Smackdown Spoilers for 07/17/03

[Kurt Angle Mark 0]

From wrestlingobserver.com

 

 

Dark matches:

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I got there at the tail end of a tag match featuring Mark Henry. His team won, is about all I can say about this match.

 

Carly Colon v. ? - I guess this is Colon's debut, as I haven't seen reports of him wrestling here before. He was announced as "from Puerto Rico." Colon hit a fantastic springboard twisting somersault press and got a rollup for the win.

 

 

Velocity:

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Josh Matthews and The Cat are introduced to lead into Velocity. Cat has the ring announcer and referee dance to his music, and then dances with them.

 

FBI v. Spanky/Funaki - Spanky and Funaki get in some good acrobatic stuff, but they're so small they make the FBI look like HHH. They also won, but I forget how.

 

Albert v. Orlando Jordan - Really short match that Albert won with a sloppy looking finisher.

 

Basham Brothers v. Johnny Jeter/? - The Bashams get the home-town pop before the match. They also won.

 

Nidia v. Dawn Marie - Dawn Marie mocks Nidia because Knoble is in love with Torrie, but Nidia gets the win after a short, bad match.

 

 

Smackdown:

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They hit the lights and the pyro, and we're on to Smackdown.

 

After a video package recapping Lesnar getting chokeslammed through the announce table, Vince comes out to lead off. He said people need to learn their lessons, as Kurt Angle did, because he told Angle if he interfered in the handicap match involving Lesnar and Show the previous week, he'd be fired. He also announces Angle v. Show/Haas/Benjamin for this week. Lesnar comes out, and Vince warns him not to cross the boss. Brock proposes a match between he and Vince, and Vince agrees, just not for tonight. He says Brock is still injured from the chokeslam, and orders him to take the night off and not to interfere in Angle's match tonight.

 

Chris Benoit v. Matt Hardy - Semi-finals in the US Title tournament. Slow to start but picks up when Hardy goes for a diving headbutt from the top and misses. Benoit hits the (truncated) rolling Germans, but then misses his own headbutt from the top. After a struggle on the top turnbuckle, Benoit hits the Crossface coming down and gets the win to advance.

 

They shoot some t-shirts into the crowd. They did this twice and it got the second biggest crowd reaction of anything on the show.

 

Backstage, Vince is at his desk. Stephanie walks in and wants to know where Sable is. Vince says he has Sable in a safe place so Stephanie can't find her, but he says Sable gave him some Midol to give to Stephanie for her PMS.

 

Backstage, Kurt Angle catches up with Brock as he's leaving the building. They engage in witty banter about their upcoming title match at the PPV and Brock warns him to watch out for the announce table tonight.

 

Jamie Knoble (w/Nidia) v. Ultimo Dragon - Knoble comes out with the mic and says he got carried away last week when he made his indecent proposal to Torrie. He gets carried away even further and doubles his offer. Nidia leaves in a huff. The match doesn't go long, but Dragon hits a nice Asai moonsault. Billy Gunn and Torrie walk out, Knoble gets distracted and Dragon gets the pin.

 

In a graveyard, John Cena cuts a rapping promo on the Undertaker.

 

Backstage, the APA are passing out fliers for the first annual APA Bar-room Brawl at the PPV. They invite Spanky and Kanyon.

 

Kidman/Rey Mistero v. two masked men - I've never seen the two guys in masks and I don't think they got introduced. Very short match that ended with Kidman holding one of the masked men against the ropes for Rey to hit the 619. Kidman then hit his SSP for the win.

 

Once again, Vince joins us in the ring. He says he wants to recognize Sable, who is up in one of the box seats higher up in the arena. He, shockingly, insinuates that he's had sex with her. He then starts talking about Zack Gowen, who he refers to as a "sickening amputee." John Cena heads out and does a rap about how Vince is going to beat Gowen at the PPV, including the line "We've both got handicap matches it seems / I'm fighting a dead man and you're killing Christopher Reeves." Of course, Undertaker comes out to no-sell some Cena offense before laying him out with the big boot.

 

Rhyno v. Sean O'Haire - Nothing match that ends after less than a minute when the APA come out to give the two men flyers for the Bar-room Brawl. O'Haire ducks out and Rhyno gets beaten and left laying.

 

The Wrestlemania Recall for this week is Butterbean annihilating Bart Gunn at WM15. Nice choice.

 

Eddie Guerrero v. Billy Gunn - Second semi-final in the tournament. Billy Gunn throws some of the worst punches in the entire industry. Watch him smacking his fist into his hand against Eddie's head and you'll see what I mean. Eddie misses a frog splash. Noble runs in after Torrie and there's a ref bump. Eddie cracks Billy with a chair and gets the pin. That leaves him vs. Benoit in the finals, which shouldn't disappoint.

 

Back to Sable again, as Josh Matthews tries to interview her. Steph shows up dressed as a serving lady and pours wine on Sable. They fight in a big pile of food.

 

The Desire video (the one set to the Kid Rock song) is played. This got a better reaction than anything on the show besides the t-shirt shooting and the main event. The biggest pops were for Hogan and Bret Hart.

 

Kurt Angle vs. Big Show + Haas/Benjamin - Good, heated main event. They brawl outside the ring and eventually through the crowd. Once back in the ring, Angle nails them all with a trash can lid. They recover, but Zach Gowen runs out and tries to clean house before Big Show tosses him around. Angle makes the save and hits two Angle Slams and puts Hass in the ankle lock. Big Show breaks that up. Gowen hits a nice dive to the outside and Angle beats Big Show with the stairs. Great spot to finish, where Haas had Angle in the atomic drop position for Benjamin to hit the superkick, but Angle catches his foot and swings it around so that it hits Haas coming back around and Angle slaps the ankle lock on Benjamin for the finish. Angle and Gowen leave together.

 

 

 

Overall, not an actively bad show. I guess it would help if you're a huge McMahon fan. Might help sell some PPVs, too, as those two matches seem to be the ones they're pushing the most.

[Guest Human Fly]

I'm kind of surprised they didn't have Rhyno cost Benoit the match and then join Rhyno with Matt Hardy as was rumored a few months back. Hopefully Benoit and Eddie get around 20 minutes. But their match isn't enough to convince me to order this dog next Sunday.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

YES! NO GUNN US CHAMP!

 

WHOO!

[Guest Anglesault]

So, Kurt beats three people.

 

As an Angle fan, I can't complain. They FINALLY make him look like competant individual.

 

But...uhm, He basically beat the tag champs and number one contender by himself.

 

Er...

[Guest CanadianChick]

Oh, who was right? I told you all that the finals would be Eddie/Benoit, and no one believed me! So there!!!

 

[/gloating]

[Guest Anglesault]

And God help us all if it leads to a Gowan/Angle pairing.

 

Otherwise, fine.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

I never doubted you CC! Yes! Too bad I'm missing Vengeance for drum corps.

[Guest Anglesault]

And God help us all if it leads to a Gowan/Angle pairing.

 

Otherwise, fine.

[Guest HartFan86]

THANK GOD.

 

Billy Gunn lost.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

I knew they were being taped today, but damn, they're up already! O_o

 

 

Albert v. Orlando Jordan - Really short match that Albert won with a sloppy looking finisher.

 

Didn't I see this on SD last week?

 

In a graveyard, John Cena cuts a rapping promo on the Undertaker.

 

 

Backstage, the APA are passing out fliers for the first annual APA Bar-room Brawl at the PPV. They invite Spanky and Kanyon.

 

What the fuck is that? Yes, Kanyon finally makes his PPV return.

 

He, shockingly, insinuates that he's had sex with her.

 

That's the kind of stuff that NEEDS to be censored.

 

We've both got handicap matches it seems / I'm fighting a dead man and you're killing Christopher Reeves."

 

LMAO, ah yes, proud to be a Cena fan here.

 

The Wrestlemania Recall for this week is Butterbean annihilating Bart Gunn at WM15.

 

Unfortunately, this was the greatest moment in Bart Gunn's career.

 

Benoit hits the Crossface coming down and gets the win to advance.

 

I'm both happy and sad at the same time since I liked them. I hope the match turns out to be awesome on TV.

 

Eddie cracks Billy with a chair and gets the pin. That leaves him vs. Benoit in the finals, which shouldn't disappoint.

 

YES!!!! THANK YOU WWE!!!!

 

Kurt Angle vs. Big Show + Haas/Benjamin

 

What's it going to be next week? Brock Lesnar AND Kurt Angle Vs. Big Show / Benjamin / Haas?

 

I'm kind of surprised they didn't have Rhyno cost Benoit the match and then join Rhyno with Matt Hardy as was rumored a few months back. Hopefully Benoit and Eddie get around 20 minutes. But their match isn't enough to convince me to order this dog next Sunday.

 

Yeah, I'm surprised there were no run-ins from Rhyno or Tajiri, which was a good thing. I'm hoping Benoit / Guerrero proves to be the best match on the card. May the best man win because they both deserve it.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

I'm kind of surprised they didn't have Rhyno cost Benoit the match and then join Rhyno with Matt Hardy as was rumored a few months back.

It's because the Rhyno turn will happen at the PPV, like I said last week.

 

As for Rhyno joining Matt, that's a old, dead rumor.

[Guest HartFan86]

Great to see they are making good use of O'Haire and Rhyno.

 

Ugh.

[Guest Choken One]

Good Card as There is *NOTHING* too bitch about...

[Guest CanadianChick]

Rhyno will turn on Benoit at the PPV...and Eddie will win the title, his first feud being with Tajiri. Wasn't that exactly what I said yesterday, where everybody was so sure Billy Gunn would win? Sorry, I'll stop gloating....soon.

[Guest Choken One]

However...

 

I am Curious about the Bar Room Brawl...

 

It's a interesting way to get people on the show without having actual MATCHES...

 

I would mark if they had a bunch of brawling going on and you see Funaki getting hammer stripping...

 

and SOH stands in the middle of the Brawl giving a promo about the good that Intoxication can bring...

[Guest Anglesault]

Great to see they are making good use of O'Haire and Rhyno.

 

Ugh.

The only good way to use O'Haire is as a janitor.

[Guest Choken One]

^ Better then being a Closet Homosexual Gold Medalist.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

Why was SD! taped today?

[Guest Nevermortal]

Eddie v. Benoit, Kidman/Rey v. Haas/Benjamin, the Bar Room Brawl, and the three way make this a buy.

 

I'm a sucker for mindless violence. Good call on the 'Bar Room Brawl', WWE. The only way you could fuck this up is if you make it a Redneck Triathalon type dealie.

[Guest Nevermortal]

Why was SD! taped today?

Far East tour on Thursday-Saturday, I think.

[Guest CanadianChick]

Why was SD! taped today?

I think the Smackdown brand is going overseas.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

Why was SD! taped today?

We already covered this.

[Guest Choken One]

Eddie v. Benoit, Kidman/Rey v. Haas/Benjamin, the Bar Room Brawl, and the three way make this a buy.

 

I'm a sucker for mindless violence. Good call on the 'Bar Room Brawl', WWE. The only way you could fuck this up is if you make it a Redneck Triathalon type dealie.

My only concern is...

 

Will this be in an Actual Bar or is this just a cute named Battle Royal?

[ANKLELOCK 0]

EDDIE~! vs BENOIT~!= GREAT MATCH~!!!!!

 

This Smackdown actually looks pretty good.

Matt vs Benoit

 

Kurt vs Haas/Benjamin/Show

 

Eddie BEATING Gunn

 

Im watching it.

[Guest Hogan Made Wrestling]

Why was SD! taped today?

Smackdown is doing a tour of Southeast Asia and Japan.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

Why was SD! taped today?

We already covered this.

Ok....so? I didn't see that thread. I saw this one and I asked a question in it. Don't link me to a thread that holds no relevance now. Because my questions already been answered.

[Guest Choken One]

Amazing...Last week Vengence looked like it would suck the ass of the corpse of Bertha Faye...and now it looks GREAT...

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Eddy vs. Benoit? OHMYGAWDOHMYGAWDOHMYGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!

 

YESSSSSSSSSS!

 

And the Bar-Room Brawl could actually be fun if they do it right.

[Guest Nevermortal]

Eddie v. Benoit, Kidman/Rey v. Haas/Benjamin, the Bar Room Brawl, and the three way make this a buy.

 

I'm a sucker for mindless violence. Good call on the 'Bar Room Brawl', WWE. The only way you could fuck this up is if you make it a Redneck Triathalon type dealie.

My only concern is...

 

Will this be in an Actual Bar or is this just a cute named Battle Royal?

I'd like for it to be reminiscent of the WMXIII street fight, which, in my opinion, was the second best match of that card.

 

It was such a great & underrated brawl.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

If they have an actual bar set up for the "Bar Room Brawl", I wonder if Coors is going to get in on it somehow.

 

Bradshaw: what the hell is this, Coors light?

Ron: Damn!

*Big Fight ensues*