Metal commentorama for the 3rd

[Guest Insanityman]

Man, the JL is reaching it's height! Now I just hope for the return of a few of my favorites (Fury, Renegade, Venom, etc.) Then bring my ass back in! You guys own... and MacPhisto that was one of the best comments after in the result.

 

"THE STEAK SAUCE COVERED BASTARD IS BACK WITH A VENGEANCE!!!  T-Bone tops Kojack in a bit of an upset and wins the TV title!  Where's Fury and IL when you need them..."

 

Keep it up guys, kinda' fucks me out of a huge return now that the JL is rocking and LB just returned... but hell when I return I'll be glad to be back. Not too mention in the peak of the JL.

[Guest]

Here is the match that SK claimed to just lose to Frost's match.

 

I'd appreciate comments.

 

My feelings on the match (all my opinion, SK was obviously thinking differently):

Pretty good action, but...

 

I couldn't capture the essence of Edwin, Axis, or SK.  That was my major flaw, I felt.

 

Maybe I'm missing something else.

 

__

Edwin: "Enough talk, let's get on with some bootylicious action tonight on Metal!"

 

King: "...Bootylicious?"

 

Edwin: "You aren't ready for this jelly."

 

Axis: "Edwin, are you drunk again?"

 

Edwin: "No!"

 

*Edwin falls sideways off of his chair*

 

Axis: "...Anyways, I'm really excited about this match coming up.  This Hardcore Submission match between the Icelandian Frost, the lovable Z, and this newcomer, former NCAA collegiate wrestling champion Randy Turner."

 

King: "Former NCAA college champion?  Let me guess, he went to the Olympics, didn't he?"

 

Axis: "Well, almost, he kind of got inj---"

 

King: "Oh geez, another Kurt Angle-wannabe.  Why can't these punks just do what they do best instead of trying to play with the big boys?"

 

Axis: "Let's not pass judgment on this guy yet.  Let's watch him in the ring, OK?"

 

King: "Let me tell you something, alright?  This Randy Turner guy isn’t going to touch Frost.  As for Z...well, I've got one letter for him, and that's a big 'L', because there isn’t no way this loser's going to win!"

 

*Edwin staggers back up to his chair*

 

Edwin: "Let's go to the ringyding for the splendifiriffic introductions from Funyon!  ...I like Funyons!"

 

Funyon: "This next match is scheduled for one fall, and it is a hardcore submission triple threat match!  The first person to make an opponent submit wins the match!"

 

Faith No More's "Epic" hits, and a few fans cheer as Z comes out from the back.  At the beginning of the entranceway, he begins doing the Hulk Hogan "makeshift hearing aid" motion, getting a laugh from a few of the fans, but most just sit back and watch as Z makes a fool out of himself.  Z then finally makes his way down to the ring.

 

Funyon: "Introducing first, from Trenton, New Jersey, and weighing in at 229 pounds, he is Z!"

 

Z slides into the ring, and continues the Hogan taunt, even getting some more cheers as he kept doing it, but they all died down soon enough.

 

King: "Who does this goofball think he is, ripping off an entrance like that?  Pfft, no wonder he's such a loser."

 

King barely got to finish the sentence before the lights went out.

Flash bulbs from cameras light up the arena for split seconds, before a beat hits over the PA.  As the next series of beats hits, a series of pyros from the left side of the entranceway go off, matching time with the beats of System of a Down’s “Prison Song”.  The second series of beats sets off another set of pyros, this time from the right side of the entranceway.  The third series of beats leads up to the big explosion that occurs in the middle of the entranceway that hits when the song begins.  The crowd cheers as, through the smoke, Randy Turner emerges.  He seems very focused, as this is his first match in the SJL, and his first chance to shine.

 

Funyon: "His opponent, from Fort Worth, Texas, weighing in at 268 pounds, RRRAANDY TURNERRRR!

 

Turner begins to stare down Z as he walks up the ring steps towards the ring, and enters the ring.  He goes to the opposite corner of the ring from Z.

 

"Cities on Flame with Rock 'n' Roll" explodes onto the PA system, and the crowd boos towards Frost as he makes his way down to the ring.  His slow stride and his piercing blue eyes seem to make Z a little uneasy, but Randy Turner doesn't even acknowledge his presence.

 

Funyon: "Their opponent, from Reykjavik, Iceland, weighing in at 296 pounds, FFFFFFFROST!"

 

Frost enters the ring, and looks at both Z and Randy Turner, as he gets prepared for the match to start.

 

King: "Look at this guy!  He's a damn giant compared to those two weasels in the ring with him!"

 

Edwin: "I think that Dragon Ball Z in there is going to kick all of their asses, because he's god."

 

Axis and King: "..."

 

King: "Don't give me that crap!  Frost is going to manhandle them and you know it."

 

Axis: "I wouldn't be too sure on that manhandling part, Turner looks pretty tough."

 

King: "Let's see if his skill can back up his look, hmm?"

 

:: DING DING DING ::

 

Randy and Z must have had the same idea, as they both went after Frost to start the match, getting a nice reaction out of the crowd.

 

King: "Hey!  What the hell are those two punks doing!  This isn't a handicap match!"

Axis: "No, but it sure is great strategy!  I mean, Frost is probably the most formidable opponent out there!  If those two men can shut him down, then it can be a one-on-one contest from there."

 

Randy and Z continue to hit right and left hands on Frost, but Frost begins to fight back, going after one person at a time.  He staggers Z with a right hand of his own, and then gives a left to Turner as Turner is going for a right.  Frost then turns his attention towards Z and runs up to him, grabbing his neck and hitting a swinging neckbreaker, bouncing Z off the mat as he connected.  Turner took advantage of Frost's move, however, and charged at Frost, steamrolling over Frost with a running forearm smash as Frost turns around to go after Turner.

 

Axis: "What a hot start to this match, as all 3 men are going at it!"

Edwin: "And what a hot chick in the front row over there!  Hey baby!"

*Edwin waves*

Axis: "Uh...Edwin...that's a dude."

King: "Of course it is a dude, that's why Edwin is waving!  And what's this from Turner, a forearm smash!?  Hahaha!  I apologize, this isn't a Kurt Angle-wannabe, this is Lex Luger's son!"

Axis: "...Bad joke, King."

King: "It's true, it's damn true!"

 

Turner then goes after Z, who is beginning to get to his feet.  Turner tries to get his hands on Z, but Z nails Turner with a right hand to the gut, followed by a left.  Turner staggers backwards, leaving room for Z to charge at Turner for a Western Lariat...Turner ducks it, however, and nails Z with a clothesline of his own as Z turns around.  Turner continues to stomp away at Z, but Frost jumps into the fray and nails Turner with a right hand.  Turner didn't see Frost coming, and he staggers back towards the ropes.  Frost takes advantage of this, clotheslining him over the top rope.

 

Axis: "...And there goes Turner over the top, via Frost."

King: "Well, this match should be wrapped up pretty soon.  No way Z could handle Frost."

Edwin: "I'd like to handle that hot latina momma there in the front row.

Axis: "...Nope, that's another dude."

 

Frost turns his attention to Z, and begins to approach him, slowly.  Frost is able to bring Z to his feet, at which point Frost knees Z in the gut, and then lifts up Z and drops him with a brainbuster.  Z goes headfirst into the mat, and slumps over.  Frost brings Z back to his feet again, and looks to hook on the Cobra Clutch, but Turner nails him from behind with a forearm smash, sending Frost to the mat.  Turner then kicks Z in the gut, puts his head between Turner's legs, and delivers an overhead double underhook suplex, doubling over Z before he slumps off to his left.  Turner then changes his attention over to Frost, who is getting to his feet.  Turner hits Frost with a couple of right hands, but the 3rd one is blocked and countered with a right hand, staggering Turner before Frost does an amazing 180, nailing Turner with a backhand as the spin ends, sending Turner flying off to his left.

 

Axis: "What a shot!  Turner won't be able to take too many more of those!"

King: "That's it, Frost!  Show them who's boss!"

*Edwin takes another drink*

Axis: "Edwin!  Don't you think you've had enough, man!"

Edwin: "I'll tell you when I've had enough!"

King: "Let him drink."

 

Frost gets up on the turnbuckle with Turner and Z both down, but instead of just going for a top-rope move on either man, he just taunts the crowd, showing his arm to the crowd as the crowd explodes into jeers.

 

Axis: "If Frost doesn't watch himself, that showboating might get him into a sticky situation..."

King: "No way.  Frost knows what he's doing."

Axis: "Apparently, Edwin doesn't though."

King: "Where is that drunken English fool, anyways?"

Axis: "He's trying to pick up some more ladies."

*We see a shot of drunk Edwin trying to pick up a fairly large lady.  Of course, I don't think he sees the woman's boyfriend coming

for Edwin*

 

After taunting the crowd, Frost drops down off the turnbuckle, and runs right into a rising clothesline from Turner.

 

Edwin: "Well.  So much for Frost knowing what he's doing."

King: "It helps when you cheat like Turner..."

*THWACK*

 

The clothesline knocks Frost towards the ropes, and Turner clotheslines Frost over, but Turner's own momentum sends him over the top as well.  Both men go crashing to the floor.

 

King: "HAHAHA!  That Turner is an idiot!"

*Edwin stumbles back to his seat*

Edwin: "I think I just got hit by that woman's boyfriend."

Axis: "Nope, actually, I saw what you were up to.  That was the woman."

King: "Whattapussy."

 

Z is getting to his feet at this point, and he notices both men staggering to his feet.  He goes to the outside and begins to stomp away at Frost, keeping Frost down to a couple of knees.  However, Turner gets to his feet and kicks Z in the gut.  Then, Turner sends Z right into the ring post.  Z's head bounces off with a thud as he hits the ground, hard.

 

Axis: "Ouch!  That's got to hurt!  Normally, folks, that'd be a DQ, but since this match is under hardcore rules, anything goes!"

King: "Yeah, which means Frost is going to do anything and everything to make sure he beats those punkasses into the ground."

Edwin: "Betty's bein' bad...Betty's bein' bad...uh bad, bad, bad..."

*King turns and slaps Edwin out of his chair*

Axis: "What the hell was that for?"

King: "I was hoping I could slap some sense into him.  Obviously, drunken Englishmen are determined Englishmen, because it looks like

he's trying to get up.

 

Turner drags Frost to his feet, and then grabs his right arm.  Turner wrenches it up, almost as if he is wrenching a wet washrag.  With Frost's arm wrenched to its extreme, Turner than delivers an elbow to the back of the head of Frost, sending Frost back to the floor.  Z is back up, and he charges at Turner.  Turner doesn't see him coming, and Z nails Turner with a spear.  Z hurts himself though, driving his head into the mat, and jamming up his neck.  The fans can't help but laugh as Z holds his head in pain from messing up a seemingly easy move.  However, Turner is down, so, mission accomplished.

 

King: "What an idiot.  Why doesn't he go back to wrestling school to learn how to wrestle instead of wasting my time?"

 

Frost is back to his feet, and he walks over and picks up Turner, who is still down from Z's spear.  Frost then hooks legs with Turner, and delivers a Russian legsweep, sending Turner back down to the mat.  Frost then picks up Z, and grabs him in a cobra clutch position.  However, instead of letting Z tap, Frost drops Z with a Russian legsweep while Z is still in the clutch, sending Z face-first into the mat.

 

King: "Frost is just beating the crap out of those guys!  How can these guys even be in the same league as Frost?"

 

Frost rests a little bit, and waits for the first person to get up.  Turner, of course, is the first to get to his feet.  Frost approaches him, looking to possibly lock on the cobra clutch or hit a vicious move of some kind.  However, Turner turns around and is quick enough to kick Frost in the gut, bending Frost over.  Turner grabs Frost's head and drives it into the floor with a DDT.

 

Axis: "These three men have been outside of the ring all this time...it has definitely had to have taken some stuff from these guys."

 

With Frost out, Turner then hooks Frost in a full nelson, and then follows it up with a body scissors.

 

Axis: "He's going for the Lockdown!"

 

Turner locks it on, but Frost is strong and tries to roll his way out of it.  However, it is useless, as Turner just puts it on tighter.  Frost almost looks ready to tap, however, Z kicks Turner in the back, breaking the hold.

 

King: "Phew!  That was really close!"

Axis: "Your boy almost lost!"

King: "Shut up."

Edwin: "Ugghh.."

*King takes his boot and shoves Edwin back down to the ground with it*

 

Z goes over to Frost, who is still quite exhausted from the Lockdown, and picks him up.  He goes to whip Frost into the guardrail, but Frost reverses it, and Z goes tumbling over the guardrail, and into the crowd!

 

Axis: "Well, looks like our fans in the front row will be seeing the action very up-close.

 

Frost goes over the guardrail and immediately delivers a couple of stomps to the gut of Z.  Frost then picks up Z, turns him around, and locks his arms around Z from behind him.

 

Axis: "No way..."

 

Frost does what Axis thinks he's about to do, as Frost tosses Z over his head, over the guardrail, and onto the hard mat sliding along as Z finally comes to a stop near the announcing table.

 

Axis: "What a German suplex!

King: "Woo hoo!  Frost is kicking his ass!"  

 

Frost goes over the guardrail, and begins to slowly advance on Z.  Frost then picks up Z and doesn't see Turner come out of nowhere with a clothesline to the back of Frost's head.  Frost goes facefirst into the concrete, and Turner, seeing his opportunity, takes Z by the head and leads him around the ring.  Z tries to elbow his way out of this situation, but Turner returns the favor with an elbow of his own.  Turner then continues to drag Z up the entranceway.  Finally, Turner chucks Z through the curtains and into the backstage area.  Frost is getting to his feet, and sees Turner heading through the curtains.  Frost gives chase.

 

*Edwin finally gets back up to his seat*

Edwin: "Wait!  Where's all the wrestlers going?"

Axis: "Backstage it seems.  Looks like there's gonna be some hurting coming up here."

King: "I LOVE IT!"

Axis: "You would, King."

King: "..."

Axis: (under breath) "Freak."

 

Meanwhile, backstage, Z is starting to back away from Turner as Turner, with an enraged look on his face, advances on the Jersey boy.  Suddenly, from behind, Frost clubs Turner in the back of the head, sending Turner staggering around the backstage area.  Frost starts walking towards Turner, but Turner seems to be doing something near the table...Frost goes to grab Turner, but Turner swings around and clocks Frost with some brass knuckles.  Frost staggers back a little before slumping to the floor.

 

King: "...What the hell was that?"

Axis: "It's all legal, King."

King: "Shut the hell up!  That cheater!"

 

Z, who watched all of this, runs over to Turner and attacks him from behind.  Turner, who is caught off guard, stumbles into the tables that are scattered around backstage.

 

Axis: "All those tables around and Z in the match, this can't be too good..."

King: "If that idiot gets killed tonight, I wouldn't be surprised."

Axis: "You'd probably laugh too, you sicko.

King: "...You're right!  HAHAHA!"

 

Z turns Turner around, and nails him with an elbow to the back.  He hits a series of them, stunning Turner.  Z then grabs Turner, and hits an amazing snap suplex.

 

Axis: "What a snap suplex!"

Edwin: "Actually, Axis, that's the Seemingly Unsymmetrical Snap Suplex of Insidiousness."

*King and Axis look at Edwin in amazement at the only sentence he's said sober in this whole match.*

King: "Shut up, Edwin."

Edwin: "Yessir."

*Edwin takes another drink, then passes out*

Axis: "Well, I think we can make it without him..."

King: "Not a question, I know we can."

 

Frost still lays on the ground, unmoving after the brass knux shot from Turner.  The knux still are on the right hand of Turner.  However, Z drags Turner onto one of the tables, and it looks like Z might be doing something crazy...  Z finds a ladder next to the ladder.  He lines it up horizontally with Turner, and begins to climb the ladder.

 

Axis: "What the hell is he doing?"

 

Z continues to climb the ladder, and when he reaches the top, he turns around carefully.

 

Axis: "Would Z try a moonsault here?"

 

Z gives us the answer, as he looks to try and do it.  However, as he pushes off, the ladder clips his heels, and he begins to go out of control.  Somehow, however, he seems to nail Turner pretty good, as they both go through the table.

 

Axis: "What a mess!"

King: "I knew it!  HAHAHAHA!  What was that idiot thinking?  Well, guys, I think Frost has this one in the bag.  Turner's out, Z's out.  HA."

 

Almost on cue, Frost begins to stagger to his feet.  He feels his head, and feels the blood coming from his forehead.  He looks up and sees Turner and Z both laid out on the table.  Seeing his opportunity, he begins to approach Z.  Z, who is the worst of Turner and himself, is dragged from what was a table, and dragged into the middle of the backstage area.  Frost then begins to cross some legs, and turn some bodies...

 

King: "SHARPSHOOTER!  IT'S ALL OVER!"

Axis: "Frost is in control, this match could be his..."

 

Frost begins to put the pressure on, but Z is out.  The ref notices this after a while, and begins to use the arm count.  He brings Z's arm up once...and it falls.  Twice...and it falls.  He lifts it up the third time, but before it has a chance to fall, a chair is cracked across the back of Frost's head, breaking the hold.

 

King: "Wha?"

 

The camera pans over to Turner, wielding the chair, now with a dent where Frost's head came crashing into it.

 

King: "That son of a..."

Axis: "Well, that certainly changed the tide of this match!"

 

Z, who is still out, stays out, as Frost is on his hands and knees, trying to regain himself.  Turner picks him up, and then elbows him in the gut, bending Frost over.  Turner then gets under Frost, and picks him up in a Fireman's carry.

 

Axis: "Look at the strength of Turner!  Quite impressive."

King: "About as impressive as Ally McBeal sitting in a bean bag chair."

 

Turner then lets Frost fall near his back, and then turns it into a Samoan drop!  Frost's body makes a loud SMACK on the concrete floor.

 

King: "Ooh!"

Axis: "What a move from Turner!  That could be all for Frost!"

 

Turner then picks up Frost again, whose front of the head, and even some of his pure-white hair, seems to be stained with red, and gets him across the throat with his arm...

 

Axis: "Could this be..."

 

Turner hooks the leg...

 

Axis: "I think it is..."

 

Turner then lets it loose, tossing Turner backwards, sending him crashing to the concrete, sliding across the floor.

 

Axis: "The Victimizer!  That's got to be it for Frost!"

King: "Turner still has to make someone tap out!"

Axis: "That's true...who's he gonna go for?  Both Z and Frost are considerably exhausted, Frost most recently due to that wicked Victimizer..."

 

Turner turns towards Z, who seems to be regaining himself after that blown moonsault off the ladder.  Turner grabs Z and pulls him to his feet.  Z seems to be with it, now...but Turner locks in the full nelson!  Turner brings Z to the concrete, and Turner goes to lock on the body scissors!  Z is fighting it, but it's no use!  Turner's got it on!

 

Axis: "It's the Lockdown!  Frost is out!"

King: "NO!!!"

 

Z is trying to hold out from the pain, and the ref is listening to make sure he doesn't have to suffer through the submission more than he has to.  After about 20 grueling seconds, Z finally taps on Turner's arm!

 

Axis: "That's it!"

 

:: DING DING DING ::

 

Funyon: "Here is your winner, via submission, RRRANDY TURNER!"

 

The ref raises the arm of Turner, who seems to be very exhausted.  Turner has to break the ref's raising to catch his breath, after a hell of a match.

 

King: "I can't believe Frost got beat!"

Axis: "Well, believe it King.  Impressive victory for Turner on his debut, in this grueling match!"

King: "Impressive?  He beat Z!  A friggin' muppet could beat Z!"

Axis: "However, he had to go through your boy Frost to beat Z!"

King: "My boy?  I'm impressed by Frost, I don't love him."

Axis: "...Sure..."

*Edwin jumps up out of nowhere, by King and Axis*

King: "What the..."

Edwin: "Yo guys, what's up?"

Axis: "How did you sober up so quickly?"

Edwin: "That's for me to know, and you to find out."

Axis: "...Whatever."

King: "Edwin, hand me some of that, I think I might want to pass out now."

[Guest Suicide King]

Glad you posted that Turner.  It deserves to be read.

 

Now comments.  Your action sequences were wonderful, well-described, well-paced, and well thought out.  Your commentary was actually rather good as well; in fact, for a n00b it was stellar.  As I said, I spent a lot of time thinking about this match decision, and in the end it came down to two things.  One:  Your descriptions of the action were in all respects superior.  I really felt like I was there.  But in the end I felt that had to go down to... Two:  Frost's match told a great story.  His characterization was spot on, and the ending helped everyone get over.  Your ending was a touch too dominating, and at times during your match it seemed like the action paused while you figured out where to go next.

 

Again though, overall I am very, very pleased.  I anticipate a great feud between you and Frost if you both so desire, one that may even include the TV title belt should T-Bone lose!

[Guest realitycheck]

Some fun, happy comments on your match, Turner.

 

Firstly, don't worry about your characterization of the commentators. You got them, well, perfect. Very impressive.

 

Sencondly, you jumped tenses a few times in the match. That can be kind of irritating when you read something.

 

Thirdly, you could be more wordy with your description. Instead of...

 

"Frost is able to bring Z to his feet, at which point Frost knees Z in the gut, and then lifts up Z and drops him with a brainbuster"

 

It could be...

 

"With minimal effort, Frost yanks Z to his feet. Z wobbly standing act dosen't last long, as Frost rears back, driving his knee into Z's gut! He doubles over as air explodes from his lungs... but Frost isn't done yet. taking Z firmly in a front-facelock, he calmly tosses Z's arm over his neck, grabbing his pants and hefting him up into the air! Almost casually, Frost falls backward, plummeting Z with a malicious brainbuster!!"

 

Granted, that's gonna eat up words like a bitch. But man, dosen't that just add that extra 'oomph!' to the move? It's not like you have to do it all the time, but the brainbuser is a pretty big move.

 

Forthly, it's an E-fed, Turner. Even if there's no possible way they'd get it in raeal life, EVERONE recives tremedous crowd ovations.   Ahhh... the wonders of fantasy.

 

Well, other than that, I can't really say anything else. All-in-all, those are pretty much the only things you could use work on. Great, great stuff for your first match. I'll let anyone else add whatever I may have oversighted...

 

-Z

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Another thing I just noticed: when was the last time ANY show, JL or WF, had SIXTEEN REPLIES worth of matches/promos/segments?  R0x0r!!!  

 

Ah, it's good to watch you all kick ass.  Back to sociology, the real man's study...

[Guest realitycheck]

Pffft... Real men study political sciences. Not that I do, seeing that I'm not in college, but you know what I mean.

 

Wait...

 

Sociology... study of real men...

 

 

Don't make me hurt you for those puns, MacPhisto.

[Guest]

I mentioned in #IGNWF that my other flaw was that I didn't let everyone get over, so, I did realize that.

 

Tenses are a weakness of mine, I do tend to jump them a few times.

 

Thanks for the comments, good or bad.

[Guest ErekT2k]

Wait........

 

Evolution = Randy Turner?!!!!

 

And all this time I thought he was Frost! And I'm just messin with ya Turner. Although you might wanna get back at Z for calling you Randy Taylor. *hints to Z's post in the first thread*

 

Anyways, I would comment on your match but I wouldn't know much. I'm just another n00b myself.

[Guest realitycheck]

Although you might wanna get back at Z for calling you Randy Taylor. *hints to Z's post in the first thread*

 

Nonsense, Erek. That was but a clever double entendre.  

 

-Z

[Guest Shawn]

EDIT: Ahhg! This never happened. Shush Z.

[Guest crusen86]

Just as an entertaining note, I might go back through my IGN PMs later and grab one of T-Bones first matches. If I can find one. You will see how far you can progress...