Promo: Blue.

[Guest El Luchadore Magnifico]

It was a beautiful day. The sun shone brightly, the trees swayed with the gentle breeze of the morning, and the cloudless sky was a magnificent shade of deep blue. As sunlight reflected off of the windows of the Pershing Center, El Luchadore Magnifico approached the building’s back entrance, carrying a small black bag as he did so. As he grabbed the door handle, Magnifico paused for a moment, struck by the beauty of his surroundings. Smiling to himself, ELM opened the door, took a deep breath, and disappeared into the empty building.

 

Never seen a bluer sky

Yeah I can feel it reaching out and moving closer

There's something 'bout blue

 

Several hours later, the Suicide King storms into his office, his arms full of paperwork. Muttering to himself, King throws all the documents on his desk and collapses into his chair, taking a much needed break from the stresses of Commissionership. However, as he sits down, something on the corner of his desk catches his eye. King sits up straight and leans forward in his chair to see a blank videotape sitting on his desk, waiting silently for the commissioner to watch it.

 

“Hmm.” King grunts, curious. “Didn’t see this before.”

 

King reluctantly pushes himself out of his chair, grabs the video, and strides over to the television installed in the back of his office. He feeds the videotape to his VCR, turns on the television, and takes a step back, intrigued as to what could be on the tape. For several seconds, there is nothing but static, leading an annoyed King to believe that the tape was mistakenly put on his desk. However, just as he’s about to turn off the VCR, the image of El Luchadore Magnifico, sitting about five feet away from the camera and looking off to the side, pops onto the screen. Surprised, King backs away from the VCR and crosses his arms, watching the tape with a newfound interest. After a few seconds, Magnifico turns towards the camera, his face expressionless but his eyes brimming with unmistakable sadness.

 

“You found the tape, I assume.” Magnifico begins. “Well, King, I’m guessing that you didn’t find this until several hours after I recorded it. I know you don’t get into the office until late.”

 

As a small smile crosses ELM’s face, King raises an eyebrow, wondering where the hell Magnifico could be going with this.

 

“Anyway.” The luchadore continues, the smile disappearing. “I made you this videotape because I needed to tell you something very important, King. Something that couldn’t wait until you sorted through your paperwork and had time for me.”

 

Magnifico sighs. “King, I’m gone. I quit.”

 

The commissioner uncrosses his arms and puts his hands on his hips, surprised and a bit insulted at what ELM just told him.

 

“I’ve been in this federation for what, two, two and a half years?” Magnifico asks. “And I bet...I’ll bet you never knew that I hated every damn second of it.”

 

King scoffs, but doesn’t turn off the tape. Something about ELM’s demeanor, the way he’s speaking...something is keeping him watching, keeping him hanging on every word Magnifico has to say.

 

“Don’t take that the wrong way, please.” Magnifico pleads. “It wasn’t the office’s fault, it wasn’t the wrestlers’ fault, it wasn’t the federation’s fault...no, it was my own feelings, my own weaknesses that caused me to despise my presence in the SWF.”

 

ELM pauses for a moment, carefully thinking over his words. “I miss my country, King. Do you know what it’s like to live in a place where you’ll always be an outsider? Where you have to change your whole way of life just to survive?”

 

King looks on intently as Magnifico bows his head, struggling to keep himself together. “Yes, the rumors are true.” ELM declares. “I am an illegal immigrant. I snuck into this country illegally, believing it to be the promised land me and my family dreamed of.”

 

Magnifico suddenly looks at the camera, his eyes brimming with tears. “But it’s just not the same, King. This isn’t my home. These people aren’t my family, and no matter how hard I try to bond with them, they can never take the place of my loved ones.”

 

ELM wipes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and struggles to regain his composure before continuing. “I’ve been suffocating here, King. I thought that if I did what I loved, if I went out and did the only thing I know how to do...then maybe I’d be able to block out the memories of my home and of my loved ones.”

 

“But it’s not working.” Confesses Magnifico. “And now...now, I have no reason to stay.”

 

Asked myself what it's all for

You know the funny thing about it

I couldn't answer

No, I couldn't answer

 

His anger fading, King silently watches as a sad smile slowly creeps across ELM’s face.

 

“So, by the time you’ve watched this,” ELM announces, “I’m probably already halfway to my rightful home in Mexico. I know you won’t anyway, but don’t bother trying to track me, okay?”

 

Magnifico suddenly chuckles to himself. “But hey...we put on some good matches, huh? Gave the people what they paid for.”

 

“Well, adios.” Says ELM, giving the camera a small salute. “Hopefully we’ll meet again, yah?”

 

With that, the video collapses into static, erasing the image of Magnifico from the screen. King silently watches the static, not sure what to make of what he just saw.

 

He doesn’t move for a long time.

 

Free...

Wanna be free,

Gonna be free

And move among the stars

You know they really aren't so far

 

Feels so free...

Gotta know free... Please...

Don't wake me from the dream

It's really everything it seemed

 

I'm so free...

No black and white in the blue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, a single figure walks south on a lonesome, dusty road, a hand in his pocket and a bag slung over his right shoulder. Slowly, the figure turns around and gazes up at the sky, which has just begun to darken.

 

He smiles, marveling at the incredible shade of deep blue that paints the atmosphere.

 

He’s finally free.

 

Everything is clearer now

Life is just a dream, you know

That's never ending

I'm ascending...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OOC: Yup, so that’s it. After two years, nearly a hundred matches, nine titles, and hundreds of thousands of words, I’m calling it quits. You guys have heard the “It’s a chore to write, it’s not fun anymore, blah blah blah” speech a million times, so instead, I’d like to thank the people that made my time here really special.

 

Heat: My first friend in the fed, and my first tag partner. Thanks for giving me my first real angle. Senor Psycho still has a chance, you know.

 

Grunge: The opponent in my first real feud. Thanks for giving me the motivation to improve my writing.

 

Drew: You did a fantastic job as JL booker. Thank you for giving me the chance to shine.

 

Chris Wilson: You basically led me into the fed by inviting me into Prime Evil, and are also partially responsible for my first World Title win. Thank you very much, and please do come back someday. You’re too good a writer to stay away for long.

 

Thoth: Thanks for getting me hooked on both DDR and Fighting Games. Hundreds of wasted dollars later, I’m actually decent at both, thanks to you.

 

All of my Carnie Teammates: Thank you very, very much for providing me with my greatest moments in the fed. A special thanks goes to CIA, Annie, and Z for helping with Carnival v. 2.0, even though it didn’t turn out too well in the end.

 

Suicide King: The greatest rival and teammate a e-wrestler could ask for. Keep up the good work, King, we all appreciate it. I know I do.

 

Thugg: I never did get the chance to beat you cleanly...so for that you suck. But otherwise, you were a great guy to plan storylines with and compete against. I still appreciate your words after my second World Title win. I can’t thank you enough for that.

 

Jay Dawg: Bitch. Now that you don’t have anyone to call a slut anymore, I suggest shifting the abuse to Ash. He can take it.

 

Flesher: You brought out the best in me, man. For that, I’m very thankful. You’ll be a terrific World Champion, I know it.

 

TNT: You probably realize this by know, but you don’t suck. Okay? I hope you can continue your run on the top and recapture that World Title, because you deserve it.

 

Stubby: You probably won’t read this, but I greatly appreciate your hard work in booking the fed pretty much single-handedly for months on end. Thank you.

 

And....that’s all I can think of. My apologies to anyone I forgot.

 

Later...

[Guest HVilleThugg]

OMIGOD!!

 

ELM is leaving!!!

 

Don't go Mags!!!

 

Da "I think it's obvious that I didn't actually read this promo" H

 

EDIT: Well I be damned!! I was just trying to be funny, but I was actually right!! Dude...what's up?? Why are you leaving?? Don't leave!!! Stay!!!

 

Fuck!

 

I'll have something more meaningful to say when I come back from the gym.

[Guest Ace309]

You know, I still consider Ultimate Submissions my best match ever.

 

I was fucking *scared* of you, Mags. You brought some of my best work out of me, and as much as I'm sad to see you go (because I wish I could have done something with the Magnifico Seven bit), it was clear that your heart just wasn't in it recently.

 

Oh, and it was always fun to IM you, because I could tell you never knew how to take my one-step-from-reality personality.

 

Good luck with your DDR - I'm sure you'll be turning pro any time now - and always remember: It's YOUR fault that Bunch of Believers songs haunt me in the middle of the night and screw with my sleep cycle.

 

*tips a shot of tequila*

[Guest realitycheck]

I'm torn on whether to rattle you on not being around to write for that ONE tag match we had together back in... uh, August? Or say something about really liking that song. I think I'll do both.

 

I feel kind of down that, despite being in the same stable for 6 months, we never really worked together. Of course, that might be my fault for bombing out on the Carnival twice *cough*, but ces't la vie, ces't la guerre, ces't la amour.

 

You're one of the best ever, Mags. Happy trails.

 

-Z

[Guest Powerplay]

The passing of a true legend here. It sad we only really got to work together one time, but it was just as well great enough to be around and see you work your magic. You've headlined and WON the biggest PPVs in the fed, including our own little Wrestlmania twice. You held practically everything and you've had meaningful reigns. You WILL be in the Hall of Fame soon enough.

 

An excellent promo to finish off possibly the greatest career of them all. Props to using a Cowboy Bebop song for your final exit, and don't be a stranger on the boards, boyo. I don't want to see you disappear completely, 'Kay?

 

 

See you later, Space Cowboy....

[Guest The Superstar]

I always enjoyed reading your stuff, ELM, and I'm sad to see you go. Good luck~!

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

::raises a glass::

 

Here's to the guy who really, really helped Mark and I keep the Carnival alive with a wonderfully timed face turn, and here's to the guy who beat my ass squeaky clean and subsequently helped keep the main event afloat for the last 5 months. I wish you'd have gotten a chance to play with the new recently heel character more before you left, but when it's time to go, it's time to go. Between writing the best ladder matches, holding the World and LHW titles like they were your illegal Mexican twins, and flippy-flopping to the top time and time again, I think it was a pretty damn good run.

 

::writes G0drea to bring back Mag in the next border run::

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Always sorry to see a guy like ELM go who was not only a great writer but a real solid guy the few times I've worked and talked with him. I hope he comes back in the near future and with a more focused direction and fire than what he's had recently.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

I think I saw this coming, since you were rather unmotivated lately. Nothign held against you, and hey, we got to Main event the anniversary Pay Per View of the fed... Never thought that would have happened, eh.

 

I've had some fun matches with you Mag. One of my favorite opponents to write and definitely out of character to make fun of. I'm sorry, but there's just something about Mexican Slut that brings joy to my thoughts.

 

 

It's getting weird with seeing Neilsen, who else stays active as much as me.

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

Mags, you rule. You're one of the Top 5 ever to compete in this fed, and statistically speaking, you could be the best ever. And unless I'm mistaken, you're the only man to main-event twice at Genesis. You totally ruled, and you'll be missed. Still, I do think that you had accomplished everything you could have in this fed. I hope you won't be a stranger.

[Guest Suicide King]

::raises his lighter::

[Guest Thoth]

Wow. I remember fearing you my entire career. A man who can consistently wrote over 10,000 words? How could you lose?

 

I guess it would burn you out in the end.

 

But then again, you have nothing left to prove.

 

Maybe with you gone, I can make a comeback...

[Guest HVilleThugg]

Now it's time for me, the angry black man, to say some things about the Magnificent, Most Adorable, Malignant, Manufactured, Manic-Depressent...uhhhh...

 

...Motorola...

 

...Motorhead...

 

...oh, sorry.

 

Dude, Mags was awesome! That's really all I can say about him. Talk about a true professional. I mean, I walked in and forced him into a match when he had a feud lined up with Wilson...won the title and ruined their entire angle...and the Mexican bastard didn't even say one single ill word. All he did was compliment me on my match. Talk about turning the other cheek! This guy would work with anyone, and I don't think I've seen him mad but one time since I've been around. Hell, he didn't even get mad when I punked him out in the JL. Most of you don't know this...but I'm gonna tell a little story about the first time I was involved with Magnifico (and he probably didn't even know it).

 

Back in the day, as the Big Bump (as it is called) was occurring, leaving the JL in need of a main event. This is when all the big names you know today were bumped....Xstasy, ELM, King, Edwin, Spark, Heat, Grunge, etc...anyway, at the time, X had the JL World Title, and I was a little runt, only 4 matches under my belt in the JL. X and ELM were to have one final match to determine the JL champ before both were bumped. Suddenly, out of no where, I get a PM from Grimedogg (JL commish at the time) saying that CC thought I had talent and wanted to push me to the moon (although Heat will be mad at me if I don't mention that he was a part of that conversation too). So, he said that he wanted me to come down in that match as a third person, making it a 3-way, and I was to win the world title. That's right people...despite my dominance in both the JL and WF, I was simply given the world title back in the JL. Anyway, back to my story...

 

At that time, Xstasy and HVT had been involved in a heated feud (not the WF feud that was the best feud in history, but the feud that brought me into the company), but had just turned on everyone and revealed they were best friends and in cahoots all along. The plan for the match was to have Thugg come down at the end, and Grimedogg would announce that he forgot about the three-way, and the 3rd opponent was HVT. Now, what happens next just shows you how you never know what can happen, so you should never punk people out because you will probably be made to look a fool in the end.

 

Ok, so...I didn't know ELM from the other side of a rock. To me (and my massive ego) he was just some guy in the JL that was there before and being bumped...but more importantly, he was just a guy who was in the ring with my boy X (who is still the best writer the JL has ever seen and ever will see). So, I have HVT just walk in the ring, grab ELM and throw him out of the ring and into the crowd, never to be seen again. In fact, for the rest of the match, there wasn't even any mention of ELM...it was as if he never existed. I was talking to X the other day, and we were discussing that....god, had I known that ELM would turn out to be who he turned out to be, I would have had him more involved in the ending of that match. I wouldn't have just punked him out. Had I known that he would move on to have 3 world title reigns...5 LHW reigns...and countless other titles...Had I known he'd turn out to be one of THE BEST ever to grace this fed, boy would I have done things differently. Maybe it's just me, but I find that amusing.

 

You know Mags, I can't even really describe what it has been like here with you. It's just been amazing to work with you, even if I do feel like, on some level, I took advantage of your generosity (and your lack of desire to ever promo). I look back on our OOC competitive feud...and it's just fun. Maybe it's because I"m undefeated against you...but all that aside...you never once had anything ill-willed to say to me...nor I to you for that matter. I enjoyed working with you that last time, when I came back and faced you for the title. And, it really brought joy to my heart to job that match to you. I mean, I know that it would have made you feel better had you won it clean, but it really made me happy that I could be a part of creating the legend that is...

 

El Luchadore Magnifico!!!

 

Keep it real man...and pop back in every now and then.

 

::raises a glass to probably the BEST PERSON ever in this fed::

 

~ and I'm not even going to ruin this love-fest with my usual Da "this is getting stupid" H crap. Dammit! I guess I did it anyway, but you get the point.

 

And...dammit, if every single person in the fed, every single retiree, every single everybody doesn't show ELM some love on this thread...I will personally come to your house and beat you to death with ELM's mom's whoopin' stick! Yes, that means YOU! And you...there...on the WWE board...yeah...get your ass in here and show ELM some love bitch!

 

Adios mi amigo!

[Guest El Luchadore Magnifico]

Wow...that was beautiful, Thugg.

 

I really, sincerely appreciate all the kind words, folks. And I'm not disappearing completely, so don't worry about that...but then again, I don't post around here much often anyways, so not much will change in that instance.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

'Tis a sad day in the SWF.

 

ELM, you've pretty much been around for as long as I can remember. Those ML days seem so long ago...

 

You've been one of the guys whose always been there for me, even when things weren't going to well for me. I've always looked up to your work as something for me to shoot for, and it's really sad to see ya go. I've always had this vision in my mind to be the next ELM, the next dominant force in this fed. I don't know if I, or anyone, will ever be able to fill your shoes. You are turly one of a kind, Mags.

 

Words cannot say enough my friend... your writing presence will be missed dearly. Glad to see you'll stil be around, though.

 

Better make some more room in the SWF Retirement Home...

 

*lowers the Mexican flag to half-staff... fuck that... lowers it to the ground to honor the greatest illegal immigrant ever*

 

May we never lose memory of, perhaps, and in my opinion, one of, if not... the greatest of all time...

 

~"The Nightmare" Michael Craven~

[Guest chirs3]

Buhbye.

 

Da "Is posting here so Thugg won't come to his house" Raynor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

... ok, not really, but I never know what to say on retirement threads that hasn't been said by the 18 people above me. I mean, I could talk about how cool it was teaming with him, but that's been said. I could talk about how well he worked under pressure for our near-catostrophic double-noshow main event against each other, where we cooked an impromptu match in what was it, 3 hours?...but his ability to do the impossible is well documented. I could talk about how fun it was having the Carnival go against him, then doing a complete 180 and having him become one of key players holding it together, but that's been touched on.

 

I'm dry. I can say nothing that hasn't already been said. This is why you never see me on retirement threads.

 

*awkward silence*

 

So, uh... yea...

 

*awkward silence, part II*

 

Well, I'll be going now.

 

But seriously Mags, it was always a pleasure working with you... I won't say it was a pleasure working against you 'cause I was too busy being scared of you to get much pleasure out of it, but you know how it goes. And don't count on getting too comfy in your retirement - you'll be back.

[Forewarned 0]

*sniffle*

 

I remember when I'd hear things about you in the JL and keep getting you confused with Insane Luchador...

 

*sniffle*

 

I'm sorry I never got to beat you... I'm sorry I never got to end your long ass World Title reign... I'm sorry I didn't get the belt at Genesis II... I'm...I'm...aw f**k it...

 

You are a great writer Mags. This place just got a little lonelier at the top and I'm not sure if I spelled lonelier right...

 

*sniffle*

 

I used to spell so good.

 

WHY!?! WHY!?! DEAR GOD WHY!?!

 

*sniffle*

 

But anyway...you'll be missed, obviously, and you might as well be in the Hall of Fame right now. And...you'll probably get there before me...dirty Mexican f**k...but nonetheless, you deserve it. I would have loved to have feuded with you and I must admit that I am proud to have seen people like you, Edwin, King, Stevens and even Hville...well...maybe not Hville...but no, I'm proud to have been able to see you guys go from newbies to some of the greatest Champions this federation has ever seen.

 

So here's to Everyone's Favorite Illegal (I knew it!) Immigrant and the last member of the third and last IGNWF Generation.

 

*raises his glass*

 

Goodbye ELM and Godspee...wait a f**kin' minute!

 

*quickly reads over ELM's farewells once more*

 

There's no mention of me!!!

 

*down the alcohol*

 

What the f**k is that!?! How can any farewell be complete without a mention of Neilsen? That's just not right! Screw you ELM! Go! Leave! See if I care! I wasn't sniffling...I was just snorting coke! I..I have to go...

 

*runs off with tears in his eyes*

 

Farewell El Luchador Magnifico

[Guest Grand Slam]

I raise my bottle of good Mexican beer and tip it towards the South, and hopefully, towards ELM.

 

Godspeed, my friend, Godspeed...

 

Adios amigo.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

::bitch slaps Neilson::

 

I ain't King bitch...I'll whoop yo ass mutha fucka!

 

Da "oh...right...ELM's retirement" H

[Guest Crowe]

... Mag's calling it quits!?

 

...

 

This upsets me.

 

I raise my glass and cigar to you, my friend.

[Atlas 0]

I didn't really know you at all, except for looking at one of your matches early on. Enjoy the freedom of not writing.

 

*tips hat*

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Gaahh...

 

 

 

 

Well goddamn.

[Guest vitriol]

Dude...mags...it's sad to see you go. I remember when you beat me and Spider in a three way for the LHW title that you owned for so long....that's the only loss I've ever agreed with. If you ever feel the urge, please come back and show us how it's done one more time.

 

-Merc

[Guest kelloggs]

Well Mags it's a shame I never got to really work with you and the carnival. I'm sure it would have been good times. Enjoy whatever new commitments you may have and come back if and when you can.