World Wrestling AllStars???

July 12, 2003

Now that I've got some free time on my hands, I've recently downloaded the latest RaveX update for EWR 3.0. Using the WWA Promotion (which comes with a STACKED roster of Marcus Bagwell, Rick Steiner, Lex Luger and Midajah), I signed some of the best (and worst) talent on the free agency list. I also made sure to hire about 85 road agents, because when Midajah is the only one not known for backstage politicking, badmouthing, and general shitheadedness, you need to make sure the rules get enforced.

Presenting now, the World Wrestling AllStars? Players:

Adam Windsor

Altar Boy Matthew

American Kickboxer

Anthony Durante

Ashley Hudson

Barry Windham

Big Vito

Bill Dundee

All American Ass

Crocodile Dupree

Cassidy O'Reilly

Chance Beckett

Chase Stevens

Crystal Carmichael

David Flair

Demolition Ax

Demolition Smash

Eddie Valentine

Eric Angle

Evan Karagias

Ginger

Invader 1

Jake Roberts

Jamie Dundee

Jimmy Yang

Johnny Spade

Josh Lazie

Kaz Hayashi

Koko B Ware

Lash LeRoux

Lodi

Marty Jannetty

Nathan Jones

Necro Butcher

Paul Diamond

Rob Conway

Scott Vick

Shaggy 2 Dope

Sonjay Dutt

Stamp Lickage

Steve Bradley

Sylvain Grenier

The Big Schwag

Violent J

Mind you, gimmicks and names will be changed, but certainly not to protect the innocent. First event will be posted in a few.

Edited July 17, 2003 by Zack Malibu

July 12, 2003

WWA? Global Warfare

August 31, 2003

Your hosts are Dave Meltzer and Doc Marlee. I guarantee that even though I'm paying him to do this, Meltzer rags on the show in the next Observer.

OPENING INTERVIEW (well not really, it's in the place of the dark match):

Nathan Jones heads to the ring, accompanied by manager The Big Schwag, Bill Dundee, Ashley Hudson, and...why is Rene Dupree dressed up like Steve Irwin? Schwag lets us know that for years in wrestling, people made a big deal about the "first black World Champion" or the "Latin Sensations" that brought in the Hispanic market. That's all well and good, but why do you never, ever, hear that kind of hype about Australian athletes? You know why? Because wrestling promoters are RACIST~! against the Aussies. Jones interrupts, and does the one thing he seemingly can't screw up, and that's talk. He says that it's not just about the promoters, it's about the world. Why does Hollywood make Hugh Jackman use an English accent?

Dundee: "Because Wolverine is supposed to be Canadian."

Jones:"If they can make the bloomin' Kingpin black in Daredevil, they can make Wolverine an Aussie!"

Rene Dupree then takes the mic, and offers an explanation as to why he's here. You see, when he got fired from the WWE, he decided to spite them by robbing a storage wharehouse. He was only able to grab one box before Pat Patterson and security came running, and believe you me, Pat Patterson, handcuffs and nightsticks is not a pretty combination. As for what was in the lone box he made off with: Outback Jack's ring attire. So he's hear to make the best of it (since he has experience in lame nationalistic gimmicks) and will hereby be dubbed "Crocodile Dupree".

Dundee:"Shouldn't *I* be the Crocodile?"

Hudson:"You want us to get sued, mate?"

Dundee:"Well then, what's OUR niche, eh?"

The group huddles in the ring, and The Big Schwag gets the mic again.

Schwag:"Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, the Down Underworld...and if you don't likey..."

Jones, Dupree, and Schwag do the nWo style fingerpointing to Dundee and Hudson.

D&H:"KRIKEY!"

OVERALL RATING-57% Everybody's new gimmick (Outback) got a positive response. Yes, I'm running a racist angle using Australians. Who will be the Defender of Good? You'll be surprised. (Notice how I didn't say pleasantly surprised?)

OPENING MATCH, also known as "Only in EWR would this be on a PPV":

Altar Boy Matthew vs Johnny Spade : Altar Boy Matthew strikes Spade. Spade reverses a waistlock. Johnny Spade scores with a back heel kick on Matthew. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Tiger suplex on Matthew, right from out of the Misawa playbook. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Matthew counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Matthew hits a dropkick on Johnny Spade. Super frankensteiner on Spade, who hit hard. There's a two count on the pin. Back heel kick off the second rope, Spade goes down. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Matthew only gets knees on a splash. Matthew takes a hurrancarana from Johnny Spade. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Altar Boy Matthew takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. Altar Boy Matthew has Johnny Spade down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Off the top - Top Rope Leg Drop, forget about it. 1....2...3! Nothing worth seeing here, i'll give a 1\2 star rating because i'm generous.

Those 1/2 star matches really hype hte crowd up, eh? Keith's more generous than this is real life. It's not Ryland's fault, as you can't simulate Keith inhaling Twinkies and reaching that euphoric state where every Benoit match is ***** and Hogan saved 3 kids from a burning apartment, but can still rot in hell.

OVERALL:50 (24, 77)

TAG MATCH OF INTERESTING OCCUPATIONS:

Necro Butcher \ Stamp Lickage vs Hotshots : Bodyslam by Necro. Massive backbreaker, O'Reilly got planted. Early reports indicate that the back was *not* actually broken, so the move's name should actually be backhurter. Cover for a two count. Necro tags out to Stamp Lickage. Stamp \ Necro whip O'Reilly into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Stamp Lickage with a spinning neckbreaker on O'Reilly. Cover for a two count. Stamp Lickage hits some punches. O'Reilly blocks the suplex attempt. Tiger suplex on Stamp, right from out of the Misawa playbook. Tag to Chase Stevens. Stamp takes a flying neckbreaker from Chase Stevens. Flying reverse elbow by Chase Stevens. Stamp Lickage elbows Chase Stevens in the face to break a hammerlock. Tag to Necro Butcher. Massive backbreaker, Chase got planted. Early reports indicate that the back was *not* actually broken, so the move's name should actually be backhurter. Death valley driver by Necro Butcher, Chase Stevens got planted. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Stiff chop lights up Chase. Chase pushes out of a Necro Butcher hold. Super frankensteiner on Necro, who hit hard. Chase Stevens grapples with Necro Butcher, and positions himself so that the referee can't see...and hits a low blow! He rolls up the stunned Necro Butcher: 1....2....3!! What a cheap shot! I'll give it a *1\2 rating.

OK, so Altar Boy and Spade have a rivalry already built in (Altar Boy/Church=Good, Spade=Ace of Spades=Devil=Bad), but the Weirdo Butcher and the Postal Worker get a *1/2 out of the Hotshots?

You know that I don't expect this to be a great show when I'm debating a *1/2 rating as oppose to a 1/2 star rating.

OVERALL:58 (34, 82)-Butcher's gimmick (Weirdo) and Stamp's gimmick (Teen Idol...KIDDING...postal worker) got a positive response).

Backstage, we go to Billy Gunn~! Sssh, don't call him that. See, he wasn't as lucky as Dupree when he was fired. Why, what outfit did he wind up with, Berzerker's? No no no, that spiteful bastard Vince retained the rights to all of his gimmicks. Look for Paul London to debut soon as a Gay Cowboy Exhibitionist who likes to chant Suck It. Anyhow, it's a new start for Gunn, and he's not going to let Nathan Jones or the Down Underworld rag on America. Because from this point on, Billy-you-know-who is dead...say hello to Triple A...the ALL AMERCIAN ASS~! Gunn then turns around and moons the camera, showing the red white and blue proudly displayed on his posterior created via magic marker and White Out.

OVERALL:73%-Gunn's Pro-USA gimmick got a positive response.

Yep, Billy Gunn vs. Nathan Jones is my top feud. See why I didn't expect you to be pleasantly surprised?

Elsewhere backstage, the Insane Clown Posse walk into their dressing room, and find two old geezers in S&M gear using their facepaint.

Violent J:"Yo, Shaggy holmes, I ain't into this kinky shit man. Juggalo's got his limits and shit!"

Shaggy 2 Dope:"Fuck that Screwby-Doo. Yo, what are you bitches doin' with our shit? That's Juggalo Paint, and you Juggalo Ain't!"

The two geezers turn around to reveal AX AND SMASH of Demolition!

No, seriously. It's Bill Eadie and Barry Darsow. Alzheimer's is kicking in. They tell the Powers of Pain to meet them in the ring, and bring some friends with them.

Shaggy:"Powers of Pain? Shit, bitch, we the Powers of Paint. JUGGALO~!"

OVERALL:50%-Demolition gained overness. A stale part-comedy rap act vs. a team that broke up over 10 years ago, and someone is STILL getting over? I'm good.

NO, THIS ISN'T AN OLD SURVIVOR SERIES TAPE, JUST A BAD ACID FLASHBACK:

Demolition, Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Rick Steiner vs. Insane Clown Posse, Koko B Ware and Marty Jannetty

Violent J recieves some punishment. Big clothesline on Violent J. Tag to Demolition Ax. Chanelling the spirit of Misawa, Demolition Ax uses a forearm to the face. Tag to Koko B. Ware. Ax hits a right hand. Ax tags out to Jake Roberts. Ax \ Roberts hook up Koko, then hit a double suplex. Powerslam from Jake Roberts on Koko. Cover for a two count. Tag between Jake Roberts and Rick Steiner. Big backdrop on Koko, executed well. Spear by Rick Steiner. Tag between Rick Steiner and Smash. Massive lariat, apparently Smash has been watching The Best Of Stan Hansen again. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Smash walks into a trip. Koko tags out to Marty Jannetty. Jannetty hits a spinning back kick. Marty Jannetty uses a running dropkick into the corner. Cover for a two count. Tag between Marty Jannetty and Shaggy 2 Dope. Jannetty \ 2 Dope whip Smash into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Cover for a two count. Shaggy 2 Dope blasts Ax with a rather-less-than-super kick. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. 2 Dope walks into a trip. Demolition Ax with a spinning neckbreaker on 2 Dope. Tag between Demolition Ax and Rick Steiner. Nice piledriver on 2 Dope. Steiner walks into a trip. 2 Dope tags out to Marty Jannetty. 2 Dope \ Jannetty whip Steiner into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Marty Jannetty with an enziguri, although the late Owen Hart's version was far superior. Rick Steiner can barely stand. Rocker Dropper!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Almost a ** match, but not quite - *1\2 rating.

(On one team you had the Alzheimer's impaired former World Tag Team Champions, the crack fiend with Freudian phallic issues (he plays with a snake for Pete's sake, don't tell me he doesn't), and the lower half of another formerly great team. One the other side, you have Killer Rapper Clowns who aren't from Outer Space, another animal lover, and another crack fiend. You can also make issues about Rick Steiner's love for hunting vs. Koko's being a birdlover, you've got the feud over facepaint, and Roberts owes Jannetty a line or three. There is so much I can do with these guys.)

OVERALL:56 (48, 65)-Jake's psycho gimmick (GIMMICK?), Koko's old school face gimmick both got positive responses.

IT'S GOT ANGLE, FLAIR AND WINDHAM, SO IT HAS TO BE ****, RIGHT?

Barry Windham/Rob Conway vs. David Flair/Eric Angle

Bodyslam on Conway by D.Flair. Big clothesline from D.Flair. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between David Flair and Eric Angle. Eric \ D.Flair whip Conway into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Gut buster, Conway hits hard. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rob Conway walks into a stiff lariat clothesline from Eric. Conway counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Wicked suplex out of the corner from Rob Conway, executed well. Tag to Barry Windham. Barry Windham strikes Eric Angle. Weak bodyslam by Windham. Eric pushes out of a Barry Windham hold. Tag to David Flair. David Flair hits a sloppy double axe handle. David Flair scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg for a close fall. David Flair hits Windham. Barry Windham elbows David Flair in the face to break a hammerlock. Barry Windham hits a sloppy double axe handle. Barry Windham moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Lariat. 1....2...3, it's finished. I'll give it a *1\2 rating.

I guess I should have mentioned WHICH Flair and Angle it was. Windham hasn't been the same since 1993...don't even get him started on the Stalker or Blackjack gimmicks. Conway's the real loser, as he signed up for this hoping for some of that "workrate through osmosis" that the WWE tries with A-Train. Great, now he can swing a crowbar with the best of them!

OVERALL:60 (54, 66)

Jake Roberts wanders into Marty Jannetty's dressing room. Weren't they just on rival teams? Yeah, but Marty's got some of the best shit around.

OVERALL:74

THE MATCH YOU'VE WAITED ALL NIGHT TO SEE (that way you could go to the bathroom):

All American Ass vs Nathan Jones : Triple A bodyslams Nathan Jones. Nathan Jones elbows All American Ass in the face to break a hammerlock. Triple A takes a headbutt from Nathan Jones. Nathan J whips Triple A into the turnbuckles...and predictably, the referee gets sandwiched. Nathan Jones scores with a standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. All American Ass fights out of a grapple. Bodyslam by Triple A. Nice piledriver on Nathan J. Cover for a two count. Death valley driver by All American Ass, Nathan Jones is down and hurt. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Triple A walks into a trip. Spinebuster by Nathan Jones. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Triple A pushes out of a Nathan Jones hold. All American Ass moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Stars and Stripes Wipe. Crocodile Dupree quickly comes running down the aisle and into the ring! All American Ass turns around....Death Valley Driver!!! That shook the ring. The referee calls for the DQ because of the interference of Croc! Nathan J and Croc beat away on All American Ass, leaving him spread-eagled on the canvas. I'll give it a **1\2 rating.

2 and a half stars? 2 AND A HALF STARS? This is a wrestling first. Billy Gunn and Nathan Jones putting on the MATCH OF THE NIGHT? Hmm, maybe I should get hired as a Smackdown writer. At any rate, the USA vs. Australia feud that was started on The Simpson's years back is off to a good start. As good as anything involving Billy Gunn and Nathan Jones can be, that is.

OVERALL:70 (71, 69)

OVERALL FOR THE EVENT:60

.33 buyrate

4168 People in attendance

$125040 in ticket sales

$1320000 in merchandise

One thing I would like to note-my dumb ass started this game without getting any sponsors, therefore my risk level is stuck at 50% for now, and I was STILL only able to get 3 people interested in the product. I also forgot to let Steiner, Luger, Buff and Midajah go at the end of the month, so I bled a little bit, having lost nearly a million dollars. Still, I got a TV Deal with Comcast for 12 weeks, and hopefully to make use of most of these guys. And c'mon, you think I'd let myself go bankrupt before blowing off the epic Gunn/Jones feud? Perish the thought.

Happy birthday this month to Lodi (31), Jake Roberts (45), Sylvain Grenier (27), and Koko B Ware (39).

Back soon with the debut of the WWA TV Show! Feedback, criticism, suggestions, let me know what you guys think!

Edited July 12, 2003 by Zack Malibu

July 12, 2003

Whoa.

This diary rocks both s0x AND b0x0rs!

Push Stamp Lickage

July 12, 2003

Back again, this time with the first edition of WWA? TV. The executives of the promotion wanted a hip, edgy name. After much deliberation about how similar they could get to RAW or Smackdown without infringing on copyrights, they've come up with what will forever be known as:

WWA? SMACK IT RAW~!

Live on Tuesday Nights

Your hosts are Dave Meltzer and Doc "My first name is not Bob" Marlee

OPENING SEGMENT:Ted DiBiase comes out in a white suit (not the swank alternate Million Dollar Man tux, but one of those born-again preacher suits) to announce that he has been appointed the troubleshooting commisioner of the WWA?. With a promotion that has Australians as a racial stereotype, David Flair in main event matches and 2 crack addicts attempting to "go into business for themselves" during the show, you know SOMEONE is shooting for trouble here. Anyhow, he's also here to announce brackets for the ALL STAR TITLE tournament, and the ALL STAR TAG TEAM TITLES tournament:

All Star Title (Main event title, starts with 75 Value)

All American Ass vs. Crocodile Dupree

Barry Windham vs. David Flair

Nathan Jones vs. Big Vito

Marty Jannetty vs. Lash LeRoux

All Star Tag Team Titles:

Demolition vs. Insane Clown Posse

Necro Butcher/Stamp Lickage vs. Hotshots

Steve Bradley and Lodi vs. Jung Dragons

Bill Dundee and Ashley Hudson vs. JT Smith and Koko B Ware

OVERALL:88%-I felt that Ted has spent enough time shilling his beliefs on the Christian Cable Network or whatever 700 Club spinoffs they're running today. This also bodes well for Altar Boy Matthew, who will no doubt get a push from Ted with a name like that. Remember kids, religious beliefs help you get elevated. Having heard that, the WWE locker room has started a prayer group. One guess which guy on the RAW roster isn't invited.

Before we can get to our first match, Crocodile Dupree enters the arena, to the sounds of "I Come From A Land Down Under" by Men At Work, just to drive the point home that he's an EVIL AUSTRALIAN~! now. Not like the Outback Jack outfit and the fact that he's in a stable of them didn't do it enough. It's only a matter of time before he tossing boomerangs at the crowd. At any rate, Dupree wants the fans to show respect for Australia, which gets him a unanymous "Thumbs Down". "That's good people, you know where it is...now salute it!" Before anything of note can happen, ALL AMERICAN ASS~! storms the ring and drives Dupree off. These two will meet in a First Round match for the All Star Title later tonight!

OVERALL:74%

How on Earth I got the idea to book Evil Australians against a Pro USA Ass Exposer is beyond me, but it's ratings GOLD I tell you. Putting on the match of the night at the first PPV pretty much sealed the deal for the Gunn/Down Underworld pushes.

WHAT'S THIS, A MATCH?

Necro \ Stamp vs Hotshots : Necro Butcher fires off some right and left hands. Bodyslam by Necro. Cover for a two count. Tag between Necro Butcher and Stamp Lickage. Necro \ Stamp whip Chase into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Big backdrop on Chase, executed well. Chase Stevens pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Stamp takes a hurrancarana from Chase Stevens. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Chase Stevens and Cassidy O'Reilly. Super frankensteiner on Stamp, who hit hard. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Hard back suplex on Stamp. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? O'Reilly walks into a trip. Rude Awakening on Cassidy O'Reilly by Stamp. Tag to Necro Butcher. Necro Butcher fires off some right and left hands. Tag between Cassidy O'Reilly and Chase Stevens. Necro Butcher with a spinning neckbreaker on Chase. Chase Stevens gets knocked to the ground by Necro. Chase Stevens gets locked in the Asiatic Spike! Submission victory! It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

OVERALL:59 (35, 84). DiBiase put these two teams against each other first round due to the dirty tactics that the Hotshots used at the PPV. After the match, Necro vows to "chop off Chase Stevens arm and send it to his mother" while Stamp chimes in with "Express Mail, of course."

THE GOD PUSH BEGINS, NO PUN INTENDED:

Altar Boy Matthew vs Chance Beckett vs Evan Karagias vs Sylvain Grenier : Standing leg lariat by Altar Boy Matthew on Beckett. Altar Boy Matthew hits a rolling kick on Beckett. There's a two count on the pin. Beckett reverses a Altar Boy Matthew hammerlock. Beckett tags out to Evan Karagias. Driven DDT by Evan Karagias. The ring shook violently, instantly making it better at selling than some of the current roster. We have our mandatory ref bump, as he goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Diamond Dust from Evan Karagias, Matthew is out. Cover, but there's no one to count for Evan Karagias. Karagias uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Matthew drops out the back of a Evan Karagias bodyslam attempt. Tag to Sylvain Grenier. Spinebuster by Sylvain Grenier. Sylvain Grenier with a spinning neckbreaker on Karagias. Evan Karagias powers out of a Sylvain Grenier headlock. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Tiger suplex on Grenier, right from out of the Misawa playbook. Pin : 1 - 2- 3. Karagias defeats Grenier. Chance Beckett strikes Karagias. Second rope flying axe handle, Karagias goes down. There's a two count on the pin. Flying reverse elbow by Chance Beckett. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Chance Beckett misses a clothesline. Beckett walks into a face crusher variation. Tag to Altar Boy Matthew. Tiger suplex on Beckett, right from out of the Misawa playbook. Pin, three count, it's over. Altar Boy Matthew pins Beckett. Kick from Altar Boy Matthew to the leg. Karagias reverses a Altar Boy Matthew hammerlock. Matthew takes a hurrancarana from Evan Karagias. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Altar Boy Matthew avoids a Evan Karagias avalanche. Altar Boy Matthew hits a rolling kick on Karagias. Evan Karagias gets knocked to the ground by Matthew, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Top Rope Leg Drop!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

OVERALL:57 (41, 74) Chance Beckett debuted his Blue Chipper gimmick, it got a positive response.

I seem to be on a *1/2 streak with my roster. Which makes Gunn and Jones the workrate kings of the WWA?. I feel like I'm in some parrallel universe where Reno Riggins is a 3 Time World Champion and Kurt Angle collects urine samples (though Marty and Jake swapped theirs with some apple juice).

Speaking of urnine samples, Nathan Jones is pissed that All American Ass disrespected his stablemate. You can't do that to an Aussie. Well he didn't, he did it to Rene Dupree, but you get the picture. Jones vows revenge at some point.

OVERALL:76

WE'VE GOT MAKEUP, BUT WE WON'T MAKE UP:

Demolition vs Insane Clown Posse : Stiff chop lights up Violent J. Big clothesline on Violent J. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Demolition Ax and Smash. Demolition hook up Violent J, then hit a double suplex. There's a two count on the pin. Smash slams Violent J down. Smash drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Violent J hits a sloppy double axe handle. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Shaggy 2 Dope. Badly executed second rope splash by 2 Dope. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Face crusher from 2 Dope on Smash. Shaggy 2 Dope misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Back elbow connects, 2 Dope staggers backward. Smash tags out to Demolition Ax. Demolition Ax hits some punches. 2 Dope tags out to Violent J. Rude Awakening on Violent J by Ax. Demolition Ax moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Powerslam. 1....2...3, it's finished. Demolition rush forward to attack! Insane Clown Posse get caught by surprise and brutally beaten down to the canvas. This one gets * rating and likes it.

OVERALL:55 (46, 65)

The post match attack shouldn't count as a beatdown. The Demo's heard the bell and thought they were starting another match. S&M Alzheimer's victims and the rapping clowns who hate them sounds like a good episode of Springer, but you can only see it here in the WWA?!

Backstage, Jake Roberts offers to watch Marty Jannetty's back. Actually, he's quite pissed that the "line" he gave him the other night was just crushed up Rolaids. His stomach feels great though, so all is forgiven.

OVERALL:68

CAJUNS AND CRACK FIENDS:

Marty Jannetty vs Lash LeRoux : Jannetty snapmares Lash LeRoux. Jannetty drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Dropkick connects, Jannetty goes down. Lash LeRoux misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee by mistake. Diamond Dust from Lash LeRoux, Jannetty is out. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out. Jannetty blocks the suplex attempt. LeRoux takes a chop from Jannetty. Marty Jannetty hits a crap missile dropkick on LeRoux. Hooks the leg for a two count. Marty Jannetty with an enziguri. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Lash LeRoux powers out of a Marty Jannetty headlock. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Jannetty is down. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Jannetty drops out the back of a Lash LeRoux bodyslam attempt. Lash turns around the same time Marty is coming at him...Double Clothesline! Both men are down! The bell rings. The referee declares that the time limit has expired, and the match is a draw. I'm going to give this a ** rating because i'm in a generous mood.

OK, so I improv'd on the finish a bit. Lash was legit knocked cold, but Jannetty was going through withdrawal. He hadn't had a hit in half an hour. This wasn't like the AWA days where Scott Hall hid under the ring and doled out free samples during the Midnight Rockers/Rose and Somers classics. Jake Roberts comes in and puts a joint in Jannetty's mouth. You can't do that on TV! Well, it's medicinal marijuana...at least for them.

OVERALL:62 (62, 63)

PLEASE DON'T LET THIS ONE GO AS LONG AS THE OTHER FLAIR/WINDHAM MATCHES:

Barry Windham vs David Flair : Barry Windham with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on D.Flair. Barry Windham DDTs D.Flair, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. There's a two count on the pin. D.Flair blocks a kick from Barry Windham. Lame kick from D.Flair. D.Flair slams Barry Windham down. Big John Studd would be proud, no doubt. Cover for a two count. D.Flair DDTs Barry Windham. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Windham gets squashed in the corner with a clothesline. Barry Windham elbows David Flair in the face to break a hammerlock. Barry Windham DDTs D.Flair, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. There's a two count on the pin. Flapjack from Windham on D.Flair. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Barry Windham strikes David Flair. Barry Windham strikes David Flair. D.Flair blocks the suplex attempt. David Flair hits a right hand on Barry Windham. David Flair turns Windham inside-out with a clothesline. Barry Windham grabs David Flair from behind and shoves him into the ropes, then scores with a roll-up...but D.Flair rolls through with the move! He is using the tights for leverage! 1....2...3! The referee didn't see it! I'll give it a *1\2 rating.

The *1/2 streak continues on, with the evil Flair getting one over on the hosserific hasbeen. God Bless EWR though, because in real life today all this match would have been were lariats, sloppy chops, a superplex and a bastardized figure four. The *1/2 rating is generous in this case.

OVERALL:58 (59, 58)

All American Ass is in the back...HAHAHA I GET IT! ASS, in the BACK...haha, hoho, hehe...I kill me. Anyways, Triple A hypes his match with Crocodile Dupree, which is NEXT!

OVERALL:71

MAIN EVENT TO FURTHER THE MAIN ANGLE:

All American Ass vs Crocodile Dupree : Croc gets slammed. Crocodile Dupree elbows All American Ass in the face to break a hammerlock. Triple A receives some punishment. Croc whips Triple A into the turnbuckles...and predictably, the referee gets sandwiched. Crocodile Dupree scores with a standing spinebuster. Cover, but there's no one to count for Crocodile Dupree. All American Ass powers out of a Crocodile Dupree headlock. All American Ass with a spinning neckbreaker on Croc. Full nelson slam on Croc. There's a two count on the pin. Spear! Croc is down and hurt. Pin, but Croc is out just before the three count. Croc pushes out of a All American Ass hold. Croc hits a stump piledriver on All American Ass. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Triple A ducks a wild right hand. All American Ass moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Stars and Stripes Wipe. 1....2...3, it's finished. **1\2 rating for a decent contest.

2 events in, and the former Billy Gunn has made Nathan Jones and Rene Dupree look passable. When he hits four stars with Erik Watts, it's officially the sign of the apocalypse. Triple A advances on, and faces David Flair next week in the semi-finals!

OVERALL:67 (63, 71)

OVERALL RATING FOR SMACK IT RAW:65%

.47 Rating

464 people

$13920 in ticket sales

I got an email that Crocodile Dupree wants to be higher up the card. Considering he was in the main event, I suppose that means he wants to host the afterparty?

Comcast was unhappy with my production values, so I upped them to 55%.

PI is up to 83 from the original 75.

Keep feedback and suggestions coming~!

July 12, 2003

Jones:"If they can make the bloomin' Kingpin black in Daredevil, they can make Wolverine an Aussie!"

Ironically, there was a one-shot X-Men cartoon back in the 80s where Wolverine DID sound like an Aussie.

rising up out of the back seat-nuh · July 13, 2003

Turn Jung Dragons Australian, and put the team of Luger and Eric Angle with Triple A and have a Dragons/Luger&Angle feud for the tag belts.

RATINGS GOLD, I tells ya!

July 13, 2003

Don't get on me for any negative comments. Zack asked me to give some critiques and suggestions. Overall, I say boo on Zack, because this makes me get off my ass and post a new HSW show. Hopefully I'll have one up tomorrow. (Yeah, right.)

The Outback Underwold is genius. I loved how you use everybody and it's just a smart concept. You should have Dundee feud with Terry Funk over a pair of dentures. Use them as much as possible.

The gimmick with Gunn doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Vince supposedly kept all his gimmicks, including the Mr. Ass one, but he's basically doing a cross between Mr. America and Mr. Ass. Also, having used Billy in other EWR's I'd give him a manager, preferrably a hot bitch.

I can't believe Bill Eadie is in the update, he has to be like damn near 60. And Demolition thinking the ICP are the Powers of Pain is like my gimmick of the Midnight Express being lost in the '80's and thinking everybody is the Rock 'n Roll express.

I say build a secondary stable around Flair and Angle comprised of relatives and namesakes of better wrestlers. You could even bring Kendall in to feud with Barry. I had Flair and Angle as a tag team called the "Famous Ones" in a WWF game I was playing awhile back, where their gimmick was that they were the real talent in the family and their relatives were trashing their good names.

Dupree should have little poems on the boomerangs that he reads, like Lanny Poffo used to do with the frisbees, and then he throws them to the crowd, but they come back. Which is how he likes it, because he doesn't want the crowd having his poems.

Interested to see what you do Dibiase, I think his character has a lot of potential and I would try to maybe have him sort of quasi-feud with someone. Maybe a secondary authority or manager.

I'd put a manager with Matthew, having had the Alter Boys in XPW, they put on good matches but have no charisma.

After awhile, have Roberts and Jannetty want to expand their empire into prostitution and they hook up with the Godfather.

"Jones vows revenge at some point." That's made me laugh for some reason. "I'm going to kick your ass Ass...at some later random point in time. Not now, but soon...well maybe not soon, but EVENTUALLY!"

Good first couple of efforts, with some key ideas in place. Make sure to give some gimmicks and personalities to the jobbers too as that helps to make a lot of the matches more interesting and gives you more to talk about post match.

July 13, 2003

I say build a secondary stable around Flair and Angle comprised of relatives and namesakes of better wrestlers. You could even bring Kendall in to feud with Barry. I had Flair and Angle as a tag team called the "Famous Ones" in a WWF game I was playing awhile back, where their gimmick was that they were the real talent in the family and their relatives were trashing their good names.

Everyone does that

I had

-Terry Ray Gordy

-Eric Angle

-Erik Watts

-Horace Hogan

-David Flair

-Etc, etc

Of course, i had Mideon and Viscera as Tag Champs for nine months, what do i know

(Dennis Knight + Nelson Knight, The Dark Knights)

July 14, 2003

WWA? Smack It Raw

OPENING MATCH OF PUSH CONTINUANCE GOODNESS:

Altar Boy Matthew vs Scott Vick vs Johnny Spade : Spade hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Spade hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Matthew counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Matthew hits a dropkick on Johnny Spade. Spear by Scott Vick. Pin, but Matthew is out just before the three count. Johnny Spade hits a rolling kick on Vick. Vick counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Matthew \ Vick whip Spade into the corner. Altar Boy Matthew whips Scott Vick in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Diamond Dust from Altar Boy Matthew, Spade is out. Pin, three count, it's over. Altar Boy Matthew pins Spade. Flying cross body off the top rope! I'll give a 0.8 on the Steamboat scale for that effort. Altar Boy Matthew gets taken down out of nowhere. Powerbomb on Matthew. Cover for a two count. Matthew counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Lightning kick by Matthew on Vick. Scott Vick gets knocked to the ground by Matthew, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Off the top - Top Rope Leg Drop, forget about it. 1....2...3! Almost a ** match, but not quite - *1\2 rating.

Ah, the dreaded star and a half rating. I suppose that's good for an Altar Boy, Sick Boy and a lingering WWE developmental talent. They linger for a reason, you know. At any rate, Matthew goes over as expected, no doubt setting up Australia vs. The Church at a future PPV.

OVERALL:56 (35, 77)

Backstage, Ted DiBiase bumps into Matthew as he comes through the curtain. Ted is impressed with his devotion to religion, and oh yeah, that workrate stuff is impressive too. Ted has an idea to spice things up, and her name is Sister Crystal (Crystal Carmichael in the game, female with 80 charisma). Matthew blushes, having taken a vow of chastity. Actually, what he means is that he's still a virgin. DiBiase goes off to contemplate how someone with an Altar Boy gimmick formerly of the XPW roster went unfucked in life.

OVERALL:59, Matthew gains overness. There was no "Commisioner attempts to get talent laid" option, so I went with "Wrestler watches another's back".

IMPORTANT TOURNAMENT MATCH OF RACIAL HARMONY:

Dundee \ Hudson vs JT Smith \ Koko : Flying elbow from Koko B. Ware. Flying reverse elbow by Koko B. Ware. Cover for a two count. Tag between Koko B. Ware and JT Smith. JT Smith \ Koko whip Hudson into the corner. JT Smith whips Koko B. Ware in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Ashley Hudson takes a butterfly suplex from JT Smith. There's a two count on the pin. JT Smith snap suplexes Hudson. Hudson counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Hudson hits a great swinging DDT on JT Smith. Tag between Ashley Hudson and Bill Dundee. Punch by Dundee, missing JT Smith by a good six inches. Dundee hits a stump piledriver on JT Smith. JT Smith elbows Bill Dundee in the face to break a hammerlock. JT Smith tags out to Koko B. Ware. Koko crushes Dundee with a big legdrop. Power drive elbow by Koko B. Ware. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Koko hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Bill Dundee fights out of a grapple. Bill Dundee hits a sloppy bulldog off the ropes. Bill Dundee grapples with Koko B. Ware, and positions himself so that the referee can't see...and hits a low blow! He rolls up the stunned Koko B. Ware: 1....2....3!! What a cheap shot! Nothing worth seeing here, i'll give a 1\2 star rating because i'm generous.

The Down Underworld steal a victory over a guy famous for his bird and baggy green pants and a black guy who used to act Italian. I went by the wrestling rule of "Two blacks guys on the roster MUST team and/or feud at some point", but I may have an idea for Koko and JT yet.

OVERALL:50 (35, 66) Ashley Hudson gained overness from this segment, as he plucked a feather off Frankie and used the tip to pick his teeth before the match.

In the backstage area, Josh Lazie would like to introduce you to the Jung Dragons, Jimmy Yang and Kaz Hayashi. He says he'd like to, but he won't, because he's Lazie, after all. He lays down on a cot while Yang and Kaz mumble incoherently in Japanese.

OVERALL:57. Josh Lazie and Jimmy Yang gained overness.

WAIT, THIS COULD ACTUALLY BE GOOD TOURNAMENT MATCH:

The Jung Dragons vs Lodi \ Bradley : Kaz uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Flying reverse elbow by Kaz Hayashi. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Kaz Hayashi and Jimmy Yang. The Jung Dragons whip Lodi into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Hard back suplex on Lodi. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? There's a two count on the pin. Stiff high kick on Lodi by Jimmy Yang who has evidently been watching some old AJPW tapes recently. Yang drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Flying knee to the face from Lodi. Is it Mutoh Appreciation Night? Lodi tags out to Steve Bradley. Flying elbow from Steve Bradley. Super frankensteiner on Yang, who hit hard. Yang blocks a punch. Tag to Kaz Hayashi. Super frankensteiner on Bradley, who hit hard. Power drive elbow by Kaz Hayashi. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Kaz Hayashi scores with a back heel kick on Bradley. Bradley blocks a punch. Flying cross body off the top rope! I'll give a 0.8 on the Steamboat scale for that effort. Kaz Hayashi gets knocked to the ground by Bradley, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Through the air, Frog Splash! 1....2....3. **1\2 rating for a decent contest.

Whoa, the pinnacle of WWA match ratings-2 1/2 stars. Now that they've proven they can hang with All American Ass and Nathan Jones, the pushes can commence. Get this one...Steve Bradley debuted his Whole Damn Show gimmick to a negative response, while Lodi's Gay gimmick got a positive reaction? A blatant homosexual getting over as a face? Oh this one should be fun to play off.

OVERALL:67 (53, 82)

AUSTRALIA DOESN'T TAKE KINDLY TO STRANGERS

Crocodile Dupree vs Invader #1 : Invader #1 takes a headbutt from Crocodile Dupree. Croc hits a right hand. Big backdrop on Invader #1, executed well. Croc slams Invader #1 down. Invader #1 counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Flying shoulder tackle by Invader #1 sends Croc to the mat. Spinebuster by Invader #1. Hooks the leg for a two count. Croc blocks a kick from Invader #1. Spinebuster by Crocodile Dupree. There's a two count on the pin. Crocodile Dupree scores with a standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Croc walks into a trip. Croc gets slammed. Croc backdrops Invader #1 out of a piledriver attempt. Bodyslam by Croc. Invader #1 can barely stand. Death Valley Driver! 1....2....3. Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

Offbeat nationalistic scenarios continue, as the French-Canadian who pretended to be French and is now Australian defeats the Puerto Rican star who claims to be an Invader from...well we're not quite sure? Kinda like how we never really knew who the Conquistadors were conquering for. Hopefully the suspense builds to better ratings, but most likely will lead to universal channel-surfing.

OVERALL:62 (50, 75)

Big Vito, Italian Superstar, is wandering about. In comes The Big Schwag to gloat about all the benefits of being Australian. Like what? Well, the water drains clockwise, and you don't get that anywhere else! Vito plays Bart Simpson and heads for the nearest toilet to see this for himself, but falls victim to a Swirlie from Ashley Hudson and Bill Dundee.

Schwag:"Swirlies have no effect you idiots. He's BALD!"

Hudson and Dundee stare incredulously at each other, then opt for giving him a wedgie. Surely that'll take him off his game when he meets Nathan Jones later on.

OVERALL:53%. Down Underworld gains overness, while Vito drops on the Overmeter.

MORPHINE AND MARDI GRAS:

Marty Jannetty vs Lash LeRoux : LeRoux walks into a spinning heel kick, evidently feeling that the 'duck' tactic is over-rated. Marty Jannetty hits a crap missile dropkick on LeRoux. Cover for a two count. LeRoux blocks a punch. LeRoux hits a massive spinning kick to the jaw. Hard back suplex on Jannetty. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? There's a two count on the pin. Springboard dropkick from Lash LeRoux. Nicely done. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. LeRoux hits a dropkick on Marty Jannetty. Marty Jannetty pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Badly executed second rope splash by Jannetty. Hooks the leg for a two count. Marty Jannetty with an enziguri. Pin, but LeRoux is out just before the three count. Face crusher from Jannetty on LeRoux. Jannetty hits a quick kick on LeRoux. Lash LeRoux pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Hard back suplex on Jannetty. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Back heel kick off the second rope, Jannetty goes down. Marty Jannetty falls through the ropes after a hard shot from LeRoux. He seemed to hit his head on the apron on the way down. The referee reaches a ten count, and this one is over. ** rating for this one. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

Marty wasn't actually knocked cold from the apron fall. He dropped 8 acid tablets before the match, and they really kicked in when he fell to the outside. I guess being entranced by yellow and purple spirals while Gilligan gets fellatio from Mrs. Howell was enough to cost him the match. Where's Jake Roberts you ask? He got arrested for soliciting. Prostitution sting? No, he offered to suck dick for coke...too bad the dealer was an undercover vice cop. Lash moves on in the title tournament.

OVERALL:63 (62, 64)

Somewhere in the arena, David Flair and Eric Angle have a heart to heart. See, they've got a name to live up to. Eh, more like live off of. At any rate, they were blessed with name value and are going to use it to their advantage no matter how bad they suck!

OVERALL:61%

WHICH ONE IS THE ASS AGAIN?

All American Ass vs Eric Angle : Big dropkick by Eric Angle, who got good elevation. Gutwrench into a powerbomb, Triple A hits hard. There's a two count on the pin. All American Ass ducks a clothesline attempt. All American Ass hits some punches. Running knee lift from All American Ass. Cover for a two count. Death valley driver by All American Ass, Eric Angle got planted. Pin, but Eric is out just before the three count. Triple A slams Eric Angle down. Eric blocks the suplex attempt. Gutwrench into a powerbomb, Triple A hits hard. Hooks the leg for a two count. Front legsweep slam by Eric Angle, hit with precision. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. All American Ass takes a butterfly suplex from Eric. Eric drives a forearm into the chest of Triple A. Triple A counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Running knee lift from All American Ass. Lifting DDT by All American Ass, looked good. David Flair comes running down the aisle with a chair! Eric and All American Ass continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. David Flair slides in and prepares to swing the chair...but All American Ass moves! D.Flair accidentally blasts Eric with a chair to the head! All American Ass throws D.Flair out of the ring! Eric Angle can barely stand. Stars and Stripes Wipe! 1....2....3. **1\2 rating for a decent contest.

David Flair still hasn't learned the difference between "Dirtiest Player in the Game" and "Shittiest Player in the Game". With cheating like that he couldn't win at Go Fish. Triple A continues to bring the workrate, taking the highly overappreciated brother of a smark darling to a passable match! You just know his resume is going to say "carried Angle in our match" all over it. God Bless America, and false advertising.

OVERALL:68 (66, 70)

THIS WHOLE SHOW WAS A RACE WAR, WASN'T IT?

Big Vito vs Nathan Jones : Flying shoulder tackle by Vito sends Nathan J to the mat. Big piledriver on Nathan J. There's a two count on the pin. Big Vito gets taken down out of nowhere. Vito gets slammed. Bodyslam by Nathan J. Cover for a two count. Massive lariat, apparently Nathan J has been watching The Best Of Stan Hansen again. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Back elbow connects, Vito staggers backward. Vito blocks a kick from Nathan Jones. Spear by Big Vito. There's a two count on the pin. Big Vito scores with a big spinebuster. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Flying shoulder tackle by Vito sends Nathan J to the mat. Nathan J takes a headbutt from Big Vito. Nathan J ducks a wild right hand. Running knee lift from Nathan Jones. Massive lariat, apparently Nathan J has been watching The Best Of Stan Hansen again. Big Vito is in trouble. Choke Slam! 1....2....3. Big Vito leaves and walks back down the aisle. Wait...Nathan Jones comes running as well, and Vito gets dropped with a clothesline, followed by a load of stomps. He is left lying in the aisle. **1\2 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

Vito came out to wrestle in a thong. No wait, he just didn't pick his wedgie, because he's a MAN~! Or an idiot, you be the judge. He's trying to be an icon to the Italians, just like Sammartino. Too bad he's taking his cues from David Sammartino (speaking of whom, he'd so be in with Flair and Angle if he were in this game). The Best of Stan Hansen is apparently the only tape Nathan Jones owns, unless he's still got those Paradise Beach episodes on tape. The man is so into the gimmick he studies Australian soap operas. At least we think that's the only reason he watches is.

OVERALL:68 (67, 70)

OVERALL RATING: .47

477 People

$14310 in ticket sales

Adding to my already huge roster, I've signed Sonjay Dutt as a lowercard face, and American Kickboxer as a face jobber. I've got some ideas for Kickboxer, but if you've got some for a Dancing Himalayan, or anyone else on the roster, let me know. I'm looking to cut out some dead weight after the next PPV, so if I can't find good gimmicks for some, it's Sayonara.

If you've got gimmick ideas, hire/fire thoughts, any feedback at all, keep checking back. Glad this diary is going over well with you guys, and any criticism is welcome.

July 14, 2003

Change the girl's name to Sister Christian!

And I don't see what more you need than a dancing Himalyan. Have him form Boogie Knights Internatonal with Cassidy O'Reilly. The Irish do a mean jig.

My diary has just been updated as well.

July 14, 2003

...great... Now even ZACK has a diary???

It's a hell of a read. I give it two thumbs up.

July 14, 2003

Change the girl's name to Sister Christian!

And I don't see what more you need than a dancing Himalyan. Have him form Boogie Knights Internatonal with Cassidy O'Reilly. The Irish do a mean jig.

My diary has just been updated as well.

As I was typing "Sister Crystal" I had Night Ranger flashbacks myself, Deacon.

I think I've got a good idea for Sonjay Dutt. Hopefully this month I can get another TV contract so that I have more time to utilize some of the other wrestlers.

July 16, 2003

WWA? Smack It Raw~!

JT Smith and Koko B Ware are in the ring to open the show. As per their WWA? contracts, the two are contractually obligated to team and/or feud with each other, and they're going with the former. Hold on a second, playa, here comes Teddy Long down the aisle to holla at both JT and Koko. The WWE obviously isn't backin' The Mack anymore, as Teddy has found his way to the WWA? He tells JT and Koko not to look at this as an obligation, but a sign from above. Teddy has dreams about starting his own nation, you see, and they can help. Uh, Teddy...Vince's lawyers, line 1. No, not a Nation of Domination you numbnut. A nation that harkens back to the days where black men kicked ass, got ass, and had SOUL~! while doing it. From now on JT is known as Rudy Ray Smith, while The Birdman is known as Koko B Grier. Ladies and Gents, I give you the Nation of Blaxploitation~!

Koko:"Yo Teddy, you realize I got a ladies name?"

Teddy:"It's OK playa, she don't mind."

OVERALL:64%. The fans were confused that I changed JT and Koko's gimmicks so quick (I had them both as "old school faces") while Teddy's new "Inspirational Leader" gimmick got a negative response. So that makes a Whole Damn Show and an Inspirational Leader getting negative responses, while upper midcard face Lodi gets pops for a gay act? This is an alternate universe to be sure. Despite the confusion and negativity, the newly coined Nation all gained overness from this segment.

STICK 'EM IN A MATCH, SEE HOW THEY DO

Nation of Blaxploitation vs Hotshots : Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? O'Reilly crushes Rudy Ray with a running senton. Cover for a two count. O'Reilly tags out to Chase Stevens. Hotshots hook up Rudy Ray, then hit a double suplex. Chase hits a dropkick on Rudy Ray Smith. There's a two count on the pin. Kick from Chase Stevens to the leg. Rudy Ray blocks a kick from Chase Stevens. Chase gets hit with a Black Tiger-esque splash mountain out of the corner. Tag between Rudy Ray Smith and Koko B. Grier. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Spinning bulldog in the corner, Chase is down. Chase counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Tag to Cassidy O'Reilly. O'Reilly crushes Grier with a big legdrop. Grier walks into a face crusher variation. Pin, but Grier is out just before the three count. Cassidy O'Reilly scores with a back heel kick on Grier. Grier blocks the suplex attempt. Super kick by Koko B. Grier. Cassidy O'Reilly is all alone...Soul Shaker!! 1....2....3! Chase and O'Reilly remain in the ring. Cassidy O'Reilly does not look happy at losing. Chase Stevens goes to leave, but gets pulled back in by O'Reilly. Tensions seem to be rising between these two. It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

Good outing for the Nation, as they managed to get the mandatory *1/2 rating for their match. Anything less would be uncivilized. Tensions are mounting in Camp Cracka...I mean, The Hotshots. Was it because they got beat by the bargain bin Dolemite's, or is there something else brewing?

OVERALL:60% (42, 78)

Sister Crystal is backstage with Altar Boy Matthew. She says that Sylvain Grenier needs to get on his knees and pray for victory tonight, as he faces God Push, Version 1. Sylvain doesn't know how to take that, as he's used to being on his knees for much more sinful reasons.

OVERALL:49%, Crystal gains overness.

DELIVER US FROM EVIL (aka lower Sylvain's morale match)

Altar Boy Matthew vs Sylvain Grenier : Grenier walks into a high dropkick from Altar Boy Matthew. Grenier reverses a waistlock. Matthew takes a headbutt from Sylvain Grenier. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Sylvain Grenier scores with a big spinebuster. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Altar Boy Matthew reverses a hip toss. Hard back suplex on Grenier. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Grenier takes a hurrancarana from Altar Boy Matthew. Cover for a two count. Grenier walks into a face crusher variation. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Sylvain Grenier avoids a Altar Boy Matthew avalanche. Spear by Sylvain Grenier. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Altar Boy Matthew takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. Altar Boy Matthew has Sylvain Grenier down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Through the air, Top Rope Leg Drop! 1....2....3. Grenier is pounding the canvas with punches, shouting about how unfair everything is. Almost a ** match, but not quite - *1\2 rating.

The outcome of this was fairly obvious. Matthew has the backing of Sister Crystal, Commisioner Ted DiBiase and The Man Upstairs while Sylvain only got his pushes (note the plural form of the word) from Pat Patterson. Since Pat's not here to dress him up in leather boy scout uniforms and film him blowing his cat, Sylvain's just gonna put over the flavor of the month until YOU THE READERS can 1)help me find something for him to do, or 2)say "just fire his ass, Zack".

OVERALL:58 (45, 72). Altar Boy Matthew gains overness. In other news, the sky is blue.

SEMI-FINAL MATCHUP OF FACE PAINTING, STAMP LICKING, BLOODY GOODNESS

Necro \ Stamp vs Demolition : Necro bodyslams Demolition Ax. Big clothesline on Ax. Cover for a two count. Necro tags out to Stamp Lickage. Necro \ Stamp whip Ax into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Fallaway slam by Stamp Lickage. Demolition Ax fights out of a grapple. Demolition Ax hits a bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Ax tags out to Smash. Full nelson slam on Stamp. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Fallaway slam by Smash. Stamp Lickage fights out of a grapple. Big clothesline on Smash. Tag to Necro Butcher. Necro slams Smash. Smash tags out to Demolition Ax. Fallaway slam by Necro Butcher. Demolition Ax gets knocked to the ground by Necro. Demolition Ax gets locked in the Asiatic Spike! Submission victory! It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

You know, I have to start doing something to crack ** or above. It's getting too monotinous for my liking. Post-match, Necro starts licking Ax's forehead. Necro:"Mmmm, Necro love blood." Stamp:"Necro, that's just facepaint." It's all good, it's non-toxic. Not that he'd care anyways.

OVERALL:57 (36, 78)

SEMI-FINALS 2:ELECTRIC BOOGALOU

Bradley \ Lodi vs Hudson \ Dundee : Uninspiring brawling from Bill Dundee. Bill Dundee strikes Steve Bradley. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Bill Dundee and Ashley Hudson. Bill Dundee scoops up Bradley. Hudson bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Stun Gun from Ashley Hudson! There used to be this blonde guy in WCW in the early 90's who used that...i wonder what happened to him? Ashley Hudson misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Lightning kick by Bradley on Hudson. There's a two count on the pin. Bradley tags out to Lodi. Lodi uses a running dropkick into the corner. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Lodi hits a flying kick on Hudson. Ashley Hudson ducks a clothesline attempt. Lodi takes a butterfly suplex from Hudson. Tag to Bill Dundee. Weak kick from Dundee. Tag to Steve Bradley. Bill Dundee strikes Steve Bradley. Crocodile Dupree comes running down the aisle with a chair! Dundee goes to irish whip Steve Bradley into the ropes. Croc hits Bradley with a chair to the back! Bill Dundee moves in for the kill. DDT!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Bradley \ Lodi are left down and out in the ring thanks to the attack of Hudson, Dundee and Croc. This one gets * rating and likes it.

So I had my way over gay guy, the good worker with a bad gimmick, the bad workers with a good gimmick, and a token Crocodile Dupree appearance, yet only got *? C'mon Keith, now you're just toying with me. The Down Underworld push continues on to the finals of the tag team tournament, gaining overness from this win as they await Necro Butcher and Stamp Lickage.

I just realized I had a roster including The Hotshots, Demolition and Insane Clown Posse, yet members of a quasi-Australian heel group, a postal worker and a blood drinking backwoods weirdo were in the finals of the tournament. Way to get those titles over, Zack!

As I ponder how bad that match will be, Barry Windham is out for the next match. Actually, he's only out here to get jumped by Evan Karagias, who still gets an entrance despite this supposed to be a sneak attack. That Evan, what a showman. Anyways, he stomps away on Windham, telling him you have to have hips to be hip. Suddenly, a new face (and by new I mean "who the hell is this guy"?) appears and runs Evan off. The newcomer is Sonjay Dutt. Evan just thought it was a friend of Lodi's trying to get in his pants.

OVERALL:67. Everybody gained overness from this segment.

Backstage, the Ragin' Cajun, The Bad Boy from the Bayou, Lash LeRoux, has a word for Nathan Jones. He has some pluner for the man from Down Under, and wants to make their semi-final encounter a Hardcore Match!

OVERALL-76. Lash gains.

SPUR OF THE MOMENT BOOKING DECISION PART ONE:

Lash LeRoux vs Nathan Jones : Nathan J slams Lash LeRoux. LeRoux counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. LeRoux hits a massive spinning kick to the jaw. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. DDT from the top rope by Lash LeRoux. That looked brutal. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Nathan Jones fights out of a grapple. Frying pan shot by Nathan J. Spinebuster by Nathan Jones. There's a two count on the pin. Brutal powerbomb on LeRoux. Hooks the leg for a close fall. LeRoux counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Lash LeRoux hits a table shot to the ribs. Pin, but Nathan J is out just before the three count. Nathan J counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Lash LeRoux is in trouble. Here it comes - Choke Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. **1\2 rating for a decent contest.

Even a stipulation and the appearance of one of my two Workrate Gods couldn't raise this one up to ***? I blame YOU, Lash. Surely you can't blame Nathan. Well, I could, but I don't want him to cry and walk out on me. He IS my most over wrestler, as sick as that sounds.

OVERALL:69 (67, 71)

Backstage again, this time with Name Value (David Flair and Eric Angle). David Flair has a name to live off of...er...live up to, so tonight he's challenging Triple A to make THEIR semi-finals match a stipulation match. With David Flair involved, you figure:

Hardcore

Falls Count Anywhere

Anything that resembles a brawl to cover up his horrid workrate

Well, sorry folks, try again. It's gonna be an IRON MAN MATCH!

OVERALL:54

SEMI-FINAL MAIN EVENT

All American Ass vs David Flair : FIRST FALL: Big kick from D.Flair. David Flair DDTs Triple A, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. Cover for a two count. All American Ass powers out of a David Flair headlock. Triple A slams David Flair. Big backdrop on D.Flair, executed well. Cover for a two count. All American Ass scores with a big spinebuster. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Rude Awakening on David Flair by Triple A. All American Ass misses a clothesline. D.Flair hits a stump piledriver on All American Ass, although it was quite weak in its execution. Cover for a two count. David Flair scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Weak bodyslam on Triple A by D.Flair. Triple A takes a snap suplex from David Flair. All American Ass powers out of a David Flair headlock. Running knee lift from All American Ass. Death valley driver by All American Ass, David Flair is down and hurt. Pin, three count, it's over. All American Ass pins D.Flair. SECOND FALL: Triple A slams David Flair. Triple A bodyslams David Flair. Back elbow connects, D.Flair staggers backward. Big backdrop on D.Flair, executed well. D.Flair kicks All American Ass in the gut to reverse the momentum. Big kick from D.Flair. David Flair DDTs Triple A, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. Hooks the leg for a two count. Triple A backdrops David Flair out of a piledriver attempt. All American Ass hits a bulldog off the ropes. Cover for a two count. Death valley driver by All American Ass, David Flair got planted. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. D.Flair ducks a wild right hand. D.Flair hits a stump piledriver on All American Ass, although it was quite weak in its execution. Pin, three count, it's over. David Flair pins Triple A. THIRD FALL: Chanelling the spirit of Misawa, All American Ass uses a forearm to the face. D.Flair blocks a kick from All American Ass. Triple A hits a punch, but takes one right back. CLUBBERIN', CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN' TONY! Sorry, flashback moment. All American Ass charges, D.Flair moves, and the referee is conveniently placed to get knocked out. David Flair uses something vaguely resembling a reverse suplex. Cover, but there's no one to count for David Flair. All American Ass elbows David Flair in the face to break a hammerlock. Big clothesline on D.Flair. Massive backbreaker, D.Flair got planted. Early reports indicate that the back was *not* actually broken, so the move's name should actually be backhurter. Hooks the leg for a two count. Brutal powerbomb on D.Flair. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. D.Flair kicks All American Ass in the gut to reverse the momentum. Big clothesline from D.Flair. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. All American Ass takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. All American Ass moves in for the kill. Fame-Ass-Er! 1....2....3. END OF BOUT. I'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

Most people can't make it through ONE David Flair match, but this was like a three for one deal. Man, I probably lost my TV deal by having this one as my main event. Even All American Gas couldn't carry this one, as he got blown up 3 minutes in by having to walk into David's punches.

OVERALL:55 (50, 61)

OVERALL RATING:59

.51 rating

475 people paying $14250

Necro Butcher, Stamp Lickage and Chase Stevens all wish to be moved up the card.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it-find me something to do with Sylvain Grenier, or else his already sore ass hits the sidewalk at the end of the month!

July 16, 2003

Dude, if you are using the RaveX #16 update for your diary, may I suggest picking up Air Paris, Erin Bray (yes, the person no one knew who was guy or girl: she's really a girl but the game and updates have her as a guy), Derrick King, Jason Lee, JC Ice, and Jayson Reign. All of them are great pick ups. Not only that but Derrick King and Jason Lee (Suicide Blondes) make a hell of a Prima Donna evil tag team.

If you've got no plans for any of these guys, just sign them up to a developmental deal. Seriously, they are worth picking up. Hell, maybe you could make a stable out of them or something.

July 17, 2003

First of all, Derrick King is awesome, but has no charisma

Pick up Jay Lethal, and if u can, Micheal Shane.

I'm into 2005 in my WWE game, and am booking the entire group around them three

Second of all, Sylvain Grenier

Honesatly i have no idea

July 17, 2003

First of all, Derrick King is awesome, but has no charisma

Pick up Jay Lethal, and if u can, Micheal Shane.

I'm into 2005 in my WWE game, and am booking the entire group around them three

Second of all, Sylvain Grenier

Honesatly i have no idea

In the RaveX #16 update you've got problems.

Firstly, Michael Shane is with RoH (I know, as I'm playing them), along with Jay Lethal (who is named Hydro and has a stat reduction and charisma is now at 50). Derrick King and Jason Lee are both awesome in the stats update, but yes. Derrick King is sitting at 60 for Charisma. However, a few months in developmental and he should be ready to go. Not only that but if you put Jason Lee in it as well, you can get his charisma over into the near 90s. Makes him valuable for a main eventer needed push.

Actually, Rob Conway and Nick Dinsmore are wonderful finds as well since the WWE drops them off. Along with CHAVO GUERRERO JR, EDGE, SCOTTY 2 HOTTY (in the stats update he just kills), and WILLIAM REGAL~!

Oh and I found out something sneaky as well. Know how you sign a guy and you only get him for six months at most (mostly related to Main Eventers that have like 80+ overness)? After you sign him the first time, turn around and sign that same person again but you'll get them for a longer period of time and thusly need not worry about them leaving so hastily (unless stolen). Cause I just did that with Devon Storm, Juventud Guerrera, Edge, Scott Taylor (Scotty 2 Hotty), and Chavo Guerrero Jr. Heh, Samoa Joe is going to have fun with the whole bunch of them~!

July 17, 2003

Thanks for the suggestions gang. I'm aware of all the great pickups in the game, but as you can see a lot of this is played for laughs, so I don't want to have the Alpha Roster going on.

Grenier is honestly a good pickup, as he's got above average stats. At this rate he's just gonna be "That Guy" Sylvain Grenier until he gets the pink slip.

I'm also eager to see pop-culture guru Deacon's take on the Nation of Blaxploitation, lol.

July 17, 2003

There are quite a few things you could do with Mr. Grenier.

~The most obvious is have him join the Nation of Blaxploitation. I mean, come on; his tag team partner gets a spot in the hottest stable since the Corporate Ministry, and he's stuck in the cold? Change his name to something Thug Style, have him wear black paint, and speak in ebonics. I mean, think of the ratings: A FRENCH-CANADIAN SPEAKING IN EBONICS.

~Have him join The Holy Light. Give him the priest gimmick and call him "High Priest" Sylvian Grenier or something, and have him form an intimate relationship with his Altar Boy, Matthew.

~WOMEN'S RIGHTS ACTIVIST

July 17, 2003

For the Nation of Blaxsploitation, I'd bring in Ron Simmons as Black Moses and The Godfather as the Avenging Disco Godfather just to round things out, possibly even Jimmy Snuka Jr. as "Superfly" and he can move on to Name Value eventually. There's a guy in the game named Fred Williams, bring him in as Fred the Hammer Williams. If all else fails, stick Grenier with them as Token or Cracker AssCracker. He's there pet white boy that takes all their beatings and fetches their dry cleaning. The stable's theme song should be "Get the Funk Out of My Face" by the Brothers Johnson.

July 17, 2003

LOL. Some good ideas there Supes.

I'm not sure how Sylvain in the Nation of Blaxploitation would play out. Seeing Grenier in blackface=comedy gold, though.

Matthew isn't about to hook up with anyone, occupation-wise or personally, other than Crystal. Well, when he gets the sack up to do something other than sing hymns with her.

Woman's Activist? Sylvain Grenier 4 Eva, Sista~!

rising up out of the back seat-nuh · July 17, 2003

For Sylvian, three words:

Fat

Chick

Thriller

July 17, 2003

While you guys are feeling creative, this is just a quick list of guys on the roster that need some gimmick/personality tweaking:

FACES (as of right now):

Anthony Durante (also known as Pitbull 2 from ECW). He hasn't even been used yet.

Ditto for Adam Windsor.

Ditto Invader 1.

HEELS:

Paul Diamond. The only idea I came up with for him was for him to become a Neil Diamond impersonator, a la Honky Tonk Man/Elvis.

Johnny Spade

Scott Vick

July 17, 2003

Windsor needs a submission move called the Windsor Knot. You could make him a bastard son of an english nobleman and therefore get to use the Bumbling Englishmen gimmick.

Make Johnny Spade a detective, ala Sam Spade. Have him always smoking, drinking and narrating his own thoughts.

Give Paul Diamond the Max Moon gimmick back or put him under a hood as Kato and he can form the New, New Orient Express.

Give Vick the atomic noogie as a finisher, called the Vick's Vapor Rub.

Team Invader number 1 and Pitbull number 2 up, right numbers, wrong teams.

July 17, 2003

I like some of those ideas, Deacon. I think you've given me a good idea for Scott Vick based on the mention of "Vick's Vapor Rub".

I completely forgot about Max Moon/Kato, for whatever reason. One or both of those gimmicks could show up as well.

Thanks for all the feedback.

July 17, 2003

no no no!

Scott Vick = Val Vick

Some Chick = Valarie Vussy

Max Moon = Vax Vanal

I give you... THE NATION OF FORNICATION!!

July 18, 2003

QUOTE (the 1inch punch @ Jul 16 2003, 06:11 PM)

First of all, Derrick King is awesome, but has no charisma

Pick up Jay Lethal, and if u can, Micheal Shane.

I'm into 2005 in my WWE game, and am booking the entire group around them three

Second of all, Sylvain Grenier

Honesatly i have no idea

In the RaveX #16 update you've got problems.

Firstly, Michael Shane is with RoH (I know, as I'm playing them), along with Jay Lethal (who is named Hydro and has a stat reduction and charisma is now at 50). Derrick King and Jason Lee are both awesome in the stats update, but yes. Derrick King is sitting at 60 for Charisma.

Ive never used one of the RaveX updates.

I know I could have stuck Derrick in the developmental, but, at the time, i had an idea for a character called California (named after John McGinley in Seven), stuck him with a Loner gimmick, it worked, and i ran with it. Eventually i had to stick Jim Mitchell with him to get him into the main event

Sub note, in said game, WMXX1 main even of Micheal Shane vs Satoshi Kojima got ****. I rule

Anthony Durante (also known as Pitbull 2 from ECW). He hasn't even been used yet.

Whatever u do with him, name his finisher, "Durante's Inferno"

Scott Vick

Well, everyoneelse calls him Sickboy, go from there

July 19, 2003

WWA? Smack It RAW for 9/23/03

Hosted by Dave "Why Me?" Meltzer and Doc Marlee

Todd Gordon is out to introduce himself as the NEW Commisioner of the WWA? Wait, where's Ted DiBiase? Well, it seems that Ted got a neck injury that would keep him out for 8 months. Kind of ironic that Ted was "born again" yet the same injury that ended his first career ended his WWA? stay. Backstage, Altar Boy Matthew begins to cry, knowing that he's bound to be doing jobs for Sylvain Grenier. Not in the ring, either. He means he'll be waxing his car, painting the house, and tearing out those damn weeds that get twisted around the fence. To further this belief, Gordon says that Altar Boy can take on both Hotshots in a handicap match tonight!

OVERALL:63. Gordon's "Evil Boss" Gimmick got a negative response, but he gained overness. Those fans are a fickle bunch.

SO MUCH FOR MY PUSH:

Altar Boy Matthew vs Hotshots : O'Reilly hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Hotshots whip Matthew into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Cover for a two count. Power drive elbow by Cassidy O'Reilly. Pin, but Matthew is out just before the three count. Hotshots hook up Matthew, then hit a double suplex. O'Reilly counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Chase takes a hurrancarana from Altar Boy Matthew. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. O'Reilly blocks a kick from Altar Boy Matthew. Hard back suplex on Matthew. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Hotshots hook up Matthew, then hit a double suplex. Cover for a two count. O'Reilly walks into a trip. DDT from the top rope by Altar Boy Matthew. That looked brutal. Altar Boy Matthew has Cassidy O'Reilly down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Off the top - Top Rope Leg Drop, forget about it. 1....2...3! I'll give it a *1\2 rating.

I should change Matthew's finisher to the *1/2 Frog Splash, since that seemingly the only rating he'll ever get. It's almost like when Deacon gave every Villanos match *****, except it's for real. Cassidy O'Reilly lost overness from this match, probably because the only person who actually likes him (his partner) is growing tired of him.

OVERALL:59 (42, 77)

Evan Karagias is in the ring, and he'd like to know what the deal was last week when newcomer Sonjay Dutt ran in to help Old Man Windham. Sonjay comes out and asks Evan if he remembers him. Evan takes a peek at Sonjay's ass, but then shakes his head no. Did Evan forget that Lodi's the gay one on this roster? Eh, the juries still out on that one. Anyhow, Sonjay was a backup dancer for three count back in Indianapolis a few years ago. I thought you were from India? No, Indiana. Sonjay felt spurned by Three Count back then, and since he can't get his hands on either Helms or Moore (re:He couldn't get signed by the WWE), he's here to prove himself to Evan. Evan's feelin' froggy, so they make the match for RIGHT NOW!

OVERALL:64. Sonjay's "Dancer" gimmick got a negative response, but both of these guys gained overness. Am I hosting a show for the Bi-Polar Association of America or what tonight?

SPUR OF THE MOMENT MATCHMAKING aka "If we weren't originally booked, do we still get paid?"

Sonjay Dutt vs Evan Karagias : Spinning back kick from Evan Karagias. Dutt counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Spinning back kick from Sonjay Dutt. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Vicious kick to the teeth from Sonjay Dutt. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Karagias counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Hard back suplex on Dutt. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Karagias crushes Dutt with a big legdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Springboard dropkick from Evan Karagias. Nicely done. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Evan Karagias gets taken down out of nowhere. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Karagias is down. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Evan Karagias ducks a clothesline attempt. Evan Karagias floors Dutt near the ropes and makes the pin. Karagias is using the ropes for leverage! The referee hasn't seen it: 1....2....3!! Evan Karagias leaves the ring and heads off down the aisle at speed. Karagias has the victory, and isn't hanging around for Sonjay Dutt to look for revenge. I'll give it a *1\2 rating.

*Sniff* I love the effort from this roster. Everyone tries their damned hardest to get a *1/2 rating in their first outing, and this was no surprise. Evan's evil ways mean that this feud is far from over, which should leave the teenage girls and Kwik-E-Mart attendants who are looking forward to it happy.

OVERALL:58 (40, 76)

Backstage, Commisioner Gordon is fuming that Altar Boy Matthew prevailed in the handicap match earlier. He picks up his cell phone and makes a call...

Gordon:"Yeah, Guido's? Todd Gordon. I need 2 large cheese and pepporoni, a ham and cheese calzone, and a Diet Coke sent to the arena."

(What, you thought he was calling a MYSTERY MAN? He can't do that on his cell phone. He needs his SUPER SLEEK RED PHONE OF HEELDOM AND OCCASIONAL GAMBLING for that.)

Gordon:"Hey, it's me. Oh yeah, how'd I come off on TV? I do NOT need to lose a few pounds. All right, enough of that. Can you get here next week? No, not now, next week. I KNOW the phone is for emergencies only, what do you think this is? Look, just show up, and bring the costume, OK. No, not for that! Bye."

OVERALL:67. Commisioner Gordon. Red Phone. Costume. Think you know where this is going yet? Because I sure as hell don't.

THE PRIDE OF AUSTRALIAN PEOPLE VS. THE PRIDE OF THE VILLAGE PEOPLE

Lodi vs Crocodile Dupree : Flying elbow from Lodi, barely hitting the target. Lodi, chanelling the power of Takada, hits a high kick on Crocodile Dupree. Hooks the leg for a two count. Lodi only gets knees on a splash. Croc bodyslams Lodi. Running knee lift from Crocodile Dupree. Cover for a two count. Death valley driver by Crocodile Dupree, Lodi is down and hurt. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Running knee lift from Crocodile Dupree. Lodi pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Lodi uses a running dropkick into the corner. Cover for a two count. Flying knee to the face from Lodi. Is it Mutoh Appreciation Night? Hooks the leg for a close fall. Croc takes a chop from Lodi. Lodi snapmares Crocodile Dupree. Croc counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Flying shoulder tackle by Croc sends Lodi to the mat. Death valley driver by Crocodile Dupree, Lodi got planted. Crocodile Dupree moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Death Valley Driver. 1....2...3, it's finished. Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

Hmph, according to this match, Dupree hit his finisher at 3 different points. This either means that we're going the Puro route, or I'm an idiot for not changing it.

OVERALL:61 (57,65). Crocodile Dupree gains overness.

CLASH OF THE COSTUME PARTY INVITEES:

Nation of Blaxploitation vs Demolition : Back suplex on Smash, which is a backdrop to you NOAH fans. Smash takes a butterfly suplex from Rudy Ray. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rudy Ray tags out to Koko B. Grier. Nation of Blaxploitation whip Smash into the corner. Rudy Ray Smith whips Koko B. Grier in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Driven DDT by Koko B. Grier. The ring shook violently, instantly making it better at selling than some of the current roster. Grier only gets knees on a splash. Nice piledriver on Grier. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Demolition Ax. Nice piledriver on Grier. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Flying shoulder tackle by Ax sends Grier to the mat. Grier counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Driven DDT by Koko B. Grier. The ring shook violently, instantly making it better at selling than some of the current roster. Tag to Rudy Ray Smith. Rudy Ray Smith uses move #193 (arm-BAR). Tag to Smash. Vertical suplex by Rudy Ray Smith. Smash is in big trouble...Soul Shaker!! 1....2....3! It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

Rudy Ray and Koko continue on the path to greatness, as they get a win over what Teddy Long calls "Too late, outta date, wanna be punk rockers!" Punk rockers? The only thing that's rocking in Demolition's life are the chairs on their front porches. Bill Eadie hasn't even been able to hear music since 1991. Why do you think they make him come out to Don Johnson's "Heartbeat"? That, and it's also due to the fact that Don's grateful someone remembers that song, and didn't want to charge for royalties out of the kindness of his heart.

OVERALL:57 (41, 74)

Necro Butcher and Stamp Lickage are walking backstage, when they notice a trail of raw meat and damaged Priority Mail boxes. Is Necro trying to sniff out clues? No, he's on the floor licking up the blood from the meat. But WAIT...It's all a trap! The Down Underworld rush onto the scene and beat them down with boomerangs, then force them into a room for the gravest of all Australian torture: A Yahoo Serious movie marathon. Screams are heard, but no one helps. Who can blame them...would YOU go in there?

OVERALL:56. Bill Dundee, Ashley Hudson and Big Schwag all gain overness.

WHAT'S IN A NAME? NOT TALENT.

D.Flair \ Eric vs LeRoux \ Bradley : Eric Angle snap suplexes LeRoux. Big dropkick by Eric Angle, who got good elevation. Cover for a two count. Eric tags out to David Flair. Eric \ D.Flair whip LeRoux into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Cover for a two count. Running clothesline from David Flair, sloppily done. Lash LeRoux comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Super frankensteiner on D.Flair, who hit hard. Cover for a two count. LeRoux tags out to Steve Bradley. Spinning bulldog in the corner, D.Flair is down. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Steve Bradley hits a rolling kick on D.Flair. D.Flair pushes out of a Steve Bradley hold. David Flair with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Bradley. D.Flair tags out to Eric Angle. Eric Angle snap suplexes Bradley. Tag between Steve Bradley and Lash LeRoux. Vertical suplex by Eric Angle. Eddie Valentine comes running down the aisle with a chair! Eric goes to irish whip Lash LeRoux into the ropes. Valentine hits LeRoux with a chair to the back! Lash LeRoux is in trouble. Angle Slam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! LeRoux \ Bradley are beaten down three-on-two by the combined forces of D.Flair, Eric and Valentine. ** rating for this one. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

After the match, Eric and David question why Eddie Valentine would help them. Hey, he's got name value too! He's the second cousin through marriage of Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. That counts, doesn't it? Then how is his last name Valentine? Don't ask...Greg's family is very weird. And Southern.

OVERALL:64 (57,71). Eddie Valentine debuted a "Degenerate" gimmick to a positive response. It helps when you live the gimmick, I guess.

Backstage, All American Ass is ticked at Nathan Jones and his cronies for attacking his partners for tonight's 6 Man. However, he's found 2 guys who are willing to stand behind him! In walks the Insane Clown Posse with faces painted in America's colors, like Jim Duggan at Summerslam '89. They make cracks about standing behind Ass. Waitaminute...making cracks...it's ass puns abound!

OVERALL:71

NO, SERIOUSLY, THIS IS THE MAIN EVENT:

Triple A\2 Dope\Violent J vs Down Underworld : Uninspiring brawling from Violent J. Weak bodyslam on Dundee by Violent J. Violent J tags out to All American Ass. Running knee lift from All American Ass. Dundee walks into a spike slam. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Shaggy 2 Dope. Triple A \ 2 Dope whip Dundee into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Shaggy 2 Dope arm drags Dundee over. Dundee reverses a waistlock. Bill Dundee hits a big clothesline, not of the 'from Hell' variety. Tag to Ashley Hudson. Face crusher from Hudson on 2 Dope. Belly to belly off the top rope, 2 Dope got folded up big time. Pin, but 2 Dope is out just before the three count. Big dropkick by Ashley Hudson, who got good elevation. Hudson tags out to Nathan Jones. 2 Dope takes a headbutt from Nathan Jones. Back elbow connects, 2 Dope staggers backward. Shaggy 2 Dope elbows Nathan Jones in the face to break a hammerlock. Tag between Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J. Nathan Jones takes a right hand to the temple from Violent J. Nathan J tags out to Bill Dundee. Uninspiring brawling from Bill Dundee. Big clothesline from Dundee. 'Big' because it missed by a big margin. Violent J scores with a forearm, sending Dundee down into the corner. The referee pulls Violent J away to get the break. Wait! Dundee has pulled something out of his tights. Violent J walks over...and gets floored by a punch! 1....2....3! The referee never saw the brass knuckles! This one gets * rating and likes it.

So much for building to the PPV, as Jones and Ass never made contact. Anticipation is what sells, I suppose. I got afraid when Dundee pulled something out of his tights, but it was only brass knuckles. Sadly for him, those are the hardest things in his tights these days. Maybe Jake Roberts and Marty Jannetty have some Viagra mixed in with their Vicodin.

OVERALL:55 (47, 63).

60% OVERALL RATING

.55 Rating

469 People

$14070 in ticket sales

Altar Boy Matthew wished to be promoted, and so he has been. I've also sent a promo tape to the Sunshine Network. Back later with the WWA? Wasteland PPV!

rising up out of the back seat-nuh · July 19, 2003

whats your image at so far? at least it looks like your ratings are getting higher. i'm shocked and appalled...

July 19, 2003

WWA? Wasteland PPV

Coming to you live from the State Landfill in scenic Johnston, RI. Scenic because from the top of the trash heap, you can see across the state. It's a tourist trap I tell ya.

Your hosts as always are the pessimistic Dave Meltzer and the happy to have a job Doc Marlee.

I know what you guys are thinking...a PPV? But it's had no build really, and no matches announced except for the title tournament finals. Hey, just like that WWE promotion! Truth be told, the PPV was booked on a napkin 2 weeks ago, but Ted DiBiase's wife threw it out when they cleaned out his office.

Before the PPV, Todd Gordon calls Altar Boy Matthew and Sylvain Grenier into his office. Since Matthew was Ted's pet project, Gordon is going to make sure that nothing comes easy to him. Tonight, he's making a Pink Slip Ladder Match between Grenier and Matthew.

Grenier:"I don't know about a pink slip, boss. Red is really more my color."

Gordon:"You idiot. It means that whoever grabs the pink slip keeps their job, and the other guy is fired!"

Grenier:"So do you want me to put it on when I grab it, or no?"

Gordon sighs, and orders the pair out of his office, then takes a sip from his flask. Better put a lock on your drawer, Todd. Jake Roberts is in the building and will sniff that out like a DEA dog. No, I wasn't trying to be funny. Jake's had so many run-ins with them that he's picked up a few tricks.

OVERALL:59%. Todd Gordon gained overness.

PINK SLIP LADDER MATCH

Altar Boy Matthew vs Sylvain Grenier : Grenier slams Altar Boy Matthew onto the ladder. Grenier hits a stump piledriver on Altar Boy Matthew. Grenier walks into a trip. Dropkick connects, Grenier goes down. Flying elbow from Altar Boy Matthew. Matthew hits a face jam on Sylvain Grenier onto the ladder. Hard back suplex on Grenier. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Sylvain Grenier takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. Full nelson slam on Matthew. Brutal powerbomb on Matthew. Fallaway slam by Sylvain Grenier. Sylvain Grenier throws the ladder into Matthew. Grenier drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Grenier takes a flying neckbreaker from Altar Boy Matthew. Vicious kick to the teeth from Altar Boy Matthew. Altar Boy Matthew has Sylvain Grenier down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Off the top - Top Rope Leg Drop hit hard. Altar Boy Matthew climbs the ladder and grabs the prize for the win. Grenier is pounding the canvas with punches, shouting about how unfair everything is. I'm going to give this a ** rating because i'm in a generous mood.

Even if he lost, I would have kept Matthew, just for exerting that extra effort to crack 2 stars. Keith's starting to break down (or he got the sausage links I had Stamp Lickage Fed Ex him). As you know I've found nothing to do with Grenier, so he'll be back to turning tricks on the streets of Quebec by the first of the month.

OVERALL:61 (51, 72).

The Down Underworld are pre-celebrating their wins tonight. You see, once Ashely Hudson and Bill Dundee win the All Star Tag Team Titles, and Nathan Jones kicks All American Ass' ass, they're going to take the reins of the promotion and christen it World Wrestling Australia. Hey, it would still draw more than RAW house shows.

OVERALL:59%. Big Schwag gained overness.

ALL STAR TAG TEAM TITLES:

Hudson \ Dundee vs Necro \ Stamp (For The All Star Tag Team Titles Titles) : Running knee lift from Necro Butcher. Necro hits a stump piledriver on Ashley Hudson. Cover for a two count. Necro tags out to Stamp Lickage. Stamp \ Necro whip Hudson into the corner. Stamp Lickage whips Necro Butcher in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Big clothesline on Hudson. Hooks the leg for a two count. Stamp Lickage hits some punches. Stamp Lickage misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Ashley Hudson blasts Stamp with a rather-less-than-super kick. Tag to Bill Dundee. Bill Dundee hits a weak elbow on Stamp Lickage. Big clothesline from Dundee. 'Big' because it missed by a big margin. Stamp pushes out of a Bill Dundee hold. Tag to Necro Butcher. Necro hits a stump piledriver on Bill Dundee. Necro Butcher scores with a big spinebuster. Pin, but Dundee is out just before the three count. Necro hits a right hand. Dundee ducks a wild right hand. Bill Dundee hits a sloppy bulldog off the ropes. The Big Schwag is at ringside! Necro wastes valuable time by yelling at Schwag! Bill Dundee takes advantage of the distraction and nails Necro from behind! Bill Dundee moves in for the kill. DDT! 1....2....3. Necro \ Stamp are beaten down three-on-two by the combined forces of Hudson, Dundee and Schwag. I'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

One star doesn't make you an All Star, but that's why I put the question marks in the fed's name. Down Underworld make good on part of their promise, taking the titles from a duo that unfortunately has not set the world on fire yet. "Hmmm, if we do that then maybe people would watch us!" say Necro. "Yeah, being executed while Tom Brokaw does play by play".

OVERALL:52 (34, 71).

POTENTIAL SLEEPER MATCH

Chance Beckett vs Kaz Hayashi vs Steve Bradley vs Crocodile Dupree : Crocodile Dupree fires off some right and left hands. Bodyslam by Croc. Hooks the leg for a two count. Crocodile Dupree misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Tag between Chance Beckett and Steve Bradley. Driven DDT by Steve Bradley. The ring shook violently, instantly making it better at selling than some of the current roster. Steve Bradley misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee by mistake. Tiger suplex on Croc, right from out of the Misawa playbook. Cover, but there's no one to count for Steve Bradley. Spin kick by Steve Bradley to the face. Crocodile Dupree fights out of a grapple. Tag to Kaz Hayashi. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Bradley is down. Kaz Hayashi hits a rolling kick on Bradley. Kaz Hayashi misses a clothesline. Spin kick by Steve Bradley to the face. Back heel kick off the second rope, Kaz goes down. Pin : 1 - 2- 3. Bradley defeats Kaz. Standing leg lariat by Chance Beckett on Bradley. Spin kick by Chance Beckett to the face. Cover for a two count. Flying reverse elbow by Chance Beckett. Pin, but Bradley is out just before the three count. Bradley counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Diamond Dust from Steve Bradley, Beckett is out. Bradley tags out to Crocodile Dupree. Crocodile Dupree scores with a standing spinebuster. Pin, three count, it's over. Crocodile Dupree pins Beckett. Bradley takes a headbutt from Crocodile Dupree. Crocodile Dupree misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Lightning kick by Bradley on Croc. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Crocodile Dupree powers out of a Steve Bradley headlock. Rude Awakening on Steve Bradley by Croc. Steve Bradley can barely stand. Here it comes - Exploder Suplex. 1....2...3, it's finished. Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

From three DVD's in one match last week, to a standing spinebuster as well as stalling technique? Dupree went from semi-Puro god to working the WWE main event style over the course of two shows. Normally I'd be afraid of having him stolen, because with talent like Kaz Hayashi, Lash LeRoux, Chance Beckett or Sonjay Dutt, the WWE wouldn't want the psuedo-Australian with a faux French accent, would they?

(Checks history of WWE hiring decisions.)

Shit.

OVERALL:62 (46, 78)

BLOWOUT AFTER A BLOWOFF:

Evan Karagias vs Sonjay Dutt : Sonjay Dutt strikes Karagias. Karagias powers out of a headlock. Kick from Evan Karagias to the leg. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Tiger suplex on Dutt, right from out of the Misawa playbook. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Sonjay Dutt avoids a Evan Karagias avalanche. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Dutt crushes Karagias with a big legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Springboard dropkick from Sonjay Dutt. Nicely done. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Sonjay Dutt misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Karagias crushes Dutt with a running senton. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Sonjay Dutt avoids a Evan Karagias avalanche. Evan Karagias gets knocked to the ground by Dutt, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Off the top - Bombay Splash, forget about it. 1....2...3! Karagias grabs the referee, then nails him with a right hand! Dozens of people hit the ring to stop any further incident. It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

A ref bump only seconds into the match? When did Russo come aboard? Karagias missed the avalanche the first time, yet still went for it a second time. And missed. We could change his name to Evan Persistence and have him use one move every match, hitting it numerous times until he gets a pin off it. It'd be no more monotinous than a Nash/HHH match, and if that can headline a PPV, I can use it in a midcard feud.

OVERALL:59 (41, 77). Sonjay Dutt gained overness, while Evan lost overness. No doubt for the repeated spot. Tsk Tsk.

The Nation Of Blaxploitation are in their dressing room watching Truck Turner, when Marty Jannetty and Jake Roberts burst in. Theodore Long wants to know what the interruption is about, and Jake mumbles that Long's friend "Huggy Bear" needs to find him a ho, pronto. He accidentally gave Bill Dundee the Vicodin and took the Viagra, and he's not going out for his match like that. It didn't do Shawn Stasiak any good a few years ago. Long asks which one is he calling Huggy Bear, and Jake is shocked to find that there's actually two other guys in the room. He just thought he was seeing double. Jannetty notices a white substance on the shoulder of Jake's shirt, and thinks he got some of their coke on himself. Nah, that's just dandruff. "Oh...you gonna have it?" The sight of Marty Jannetty snorting dandruff off of Jake's shirt is enough to piss the Nation off and call them out for a match.

OVERALL:61%. Marty Jannetty debuted his "junkie" gimmick to a positive response.

THUGGIN' AND DRUGGIN', PLAYA

Roberts \ Jannetty vs Nation of Blaxploitation : Jake Roberts with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Rudy Ray. Powerslam from Jake Roberts on Rudy Ray. Hooks the leg for a two count. Roberts tags out to Marty Jannetty. Jannetty \ Roberts hook up Rudy Ray, then hit a double suplex. Jannetty hits a dropkick on Rudy Ray Smith. 'Hit' may be an exaggeration, as it barely touched. Hooks the leg for a two count. Marty Jannetty strikes Rudy Ray. Rudy Ray Smith fights out of a grapple. Tiger Driver nearly crushes the spine of Jannetty. Misawa approves i'm sure. Tag to Koko B. Grier. Spin kick by Koko B. Grier to the face. Super kick by Koko B. Grier. Jannetty pushes out of a Koko B. Grier hold. Tag to Jake Roberts. Jake Roberts hits a bulldog off the ropes. Flapjack from Roberts on Grier. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Lame kick from Roberts. Roberts drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Super frankensteiner on Roberts, who hit hard. Jake Roberts is in big trouble...Soul Shaker!! 1....2....3! It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating.

"Hit" is never an exaggeration with Marty Jannetty. He might not give 'em like he used to, but he can sure as hell take 'em. He's also pretty resilient in the ring as well. The Nation score a big win, while Jake and Marty go out in search of a big score.

OVERALL:67 (53, 62). Jannetty and Roberts balked about doing the job, but handing them a little something under the table (in reality it was Flinstone Vitamins that they mistook for ecstasy) was enough to convince them. The Nation gained overness from the win, so everyone benefits.

THIS IS IT, THE MAIN EVENT FOR THE ALL STAR TITLE

Nathan Jones vs All American Ass (For The All Star Title Title) : Nathan J hits a right hand. Stiff chop lights up Triple A. Flying shoulder tackle by Nathan J sends Triple A to the mat. Running knee lift from Nathan Jones. All American Ass ducks a clothesline attempt. Big backdrop on Nathan J, executed well. Full nelson slam on Nathan J. There's a two count on the pin. Nathan Jones ducks a clothesline attempt. Big piledriver on Triple A. Cover for a two count. Powerbomb on Triple A. Pin, but Triple A is out just before the three count. Triple A counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Chanelling the spirit of Misawa, All American Ass uses a forearm to the face. Nathan J drops out the back of a All American Ass bodyslam attempt. Back elbow connects, Triple A staggers backward. Nathan Jones moves in for the kill. Choke Slam! 1....2....3. Nathan Jones gives a murderous look toward All American Ass...and attacks! Triple A gets dropped to the canvas, then battered with a barrage of rights and lefts. Nathan J leaves the ring having left Triple A down and out. Almost a *** rating, but there were some bits that dragged, so **3\4 instead.

A, after a few incidents of low match ratings, all is well among my two Workrate Gods, as they've gotten the highest match rating EVER in the WWA? Nearly cracking three stars is a big deal, considering that guys like RVD, Booker T or even Ric Flair haven't done that lately. Oh wait, they're not allowed to. The World Title is now firmly positioned around the waist of Nathan Jones and the Down Underworld, at least until I come up with something better or he gets signed away.

OVERALL:74 (77,70)

62% OVERALL RATING

.34 buyrate

$850000 in PPV Revenue

$123960 in ticket sales

For chave, who asked earlier, my PI is up to 90%(!!!) after this event, which means I'll go National in no time. Of course I'll probably still be bleeding money due to having a roster of 46 and using about 20 of them, but such is life. Keep checking back for new events, and keep the feedback coming, it's appreciated.

July 20, 2003

Hey, Zack. Good stuff with the PPV. Keep it up.

World Wrestling AllStars???

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