worst 10 movies ever

[Guest Sturgis]

1) GRUNT: A Wrestling Movie (I just watched it)

Damn and here I thought I was the only person to ever see that movie.

 

P.S. Send it to RD at WrestleCrap he'll love it.

[Guest bps "The Truth" 21]

Ransom

The Patriot

Spider-Man

 

More to follow

[Guest Smark-Raving Mad]

1) Going Overboard (If you are an Adam Sandler fan and wish to stay that way, don't ever see this movie)

2) Blood Work (Wanda DeJesus is the worst actress of all-time and possibly the antichrist for making Eastwood look that bad)

3) Nothing But Trouble (Digital Underground never recovered)

4) Die Another Day (Yo momma indeed)

5) Armageddon (Murphy's Law to the f-ing ridiculous extreme! I could never watch this movie again)

6) AI (most depressing movie I've ever seen)

7) The Stuff (Killer Yogurt!)

8) Batman and Robin (Clooney had the same stupid look on his face the whole movie)

9) Dumb and Dumberer (was everything I hoped it would be)

10) Space Jam (speaks for itself)

[Guest Downhome]

I watched Dumb and Dumberer, and it's quite possibly the worst "comedy" I've ever seen. It was fucking tripe, and it never should've been made. I'll say just a few more things about it...

 

...Eugene Levy and Cheri Oteri were just HORRIBLY misused. The two are usually great, especially Eugene, but this film was just not for them. Why they even were in it, I have no idea. I HUGE waste of talent there. The same could be said for Luis Guzmán I suppose, just totally misused.

 

I LOVED the performances of Eric Christian Olsen (Lloyd) and Derek Richardson (Harry). I can't express enough how much I loved their performances. Almost the entire film, I felt as if I was just watching the true younger versions of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, they were just great and were absolutely perfect. As you can see, the problem was not with the performances, no, not at all.

 

THE SCRIPT WAS JUST A HUGE PILE OF ASS!

 

Not only is this possibly the worst "comedy" I've ever seen, but the script itself it more than likely the worst I've ever seen be brought to screen. It angers the hell out of me that such great performances could be totally wiped out because of the script. None of the characters had ANYTHING to work with, nothing, nada, period.

 

It's a shame, as this could've been great, but it ended up being one of the lowest moments in film's history that I can recall.

 

Robert Brenner, who did the story and the screenplay, you can suck my nuts, you worthless, talentless hack. YOU are all that is wrong with Hollywood, and you give a bad name to anyone who has ever wrote anything, even a simple word.

 

UGH!

 

There are plenty of other horrible movies, but this is the most recent one that I just had to rant about for a second, heh.

[Guest NCJ]

For pure dissapointment: Mortal Kombat Annhilation. I was very surprised by how cool the first one was considering how bad Hollywood interpations of videogames can be. But damn the second one sucked triple cock, balls, and ass to make up for the first one being better than avervage.

 

For sheer 80's suckiness: The American Ninja series. I love terrible karate movies and this is definately one of the worst.

 

Worst periord: Leprachaun in the hood. The worst there is, the worst there was, and the worst there ever will be.

[Guest Marshall]

4. O Brother Where Art Thou? - a complete waste of my time

Some people are just weird.

 

I think the movies that really deserve to be called the worst are the movies with big budgets, but really suck. They have no reason to suck, the had all the money thrown at them but they turn out unwatchable; Battlefield Earth, The core, etc. Not Braindead (Dead Alive is a fucking lame title), no way.

[Guest caboose]

Scary Movie 2 - The first had me in hysterics, this just made me sad.

 

Men In Black 2 - A terrible, terrible sequel.

 

Austin Powers 3 - A terrible, terrible, terrible sequel.

 

Batman & Robin - Worst. Film. EVER. Not one redeeming feature.

 

Batman Forever - Destroyed Tim Burton's gothic world of Batman.

 

Lost In Space - Why even bother with a script like that?

 

Titanic - Exploiting the death of hundreds to tell a cliched love story.

 

Planet Of The Apes (2002 Remake) - This time Burton soils a franchise.

 

The Sixth Sense - Overrated piece of crap. The twist ending makes it impossible to watch film a second time.

 

Moulin Rouge - A camp musical starring everyone's favourite attention whore Miss Kidman.

[The Dames 0]

For pure dissapointment: Mortal Kombat Annhilation. I was very surprised by how cool the first one was considering how bad Hollywood interpations of videogames can be. But damn the second one sucked triple cock, balls, and ass to make up for the first one being better than avervage.

 

TESTIFY~!!

 

For sheer 80's suckiness: The American Ninja series. I love terrible karate movies and this is definately one of the worst.

 

How DARE You. Michael Dudikoff owns each and every one of you.

 

Dames

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

I wasn't really a big fan of the entire Jurrassic Park franchise.

 

Off the top of my head:

 

1) GRUNT: A Wrestling Movie (I just watched it)

2) Twins (with Ah-nahld and Danny Devito)

3) Trapped in Paradise

4) Mr. Nanny

5) Police Academy series

6) The Fast and the Furious

7) Jurrassic Park franchise

8) Any Given Sunday

9) Billy Madison

10) Major League 3: Back to the Minors

You named 5 movies or so I wouldn't mind watching right NOW

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

1. The Cars That Ate Paris

2. It's Alive!

3. The 3 Ninjas Franchise

4. Grease

5. Speed 2

6. Battlefield Earth

7. Speed

8. Hobgoblins

9. Signs

10. Starship Troopers

[Guest Zack Malibu]

For sheer 80's suckiness: The American Ninja series. I love terrible karate movies and this is definately one of the worst.

 

How DARE You. Michael Dudikoff owns each and every one of you.

 

Dames

I swear, between the freestyle and the American Ninja love, I think Dames is my illegitimate brother.

[The Dames 0]

I'm 2 Legit 2 Quit, Zacky-Poo.

 

Quick question I meant to ask you...

 

Who sings the freestyle classic that goes "You'll never find another love like mine...you look and you look, you'll never find love. (You broke my heart) A love like mine is hard to find..."

 

I have the mp3, but they name Coro as the artist and I'm sure that's wrong.

 

Dames

[Guest notJames]

I don't watch bad movies.

 

By that I mean if I have any doubts as to the entertainment value of a movie, I will avoid it at all costs. This pretty much goes for about 95% of Hollywood's major releases. (Yes, I'm a bit of a film snob.)

 

That being said, I have watched the occasional bad movie because of someone's recommendations, the latest of which was Insomnia. It was the Lance Storm of suspense thrillers. Boooorrrrriiing. Thank god I only shelled out for a rental instead of a theatrical release. Before that was Signs, an absolute waste of time. It totally justified my having never seen M. Night Shyamlan's other movies.

 

I would have included Far From Heaven, but that was merely not my cup of tea as opposed to being extremely offensive to me. and while My Big Fat Greek Wedding wasn't the worst film, I thought it wasn't anything I hadn't seen before (and done better). Definitely not worth the hype.

 

I'm sure I've watched my fair share of bad movies in my youth, but right now I can't think of any.

Edited June 18, 2003 by notJames

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

I'm 2 Legit 2 Quit, Zacky-Poo.

 

Quick question I meant to ask you...

 

Who sings the freestyle classic that goes "You'll never find another love like mine...you look and you look, you'll never find love. (You broke my heart) A love like mine is hard to find..."

 

I have the mp3, but they name Coro as the artist and I'm sure that's wrong.

 

Dames

The original "You'll Never Find (Another Love Like Mine)" was done by Lou Rawls. What you have, I couldn't tell you.

 

And I too mark for the American Ninja series. '80's karate movies are one of all time favorite genres behind blacksploitation.

 

As a side note, I caught Delta Force on TBS late last night.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

I'm 2 Legit 2 Quit, Zacky-Poo.

 

Quick question I meant to ask you...

 

Who sings the freestyle classic that goes "You'll never find another love like mine...you look and you look, you'll never find love. (You broke my heart) A love like mine is hard to find..."

 

I have the mp3, but they name Coro as the artist and I'm sure that's wrong.

 

Dames

I want to say Noel, because I KNOW I've heard that song before. I'll have to scour my mp3's and freestyle mixes, because I have to have it listed somewhere.

[The Dames 0]

It's probably Noel, sounds more like Noel than Coro, I'll tell you that much.

 

Dames

[Guest Youth N Asia]

Last year I watched 3 shitters in a row:

 

The Mummy Returns...way predictable and just awful "comedy"

 

Tomb Raider...just an excuse to have Jolie bouncing around, which I'm ok with, but the movie was awful.

 

And the new Planet of the Apes movie...too predictable and it was just weak.

[Just John 0]

I can't do 10 off the top of my head, so here's my bottom 5:

 

5. The Scorpion King (riddled w/ Clichés and bad acting, and to think they're making a sequel!)

4. Scary Movie 2 (first one was pretty good, this one blew)

3. 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (You could actually put any Hulk Hogan movie here)

2. Freddy Got Fingered (how anyone could laugh with, not at, this travesty is beyond me)

1. Shadow of the Wolf (the less you know about this the better)

[Guest Ravenbomb]

I don't understand why the only movies that should be able to be called the worst movies ever are movies with big budgets that ended up sucking. Just because they didn't have a budget we should go easy on them? Big Budget movies can suck (Battlefield Earth) and no budget movies can be awsm (Evil Dead, TCM, Clerks etc). If the movie is bad, it's bad.

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

4. Network

5. Any Star Wars Movie

You deserve death.

 

My choices:

 

Batman and Robin

Glen or Glenda

Plan 9

Pootie Tang

Shallow Hal

A Knight's Tale (only movie I've rented that I just turned off)

The New Guy

Godzilla (1997)

The Animal

Ninja III: Poseida (an American B-movie dubbed into Spanish. Contains a sexy scene where the heroine, attempting to arouse her boyfriend, pours V8(!!!) down her chest. In another scene, a magical sword floats out of a closet, and you can see the string holding it up. And the boyfriend is very hairy. Very, very hairy.)

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Ninja III: Poseida (an American B-movie dubbed into Spanish. Contains a sexy scene where the heroine, attempting to arouse her boyfriend, pours V8(!!!) down her chest. In another scene, a magical sword floats out of a closet, and you can see the string holding it up. And the boyfriend is very hairy. Very, very hairy.)

I've never seen the movie, but a great bit would be to have the guy refuse her advance because he has to be somewhere. He leaves her, gets into a huge fight with some guy, gets a major ass beatdown, barely wins the fight, then quips to himself "Man, I could have had a V8 today." That's gold!

[Guest Nevermortal]

4. Network

5. Any Star Wars Movie

You deserve death.

Network bored me to tears. First movie I couldn't sit through. And I've sat through some stinkers.

 

Star Wars just fucking sucks cock. I can't stand any of them. And the latest movie is an insult to my intelligence. THE FUCKING SAND WAS CGI LUCAS! THE SAND!

[Guest Marshall]

Star Wars just fucking sucks cock. I can't stand any of them. And the latest movie is an insult to my intelligence. THE FUCKING SAND WAS CGI LUCAS! THE SAND!

The new Star Wars movies ARE so bad, they're starting to make me dislike the orginals. That sucks. George Lucas is a dick.

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

Worst movie I ever saw was Dudley Doo Right, with Legally Blonde following right behind it.

[Guest notJames]

I don't understand why the only movies that should be able to be called the worst movies ever are movies with big budgets that ended up sucking. Just because they didn't have a budget we should go easy on them? Big Budget movies can suck (Battlefield Earth) and no budget movies can be awsm (Evil Dead, TCM, Clerks etc). If the movie is bad, it's bad.

There is a totally unscientific method to which I arrive at my opinion of film suckitude. If the hype of a movie is disproportionate to the quality of the final output, then the level of suck rates higher. For example, a movie like Battlefield Earth will be featured in radio, print and TV ads ad nauseum. The actual movie is a bomb. So, because the anticipation bred from overhyping did not pay off with an enjoyable viewing experience, the suck quotient is high. On the other hand, a limited release film like Happiness or Sling Blade that features quality actors and an interesting story that doesn't rely on special effects and car chases will garner much more praise proportionately because there was no superhype to be let down from.

 

There are of course exceptions when it involves big-budget movies that feature something I'm very interested in, like the recent influx of Marvel Comics adaptations and the LOTR series. Likewise, there are some indie films that I took a chance on that didn't necessarily live up to expectations, like The Good Girl. And of course, there are the really low-budget films that I wouldn't dare come anywhere near, especially the b-level direct-to-video tripe they dole out at rental places.

 

But when you've lived on an ample diet of both types of films for 30 years, you can immediately weed out stuff that you know will not appeal to you; in my case, generic crime thrillers, teen comedies, low-brow comedies, anything starring Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, or J-Lo, etc. Does that make me close-minded? Probably.

 

Of course, not everyone… hardly anyone adheres to such strict criteria. But I take my hard-earned dollars seriously, so I want… nay, demand a quality film-viewing experience every time I lay down the ducats. It's a cross to bear, I know, being so anal about something that is essentially a diversion from real life… c'est la vie.

[Guest NCJ]

I love 80's karate movies and have seen a multitude of them. I watch American Ninja 1-4 everytime they come on, but we all know the American Ninja series has some of the worst acting, crappy special effects, and absolute worst swords of any movie.

 

Joe aka Michael Dudikoff makes those movies watchable, why I watch the third is beyond me, but the brother in those movies is absolutely terrible. When he gets the number from the cute chick in two "Yeesss" damn I cried for five minutes straight.

[Guest Lightning Flik]

Legally Blonde following right behind it.

Be afraid. Legally Blonde 2 is coming out. Fear it.

 

 

Probably my worst movies would be the following, and I say my worst cause it's not what everyone else picks:

 

5. Batman Forever - Take two very great evil villians in the comix series and hack them into near clones of the Batman TV series counterparts (and the TV series villians were better), followed by sprinkling a love interest for no fucking reason, then dash with a retard choice for sidekick, and finally make the movie as "bright gloomy" as possible.

 

4. Jurassic Park 3 - Excuse me, can we say "no storyline, just ad-lib?" I actually can't believe I convinced myself that because I worked at Blockbuster, I HAD to see every single film we rent out... ARGH! I want that time of my life back.

 

3. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within - Another trivial sci-fi movie that has it's plot and storyline run by me so God damn fast, I go "What?". Seriously, I love the CGI and that, but for Squaresoft to bring out that tripe is a FUCKING INSULT. ...why bring out such a movie if you are going to LET IT BOMB~!

 

2. Ninth Gate - Is there a point to this movie? I mean, I know the main character NEEDS to find the Ninth Gate, but other than that, there really isn't ANYTHING to this movie. I never got the point of the movie, the storyline, or the fucking ending either. UGH~! WORST MOVIE~!

 

1. Digimon: The Movie - Yup. I used to watch the Digimon series as I had liked it at the time. The series was kinda neat, I liked it, and thought it was decent. You can BITE me as I hadn't learnt about better anime back then. Anyways, can I please ask WHY this was created? In Japan, this movie was actually six seperate episodes were each half an hour, but yet we get this movie which hacks and fucking slashes these to bits so that these six episodes can be squashed together to make a movie. FUCK, I enjoyed Pokemon: The Movie enough to keep it out of this section.

 

Yes, I have a kiddy movie as my top listing. However, it probably IS the worst movie out there. And besides, since it WAS treated like a movie, thusly it gets treated LIKE one.

[Guest WukenBloodstar]

1. Evil Dead (*Ducks*)

2. Star Wars Ep 1

3. Crow: City Of Angels(That is the name of the second one right?

4. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (Sadly..I know somebody who thinks this is one of the best movies ever)

5. Godzilla (97)

6. The Animal

7. Shallow Hal (Or for that matter..anything with Jack Black)

8. Eight Legged Freaks

9. Ready To Rumble

10. The Fast and The Furious (As a loyal DSM Owner..this movie insulted me.)

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

I like all Star Wars....even the Prequels.

 

Anyways here are movies I hated based on various reasons. Including overhype, high expectations, and just pure hatred for subject matter(Fast&Furious i'm looking at you). These are MY top 10 worst movies to ME.(in no paticular order)

 

10) Final Fantasy: Spirits Within: Man FF could've been so much cooler. It didn't even feel like a FF game....it felt like overrated Sci-Fi garbage.

 

9) Fast and the Furious: I mean it was alright.....except for the stupid cars.

 

8) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: I loved Turtles 1&2 so much. But this was a piece of garbage. Where's the dark Turtle movie based off of the comics anyways? 1 was the closest to that.

 

7) Jurassic Park 3: Pure crap. It was all "run from dinosaurs for 2 hours with no plot!"

 

6) Alien Resurrection: Well my hatred for Winona Ryder may make me dislike this more. But I mean seriously, this movie sucked. The plot was equally as stupid as the Alien hybrid at the end. The thing had tits for god's sake!

 

5) Biker Boyz: I mean come on! It was FF with motorcycles. And the acting was atrocious.

 

4) The Matrix: What's the big deal with this movie? It was crappy and took itself way to seriously to accomplish what it was trying.

 

3) The Mummy Returns: What did I just watch? I think I lost 2 hours of my life.

 

2) The Cable Guy: I expected so much after the Ace Ventura movies. But this movie wasn't funny at all. Plus I dislike Matthew Broderick greatly.

 

1) Godzilla: This wasn't Godzilla! This was generic giant lizard! I mean what a slap in the face! An insult!

[Guest Nevermortal]

2) The Cable Guy: I expected so much after the Ace Ventura movies. But this movie wasn't funny at all. Plus I dislike Matthew Broderick greatly.

Not funny at all? Do you have a soul?