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Mystery Eskimo

Smarkdown losers

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As I said elsewhere, I have zero problems losing as Judge's match was great. I have my own criticisms of my match but if anyone has the time to read and comment I'd appreciate it.



We come back from our SWF-orientated commercials (booze, women, firearms) to take in the sold out crowd. Fans are packed into every nook and cranny of the Sioux Falls Arena as thousands of excited men and (a few) women eagerly await the resumption of the Genesis tournament. A strange noise gradually fades in, becoming more discernible over the crowd buzz…




Bobby Riley: Aww, c’mon, again?




Riley: I really hate my job.






Comet: I am most disappointed, Citizen Riley. You should not mock a hero’s call so.


Riley: You mean I can’t yell my name like a demented moose?


Comet: Indeed not. Such a cry is reserved for those pure of heart and mind.


Riley: I’ve seen those magazines in your locker, CC, you’re far from pure of anything…


Comet: Ahahahahaha! You jest merrily, Citizen! Ahahahahaha!


Riley: When you’re done with the least sincere laughter I’ve ever heard- we have another tournament match.


Comet: Ahaha- Indeed. We have two men of undoubted skill who unfortunately choose to use their abilities for EVIL~!


Riley: I’ll call things properly, shall I? William “The Judge” Hearford, having fallen to Annie Eclectic in the first round of matches last week, takes on SJL member English Dragon, who was defeated by Nathan Kibagami on the same show.


Comet: Citizen Hearford is a veteran of the squared circle and will have experience on his side. Mr Dragon put in an impressive performance despite losing to Citizen Kibagami, but he will have his work cut out for him here. Citizen FUNYON~!, your assistance, please!


FUNYON: Ladies and Gentleman, the following contest is a loser’s bracket match in the SWF Title Tournament, and is set for one fall…


The arena lights dim, and sharp red lights glow across the crowd. Drumbeats are heard, menacingly increasing in volume, getting louder and louder until-




Rage Against The Machine’s “Testify” slams out fiercely, as three red blasts of pyro explode across the entrance way. “The Judge” appears, drawing a hugely hostile reaction from the audience. Hearford stalks to the ring confidently.


FUNYON: Introducing first, from Royal Oak, Michigan, weighing 242lbs, “The Judge”, William HEEEEARRRFOOOOOOORD!


The veteran grappler steps to the apron and ducks quickly under the top rope into the ring. Judge Mental, a small smile on his face, leans back in the nearest corner. Wearing black tights embossed in red with his name, Judge does not even deign to face the entrance as his music cuts out.


Comet: The Judge looks confident and ready for his opponent. I hope we shall get a fair and gentlemanly effort from Citizen Hearford.

Riley: I hope we shall get a wrestling match, not a diplomatic convention.


The arena lights come back up as “Land of Hope and Glory” swells into the arena. Its majestic sounds induce very little response from the SWF fans, and the English Dragon steps out into virtual silence, a very different environment from the hatred he receives on a regular basis from SJL crowds.


FUNYON: Aaaaaaaaand his opponent….from London, England, weighting 223lbs, he is the SJL European Champion, the English DRAAAAAAAAGOOOOOON!


With his title belt strapped firmly around his waist and his huge butler, Robertson, a few steps behind. Dragon walks quickly to the ring. Clad in a golden mask and white trunks, the Englishman also wears a red jacket zipped up to the neck. Dragon stops at ringside and eyes Judge, still facing away from him in the ring.


The SJLer walks over to the commentary table, removing his jacket as he does so. The SWF crowd react to Dragon for the first time as they see what’s beneath the jacket- a T-shirt with a picture of commentator Bobby Riley and the caption “Living Legend”! Dragon walks over and shakes hands with Riley, before taking off the shirt and handing it to Robertson.


Dragon climbs onto the apron and wipes his black boots before stepping into the ring and waving to the crowd, who, incensed by his sucking up to Riley, boo him.


Riley: Hey, what a great guy!

Comet: Are you really going to be fooled by such cheap trickery?

Riley: You’re just jealous because the Cyclone Comet T-shirts are gathering dust in the warehouse.

Comet: I fear Citizen Dragon has got his priorities wrong. The Judge will not be impressed by merchandise.


In the ring, referee Sexton Hardcastle beckons Hearford out of the corner. Judge Mental comes, still smiling, and shakes his head as his takes in his opponent for the first time. Sexton stands between the two men and explains the rules briefly, as Judge and Dragon stare a hole in each other.


Comet: Judge Mental has been enjoying a role as commentator on SJL shows recently, so he will be fully aware of what the English Dragon can do. And from the look on his face, he hasn’t seen anything to worry him.

Riley: He should be worried! Dragon has a title and a great record in the SJL. He’s a superior athlete.

Comet: Have you even seen one of his matches?

Riley: I don’t need to see any matches, I saw his shirt!


Sexton steps back, and signals to the time keeper at ringside.




Dragon extends a hand to the Judge, who slaps it away. Dragon reaches out again, and Hearford shakes his head in amusement. Dragon shrugs and turns away…before twisting back around and throwing a forearm at the Judge! Hearford blocks it however, and staggers Dragon with a hard blow to his chest. Judge grabs the left arm of his opponent and whips him to the ropes.


Dragon bounces back, flying straight at Mental, but the Judge stands his ground and drives his right shoulder into the chest of the Londoner. The impact slams Dragon onto his back.


Comet: It is a shame that Citizen Dragon tried to attack unfairly as soon as the match began. Clearly the Judge is, sadly, all too aware of such tactics and was expecting them.

Riley: Dragon was just excited, he wanted to get into it- it’s not his fault Hearford wouldn’t shake.

Comet: Are you really going to be bought by a T-shirt?

Riley: I’ve sold myself for far less, baby!


Judge steps away from Dragon and beckons him up. The Englishman obliges, rubbing at his chest. Dragon steps back and wrings out his wrists, rolls out his shoulders and goes into a ready stance. Mental smiles again, and the two men begin to circle each other.


Our competitors make a full revolution of the squared circle, gradually inching closer together. At last they lunge at each other, arms outstretched, each looking to grab their opponent into a hold for the first advantage of the match. Dragon and Judge go into a collar and elbow tie up, but the lock up is brief as EngDrag, perhaps surprisingly, gains the advantage. The SJLer gets his left arm around Judge’s head and wraps it around tightly, linking his hands across Mental’s ear with a side headlock.


Hearford shows his experience and composure, however, as he grips Dragon around the waist with both arms and just swings him up and around, hurling him over to the mat onto his side.


Comet: An amateur style throw from the Judge. I don’t like the man’s EVIL methods, but there’s no doubting his technical expertise.

Riley: We’ll see what Dragon has against the big boys. He’s beaten a lot of SJL guys- this is an early chance to prove himself. He doesn’t want to lose both his matches in this tourney and go home early. But likewise, Judge won’t want to be the one who slips up against a guy everyone expects him to beat.


Dragon is up into a crouch and looks at Judge Mental, who nods his head, and beckons Dragon on again. Dragon springs to his feet and advances on Judge, who is ready, and they go into a second tie up.


This time it’s Judge who turns out of it and grabs Dragon round the head and neck, his opponent straight in front of him. Judge slaps at Dragon’s back in an insultingly gesture, and is surprised as Dragon gets his right arm under Judge’s own limb. EngDrag spins around and grabs a hold of the arm, snapping it around so that Judge is flipped over head first and lands on his behind on the canvas!


Judge scoots back to his feet, a vicious look on his face, as Dragon takes his turn to nod and roll his shoulders. The SJLer takes things a little too far as he first waves to the crowd, and then to his opponent. Mental charges forward and just SLAMS his body into Dragon’s, tackling him back into the corner. Hearford starts to pummel Dragon with forearm shots to the head, chest and midsection. The Londoner attempts to cover up but absorbs most of the barrage.


Comet: Citizen Hearford seems most perturbed by the opening exchanges.

Riley: Judge expected to be able to control the whole match. Dragon flipping him onto his ass probably wasn’t in the game plan.


The crowd, reluctant to cheer for the Judge, merely makes approving noises as he continues his brutal assault. At last, Sexton Hardcastle intervenes, pushing Judge away. Hearford reluctantly steps back and waves mockingly at Dragon, who is feeling his jaw.


The Englishman is about to move out of the corner when Judge pushes Sexton aside and rushes back at Dragon. The Englishman is ready, and, lifting his left arm, drives his elbow back, connecting with Mental’s chin with a SNAP. Hearford falls back and away, and Dragon gets behind him, snaking his arms around his opponent’s waist and linking his hands.


Judge grips at Dragon’s fingers, trying to pry him loose, but the Englishman bends, arching his back and applying pressure. Hearford changes his approach and attempts to grab at EngDrag’s head, but he’s out of reach. The Londoner appears content to keep the waistlock in all night, but Judge Mental tries to break again by running forward quickly. Dragon is pulled after him until they reach the ropes. Judge grabs the top firmly and the change in momentum causes Dragon to slam into the big back of Hearford. EngDrag bounces away, but rolls up to his feet.


Comet: So far, so good. I am satisfied with the level of illegal activity in this match, Citizen Riley.

Riley: Shut up, you spandex sissy. Yo, Robertson, get me a drink!


The huge butler appears not to hear Riley, his attention wholly on the action in the ring. Dragon runs forward, looking to re-apply the waistlock, but Judge spins to face his opponent and drives his right boot forward, square into the gut on the Londoner. With Dragon doubled up, Hearford grabs him into a headlock and throws Dragon’s left arm over his shoulder. Mental turns around, and takes a grip on the top of EngDrag’s tights before pulling him quickly up and over, slapping his back onto the mat with a quick snap suplex.


Dragon holds his back briefly as Hearford brings him to his feet with a grip on the mask. Judge measures his opponent up, and then drives the edge of his right hand HARD into Dragon’s chest. Again, Judge looses a pec splattering chop into Dragon, who falls down to one knee, a hand on his chest.


Comet: Citizen Hearford is a strong man, and appears to be over-powering the Dragon, who relies more on speed.

Riley: Brilliantly insightful as ever, you idiot. Of course Hearford is stronger- he’s taller and heavier.


Dragon gets back to both feet but Judge pulls his hand back a third time and CRACKS another stiff chop that leaves Dragon clutching at his chest with both hands. Mental grabs the arm of Dragon away from his body and uses it to whip him off the ropes. Dragon bounces and returns, but is not in control of his motion and is helpless to prevent himself running straight into the arms of his opponent.


Judge gets his right arm between Dragon’s legs as he rushes in and lifts him into the air. Hearford spins around 180 degrees, using his left arm to support Dragon’s body weight, and plants Dragon hard onto the mat with a powerslam. Hearford keeps his chest pressed to Dragon and hooks a leg for the first cover of the match:















The Englishman breaks the cover and endeavours to turn away from Judge, but Hearford just SLAPS him across the head and pulls him to his feet. Mental again sends Dragon to the ropes, and this time as EngDrag returns aims a fizzing lariat at the Londoner’s throat.


Dragon has the presence of mind to duck however, and continues past Hearford to the other side of the ring. Dragon springs off the ropes and as he returns jumps forwards through the air, extending his right arm, bent at the elbow. The Judge, having been unbalanced by his missed lariat, is only just turning, and Dragon’s elbow connects hard with his forehead!


The impact knocks Judge on his back down to the mat, but EngDrag ignores the possibility of a cover and instead starts kicking at the left leg of his opponent. Three times Dragon drives the point of his boot into the knee joint of the Judge, who grimaces in pain and scrambles to get up.


Comet: I believe Citizen Dragon utilises the figure four leglock as one of his victory moves. Clearly, Mr. Hearford knows this too and will want to protect his legs.

Riley: My God, did you just say something intelligent? No, wait, it was just blindingly obvious. Why don’t you just let me call the match, as you hate these guys so much anyway?

Comet: I hate no man, Citizen Riley. I have only sorrow and pity for those who fail to see the love, light and beauty of life.

Riley: Shut the hell up, Super Hippy.


In the ring, Dragon is still attempting to kick at Judge, but Hearford has got to his feet and kicks back at Dragon! Mental powers his foot into Dragon’s left hamstring and the Englishman howls in pain. Judge CRACKS another kick into Dragon’s leg, before moving in, grabbing it with both arms and bending it at the knee. Judge uses his power to lift Dragon up into the air by the leg, before twisting, bending to one knee and dropping Dragon down so his shin is driven into Hearford’s outstretched leg.


The SJL competitor falls to the mat on his back, holding his leg, as his SWF opponent stands over him. Judge takes a grip on both legs of Dragon and grins into the face of his opponent. Hearford steps in with his left leg and hooks Dragon’s corresponding limb around it. Judge spins around and before Dragon can react has dropped back and locked in a figure four leglock!


Comet: Citizen Hearford using English Dragon’s own signature move against him. What trauma this must be! If only he were more like a superhero, he might escape.

Riley: He’s English, they don’t have superheroes.

Comet: What about…er…Sherlock Holmes?

Riley: He didn’t have super powers.

Comet: He had a funny hat!

Riley: Enough….for my sanity’s sake, enough!


Dragon throws back in pain and frustration as Judge cinches in the hold. Hearford jaws at Dragon, mocking his opponent, and follows up the verbal abuse by leaning forward and SLAPPING Dragon again hard across the temple. The stiff blow draws a reaction from a crowd that has been largely quiet, indifferent over the result of a match featuring no one they are inclined to cheer for. Dragon shakes his head free of the blow and tries to escape, looking to turn the hold over.


Hearford uses his extra weight and strength to hold in place, however, and Dragon can’t move him. The Londoner instead drops back and tries to reach for the ropes, using his elbows to drag himself backwards. Hearford keeps the hold on and wrenches it back, but Dragon is able to slowly move back and grab the bottom rope.


Sexton Hardcastle counts it, and forces Hearford to break, threatening him with a disqualification to ensure his obedience. Judge gets up and backs off, but as soon as Dragon has pulled himself up, putting his weight carefully on the left leg, he moves back in for the kill.


Dragon is ready for him, however, and Judge is met by a European uppercut to the jaw! Dragon unleashes another uppercut, and Hearford appears to be staggered. EngDrag kicks his opponent in his midriff and grabs him around the head with his right arm. The Dragon throws his opponent’s arm over his left shoulder and grasps the top of Hearford’s trunks, before twisting to face the ropes.


Comet: We’re some way into this match now, and Dragon is hanging in there, which is impressive for an inexperienced competitor.

Riley: He’s more than “hanging in there”- check this move out!


It’s a big effort, but the SJL European Champion manages to hoist his opponent into the air, holding him up in a vertical suplex position. Instead of dropping back however, Dragon slowly lets Judge’s body fall forwards so that his legs land on the top rope. The rope provides a bounce, and Dragon uses it to swing Judge back up, and, taking a step backwards, he drops Hearford vertically down onto his head!


Riley: Slingshot brainbuster! The slingshot muddles the head, then the brainbuster breaks it. Dragon has a chance to get on top.

Comet: Just like you like to get on top, eh Citizen Riley…of a MAN! Ahaha!

Riley: What? You know, I WILL call the superhero union and tell them about those magazines!


Dragon slips over and hooks up Hearford’s leg:

















Dragon brings Judge back up and stand behind him. The Englishman quickly gets his arms underneath Judge’s and, bending them back again, locks on a full nelson. Dragon tenses, looking to pull his opponent over with a Dragon suplex, but Hearford resists, keeping himself on the mat. Dragon tries again, but with effort his grip is loosened, and Judge is able to escape and rolls behind the SJLer.


Hearford slaps his arms around EngDrag’s hips and hooks in a waistlock. Before Dragon can react, Judge Mental whips Dragon up into the air, and back towards the mat with a German suplex. There’s a little extra speed in the throw as Judge throws, releasing Dragon in mid-air, and the Englishman is spun over and lands face first on the mat! The crowd lets out a collective gasp at the impact, and Dragon isn’t moving.


Comet: A quite vicious release German suplex. Again, I must applaud these two men in sticking to the rules of the game so far in. Perhaps they are reformed characters.

Riley: Who cares- Hearford just almost broke Dragon in half with that suplex! Brutality like that is kinda making me rethink the value of a T-shirt.

Comet: You’re so fickle, Citizen Riley. A true hero never changes his mind.


With Dragon lying face down and helpless, Judge Mental steps over him, one leg either side of Dragon’s back, and grabs his legs. Hearford pulls them up, locking in a Boston Crab. Dragon shouts in pain as Judge applies pressure, looking to lift the legs as high as possible. EngDrag gets his hands on the mat and pushes himself up, before trying to walk forwards on his hands to the ropes.


Hearford tries to keep his opponent in place, but Dragon’s desperation to escape lends him strength, and he drags himself and Judge to the ropes. Sexton again counts for the break, and again has to threaten the Judge with a disqualification to get him to release the hold.


Dragon, his movements slow and dazed, begins to climb up. Hearford tries to move back in, but Dragon steps between the ropes and shakes his head. The crowd boos this, wanting the match to continue smoothly.


Riley: What’s wrong with these people? Have they never heard of a time out?

Comet: There’s no time out in professional wrestling, Citizen Riley! I fear Dragon has come to the end of his strengths.


Judge loses patience and charges, knocking Sexton out of the way, but Dragon drops down, pulling the top rope with him, and Judge tumbles out over the ropes to the floor. Dragon immediately gets back in the ring and starts a heated conversation with our official.


On the outside, the 6’9, 310lbs of Robertson stroll over to Judge, who is in the process of picking himself up. With Sexton distracted, Robertson slams a punch into the back of Judge’s head, stunning him. Robertson picks up the Judge in a massive bearhug, and, running forward, slams him hard back first into the ring post! The butler doesn’t drop Judge however, but steps back from the ring post.


Robertson moves over to the ring steps and just drops Judge onto them! The huge CLANG that results alerts the hapless Sexton, and he pushes Dragon aside to investigate. Robertson has moved smoothly away however, and Dragon merely shrugs at Sexton before sliding out of the ring after Judge.


Comet: That butler is EVIL! I am most disappointed.

Riley: Hey, Judge could have got some back up at ringside. He knows how things play out in the SWF.


Judge is lying on the steps, face screwed up in pain. Dragon pulls him off, and slides him back into the ring. With Hearford clutching his back, Dragon brings him to his feet and whips him to the ropes. As Judge flies back, the Londoner places his right arm under Hearford’s stomach, his left arm around his back and drops down to one knee. Dragon flips Hearford over head first, and the Judge tumbles over before his back slams onto Dragon’s knee. The Englishman pushes Hearford to the mat on his face, and stands over him.


Comet: Tilta-whirl backbreaker from Citizen Dragon….and what’s this?

Riley: Dragon clearly didn’t like being in that Boston Crab!


The SJLer grabs up the legs of his opponent and applies his own Boston Crab! Dragon gets his grip higher and higher on the legs of Hearford, stepping backwards and developing the crab into a Liontamer! Even the apathetic crowd is impressed as Dragon puts intense pressure on the back of his opponent. Dragon nods in approval and yells at Sexton to ask for the tap out.


Hardcastle’s inquiry is met with a flurry of obscenities, and Sexton reports back to Dragon that his opponent does not want to give it up. Dragon tries to exert more pressure, but the Judge uses his strong arms to push himself up, pushing Dragon back down the legs and enabling him, like Dragon to scurry forwards and make the ropes.


Hearford gets to his feet with a look that might almost be taken for grudging respect, but Dragon, who has moved away, turns his back on Judge and waves to the crowd! Judge, infuriated, charges, but Dragon has it scouted and jumps, spins, kicks, and almost decapitates Judge with a spin-kick to the face! Hearford collapses to the mat, and Dragon drags him into the nearest corner.


Comet: What a STIFF kick! I bet you liked that, eh Riley?

Riley: I did, and please don’t make a lame “stiff” joke.

Comet: Was it because it was ST- Dammit.


Dragon climbs up, his back to the ring, and waves to the crowd, who boo him, getting into the regular crowd response to the Englishman. Judge Mental, meanwhile, picks himself up off the mat and stands behind the Dragon, who, having finished his salutes, leaps backwards! The Dragon goes high in the air, turning over with a moonsault towards Judge…who waits till he is almost upon him…and then…




Judge grabbed the falling Dragon’s head in both arms and hastened his descent to the mat by jumping forwards and smashing him with his version of the Diamond Cutter!


The crowd, stunned by the move, send out a small “HOLY SHIT!” chant!


Comet: Judge waited for Dragon to moonsault onto him, and then gave him the “Surprise Witness” as he was falling! What a move!

Riley: Dragon’s neck has to be broken! Here’s the cover!

















Comet: It’s over! What a way to win a match!


Judge springs to his feet, shooting daggers at the fallen Dragon, and his about to turn away and raise his arm’s in victory when…


Riley: Hey! Dragon’s foot is on the ropes!


Sexton has already seen it, and calls off the pin!


Comet: What happened? Reply, please!


We cut to a replay from the other side of the ring.




As Sexton’s hand is falling for the third time, Robertson sneaks Dragon’s leg onto the rope, unseen by our myopic official.


Comet: That’s just….

Riley: Hey, this guy got you speechless? We need to bump him up to the SWF quicker than I thought!


Hearford, looking pissed beyond belief, slides out of the ring. He rummages underneath the canvas for a moment, and brings out…


Comet: Oh no! Not the Memphis Chain!

Riley: Judge has lost it! He just had the match won, and Dragon sneaked out the back door! No back door joke, you lycra freak!


Hearford slides back into the ring, brandishing the chain. Sexton immediately jumps in front of him, shaking his head, arms outstretched, pleading with Judge to put it down. Hearford somehow resists the temptation to crack the official with the chain, and merely pushes him aside, advancing on Dragon. Judge is about to strike, when Sexton grabs the chain! Dragon, getting groggily to his feet, sees a chance, and grabs the back of Judge’s tights, rolling him over into a school boy pin! The chain drops to the mat as Sexton counts it!












































Both men crawl away from each other, but are immediately dragging themselves up. Dragon is the first up, and boots Judge in the stomach as he’s rising. The Englishman takes a hold of his opponent by the waist and looks to pull him into the air for his version of the Styles Clash, but Judge flips out of the Dragon’s weakened clutches, landing on his feet.


It’s Judge’s turn to send a kick into the midsection, and he pulls Dragon to him. Hearford wraps Dragon’s arms around into a straightjacket position…


Comet: Capital Punishment! I don’t approve of the name, for life should not take life, but what a move it is!

Riley: I’m going to glue your mask shut.


Judge attempts to swing Dragon up into the air for the sit out powerbomb, but EngDrag kicks and he too manages to flip out! Judge is unbalanced, and is even more so as Dragon rakes his eyes! Sexton gets in Dragon’s face, but the Englishman pushes him away and grabs Judge in again.


The Englishman places Judge’s head between his legs and tries for the Dragon Driver a second time, but Judge again flips out! This time however, his landing brings him slamming into Sexton, who is knocked away! With the referee’s eyes forcibly diverted, Dragon takes the chance to jackhammer his forearm into the groin of the Judge! Before Sexton can turn back, Dragon has repeated the move! And again!


Comet: Triple low blow! What a disgrace to the wrestling industry this man is! I fear for his soul!

Riley: Dragon saw a chance and took it! Great mat wrestling skills!


Hearford is doubled over, eyes bulging, and is about to collapses to the mat when Dragon pulls him in for a third attempt at the Dragon Driver! Judge has no strength to flip out this time, and Dragon heaves him up, letting his body hang down. Dragon hooks back Judge’s right arm with his right leg….repeats on the left side….and jumps forward, CRUSHING Judge’s face and body into the mat!


The crowd boos, not liking Judge but liking the flagrant cheating still less, as Dragon slowly rolls Judge onto his back and pushes his opponent’s legs up for the cover. Sexton counts it:




















T – H – R- E – E – E – E – E – E – E – E – E – E – E – E – E – E – E – E - E!!!!!!!!!




















FUNYON: Ladies and Gentleman, here is your winner, the English DRAAGOOOOOOOOON!


Comet: What a horrible match! Butlers, chains, low blows, eye gouges- what has this Dragon brought to the SWF?

Riley: He’s brought a cool T-shirt, and a HUGE win, Comet!


In the ring, Dragon rolls away and slides to the outside, where he collapses onto the shoulder of Robertson, clearly exhausted. Hearford picks himself up, looking simultaneously shocked and furious.


Comet: I think Dragon may have some bad karma coming his way at the next SJL show!

Riley: Judge can take losing, he’s a big boy.

Comet: Oh, REALLY?

Riley: Let’s just get some commercials. (muttering) Why do you have to spoil everything…

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ED, you have no idea how close this was. I went back and forth on a winner so many times. In the end, Judge's match barely eked yours out on a point system I go to if I can't feel out a winner. I think a bit of it went to some more sound wrestling on his behalf, but they were seriously close.


It was really well-organized as a sort of preview to a JL star--you did well having the crowd not care about Dragon at all at first, but gradually warm up to him one way or another. The taste of Robertson was good, and I like the way you use him as a valet. The general story of the two guys trying to out-heel each other worked very well, as it let both ED and Judge exist in their natural environment, without forcing one to play face over the other. Another great parallel was the submission duel, especially the matching Boston Crabs--you handled a lot of the subleties really well. Your writing is really good, and your commentary was very balanced. It was a very good, straight-ahead match.


The flaws: most notable was a finish that felt pretty rushed, especially with the awkward ref bump. It was all going along so smoothly, and that really seemed to clash with the rest of the match's style. Even Robertson's interference up to that point had been nice and subtle. The "I accidentally fell into the ref" thing just was a jarring break from the pace you'd set. This was one spot I could directly compare yours and Judge's matches: he handled the cheating a bit better, as almost all of his consequences stemmed from what the characters did, not a convoluted accident. Those actions seemed more true to the characters rather than a fluke. Also, a few of your transitions felt off. Judge handled them a bit better with a more gradual flow of holds.


It was a really close call, and in the end, your match *was* more exciting. But the soundness from Judge's end just barely edged it out. Great effort though, and I think you'll be in the WF sooner rather than later if you can keep this up.

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My few comments:


You really did my character well. I was surprised how well you did playing both characters as heels, unlike me who kinda copped out and played a more tweener-ish role for the match. The only thing is I think I might have been a bit more subtle with the chain, but with the context it's used in I can't complain.


The Moonsault into Diamond Cutter was almost my ending (Ejiro and Dace had both told me of the reversal a long while ago) until I nixed it because I couldn't fit it into the match and I just couldn't do it without eliminating Robertson and having it flow correctly. Great usage of a fantastic spot for a near fall.


One of the things that you missed was probably selling the neck after the Demonstar. Of course, I wasn't a fan of having it used on people who really don't know the massive hype behind it (In storyline terms it is our equivlent to a Burning Hammer. It's crippled a few people before and hasn't been used for God knows how long until Kibagami/Silent started going crazy and such). My bad because I probably should have told you about it, but looking at your match it wouldn't have counted against you at all. I wouldn't put a second thought behind it, though.


You still have a fantastic balance of description and action. You can get a lot of action in, but it doesn't suffer from jumping around (I.E. He hit a suplex, then he hit a spear!) or lack of proper build with a move (He puts on a Figure Four, but the Judge makes it to the ropes!). You also don't suffer from getting incredibly wordy and writing things like 750 word Ab-Stretches (Tom, I'm looking at YOU). You manage to keep that balance right in place, which is really impressive.


Again, a great showing. If you keep this up you won't be in the JL for much longer :D.

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