Are You Cool?

[Art Sandusky 0]

Does this Darth Maul have horns n' stuff too?

[Guest Marney's Life-Partner]

I'm not having this conversation in public. Especially not since you hit on that damn bartender at Cafe Citron. "Yes, I'm a natural blonde... would you like to see?" <twitter> Stupid faithless airhead bimbo slut. And then you have the nerve to tell me that you only flirted with her because she looked like me?! Like I'm supposed to believe that? I give you the best years of my life, and this is how you repay me?! Go to hell!

 

And Christ Jesus, that "natural blonde" shit is older than you are. Can't you do better than that anymore? Clumsy bitch.

You were the one staring at her ass.

 

Plus, I just did it to make you jealous, because... I...I don't even know if you love me anymore. We haven't had sex in 6 hours! I'm having fantasies about SANDRA BERNHARD for christ sakes.

[Firestarter 0]

"Staring at her ass?" What, through the fucking bar? Hate to break this to you - I know you love it when I dress up in the Supergirl outfit with the red pleated miniskirt - but I really don't have X-ray vision, toots.

 

As for not having had sex in 6 hours, I wasn't the one who was too busy jilling off to Shakira videos. Sandra Bernhard my cute little ass. If I hear that "Whenever, Wherever" crap one more time I'm going to kill you.

[Guest Marney's Life-Partner]

"Staring at her ass?" What, through the fucking bar? Hate to break this to you - I know you love it when I dress up in the Supergirl outfit with the red pleated miniskirt - but I really don't have X-ray vision, toots.

Don't take that tone with me, I saw you look over the bar top. Poeple have these things called necks and their heads can fucking turn.

 

Plus,you have the worst taste in wines I've ever seen. The red you picked for that dinner two weeks ago was so bad I thought it was Welsh's Grape Juice! Don't even get me started on your hair.

 

BTW, I heard Pam Grier is bi. What do you think?

[Firestarter 0]

I was looking over the bar because I couldn't see the Scotch and you always have to have Black Label for your shots, you fucking princess. Don't blame me for trying to cater to your finicky airs. And if you're talking about the red we had in the private room at Morton's, I didn't pick it out. It was the damn sommelier and it was YOUR bright idea to ask her for a recommendation. Come to think of it, I think the way you phrased it was, "Oh, just bring us anything! I'm sure it'll be luhvlee!" <trilling twitter> If you weren't so intent on flirting with everything with a cunt maybe you wouldn't have had to SUFFER SUCH UNIMAGINABLE DEPRIVATIONS as drinking bad wine. The horror! But did I bitch at you about it? No. I let it go. And you have the nerve to bring it up now?! Brazen slut. And what the fuck is wrong with my hair?! At least I didn't come up with the pot-addled idea to cut it into a frizzy bob... unlike a CERTAIN SOMEONE.

 

And don't talk to me about Pam Grier. Don't you ever talk to me about anyone else again. Whore.

[Kinetic 0]

I was going to make some snide remark about being cooler than this thread, but things appear to be picking up.

[godthedog 0]

sorry, you will never be as cool as an online catfight between a conservative lesbian and a teenage boy pretending to be her lover.

[Guest Marney's Life-Partner]

There's just NO TALKING TO YOU, is there? You ignorant bitch. You'll argue about the goddamned color of the sky till doomsday just so you can say you were right and someone else was wrong.

 

Well, I'm not going to live like this anymore, I've suffered enough of your "I work in Washington" crap! You're never there for me, anymore. I spend nights all alone, waiting for you to come home! You never call! You just expect me to have dinner ready (and good think because you can't cook worth a damn) well no more. Pack your bags sweet-heart, we're going back to Vermont. Because I want... A DIVORCE. Or if not a divorce a court appointed seperation to our civil union.

 

And just so you know... I faked all my orgasms.

 

 

BTW: Really, what do you think about Pam Grier? I think she is.

[Firestarter 0]

Of course you did, you frigid bitch! You... you...

 

Oh God. Don't leave me, honey. Don't do this. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to us.

 

 

 

PS. Will you fucking shut up about Pam Grier already?! Thanks to you I can't get that damn afro out of my head.

[Guest Marney's Life-Partner]

Of course you did, you frigid bitch! You... you...

 

Oh God. Don't leave me, honey. Don't do this. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to us.

 

 

 

PS. Will you fucking shut up about Pam Grier already?! Thanks to you I can't get that damn afro out of my head already.

You're right. I was a fool. I forgot what made us... us.

 

 

But I'm not going to have make up sex with you until you answer my question about Pam Grier.

[Firestarter 0]

I'll wear a wig to bed tonight. Do we still have that beehive somewhere? I can get it dyed black tomorrow.

[Guest Marney's Life-Partner]

Fine, fine, but if you want to eat first, do us both a favor and let me pick the wine, 'kay honey?

[Firestarter 0]

All right, darling. But no champagne... you know it gives me headaches. Besides, you always want the French stuff, and politics aside, I wish you'd try to remember I'm on a government salary. Do I have to remind you about your last Victoria's Secret bill?

[Guest Marney's Life-Partner]

Yes, that's fine. Sex is always better after a Claret, anyway. Mutoh-Rothchild should suffice I think.Though, a nice dry sherry could work.

 

Oh and at least I wear sexy underwear. After all, I married someone who seems to believe the commercials that tell that Hanes Her Way is perfect for that night on the town.

[Firestarter 0]

Well, what the fuck is wrong with Hanes? At least MY underwear doesn't have to be thrown away after one night and replaced for $400 apiece. And don't even get me started on that ridiculous "extra extra fine" pantyhose you wear. Jesus Christ, I run my fingertips down from your garters and that shit damn near disintegrates.

 

PS. It's Mouton-Rothschild, goddamnit. Will you please try to keep both hands on the keyboard instead of your clit for HALF a second? I don't want everyone to think I settled for an uncultured subliterate.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

excellent thread excellent

[Kinetic 0]

sorry, you will never be as cool as an online catfight between a conservative lesbian and a teenage boy pretending to be her lover.

I know, and it tears me up inside. Fortunately, the gimmick didn't really carry his end of the conversation, so there's no need to break out the cyanide capsules just yet.

[Guest This Thread Is Ghey]

I take it back. This thread isn't ghey anymore.

 

Props to Marney for turning what would have been another dumb gimmick poster looking for attention into something that could actually be considered entertaining around here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shit, I don't know how to end this. I can't hit the catchphrase. Uh.....

[MrRant 0]

I'm disappointed in Marney and the "Whore".

 

It started well but turned fake all too quickly.

 

You both have failed to entertain me on the boring Labor Day at work.

 

For shame.

 

MrRant Thumbs Down™.

[Guest Marney's Life-Partner]

Well, what the fuck is wrong with Hanes? At least MY underwear doesn't have to be thrown away after one night and replaced for $400 apiece. And don't even get me started on that ridiculous "extra extra fine" pantyhose you wear. Jesus Christ, I run my fingertips down from your garters and that shit damn near disintegrates.

 

PS. It's Mouton-Rothschild, goddamnit. Will you please try to keep both hands on the keyboard instead of your clit for HALF a second? I don't want everyone to think I settled for an uncultured subliterate.

Okay, this was fun, but I think I'll retire it here.

 

 

But before I do... you STILL didn't answer whether you thought Pam Grier was bi or not, and it's tearing me apart inside.

[Firestarter 0]

the gimmick didn't really carry his end of the conversation

Out of character now: unfortunately or not, these exchanges are actually about as true to life as one could reasonably expect. Well, except for the bit about the dildo. We never touch those things.

Edited September 2, 2003 by Cancer Marney

[Firestarter 0]

Okay, this was fun, but I think I'll retire it here.

Pussy.

 

But before I do... you STILL didn't answer whether you thought Pam Grier was bi or not, and it's tearing me apart inside.

Honestly, I have no idea. I didn't even know what she looked like until you asked about her and I did an image search for her online.

 

 

 

So who was behind this amusing little diversion, anyway?

Edited September 2, 2003 by Cancer Marney

[MrRant 0]

Personally I would say Kinetic or possibly Inc.

 

Outside chance of it being Banky.

[Kinetic 0]

It definitely wasn't me. I don't know enough about wine, nor do I have a computer swift enough to do any sort of quick research on. Had it been me, it quickly would have degenerated into me either making up wine names altogether or trying to shift the focus of the conversation onto King Cobra or Schlitz.

[Guest DeputyHawk]

perhaps lil naitch busted out the irony?

[razazteca 0]

It definitely wasn't me. I don't know enough about wine, nor do I have a computer swift enough to do any sort of quick research on. Had it been me, it quickly would have degenerated into me either making up wine names altogether or trying to shift the focus of the conversation onto King Cobra or Schlitz.

What no love for the wine in a box?

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Interesting....very interesting.

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

<--- cool like a fool in a swimmin pool.....yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Okay, this was fun, but I think I'll retire it here.

Pussy.

 

But before I do... you STILL didn't answer whether you thought Pam Grier was bi or not, and it's tearing me apart inside.

Honestly, I have no idea. I didn't even know what she looked like until you asked about her and I did an image search for her online.

 

 

 

So who was behind this amusing little diversion, anyway?

Sorry Marney, but I had to go out for dinner and a flick.

 

 

Yes, it was me. I was just looking for a few laughs, hope everyone enjoyed it.

[Firestarter 0]

Nicely done. <g> What was the movie?