Styles 0 Report post Posted September 17, 2003 This was sent out as another fun feature of the TNA email newsletter. Enjoy! Point/Counterpoint Raven & Shane Douglas square off in a pre-match war of words READ ON AND LET US KNOW WHO YOU THINK WON THIS VERBAL BATTLE! E-MAIL US AT [email protected]! To the TNA Fans: Shane Douglas is a filthy, wretched, despicable, two-faced, backstabbing, out of shape, past his prime, reprobate. I will shave his hair Wednesday night. I refuse to believe that he even has a chance of shaving mine. I have come up with solutions for every conceivable problem he has thrown at me. Make no mistake about it, whether I'm victorious or defeated and shamed, someone will be shaved bald. This won't be some feeble and hapless attempt to garner buy rates by bringing up stipulations that someone is going re-neg on. There it is... two men walk in - one man walks out to glory, the other to humiliation; a psychic scar that is not easily healed. Welcome to Raven's Clockwork Orange House of Fun. Quote the Raven......Nevermore. Well, well, well... Raven thinks flattery will curb my desire to physically maim and cripple him in this hair -vs- hair match. Well, Raven, kissing my ass will get you nothing more than my ire. You accuse me of being a "filthy, wretched despicable, two-faced, back-stabbing, out-of-shape, past his prime, reprobate". Well just as I do to my opponents in the ring, let me systematically analyze, and then debunk (or agree!) with you charge. I plead guilty to the charge of wretched despicability. I am that, indeed, and so much more. I am hatred incarnate when it comes to my opponents in the ring. As for being two-faced and a back-stabber, it takes one to know one but show me a successful wrestler in this sport and we are, each and every one of us, guilty to that charge. This is a business where those qualities are rewarded, so to be competetive, you had best be both of those terrible things. Perhaps you'd have been more successful in your career had you been a bit more familiar with those attributes. As for being "out of shape and past my prime", I will respond by saying I WAS in the worst shape of my career a mere three months ago. However, every fan can see for themselves that I have not only gotten back in shape, but I have gotten into perhaps the best shape I've been in since my distinguished and glorious run as THE GREATEST ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF ALL TIME!!! And that's what this is really all about isn't it Raven... this is all about our legacies in this sport. You see, Raven, no two men can occupy the same mountain top. No two men can be the greatest. You claim that you are a wrestler of destiny. Hitler, and many others like him, also avowed destiny as their own. Well, Raven, as history showed all of those wannabe jabronies, you too are sailing right into a quagmire. You do indeed have a rendezvous with A destiny. But WHAT destiny is the question! Let me suggest that your awaiting destiny is defeat and ridicule. You know Raven, I am man enough to admit that you are one hell of a talent in this sport. However, you are not, nor will you ever be a Franchise!!! You have a knack for remunerating things exactly as they are. You are so very right when you state that this match will live up to its billing. One of us will definitely walk out bald. Unlike another said company that promised such and then gave the loser - Kevin Nash - a stylish coif. No, the loser of this match will shine like a billiard ball. If I should lose this match I will allow my head to be shaved bald because, if nothing else, I have always been a man of my word. You stated that you believe you have formed solutions to any concievable problem I can throw at you. Please keep believing that... your theory will be put to the test. Raven, you are a man of exceptional ability but, again you are no Franchise. You are a man of honed skill, but you are no Franchise. You are a man that has sucked up to every corporate entity you have worked for in this sport (ie: Vince McMahon's Johnny Polo; WCW's Scotty The Body; and, yes, Paul Heyman's Raven) and its gotten you nothing until now. By sucking up to the TNA honchos, you've been able to corner me into a match (hair -vs- hair) that I would have never, and should have never agreed to. To the fans, all I will say is.. you will get what you want (Hmmm!!!). See you at the Asylum, HaHaHaHa! Shane Douglas Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Trevor567 Report post Posted September 17, 2003 They forgot to make mention of the Kurt Angle v. Edge match from last year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mecha Mummy 0 Report post Posted September 17, 2003 They forgot to make mention of the Kurt Angle v. Edge match from last year. ... And why the heck would they do that? Fun read, BTW. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Burning Hammer Report post Posted September 17, 2003 Kurt Angle did get shaved bald so nobody would say it didn't live up to the stips. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldSchoolWrestling 0 Report post Posted September 17, 2003 Shane won that argument. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Ghost of bps21 0 Report post Posted September 17, 2003 You know what would be awesome. If Raven (who everyone knows is losing) won the match and they shaved Douglas...then someone new to feud with KOd Raven and shaved him too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldSchoolWrestling 0 Report post Posted September 17, 2003 You know what would be awesome. If Raven (who everyone knows is losing) won the match and they shaved Douglas...then someone new to feud with KOd Raven and shaved him too. I'd mark the fuck out. Except you said it and now ruined it, so I'd only mark a little. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Ghost of bps21 0 Report post Posted September 17, 2003 They aren't that clever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldSchoolWrestling 0 Report post Posted September 17, 2003 They need a "Book this week's show" link where people can email them ideas like this. WWE did this a while back but Vince probably canned every idea submitted. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Ghost of bps21 0 Report post Posted September 17, 2003 That's actually a great idea. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
