worst 10 movies ever

[Guest Marshall]

Cable Guy is awesomeness.

 

I used to have a 'cable guy'....

[Guest hardyz1]

I have to say my least favorite movie ever is The Sound of Music. I had to watch it in fifth grade music class and it was endless torture.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

1. Jurassic Park II: The Lost World

2. Junior

3. Honey! I Blew Up the Kid

4. Network

5. Any Star Wars Movie

6. Mafia!

7. Wrongfully Accused

8. Steel

9. Double Dragon

10. Dracula, Dead and Loving It

Do I have a soul? Do you!? You hate Star Wars for gods sake!

And Mafia!? That movie is hilarious! And Leslie Nielson is funny as hell and you've listed 2 of his movies.

If I have no soul why then you are the demon prince of the underdark.

[Guest godthedog]

2) The Cable Guy: I expected so much after the Ace Ventura movies. But this movie wasn't funny at all. Plus I dislike Matthew Broderick greatly.

Not funny at all? Do you have a soul?

you found the cable guy funny...

 

Diana: Hi, Diana Christensen. A racist lackey of the imperialist ruling circles.

Laureen Hobbs: Laureen Hobbs. Badass commie nigger.

and you didn't find THAT funny?

[Guest Mindless_Aggression]

Well I'm not gonna do a top 10 list, but let me just say that everyone who made Star Wars as big as it is today can go to hell, die, be brought back through resurrection, yakuza kicked and then killed again.

[Gert T 0]

Two movies that pissed me off I paid $ 1.75 for:

 

Double Team- Not expecting much with JCVD and Rodzilla, but it further exceeded its shitty expectations.

 

Mars Attacks!- I understand that its was a B-movie style film, but I thought it really sucked.

 

And the one I was embarassed that I spent an hour and a half of my free time: What's the Worst That Can Happen?

 

I didn't pay anything for this movie, but when you have to try to force yourself to laugh at the movie, and there was not even ONE scene, that's a shitty movie.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

Santa With Muscles. I was THE only one in the theater. No lie. Just me.

 

 

Manos The Hands Of Fate is a big stinker too.

[Guest SweetNSexyDiva]

Waterworld (Waste of the millions it cost to make)

The Pledge (Not one of Jack Nicholson's best)

Glitter (Mariah, stick to singing)

Cool as Ice (Ugh, Vanilla Ice)

Grease 2 (I love Pfeifer, but please!)

The Glass House (Leelee Sobieski...enough said)

Jackass (I just don't see how maiming yourself is so funny)

Freddy Got Fingered (Sigh... Tom Green)

Blair Witch 2 (Okay, so it was good when you thought it was a real documentary the first time around.... was there really a need for a second?)

Killer Clowns for Outer Space (Remember this one?... Definitely not Pennywise)

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

As always, I am here to correct the people who put good movies in the monthly bad movie thread.

 

Moulin Rouge

Signs

Sixth Sense

O Brother

Mars Attacks

Killer Klowns

 

 

These are all good to great movies, especially Mars Attacks which is fucking awesome. Agree or Die.

 

 

And of course, no one has mentioned the FUCKING WORST MOVIE EVER, Bless the Child. AWFUL.

[Guest Michael Joel Benoit]

I LOVE bad movies. Thank Mystery Science Theater 3000 for that.

 

There's just one question I've always wanted to ask: How exactly is "Plan 9 From Outer Space" a horrible movie? I've never seen it, but I am always hearing how wretched it is and how it is considered the worst movie of all time. How is it bad? What makes it the worst movie of all time? Let me know....so that I can order it.

 

My top 10 list is:

10. Devil Fish

09. No Holds Barred

08. Prince of Space

07. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

06. The Hollywood Backlot Murders

05. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders

04. The Incredible Hulk Returns

03. Glitter

02. Kazaam

01. Invasion of the Neptune Men

[Guest spiny norman]

How can anyone honestly consider Sound Of Music to be the worst movie ever? You're mad! How do you solve a problem like hardyz1?

 

Anyway, I can only name three movies I truly absolutely loathed:

 

3. Spaceballs: I know people here love it, but I have never sat through a movie and just be so bored out of my brain. I think I chuckled once or twice, thus it is saved from being #1 on my list.

 

2. Saving Private Ryan: I never understood the big deal about this movie. Someone in this thread mentioned Titanic as exploitive of so many people's deaths. This movie disgusted me like no other. It glorified the war for the sake of "God Bless America!" and then tried to cover itself up with things like "This is what war is really like!" etc. Yeah, war had good Americans and evil Germans, and is all action and everyone has no personality aside from common stereotypes which remain unchanged throughout the time.

 

1. Chicken Park: Just crap.

[Guest Youth N Asia]

The thread is about WORST MOVIE EVER! Even if you don't like a movie like Star Wars and Saving Private Ryan I don't think it should make your lists. Cause even if you don't like it you should be able to at least see wht others do, thus not making it the worst of all time.

 

But now Wing Commander...that's unwatachble crap.

[Crimson Platypus 0]

I'm surprised no one mentioned The Mummy. Plenty of nods for the second one, but I walked out of the Mummy twice. Twice. We went across the hall to see Life (Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence). Life sucked, so we went back to Mummy. God that movie was awful.

 

Five worst:

5. Anything with Robin Williams.

4. Anything with Whoopie Goldberg.

3. Star Wars Episode 1.

2. Romancing the Stone.

1. The Mummy.

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

There's just one question I've always wanted to ask: How exactly is "Plan 9 From Outer Space" a horrible movie? I've never seen it, but I am always hearing how wretched it is and how it is considered the worst movie of all time. How is it bad? What makes it the worst movie of all time? Let me know....so that I can order it.

Plan 9 From Outer Space is the opus of Ed Wood, who's considered the worst director ever and both have earned their titles on legend more than anything else. If you've seen other Ed Wood films, this isn't much of a step down. Elements that make it bad is pretty much the types of things you saw in the movie "Ed Wood" during their making of it. Props falling over, Tor Johnson having to carry the dialogue, Lugosi dying and them using a guy walking around with a cape over his face to cover it. There's one scene where they're outside and you see this patio furniture, then they walk inside and it's the same furniture.

 

 

And thanks to Smell the Rating for reminding me that Moulin Rouge is another movie that I would point to for a reason that God should destroy all of mankind. Youth N Asia says that you should be able to look at a movie you don't like and see why others might like it, or the worth of the film and I agree with that. However, there is no conceivable way I can fathom a rational, intelligent human liking Moulin Rouge. It made my brain bleed when a friend made me sit through it. It was just so retarded, overblown and the musical numbers were not only cliched, trite and flat but totally raping of the genre. I am very sorry for America's children that they think this is what a movie musical is all about, because the movie is the equivalent of Buz Lurhman jacking off on celluloid.

[Guest godthedog]

The thread is about WORST MOVIE EVER! Even if you don't like a movie like Star Wars and Saving Private Ryan I don't think it should make your lists. Cause even if you don't like it you should be able to at least see wht others do, thus not making it the worst of all time.

wake up and smell the napalm, son, we've comandeered the thread and turned it into "most hated movies."

[Guest netslob]

I LOVE bad movies. Thank Mystery Science Theater 3000 for that.

 

you and me both, brutha man...

 

ok here are my personal worst 10 movies ever:

 

1. Manos: the Hands of Fate (ironically, this is one of my favorite MST epsiodes, but would be unwatchable otherwise. EASILY the worst film ever made, i DEFY you to watch it and not agree...so bad even Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank apologized for it.)

 

2. Creeping Terror (another MST alum, top contender for Manos' title. badly written, badly acted, badly dubbed, the stupidest looking monster EVER. need i say more?)

 

3. Killjoy (low budget movie about a black kid killed by a gang who comes back from the dead as an evil clown. fairly recent movie, but so badly acted and written, i had to shut it off before it was over.)

 

4. Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (6 words: what...the...FUCK...were...they...smoking? and, can i have some?)

 

5. Sideshow (from Full Moon productions, the same people who brought you the Puppet Master series, comes this tale about a traveling carnival Freak Show, and their questionable methods on gathering recruits. only decent actor in this flick is the midget, who i believe was also in such great films as "Troll" and "Demonic Toys")

 

6. The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies (another MST movie (alot in this list, wonder why?), the plot of which is more or less explained by the title.)

 

7. Hobgoblins (another MST flick, a horrible "Gremlins" rip-off, just without the lucid plot. plus the crappy '80's punk band didn't help either.)

 

8. Final Sacrifice (quite possibly the worst thing ever to come out of Canada (besides Ed the Sock and Rush), yet ANOTHER MST movie, not soooo badly acted , but rather boring and uneventful, made watchable only by the selfless, tirelss efforts of one Mike Nelson and his robot sidekicks. but, lets face it, how could you NOT love Rowsdower?!?)

 

9. No Holds Barred (the only Hogan movie i watched from beginning to end, a fact i later regretted. more or less a personal ego-fuck for Mr. Bollea (i mean, even the implication that Joan Severence would even TOUCH him, let alone fall in love with him is complete horse shit), made salvagable only by Stan Hansen's cameo ("Teeny Wangers"), and the over-the-top, scenery-chewing goodness of character actor Kurt Fuller as the evil-TV-exec-Ted-Turner-type-guy.)

 

10. Blood Dolls (another Full Moon movie, so ridiculous i wanted my money back from the video store. about some billionaire industrialist who was born with the head about the size of a fist (i'm not making this up) who uses some machine to turn some employees/ business parteners who betrayed him, i'm assuming, into 2-inch high dolls (i am not making this up) who he then sends off the kill others. somehow the story ends with this guy marrying the widow of one of his victims, with the ceremony presided over by this guy's personal all-girl rockband, and his assissant, a regular guy in a business suit...who happens to wear clown-makeup ALL the time, and JUST SO HAPPENS to be a registered Justice of the Peace (I...AM...NOT...MAKING...THIS...UP). please, do yourself a favor...DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE...it is a waste of time and money you will hate yourself for ever seeing...trust me).

Edited June 19, 2003 by netslob

[Guest Youth N Asia]

The Mummy is alright...but the 2nd one just blows ass

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

Heh, I love these threads...

 

I can't comment on worst ever since I have some odd tastes, so I'll just go with my most hated.

 

10) Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within- What a load of ratshit. It LOOKED great, but man, the plot is so fucking lame, though. Like someone else said eariler it didn't even feel like a FF game, just some half-assed, CGI-ed sci-fi shit.

 

9) The Star Wars franchise- Ugh, ugh, UGH! I've seen all 5 for them and only Empire Strikes Back could hold my attention for more than 10 minutes.

 

8) Waterworld- No explanation needed.

 

7) Glitter- Mariah should just go ahead and do porn, at least her acting wouldn't look so bad then.

 

6) Double Dragon- I got lost within 20 minutes and by the time I started to understand, I wanted to stab my eyes with an ice pick.

 

5) Freddy Got Fingered- I will NEVER watch anything involving Tom Green ever again other than Road Trip.

 

4) Kazaam- Oh. My. God. It's even WORSE than Steel.

 

3) The Cable Guy- What a bunch of mindless tripe.

 

2) Moulin Rouge- Whoever wrote this should be strung up and shot.

 

1) Showgirls- Elizabeth Berkley's F-level acting + some creepy old guy raping that black chick so hard that she's bleeding down her leg = FUCKING TERRIBLE.

[Guest netslob]

9) The Star Wars franchise- Ugh, ugh, UGH! I've seen all 5 for them and only Empire Strikes Back could hold my attention for more than 10 minutes.

 

y'know, i'm gonna go ahead and agree with you there...i mean, they weren't BAD, but jesus, the way these fuckin' fanboys go on about it, it gets ridiculous...i mean these movies originally came out in the late '70's, early '80's, the FX were original and captivating for THAT time period, but in terms of plot, they lost me.

 

5) Freddy Got Fingered- I will NEVER watch anything involving Tom Green ever again other than Road Trip.

 

y'know what scene i always think about whenever someone mentions this movie: the one where the little kid (Billy?) is playing catch with his father, and the father throws the ball too hard and hits the kid in the mouth. the kid begins screaming and crying, and the camera zooms into his face, complete with blood dripping from his mouth...really fucking disturbing. hell, it offended even ME, and i don't offend easily.

[Guest Youth N Asia]

1) Showgirls- Elizabeth Berkley's F-level acting + some creepy old guy raping that black chick so hard that she's bleeding down her leg = FUCKING TERRIBLE.

Oh balls...how could I forget that. Dare I say? WORST...MOVIE...EVER

[Guest Sakura]

I like Mortal Kombat Annihilation and Street Fighter the Movie. I think they're really entertaining and I can watch them over and over.

 

SF, in particular is good. Rual Julia is just awesome as M. Bison. He has some of the funniest and most over the top scenes.

[Guest godthedog]

i just want to say that i LOVE 'showgirls'. that's more entertaining than 8 out of 10 "good" movies i've ever seen.

[Guest Kid Kablam]

1) Battlefield Earth ( Do I really have to explain this? The Dutch angles on every frickin shot made me nauseous)

2) The Good Son (A distustingly exploitative movie that really sunk low at points)

3) Raising Caine (Good Lord, is dePalma the biggest Hitchcock Fanboy or what? Drink one shot for every Hitchcock reference, drink two for every Peeping Tom reference

4) Mac n' Me (Wow, just.... wow.)

5) Chud II: Bud the Chud (Found out my Camera Choreography teacher was the DP on this one. I'm GLAD I got a C in that course.)

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

5) Freddy Got Fingered- I will NEVER watch anything involving Tom Green ever again other than Road Trip.

 

y'know what scene i always think about whenever someone mentions this movie: the one where the little kid (Billy?) is playing catch with his father, and the father throws the ball too hard and hits the kid in the mouth. the kid begins screaming and crying, and the camera zooms into his face, complete with blood dripping from his mouth...really fucking disturbing. hell, it offended even ME, and i don't offend easily.

What's worse is that they made it a running gag throughout the entire movie(I think it happened like FIVE TIMES!). And then there's the jerking off bits he did with the horse and the elephant(something that Green should be shot for ALONE not counting all the other crap in the film).

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

I've never seen it.....I guess that's good.

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Netslob, I have to ask you if you've seen the real versions of the movies you've listed or just the MST3K versions? See, I don't think if you've only seen something on MST3K you can truly say that the movie is awful. As true as it might be, you're not seeing the movie in its original format and the guys on there can really influence your opinion. It would be like if I said a movie sucked, but I only saw half of it, or read the novelization or a friend told it to me in detail, or I saw the play or something like that, not the movie's true, original form.

 

Again, I still scoff at what a lot of you term to be worst, bad or hated movies. Except for that Blood Dolls one. That sounds awful, but it sounds like one of those low rent horror movies that goes out of it's way so it will seem notable and gain a cult following. The best bad movies are when they're not even trying.

[Guest netslob]

Netslob, I have to ask you if you've seen the real versions of the movies you've listed or just the MST3K versions? See, I don't think if you've only seen something on MST3K you can truly say that the movie is awful. As true as it might be, you're not seeing the movie in its original format and the guys on there can really influence your opinion. It would be like if I said a movie sucked, but I only saw half of it, or read the novelization or a friend told it to me in detail, or I saw the play or something like that, not the movie's true, original form.

 

in answer to your question, yes, i've only seen the MST versions of these films. but i don't entirely agree, cause let me tell you, i would NEVER watch these movies if it weren't on MST. it's as simple as that...THEY make these movies watchable, in thier original format, were i forced to watch them, would drive me to suicide, especially Manos and Creeping Terror.

 

and as for Blood Dolls, i thought, when i picked it up, it would be like the Puppet Master series, which i rather liked, but was sadly mistaken. and every thing i wrote above ACTUALLY happened in that movie...i'm dead serious. and the thing was, the Blood Dolls themselves were only in the film for about 10 minutes, tops. and it's a 1:20 movie! the main story was the "love" story between the small-headed guy and the widow. the title characters were just thrown in for gratuitious blood splatter.

 

and christ, i just remembered this: it had TWO alternate endings. the first was when the small-headed guy removed his helmet (he wore this big ugly helmet thing to hide his head) for the widow and she freaked out and then she, the all-girl band and the Blood Dolls (in their last scene in the movie, btw) run out of the mansion because it caught on fire or something. then the Clown faced guy pops up in front of the black scene and announces that was just one of two possible ending, and they procede to play the one where the small-headed guy and the widow get married. pretty fucking stupid, no? i doubt even Mike and the 'Bots could've saved this turd.

[The Dames 0]

10) Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within- What a load of ratshit. It LOOKED great, but man, the plot is so fucking lame, though. Like someone else said eariler it didn't even feel like a FF game, just some half-assed, CGI-ed sci-fi shit.

 

1) Showgirls- Elizabeth Berkley's F-level acting + some creepy old guy raping that black chick so hard that she's bleeding down her leg = FUCKING TERRIBLE.

I, too, didn't care for Final Fantasy, but it did look great. Square did the Final Flight of the Osiris on the Animatrix DVD and if they made a movie with those CGI effects having something to do with the Matrix, it would make BUCKETS of money.

 

I must have fallen asleep in Showgirls because I don't remember the rape scene you're talking about at all.

 

Dames

[The Dames 0]

I like Mortal Kombat Annihilation and Street Fighter the Movie. I think they're really entertaining and I can watch them over and over.

You have more balls than I do, Sak.

 

Dames

[Guest Zack Malibu]

I must have fallen asleep in Showgirls because I don't remember the rape scene you're talking about at all.

 

Dames

The one at the end, where the Broadway style dude with the long hair has the black girl held down and raped.