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Guest Choken One

The one and Only Smackdown Spoilers...

By Guest Choken One, in The WWE Folder

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Guest Mulatto Heat   

Guest Mulatto Heat
Posted

http://www.pwtorch.com/artman/publish/arti...icle_5491.shtml

Ongoing Smackdown spoiler page

 

So far... (editing out the unrelated crap)

 

Dark Matches

 

(1) Kanyon & Chad Collier beat Travis Tomcoates & Kevin Rurley Collier is from ROH fame. Kanyon finished the match by hitting on the bigger of the two jobbers (who liked like Mike Awesome gone to seed) with a Flatliner. Crowd had a small “We Want Kanyon” chant after the match.

 

***Merchandise booths have new Los Gurerros bandanas and inflatable John Cena hands.

 

(2) Paul London & Spanky beat Ken Anderson & Jeremy Gosh. Anderson also wrestled on RAW last night in an attempt to further get across the idea of brand extension. Great spot came with Spanky on all fours and London jumping off him in a “Poetry in Motion” type move. Finish came when London had Gosh in a facebuster type move and Spanky kicked the back of Gosh leading to a really cool looking pin.

 

Velocity Hell

 

(1) Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) beat Shannon AllThatAnd Moore. Finally, the long dormant feud of the Jung Dragons versus 3Count shows it’s face in the WWE! Noble came to the ring in a goofy orange hat that he seemed very protective of. Very competitive with a lot of near falls. Noble finished off Moore with a submission move that was a guillotine choke with Moore’s legs wrapped around him.

 

2)Sean O’Haire (w/o that cool coat) beat Kevin Krueger. Lots of mat wrestling, and by that I mean Krueger was on the mat getting the shit kicked out of him by O’Haire. They re-did a spot in which O’Haire picked Krueger up for a slam and then kicked him, but don’t know why. During this match the lights dimmed bringing back the memories of the Old Milwaukee Power Curse. Back at ECW Hardcore Heaven 2000, during the Mikey Whipwreck – Simon Diamond match, the same type of power outage occurred. Finish came when O’Haire hit that reverse Death Valley Driver.

 

(3) Rhyno beat Funaki. Amazing quick match ended with the Gore.

 

(4)Rey Mysterio beat Nunzio. Lots of matwork by both men including a long stretch with Nunzio working over Rey Rey’s arm. Nunzio tried a lot of different submission moves here. A cool spot came when Nunzio was going to give Mysterio a suplex, but Rey slipped out and gave Nunzio and old school version of the Slop Drop (Editor’s Note: Derek, my audience DOES NOT remember the Godwinns!) Rey finished off Nunzio with the 619 and Dropping the Dime.

 

Yes, you read that right, Rey Mysterio is on Velocity Hell so that no doubt That THING They Call Shaniqua can be on SmackDown. Scandalous!

 

SmackDown!

 

Main event will be Team OVW (Brock Lesnar & Prototype) versus Undertaker & Kurt Angle

 

(1)Eddie Gurerro (w/Chavito) beat Matt Hardy v1.0 (w/Shannon Moore) to retain his WWE U.S. Title Chavo was wearing the newly sold Los Gurerros bandana. Finish came when Moore tried to hit Eddie with the US belt, but was knocked out by Latino Heat. Eddie grabbed the belt and threw it over to Matt, then pretended to be dazed. The ref turned around and accused Matt of hitting Eddie. The ref took the belt away, and when he turned, Chavo blasted Matt across the head with his Tag Title belt. Eddie then hit the Sensei of Mattitude with an amazing Frog Splash for the win.

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Guest Mulatto Heat   

Guest Mulatto Heat
Posted

More...

 

Eddie and Chavo were partying in the back until they were interrupted by the Big Show. He just arrived at the arena after coming all the way from Texas. Show doesn’t like “their kind” and ended up throwing Eddie into Chavo.

 

During the Break!© Chavo asked Eddie where his “Latino Heat” was. Eddie told Chavo to calm down and that he would, “take care of this.” Eddie had quite the coloring in his hair, obviously making good use of the Maxim® Easy Tips.

 

(2) The Basham Brothers (w/That THING They Call Shaniqua) beat the A.P.A. Finish came when Farooq was hit with the Ball and Gag. Shaniqua interfered the entire match and was given a Clothesline From Hell courtesy of Bradshaw when it was over.

 

(3) Chris Benoit beat Charlie Haas by DQ Finish came when A-Train, who was doing Color Commentary (I’m certainly not looking forward to that on Thursday), ran into the ring and beat the snot out of the Crippler while he had the Crossface applied on Haas.

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Guest Choken One   

Guest Choken One
Posted

Cue the stupid pathetic vagina monolouges for Benoit getting punked out...

 

Meanwhile, THREE TIMES THE EDDY!

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Guest Mulatto Heat   

Guest Mulatto Heat
Posted

Of course it's Faarooq that eats the pin while Bradshaw gets their heat back after the match.

 

Because Bradshaw is a TEXAS HOSS and Faarooq's just some guy from Georgia.

 

It's not that I particulary care what the APA does but I felt the need to point it out.

 

More spoilers...

 

Vince and Sable come to the ring. The key theme of the night is “mistakes”, and no, Vince is not talking about booking Shane McMahon stronger than any RAW babyface. Vince says that Steph made a mistake last week and he will give her a week to change her mind. Steph comes out and says she doesn’t need a week, the match is still on. Vince says that he will make her scream a, “blood curdling scream” and since we are talking about Steph here all I can think is…IS THERE ANY OTHER KIND?! Eventually Sable calls Steph a bitch and two have a Cat Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh!© Joey Styles

 

Vince grabs Steph and gives her a very protected slam. This brings out Big Evil, who runs down to beat down Vince. Out comes Brock Lesnar, but he runs right into a Big Boot courtesy of the Undertaker.

 

This has to be a rib. Big Show is backstage and he is approached by a guy decked out in full stereotypical Mexican clothes. You know, the sombrero, the whole bit. This guy has a bag of burritos for Eddie Guerrero. Big Show takes one burrito out, spits on it, and tells the guy to give that to Eddie. Big Show then eats the rest of the burritos. This is quality soap opera writing kids, you can BeLee Dat!

 

(I wanted to edit out the non-funny stuff but there's so much of it and I only have so much patience)

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Guest Ray   

Guest Ray
Posted
A-Train, who was doing Color Commentary (I’m certainly not looking forward to that on Thursday),

I am! :D

 

 

 

 

 

And I also want to see this Guerrero-Big Show feud for some reason...

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Guest Mulatto Heat   

Guest Mulatto Heat
Posted

I'm surprised that I'm the only one posting these. Usually half a dozen of you guys are right on it. I'm even doing this only during commercial breaks of the show I'm currently watching.

 

More spoilers...

 

(4) Tajiri beat Kidman. Tajiri worked over Kidman’s arm a lot in this match. Finish came when the Japanese Buzzsaw kicked Kidman in the nuts, and then finished him off with that cool Execution Style Kick.

 

(5) Orlando Jordan beat Big Show by Countout. A quick match in which Show was dominating until, Get This, he started to have diarrhea problems from the taco incident earlier in the show. God I hope I heard Keith wrong on that one, but you know I didn’t. So Big Show gets Counted Out because he has to go to the little boys room. I know there’s a “drizzling shits” joke here somewhere but I’m not gonna go there tonight. Can you imagine what goes through Ultimo Dragon’s mind watching stuff like this?

 

(Keith is the guy sending spoilers to Keller)

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Guest Boo_Bradley   

Guest Boo_Bradley
Posted
More...

 

Eddie and Chavo were partying in the back until they were interrupted by the Big Show. He just arrived at the arena after coming all the way from Texas. Show doesn’t like “their kind” and ended up throwing Eddie into Chavo.

The Big-ot Show returns!!!

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AndrewTS    0

AndrewTS
Posted
More...

 

Eddie and Chavo were partying in the back until they were interrupted by the Big Show. He just arrived at the arena after coming all the way from Texas. Show doesn’t like “their kind” and ended up throwing Eddie into Chavo.

The Big-ot Show returns!!!

Heheh, that's a good one.

 

You'll even hear from Show on the john!

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Guest Mulatto Heat   

Guest Mulatto Heat
Posted

And to finish...

 

Zach Gowen interview via satellite Zach was pissed at Michael Cole for bringing up people’s sympathy. Zach is sick of sympathy and he’ll be back next week.

 

OH DEAR GOD! We’re in the bathroom now and we see Big Show’s feet underneath the stall. Eddie is outside taunting Show saying that the burrito scam was a setup between him and his cousin “Jose” all along. Eddie was holding three rolls of toilet paper during this so that you know Big Show had none in his stall.

 

John Cena comes out to bust some Thuganomics! Great rap which ended with the line…

 

Just like the Big Show’s diarrhea, you can’t stop my shit!

 

(6) John Cena & Brock Lesnar beat The Undertaker & Kurt Angle. Great 14 minute match that had the crowd going crazy waiting for the super hot tag to Taker. One cool spot came when Brock was going to give Angle an F5, but Your Olympic Hero slipped out and ended up giving Lesnar a huge German suplex! Finish came when Cena hit Angle over the head with his chain.

 

After the match Brock threw Taker into the steel steps. The Next Big Thing then went to give Big Evil a spinning F5 onto the announcer’s desk, but it was reversed, and Brock ended up taking a great looking chokeslam through the table. This is where Smackdown ends.

 

After the show, Dead Man Inc. rode around on his Harley, getting flipped off by a still prone Brock Lesnar.

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Bored    0

Bored
Posted
Zach Gowen interview via satellite Zach was pissed at Michael Cole for bringing up people’s sympathy. Zach is sick of sympathy and he’ll be back next week.

Yes Gowan/Cole at No Mercy!

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