JD Thoughts and Predictions

[Guest Kanenite#357]

I didn't think it was possible, but this upcoming PPV looks like it will surpass King of the Ring 1995 as the worst WWF PPV ever. Heck this could even rival Heroes of Wrestling for sheer crappiness.

 

Onto the matches:

 

1.Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria vs. Jackie-Fatal Four way for the Women's title

 

Man, the lack of depth on the Raw roster is killing the women's division. Haven't the first three women in this match already fought numerous times on both free tv and PPV before this? And what did Jackie do to earn a title shot anyway?

 

What Should Happen: Trish will regain the belt since this is preferable to having her chase the title for the next ten months.

 

What Will Happen: Jazz retains

 

2.The IC title Battle Royal

 

Now if I were a cynic, I would say that this match was created for the sole purpose of ensuring that the upper-midcard gets their PPV pay. If I were a bitter internet smark, I would further say that the end result will be yet another attempt to get Billy Gunn over.

 

What Should Happen: Chris Beniot will win the title and bring it over to Smackdown where it has a better chance of being treated with respect.

 

What Will Happen: Either Billy Gunn or Chris Jericho will leave with the belt. They are the only ones who have a chance.

 

3.HHH vs. Big Daddy Tool for the Raw title

 

This match must pose a bit of a dilemma for HHHaters because if anyone deserves to get humiliated and buried, its Kevin Nash.

 

What Should Happen: HHH squashes Nash in under two minutes and makes sure that he never appears on TV again.

 

What Will Happen:Since the Russo rule states that when presented with a series of alternatives, the most fucking stupid one will be chosen, Your winner and new Raw champion, Kevin Nash.

 

4.Torrie vs. Sable in a bikini constest.

 

Don't we see these two in revealing outfits every week? What can they possibly provide at the PPV? And Why does Torrie get more TV time than both the Raw and Smackdown champions combined?

 

What Should Happen: The WWF will realize what a dumb idea this match is and cancel it. A cruiserweight title match will replace it.

 

What Will Happen: This nonsense will somehow last about 15 minutes.

 

5.Spanky/Rhyno/Beniot vs. John Cena and the FBI

 

Meaningless match to satiate the workrate fans.

Why are they even bothering with the FBI anyway? Everyone know that the Undertaker will squash them when he returns.

 

What Should Happen:The entire match is designed to make Beniot look awesome and the FBI look like the jobbers that they are.

 

What Will Happen:The FBI will go over, dragging everyone down to their level in the process.

 

6. Eddie Guerrero and ??? vs. Team Angle in a Ladder match for the Smackdown tag titles

 

The only interesting thing about this match is the mystery as to who Eddies' partner will be now that Chavo is injured. Its probably going to be Rikishi.

 

What Should Happen: Team Angle Retains in a good match

 

What Will Happen: Same outcome but in a trainwreck of a match.

 

7.Brock Lesnar vs. the Big Fat Lazy Piece of Shit in a Stretcher match for the WWF title.

 

Why oh Why does the Big Show continue to plague my tv set!? Couldn't they have gone with Lesnar vs the A-Train or Lesnar vs. Cena instead?

 

What Should happen: A horde of crazed Norwegian Whale hunters attack the Big Slow with harpoons before the match even starts. Big Slow runs away like a bat out of hell and is never seen or heard from again on WWf TV.

 

What Will Happen: Come on, Brock Lesnar is even less likely to job than HHH.

 

8.Piper vs Mr. America in a First person to break a hip loses match.

 

Who the hell thought this was a good idea!!? Do these two have compromising photos of Vince McMahon or something?

 

What Should happen: Both people will suffer career ending injuries in the first sixty seconds of the match.

 

What Will Happen: This farce will get at least twenty minutes with Mr. America going over and continuing his wretched feud with Vince.

 

 

How can anyone book a PPV that on paper, looks as though a match involving the Big Show isn't even going to be the worst match on the card? Has the entire McMahon family lost their minds?

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

I doubt that the common fan even remembers Billy G's cup of tea with the IC title. But I do hope that the monkey boy does head over to RAW, in spite of the rumors that he's SD bound. *grumble*

 

BTW, looking around, I doubt the 'workrate fans' are even giving the card the time of day, making the 6-man (which hasn't even been announced yet) even more meaningless, aside from giving those involved a PPV $$$$ cut.

[Guest AndrewTS]

Bikini Challenge -- who cares?

 

Women's Title Match -- Trish will retain I guess.

 

La Resistance vs. Pumped Testicles -- who cares?

 

IC Battle Royale -- Even if someone who doesn't suck wins it, it'll get lost in the stuff.

 

SD tag title ladder match -- I expect Team Angle to retain--I wonder who will replace Chavo, though.

 

Nash vs. Trips -- who cares? I expect Nash to win though.

 

Show vs. Brock-- pfffft--yeah right. Brock wins.

[Guest Choken One]

The only draws for the show me are The Battle Royale (I love them) and The Ladder Match...

 

We still don't have confirmation of the Six Man Match...

 

Why couldn't we just go with Spanky Vs Cena and throw Benoit to Eddy...

[Guest wwF1587]

i predict i wont give a shit come sunday... i also predict i wont care today either

 

 

 

I WAS RIGHT!

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

Women's Title Match -- Trish will retain I guess.

Retain?

[Guest Choken One]

See...No one even knows who are the champions...

[Guest NoSelfWorth]

I could not care less about this abortion of a PPV. I could try, but I would not be successful.

[Guest Choken One]

I swear If I don't order it and QUAD III or Mysterio joins Eddy and proceeds to have a ***** classic...I still be perfectly fine because I didn't watch the abomination that will the Strecher Match.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

OK, I have not seen the Andre/Khan match, but am I missing something? Is there an element to a stretcher match that makes it the "most brutal match there is" as proclaimed by Boobs McMahon, moreso than Hell in a Cell, for example?

[Guest Choken One]

The CONCEPT is more brutal then HIAC...but it never works out that way because it really kills the flow because really the whole consists of Weak Chair shots and 15 minutes of loading the guy on a Strecher..

 

Look at RVD/SABU...Good match ruined by the whole...Strap the guy on a Strecher concept...

 

Last Man Standing would've been just as well and pretty much same concept...

[Guest Kanenite#357]

I think that this will be the first WWF PPV where Scott Keith uses his Hot Pokers up the Ass rating system. I wonder who in the WWF is going to be Scott's figurative victim.

[Guest NoSelfWorth]

I think it's because, in theory, you have to batter your opponent senseless to win a Stretcher Match. Which is suppsed to make it more brutal than any other match. And this Stretcher Match will indeed be brutal. Though not how they want it to be.

[Guest Choken One]

Don't worry...I'm sure Benoit and Jericho are *SAVED*...

[Guest Choken One]

I think it's because, in theory, you have to batter your opponent senseless to win a Stretcher Match. Which is suppsed to make it more brutal than any other match. And this Stretcher Match will indeed be brutal. Though not how they want it to be.

U know if they just go in...Slam fists into each other...Bust each other up...Throw a Couple Chairs into Lesnar's Skull and crash TBS through a Glass Window and Run SHOW over with a Hummer...It might hit **.

[Guest FeArHaVoC]

Bikini Challenge -- Vince is the only one who wants to see this, so he wins, I guess.

 

Women's Title Match -- Jackie wins, just to piss me off. They should have Gail Kim debut here and cost Trish the match. I could handle a Trish/Gail feud.

 

La Resistance vs. Steiner/Test -- Frenchies win. Test's "long awaited" heel turn finally happens.

 

IC Battle Royale -- Some how Goldberg enters the match and wins.

 

SD tag title ladder match -- I read Rey is doing alot better so he'll probably replace Chavo. Team Angle still wins though.

 

Nash vs. Trips -- Nash wins here. Triple H gets the belt back at Badd Blood. Then Triple H and Goldberg go on to have a very long and boring feud for the next two months until Goldberg wins the belt at Summerslam.

 

Show vs. Brock-- Brock wins.

 

Smackdown won't have another PPV until July and Brock's title reign is bombing fast, along with the whole Smackdown roster. What the Hell are they going to do with Brock for two months?

 

Angle should be returning in less then a month and probably go back into a feud with Brock. IMO, they should hype the Hell out of Angle's return and save it for July's PPV. It gives Angle and WWE time to make sure Angle is 100%.

 

Just don't know if Smackdown can survive any longer without Angle?

[Bored 0]

I don't really care enough to bother to make predictions but out of Boredom I dug up the prediction from a Triple H fan site for his match:

 

HHH vs. Kevin Nash w/ Flair & HBK in the corners for RAW title:

Ah, I’ve been looking forward to this match for years, literally. My two favorites one-on-one, with my third favorite at ringside. Now, I know that the majority of netwriters are ripping Kevin to pieces for his house show matches with Hunter recently, and I have this to say to those people: You are all a bunch of dumbasses. Give the guy a break, he’s 43, just spent 9 months rehabbing, he comes back and wrestles a few times and just because he’s not the second-coming of Chris Benoit, everybody starts bashing him? How stupid can people be? Hunter is ten years Kevin’s junior and didn’t start wrestling his best again for months after his return. These imbeciles gave Kevin all of about two weeks before the ripping began. Sometimes I’m ashamed to call myself an internet wrestling fan, if it means being grouped in with these clowns. I’m not expecting a five-star classic from this one, but I’m sure they’ll both give it everything they have, and that’s what matters to me. The rest of those smart marks can go to hell.

Sarah picks: Triple H, because they have to set up the Hunter/Goldbarf feud

 

Speaking of Goldbarf, he doesn’t have a match. Bwahahahaha, that’s what he gets for stinking up the ring at Backlash. NOTHING!

[Guest Choken One]

Wow. A HHH apoligist. It does EXIST!

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

Such poor logic, and hypocritical as well.

 

So Goldberg must be condemned for a poor performance but Nash exempted because of his age and poor conditioning, which by rights should keep him from being in the position he's in in the first place?

 

Ah well, the 0.4 buyrate must come from somewhere, I guess.........

[Guest FeArHaVoC]

Hunter is ten years Kevin’s junior and didn’t start wrestling his best again for months after his return.

Come again?

[Guest Choken One]

So was she saying that HHH was better POST injury then he was before?

 

I think she's been taking Lex Luger's Pills...

[Guest AndrewTS]

Women's Title Match -- Trish will retain I guess.

Retain?

Oh...well, Jazz then. I'm guessing Brock and Trips still hold their titles. Since there is no Raw tag title match I'm guessing RVD and Kane have them and are defending on Heat.

 

I think that this will be the first WWF PPV where Scott Keith uses his Hot Pokers up the Ass rating system. I wonder who in the WWF is going to be Scott's figurative victim.

 

Vince, he's the one who dictates the main ideas to the writers.

[Guest NoSelfWorth]

Sarah is probably a fat 13 year old, who has posters of Kevin Nash and Cripple H plastered all over her room. Maybe she should stuff a Twinky in her mouth every time the crowd at JD shit on a blown spot, or poorly executed move in her dream match. She probably shouldn't, or she'll never be able to leave her room as she'd get stuck in the doorframe.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Look at RVD/SABU...Good match ruined by the whole...Strap the guy on a Strecher concept...

I didn't mind Sabu-RVD as a match, but I agree witht he stretcher part. At least RVD-Sabu had spots involving the stretcher, giving it a reason for being there. Show is not gonna do a somersault plancha onto Lesnar, onto a stretcher...although, if that happened I would mark the hell out and worship Big Show as my new god.

 

Sarah is probably a fat 13 year old, who has posters of Kevin Nash and Cripple H plastered all over her room. Maybe she should stuff a Twinky in her mouth every time the crowd at JD shit on a blown spot, or poorly executed move in her dream match. She probably shouldn't, or she'll never be able to leave her room as she'd get stuck in the doorframe.

 

There ya go folks, your logic for the day...you HAVE to be a fat kid to like Triple H. Thanks for that...

 

Speaking of Goldbarf, he doesn’t have a match. Bwahahahaha, that’s what he gets for stinking up the ring at Backlash. NOTHING!

 

I thought Goldberg injured his hand in the Cage Match. And anyway, he's being re-built...if you've been watching over the last week, they've dropped him down the card to destroy guys like 3MW, Stevie and Christian. Show off his power, put over the Spear...thus, getting him over again. They're booking him well IMO. So I'm not complaining.

 

Oh...well, Jazz then. I'm guessing Brock and Trips still hold their titles. Since there is no Raw tag title match I'm guessing RVD and Kane have them and are defending on Heat.

 

They're both in the IC Battle Royal.

[Guest NoSelfWorth]

Sarah is probably a fat 13 year old, who has posters of Kevin Nash and Cripple H plastered all over her room. Maybe she should stuff a Twinky in her mouth every time the crowd at JD shit on a blown spot, or poorly executed move in her dream match. She probably shouldn't, or she'll never be able to leave her room as she'd get stuck in the doorframe.

 

There ya go folks, your logic for the day...you HAVE to be a fat kid to like Triple H. Thanks for that...

Maybe I missed it, but could you point out where in my post I said she had to be fat because she is a fan of Cripple H.

[Guest CanadianChick]

Sarah is probably a fat 13 year old, who has posters of Kevin Nash and Cripple H plastered all over her room. Maybe she should stuff a Twinky in her mouth every time the crowd at JD shit on a blown spot, or poorly executed move in her dream match. She probably shouldn't, or she'll never be able to leave her room as she'd get stuck in the doorframe.

 

There ya go folks, your logic for the day...you HAVE to be a fat kid to like Triple H. Thanks for that...

Maybe I missed it, but could you point out where in my post I said she had to be fat because she is a fan of Cripple H.

Well why else would you say she was probably a fat 13 year-old girl?

[Guest NoSelfWorth]

Sarah is probably a fat 13 year old, who has posters of Kevin Nash and Cripple H plastered all over her room. Maybe she should stuff a Twinky in her mouth every time the crowd at JD shit on a blown spot, or poorly executed move in her dream match. She probably shouldn't, or she'll never be able to leave her room as she'd get stuck in the doorframe.

 

There ya go folks, your logic for the day...you HAVE to be a fat kid to like Triple H. Thanks for that...

Maybe I missed it, but could you point out where in my post I said she had to be fat because she is a fan of Cripple H.

Well why else would you say she was probably a fat 13 year-old girl?

Because of how she carried herself.

[Guest CanadianChick]

Question: I can see how you can make yourself out to look like a 13 year-old girl, but how can you make yourself out to be a fat 13 year-old girl?

[King Cucaracha 0]

Question: I can see how you can make yourself out to look like a 13 year-old girl, but how can you make yourself out to be a fat 13 year-old girl?

Eating 'twinkies' and pretending to get stuck in her doorframe would be a good start.

[LooseCannon25 0]

1) Tag Team Ladder Match ---- Could be great if Rey Mysterio is the surprise partner. I think it'll get a solid ***.

 

2) Cena/FBI vs. Benoit/Rhyno/Spanky ---- Should be solid and entertaining with not ONE Bad worker in the match. **1/2 to ***

 

3)Torrie vs. Sable ---- Terrible, terrible, terrible. Nobody gives a shit about this. DUD

 

4)IC Battle Royal ---- Some good workers, but could end up being a clusterfuck or will be pretty entertaining. **1/4

 

5)4 Way Womens match ---- Piss break time for me, but they'll probably work their asses of. I'd like to know how Jackie earned her shot. 1/2

 

6)HHH v. Nash ---- One breakin down worker and one completely broken down non worker add up to maybe the worst title match on ppv since Diesel vs. Mabel. 12 hot pokers up the ass

 

7)Brock vs. Big Show ---- Since there are no other top heels on Smackdown i understand why show gets this match. Hopefully, Brock beats Show into retirement. *