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Guest Midnight Express83

nothing like the good old days when people filled pages with post whoring.

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Guest snuffbox

Marky got with Sharon

Sharon got Cherice

She was sharin' Sharon's outlook on the topic of the seas

Mikey had a facial scar

Bobby was a racist

They were all in love with dyin'

They were doin' it in Texas

Tommy played piano like a kid out in the rain

Then he lost his leg in Dallas

He was dancin' with a train

They were all in love with dyin'

They were drinking from a fountain

That was pourin' like an avalanche comin' down the mountain.

CHORUS:

I don't mind the sun sometimes

The images it shows

I can taste you on my lips and

Smell you in my clothes

Cinnamin and sugary

Like softly spoken lies

You never know just how you look

Through other people's eyes.

Some will die in hot pursuit

In firey auto crashes

Some will die in hot pursuit

While sifting through my ashes

Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain

That is pouring like an avalanche comin' down the mountain.

CHORUS

Another Mikey caught a knife

While arguing in traffic

Flipper died a natural death

He caught a nasty virus

Then there was the ever present

Football player-rapist

They were all in love with dyin'

They were doin' it in Texas

Holly caught a bullet

But it only hit his leg

Well, it should have been a better shot and

Hit him in the head

They were all in love with dyin'

They were drinkin' from a fountain

That was pourin' like an avalanche comin' down the mountain

CHORUS

 

-Butthole Surfers, 'Pepper', good hangover song

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Guest tank_abbott

Somebody in the mailbag said something about saving Rowdy Roddy Piper for a 20 year anniversary rematch at WrestleMania. After a moment it occurred to me that, as of now, that is one wrestling main event that could actually be recreated. Everybody involved in that is still alive. The Hulkster, Rowdy, Paul Orndorff, Mr T. Even cornermen Jimmy Snuka and Bob Orton, and referees Pat Patterson and Muhammed Ali. I'll guess that at least half of the guys who piped Rowdy and Mr Wonderful to the ring are still kicking around. Okay, Liberace is unavailable but if all else fails they can dress up Howard Finkle in rhinestones.

 

Of course, there's no way that the McMahons could ever allow the geriatric rematch to take place as is. There'd have to be some retooling first to make it a "modern" WWE match.

 

First, Triple H would take Mr Wonderful's place in the match because "he just doesn't have it" (two arms that is). Then Rowdy wouldn't be allowed to wear his kilt because he might get an inadvertant face pop (ala the Ric Flair "WOO" ban). Next, Cowboy Bob Orton is yanked from the heel corner in order to become involved in a feud with son Randy due to Randy's rage over his defective genes and non-healing bones. Orton is replaced by Kevin Nash a.k.a. Diesel, who is freshly rehabbed from whatevery injury he will inevitably sustain some time in the next two weeks.

 

On the face side, Mr T would become involved in a dispute with WWE because "I pity the fool that don't pick up the tab on transportation costs". He also is upset over WWE's insistance that he use a Limp Bizkit cover of the A-Team theme as his ring music. Mr T walks out on the deal and after the Hulkster unsuccessfully lobbies to replace him with Brutus the Barber Beefcake with Jimmy Hart in their corner, Vince McMahon decides to insert himself into the main event as Hogan's partner, in one of those "tag team partners can't stand each other" storylines. This angle lasts a week until Hogan walks out on the company citing "creative differences" with McMahon i.e. Vince wouldn't let him defeat Brock Lesnar or Bill Goldberg clean on live television plus he was putting a cap on the number of "brothers" permitted for each tv appearance. At this point, Mr. T has a change of heart and decides to do the match after all, except that he is held up at the airport when the metal detector goes off and airport officials detain him for trying to smuggle all that dangerous and suspicious gold onto the plane. In the end, Vince names his daughter Stephanie as his partner because...well...it's their company and they don't have to explain these things to you, you gullible wrestling fans!!!

 

Meanwhile, on the heel side, Roddy Piper successfully lobbies to establish the first ever Union in professional wrestling and promptly goes on strike. One week on RAW, after they thought the cameras went off (but hadn't) Triple H, Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash all get into the ring and exchange high fives. This leads to major heat with management and this time Nash is punished, moved to a mid card 6 man tag match with 2 midgets as his partners to face Hillibilly Jim, Little Beaver, and the Haiti Kid. Rowdy is replaced by Shane McMahon with mother Linda in his corner.

 

Meanwhile, after getting all worked up at the Anoia Family Reunion, Jimmy Snuka decides to get revenge on Rowdy for the coconut incident. He attacks Piper in the parking lot with a large rye bread. Rowdy refuses to fight back since that would make him a scab and gets the thrashing of a lifetime. As a result, Stephanie elects to take the corner position and Eric Bischoff is forced to become Vince's partner. Eric is, of course, in the "partner who gets the crap kicked out of him before the hot tag" role.

 

Pat Patterson is "occupied" during the main event and Earl Hebner is the in-ring referee, which pretty much guarantees that the bell will ring the second ANYBODY is put into the sharpshooter. So in the end, the 20th Anniversary main event of WrestleMania consists of all the McMahons, Triple H and whipping boy Eric Bischoff. The major shock comes when it turns out Muhammed Ali was faking his Parkinsons all along as part of an elaborate 25 year angle, and vaults over the ring, does some fancy footwork and proceeds to layout everybody on both sides. This goes well until Gorilla Monsoon, who faked his own death in 1999 as part of the angle, storms the ring and puts Ali in the airplane spin. The crowd goes wild. Buyrates go through the roof, or at least they would have except WWE had to sell the roof the previous autumn in order make ends meet.

 

So that's what's going to happen next year. Yeah.

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Guest JHawk

I think some of you people have too much time on your hands.

 

Not that I'm any different.

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Guest WukenBloodstar

Having too much time on your hands isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing! (thumbs up)

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Guest Midnight Express83

I don't have to much time on my hand. That is why this thread you can have a long post be about this long.

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Guest Texas Small Arms 09

Another boring day at work....damn I need to find a way to make it go quickley. Hmmm....making fun of my boss seems to fit that bill.

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Guest Flyboy

And your posting in it is just keeping this "worst thread you ever read" alive.

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Guest The Superstar

Yeah, it's worthless to just keep posting in this thread and keeping it on top of the board...man, what a waste...

 

oh, wait.

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Guest snuffbox

How can this be the worst thread ever when, in fact, it is...

 

THE GREATEST THREAD IN THE HISTORY OF OUR GREAT FORUM!!!

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Guest JHawk

Yes, snuffbox. I'm going to be telling some stupid bitch off for waiting until the last possible fucking second to tell me she wasn't going to pick me up this fucking morning.

 

Sorry, what? :)

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Guest Texas Small Arms 09
TSA, where do you work?

A training company that goes into other companies (mostly Fortune 500) and customizes programs to help train their employees on financials, presentations, and things of that nature.

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Guest Texas Small Arms 09
BTW TSA, how come you've got a Man U avatar when u live in Texas?

I have a Man U avatar because I support Man U.

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Guest snuffbox
Yes, snuffbox. I'm going to be telling some stupid bitch off for waiting until the last possible fucking second to tell me she wasn't going to pick me up this fucking morning.

 

Sorry, what? :)

fun times

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Guest snuffbox
BTW Anyone else here think that mice are the most homosexual of all animals?

no...the most homosexual species is 'faggot people'

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Guest Texas Small Arms 09

Well maybe all the jobs you have had, but my job rules. Where else can I tell my boss to fuck herself, make fun of her and her life, talk about sex, masturbation, and sex toys and make great money, and can travel?

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Guest snuffbox
Well maybe all the jobs you have had, but my job rules. Where else can I tell my boss to fuck herself, make fun of her and her life, talk about sex, masturbation, and sex toys and make great money, and can travel?

Thats cool TSA...

 

but I must say that the job I had on an apple orchard was by far the best.

 

:D

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