Guest EMAXSAUN Report post Posted May 1, 2003 http://www.v6power.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=14799 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest EMAXSAUN Report post Posted May 2, 2003 oh come on, someone reply, its funny dammit! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Youth N Asia Report post Posted May 2, 2003 This page cannot be displayed Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest EMAXSAUN Report post Posted May 2, 2003 Well It works for me, but what I'm going to do is copy and past all of them into this thread, read them all, they are friggin hilarious. bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit. bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. bloodninja: Baby? bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass. j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious. bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli3: thats it. bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now. BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh shit BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up. eminemBNJA: Oh shit eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something bloodninja: Wanna cyber? Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables? bloodninja: What like gardening an shit? Katie_007: Yeah, something like that. bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out: bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes. (pause) Katie_007: is that it? bloodninja: You water your tomato patch. bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce? Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me? (pause) bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily. bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains. Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis. bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots. bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT. Katie_007: ... bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here. bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch. Katie_007: whatever. Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny. Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge. Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest. Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling. Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly. Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly. Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing. Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry. Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive. Wellhung: I'll pay for it. Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder. Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors? Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you. Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp. Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me. Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat! Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear. Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really. Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse. Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop. Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool. Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee! Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties. Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute. Sweetheart: What's the matter? Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking. Sweetheart: Are you OK? Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red. Sweetheart: Can I help? Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups? Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink. Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better. Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover. Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now. Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you. Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom? Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall. Wellhung: I found it. Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly. Wellhung: Me too. Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other. Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts. Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses? Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table. Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby! Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom. Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover. Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid. Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return. Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh! Sweetheart: What's the matter now? Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way. Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on. Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing. Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it! Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth BUTT. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here. Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now! Wellhung: I'm flaccid. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection. Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face. Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong. Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse. Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles. Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes. Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face. Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser! Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo! Sweetheart: <logged off> Girl: Hi Boy: hello Boy: who is this? Girl: just a someone? Boy: A someone I know? Girl: nope Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me? Girl: well sorrrrrry Girl: I just wanted to chat with you Boy: why? Girl: nevermind your an asshole Boy: Hey wait a minute Girl: yes? Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid Girl: paranoid? Boy: yes Girl: of what? Girl: me? Boy: No. I'm in hiding. Girl: LOL Boy: Don't ******* laugh at me! Boy: This shit is serious! Girl: What are you hiding from? Boy: The cops. Girl: gimme a ******* break Boy: I'm serious. Girl: I don't get it Boy: The cops are after me. Girl: For what? Boy: I'm wanted in three states Girl: For??? Boy: It's kindof embarrasing. Boy: I had sex with a turkey. Boy: Hello? Girl: You are ******* sick. Boy: Send me your picture. Girl: why? Boy: so I know you aren't one of them. Girl: One of what? Boy: The cops. Girl: I'm not a cop i told you Boy: Then send me your picture. Girl: hold on Boy: Hurry up. Boy: Are you there? Boy: **** you, cop! Girl: Hey sorry Girl: I had to do something for my mom. Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities. Boy: Weren't you!? Girl: thats not it Boy: Then what? Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty Boy: Most cops aren't Girl: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU DICKHEAD! Boy: Then send me the picture. Girl: fine. What's your e-mail? Boy: Just send it through here. Girl: alright *PIC* Girl: Did you get it? Boy: Hold on. I'm looking. Girl: That was me back in may Girl: I've lost weight since then. Boy: I hope so Girl: what?!? Girl: that hurt my feelings. Boy: Did it? Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? Girl: yes Boy: Alright let me find it. Girl: kks Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC* Girl: this isn't you. Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't! Girl: You don't look like that. Boy: How the hell do you know? Girl: cause your profile has another picture. Boy: The profile pic is a fake. Boy: I use it to hide from the cops. Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Boy: Not to mention all the groceries. Girl: Go **** yourself Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week. Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. Girl: You've done nothing but slam me. Girl: you hurt me. Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me! Boy: Why would I do that? Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. Girl: FUC YOU!!! Boy: You'd break both of his legs. Girl: You're a ******* asshole. Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me Boy: Ok. I'm sorry. Girl: No you aren't Boy: You're right. I'm not. Boy: HAARRRRR! Girl: I'm done with you Boy: Aww. I'm sorry. Girl: I'm putting you on ignore Boy: Wait a sec Boy: We got off on the wrong foot. Boy: Wanna start over? Girl: No Boy: I'll eat your pussy Girl: You'll what? Boy: You heard me. Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy. Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy? Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes Boy: Well I'm not like most men. Boy: I get excited in different ways. Girl: Like what? Boy: Do you really wanna know? Girl: I don't know Boy: You have to tell me yes or no. Girl: I'm afraid to Boy: Why? Girl: cause Boy: cause why? Girl: well lets see Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you? Boy: Nope Girl: well its strange to me Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to Girl: I didn't say that Boy: So is that a yes? Girl: I guess so. Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Boy: Are you willing? Girl: What do you need me to do? Boy: I need you talk like a pirate. Girl: ??? Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" Boy: ok? Boy: Hello? Girl: You can't be serious Boy: Oh yes I am! Boy: It's my fantasy. Girl: this is retarded Boy: Do you want it or not? Girl: Yes I want it. Boy: Then you'll do it for me? Girl: sure Boy: Ok. Here we go. Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy. Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit. Girl: mmmm yeah Boy: uh oh ...going limp. Girl: Har Boy: You gotta do better than that! Boy: Your picture was really bad. Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke. Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. Girl: mmmmmm you are good Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder Boy: going limp Girl: HARRRRRRR Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. Boy: You begin to sway back and forth. Boy: going limp Girl: this is stupid Boy: ...still limp Boy: Do it! Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole. Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole. Girl: WTF?!?!? Boy: They stink really bad. Girl: OMG STOP!!! Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Boy: I ram it up your ass. Girl: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!! Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Boy: And turn you into a ******* candy apple... Boy: I kick you in the face! Girl: **** YOU ASSHOLE!! Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Boy: Your parrot flys away. Boy: ...going limp again. Boy: Hello? Boy: Say it! Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!! go back J-Dogg: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch. Partner: mmmm, okay. J-Dogg: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll. Partner: Yeah I like it rough. J-Dogg: I smack you thick booty. Partner: Oh yeah, that feels good j. J-Dogg: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh. J-Dogg: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm. Partner: you like that? J-Dogg: I peel some bananas. Partner: Oh, what are you gonna do with those? J-Dogg: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark. Partner: Peanuts? J-Dogg: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh. Partner: What are you talking about? J-Dogg: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats. Partner: This is stupid. J-Dogg: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer. J-Dogg: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold? J-Dogg: Yeeaahhhh. Partner: /ignore J-Dogg: Its cool stone cold she was a b*tch anyway. J-Dogg: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset. --------------------------------------------------------- J-Dogg: You there baby?? Partner2: Yeah I'm here. J-Dogg: You ready? Partner2: Okay. J-Dogg: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with pistols on my belt. Partner2: Cowboy boots? J-Dogg: WWI era trench issue boots. Partner2: okay... J-Dogg: Help me pull my boots off baby. Partner2: Whats that smell? J-Dogg: Rotting toes. Partner2: Ummm... J-Dogg: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove my tongue down your throat. Partner2: ... J-Dogg: You carress my ass, and trim my pubes... --------------------------------------------------------- J-Dogg: Ok baby, you promise me you will stick around till I'm done? (partner4: Ben Affleck, alone on a saturday night because he is a peice of moldy rat sh*t, is posing as a young girl looking for cyber partners.) Ben:Yeah Mr. Dogg. Anything for you, you are so handsome and studly. J-Dogg: Good, now I'm into some wierd sh*t, so don't be surprised aight? Ben: ok mr. Doggy I promise. J-Dogg: Aight then, we settle down on the couch... Ben: Oh romantic? This isn't wierd, I like it like that baby. What else. J-Dogg: I put in a movie so that your mom can't hear us. It is called "Good Will Hunting". Ben: Aaahhhh.... J-Dogg: I like this movie a lot. Ben: Ok, thats cool. J-Dogg: You start getting frisky so I put my hand down your undies. They have care bears on them. You are my 15 year old niece and we are in my aunts house. Ben: ohhhh I like where this is going... J-Dogg: Suddenly this f*ck with short dark hair comes on the TV screen. I think his name is Ben something. He is a real piece of moldy rat sh*t. I can't keep it up because of him. I need some shark fin soup. Ben: What the f*ck, you are the piece of sh*t, what you got against Ben Affleck, I heard he's real good in the sack, and gets ALL the ladies. J-Dogg: Yeah right, I bet he's at home right now geting it on with some guy. Ben: F*ck you I'm out of here. And Ben Affleck is 100% not gay, I can assure you of that. (Ben logs off and cries himself to sleep) J-Dogg: Goddammit, not again. J-Dogg: Still not hard either. J-Dogg: F*ck. --------------------------------------------------------- Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right? J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie. Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg" J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t. Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun? J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns. Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun? J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby. Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun". J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big. Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do? J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something. Partner6: It likes that. J-Dogg: aight. Partner6: Keep talking to me baby... J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently. Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like. J-Dogg: I unzip my pants... Partner6: Yes, show me what you got. J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts... Partner6: WTF?! J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong! Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck women... J-Dogg: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed! Partner6: You dipsh*t. J-Dogg: I whimper to myself... J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr. --------------------------------------------------------- J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet. Partner8: Who the f*ck are you? J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion: J-Dogg: F*ck me, F*ck me. J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever. Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me? J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh. Partner8: Is that like cancer? J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy. Partner8: Good one romeo. J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku. The salmon swim at night. Towards your room. The snow and the moon. Partner8: that was never a haiku. J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness. Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku" J-Dogg: So you ready to f*ck then? Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent. J-Dogg: ... Partner8: ? J-Dogg: I'm spent. -------------------------------------------------------- Jdogg:Hey QT-Pie:Hey Jdogg:whats goin on QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you? Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber? QT-Pie:what does that mean? Jdogg:what are you wearing? QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans. Jdogg:Garter belt? QT-Pie:Ummm...no. Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not? QT-Pie: uh, okay. Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this. Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your p*ssy stink from here. QT-Pie: WHAT?! Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan. Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg. Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my d*ck puppet. I put on a little play. QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go. Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back. QT-Pie: A stripe? Jdogg: I need a sandwich. QT-Pie: You're a freak. Jdogg: I was great. You loved it. ------------------------------------------- J-dogg:Hey Kate, I saw you on the hs chatroom J-dogg:Your pretty funny DirtyKate:I don't remember you.. but thanx J-dogg:Wanna cyber? DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody DirtyKate:Who are you? J-dogg:I graduated two years ago. I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot. Right now I'm going to Auburn J-dogg:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my new Sebring DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. J-dogg:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. J-dogg:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate:I want everything, baby! J-dogg:Is this a delivery? DirtyKate:Umm...Yes DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... J-dogg:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. <pause> DirtyKate:Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! J-dogg:You can't hurry good pizza. J-dogg:I'm on my way now though <pause> DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now. J-dogg:How did you know? J-dogg:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. J-dogg:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby J-dogg:So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. J-dogg:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate:What the f*ck? DirtyKate:You perverted piece of sh*t DirtyKate:F*ck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Agent_Bond34 0 Report post Posted May 2, 2003 That was pretty funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest EMAXSAUN Report post Posted May 4, 2003 did anyone else read them? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Memphis Report post Posted May 5, 2003 Tatsutoshi Goto says "Sex is great" Good one, Tatsutoshi. M Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest 5_moves_of_doom Report post Posted May 5, 2003 Hilarious, really. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted May 5, 2003 omg that was great! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheArchiteck Report post Posted May 7, 2003 LoL.....that pizza one had me laughing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Slingshot Suplex Report post Posted May 7, 2003 Oh to be young and insane again.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted May 8, 2003 I am SO doing one of those Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Heavy As Hell Report post Posted May 19, 2003 This thread is Sliced Bread #3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest EMAXSAUN Report post Posted May 19, 2003 I am SO doing one of those I know seriously, I want to go into some chatroom as do that so badly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Heel In Peril Report post Posted May 19, 2003 Hilarious!!! I haven't laughed that hard in some time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted May 21, 2003 ok, mine probably isn't as good, but it was fun to do, so I did some JsHaYe34: asl NoArmedWhitey: 17/m/MO JsHaYe34: 15/f/cali NoArmedWhitey: ah NoArmedWhitey: into cybering? JsHaYe34: ye NoArmedWhitey: ok NoArmedWhitey: want to? JsHaYe34: u start NoArmedWhitey: ok NoArmedWhitey: what do you look like NoArmedWhitey: ? JsHaYe34: brown hair and eyes JsHaYe34: tan big tits NoArmedWhitey: I'm kindof tall, I have blond hair, it's kindof spiked up, and I'm wearing a long red trenchcoat JsHaYe34: lol JsHaYe34: kool NoArmedWhitey: ok NoArmedWhitey: what do you want me to do to you? JsHaYe34: ? NoArmedWhitey: we're cybering right? NoArmedWhitey: *anime sweatdrop* JsHaYe34: yea NoArmedWhitey: oh NoArmedWhitey: ok JsHaYe34: start NoArmedWhitey: ok NoArmedWhitey: I start undoing your shirt NoArmedWhitey: my eyes are wiggling with excitement JsHaYe34: lool NoArmedWhitey: whats a lool? NoArmedWhitey: is that some kind of giant robot? NoArmedWhitey: cause it's no match for my Gundam Z NoArmedWhitey: you get in your robot and I get in mine JsHaYe34: lol***** my bad NoArmedWhitey: oh NoArmedWhitey: we get out of our robots NoArmedWhitey: I do this better with some background noise, is it okay if I turn the TV on? JsHaYe34: yea NoArmedWhitey: ok NoArmedWhitey: I turn on Cartoon Network JsHaYe34: lol NoArmedWhitey: Neon Genises Evangelion is on NoArmedWhitey: but it's over NoArmedWhitey: I'm sad NoArmedWhitey: but then you're naked NoArmedWhitey: that makes me not sad JsHaYe34: a better party NoArmedWhitey: yeah NoArmedWhitey: it was a dumb episode anyways NoArmedWhitey: so, we sit on the bed NoArmedWhitey: out of nowhere I pull out my giant gun NoArmedWhitey: er... NoArmedWhitey: bah, you know what I meant JsHaYe34: yea NoArmedWhitey: do you like it rough? JsHaYe34: hell yea NoArmedWhitey: awsm JsHaYe34: lets do it NoArmedWhitey: I go super sayan NoArmedWhitey: I flip you over and shove it in JsHaYe34: yea NoArmedWhitey: I time my rhythum to the theme of Yu Yu Hakusho that's playing in the background NoArmedWhitey: I grab your blue hair NoArmedWhitey: oh, your hair is blue now, btw NoArmedWhitey: want it rougher? NoArmedWhitey: I assume you do and go Super Sayan 2 NoArmedWhitey: now your screaming in some kind of pleasure type dealy JsHaYe34: yea NoArmedWhitey: since we're in my bedroom, my parents are in the next room, so I have to smack some quiet into you JsHaYe34 signed off if anybody likes that one I'll post the really long (seven pages) one Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest EMAXSAUN Report post Posted May 21, 2003 ahaha that was pretty funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheBigCalbowski Report post Posted May 23, 2003 (edited) Nutmeg23Man: do you cyber? MnS32401: oh yes do you Nutmeg23Man: yes Nutmeg23Man: what do you look like? MnS32401: red hair, blue eyes, 5'8 Nutmeg23Man: black hair, brown eyes, 5'7" Nutmeg23Man: yeah i know im short MnS32401: Thats okay Nutmeg23Man: what are you wearing? MnS32401: pants and a tight red shirt Nutmeg23Man: mmmmm Nutmeg23Man: ive got on sweatpants and a tshirt MnS32401: cool can I grab your crouch Nutmeg23Man: please do MnS32401: thanks I am rubbing your dick and hoping you get hard soon. Nutmeg23Man: oh yeah that feels good Nutmeg23Man: i have my hand on your ass MnS32401: Does it, I am going down and starting to suck on your dick MnS32401: I am sucker faster and faster until you get ready to cum Nutmeg23Man: wait stop MnS32401: ok whatever you say baby Nutmeg23Man: i have to brush my teeth MnS32401: ok Nutmeg23Man: i dont want you to smell my breath...i had a bean burrito for lunch MnS32401: Oh ok thanks MnS32401: I ask you for your hand, Nutmeg23Man: i give you my hand MnS32401: I take your hand and walk you to the bed where I lay you down. MnS32401: I begin to take your shirt off and start kissing your neck. MnS32401: I then work my way down and take you pants off. Nutmeg23Man: i sit up and take my socks off MnS32401: I get a grib of your dick and make it stand high. I slowly push your dick into my pussy and start fucking you slowly. Nutmeg23Man: *shwing* Nutmeg23Man: i sit up and suck on your areola MnS32401: I start going faster as i pull off my shirt for you to see. Tits tits everywhere want you feel them Nutmeg23Man: i grab your tits MnS32401: Please suck them for me. Nutmeg23Man: i feel my way to your back Nutmeg23Man: wait a sec Nutmeg23Man: i suck on your left nipple Nutmeg23Man: whats that on your back? Nutmeg23Man: i lay you on the bed on your stomach MnS32401: oh god baby are you going to hit me from behind Nutmeg23Man: i fell off the bed :-( Nutmeg23Man: my head hurts Nutmeg23Man: i climb back on the bed Nutmeg23Man: can you check my ass for me? MnS32401: Oh gosh Ihave to go sorry Nutmeg23Man: i think my hemmrhoids burst :-( Well this isnt quite that good but a couple funny parts. Here's another Nutmeg23Man: what would you do to me? LotsOfSunshine87: pull off ur shirt sit you down then i sit on ur lap and wrap my legs around you kissing you deeply then moaning softly into ur ear Nutmeg23Man: i just got my ear pierced today so be gentle LotsOfSunshine87: alright Nutmeg23Man: i slowly slide off your shirt Nutmeg23Man: im having trouble undoing your bra Nutmeg23Man: one sec LotsOfSunshine87: k Nutmeg23Man: help Nutmeg23Man: i think it's stuck on my finger LotsOfSunshine87: helps you undo it Nutmeg23Man: mmmmm those are nice LotsOfSunshine87: thanx;-) Nutmeg23Man: i lean back on the chair to get the foot rest out Nutmeg23Man: i think its stuck Nutmeg23Man: i get off the chair and lay on the floor LotsOfSunshine87: then i crawl on top of you and rub ur nice body and kiss you all over Nutmeg23Man: careful of my 3rd nipple Nutmeg23Man: i slide off your skirt LotsOfSunshine87: mmm Nutmeg23Man: i pull your thong off LotsOfSunshine87: keep kissing you deeply and licks u down ur neck Nutmeg23Man: im getting a hardon LotsOfSunshine87: mmm nice Nutmeg23Man: i grab two handles that magically appear on the wall behind me and let you keep going LotsOfSunshine87: mmm i lick u down to ur cock and sucks it nice and hard Nutmeg23Man: ouch Nutmeg23Man: i bumped my head :-( LotsOfSunshine87: awwwww Nutmeg23Man: my hardon is gone Nutmeg23Man: lemme get a viagra pill LotsOfSunshine87: k Nutmeg23Man: jeez that was quick Nutmeg23Man: sorry i poked your eye LotsOfSunshine87: it's alright Nutmeg23Man: shit it just went through the roof Nutmeg23Man: it's out of control now Nutmeg23Man: help me!!! LotsOfSunshine87: mmmm keeps kissing u all over LotsOfSunshine87: and moans louder Nutmeg23Man: im shaking LotsOfSunshine87: mmmm Nutmeg23Man: OMG, a satellite just came out of my ass Nutmeg23Man: its transmitting signals Nutmeg23Man: quick go to the computer and tell me where the signals are going to LotsOfSunshine87: ok Nutmeg23Man: is it visitors? LotsOfSunshine87: yea Nutmeg23Man: dont let them take me away LotsOfSunshine87: i won't Nutmeg23Man: i think they wanna install upgrades on the satellite LotsOfSunshine87: ok She stopped after that. Edited May 24, 2003 by TheBigCalbowski Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TwiztidKing Report post Posted May 24, 2003 That was hilarious, I was laughing for at least an hour after reading those then showed everyone I know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted May 24, 2003 in this one, I'm pretending to be a girl, sortof sorry that it's so long NoArmedWhitey: ok NoArmedWhitey: *I start by taking your shirt off NoArmedWhitey: * ReMyDoG420: ya NoArmedWhitey: I take my shorts off, I'm not wearing anything underneath ReMyDoG420: yup NoArmedWhitey: *you take my cock in your hand* ReMyDoG420: NoArmedWhitey: *you take my cock in your hand* NoArmedWhitey: yeah NoArmedWhitey: oh NoArmedWhitey: I mean, that's what you say ReMyDoG420: your a guy NoArmedWhitey: that's what you say ReMyDoG420: ok ReMyDoG420: ok NoArmedWhitey: *you jerk me off until I jizz on your face* NoArmedWhitey: *I get some sea salt and curry* NoArmedWhitey: this is the part of stuff that I'm into that's weird ReMyDoG420: wait i dont get it NoArmedWhitey: I put the curry on the jizz on your face in clown makeup patterns ReMyDoG420: ok NoArmedWhitey: I like one person eating things off the other person's chest NoArmedWhitey: I get some fritos NoArmedWhitey: you like fritos? NoArmedWhitey: sure ya do NoArmedWhitey: I get arrange them in a circle on your chest ReMyDoG420: yup NoArmedWhitey: I get some sloppy joes NoArmedWhitey: and put it in the ring of fritos NoArmedWhitey: I get some of that pbj mix stuff in the jar and put that on top of the sloppy joes NoArmedWhitey: and put salt on top of that ReMyDoG420: dam ReMyDoG420: ok NoArmedWhitey: in a little thing I like to call Sloppy Joes with PBJ and salt on top in a Frito Bowl ReMyDoG420: what the fuck NoArmedWhitey: yeah NoArmedWhitey: told ya it was weird NoArmedWhitey: hang in there ReMyDoG420: ok NoArmedWhitey: it gets sexyer ReMyDoG420: ok NoArmedWhitey: the jizz is off your face now ReMyDoG420: ok' NoArmedWhitey: I pee on the sloppy joes NoArmedWhitey: you eat it like soup ReMyDoG420: ok NoArmedWhitey: I turn the TV on NoArmedWhitey: Sanford and Son is on ReMyDoG420: that a littel fuck up NoArmedWhitey: you love it NoArmedWhitey: that old guy is having a fake heart attack NoArmedWhitey: it sends you into raging orgasms NoArmedWhitey: I cum by proxy NoArmedWhitey: the smell of sex and sloppy joes attracts a duck NoArmedWhitey: it flies into the room quacking up a storm NoArmedWhitey: I cook it for dinner NoArmedWhitey: it's tasty NoArmedWhitey: is this getting you hot, baby? ReMyDoG420: what the fuck NoArmedWhitey: calm down ReMyDoG420: no NoArmedWhitey: I told you NoArmedWhitey: it's gonna get sexyer ReMyDoG420: well i didnt think you ment like that NoArmedWhitey: Will Ferrel walks in NoArmedWhitey: you know, the guy from Old School NoArmedWhitey: he kicks me in the ass until you cum NoArmedWhitey: which is only 2 minutes because it's damn sexy NoArmedWhitey: we kick him out of the house NoArmedWhitey: suddenly NoArmedWhitey: we're in Canada NoArmedWhitey: Sexy Canada NoArmedWhitey: we're on the bed NoArmedWhitey: you're warming me up if you know what I mean ;-) NoArmedWhitey: another girl walks in NoArmedWhitey: we strip you naked NoArmedWhitey: getting hot yet? ReMyDoG420: ya NoArmedWhitey: your cock gets real hard NoArmedWhitey: it pokes her in the eye NoArmedWhitey: she says it hurts, but we pay no mind NoArmedWhitey: we strip her naked NoArmedWhitey: we're having a hard time because she's whining that her fucking eye hurts NoArmedWhitey: you slap some quiet into her NoArmedWhitey: I deserve some of that, too NoArmedWhitey: I've been a naughty girl NoArmedWhitey: but suddenly we're in your bedroom NoArmedWhitey: the lights are out NoArmedWhitey: we're rolling around under the sheets NoArmedWhitey: still hot, babe? ReMyDoG420: ya NoArmedWhitey: good ReMyDoG420: i wann you to get on it NoArmedWhitey: feel free to contribute NoArmedWhitey: I feel like I'm doing all the work ReMyDoG420: then i start to lick your pussy NoArmedWhitey: oooh, yeah ReMyDoG420: and you are like faster NoArmedWhitey: suddenly the cat jumps on the bed ReMyDoG420: so i start to lick it faster NoArmedWhitey: the cat won't leave NoArmedWhitey: the smell of sex and Jell-O is keeping it here ReMyDoG420: so i trow it out the window NoArmedWhitey: the broken glass kills it NoArmedWhitey: we're sad NoArmedWhitey: but still horny NoArmedWhitey: so we keep at it NoArmedWhitey: suddenly the dog jumps on the bed NoArmedWhitey: and it's weenie is hard ReMyDoG420: and you were like put your dick in me NoArmedWhitey: so it does NoArmedWhitey: I've never done this before ReMyDoG420: done what NoArmedWhitey: stuff with a dog NoArmedWhitey: you come up with the kinkiest stuff ReMyDoG420: i dont want eny animas in it NoArmedWhitey: oh NoArmedWhitey: but you own a cat and a dog ReMyDoG420: no ReMyDoG420: no animals NoArmedWhitey: you don't? ReMyDoG420: no NoArmedWhitey: omfg ReMyDoG420: what NoArmedWhitey: WHO'S HOUSE ARE WE IN?! ReMyDoG420: i dont know NoArmedWhitey: the lights turn on NoArmedWhitey: it's the old man and his wife! NoArmedWhitey: We're in his little girls room! NoArmedWhitey: we've smothered her to death with our sex! NoArmedWhitey: run! ReMyDoG420: ya and i start to fuck you NoArmedWhitey: Run the fuck out the window! NoArmedWhitey: he's got a shot gun! NoArmedWhitey: he's shooting at us! NoArmedWhitey: I'll fend him off with me raging hardon! ReMyDoG420: ok do you wanna cyber or not NoArmedWhitey: you get out of here! NoArmedWhitey: I'll meet you at our place in Canada! NoArmedWhitey: Sexy Canada! ReMyDoG420: let talk about just me and you NoArmedWhitey: ok ReMyDoG420: fucking NoArmedWhitey: ok NoArmedWhitey: so we're fucking NoArmedWhitey: you go down to my crotch area NoArmedWhitey: my weenie slaps you in the face ReMyDoG420: you got a dick or something NoArmedWhitey: *sigh* NoArmedWhitey: that's what YOU say NoArmedWhitey: well, at least cybering doesn't require beeing smart ReMyDoG420: then put you not me ReMyDoG420: just get on my dick ReMyDoG420: and ride it like a good bitch ReMyDoG420: ok NoArmedWhitey: ok NoArmedWhitey: so my weenie is hard now NoArmedWhitey: you lick it NoArmedWhitey: and ride it like a good bitch ReMyDoG420: and i start to fuck you and you are scrming harder NoArmedWhitey: yeah ReMyDoG420: tell me how you want it NoArmedWhitey: I want it in the worst way NoArmedWhitey: standing up in a hammock ReMyDoG420: tell me how you going to ride my dick NoArmedWhitey: like this NoArmedWhitey: *demonstrates* NoArmedWhitey: you orgasm just from the sight of it ReMyDoG420: tell me what your going to do to make me come NoArmedWhitey: ok NoArmedWhitey: first, I'm gonna grab your stick NoArmedWhitey: I'm gonna wiggle it in my hand NoArmedWhitey: uh oh NoArmedWhitey: you're limp NoArmedWhitey: you play with it, but it won't get hard NoArmedWhitey: I start laughing at you NoArmedWhitey: you start to cry NoArmedWhitey: I spank you for being a fucking crybaby loser NoArmedWhitey: you love it NoArmedWhitey: I bet you're hot now, yo ReMyDoG420: tell me how your going to make me cum not me crying NoArmedWhitey: that is how you cum ReMyDoG420: i wouldnt be lim nether NoArmedWhitey: you cum crying like a little bitch with a little tiny limp thing between your legs NoArmedWhitey: I take you to a hospital ReMyDoG420: it not tiny NoArmedWhitey: you get a sex change NoArmedWhitey: now your name is Pocahontas NoArmedWhitey: you show me the Colours of the Wind NoArmedWhitey: I'm amazed at the Colours of the Wind NoArmedWhitey: I give you some blankets NoArmedWhitey: you love them NoArmedWhitey: but you get Small Pox NoArmedWhitey: and are sick for a couple months NoArmedWhitey: I give you some medicine and you feel better ReMyDoG420: ok this is not cybering NoArmedWhitey: yeah it is NoArmedWhitey: I'm even touching myself NoArmedWhitey: I'm hot for you baby ReMyDoG420: i want you to make me horny no stuped shit NoArmedWhitey: ok NoArmedWhitey: lets try suggestive questions NoArmedWhitey: what would you do to me if I were a banana? ReMyDoG420: nothing NoArmedWhitey: or an orange maybe NoArmedWhitey: no ReMyDoG420: no NoArmedWhitey: you have to say stuff that you'd do to an orange NoArmedWhitey: only word it so that it's sexually suggestive ReMyDoG420: no ReMyDoG420: i would suck on you tits NoArmedWhitey: oranges don't have tits ReMyDoG420: and start to kiss you NoArmedWhitey: they have citric acid NoArmedWhitey: ooh NoArmedWhitey: you'd kiss my sweet orange skin NoArmedWhitey: would you peel off my outer layer? ReMyDoG420: and start to rub your pussy ReMyDoG420: and you would be like lick my pussy NoArmedWhitey: oranges don't have any of that NoArmedWhitey: they have a rhine NoArmedWhitey: and acid ReMyDoG420: and i would go down on you and start to suck and lick your pussy NoArmedWhitey: weenie ReMyDoG420: and you start to cum NoArmedWhitey: yeah NoArmedWhitey: my semen gets all in your face and eyes NoArmedWhitey: you love it's sweet taste ReMyDoG420: tell me how hard you would fuck me ReMyDoG420: come on make me horny NoArmedWhitey: I take my weenie and put it in your cunt NoArmedWhitey: you squeel NoArmedWhitey: you're wearing a japanese school girl outfit ReMyDoG420: never mind i cant do this with you NoArmedWhitey: sure you can NoArmedWhitey: you're my little bitch now NoArmedWhitey: I slap some quiet into you NoArmedWhitey: you bad little girl NoArmedWhitey: now go fix me some sloppy joes ReMyDoG420: im a guy NoArmedWhitey: I'll eat it off your pussy NoArmedWhitey: no NoArmedWhitey: I'M a guy ReMyDoG420: your something els NoArmedWhitey: no NoArmedWhitey: I'm a guy ReMyDoG420: i know you are NoArmedWhitey: you're a girl NoArmedWhitey: we discussed this NoArmedWhitey: remember? ReMyDoG420: your a fucking retard NoArmedWhitey: you got a sex change ReMyDoG420: no NoArmedWhitey: at least I'm not Pocahontas NoArmedWhitey: now stop singing about the fucking colours of the wind, bitch ReMyDoG420: ok i got to go NoArmedWhitey: no NoArmedWhitey: I'm making you stay NoArmedWhitey: you lick my weenie ReMyDoG420: no NoArmedWhitey: I'm Dennis Hopper NoArmedWhitey: like in Blue Velvet ReMyDoG420: your got something rong with you NoArmedWhitey: oooooh, I'm slutty NoArmedWhitey: the only thing rong with me is that I can spell NoArmedWhitey: you fucking dumb bitch NoArmedWhitey: now fix me some sloppy joes ReMyDoG420: ok ReMyDoG420: lol NoArmedWhitey: that's right NoArmedWhitey: laugh your ass into the kitchen NoArmedWhitey: before I send you back to your indian casino ReMyDoG420: your weard NoArmedWhitey: told you NoArmedWhitey: I'm into some weird stuff ReMyDoG420: ya i guess i should of lisen NoArmedWhitey: I know NoArmedWhitey: not even the most scientific medical doctors can explain it NoArmedWhitey: I hit you with a vibrating Jelly Fish ReMyDoG420: ok NoArmedWhitey: you love this NoArmedWhitey: I remember NoArmedWhitey: when you were litt NoArmedWhitey: le NoArmedWhitey: we used to sit on the swings ReMyDoG420: you been drop on you head didnt you NoArmedWhitey: no NoArmedWhitey: the only thing I drop is my pants NoArmedWhitey: when I'm bending you over ReMyDoG420: im a guy stuped NoArmedWhitey: see, I drop my pants because my weenie is in there NoArmedWhitey: learn to spell NoArmedWhitey: you may be a guy, but you're still a girl NoArmedWhitey: see, the sex change did that NoArmedWhitey: we talked about this NoArmedWhitey: what is this, Memento? NoArmedWhitey: should I call you Lenny? NoArmedWhitey: where's Squiggy? NoArmedWhitey: OMG NoArmedWhitey: BILL MURRAY! NoArmedWhitey: GHOSTBUSTERS! NoArmedWhitey: If there's something strange NoArmedWhitey: in the neighborhood NoArmedWhitey: who ya gonna call? NoArmedWhitey: WHO YA GONNA CALL, BITCH? NoArmedWhitey: Ghostbusters NoArmedWhitey: that's right NoArmedWhitey: I ain't afraid of no ghost NoArmedWhitey: u? NoArmedWhitey: u afraid of no ghost? Previous message was not received by ReMyDoG420 because of error: User ReMyDoG420 is not available. NoArmedWhitey: bitch ReMyDoG420: what NoArmedWhitey: that's right NoArmedWhitey: ok ReMyDoG420: im out bye NoArmedWhitey: no NoArmedWhitey: DON'T GO! NoArmedWhitey: I'm sorry! ReMyDoG420: talk to some one els NoArmedWhitey: we can do like you say! NoArmedWhitey: look! ReMyDoG420: do what NoArmedWhitey: *BUTT sex* NoArmedWhitey: *I'm hot and horney* NoArmedWhitey: *CHILDREN!* NoArmedWhitey: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! NoArmedWhitey: well NoArmedWhitey: it's been kinda fun NoArmedWhitey: but you kinda ruined the whole thing NoArmedWhitey: you agreed to cyber even tho I was into some weird stuff NoArmedWhitey: I think you need to get your shit in order before next time NoArmedWhitey: bye, Pocahontas Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest EMAXSAUN Report post Posted May 24, 2003 LMAO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest the holy grail Report post Posted June 1, 2003 quallity work, especially the guy who thinks he is a wizard made me laugh for along time Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HartFan86 Report post Posted June 2, 2003 My two friends and I got kicked out of the library cause we were laughing so hard at these...I was dying on the Rhino one. Same with the wizard one. And the schlong pulling one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest EMAXSAUN Report post Posted June 3, 2003 My personal favorite is the 2nd wizard one. LMAO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheBigCalbowski Report post Posted June 9, 2003 (edited) She gave me something to work with. scatterheart77: whats up? Nutmeg23Man: nmh Nutmeg23Man: you? scatterheart77: i was hoping you would say YOU WERE . . . Nutmeg23Man: lol Nutmeg23Man: thats classic scatterheart77: ;-) Nutmeg23Man: ok im up Nutmeg23Man: lol scatterheart77: is that the truth? Nutmeg23Man: technicallly yes Nutmeg23Man: im not sleeping at the moment scatterheart77: haha... i didnt mean THAT kind of up... Nutmeg23Man: i know :-P scatterheart77: i meant.. well... another part of you is up.. scatterheart77: ah.. okay Nutmeg23Man: lemme check Nutmeg23Man: nope not up at the moment scatterheart77: why not Nutmeg23Man: nothing to get me up at the moment scatterheart77: no free rides at the moment? Nutmeg23Man: nope Nutmeg23Man: lol scatterheart77: shop closed tonight? Nutmeg23Man: yes it is scatterheart77: a real shame.... i have this nice work bench and all.. Nutmeg23Man: do you really? scatterheart77: wouldnt say so if i didnt scatterheart77: and here i am... scatterheart77: ready to open.. Nutmeg23Man: what have you got in mind? scatterheart77: yet youre closed.. scatterheart77: guess timings off Nutmeg23Man: *throws you the key* Nutmeg23Man: do whatever you want with the key Nutmeg23Man: just make sure you lock the door on your way out if you wanna take anything scatterheart77: puts the key in her mouth... and under her tongue...i'll save it for later... whenever you're ready.. Nutmeg23Man: i'll tell you what, bring me the work bench and i'll see what i can do scatterheart77: smiles scatterheart77: straddles you softly, fully clothed Nutmeg23Man: oh my Nutmeg23Man: *turns off tv* scatterheart77: softly and quietly kisses your cheek Nutmeg23Man: *sweat drop* Nutmeg23Man: *puts bucket underneath bench scatterheart77: slowly moves and kisses your lips Nutmeg23Man: *3 more sweat drops into the bucket* scatterheart77: slides her hand down Nutmeg23Man: *2 sweat drops* scatterheart77: into your pants Nutmeg23Man: *breathing heavily* Nutmeg23Man: *takes out albuterol inhaler* scatterheart77: and lightly strokes you Nutmeg23Man: much better scatterheart77: with one gentle finger Nutmeg23Man: *shaking* scatterheart77: smiles scatterheart77: whispers in your ear . . . are you up? Nutmeg23Man: *whispers in your ear* go in and check scatterheart77: smiles scatterheart77: slowly moves down and unzips your pants with her teeth Nutmeg23Man: *grabs onto nearby cabinet* Nutmeg23Man: *holds on for dear life* scatterheart77: slowly licks from top to bottom scatterheart77: down and up scatterheart77: down and up scatterheart77: over and over Nutmeg23Man: *many many sweat drops* Nutmeg23Man: *bucket fills up* Nutmeg23Man: *puts another bucket underneath* scatterheart77: smiles and whispers again . . . are you up? Nutmeg23Man: yes scatterheart77: are you sure? Nutmeg23Man: yes it is Nutmeg23Man: whoops Nutmeg23Man: sorry i poked your eye Nutmeg23Man: are you okay? scatterheart77: of course scatterheart77: but you need to kiss it now Nutmeg23Man: *pulls out a hershey's kiss and touches your eye with it* scatterheart77: pouts... you dont want to kiss me? scatterheart77: maybe i should go... Nutmeg23Man: maybe if you tempt me more Nutmeg23Man: heh, nah *gives you a kiss on the eye* Nutmeg23Man: *forgets which eye got poked* Nutmeg23Man: *kisses your other eye* scatterheart77: smiles scatterheart77: rubs your member scatterheart77: first slow and soft scatterheart77: gradually faster scatterheart77: and harder Nutmeg23Man: oh my scatterheart77: cum on... cum on.. scatterheart77: kisses the tip Nutmeg23Man: *fills up another sweat bucket* scatterheart77: then lightly licks it scatterheart77: smiles Nutmeg23Man: *its getting too hot in here* scatterheart77: opens her mouth Nutmeg23Man: *help me cool down* scatterheart77: takes you in... inch by inch Nutmeg23Man: *trying to hold it in* Nutmeg23Man: *still trying* scatterheart77: sucking you scatterheart77: harder and harder Nutmeg23Man: *turns a fan on* scatterheart77: your stretching my mouth Nutmeg23Man: *installs an AC unit Nutmeg23Man: *cools down a bit* Nutmeg23Man: *much better* scatterheart77: im almost choking scatterheart77: damn you're hard scatterheart77: how big are you? Nutmeg23Man: *reaches for the freezer and gets an ice cream sandwich Nutmeg23Man: your not even half way down Nutmeg23Man: keep going scatterheart77: help me out a little Nutmeg23Man: show me something scatterheart77: take off my clothes or something scatterheart77: im sucking so hard Nutmeg23Man: ive only got 2 hands scatterheart77: i barely have energy for anything else right now Nutmeg23Man: lemme finish my ice cream sandwich first Nutmeg23Man: *finishes ice cream sandwich* Nutmeg23Man: *remembers seth green in italian job* "so loud it blows women's clothes off" Nutmeg23Man: *buys stereo seth green mentioned* Nutmeg23Man: *turns volume to the max* Nutmeg23Man: *blows your clothes off* Nutmeg23Man: there scatterheart77: forgive me for saying so... but where's the love heh... are you gonna help me cum? Nutmeg23Man: im too worn out Nutmeg23Man: and that stereo cleaned my bank account scatterheart77: should i find another guy then? Nutmeg23Man: get me some more sweat buckets and i'll help you more Nutmeg23Man: cause ive filled up 6 of em already scatterheart77: you havent helped me scatterheart77: havent even touched me scatterheart77: ive helped you scatterheart77: haha Nutmeg23Man: well i got one hand holding on to a cabinet for dear life and ive been changing sweat buckets with the other Nutmeg23Man: i just dont wanna fall off this workbench scatterheart77: i think im gonna find a guy whos not only willing to RECEIVE.... but to GIVE too.... Nutmeg23Man: i can only give when im not holding on for dear life scatterheart77: then stop holding on for dear life Nutmeg23Man: i cant scatterheart77: whys that Nutmeg23Man: i'll fall off scatterheart77: grabs you hard and throws you to the floor scatterheart77: were gonna do it doggie style now Nutmeg23Man: *ouch* Nutmeg23Man: i bumped my head :-( scatterheart77: slides herself over you scatterheart77: opens wide scatterheart77: and takes you into her mouth Nutmeg23Man: *shakes* Nutmeg23Man: *sweats* scatterheart77: her head is constantly thrown back and forth.. im working you harder than ever Nutmeg23Man: *wants to touch you* Nutmeg23Man: *lifts up arms* Nutmeg23Man: *knocks over bucket of glue* Nutmeg23Man: SHIT!!! Nutmeg23Man: *glue all over the floor* Nutmeg23Man: *arms stuck to floor* scatterheart77: hahahahaha... what a jerk Nutmeg23Man: *stuck to the floor* Nutmeg23Man: call the fire dept scatterheart77: better yet.. ill go get them scatterheart77: see ya Edited June 9, 2003 by TheBigCalbowski Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheBigCalbowski Report post Posted June 19, 2003 Nutmeg23Man: put on that minnie mouse costume in the corner BSexybabe12345: ok BSexybabe12345: i am getting naked BSexybabe12345: and now i am putting on the costume Nutmeg23Man: i put on a pluto costume BSexybabe12345: ok Nutmeg23Man: get down on all fours BSexybabe12345: ok Nutmeg23Man: im doing you doggy style now Nutmeg23Man: cause pluto always wanted to fuck minnie BSexybabe12345: oooooooooo BSexybabe12345: oooooooo BSexybabe12345: harder BSexybabe12345: harder Nutmeg23Man: my friend walks in wearing a goofy costume Nutmeg23Man: i step off and give him a turn on you Nutmeg23Man: you like doggy fucking? BSexybabe12345: ya Nutmeg23Man: i take off the pluto costume and put on a mickey costume BSexybabe12345: nice Nutmeg23Man: i get jealous of goofy and i kick his ass BSexybabe12345: even better Nutmeg23Man: i kick him in the balls BSexybabe12345: well dont spend all u time with him and forget about wet minny Nutmeg23Man: goofy is dead now Nutmeg23Man: i have to go outside and bury his body BSexybabe12345: what about minny she is all wet and needs her micky BSexybabe12345: ok BSexybabe12345: but BSexybabe12345: minny is goign to dry up Nutmeg23Man: donald duck walks in BSexybabe12345: and Nutmeg23Man: donald duck starts chomping on your clit with his bill Nutmeg23Man: im still burying goofy BSexybabe12345: oooooooo BSexybabe12345: oooooooo BSexybabe12345: ooooo BSexybabe12345: o BSexybabe12345: ooooo BSexybabe12345: that feels so good Nutmeg23Man: i walk back in Nutmeg23Man: i see donald having his way with you BSexybabe12345: and Nutmeg23Man: i pull out a rifle Nutmeg23Man: i shoot him BSexybabe12345: ok Nutmeg23Man: i roast him BSexybabe12345: ok Nutmeg23Man: roast duck Nutmeg23Man: yummy!!! Nutmeg23Man: you want some? Nutmeg23Man: you want some roast duck? Nutmeg23Man: its really good Nutmeg23Man: well fine then more roast duck for me This one is better than my other ones. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SweetNSexyDiva Report post Posted June 20, 2003 These are friggin hilarious! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest EMAXSAUN Report post Posted June 20, 2003 Nutmeg23Man: put on that minnie mouse costume in the corner BSexybabe12345: ok BSexybabe12345: i am getting naked BSexybabe12345: and now i am putting on the costume Nutmeg23Man: i put on a pluto costume BSexybabe12345: ok Nutmeg23Man: get down on all fours BSexybabe12345: ok Nutmeg23Man: im doing you doggy style now Nutmeg23Man: cause pluto always wanted to fuck minnie BSexybabe12345: oooooooooo BSexybabe12345: oooooooo BSexybabe12345: harder BSexybabe12345: harder Nutmeg23Man: my friend walks in wearing a goofy costume Nutmeg23Man: i step off and give him a turn on you Nutmeg23Man: you like doggy fucking? BSexybabe12345: ya Nutmeg23Man: i take off the pluto costume and put on a mickey costume BSexybabe12345: nice Nutmeg23Man: i get jealous of goofy and i kick his ass BSexybabe12345: even better Nutmeg23Man: i kick him in the balls BSexybabe12345: well dont spend all u time with him and forget about wet minny Nutmeg23Man: goofy is dead now Nutmeg23Man: i have to go outside and bury his body BSexybabe12345: what about minny she is all wet and needs her micky BSexybabe12345: ok BSexybabe12345: but BSexybabe12345: minny is goign to dry up Nutmeg23Man: donald duck walks in BSexybabe12345: and Nutmeg23Man: donald duck starts chomping on your clit with his bill Nutmeg23Man: im still burying goofy BSexybabe12345: oooooooo BSexybabe12345: oooooooo BSexybabe12345: ooooo BSexybabe12345: o BSexybabe12345: ooooo BSexybabe12345: that feels so good Nutmeg23Man: i walk back in Nutmeg23Man: i see donald having his way with you BSexybabe12345: and Nutmeg23Man: i pull out a rifle Nutmeg23Man: i shoot him BSexybabe12345: ok Nutmeg23Man: i roast him BSexybabe12345: ok Nutmeg23Man: roast duck Nutmeg23Man: yummy!!! Nutmeg23Man: you want some? Nutmeg23Man: you want some roast duck? Nutmeg23Man: its really good Nutmeg23Man: well fine then more roast duck for me This one is better than my other ones. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HartFan86 Report post Posted June 23, 2003 LMAO @ Minnie/Mickey/Goofy/Donald one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites