PROMO - Raise Your Hands

[Guest Evolution]

Fade in on the front of a hotel room door. The room number can be clearly seen in shiny gold: 193. A slight knock can be heard from a door, supposedly from the man behind the camera, the one and only Gus. Only moments later, the door swings open to reveal the face of John Duran. His jet-black hair slightly hangs over his eyes, and he's looking prime for a bit of a haircut. He has a smile on his face as he pushes the door open the rest of the way.

 

Duran: "Good, I'm glad you decided to show up! Come in, please."

 

Duran leads the cameraman into the hotel room and closes the door behind him, going over to the kitchen counter and grabbing a small brown box slightly bigger than a football, showing it to the camera.

 

Duran: "See this? Came for me today. From a..."

 

"The Sinner" pauses, failing to remember the sender's name, looking down and reading it off the box.

 

Duran: "Roxanne Howe. Doesn't really ring a bell to me, but let's see what's in the package."

 

Duran sets the package back on the counter and opens it, seemingly uncharacteristically upbeat and happy today, digging through the package and pulling out a small black box with a piece of paper tied to it with a rubber band.

 

Duran: "Hmm. Looks like a video. Let's see."

 

John slides the rubber band off the video box and takes the note, unfolding it and reading it aloud.

 

Duran: "'I've been watching your work, and I decided to make a compilation tape of all your best matches from the JL. Sincerely, Roxanne.' Wow, that was nice of her. You know, I think she can go to hell, but I'm glad she decided to make me something I can profit off of before she does burn."

 

Duran opens the box and takes the tape out, going over to the TV/VCR combo in his room.

 

Duran: "This is great. I want you to capture all of this on tape!"

 

Duran presses play on the VCR and pulls a chair over from the desk in the room, sitting down and watching carefully.

 

Duran: "Here's hoping there isn't a music video of 'The Ballad of Johnny Stardust' at the end of this thing."

 

Time progresses as different images pass by on the TV. From John's debut victory over Aaron Carpenter...

 

King: Come on, you little runt, tap!

 

Aaron is grimacing in pain, and just when it seems he might be trying to reverse the move somehow, Duran leans back and puts the pressure on, which makes Carpenter scream out in a surprise shock of pain. Sexton Hardcastle leans in, asking Aaron if he gives up, and after 5 more seconds of Aaron squirming around in the submission hold, Aaron finally waves his hand, at which point Sexton calls for the bell!

 

Funyon: The winner, by submission, John Duran!

 

...to his TV Title win over Quiet Death and "The Dark Rebel" Terry Wayne...

 

John locks Terry in the Break Point, Quiet Death still out on the outside of the ring. The crowd gets behind Terry, begging him to find a way out of it. John locks it on tighter, and Anthony Michael Hall moves in, asking Terry if he gives. Terry shakes his head no, and John puts the move on as hard as he possibly can, seemingly crushing Terry with the force of the move.

 

Axis: "Terry is hanging on for dear life!"

 

King: "He can't take much more, though!"

 

Quiet Death is getting to his feet, shaking the cobwebs out of his bald head as Hall once again asks Terry if he gives. Terry doesn't give a response for a long moment, and then finally shakes his head. The crowd boos as Hall goes over and tells the timekeeper to ring the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Funyon: "Here is your winner, and NEW SJL Television Champion, JOHN DURANNNNNNNNNNN!"

 

...and his--

 

Duran: "Wait, where's my match where I won the #1 contendership to the European Title? Hmm, Roxy must've left it off the tape. That's a shame. Truly a poetic match, that was."

 

Duran has a laugh as the tape continues, showing highlights of the European Title match that resulted against Christian Blackwell...

 

Axis: "No, not this way, no!"

 

Duran stands up with Blackwell mounted on his shoulder, fire running through his eyes as he lifts Blackwell up and slams him down to the mat, Blackwell bouncing up slightly before coming to a rest.

 

King: "RISE AND FALL! NEW CHAMPION, NEW CHAMPION!"

 

Axis: "He hasn't even pinned him yet!"

 

Duran goes for the cover now, and the crowd can only watch as Kivell swings around for the cover.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

King: "Yes! Yes!"

 

"Sinner" by Drowning Pool blares again as Kivell raises the hand of Duran, Duran halfway shocked he won the match.

 

Funyon: "Here is your winner and NEW SJL EUROPEAN CHAMPION...JOHN DURANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

 

King: "He's got a belt again! Yes, yes!"

 

...the tape moves along to SJL Wrathapalooza, a show where many things changed. For one, John Duran discovered his hardcore side...

 

Axis: "...NO! He can't be..."

 

King: "He is! He's going to do it!"

 

Spike's body is slightly lifted off the ladder as Duran steps up a rung before tossing Spike up into the air and catching him, keeping Spike steady. "Hollywood" almost slides off Duran's shoulders, but "The Sinner" keeps him steady, lifting his torso up parallel to the ground before leaping off the ladder, kicking it out from under him as the ladder goes falling to the ground, along with Duran and Spike.

 

CRUNCH!

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

The crowd explodes into cheers and immediately starts a chant of "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" as Duran nails the Ultimate Sin on Spike through the barbed wire and the table.

 

Axis: "OH MY GOD!"

 

King: "IT'S ALL OVER! SPIKE IS DEAD! SPIKE IS DEAD!"

 

Duran stretches his legs out, covering Spike's shoulders as Van Siclen falls to the mat to count the pinfall.

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

"Sinner" cues up, and the crowd is stunned into shock from that last move. Van Siclen raises the arm of Duran, but John does not raise himself.

 

Funyon: "Here is your winner via pinfall, JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

 

...and then, there was the SJL Title Match...

 

“WHAT THE HELL!?” begins Suicide King, as the camera pans back to the field…to see DOMINIC KORGATH swinging his iron staff…RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF CROW!

 

*THWACK*

 

The Antichrist Superstar slumps to the ground, as the other three men turn around to see what just happened!

 

**DOUBLE BOOM!!!!!!!~!**

 

As Va’aiga and Aecas try to advance at Korgath, they’re blindsided as ENGLISH DRAGON and SCOTT SOLOMON slam Va’aiga and Aecas in the side of the head, respectively, using CINDER BLOCKS!!

 

“Holy Shit!”

 

”Holy Shit!”

 

Va’aiga and Aecas simply crumple to the ground from the explosion of the cinder blocks against their heads. Grappler is now fully aware of what’s going on, but as he drops his belt and clenches his fists, ready to fight, the three men surround him, slowly inching closer. The crowd begins a loud “Grappler!” chant, and without further ado…

 

“He’s cornered, three-on-one!” says Suicide King, gleefully, “There is NO WAY he can fight these odds!”

 

“But,” shoots in Axis, “WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!”

 

With cat-like quickness, Matthews charges forward, sending a stinging right cross into the face of English Dragon, taking him down! Solomon runs at him but eats a back fist, and Korgath is hit with a kick to the midsection. The buzz in the Metrodome grows louder, as Grappler turns around…

 

*BOOM*

 

…into a sledgehammer swing to the face, dropping him to the field, out cold. The other three men rise to their feet and gather around the fallen Grappler, as the man with the sledgehammer makes his face visible to the camera for the first time.

 

 

 

 

JOHN DURAN.

 

 

 

“Oh my God,” begins Axis, “…this can’t be.”

 

 

The Sinner stares down at the fallen Champion, no emotion in his eyes. The four men gather, surveying the damage they’ve done.

 

“What is the purpose,” continues Axis, “of this onslaught?! What do these four men have in common?!”

 

“Who cares?” asks Suicide King, “look at the carnage they’ve caused! They just took out two top SJL superstars, not to mention two SWF wrestlers! These guys are a force to be reckoned with!”

 

The fifty five thousand Minneapolis fans begin throwing garbage onto the field, trying to hit any of the four superstars with full cups, food, and balls.

 

“Well, whoever they are,” says Axis, “it’s a shame they had to put a damper on quite possibly the most fun, entertaining SJL show of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, Wrathapalooza II was full of fun, surprises, twists, and unique wrestling. Thank you all for letting us into your living rooms. For Suicide King, I’m Axis, good night. DAMN YOU, John Duran.”

 

Solomon, Dragon, Korgath, and the Sinner begin walking to the back, but John Duran turns around one more time, mouthing two words to Grappler, Aecas, and everyone watching Wrathapalooza around the world.

 

URBAN

 

 

DECAY

 

...as the scene from the Metrodome fades, the tape cuts to Duran's defining moment in the JL...

 

Ejiro: “BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA! IT’S OVER!”

 

Annie: “Fight out of it, Aecas!”

 

Sure enough, Aecas is doing his best to stop this move, but Duran will have none of it, swinging Aecas’ body around and dropping down flat to the mat, sending Aecas down with him with the Blunt Force Trauma as Aecas’ head bounces off the shoulder blade of Duran. The crowd seems to very much dislike this turn of events as Duran almost seems cocky in his cover, not refusing to hook the leg, however as Kivell counts.

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!

 

Ejiro: “YES! YES YES YES YES!”

 

Kivell pops to his feet and calls for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“Sinner” blares throughout the arena as the crowd seems bummed out.

 

Ejiro: “We’ve got a new champion! New champion!”

 

Annie: “No! What happened?”

 

Kivell receives the belt from Funyon as Kivell goes over to Duran to hand it to him.

 

Funyon: “Here is your winner, and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW ESS-JAY-EL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD, JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”

 

Streamers and balloons fall from the sky, and the crowd can’t believe this celebration as Aecas is still out on the mat from the Blunt Force Trauma, the fans immediately popping the balloons in disgust as soon as possible.

 

Annie: “Raynor must have paid for this. Damn him. And damn John Duran!”

 

Finally, the tape fades to black. Duran sits in the chair, looking to set the Guinness world record for biggest grin.

 

Duran: "That was certainly a great tape, don't you think, Gus?"

 

Duran goes to get up from the chair and send Gus on his merry little way, but he's stopped when he and the camera notice two words appear on the TV:

 

"And now..."

 

Those big white words fade out and they are replaced with an image that seems all too familiar.

 

Axis: "This could be it...this could be..."

 

Turner then falls back, tossing Cutthroat over his head as Cutthroat crashes into the mat, and the fans go absolutely nuts, some breaking out into chants of "HOLY SHIT!"

 

Axis: "It is! The Victimizer!"

 

Edwin: "That has got to be it for Cutthroat! This match has got to be over with!"

 

Turner crawls, rather slowly, over to the body of Cutthroat, which doesn't seem to be doing much at all. Turner hooks the leg for a pin, as Hall slides down to make the pin.

 

Hall: ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

 

:: DING DING DING ::

 

The fans act like Homer Simpson without TV and beer, and go crazy as Turner, in shock himself that he somehow managed to win that match, gets his hand raised by Anthony Michael Hall as Turner tries to gather himself on the ground, battered and taken to the limit by the gutsy Cutthroat.

 

Funyon: "Here is your winner via pinfall, RRRRRANDY TUR-NERRRR!"

 

Duran's smile fades, and turns into an angry grimace. He gets up out of his chair, almost slamming the STOP button in half with his fist as the screen goes black.

 

Duran: "...get the hell out..."

 

Gus is already backing away from Duran, but not fast enough for "The Sinner."

 

Duran: "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

 

Duran approaches Gus and pushes him towards the door, opening it for Gus and shoving him out. The camera remains on Duran's face, and he slams the door in disgust, blocking the view of the former Urban Decay leader.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

It is now after SWF Storm from Salt Lake City, and Gus is roaming the halls with Ben Hardy, looking for a possible post-show interview with one of the many SWF superstars. Unfortunately for Hardy and Gus...they run into John Duran, the newest addition to the SWF roster.

 

Duran: "Well, well, well. Just who I was looking for."

 

Hardy backs up, almost a reflex from being tossed around ever since taking the job in the SWF/SJL from numerous wrestlers.

 

Duran: "No need to be afraid. I've just had something on my mind for a while. I'd like to capture my comments on video. I think my opponents for the tournament should take notice of what I have to say."

 

Hardy looks at the camera, and reluctantly agrees.

 

Hardy: "Okay, we can do that."

 

Duran: "We? There is no we, Benny. You see, I don't want to be interviewed, I don't want you around. Call it a video diary if you must. I just want something a little bit more personal. Don't worry, all your equipment will be safe, I'm just driving to the hotel. Consider it a free ride for you, Gus. Now, let's go."

 

The scene cuts suddenly, and we're transported to John Duran's SUV, rented from the local Hertz rent-a-car dealership. Gus is in the passenger side, camera focused on "The Sinner," as John turns to face the camera for a quick moment.

 

Duran: "We on?"

 

Gus: "Yep."

 

Duran: "Good."

 

There's a slight silent pause, with no radio station playing in the background, rain pitter-pattering on the roof of the SUV.

 

Duran: "I've been thinking ever since that supposed 'fan' sent me the compilation video of me. I'm wondering what the people are thinking. What the fans are thinking."

 

Duran pauses to gather his thoughts quickly, continuing.

 

Duran: "You know the difference between Randy Turner and myself? He was more talented than me. I'll concede that. That's why everyone was telling him that he was the best. That's why he almost won the gold medal at the Olympics. He had it all in his hands. But do you want to know what he did?"

 

Duran's face tenses up, seeming to show signs of anger but working through it, flicking the small stick to his left down to signify a left turn.

 

Duran: "He threw it all away. He didn't have confidence in himself. He pissed away his chance to be a superstar, and he went to Mexico to become 'better.' There was no way for him to be better, he was good as is. But he didn't have confidence in himself, and he worked his ass off to become better. Unfortunately, things got too hot for him. A couple of one hundred degree days in an un air-conditioned arena will do that to you. And when you don't get around to drinking much water, it hurts, you know? That's how he died, you know. Heat exhaustion. Just like that football player. The heat was too much, and as the old saying goes, he didn't get out of the oven."

 

Duran begins to shake his head from side to side to set up his next statement.

 

Duran: "I'd never do that to myself. You see, Gus, I have talent, and I know it. I have confidence in myself. I know I'm the best. And you know what? I'm here in the SWF. A place Randy Turner dreamed to be, and his best friend beat him there. Ironic, huh?"

 

A slight grin peeks out from the right side of Duran's face, but he continues in a serious tone.

 

Duran: "Do you know what really bugs me about Randy, though? I go on the Internet from time to time, I read the magazines, and when the time comes for the anniversary of Randy's death, they ALWAYS say the same thing. 'He could've been great. He was a future world champion.' He's DEAD. He's long gone, and they can't accept it. You see, I wanted to reach the top for Randy. But when I realized that no one recognized me, that they considered a DEAD man to have more talent than me? That all went away."

 

The grin has long since faded from Duran's slightly tanned face, as the SUV rolls to a stop at the red light.

 

Duran: "I won every title there was for me to win in the SJL! Television, European, World! I ran that bitch Charlie Matthews out, I formed a dominant stable in Urban Decay...and yet Randy is better than me?"

 

Duran looks up for a moment at the roof of the car, trying to keep his composure.

 

Duran: "BULLSHIT!"

 

The light turns green and Duran slams on the accelerator, the tires squealing as Duran speeds forward towards the hotel.

 

Duran: "FUCK RANDY! That's right, I said it. Fuck him! Even in death, he's stealing the spotlight from me, just like he did in college. He's too much of a god damn burden. Now, I've shed the burden from my shoulders. And it got me a lot further than when I had him on my mind, when I was dedicating my matches in his honor. It's a shame he died, but damnit, that doesn't change that he's dead!"

 

The next traffic light turns yellow, and Duran, unlikely to make it past the light, slams his foot down on the brake, sending the camera (and likely the cameraman) slamming forward.

 

Duran: "I'm not only going to prove that I'm the best, I'm going to prove that I'm better than Randy Turner EVER could be. He's my friend, but he won't step aside. Even as he's laying down, dead and cold, rotting in the ground, he's standing in my way. I'm undefeated in the SWF, and this tournament won't change anything. Do any of you watching this think that anything will stop now that I'm in the SWF? That I won't win anymore?"

 

...The light turns green, and Duran speeds off again.

 

Duran: "Wrong. NOTHING STOPS! Whoever the SWF Champion is by the time Genesis rolls around, they better be ready. It's time for me to prove myself to the world, to prove that I am better than a deadman."

 

Duran does bring one thing to a stop, however. The SUV moves over to the side of the road, and Duran comes to a stop.

 

Duran: "Now get out."

 

Gus (off-camera): "But this isn't near the hotel!"

 

Duran looks out the rain-streaked window.

 

Duran: "Sure enough. That's tough, though. End of the line."

 

Gus takes a little bit too long to get out of the car for Duran's liking.

 

Duran: "Are you deaf? Get out!"

 

The scene cuts again, now to John Duran speeding away in the black SUV, the rain still pouring down in the middle of Salt Lake City, as Gus speaks again, off-camera.

 

Gus: "...What am I going to do now?"

 

END.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Duran: "Wrong. NOTHING STOPS! Whoever the SWF Champion is by the time Genesis rolls around, they better be ready. It's time for me to prove myself to the world, to prove that I am better than a deadman."

 

Duran does bring one thing to a stop, however. The SUV moves over to the side of the road, and Duran comes to a stop.

 

Duran: "Now get out."

 

Gus (off-camera): "But this isn't near the hotel!"

 

Duran looks out the rain-streaked window.

 

Duran: "Sure enough. That's tough, though. End of the line."

 

Gus takes a little bit too long to get out of the car for Duran's liking.

 

Duran: "Are you deaf? Get out!"

 

The scene cuts again, now to John Duran speeding away in the black SUV, the rain still pouring down in the middle of Salt Lake City, as Gus speaks again, off-camera.

 

Gus: "...What am I going to do now?"

 

END.

 

Yeeeeeeeah, that's kind of EXACTLY what I was looking for. Very nice stuff, Duran. The clipfest does a quick pick-up for those of us out of the loop on Duran's creds, and the RANDY TURNER REFERENCE (god, it's such a shame he never got a chance to grow further) brings the wayback juice for people with good memories. The spot I quoted is my favorite part--there's Duran in a nutshell, with a motivation, a plan of action, and a goal. Cool, cool, cool stuff.

[Guest Korgath]

It's times like these that I'm reminded what a shame it is that the WWE doesn't recognise the OVW victories some of their younger stars have accomplished.

 

Two of OVW's greatest, Damaja and Machine, have been turned into Wrestlecrap without a second thought.

 

Thankfully, that's not happening here.

 

Recognise, SWF. You just heralded a new era when you bumped Duran.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

Another n00b to be put in his place.

[Ace309 0]

Well, can't bitch too much about that.

 

I'm not a fan of clip promos, but this one did its job introducing the WFers to the John Duran character, and I, too, marked for the Randy Turner reference. It felt a little MST3Kish, though. I'm not sure how I would have fixed that, but it read weird.