XPW Fallout

[DCMaximo 0]

XPW FALLOUT

 

Considering the lovely Rob Black looks like spending several years behind bars for his production of the most disgusting type of pornographic videos, I thought it would be timely to look at his attempt to start a wrestling promotion. Due to my curious nature, I once bought an XPW video to see how it compared to the company it would clearly love to be, ECW, and found myself bored to tears by match after match of talentless losers “wrestling” with weapons. However, I was reliably informed that this video was from the Shane Douglas days of booking, featuring stars like Super Crazy and Juventud Guerrera, so I once again ventured back into the world of the X-treme….

 

Live from the XPW/ CZW/ ECW/ 3PW arena, your host for this event is Kriss Kloss, though I’m sure that isn’t his real name.

 

POGO THE CLOWN vs THE SANDMAN

We kick things off with the Sandman in the ring calling out Pogo. Pogo slowly walks to the ring, carrying a spade for some reason. Sandman attacks Pogo as he enters the ring, then strikes him in the face with a beer can. Sandman drinks the beer, then spits it into Pogo’s face. Irish whip to the corner, Pogo reverses and charges, but Sandman moves, sending Pogo to the ring post and tumbling out of the ring. Sandman follows him out with a pescado. Sandman disappears down the aisle and returns with a section of the security railing which he puts in the ring. Pogo takes the advantage. Pogo chokes Sandman with (I can’t believe I’m writing this) a rubber chicken, but Sandman fires back with a pair of clotheslines. Back in the ring, Pogo slugs away at the Sandman, “slug” being the operative word. Sloppy looking face first suplex by Pogo, who then heads up top to deliver….um, I’m not sure if that was meant to be a splash or an elbow drop, but it looked shitty. I think it was a splash, but only his arms actually touched the Sandman. The Sandman’s wife then does a run in with a cross body from the top, but Pogo catches her and delivers the Close Capture Crunch, then splashes her. Sandman is back up- he whacks the Clown with repeated cane shots, as only a drunk who has just seen his wife get beaten up can, and the cane-assisted russian leg sweep gets 2. Sandman grabs the railing he brought in earlier and balances it against the ropes. Suplex attempt by Sandman, but Pogo is clearly too damn fat and Pogo reverses to a VICIOUS looking powerbomb on the railings for 3. Pogo wins. The only thing keeping that atrocity out of negative stars is that sick looking bump at the end, bringing this kicking and screaming up to a DUD

 

JULIO DINERO vs JUVENTUD GUERRERA

Funny bit to start, as the Juice delivers a long winded, though thankfully subtitled, promo, telling the fans the are all fucking marks, that he is the Juicy one (“which means I am the fucking best ever”) and calls his opponent Julio Candido, which, as we find out later, somewhat ruins the surprise of just who is the mystery opponent for Shane Douglas. He then tells the ring announcer that he sucks, and introduces himself AGAIN. Dinero attacks, but Juvi reverses the Irish whip, allowing Dinero to blow a tilt a whirl reversal into a reverse DDT for 2. . Juvi elevates Dinero over the ropes, but Deniro lands on the apron and tries to suplex him out of the ring, reversed by Juvi to a reverse DDT on the apron. They brawl on the outside and Juvi takes control with a flying head scissors. Juvi charges, but Deniro counters with a drop toehold to the security rails. Deniro places Juvi’s head in between the rails, then stands on the Juice’s back to choke him, but Juvi’s throat is clearly nowhere near the bottom of the railings, no matter how much Kriss Kloss claims otherwise. Juvi places a chair around Deniro’s neck, then rams him again into the post. Damn, that looked painful. Deniro slowly crawls into the ring, only to be met halfway by a HUGE springboard leg drop from the Juice. Gets a 2 count. Irish whip reversed by Deniro, Juvi with the bodyscissors, attempt at a bulldog, NO caught by Deniro, but Juvi is near enough to the top turnbuckle to push himself off to finish the bulldog. Powerbomb gets 2 for Juvi. Deniro hiptosses the Juice onto the top rope and plants him with a cool-looking reverse top-rope suplex. Suplex gets 2. Another is reversed to a Juvi Driver, doesn’t go for the pin, but goes up top for the 450. Deniro pushes the ref into the ropes, crotching Juvi. Deniro blocks a Juice rana attempt, but gets planted with a tornado DDT. Juvi brings a chair into the ring, but Deniro kicks it into his face for 2. Full nelson into a Rock Bottom gets two for Deniro. Deniro tries a suplex onto the chair, but Juvi reverses to a Juvi Driver onto the chair for the 1-2-3! Juvi clearly carried this one on his shoulders and it certainly wasn’t a bad match, but…it wasn’t really a good match either **1/4

 

MEXICO’S MOST WANTED (champions) vs DEAD PREZ (XPW Tag Team Championship)

Actually, Dead Prez aren’t named as such during the match, as they are 2 men “from the street” (thanks Kriss) who run in to attack MMW, but the larger of the two is former RoH wrestler

Boogalou from the Natural Born Sinners. Dead Prez take an early advantage with some nice double teams, including a clothesline into a German suplex and a Hart Attack, which prompts Kriss to wonder if the two men are called Bret and Jim. Damien 666 fights back, sending the smaller Dead Prez member (DP2 from now on) face first into Boogalou’s groin with a drop toehold. Tag to Halloween, who attacks with a double spear. Damien hiptosses DP2 into a Halloween powerbomb for 2. MMW ram Boogalou into the corner, then ram his ribs into the post. DP2 catches both of MMW with a cross body from the top to the floor. In the ring, Boogalou gets a cross armbreaker on Damien, who reverses it into a knee lock, which prompts Halloween and DP2 to take turns kicking their respective foes, then both apply a head scissors to their opponent. Boogalou gets crotched by Halloween and Damien catches DP2 with a spear. MMW set up the Montezuema’s Revenge (Damien 666 gives the opponent a giant swing, until Halloween stops it with a dropkick to the head) which is enough for the win. Dead Prez give MMW a massive beatdown after the match and escape through the crowd. Match was too short, but it was non-stop action and great fun while it lasted **3/4.

 

CHRIS HAMRICK vs CHRIS CHETTI

Chetti looks a lot trimmer than in his ECW days. Series of armdrags to start, which leads to a blown spot when Chetti sells an armdrag before Hamrick has gotten back to his feet. Hamrick misses a flying clothesline and goes straight through the ropes to the concrete floor, prompting the first “Holy Shit” chant of the night. Chetti follows him out with a beautiful corkscrew plancha. Hamrick gets on the apron, then takes Chetti down with a top rope split legged moonsault. Chetti back on the apron, Hamrick drapes him on the top rope and takes him down with a springboard legdrop for 2. Chetti comes back with a series of kicks and gets an axe kick for 2. Hamrick blocks a back body drop by hooking Chetti up for a face first suplex, but dropping Chetti face first on his knee. They exchange kicks, Chetti goes to the top, but Hamrick sends him to the floor with a big Yakuza kick. They brawl inside the ring, Chetti goes for the Amityville Horror (fireman’s carry into a Michinoku Driver), but Hamrick lands on his feet and hits Chetti with the Dixie Driver (suplex into a stunner). Hamrick goes up top for a Guillotine legdrop which gets 2, much to the surprise of Kriss Kloss. Chetti goes to the top, but gets crotched. Hamrick tries a frankensteiner, but Chetti stops him and hits him with a top rope Amityville Horror which is enough for the Chetti victory. Kloss plays this up as a huge upset, which seems surprising considering how well Chetti did in ECW. Chetti was pretty sloppy in this match, although Hamrick looked impressive, but almost every transition move was a kick of some sort, which didn’t help the flow of the match **

 

PSICOSIS vs SUPER CRAZY

Now THIS match should rule it. Psi takes advantage of Crazy playing to the crowd by shoving him from the apron to the rails, but Crazy avoids a Psicosis cross body, leaving Psi to land on the rails. OUCH! Crazy down him with a moonsault off the railings. Back inside, Psi misses a drop kick in the corner, but elevates Crazy out as he charges in. Psi tries to take advantage with a tornado DDT to the floor, but Crazy blocks it and sends Psi back in with a big clothesline. Crazy comes back in with a springboard moonsault, but stops to pose for the fans, resulting in Psi rebounding with a running powerbomb for 2. Crazy sends Psi outside with a top rope armdrag and a baseball slide sends Psicosis into the crowd. Crazy follows him out with a top rope Asai moonsault into the crowd, which gets the “Holy Shit” chant it so rightly deserves. Back in, spinning heel kick sends Crazy back outside, and Psi follows him with a HUGE plancha, clearing the ring by several feet. Back inside, Crazy blocks a Psi bronco buster the subtle way- with a boot to the groin. Crazy gets Psi into the corner for the Spanish 10 punch countalong, but Psi drops him face first to the turnbuckle by number 9. Crazy charges Psi in the corner, but gets met with an elbow, setting up the Psycho Stunner (Diamond Dust). Psicosis goes to the top for the Guillotine legdrop, which is enough to finish Super Crazy. Crazy snaps after the decision, attacking Psi with a chair, then tearing Psi open with a spike, which XPW, being truly hardcore, censors. Fantastic match from these two, who both lived up to their names with some insane bumps, as you would have expected, and certainly nothing else on this video is going to beat it ***1/2. Especially not…

 

MALICE vs VIC GRIMES

From the sublime to the ridiculous. Malice starts off with a dull heel promo, insulting the fans and discarding the XPW-given name Snuff in favour of his NWA:TNA persona of Malice. Of course, no-one really hates TNA that much, so this gets no reaction, no matter how much Kriss tells us (and boy does he keep telling us) that Malice has a problem. They brawl to start and Malice takes the advantage with a German suplex on the 350 pound Grimes. Grimes comes back with a powerslam as they suddenly cut to clips from a previous match, which was won by Snuff. Nice overhead belly to belly by Grimes. Malice is slumped in the corner and Grimes ascends the ropes Vader bomb-style to drop a headbutt on Malice’s groin. Grimes goes up top, but Malice greets him with a top rope belly to belly suplex. Hey, I’ll admit it, this is much better than I thought it would be. Malice misses a 2nd rope leg drop. Grimes grabs Malice by the arm and walks the ropes Undertaker-style, only to come down with a huge legdrop across the arm of Malice! That’s impressive agility for a man that size. That gets a 2 count. Malice is thrown out of the ring and Grimes follows him with a clothesline from the apron. Malice comes back with some chairshots, but a Grimes low blow turns the tide. Grimes hits a powerbomb, the goes up top for a frog splash. Didn’t quite get the elevation of Eddie Guerrero (or even D’Lo Brown), but as I said before, that’s one big man up there. Grimes goes to the opposite corner for another top rope splash, this time not of the frog variety. Only gets a 2 count. Grimes goes outside and sets up a table in the aisle. Malice gets a chair, but Grimes punches it into the face of Malice. Malice is set up on the table. Grimes goes up to the top rope and (FUCK!!) hits a SWANTON FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH A TABLE TO THE FLOOR. Now THAT deserves a “Holy Shit” chant and it gets it. Back inside, the pin is academic. Grimes rubs salt in the wound by telling Malice that TNA sucks, Jarrett sucks and Russo sucks. Less than a year later, only one of these promotions is still in business. Have to admit, despite my worries coming into this match, both men proved something to me. Both men moved quickly for men their size and there was almost no resting. It wasn’t a great match, but seeing as how I was expecting this to rival the Pogo/ Sandman fiasco, colour me impressed **3/4

 

SUPREME (champion) vs ALTAR BOY LUKE (XPW King of the Deathmatch championship)

Bit of a contrast between the two here, as Luke is a skinny cruiserweight, who recently wrestled a dark match for the WWE, and Supreme is a big goofy looking heavyweight. Supreme takes advantage with some power moves, but Luke takes over with a nice springboard hurancanrana. Luke knocks Supreme onto the apron and a springboard dropkick sends Supreme flying into a bed of lightbulbs. Luke puts a bed of barbed wire in the ring, but gets caught by Supreme. Snapmere puts Altar Boy down, but he rolls through with a Russian leg sweep, sending Supreme into the barbed wire. That gets one. Luke follows this with the Halo (springboard moonsault from the ring apron back into the ring) on the wire for 2. Fameasser by Luke puts Supreme back into the barbed wire. The barbed wire seems to be stuck in Supreme’s skull at this point, which is quite sick. Supreme takes the advantage with a flourescent lightbulb and hits a fallaway slam onto, you guessed it, the barbed wire. The problem with this match is that every move ends with either Supreme or Altar Boy back on the barbed wire, which seems less interesting each time, especially as the injured party spends 30 seconds yelling on the barbed wire before the next move. As if sensing this, Supreme takes Luke outside and slams him onto a bed of lightbulbs. Nice to see him expand the moveset. The rubber chicken makes it’s return, allowing Kloss to make a lame “Chicken Supreme” joke (sigh). Supreme takes Luke down the aisle to the stage, where he threatens to powerbomb Luke off the stage through some tables, when he gets blasted with a lightbulb by Angel (“the Hardcore Homo”, Kloss tells us). Supreme gets thrown off the stage, where Angel sets him up on the table and covers him with a bucket of thumbtacks. Luke follows him down with a 450 splash through the table for 3. Match was a collection of vaguely interesting spots with lots of stalling in between each one. Luke looked really impressive, but he clearly had to carry Supreme through this match and he wasn’t quite up to the task *1/4

 

KAOS (champion) vs DANNY DORING (XPW Television championship)

Kaos is accompanied by GQ Money, who is maybe the most irritating man (in a good heelish way) I can imagine. Doring clears the ring to start and Kaos starts walking to the back. Doring catches him and Money with a double clothesline upon their return. Doring takes the advantage and applies a nipple twister on Kaos, which someone in the WWE is surely going to steal soon. Money gets on the apron and gets the same treatment. Kaos takes control when Doring gets distracted by the idea of giving Veronica Caine (Kaos’ stereotypical skank manager) the same treatment. Doring tries a pescado, but misses and hits the concrete floor. OW! Doring regains control with a reverse DDT, but a top rope legdrop misses. That’s the fourth time someone has used that move on this video. Botched Bubba Cutter gets 2 for Kaos. GQ and Kaos double team Doring with a rolling thunder legdrop (Money)/ 450 splash (Kaos) combination. Only gets 2. Kaos puts Doring in the tree of woe, but Doring grabs a charging Kaos to apply a stunner. Doring downs Kaos and Money, drawing Caine into the ring. They do a brief wrestling sequence, which ends with a Caine armdrag sending Doring outside. Yeah, nice move XPW. That’s the way to make your babyface look credible. Kaos elevates GQ over the ropes onto Doring, but overshoots, sending GQ crashing into the rails in a sick looking bump. Back in, Doring tries an F5 variation, but knocks out the ref in the process. Kaos comes back with a Ganso Bomb (!) which only gets 2 from the groggy ref. Quick series of reversals ends with Doring getting the Wham Bam (like Shane Douglas’ Franchiser) for the 3. BUT WAIT. Before Doring can get too attached to his new belt, GQ storms in to take the title away, claiming the match was non-title. Doring cuts a dull babyface promo in response. Despite the Dusty Finish and the STUPID Veronica Caine wrestling sequence in the middle, these two really clicked, as Kaos played the asshole champion to perfection and Doring used his experience to make nicely timed comebacks ***.

 

SHANE DOUGLAS (champion) vs ? (XPW World Heavyweight championship)

Douglas cuts a long, rambling promo before the match, taking credit for making ECW, giving wrestling fans something to watch instead of the WWE and leading XPW into the future. Yeah, that turned out well for them. This draws out his former stablemate Chris Candido, a really disappointing choice for a mystery partner, with Tammy Sytch. He also cuts a long, dull promo (guess he learnt something off Shane) about fighting his demons and how he was hurt when Shane didn’t leave WCW when they fired Chris, so he’s there to take the only thing Shane cares about- the XPW title. This gives us….

 

SHANE DOUGLAS (champion) vs CHRIS CANDIDO (XPW World Heavyweight championship)

They brawl to start and Candido gets a quick DDT for 2. Clothesline takes both men out and Candido goes up top with a huge crossbody to the floor. Candido sets up a table in the ring and sets Douglas on it, but Douglas catches him going up top and throws his over the table. Douglas props up the table in the corner, but Candido wins a battle for a suplex. He sets up the table AGAIN, but Douglas moves, as Candido crashes through the table with a top rope legdrop (AGAIN! Why is that move so popular here?). They go through a series of moves where they attack each other in the groin, but Douglas hits Candido with a belly to belly suplex. This draws Sytch into the ring to attack, prompting a catfight with Doulgas’ pornstar valet Lizzy Borden. This is ended when Douglas plants Sytch with a belly to belly suplex, which is the last we see of her tonight. This angers Candido, who attacks Douglas, culminating in a diving headbutt for 2, when Borden puts Douglas’ foot on the rope. She distracts Candido, who then walks into a Douglas chairshot (literally- he turns around, looks at Shane holding the chair and walks towards him to be hit). REALLY sloppy Pittsburgh Plunge gets 2, but a second one on the chair gets 3. Neither of these men are ageing that well, both looking much fatter than their ECW glorydays. All the ECW cliches were here, from the catfight to the finisher-on-the-chair ending, but it was at a much slower speed and really, it was a hugely disapointing main event ¾ *.

 

HIGHEST RATING: ***1/2 (Psicosis vs Super Crazy)

LOWEST RATING: DUD (Pogo the Clown vs the Sandman)

AVERAGE RATING: 2.08 stars (18.75/9)

 

OVERALL: If ever a wrestling event could be summed up as average, this would be it. Everything was watchable, except the opener, and the Psicosis/ Crazy match was very good. XPW certainly improved in the 6 months between the first video of theirs I watched (and trust me, that abortion is still to come), but not enough to be a company going out of your way to watch. All of the big names, except Doring, Psicosis and Crazy looked like they were going through the motions, but I’d rather watching an average Juvi match than ANY Pogo the Clown match. Indeed, if this promotion was run by anyone other than someone like Rob Black, I’d have been sad to see it go out of business, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

 

 

If anyone wants to leave some feedback, that'd be nice. Be warned though, I bruise easily

Edited September 8, 2003 by DCMaximo

[DCMaximo 0]

Oh fuck, sorry, it pasted twice again. I'll be more careful next time

[Guest Retro Rob]

Just edit the original post...

[TheFranchise 0]

Thought you were gonna shorten the PBP!

[DCMaximo 0]

Hey, I tried. honestly. You should see the bits I left out. But I'll trim even more off next time I write, I promise

[TheFranchise 0]

Thank you

[Guest The Real Nosferatu]

Thats a lot of PBP for boring hardcore shit.

 

At least thats what I assume from the XPW stereotype passed around.