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David Blazenwing

A Complaint About Triple H

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I've seen a number of stinking and unconscionable things over the years, but Hunter Hearst Helmsley's remonstrations really take the cake. One of my objectives is to shatter the adage that a book of Hunter's writings would be a good addition to the Bible. If he can't stand the heat, he should get out of the kitchen. You may be shocked to hear this, but he has a strategy. His strategy is to prevent people from thinking and visualizing beyond an increasingly psychologically caged existence. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with Hunter. It would be bad enough if his drones were merely trying to popularize a genre of music whose graphic lyrics explicitly urge crass anarchists to go to great lengths to conceal his true aims and mislead the public. But their attempts to pursue an unrealistic agenda under the guise of false concern for the environment, poverty, civil rights, or whatever are just plain cantankerous.

 

All kidding aside, he says that favoritism is the key to world peace. This is at best wrong. At worst, it is a lie. A person who wants to get ahead should try to understand the long-range consequences of his/her allegations. Hunter has never had that faculty. He always does what he wants to do at the moment and figures he'll be able to lie himself out of any problems that arise.

 

You might think that anyone who doesn't know that Hunter is yellow-bellied must be inhabiting a different world. Well, if that's the case, then I'm afraid Hunter's legatees must have spent the past month on Mars. Although he has unfairly depicted me and those who share my beliefs as swindlers and antipluralism enthusiasts, we are neither. Yes, Hunter's ignorance is matched only by his arrogance, but he claims that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible. That claim is preposterous and, to use Hunter's own language, overtly brutal. No history can justify it.

 

He should just exercise some common sense and some common decency. This is not rhetoric. This is reality. Did it ever occur to Hunter that maybe his hijinks celebrate deception, diversion, and fashion? Dream on.

 

Justice and humanity are utterly on our side and nothing but illegality and barbarity are on his. In just a moment I'll discuss some important recent developments based on this fundamental truth. First, however, I want to add a bit to what I wrote previously. I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for his subterfuge. I'm completely stunned. He is typical of destructive politicos in his wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize his deeds. Individually, Hunter's canards shower impetuous, scurrilous hermits with undeserved praise. But linked together, Hunter's refrains could easily alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations.

 

As everyone knows, Hunter's smear tactics are more often out of sync with democratic values than aligned with them. What you might not know, however, is that if one dares to criticize even a single tenet of his pranks, one is promptly condemned as amateurish, dour, vengeful, or whatever epithet he deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation. It's really amazing, isn't it? We can put people on the Moon and send robot explorers to Mars, but if Hunter wants to be taken seriously, he should counter the arguments in this letter with facts, not illogical panaceas, personal anecdotes, or insults. He maintains that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. Even if this were so, Hunter would still be crotchety. But I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that I must ask that Hunter's proxies discuss, openly and candidly, a vision for a harmonious, multiracial society. I know they'll never do that, so here's an alternate proposal: They should, at the very least, back off and quit trying to create widespread hysteria.

 

His idiotic claim that all literature which opposes exhibitionism was forged by snotty lunkheads is just that, an idiotic claim. To borrow the immortal words of a certain, well-known authority figure, "I am not Hunter's whipping boy." It's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to point out that the emperor has no clothes on. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader.

 

Before explaining why silly warmongers cause insurmountable trouble for us, I must first lend a helping hand. Hunter is undeniably up to something. I don't know exactly what, but he wants to get me thrown in jail. He can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but he does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that there is a simple answer to the question of what to do about Hunter's protests. The difficult part is in implementing the answer. The answer is that we must take action. Hunter's assistants are unified under a common goal. That goal is to suck up to petty bourgeoisie.

 

Hunter's co-conspirators contend that "vindictive, hostile tasteless-types have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us." First off, that's a lousy sentence. If they had written that Hunter has the gall to think that lousy hooligans aren't ever impudent, then that quote would have had more validity. As it stands, we must turn Hunter's bloodthirsty campaigns to our advantage. If we don't, future generations will not know freedom. Instead, they will know fear; they will know sadness; they will know injustice, poverty, and grinding despair. Most of all, they will realize, albeit far too late, that Hunter wants us to feel sorry for the hideous meatheads who ignore compromise and focus solely on his personal agenda. I think we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that this is not wild speculation. This is not a conspiracy theory. This is documented fact. I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. But Hunter and I disagree about our civic duties. I feel that we must do our utmost to find the inner strength to lead us all toward a better, brighter future as expeditiously as possible. Hunter, on the other hand, believes that his positions are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. I'll give you an example of this, based on my own experience. As you know, several things he has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of his that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how despotism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us.

 

Despite Hunter's evident lack of grounding in what he's talking about, only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to nourish children with good morals and self-esteem. But the first step is to acknowledge that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why life is too short to have to put up with him. My peers claim that the chief difficulty in writing about him is that the messages contained in his double standards are a powerful source of illumination on the behavior of sick, stubborn fogeys. While this is truly true, I suspect we must add that I have had enough of his waste, fraud, misfeasance, and malfeasance. I challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. Before you declare me amoral, let me assert that Hunter's buddies, who are legion, are so ready to steal our birthrights that their sermons are laughable. Period, finis, and Q.E.D. As witnesses to mankind's inner dissatisfaction, we must view the realms of heathenism and sexism not as two opposing poles, but as two continua. I always catch hell whenever I say something like that, so let me assure you that last summer, I attempted what I knew would be a hopeless task. I tried to convince Hunter that the best way to insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward boosterism is to provide you with vital information which he has gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering. As I expected, Hunter was thoroughly unconvinced. He sees all the evidence, but he is reluctant to accept the conclusion that he is like a stray pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Hunter and a pigeon is that Hunter intends to perpetuate the myth that two wrongs make a right. That's why if he can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that he has his moral compass in tact, I will personally deliver his Nobel Prize for Biased Rhetoric. In the meantime, Hunter is stepping over the line when he attempts to tinker about with a lot of halfway prescriptions -- way over the line. Let's face it: Hunter says that the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly. Wow! Isn't that like hiding the stolen goods in the closet and, when the cops come in, standing in front of the closet door and exclaiming, "They're not in here!"? And that's what writing this sort of letter is all about. It's a way to oppose Hunter Hearst Helmsley and all he stands for.

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Guest My Eyebrow is on fire

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Guest BoboBrazil

He used one of those auto flame websites where you get a flame letter and just insert a person's name into it.

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Oh, well he should've clued us in there.

Yeah, sry about that, I was at school when I posted it (for fun) and the bell rang before I could add that, so I just clicked send and left

 

-_-

 

again, sorry about that

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Guest CanadianChris
I thought it was written by the Warrior.

That was my first thought too.

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Ok kids, let me show you how it's done:

 

Go HERE

 

(There might be like 2 or 3 popups, sorry about that, but the page is worth it. I mean hey its no worse than a visit to 1w now is it? :) )

Has anyone read the 'hate-mail' on that Triple H piece of shit site?

 

It's some funny stuff.

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