake by turning his attention away from Wildchild,” says Stevens. With Janus bent down holding his knee, Wildchild races to the ropes and charges the Hell Machine with blinding speed on the rebound, stunning him with a running elbow to the temple! An angry Kris grabs Janus by the wrist and attempts to whip him towards the ropes, but the giant easily reverses.

 

WHAM!

 

Janus puts his head down to deliver a backdrop to Kris, which turns out to be another grave mistake, as he once again turns his back on Wildchild, who grabs him by the head and drives him into the mat with a bulldog! “Janus turned his back on Wildchild again, and it might cost him the match,” cries Stevens.

 

The Bahama Bomber slaps Kris on the chest and orders him to the top rope. The twin runs to the corner and quickly climbs to the top turnbuckle, leaping high into the air and pumping his arms and legs together as he crashes down on Janus with a jackknife splash!

 

“Half and Half,” shouts Stevens. “This could be the biggest upset of the year!” The referee slides over into position and counts the pinfall…

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

SPLASH!

 

 

Wildchild runs to the ropes and leaps onto the top rope, springing off and flipping through the air directly onto the unsuspecting Kris!

 

“Falling Star Press,” cries Stevens. “What a move! Wildchild took out two birds with one stone on that maneuver!” Wildchild pulls Kris off of Janus and to his feet, standing in front of him and locking his arms.

 

“Oh no,” says Stevens. “Wildchild wants to put Kris out of this match for good! He’s going for the Wild Ride!” The Bahama Bomber spins around so that he is underneath Kris and starts to stand up, leaving the twin hanging upside down off his back.

 

WHAM!

 

“Wild Ride,” shouts Stevens. “Wild Ride!” Wildchild prepares to pin Kris but notices Janus beginning to stir on the mat. With a broad grin, he looks out into the crowd and spins hands around, indicating his desire to pull off another breathtaking maneuver.

 

“Worry about him later,” pleads Stevens. “Take care of Kris first!”

 

“You know perfectly well that he can’t do that,” replies Riley. “His ego won’t allow him to do things the easy way!” Wildchild climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for the Hell Machine to return to his feet. He then leaps off the turnbuckle and lands on Janus’ shoulders, locking his legs around the giant’s shoulders and arching back to deliver a dragonrana…

 

 

 

BAM!

 

 

… But Janus hangs on to his balance as well as Wildchild, pulling the Bahama Bomber back up onto his shoulders and lifting him high into the air and driving him down viciously onto his head.

 

“Dark Bomb!” Screams Stevens. “Dear God! He countered that rana attempt into a Dark Bomb!”

 

“No way that Wildchild gets up from that,” squeals Riley happily. Janus falls atop Wildchild and covers him for the pin.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Funyon again rises from his seat to make the official pronouncement. “Wildchild has been eliminated!” Janus pulls Wildchild up off the mat and applies a standing headscissors, bringing his hands up to his throat, and back down in a slashing motion.

 

“He’s gonna hit him again,” Riley says gleefully. “He’s going to teach Wildchild a lesson in humility!” The referee moves over to Janus, ordering him to stop, but the Hell Machine ignores him, lifting Wildchild back onto his shoulders and into the air again, before once again driving his head into the canvas.

 

BAM!!

 

“Dark Bomb times two,” yells Riley. “Dark Bomb times two!”

 

“For the love of God,” pleads Stevens, “that’s enough, Janus! You’ve made your point!” Unfortunately for Wildchild, Janus doesn’t quite see it that way, as he pulls the Tropical Tumbler back to his feet and places him back into a standing headscissors position.

 

“Let him go,” shouts the referee. “He’s done!” But Janus ignores the referee, pushing him down to the mat as he lifts Wildchild onto his shoulders a third time.

 

BAM!!!

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

“Three times,” crows Riley. “Three times! Three times!” Janus drives Wildchild into the mat with a third devastating Dark Bomb, but the referee crawls to the ropes, barking orders to Funyon and the timekeeper. Funyon rises from his seat and speaks into the microphone, saying, “ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me that Janus has been DISQUALIFIED!” The crowd explodes as the Hell Machine stares at the referee with a look of stark disbelief on his face.

 

“Janus is gone,” says Stevens. “It’s about time the referee did something!”

 

“Janus is gone,” repeats Riley as security arrives to escort Janus out of the ring, “but the damage is done! Wildchild has been Dark Bombed straight to hell!”

 

“Well,” says Stevens. “as of now, this match is officially a fatal three way. The next man to make a pin will have won this match and their team will become the number one contenders to the Tag Team Championship!”

 

“Eek!” squeals Riley! “Fugue is still down here on the floor, trying to recover from that cheap Johnny Kick! He had better hurry before the stupid Spy steals a win!”

 

Knowing fate is in his hands, Johnny steps into the ring and turns towards the punching bag... err Kris rather, who has actually made it to his feet although currently trying to catch his breath in between wheezes while leaning against the ropes. Slowly the Secret Agent creeps in behind Kris, hunkering down while sliding closer and the crowds just know what is about to happen, which shows with their sudden rush of cheers!

 

“Watch out, Kris!” Warns a sympathetic Grand Slam, but the not so bright twin simply shakes his fist with a “Right on” look towards Stevens. “I don’t think I can bare to watch.”

 

“Oh I can.” Remarks Riley. “I might not like this Johnny Dangerous character, but anyone inflicting pain to this moron has my nod of approval... for tonight anyways.”

 

The noise of the crowd cheering is enough to wake the dead, and most definitely enough to get someone pumped, and make them feel like no matter how much pain they are enduring, another round is a sure fire bet. For one like Kris, who slowly lifts his head off the ropes as he looks out to the cheering masses it is simply breath taking! “Dude!” he say’s to himself with his mouth hung wide open in this state of surprise, “these people love me!” Suddenly a new sense of determination begins to surge through his veins! He peels himself off the ropes, standing upright on his own two feet, under his own power!!

 

“You have got to be kidding me.” Bobby shakes his head in pity while letting out a low sigh. “He can’t honestly think they are cheering for him! Although It confuses me as to why they would cheer for a clown like Johnny Dangerous in the first place.” Making note to the Secret Agent who patiently waits for the twin to turn around.

 

“Aw come on, Bobby.” says Stevens, “Who are we to spoil the mood. Besides something like this could leave some very deep emotional scars.”

 

Kris, with his head held high takes several steps back from the ropes, tosses his hands on his hips and spins around with confidence, ready to take on the entire world and their mothers too!

 

KAAAAA-RAAAAACCCCK!!!!!

 

With enough power to level an entire city block, Johnny snaps his foot out instantly connecting with Kris’ jaw the second the twin turns, putting him flat on his back for the umpteenth time this evening!

 

“JOHNNY KICK!” Shouts Mark! “That may just be enough to put Kris down, and with Fugue out of it for the moment we might be looking at our victor!”

 

“Come on Fugue!” begs Riley as he stands from his seat and looks down at the Musician, who has just started to finally move after taking his plunge into the floor.

 

Back inside the ring, the goods are all for the taking as Johnny steps up towards Kris, hovering over his body, which ignites the crowds once again as they wait with much anticipation.

 

“Could it be?” Stevens holds his breath and crosses his fingers. “Is he going to go for an...”

 

Stevens stops mid-sentence when Johnny answers the question, suddenly throwing his balled up fist high into the air! “Yes!” Cries Stevens, echoing the crowds sentiments. “Dangerous is going to go for an Armed and Dangerous! If he nails this, Kris will be put down for eternity!”

 

With everyone focused upon Johnny Dangerous, nobody except for that little kid stuck way up in the nosebleeds that nobody even cares about anyways, notices Fugue finally getting back up. A quick glance into the ring tells the mastermind of pain, that he needs to act fast and so he does! Quickly, he rushes over towards an unsuspecting Funyon, dumps the poor announcer out of his chair before he even realizes that he’s on the floor, and makes off with his newly acquired weapon.

 

Johnny suddenly takes off for the ropes, charging in like an out of control locomotive while everyone cheers him on, still none to the wiser about Fugue!

 

From deep within his innards, the Referee suddenly feels a sneeze of devastating magnitudes coming upon him and so like any gentleman would, he politely turns his head and sneezes just as Johnny blazes into the ropes!

 

CRACK!!!

 

“YES!” Cries Riley as Fugue makes his presence felt once again, slamming his chair into Dangerous back as he leans into the ropes! “I knew Fugue would come through for us!”

 

Fugue quickly tosses his chair aside before the Referee has time to notice, then hops up to the apron while Johnny painfully stumbles forward, holding dearly to his throbbing back while gritting down on his teeth! The opening is seen and the Musician waste no time taking it, quickly bouncing up to the top rope and springing off of it! He grabs Dangerous’ head from behind and jerks him down, grinding his skull into the canvas!

 

WHAM!!

 

“Oh!” winces Stevens! “A beautiful Springboard Bulldog! That may very well have put Dangerous’ lights out permanently, but I think it took every bit of energy out of Fugue!” Pointing out that all though Johnny Dangerous is down, Fugue simply flopped over onto his back after delivering the move, seemingly exhausted from the battle.

 

“Damn!” says Riley. “He put Johnny down but it took everything he had. Now we have three men down and the Referee is about to issue the dreaded ten count!”

 

“ONE!!!!”

 

Not a single soul moves, and after double checking to make sure the count continues...

 

“TWO!!!”

 

“We are up to two, folks!” says Stevens, “and not one man is showing any signs of life!”

 

“Wait, Mark!” exclaims Riley as he grabs hold of Stevens‘ arm. “LOOK!”

 

Peering into the ring, Stevens sees what has caught the attention of Bobby Riley. One man begins to move, and that man is...

 

"KRIS! Kris is moving!” Hollers a surprised Mark Stevens!

 

Low and behold he has, but that still doesn’t stop the Referee from continuing his count...

 

“THREE!!!”

 

Kris rolls over onto his stomach, shaking his head of the many blows he has sustained and is shocked to see not just one of his opponents out cold, but both of them! The crowds let out a mighty cheer, and this time it is for the surviving member of Deja Vu as he begins to crawl forward towards the bodies of Johnny Dangerous and Fugue.

 

“Go, Kris!” Cheers Mark, literally on the edge of his seat. “Fugue and Johnny Dangerous have been brutally fighting over trying to pin Kris, and it just may backfire on them! Such resilience this rookie has!”

 

“FOUR!!!”

 

The referee keeps the count going, but that doesn’t stop Kris from trying to drag his carcass towards the finish line. Slowly but surely he edges himself closer and closer towards the pair, until finally reaching Fugue and limply tossing his arm over the Musician’s chest. Instantly putting his count to rest, the Referee hurls himself down to the mat and begins to make the count with the crowds counting along!

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

“THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT!” Cries Stevens!

 

“NO! NO! NO!”

 

TWO!!!!

 

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE LOOKING AT THE MOST SHOCKING NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS TO THE TAG TEAM TITLES IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE SWF!!!”

 

“NOOOOOOOOOOO...”

 

“THREEEEEEEEEEE-”

 

-Fugue’s eyes suddenly bolt wide open and his reflexes take over when he sees the Referee’s hand coming down, and tosses his shoulder up!

 

“NO!!!” Shouts Stevens as he leaps from his seat! “Fugue got the shoulder up by the very skin of his teeth!”

 

“Whew!” Exasperated, Bobby wipes the sweat from his brow! “By God, that was a close one, but I knew Fugue wouldn’t let us down!”

 

Determined to try again, Kris simply shifts his body over, tossing his arm over the chest of Johnny Dangerous.

 

“He’s going to try again!”

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!

 

 

Suddenly, Fugue jumps to his feet and just as quickly dives for Kris with both fist clenched together and stretched out as far as he can reach!

 

THR-

 

WHAM!!

 

“Not quite, the attempt is broken by Fugue!” says Stevens just after the Musician’s fist sinks into Kris’ back, knocking the twin off of Johnny, and breaking the pin.

 

Standing to his feet, Fugue reaches down and lifts a fatigued Kris to his feet by his chin, then rears back and lands a good sized punch into the twins jaw just for good measures! Kris stammers back holding onto his head, reaching out for the ropes to lean on when Fugue reaches around and locks his hands around Kris’ waist! His eyes widen about a mile, knowing he’s about to go for flying lessons and reaches out for the ropes, hoping to keep himself on level ground, but the Musician proves to be far quicker, lifting him right off the mat and slamming his neck into the mat with a German Suplex!

 

WHAM!!

 

“Ohh!” Mark winces at the impact. “He’s pulling him back up, he’s turning this into a set of Rolling German’s!”

 

“Oh, Hell yes!” replies Riley.

 

Not quite as Fugue does indeed pull the twin back to his feet but lets go of his waist, opting instead for a Full Nelson hold! “Here it comes!” shouts Riley, riddled with excitement! “Fugue’s going to put this Moron through the most painful experience of his life!”

 

Kris puts up absolutely no resistance to the Musician, who lifts him high off his feet and slams him ass first into the mat!

 

WHAM!!

 

“CODA! CODA!” cries Bobby! “This could only lead to one thing! Sweet beautiful Harmony!”

 

Like expected, Fugue flips himself over Kris while never letting go of his firm grasp, locking in the Harmony! The Referee moves in quick, asking Kris if he submits but the twin gives no reply.”

 

“What the hell?” ask Riley. “Is he stupid? Why isn’t he tapping out? How can he even think about resisting the Harmony.”

 

“I think that might be because he’s already knocked out.” Stevens points out, and upon a closer examination his theory proves to be correct. Figuring this out as well, the Referee goes to his alternate plan, the Technical Knock Out count! Grabbing onto Kris’ arm, the Referee lifts it into the air, holds it for a second then lets go...

 

THUD!

 

Kris’ arm falls lifelessly to the mat, giving the Referee his first count.

 

“ONE!!!!”

 

As if on cue, Johnny once seemingly dead as a doornail, springs to his feet setting off a round of cheers! One quick glance towards Fugue, and Dangerous knows he is in trouble! Quickly, Johnny puts a plan in motion grabbing onto the ropes on both sides of the corner turnbuckle and leaps to the top in a single bound!

 

“TWO!!!!” The Referee calls out after letting Kris’ arm drop for the second time.

 

“That’s two!” says Stevens. “and oh my God... NO, JOHNNY!”

 

“It’s no use, there is no way Johnny Dangerous can get there in time!” Shouts Riley. “Even if he does, he would be disqualified! Fugue has his back arched, he would be killed!”

 

To the crowds however, Johnny is a symbol of hope. Hope that victory will not go to the bad guys this time, so cheer they do like never before! Johnny stands atop the turnbuckle then hurdles himself off of it, soaring through the air like a great Bald Eagle just as the Referee hoist Kris’ arm up for the third and final time-

 

“-BUT CAN JOHNNY DANGEROUS MAKE IT THERE IN TIME!!” Shouts Mark, hanging for dear life onto the edge of his chair, watching as Johnny makes a frog like motion in mid air just a foot away from an unsuspecting Fugue while Kris’ arm is released...

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WWHHHAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!

 

Exploding beyond all belief, the crowd roars in approval as Johnny rams his torso into the Musician’s, thrusting Fugue down to the mat harder than ever before!!! Kris is instantly released, letting his body flop lifelessly to the mat but saving the match as the Referee dived out of the way like a Vietnam Veteran dodging a grenade, to avoid the collision!

 

“SWEET BABY JESUS!” Cries Riley, stunned out of his mind for the actions he just witnessed! “Fugue is broken in half! I can’t believe Johnny Dangerous just did that!”

 

“Seeing is believing, Bobby!” says Mark. “Believe that he will try and make good on a pin too as I do not think Fugue is getting up from that one!”

 

Johnny quickly shoves the surging pain in his chest aside, latching onto Fugue’s leg and rearing back, pinning the Musician with authority and hoping to God that this will secure his win! The Referee drops to make the count...

 

 

ONE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

“YES! JOHNNY DANGEROUS HAS DONE IT!” Shouts Mark, while Bobby drops his head into his hands as the mourning begins! The theme from ‘Mission Impossible II’ thunders across the arena, while the fans shower Johnny with a tremendous ovation! Johnny is hesitant to get to his feet, holding tight to his burning midsection until the Referee grabs his free arm and thrusts it high into the air!

 

“Your winner,” bellows Funyon, “and new Number One Contender’s to the Smarks Wrestling Federation’s Tag Team Championship.... WIIILLLLLLLLLLLD ANNNNND DAAAAAAAAAAANGEROUUUUUUUUUSS!!!!!!!!!!”

 

“Thanks to Johnny Dangerous, Wild and Dangerous are now contenders to the Tag Team Titles.” notes Stevens. “All three teams put in a valiant effort, but in the end I feel the right ones came out on top! As much as I like Deja Vu, there skills need to be honed a bit more before attempting a title shot!”

 

“What about the Instruments of Destruction?” Riley fires back! “They were robbed in my opinion. Fugue had Kris right where he needed him, and Johnny just had to screw that one up!”

 

“You take you openings where ever you can, that‘s just apart of this business.”

 

“Well,” says Riley. “at least I can take joy in the fact that they will be facing Justice and Rule. There is no way in hell, Wild and Dangerous can defeat them!”

 

“That’s as long as Justice and Rule can survive the newly reformed Chilly Chilly Bang Bang.” retorts Stevens, instantly Bobby smacks himself in the head.

 

“D’oh! I forgot about that!”

 

“That’s right. That match will follow the ICTV Championship Ladder Match! Who will claim the vacant title? Danny Williams or the spiteful Jamie Drazon? Find out, next!”

[Guest Goodear]

Let it be known that I take requests.

 

--> Deja Vu playing craps to decide who starts is kind of cute, but craps don't really lend to a good visual and it doesn't pay off since you don't describe it at all. It feels pretty thrown in to me.

 

The opening lucha sequence is really fun and punchy and puts the focus on Wildchild, which is good when you go that style since he should be much better at it than Kris or Fugue. But then you make a big mistake that I told MVS about...

 

*** “I’m so sick seeing that spot,” gripes Riley. “It’s so damn cliché now. Everybody’s trying to rip off Rob Van Dam with that ‘face-off’ spot, and it’s not even all that special…” ***

 

Why bash your own match? I know Riley is supposed to be the sarcastic smart allec that hates everyone but Tom, but this strikes me less as "I hate these guys" and more "I hate this match" ... the first one is good, the second isn't.

 

The next sequence is freaking golden with Wildchild causing a pileup on the outside without even diving outside. It's lovely and I loved it. We're in love. Don't HARSH MY LOVE. As a matter of fact, pretty much all of the sequences are really good in a choreographed kind of way which is a nice change of pace from the majority of the SWF matches I normally see.

 

I did think you eliminated Kross a little too fast though and never really gave him a "moment" where he actually looked good... but what are you going to do?

 

Another minor issue is Janus' elimination. Not that I think that Janus wouldn't do that I think he would but you need to account for where Johnny is while his partner is getting murdered. Wildchild takes two deathbombs and Dangerous is just watching? I don't buy that.

 

** From deep within his innards, the Referee suddenly feels a sneeze of devastating magnitudes coming upon him and so like any gentleman would, he politely turns his head and sneezes just as Johnny blazes into the ropes! **

 

I don't buy this either.

 

And I was a little confused why Fugue was so worn out after the bulldog, but I guess you could have sold that as a residual effect from the Johnny Kick. The ending sequence of using the splash to break up the Harmony was peachy keen and I dug that.

 

This is really a nice piece of work with very few problems with it from my perspective that could be ironed out pretty easily. Remember where you have your wrestlers at all times and don't bash your own work and you should be fine.