Smarkdown Losing Matches

[Ace309 0]

I kind of figured this was going to lose. I'm not terribly thrilled with my partners today, because on the afternoon of the show, instead of getting 3000ish words that built toward the finish we had planned, I got a PM with 1466 words and a vague suggestion for a new finish. I had to scrap my notes and wrote 70% of the match between 4 PM and 9 PM. The worst part is that I thought it was going to win.

 

I think what hurt us most was the extended selling on the part of the two wrestlers involved in the finish - they were both laying around, basically, with no excuse to be laying around for that long. Of course, what really hurt us was that I had to scrap my match plan and write the majority of the match within a few hours because I got stiffed.

 

Thanks, guys.

 

===

 

“QUIZ!”

 

“SHOW!”

 

“COME ON DOWN~!”

 

The disembodied voice of Rod Roddy brings us back from break, as Quiz and Show step onto the entrance ramp, posing like mad with the tag belts. Crystal Waters’ “Come On Down” blasts over the P.A. as Quiz grabs a mic, pointing up at the Smarktron, tonight bearing a Family Feud-like board setup. Three answers are given, as Quiz grins, grabbing a microphone.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight’s CELEBRITY edition of the Quiz show!”

 

The Oklahoma crowd lashes back with boos, as Quiz pats his title for no real reason, continuing to speak.

 

“Introducing tonight’s CELEBRITY special guest, he would like to thank all of you for paying him tonight, and as a favor to you he’ll try to snap the Boston Strangler in three pieces! He is Superior, he is the One, he is the Superior One! TOOOOOOOM FLESHER!”

 

BOOOM!

 

An explosion of blue pyro goes off as “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin starts up, smoke filling the entranceway and Tom Flesher steps out, nodding his head to the beat of the music. He comes down to where Quiz and Show are standing, shaking hands with both of them as Show hands him a microphone and he begins to speak.

 

“I’d like to thank both of you for having me on the show tonight, it’s truly a pleasure.”

 

Quiz grins. “It’s always a pleasure to be in the presence of someone so superior! Now then, Tom, we polled one hundred people, asking them this question. Who, tonight, is going to be pinned by the three-man team of Celebrity Jeopardy?”

 

Flesher puts a hand to his chin, stroking it gently as he tries to think of an answer. “Hmmm… Va’aiga?”

 

Show golf-claps, yelling out “Good answer!” as Quiz smiles. “Va’aiga, eh? SURVEY SAYS!”

 

*DING!* The number three turns over to reveal Va’aiga, with 17 votes.

 

“Number three answer! Same question, Mr. Matthews. Who is going to be pinned by Celebrity Jeopardy?”

 

Show strokes his chin now, trying to think of a good answer. “Umm… Dace Night?”

 

Flesher shakes Show’s hand encouragingly as Quiz calls it out. “Dace Night, SURVEY SAYS!”

 

*DING!* The number two turns over to reveal Dace Night, with 21 votes.

 

“Good answer, Mr. Matthews! Back to you, Mr. Flesher, same question.”

 

Flesher and Show converse quickly, and then Flesher breaks away, smiling broadly. “The Boston Strangler!”

 

The crowd erupts in boos as Show calls out “Good answer!”, Quiz yelling it out. “The Boston Strangler, SURVEY SAYS!”

 

*DING!* The number one turns over to reveal The Boston Strangler, with 62 votes.

 

“Very good, Mr. Flesher! Thank you, everybody, for watching the Quiz show!”

 

The three men then walk towards the ring, finally sliding in. Quiz and Show once again show off their Tag Team Titles, as Flesher stands in the middle of the ring, allowing the Oklahomans to bask in his superiority. Without further ado…

 

“LET FREEDOM RING WITH A SHOTGUN BLAST!”

 

“Davidian” by Machinehead blasts through the Ford Center as red lights flash by the entryway. The crowd lets out a roar, as two figures appear from the abyss. They continue their stoic walk to the ring as Funyon stands to announce them.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is a six-man tag team match, scheduled for one fall! At a combined weight of 557 pounds, they are the Unholy Trinity, Va’aiga and DAAAAAAACE NIGHT!!!”

 

At the end of the ramp, Dace and Va’aiga stand in wait, as they look back to the entry way. With that, the house lights dim, and the crowd begins to buzz in anticipation. The opening guitar riff of “Godzilla” by the Blue Oyster Cult hits, and the crowd roars WILDLY as the fan-favorite Champion walks out from the back, title slung over his shoulder. He raises his fist to the crowd as he continues to walk down to his partners.

 

“From Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 303 pounds, he is THE SWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOORLD, THE BOSTON STRAAAAAAAAAAAANGLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

The crowd once again cheers their approval as Strangler meets up with Dace and Va’aiga. The three nod to each other and rush into the ring, sliding in to meet Celebrity Jeopardy head on as Nick Soapdish calls for the bell to begin the match!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Tom Flesher cuts the World Champion off, meeting him with stomps as he slides into the ring, while Show clubs Va’aiga in the back and Quiz drops an elbow on Dace. Night gets up, however, grabbing Quiz by the legs and lifting him up, Stun Gunning him on the top rope! The crowd roars as Quiz’s neck is guillotined across the top, and he hits the mat, rolling out of the ring and grabbing his neck in pain!

 

Strangler, meanwhile, is up and clubbing Tom about the head and neck, driving him back into a corner. He grins madly as he sees Dace all alone, and whips the small former champ at Night… and right into a huge lariat! Flesher hits the mat, rolling out of the ring to avoid further assault and leaving Show all alone with the entire opposing team!

 

“Flesher and Quiz bail, but there’s still over a half-ton of meat in the ring!”

 

“Oh, and by the way this is CYCLOOOOOONE COMET!!!!!!!!” shouts the masked crusader from the announce table. “… alongside Bobby Riley.”

 

“Thanks, Comet.”

 

Show and Va’aiga exchange blows while Strangler and Dace inch closer, the crowd roaring as Show feels the other two closing in around him! Quickly, Show turns around, trying to lariat Strangler – but TBS grabs the arm, lifting Show up into a fireman’s carry! The crowd roars as Va’aiga goes over, grabbing Show by the neck and shouting to the crowd! The fans respond in kind as TBS falls back, planting Show with a Samoan drop as the monstrous Maori executes a neckbreaker! The crowd shouts along with Va’aiga’s “MY HOUSE!” as he and Strangler exit the ring, leaving Dace wide open for the pin!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

 

“THRE –” Soapdish’s count is cut off as Flesher and Quiz pull him out of the ring. Dace notices the ref exiting the ring and grabs Show, lifting him to his feet.

 

“Heel tactics from Celebrity Jeopardy prevent the early three-count, and it seems that Flesher and Quiz are going to have to use their wit to keep up with the Boston Trinity here.”

 

“I have to agree, Citizen Riley. Celebrity Jeopardy is the smaller of the two teams, but, like a cakemaker at work in the bakery, they can rely on the precision of their ingredients. Quiz’s manipulation fills it… Show’s skuill ices it… and when heated with Tom Flesher’s cake batter of inky black evil, the result will surely be a formidable test for the powers of justice!”

 

Riley pauses.

 

“Comet, what the hell is wrong with you?”

 

Flesher and Quiz get up on the apron as Dace grabs Show by the arm, whipping him into the ropes. Show hits them, coming back at Night, who grabs him by the waist and lifts him up, dropping him forward onto his back with a monster spinebuster! The crowd erupts as Dace leans forward, looking for three…

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

 

“THRE – NO!” Show barely gets the shoulder up, and Dace grabs him by the purple dress shirt, angrily lifting him to his feet.

 

“Dace is full of rage here tonight, although I have no idea why.”

 

“Citizen Riley, your understanding of the politics in the ring is weak. Dace Night is always full of rage, just as Ted Flink was full of piss and vinegar, and just as the Suicide King is full of-”

 

“Wonderful new career options for you,” says Riley, “especially if you piss him off.”

 

Dace picks Show up, facing him, but quickly Dace goes behind Show, wrapping both of his arms around Show’s midsection. They face the Trinity corner, as Dace heaves Show overhead, releasing him with a German suplex! The crowd roars for the Filthy German, as Show lands hard on his head near the Celebrity Jeopardy corner! Thinking quickly, Quiz stands on the second rope, clutching the tag rope as he reaches over and makes the blind tag into the ring!

 

“Blind tag by Quiz,” says Riley, “and now he’s the legal man!”

 

“Wise move by Celebrity Jeopardy. They knew Show was going to get thrown around.”

 

Quiz hops down onto the apron, then leaps high into the air, landing on the top rope! He springboards off of it as Dace gets to his feet, turning to admire his handiwork… only to be caught by a springboard cross body from Quiz! The crowd pops for the move but boos Quiz as Dace falls over, allowing Quiz to make the cover!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO – NO!” Dace gets the shoulder up, and Quiz quickly scampers to his feet, going over to the Celebrity Jeopardy corner to discuss strategy with Flesher and Show as Dace gets to his feet, charging Quiz… who hits the mat quickly, scissoring Dace’s legs with a drop toehold! Dace falls, his head bouncing off the middle turnbuckle pad!

 

“OOOOOOOOH!”

 

“Slick maneuver there from Quiz, using his cunning to his advantage here!”

 

“Quiz’s tactics are heinous! Somebody must make sure he learns the ways of JUSTICE~!”

 

Dace falls to the mat, and Quiz picks him up, tagging to Flesher as he locks Dace in a smooth double chickenwing. Flesher measures Night quickly, then levels a smooth kick at Night’s kneecap, causing Dace to let out an uncharacteristic yell of pain. He sweeps Dace’s leg out from under him, taking him to the mat and then swiftly lifting the leg and kicking the hamstring. Still holding the leg, he reaches out and tags Quiz back in. He drapes the leg over the bottom rope as Quiz mounts the second rope, then dives off with a senton splash! Night cries out again as he feels the weight coming down across his leg. Quiz quickly gets back to his feet, though, and tags in his partner. Show enters the ring just as fast as the others and takes his turn, leaping into the air and then dropping his nearly 300 pounds across the High Priest’s leg with a sitdown splash! As the crowd boos, he pulls Dace back to his feet and slams him into the corner. He reaches back and throws a hard, condescending slap across Dace’s face! The crowd boos as he tags Quiz back in. Quiz leaps into the ring, backing up just far enough to add more force as he, too, slaps Dace hard! The crowd continues booing as he tags in Flesher, who slides in and ends the series with one more bitchslap!

 

“Celebrity Jeopardy is certainly latching onto any advantage they can,” says Bobby Riley. “Smart wrestling by the trio keeps Dace Night in the corner. After all, he can’t tag out from there.”

 

“Of course not, Citizen Riley. He might, however, had he had the foresight to load up on Cyclone Comet Vitamins before the match. Or at least a bottle of Pepsi-MAX.”

 

Flesher turns and begins golf-clapping for himself as Quiz and Show each grab an arm, holding Dace in the corner. The crowd responds by starting up a chant of “YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK!” Flesher dismissively waves off the crowd, then turns and uses the momentum in an afterthought of a palm strike. The defenseless Unholy Trinity member staggers out of the corner, stunned, and tries to fight, but Doubly Jeopardy holds him back in the corner. Flesher turns, points at Va’aiga, and shouts, “Hey, you gonna leave your partner out in the cold?!” Angered, the Maori Monster steps into the ring. Referee Nick Soapdish sees him out of the corner of his eye and, being a good official, immediately turns to stop him from illegally entering. He holds Va’aiga back, calmly asking him to return to his corner. As Strangler tries to calm Va’aiga, Flesher throws an absolutely flagrant kick to Dace’s groin. Dace doubles over, and as Soapdish turns back around, Quiz and Show release his arms. Flesher grabs Dace around the waist and effortlessly arches his back, throwing his adversary to the mat with a Railgun suplex! He rolls over and lets Soapdish count

 

 

ONE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Dace kicks out! “Dace Night, showing the toughness so characteristic of the Unholy Trinity,” says Comet. “Surely, in this match, justice will prevail!”

 

“Don’t you think it would be unjust to see the best wrestler in the SWF today lose, Comet?”

 

“Yes, Citizen Riley, it would. Clearly, the match can only end with the Boston Strangler’s arm raised in victory over a vanquished foe!”

 

Dace rolls out of the cover and moves for his corner. Flesher, however, stops him by grabbing his ankle. Tom backs up, torquing the ankle as he does. He applies an ankle lock and falls backwards, scissoring the leg and tagging Quiz in as he does! Quiz grabs the top rope, pulling back and slingshotting himself in to land on Dace with a somersault senton! The crowd boos as Show encourages him, shouting “BIG BUCKS! BIG BUCKS!” He rolls Dace to his back for

 

 

ONE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NO! Dace kicks out, his wind still knocked out. Quiz tags in Show, who enters the ring and smirks as he looks at his battered opponent. With that, he lifts him into the air and locks on the body vise known as Body Language! Immediately, the fans begin to boo.

 

“You have to give Celebrity Jeopardy some credit,” says Comet. “The strategy being employed by Citizen Show at this juncture is nothing short of spectacular!”

 

“Well, obviously. After all, any time you can fatigue…”

 

“The only fatigue dealt with by this strategy is that of the bladder, good man Robert.”

 

“What the-?”

 

“Pissbreak!”

 

Comet stands up and starts to shuffle away from the table, but Riley grabs him by the cape and yanks him back to the seat. Comet sighs sadly and laments, “My back teeth are floating on the tides of justice.”

 

As Show holds on to the bearhug, Flesher leans over the top rope and shouts, “HEY, get your big ass back to Australia!” Va’aiga’s eyes open wide, and his face contorts into a mask of anger as Comet explains, “As we know, comparing Va’aiga to an Australian would be roughly equivalent to asking an ethnic Albanian how his dear friend Mr. Milosevic is.” Va’aiga storms into the ring, and once again, Nick Soapdish devotes his energy to ordering him back to his corner. Show knowingly backs up closer to the corner, and as he squeezes the life out of the High Priest of Horrorcore, Tom Flesher climbs onto the ropes. With surgical precision, he pokes Dace in the left eye, then the right, and follows it up with a crisp bitchslap. The crowd boos at the flagrant chicanery, as Riley notes, “Obviously, that was more for the psychological effects than any real damage.”

 

“Clearly, since Flesher didn’t injure Dace at all.”

 

“Eh, he could have but he didn’t want to.”

 

As TBS once again gets Va’aiga calmed down, Flesher reaches in and tags Show on the shoulder to reenter the ring. Show dutifully releases Dace, who starts crawling toward the corner. Flesher watches him intently, following behind him in baby steps. As Dace gets close to the corner, Flesher bends down, and with Dace’s hand only inches from Va’aiga’s, Flesher grabs his ankle and yanks him backwards with a smirk. The crowd boos, and Flesher cockily backs up. He reaches down and yanks Night to his feet, quickly crossing his arms across his stomach. Flesher starts to arch back for a Straitjacket suplex, but Night fights! “There’s no way out of this,” says Riley dismissively. “You can’t fight with your arms trapped.”

 

Night, of course, does have a vote, and exercises it by gripping Flesher’s hands and somersaulting! He drives the surprised Superior One into the mat with a granby roll, freeing his hands and hooking Flesher by the leg and head for

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Flesher gets free and rolls to his stomach, trying to get his bearings. Dace, also a little shaken by the granby roll, turns to face Flesher. Tom acts on instinct, grabbing the High Priest in a tight front facelock and stretching him out to forestall his escape. Dace, though, grits his teeth and fights his way to his feet. Flesher tightens the front facelock, but Dace clamps down on Flesher’s left arm and passes it by in the classic amateur escape. He keeps the left arm and pulls Flesher in, rocking him with a short-arm clothesline! Stunned, Flesher collapses to the mat, and Dace covers him for

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE-NO!!!!! Flesher gets a shoulder up and tries to get to his feet. Dace grabs him, though, and directs him to the Boston Trinity corner. With a hard shove, Dace guides Flesher to his position and politely offers his hand to Va’aiga. The Maori tags in, and just for good measure, Dace hits Flesher with a bony elbowsmash to keep him in place. Va’aiga enters the ring and stares Flesher down for a moment before, to the cheers of the crowd, screaming “MY HOUSE~!” Flesher throws a palm strike, trying to catch Va’aiga while he’s shouting, but the Maori Badass simply shrugs off the blow and answers with a hard left cross! Flesher eats the fist and tries to respond with another shotei, but Va’aiga nails him with another left cross, and another! He winds up, looking almost like a Pacific Island version of Bluto, then kisses his fist and hails Flesher with a hard right hook! Va’aiga, along with the whole crowd, screams “BOOYAH!” Again, Flesher tries to throw a shotei while he’s shouting, but succeeds only in throwing off his own balance and stumbling out of the corner, falling pathetically on his face.

 

“What a display on the part of the Maori Badass!” says Comet. “…though he should work on his nickname a bit.”

 

“Oh, he got lucky.”

 

Va’aiga rolls Flesher onto his back and covers him for

 

ONE!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Quiz jumps into the ring!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE-NO! Quiz drops an elbow onto Va’aiga’s back, breaking up the pin, if only nominally. Va’aiga looks up, glaring at Quiz like he’s a mosquito. Quiz backs up, holding his hands up and begging off as the giant Islander advances toward him! Before Va’aiga knows what hit him, though, Flesher nails him with an uppercut to the groin! Nick Soapdish, oblivious to the foul, simply ushers Quiz back to the corner as Flesher rolls Va’aiga into a schoolboy!

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!!!!

 

Va’aiga rolls through, his monstrous body extending to tag in the Boston Strangler! The crowd roars its approval as Flesher, shocked, looks up to see the World Champion entering the ring! Tom stands up, looks to Strangler, then backs away. He waves one finger at TBS as if to say “Not today, Albert.” He then cockily backs into his corner and tags in Show.

 

“You have to wonder about that move,” says Riley. “Tagging in the newest wrestler in the match to square off with the World Champion.”

 

Strangler throws a punch, which Show absorbs and answers back in kind! Show rocks Strangler with his right hand, and Strangler responds the same way! Soon enough, the two giants are throwing stiff right hands back and forth, going punch-for-punch!

 

“Seems to be working, though,” muses Bobby.

 

Strangler throws one exceptionally hard punch, and Show staggers backwards, almost to one knee. The fans cheer TBS, who follows him and nails him again! He continues hammering Show, with Show taking an unsteady step back each time… until Strangler finds himself in the Celebrity Jeopardy corner! Tom Flesher grabs Nick Soapdish by the sleeve and pulls him aside. As he asks him, “Nicky, are we wrestling one fall or best of three?”, Quiz leaps into the air and springs off the middle rope. Soapdish answers “One fall” calmly, as Quiz blindsides the Champion with an enzuigiri! Flesher nods cordially as Show recovers, throwing a right hand to explain why Strangler is suddenly stunned and staggering. He grabs Strangler by the chest, then kicks his leg out from under him and slams him to the mat with an STO!

 

“And Strangler collects the Lovely Parting Gift!” shouts Riley as Show gets back to his feet, then tags Flesher in. He grabs Strangler by the legs and starts revolving, using the giant swing known as the Winning Spin! Show spins five, six, seven times, and on the eighth rotation, Tom Flesher leaps into the air and intercepts Strangler with a dropkick to the head! Strangler’s head nearly snaps off his body, and he collapses to the mat in a heap. Flesher cockily rolls onto him for

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

“He got him!” shouts Comet! “Wait, no he didn’t!” Soapdish waves the fall off, holding up two fingers and pointing at Strangler’s left shoulder, just barely off the mat. Flesher leaps to his feet, screaming “THAT WAS THREE!” Soapdish, a little intimidated, backs off, holding up two fingers. Flesher slaps his hands together three times, despite the crowd’s insistent bellow of “TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“Flesher’s right! That was three!”

 

“Nay, Citizen Riley, it was clearly only two. After all, the referee is clearly the only enforcer of justice in the ring. Besides, he has every incentive to end the match quickly, so any choice he makes to extend the match is clearly fair.”

 

“Oh, and what’s so pressing that he needs to end the match as soon as possible, oh great one?”

 

“He needs a pissbreak, too.”

 

As Flesher argues with Soapdish, Strangler inches away, trying to shake off the effects of the sickening Winning Spin dropkick. Flesher, off in his own little world of screaming and arguing, doesn’t pay any attention as Strangler tags in Dace, or even when Soapdish signals a fair tag! In fact, he doesn’t even realize what happened until Dace ducks down and grabs him for an Electric Chair lift! Flesher’s eyes widen as he goes into the air, and Dace quickly sits out, slamming Flesher back-first to the mat! He hooks Flesher’s legs for the cover, but before Soapdish can even count, Quiz grabs him by the ankle again! Soapdish stands up, shouting that he won’t be fooled again. Show, meanwhile, enters the ring, followed by Va’aiga and the Strangler from the other side!

 

“This one’s a true benchclearer!” shouts Comet. “And, like the Red Sox beating New York, this one’s going to end with Boston on top and the yanks flat on their backs!”

 

Show makes a beeline for Strangler, grabbing him in hopes of giving him another lovely parting gift in the form of an STO! Strangler feels it coming, though, and intercepts Show with a hard elbow smash to the head that draws a cheer from the crowd (along with an honor chant of “DAN-E! *boom boom* DAN-E! *boom boom!”)! Show staggers backwards, and Strangler whips him to a corner! Meanwhile, as Dace holds Flesher tight in the pinning predicament, Quiz shoves Soapdish out of the way and nails the High Priest of Horrorcore with a dropkick to the back of the head! Dace, blindsided, lets Flesher go and slumps backwards. Va’aiga rumbles in, grabbing Quiz by the head and introducing him to the turnbuckle! Meanwhile, Show starts to rally his defense, pounding Strangler with sledgehammer-like fists!

 

“This is turning into a quintessential debacle!” says Comet, as smoothly as it could possibly be said. “A veritable pier six brawl! A rumble in the jungle! A job for CYCLOOOOOOONE COMET!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Comet stands up again, but Riley grabs him by the cape and yanks him back to his seat once more and growls, “You’re not getting to that urinal until the match is over, damn it!”

 

Strangler fights back, until finally Show has no choice but to grab him by the legs and try to back body drop him over the ropes to the floor! Strangler goes for a ride, but manages to control his fall and land on his feet thanks to his enormous size! He grabs Show by the foot and pulls him out of the ring, hoping to avenge the attempted toss to the concrete!

 

Va’aiga, meanwhile, grabs the comparatively tiny Quiz and lifts him up like a ragdoll, then slams him to the mat with a Southern Lights Bomb! Dace and Flesher, both still stunned, look on, and Soapdish makes no effort to count the illegal cover that Va’aiga makes. Soapdish shouts that Flesher and Night are the legal men, but Va’aiga doesn’t even bother listening. Instead, he lifts the bastard child of Chuck Woolery into the air for a press slam!

 

“Could it be…?” asks Comet forebodingly.

 

“He’s going to go for the press slam Maori Drop!” screams Riley. “This man’s an animal! He’s got no regard for the safety of others!”

 

As Show and Strangler continue battling, Va’aiga starts to drop Quiz to the mat… but Quiz shifts his weight and instead of falling into a Maori Drop, grabs Va’aiga’s head and spins into a falling DDT! The fans boo loudly as Quiz slides out of the ring, baiting the Badass to follow him to the outside! When the monstrous Pacific Islander realizes what happened, he rumbles out of the ring, following Quiz! The smaller member of Double Jeopardy achieves simple decoy status, as the Maori Badass is content to simply pound him to a pulp on the outside!

 

“Va’aiga doesn’t even realize he’s playing into Quiz’s plans!” says Riley. “It’s the perfect crime!”

 

“CRIME?!!?!”

 

“Oh, relax! It’s just an expression!”

 

Flesher begins to stir on the inside as Show takes control on the outside. He locks Strangler into a Body Language bearhug, and the fans groan loudly. This time, though, it’s not out of boredom, but disappointment that Strangler will be occupied for even a few more seconds as Flesher finally gets to his feet. Show drives Strangler backwards into the turnbuckle, occupying him, and Quiz tries to bail for the back to escape the continuing beating at the hands of Va’aiga. Flesher grabs Dace and yanks him to his feet, crossing his arms tightly over his stomach. Quiz makes it to the back, and Va’aiga chases him back. Strangler tries to break the Body Language bearhug, but can’t get past the constant slamming into the cornerpost.

 

Flesher tightens his grip on Dace’s arms, but Dace resists what he knows will be a dangerous pinning predicament! He wriggles and writhes, trying to get enough space to set up another granby roll. Flesher puts up a fight, but in the end, Dace rolls forward despite Flesher’s efforts to stop him!

 

Flesher, however, stays standing behind him.

 

“Incredible! Flesher countered Dace’s counter!” says Riley. “I tell you, he’s got one of the greatest wrestling minds we’ve ever seen!”

 

“To the contrary, Citizen Riley. To be a true wrestling mind, one has to be able to use the opponent’s momentum against him and anticipate three moves ahead in the proverbial game of human chess. Flesher, rather than working in the classical endgames, simply reached across the board and stole a pawn!”

 

As Dace hits the mat in a seated position, he reaches out to grab Flesher’s leg and head for a cradle. When he realizes they aren’t there, he turns to look behind him, only to be met by a Doc Marten to the face! Dace slumps forward, and Flesher kicks him derisively in the spine, just for good measure. Then, with Dace out of the loop, Flesher drops to his knees and locks on a reverse facelock.

 

“Oh yeah!” shouts Riley. “Stretch him out, Taamo!”

 

“Citizen Flesher, once the cake batter, now takes on the role of eggbeater,” says Comet sullenly.

 

Flesher tightens the dragon sleeper, then steps around Dace’s back. He rotates the High Priest of Horrorcore from a seated position onto his stomach, then plants his boots on the mat. He pulls the dragon sleeper backwards, contorting Dace in directions the human body isn’t meant to bend. He tightens the back-mounted dragon sleeper, cinching the Superior Stretch Beta! The Boston Strangler sees what’s happening and turns toward the ring, but Show holds on to the bearhug! As Dace holds out, gritting his teeth, Strangler throws a stiff elbow and, through sheer will, hammers Show hard enough, enough times in succession, to finally break the hold! His chest heaving, Strangler slides into the ring, but Show grabs his ankle and holds on for dear life!

 

 

Finally, Dace Night can take no more.

 

 

 

TAP!

 

TAP!

 

TAP!

 

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Immediately, “Kashmir” begins to blare over the loudspeaker, and Flesher releases the hold. Dace grabs his neck, and Show releases Strangler’s ankle. Nick Soapdish starts to raise Flesher’s hand, but Flesher slides out of the ring, sprinting away from Strangler as fast as he can.

 

“Your winners,” says Funyon, “Celebrity Jeopardy!”

 

The crowd boos loudly, and Riley says, “Flesher, Quiz and Show take this one home, through careful use of tag team strategy and Flesher’s superior wrestling skill!”

 

“Or by distracting Va’aiga,” sighs Comet. “You can bet Double Jeopardy hasn’t seen the last of the Unholy Trinity.”

 

“And the Boston Strangler hasn’t seen the last of Tom Flesher! Don’t touch that dial, we’ll be back right after this-”

 

“Pissbreak!”

[Guest Goodear]

I'm really not surprised that I lost this time around considering. I really wasn't feeling the flow here and felt both guys were a bit too methodical and similar to really mesh together. Oh course Judgers proves me wrong... BASTARD =-) But at least I got to break out some age and height jokes and isn't that why we're here?

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“And welcome back to the joy that is SmarkDown, I am the CYCLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE COMET. And this is some guy named Riley.”

 

“I’m starting to think that you’re starting to lose your passion for me.”

 

“Quite frankly I never had any passion for you and if you ever say that again, you’re going to get a face full of gamma vision. Hopefully you’ll mutate into something useful.”

 

NOW TESTIFY!

 

With the sound of Rage Against the Machine ushering one member of the main event down to the ring, the announcers change their focus from competitive banter to discussing the upcoming match up.

 

The Cyclone Comet speaks, “And here comes Judge William Hearford for the match a whole lot of people have been looking forward to all week long as Justice and Rule EXPLODE.”

 

Riley answers, “Last time these two got put in a match together, nothing was on the line and the team decided to battle it out in a battle of ping pong. This time a shot at the SWF World Champion hangs in the balance so you know that both Hearford and Ejiro are going to be more than willing to pull out all the stops. And by that I mean they are for more likely to hit each other with a chain.”

 

“Might as well boil it down all the way to the lowest levels huh Riley?”

 

Hopping up into the ring, Judge Hearford pulls off his Justice and Rule jersey and flings it out of the ring. And while it might not mean much to some, to others it signals that he is no longer thinking the slightest bit about the record breaking success that he and Ejiro Fasaki has as a team. Totally focused on the task at hand, Hearford paces back and forth paying no attention to even the sound of the crowd that is less than happy to see him.

 

“MENTAL MIDGET! CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP! MENTAL MIDGET! CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP!”

 

The Comet’s voice rings through television sets once again, “As you fans can all see, Judge Hearford is all business here. It looks as though he is leaving his emotion at the door here as he is moments away from possibly maiming his closest ally in all of the SWF.”

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, CAN YOU SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!”

 

With the sounds of the National Anthem playing throughout the crowd, United States Champion Ejiro Fasaki wanders through the ring entrance with Wildchild just a few steps behind waving the colorful Stars and Stripes. Stopping about halfway to the ring, Fasaki looks out to the people in the Ford Center and gives them a hearty salute, which is met with its usual disdain. Sliding into the ring as Wildchild takes up his usual position at the side of the ring, Ejiro looks at his tag team partner with a little wink before walking up to Funyon and pulling away the ring announcer’s microphone.

 

Speaking into his newly acquired microphone, Ejiro begins to speak. “Well here we are Bill. You and me are going to fight just for the chance of getting the SWF World Heavyweight Title. Who would have thought that you would have lived this long? The guys in back and I were sure that you were going to have a heart attack by now. But you proved us wrong Billy my boy. And if there is one thing I can’t stand its someone proving me wrong…”

 

Stamping into the center of the ring, the usually rather stoic Hearford reaches out and snatches the microphone right out of Fasaki’s clutches. “And here I thought the one thing you couldn’t stand was in line for certain roller coasters. I really can not tell you how many times people told me that you really couldn’t get any lower as a person. I always told them that you could always take the lifts out of your shoes you midget bastard…”

 

With the crowd reeling from the burns that the two members of The Magnificent Seven are searing into each other, Ejiro and William look about three seconds away from trying to murder each other. But referee Eddy Long is sure to keep both men apart until the match can officially begin. Standing to the side, Funyon finally takes center stage and begins to announce both competitors.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” calls out the ring announcer, “this next contest is scheduled for one fall and is part of the G4 Tournament. Introducing first, he is a former SWF Hardcore Gamers Champion, a former SJL World Heavyweight Champion, and a former SWF Tag Team Champion. He weighs in tonight at 242 pounds and stands six feet tall. From Royal Oak, Michigan … please welcome, THE JUDGE WILLIAM HEARFORRRRRRRD~!”

 

Simply raising an arm while keeping both eyes right on his partner, The Judge looks ready and willing to dish out the punishment needed to advance on in the G4 tournament. But his physicality is just going to have to wait for a moment until Funyon finishes his announcing duties.

 

“And his opponent hails from Sarasota, Florida, stands 5’8” tall and weighs in tonight at 188 pounds. His a former SJL World Heavyweight Champion, a former SJL European Champion…”

 

“Ejiropean,” mutters Fasaki.

 

“A former SWF World Tag Team Champion and the current SWF United States Heavyweight Champion. He is EEEEEEJIROOOOOO FASAKIIIIIIII!”

 

Hopping up to the middle rope, Ejiro lifts the United States Title belt high to the people as they continue to reign down a number of boos to their rather indignant champion. Leaping off the ropes, Fasaki passes the belt off to a ringside attendant before pulling off his Justice and Rule jersey and flings it right into the face of his opponent for the night. Knocking the jersey away almost casually The Judge stares right at his partner in the longest reigning tag team champions in the history of the SWF with a look that betrays no brotherhood that the two men must share on some level. But now that Funyon is out of the ring and Eddy Long signals for the bell the only thing that matters is who wants to be World Champion more.

 

DING! DING!

 

“So with only seconds left in this one,” notes The Comet, “what do you think is going to be the deciding factor in this match, Citizen Riley?”

 

Bobby returns the serve, “Whichever wrestler is able to change up his strategy most effectively is going to be the guy that comes out of there with the win. As much as they know about each other from teaming, the one that has learned the most since then is the one who is going to come out on top. The one wrestler that has been holding something back the longest will be the one who survives this contest.”

 

Meeting together in the center of the ring, the two men lock together in a collar-and-elbow for nearly a second before The Judge uses his superior strength to toss Fasaki’s arms high before diving into his chest and taking Fasaki down to the mat with a double leg take down. Immediately using his weight to keep Ejiro down on the canvas, The Judge clamps down on Fasaki with a headlock and uses it to drag the smaller wrestler off the canvas and to his feet. Easily dropping to a knee, The Judge uses the leverage to send Ejiro over and mash him into the mat once again with a take down as Fasaki struggles to get loose. But before Ejiro can effect an escape, Judge uses the headlock once again to pull Ejiro off the canvas. Reaching back with one hand, Hearford uses the arm to pivot around Fasaki and grab him from behind with a waist lock. Jerking strait up with the lock, Hearford lifts Fasaki right off the canvas before jamming him down on his face right in the center of the ring.

 

“Interesting strategy from the Justice portion of the former tag team champions,” notes The Cyclone Comet. “He is using his power advantage to control Fasaki and slam him into the canvas but not using the holds long so that Ejiro doesn’t have time to counter his way out on the canvas.”

 

With Ejiro temporarily stunned from being slammed against the mat, Hearford floats over Fasaki’s body and locks down with a front facelock. Once again using his hold to control Fasaki, Hearford pulls Ejiro up off the canvas once again before hooking Fasaki up and taking him over with a snap suplex. Snapping across the mat, Fasaki has about a half a second to hold his back in pain before Hearford is there once again to put once a reverse chinlock with a knee jammed right into the small of Rule’s back. Pulling back on Ejiro’s head, Judge sits in a hold a bit longer this time as Fasaki calls out in pain from the superior strength being used on his head. But Ejiro does not sit there for long as he turns to one side to relieve the pressure from the knee in his back and quickly works his way back up to his feet. But before he can do anything to escape the hold, Hearford reaches around and grabs a handful of hair to slam Ejiro right back down to the canvas.

 

“Hearford uses the hair and I don’t think any of us can be really surprised by that,” remarks The Cyclone Comet. “Either one of these guys would do anything to win and that totally includes low blowing their own mothers to do it.”

 

“But they are not in the ring with their mothers,” questions Riley. “Plus I am not sure just how effective hitting their moms in the groin would be all that effective. But I have to admit that that I’m not that familiar with female anatomy.”

 

“Believe me Riley,” answers The Comet, “we all know just how much knowledge you have of women.”

 

Clamped down to the mat, Hearford keeps the chinlock locked in tightly as Ejiro struggles to fight his way free from underneath his larger opponent. Fighting up once again underneath the pressure, Ejiro manages to fight his way up to his knees as Hearford struggles to keep him down on the canvas. But still Fasaki manages to squirm up to his feet and send an elbow right into the gut of his opponent. Trying to slam his way loose, Fasaki continues to aim elbows into Hearford’s stomach in order to effect an escape. But rather than just stand there and take elbows, William grabs Fasaki by the hair once again and sends him slamming against the mat once again. Pulling Fasaki off the canvas, Hearford pushes the stunned Ejiro into the turnbuckles where he can deliver a bit more high impact offense. And deliver he does as The Judge fires off one of his savage chops against Ejiro’s chest.

 

SMACK!

 

“WHOOOO!”

 

SMACK!

 

“WHOOOO!”

 

Slicing off the top layer of Fasaki’s skin with sadistic glee, Hearford leans into Ejiro and snags a hold of his wrist before using it to sling Fasaki across the ring with an Irish whip. Slamming into the turnbuckle with all of his weight, Ejiro rebounds back into the icy grip of Judge Hearford who is only too happy to wrap his arms around Fasaki in order to send him over with a belly-to-belly suplex. But before Hearford can continue the throw, Ejiro quickly jams his head forward in order to head BUTT The Judge right in the bridge of the nose. Only stalling Hearford for a moment, Ejiro quickly thinks of a more permanent way out of the throw as he jams a finger right into the eyes of his captor. Blinded momentarily, The Judge releases Ejiro and stammers back a few steps as he attempts to wipe his eyes free of the pain. But before Hearford can recover he finds Ejiro’s feet placed right in his face as Fasaki leaps into the air with a dropkick! Knocked flat on his back, Hearford quickly attempts to roll away as Fasaki takes a moment to work out the kinks created by Hearford’s earlier attacks.

 

“And that is what Fasaki is going to have to do to win this thing,” notes The Cyclone Comet. “He is going to have to use his superior agility and speed to counteract the power advantage that The Judge possesses.”

 

And as Hearford rises to his feet, Ejiro once again proves his advantage in speed by once again sending The Judge down to the canvas with a glancing dropkick across the chest. Instantly pressing his advantage Ejiro swarms over Hearford with a number of short right hands strait into the face of the Judge while the judicial figure struggles to get up under the pounding. Quickly trying to keep the advantage where it lies, Ejiro grabs The Judge by the wrist and uses it to propel him into the ropes. On the rebound The Judge soon finds himself higher in the air than he typically cares to be as Ejiro elevates him up and over with a backdrop toss. Continuing to keep the pace moving Fasaki once more is there to stun Hearford with a short punch to the face before trying to send Hearford into a corner with an Irish whip. But using his forty-pound weight advantage, The Judge is able to reverse the whip and send Ejiro across the ring instead. Following Ejiro in however does not prove to be as effective as Fasaki manages to lift a knee into the face of the charging Hearford and knock him back a few steps into the center of the ring. Quickly trying to keep momentum on his side, Ejiro pulls himself right up to the middle rope before leaping at the turning Hearford with a middle rope cross body block.

 

“He caught him!” calls out The Cyclone Comet as The Judge uses his wide chest to absorb the impact of Ejiro’s leap.

 

“But what is he going to do with him from here?” replies Bobby Riley. “I mean who takes a deposit on short Asian wrestlers anymore?”

 

Holding Ejiro in position for a slam, William makes sure to keep a sure grip on Fasaki’s head as he rapidly swings Ejiro’s legs around so that the United States Champion lands on his feet for about a half of a second. Which allows Ejiro barely a chance to think before Judge leans in and drives him strait to the canvas with his ‘closing arguments’ variation of the STO! Quickly hooking Fasaki up as tightly as possible, The Judge holds on tightly as Eddy Long makes the three count.

 

ONE!

 

TWOOOOOOOOONOOOOOTENOUGH!

 

Kicking out before the referee can even bring his hand down for the second time, Ejiro makes sure that his in no danger of losing this contest early as Hearford looks at the referee with a questioning glare about the cadence of the count. But that will not stop The Judge from continuing to dish out whatever punishment he can to the annoying United States Champion. Pulling the stunned Ejiro vertical once again, Judge uses a grip on Fasaki’s wrist to send Ejiro out and back with a short arm before wrapping his arms around Fasaki once again and this time successfully sending Fasaki over his head with a belly-to-belly suplex. Tossing Fasaki flying closer to the ropes than Hearford would call optimal; Hearford quickly grabs Ejiro by the arm and pulls him back towards the center of the ring. Getting Ejiro up to his feet once more, The judge tosses a hard knee up into Ejiro’s chest to double him up just enough so Hearford can move around him and lock on an abdominal stretch.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOORING! BOOOOOOOOOORING!”

 

“Come on Comet,” chastises Riley, “It’s a perfectly acceptable hold.”

 

“Sorry Bobby but… blah. Abdominal stretches SUCK.”

 

Cranking down on the hold, The Judge works to press down on Ejiro’s head as much as possible in order to tear the stomach muscles in a way that nature did not intend. But pushing down on the head is only half of the equation as Judge Mental reaches back with his free arm and gripping a hold of the middle ropes for leverage. Looking squarely at Fasaki, Long is none the wiser as Justice continues to bend the rules and Rule into his favor with the stretch. Suspecting that there is going to be some rule breaking with this hold, as there always seems to be, Long quickly looks behind Hearford to make sure he is not doing exactly what he is. Finding out that Hearford is indeed using the ropes, Long tries to break the hold physically as Hearford uses his hold as long as possible. Finally giving up on the trying to make Hearford break it up, Long just fires a kick that breaks Williams grip on the middle rope and gives Ejiro the chance to straitened out for just a moment before…

 

DING!

 

“Low BLOW!”

 

With all of the referee’s attention on The Judge, Ejiro uses the momentary distraction to sling out his leg behind him and right into the exposed groin of the miserable Judge. Flopping away from his tag team partner as Long looks on quizzically, The Judge lands right on his face as Ejiro drops down to a knee while clutching at his rib cage and coughing up a storm. Dragging himself up, Fasaki comes back to the downed Judge William Hearford and leans into him with a kick across the back that sends William falling forward and across the middle rope with his throat. Seeing the opening he wants Fasaki runs into the ropes and comes crashing right back down onto Hearford’s back with a straddle that causes the entire crowd to yelp in appreciation. Quickly ducking through the ropes, Ejiro takes a walk down the apron as Hearford continues to lean on the middle ropes. That is until Ejiro comes charging back down at The Judge and drives a knee into the side of his head, knocking The Judge right off the ropes and back to the center of the ring. Diving through the ropes after his opponent, Ejiro runs into the ropes more momentum and drops strait down on The Judge with a leaping elbow drop. Ejiro tries to steal the win quickly by hooking The Judge up for a cover as Long slides down and makes the count.

 

ONNNNNNNNE!

 

TWOOOOOOOO!

 

THRNOOOOOOOOOOOTGONNAHAPPEN!

 

Hearford kicks out before the fatal three count can be called and begins to shake his head furiously to show that he is not out of this match just yet. But Ejiro is not about to just let The Judge just hang around and recover so Fasaki is right there to use a snap mare to send Judge over into a seated position for just a moment. Leaning into the ropes for more momentum, Ejiro leaps over The Judge and uses the Hennig neck snapper to continue the punishment that seems to be aimed at Hearford’s neck.

 

“One has to wonder if Ejiro has some sort of insider knowledge coming into this match that told him where to center his assault,” explains The Cyclone Comet. “One has to think that two guys that travel together and talk together all the time would know all the little nagging problems each other has.”

 

Continuing to put a bulls-eye right at The Judge’s neck as he hammers down on it with a clubbing forearm. Changing to the elbow, Ejiro once again goes after the head with a terrific blow to the orbital occipital protuberance. Dropping down to a knee, Hearford keeps an eye on Fasaki hits the ropes to once again to deliver more punishment to the neck.

 

WHAMMMM!

 

But instead, The Judge explodes right out of the stance and hammers right into Fasaki with a rising clothesline that sends the smaller Fasaki spinning head over heels from the force of the impact! Devastated by the shot, Ejiro is barely able to even feel it as Judge pushes him over to his back and applies a cover.

 

ONNNNNNNE!

 

TWOOOOOOO!

 

THREEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

With Ejiro kicking out of his cover, Hearford quickly looks to get this match over with by pulling Fasaki up strait and delivering a boot square in the chest of his opponent in or to drop him down into a crouch. Quickly locking down on Fasaki with a standing head scissors and leans down in order to grab a hold of both of Fasaki’s arms in order to deliver the Capitol Punishment powerbomb. But Fasaki knows exactly what is coming and forces both of his arms away from his body so The Judge can’t lock them up across each other. But that proves to be only a minor problem for Hearford as he pulls both arms together over the top of Ejiro’s back with a double arm hold.

 

“Is he going for the Ejirocution?” questions The Cyclone Comet as Hearford tries desperately to pull Ejiro vertically the ground and spike him into the canvas.

 

“HE IS! But Ejiro knows the counter for his own piledriver!” recalls Riley as Fasaki manages to force his arms together in order to break the double arm and squirm free of Justice’s grip.

 

Stilling holding onto on of the arms, Ejiro uses it to flash behind The Judge and reach back in order to hook the other arm once again before driving forward and pulling Hearford into position for a backslide pinning combination.

 

ONE!

 

TWOOOONOOOOOOOOOABACKSLIDE? WHOISGOINGTOBUYTHAT?

 

Managing to throw his weight over his own shoulder, The Judge manages to rise at the same rate as Ejiro and once again manages to jam a foot right into Ejiro’s stomach before spiking him into the canvas with the DDT. Landing right on his head, Ejiro flips right over onto his back from the force of the move and lies there unmoving for just a second before Hearford pulls his leg in and makes another cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREEENNNNNNAHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Staggered from the impact of the DDT, Fasaki barely gets a shoulder off the canvas just in time to avoid getting eliminated at this juncture. But The Judge would really like that juncture to be soon and works towards that goal by getting to his feet and dropping an elbow down on his tag team championship partner. Flipping Ejiro over onto his stomach, The Judge leans over his opponent and reaches down in order to pull him up into a camel clutch. Yanking up of Fasaki’s skull, Hearford demands that his stable mate calls it quits only to have Fasaki refuse to give up the ghost. So rather than hold onto the chinlock until Fasaki finds a counter, The Judge pulls of Ejiro and jams a knee down onto the back of the United States Champion. Moving into a corner, Hearford looks right at Ejiro while loading up something as Fasaki struggles to move up to his feet once more. And once he does, Mental lets loose with a superkick designed to take a number of teeth out of Ejiro’s face.

 

“Fasaki caught the leg!”

 

Catching the boot an inch from his face, Ejiro spins William around with the leg while spinning at exactly the same moment and crushing Hearford’s face with a huge spinning elbow across the jaw! Slamming into the canvas with his back, Hearford looks to be just about out of commission as Fasaki virtually collapses on The Judge for a pin attempt!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREEEEENNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Kicking out in time, The Judge looks to roll away and to the safety of the ropes only to have Fasaki pluck him off the canvas and send Hearford into the ropes. Charging ahead and right into his partner in crime, Fasaki slams an elbow right into William once again in order to send Hearford down to the canvas. Quickly darting behind the once again rising Judge, Ejiro grips Hearford before lifting him off the canvas and driving him backward into the canvas with a belly-to-back suplex that causes The Judge to virtually bounce off the canvas. Rolling over the top once again, Fasaki tries to steal a victory with another lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREEEEEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

With The Judge kicking out once again, Fasaki nearly explodes in rage at the referee regarding the cadence of the count. Grabbing Judge and pushing him back into a corner, Ejiro lets loose his anger in a constructive manner as he buries elbow after elbow right into the face and neck of his opponent time and again. Backing out of the corner as Hearford reels back and forth like a tipsy drunk after a few too many Shirley Temples as Fasaki looks out to the people with a fire in his eye and once again fires off one of his trademark salutes to the populace.

 

“FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI!”

 

Smiling at the familiar chant, Ejiro looks at the wobbly Judge as he comes stumbling out of the corner. Slapping down on his own elbow, Fasaki seems primed to take Hearford out with one last shot to the head. Finally seeing The Judge in the position that he wants, Ejiro leans into the ropes and looks to knock out Hearford with a 188-pound missile to the face!

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHHH” *THUNK*!

 

“What a huge counter move by Hearford!” calls out The Cyclone Comet.

 

Sidestepping the charge, William grabs Fasaki right by the hair and throws him all the way over the top rope and to the arena floor where Fasaki lands in a sickening heap of humanity. Motioning to the referee to begin the count out, The Judge soon retreats to a corner in order to allow Long to make the ten count. Or more accurately, allow Long to count out Fasaki while The Judge pulls a turnbuckle pad off in order to expose the steel hook below.

 

“Oh this does not bode well for Fasaki,” notes The Cyclone Comet, “you just know that Hearford will be more than happy to smash him into that buckle at a moment’s notice.”

 

Sliding back underneath the bottom rope, Ejiro finds himself under assault once again as Hearford hits him right in the face with a heavy European uppercut across the face. Tossing another uppercut into Fasaki’s face knocks the United States Champion right down to the canvas with one fell blow. Immediately back on his opponent, Hearford hauls Ejiro Fasaki right up onto his shoulder. Heading right for the exposed buckle, Hearford looks to knock his tag team partner out with one fell swoop with a snake eyes drop. But before he can get that far, Hearford soon finds that his prey is no longer in his grasp! Falling backward right out of The Judge’s grip, Fasaki finds himself on his feet behind the wrestling lawyer. Shoving forward with all his strength, Fasaki sends William’s head impacting right off the steel!

 

CLANG!

 

Hearford stumbles backward with his eyes crossed just for a moment before Ejiro turns the stunned Judge around and hooks him around the head before driving him down to the canvas!

 

“SURPRISE WITNESS! SURPRISE WITNESS!”

 

“He got him with the ace crusher!”

 

Quickly moving over his downed tag team partner, Fasaki hooks The Judge up as tightly as he can as the referee makes a resounding count throughout the arena!

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNE!

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Comet yells into his microphone, “What a shocker! Judge tried earlier to put Fasaki away with Ejiro’s own finisher only to get put down by his own variation on the ace crusher. But you have to think that the run into the turnbuckle really did him no favors.”

 

“Well no kidding Comet,” answers Bobby Riley, “but I think both men knew that is was going to turn into a battle of who could get away with more from the referee. The question really is now how is Hearford going to react to the loss? Are we going to see one of the most successful tag teams in the SWF break up right before our eyes or what?”

 

Crawling into the ring, Funyon calls into his microphone, “The winner of this contest and advancing in the G4 Tournament, EEEEEEEJIROOOOOOO FASAKIIIIIIIII~!”

 

Fighting his way off his shoulders a moment too late, The Judge almost sprints up to his feet as Ejiro struggles his way over to a corner and pulls himself up to his feet. The crowd, stunned by the abrupt ending to the match, continues to buzz excitedly as Hearford kicks at the turnbuckle with a fury that seems only moments away from release once again. Knowing this Fasaki seems to drop into a defensive stance in a corner as Hearford stalks his tag team partner once again. With the crowd seemingly on his side for once in his life, The Judge appears to be ready and willing to try and murder Ejiro Fasaki. Lining up the bruised and battered Fasaki, Hearford sneers once last time before…

 

Extending his hand?

 

“I didn’t see that one coming,” calls out The Comet.

 

“See Comet,” returns Bobby Riley, “here you have two guys who were more than willing to give it all they have in order to win. There’s no animosity and no jealousy. Ejiro Fasaki merely won this time, I’m sure Hearford could have done the same if things would have broke just a little differently.”

 

Smiling broadly at the sign of friendship from his tag team partner, Ejiro quickly reaches out to clasp the now smiling Judge’s hand and pulls Justice into a deep and meaningful hug that makes the entire crowd nearly vomit in disgust. Both men smiling like schoolgirls, Justice and Rule celebrate together as Hearford takes the opportunity to raise Fasaki’s arm high in the air as Referee Eddy Long brings the United States Championship into the ring. Passing the belt to Fasaki, Long exits the ring as Ejiro holds the belt on his shoulder as The Judge gives the strap a mild spit shine as the crowd basically craps on the entire affair.

 

“YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

 

Looking at themselves and then at the crowd, Ejiro and The Judge simply laugh heartily at the boos as the crowd wonders if they are ever going to get any sort of satisfaction out of this match. Well they do not have to wait very long…

 

“What the HELL is THAT?”

 

Running down the aisle and diving into the ring behind the unsuspecting tag team comes a monster of a man that stands in at seven feet tall and looks to be about three hundred and fifty pounds of pure muscle! With half of his hair in cornrows and the other half flung wildly about, this huge African American man looks about three seconds away from killing someone. Unfortunately for Justice and Rule, Judge turns around towards the new entry in the ring at the count of four. His eyes going wide in surprise and alarm. Hearford looks strait into hell as a freight train comes barreling at his face!

 

“SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAAAAAAAAAAAAR~!”

 

Cutting Hearford into two equal portions the mystery man drives him strait into the canvas with enough force to kill a bear! Flopping to the canvas like a flounder out of water, Hearford spasms uncontrollably as the huge man rises off his corpse. Thankfully for Ejiro Fasaki however the sound of the murder is enough to warn him from being the next victim as he slams the huge interloper in the back with the United States title.

 

WHOMP!

 

“Uh oh.”

 

Not selling the shot for even a second, the mystery monster turns his head to stare right into the eyes of a petrified United States champion. Of course, he doesn’t stare for long before he plucks Fasaki off the mat with a huge hand wrapped around Ejiro’s throat. Holding the struggling United States Champion high in the air, the huge interloper spins in place before driving the back of Fasaki’s head strait into the canvas with a spinning chokeslam!

 

“Who is this guy? Where is security? Where are the police?” asks Bobby Riley in a mad panic, as the mystery man stands tall in the middle of the ring soaking up the cheers of the crowd while Justice and Rule roll to the relative safety of the floor.

 

“I don’t who that is Citizen Riley but I know that he just kicked the living hell out of the most dominant tag team in the history of the SWF like they were nothing!” calls out The Cyclone Comet. “But we’ll have to save that question for later as we desperately need to take a commercial break. We’ll be right back fans don’t you dare go away!”

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Tom, for the desperate rush job you had to pull off, you almost won. The extended selling actually wasn't a huge problem for me, but what was problematic was just the whole match flow. I could tell that you had to pound it, as it was a very formulaic match--here's Va'aiga, do his spots, here's Show, do his spots. Excepting the final players a lot of the stuff seemed to be moves for move's sake. It was a bit of a rush and I'm sorry you get hung out to dry on that. But one thing that almost put it over the edge was the excellent Dace/Tom storyline in the center and the reoccurence of the Granby roll. I loved the dynamic you built between the two of them during the match and just might book a Tom/Dace match sometime in the near future to see more of it. I'd encourage everyone to read both six-mans (yeah right) to see the good dynamics each team dabbled in.

 

What sealed it for the Trinity was a similar excellence in playing with Tom's ego and Strangler's counter of the second Ego Trip. Not saying that it was that one sequence on either side that did it, but the fact that both matches maintained a very good internal sense of what had happened before and between each competitor kept them very even on that level. In the end the Trinity match played better with the tag elements and had a super mark-out wall of finishing sequences that just kicked the fun factor up and over. But you did still almost win on a few hours of that which you pulled out of your ass, which I must say is pretty damn admirable.