Guest Banky Report post Posted April 25, 2003 Memoirs by Philip Traum Welcome my butterflies. For the past several years you have all been privy to my intellectual and cerebral insanity that has transformed message boards as we know them today. For years people such as Scott Keith and Chris Hyatt got away with being arrogant assmongers with an atrocious addiction to being a cynical poopstain. It was not until the great Jason Lee burst on the scene that everything changed on the internet. No longer could the aforementioned internet staples seem credible admits the coolness of the rend setting Mr. Lee. He showed signs of cockiness and unconformity than millions pattern themselves after each and every day. He took the bar one step further for aspiring message board users. His wide range of cyber gimmicks have been influential in the booking of the WWE as at the same time they masked Edge & Christian under the guise of the Conquistadors. Clearly they had been well aware of Mr. Lee and his successful attention seeking antics. I am still awaiting my check in the mail. Jason Lee ruled the bright ugly smart marks board for moths before the ugly World Domination reared its ugly head and divide that mother fucker right down the middle. The Flying Dutchman loved Jason Lee’s posting style and begged him to go his fledging message board the credibility to desperately needed. After a few cyber hummers, I complied. What could I say? No one could type as dirty as Dutch. I still love him to this day. Unfortunately there was so anger amongst the subordinates at the World Domination. They did not take to kind to the rogue member of the board, who refused to conform to their Saturday nights of chips, dips, aim chats, and dorks. That’s reminds me, who is the only man amongst the wrestling community who has retained his popularity and accessibility without falling into the pitfalls of ICQ and AIM? That’s right, it was me. Back on topic, Jason Lee was feeling the heat…and he did not like it…at all. Who are these elitist pricks like Witty Banter, the Thread Killer, and EIW E&C to try and cash in of my shit? Know what I did? I switched that fucker up. That’s when I introduced the LWO Kid. The great LWO Kid. Unfortunately my unique posting style could not keep the gimmick a secret for long. Again, anger and DRAMAH~ infiltrated the board, and the playa hating continued. I can’t say that I wasn’t hurt, I was. I mean…c’mon – everyone has always loved me. I have never gone longer than 10 days without a girlfriend. I am sued to have the females hanging off my tip. But these weren’t any regular females, these were daily menstruating females. They were a wolf pack. At the same time the TSM was in serious doubt. Scott Keith had sold the board, ditched the board, or whatever – and it looked as though its best days were behind them. But if it weren’t for a chubby kid from NYC named Damien – this board would have went under. I admit to being cynical towards this board, as it lost its credibility when Scott Keith left. I mean honestly, who else has shaped the opinions of as many peons as him with his rigidly anal point of view in wrestling. Heck, I shouldn’t make fun, 95% of these people still post at the TSM. Atleast Keith ain’t a Puro supporter, those guys are death. Stay away…SARS may be wished upon you. I stayed at the TSM for the first month under the immortal character of Banky Edwards, but the constant server crashes drove me away. Like really, I have better things to do than sit on my thumb to wait for a page to load. While my thumb is more prestigious than other things that can be stuck up my ass, one can only have so much of a good thing. Know whatta’ mean? Back at the WDI things were not going much better. Men such as Crucifixio Jones (PORNFAQ) and Cerberus the Love Aardvark were ripping the LWO Kid a new ass. Is it a crime to wish for Latino’s to conquer the world? I never thought so, but these old-timers had a seriously issue with me. Again, what can a man do? Both the names Jason Lee and the LWO Kid have been tarnished? Finally I had enough. I stuck those middle fingers in the air and brought in Bradley Dub Ortiz. The man who capitalized on the hatred and rage of his predecessors. What can be said about Bdub? He 0wned all jo asses. Don’t front…none of you. There was nothing but love for Bdub. Winning allies in StevieB, the IllustriousOne, and the Cunnysmithe – Bdub stayed above water in the harsh World Domination shark tank this chewed up many a victim in their day. Bdub truly defied the odds by causing enough dramah to drive more than one poster away from the board. His numerous bannings for insulting Jay Bower (EI Cubano), The Thread Killer (Dave Dyamond) and others finally got Bdub banned. One of the things the WDI prided themselves on was enforcing their bannings, but not even that could stop the MAN from coming back. Again IllustriousOne and StevieB stepped to the plate for Bdub. He got to come back…barely. It should be noted that the Dutchman’s relationship with Bdub wasn’t as strong as it was with Jason Lee. The cyber blow jobs stopped, and things were fairly dry for Bdub at the WDI. He was back, but there was no love for me. Sassquatch, bps21, Cerebus, and others left the board in dispute of my return. HoffmanHBK, Freak5000, Witty Banter, and people along those lines showed violent indifference towards me. So what can I say? I was in purgatory. What did I do? I went back to the TSM. I was Banky Edwards with an entirely new slate. No one knew me, no one wanted to knew me. I was humbled by it all, but really, who else could seize the moment such as the Bankmeister? I turned that sumbitch upside down and transformed how it was governed. Who else has been able to troll in any folder he wants, flame whoever he wants, whenever he wants, WHEREVER he wants? That’s this mother fucker right here. I admit I felt pretty damn hot upon my arrival, and if it wasn’t for some ornery bitch, I’d still be up on my high horse. That bitch was Marney. That fucking cunt knew how to crash a party in a manner that would make any man-hating lesbian proud. Whats worse? She had an entourage. Mr Rant, Kinetic, and Incandenza were only a few to rip Banky to shreds. Again, feelings were hurt, tears were shed, mothers were called, and Bdub was brought into extinguish the fires. But no, he was immediately and viciously trampled like the castrated bitch he was. Bdub didn’t last, and rightfully so, he was only a shell of the kickass gimmick causing shit like none other at the WDI. But thigns got boring…very boring. One can only hear the same degrading verbal titty-twisters for so long. Both the TSM and WDI were insultingly stale…awww, it was time to divide and conquer. Banky Edwards took control of the NHB folder at the TSM while Axl Holmes reared his ugly ass head at the WDI. PART II of Traum’s Memoirs with include the tenure of Axl Holmes, the return of Bdub at the WDI, the CynicalHateMongerFromHell, Chevy Chase, the NewWorldOrderOfWrestling, Dames Edna, Fletch, Rad, and the other faces of Traum. In addition, I will give my outlook for the future and who my favorite posters of all-time were. Truly you should not miss out on the amazing life story of Traum, and his rise to the top of the world. Thanks for the ride guys, it was been amazing. But really, you should thank me more than I should pass it to you. -Philip Traum 04/25/03. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ViciousFish Report post Posted April 25, 2003 Ummm...sure??? I agree 100%...yeah...we'll go with that................... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bob_barron Report post Posted April 25, 2003 I left out of your memoirs Banky? I'm hurt Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Banky Report post Posted April 25, 2003 I left out of your memoirs Banky? I'm hurt There is a part two Barron....stay tuned. I won't leave out this disgusting Avril Lavigne fad of last year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Flying Dutchman Report post Posted April 25, 2003 This is the dopiest thing you've ever done. God bless. No one could type as dirty as Dutch. I still love him to this day. Why don't you ever call me anymore? You're such a bitch ... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Banky Report post Posted April 25, 2003 This is the dopiest thing you've ever done. God bless. No one could type as dirty as Dutch. I still love him to this day. Why don't you ever call me anymore? You're such a bitch ... But you banned me first!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Dames 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2003 Hey asshole! The name is Damian....and I'm not fat! Dames Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bob_barron Report post Posted April 25, 2003 No- You're big boned Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2003 So much love in one place............... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Dames 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2003 ....don't play with me Barron. You of all people know that I'm not a fatty. Dames Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Banky Report post Posted April 25, 2003 ....don't play with me Barron. You of all people know that I'm not a fatty. Dames Chubby....there's nothing wrong with being a chub? I don't call you fat....and really, if I did, it would suit this piece appropriately. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Dames 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2003 ....Carry on then. Dames Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Spaceman Spiff Report post Posted April 25, 2003 Hey asshole! The name is Damian....and I'm not fat! Dames How about "stout"? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lord of The Curry Report post Posted April 25, 2003 Portly? Festively plump? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Masked Heel Report post Posted April 25, 2003 thick? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Banky Report post Posted April 25, 2003 Portly? Festively plump? I like those. I'll use it in the second installment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Banky Report post Posted April 25, 2003 double.post.sucka. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MrRant Report post Posted April 25, 2003 I think Dames is more Jolly then anything... like good Ol St. Nick. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Spaceman Spiff Report post Posted April 26, 2003 "Squat" is also a good synonym Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted April 26, 2003 How the fuck as I left out of your memoirs? There was a period that we were both at each other's throats. In fact, our little WDI feud indirectly got both of us banned. and where's big boned? Never mind. Bob got it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted April 26, 2003 husky Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Banky Report post Posted April 26, 2003 How the fuck as I left out of your memoirs? There was a period that we were both at each other's throats. In fact, our little WDI feud indirectly got both of us banned. and where's big boned? Never mind. Bob got it There is still more installments to come...with more emphasis on the TSM. Stay tuned, and be afraid. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted April 26, 2003 Well, I was more your WDI run. We pretty much get along here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Banky Report post Posted April 26, 2003 Well, I was more your WDI run. We pretty much get along here. Are you bitching about the lay out of my memoirs? GOTOHELLSONOFABITCH! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Amazing Rando Report post Posted April 26, 2003 All I want is to be made fun of somehow in Part Two... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Banky Report post Posted April 26, 2003 All I want is to be made fun of somehow in Part Two... There is a good possibility. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Amazing Rando Report post Posted April 27, 2003 why is that? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Banky Report post Posted April 27, 2003 why is that? I don't like you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted April 27, 2003 I saw Banky's post and figured MEMOIRS: THE SEQUEL~! was up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ViciousFish Report post Posted April 27, 2003 why is that? I don't like you. Well at the very least Banky doesn't dance around a question Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
