SWF Lockdown!!

[Kaertos 0]

The Hampton Coliseum in Hampton, Virginia, breaks onto national television with a huge display of blue and purple pyro, signaling that once again, SWF Lockdown is on the air! The fans are on their feet, showing off signs including “Arnold Scored a AAA Heavy,” “Va’aiga = Bastion’s Booger” and “Additional Generic Sacred Sign, Brian!” many are shown wearing blue t-shirts in support of the newly-popular World Champion, and it seems just as many are wearing Justice & Rule shirts.

 

Wearing neither, however, are Bobby Riley and Cyclone Comet. The two announcers sit at their table as always, with Riley shuffling through his papers and Comet staring at the camera as if it were some vile evildoer.

 

“Welcome to SWF Lockdown!” says Bobby Riley. “Fans, we’ve got an exciting show coming up tonight, right up until our main event. We can only hope that Erek Taylor decides to interject himself, rather than make us watch Tom Flesher defend the SWF World Title against the Boston Strangler unimpeded.”

 

“Indeed,” says Comet, “the Strangler hasn’t quite been himself lately, but I wouldn’t wish interference from Erek Taylor on him. Taylor seems to be the one who ruins Citizen Albert’s concentration.”

 

“Also tonight, the monstrous badass Va’aiga takes on the even more monstrous, even more badass Bastion in a Hardcore match!”

 

“Mark my words, Robert… that match is going to end someone’s career tonight,” says Comet somberly.

 

“But first,” says Riley, “Let’s get down to the ring for our first match!”

 

Funyon, in the ring, announces, “Ladies and gentlemen…

 

A few minutes with Tom Flesher!”

 

The crowd explodes with cheers as the lights go down and the SmarksTron glows white. As the opening guitars of the Philosopher Kings’ “I Am The Man” vibrate through the arena, the words “WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION” fade onto the screen in thin blue lettering. After a few seconds…

 

 

BOOM!

 

 

An explosion of blue pyro and smoke lights up the arena as the song starts to rock out over the sound system! Tom Flesher emerges from the cloud of smoke, striding confidently to the ring as videos of his signature moves alternate in half-second clips with the words “SUPERIOR ONE,” “AWARD-WINNING,” “MAIN ATTRACTION” and “THE MAN.” He wears his usual blue polo and jeans, with the SWF World Championship belt wrapped around his waist. As the fans cheer him, Flesher enters the ring. The music fades, and he holds up his hand to silence the crowd.

 

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” says Flesher with a grin. “It’s a PLEASURE to be here tonight, although… let’s get this out of the way… I’m not happy about seeing Strangler again. It seems to me that – even if you ignore the fact that I’ve outwrestled him every time we’ve fought – he’s in absolutely no condition to compete tonight. Let’s face it. He’s a psychological mess. I understand, though. He’s owed a rematch, and so he’s got to cash it in. Let me say right now… Erek Taylor, this match is going down and it’s going to its fair conclusion. If you even THINK about sticking your nose in… well… let’s just say this league’s changed a lot since you were around.” Flesher smirks as the fans applaud.

 

“In any event,” he continues, “speaking of cashing things in, I see that there’s going to be a new number-one contender at the end of the night. We’ve got Dace Night…” The crowd cheers slightly… “Michael Craven…” who is met with a chorus of boos… “and Nathaniel Kibagami.” The crowd boos even louder, showing their complete distaste for Kibagami.

 

“Now, Michael Craven…” The crowd boos once again. “Michael Craven, well, is. He hung his hat on the Suicide King, who…”

 

The crowd interrupts Flesher with a chant of “NO MORE KING!” Flesher grins, then gestures for them to quiet down.

 

“Michael Craven sucked up to the Suicide King after it was no longer cool. He says he looks up to me – oh, no, maybe not in public. In the arenas, Craven will say he’s his own man, but we all know better, don’t we? You’ve seen him in the malls, in the restaurants, in the hotels, walking around in his Superiority Complex t-shirt. Hell, he still has an old-school Magnificent Seven shirt that he sleeps in.”

 

“Sometimes,” sighs Flesher, “I wonder about that boy.”

 

“But… but… BUT!” he continues. “The point is, Michael Craven isn’t a big concern. After all, he’s basically just me, only with less skill, fewer moves and a smaller penis. And speaking of smaller penises, one of Craven’s opponents in that match is going to be… Nathaniel Kibagami.”

 

The crowd boos loudly, remembering Kibagami’s brutal super Demonstar Driver on Edwin MacPhisto at Genesis.

 

“Now, I’m not terribly worried about Kibs,” says Flesher. “After all, I’ve seen him once before, and he tapped out, just like all the rest. After all – ”

 

BAM!

 

A flash of light and the sound of pounding guitars heralds the entrance of the Silent One, clad in white jeans and a white t-shirt, a microphone in his right hand. He waits a long minute for the boos from the Virginia fans to subside before raising the mic to his lips.

 

“After all, what, Tom?” smiles Kibagami. “After all, he’s injured, broken down? His neck is bad? His career’s almost over? I’ve heard that before, and I’ve heard it from better men than you. Now, I’m not sure if you were watching backstage at Genesis, but in case you missed it, I ended the career of a man who dominated this federation for almost a year. I’m not about to be brushed aside like some –“

 

MAC-PHIST-OOOOO! MAC-PHIST-OOOOO!

 

“Chant his name ALL YOU WANT, you disgusting little ingrates!” yells Silent, drawing the ire of the crowd even more, “He’s not coming back any time soon! Now then, Tom,” Silent smiles as he turns his attention back to the World champion, “I’ve beaten the best this federation has to offer, so I’d prefer you didn’t come here and attempt to belittle me like some –“

 

”Whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute, Nathan.” Flesher leans over the ropes, looking particularly interested now. “You’ve beaten the best this federation has to offer?”

 

”Did I stutter? I’ve beaten the absolute best –“

 

”Like hell you have!” shouts Flesher, and the crowd roars its approval! “You beat Edwin MacPhisto, yes, after he spent a YEAR out of the ring, and even then – even then! – he damn near beat you,” the champion spits as he thrusts a finger at Kibagami. “You aren’t half as good as you think you are, Nathan, and if Dace Night doesn’t prove that to you tonight, then I suppose I’ll just do it myself. You can tell yourself whatever you want, Kibs, because when it comes down to it, you cannot compete with the best this federation has to offer.”

 

“Were you watching the same show as the rest of us last Sunday, Tom? I beat Edwin MacPhisto, and I think that –“

 

”Yeah, you mentioned that already, Kibs, and I wasn’t impressed the first time.”

 

”I have beaten the best in this God-forsaken federation, whether you’re impressed with that or not –“

 

”No, you beat Edwin MacPhisto, Nathan.” Flesher steps back towards the center of the ring, a satisfied smile on his face. “But you haven’t beaten me. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t think you can.”

 

Kibagami, enraged, raises the microphone to his lips…and apparently thinks the better of it, simply shrugging and returning to his affected smirk. “Well. I supposed you’re entitled to your opinion, then. You’re not the first person to think that. But I’d remind you, Tom, Edwin used to think the same thing.”

 

MAC-PHIST-OOOOO! MAC-PHIST-OOOOO!

 

“Shut UP already, would you? Tom, the point is this. You say whatever you want. Bask in your newfound fanbase, do whatever you want. I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be seeing you next week.” Kibagami smiles. “Keep my belt warm.”

 

“The River Dragon Has Come” crashes through the speakers as Kibagami makes his way back through the curtains, the boos from the arena following him backstage.

 

“Well, a tense conversation between the World champion and one of his potential challengers,” notes Cyclone Comet. “We’ll be right back after these messages for a match between Crow and English Dragon, the most recent prospect from the SJL. Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen!”

[Kaertos 0]

As Lockdown comes back from commercial, Comet looks into the camera.

 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just been informed that the match scheduled to take place in this segment has been indefinetly postponed by doctor's orders. After the beating both of these men took last week on Genesis, I can't say I'm suprised."

 

Bobby responds, "Comet, that is a shame. This would have been one hell of a match, but never fear loyal viwers, we have some barn-burners coming up. In the meantime, let's show you some of the footage our cameras shot at the SWF Fan Lockdown at Genesis in New York City last week!"

 

The show cuts from the live feed to a pre-taped segment...

[Kaertos 0]

The host.... The Hampton Colliseum

 

The city.... Hampton, Virginia

 

The event.... Lockdown!

 

SWF footage comes right back at the viewers, delivering a live shot of the outside arena before starwiping in. The cameras make its usual rounds, panning across the stage to give an aerial view of the house fans. The intensity can be seen, not as electric as Genesis, but still, above average. They know what a night it's going to be!

 

"Well, Comet, at least that opening match didn’t make me vomit. Better than usual.”

 

"Robert, you never cease to amaze me. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're just joining us, you just missed a fantastic match between the English Dragon and Crow."

 

"There was jus-"

 

Before Riley can finish his sentence, the opening rifts of "Numb" begins to air over the speakers. Immediately, a single thought is in everyone's mind....

 

"Traitor"

 

Clips of them cheering...

 

cheering for a bright superstar who no doubt went to the wrong side. Now they're booing. It's all about who does things right, not who does things best. Erek Taylor emerges from the fog that shrouds the entrance, and skipping his usual antics, marches down the ramp, a mic in hand.

 

"Get off the stage fatass."

 

Funyon proudly exits the ring as the boos begin to pour down.

 

"I see the villian Erek Taylor has decided to come down to the ring."

 

"Villain or not, he still put Strangler in his place at Genesis! Scared the buhjeebus out of that big ape!"

 

Erek enters the ring and immediately a chant is heard.

 

ASSHOLE!!!

 

 

ASSHOLE!!!

 

Erek smiles, and brings the mic up to his lips. He clears his voice and speaks, "I love you people too!”

 

BOOOOO!!!!

 

"What? No cheers? After one night too? I remember at Genesis you were all so damn loud too. What happened to those people? Quite frankly, I'm glad you people despise me. Because let's face it, if you don't hate me, then you got issues. I am the total opposite of all you low lifes who sit on their asses all day and dream up fantasies that will never happen because you all have got your dicks tucked in between your legs!!"

 

Virginia explodes in anger, with boos so loud you would think Hitler was in the audience.

 

"Let's cut to the chase. I'm not out here to tell you people how miserable you all are.. because let's face it, you're all not as beautiful, smart, or just straight-up charming as me. What I'm out here for is to give the Boston Strangler another chance. He says he's changed, let's see him come out and accept my challenge, which by the way, he ran away from. So come on Strangler, I know you're scared, and why shouldn't you be? Come out, come out, wherever you are! Let's talk!"

 

The buzz in the air is instantly transformed from negative to positive as the crowds immediately begin to chant Strangler's name. They clap and stomp in unison, waiting for the familiar theme music to hit. After a few seconds of waiting, it comes. "Godzilla" erupts over the PA and Strangler emerges from the back, without the usual pomp and circumstance of his entrance. Instead, he just starts walking very quietly towards the ring, ignoring the huge pop from the crowd.

 

"And here's the big idiot himself!" Erek says while the music plays.

 

Strangler walks down, a little bit hesitant.....

 

"My god, it looks as if he spent the night running away from the police!"

 

...but who wouldn't be? He's fighting his inner instincts....

 

"It's alright Strangler, we know you got drug problems. Viagra?"

 

...he's trying to be the better person.......

 

"Step into the ring, big old Bostonian!"

 

...he will control himself......

 

Strangler enters the ring and is obviously angered. The crowds cheer, backing their hero with a hundred percent. The mammoth paces around the ring and gets a mic from the ringside technician. He brings it up to his lips.

 

"Er-"

 

"Whoa whoa whoa!! Wait just right there Strangler."

 

Erek catches everyone by surprise. He exits the ring and races up the ramp and right to the spot where every wrestler enters the arena from.

 

"Okay, I'm in better position. No Strangler, I'm not running away. I just want to ask you a question? Are you afraid of me?"

 

"You think I'm afraid of you Erek?! That's just total bullshit. Yo-"

 

"Whoa whoa whoa!!! Before you go on, let's see if this will change your mind. Play my music!"

 

With that command, "Numb" plays and the exact entrance is duplicated. Erek doesn't pose but instead, asks Strangler another question.

 

"Are you scared now, Strangler?"

 

"What the heck are you doing, Erek?”

 

"Before you go on and start whining, let me come back to the ring because... we all know you're afraid. You were always scared of me. Who wouldn't be? I'm smarter, I'm faster, and I'm cuter. You're just a strong ugly body builder. How does it even feel to be afraid of someone who is just so much better than you?"

 

"I am not scared of you, Erek."

 

"This video begs to differ, Albert."

 

Erek enters the ring as the SmarkTron lights up.

 

 

---------------------------------

 

“WHY TAYLOR? Why did it have to be Erek Taylor? I was ready to fight Chris Wilson! Sure, I don’t fucking LIKE Chris Wilson, but god knows I’d rather fight him for a year straight than have to face Erek! Wilson was the one who fucked me over! And Erek…I fucked Erek over. No questions about it. I retired him. I took away his livelihood…”

 

“But I’m different! I’m different now! I’m not the man I was last year! I don’t do roids, I don’t go insane, I don’t attack anyone and everyone in my way! I’m disciplined! I’m a champion now! I earned it all! Erek comes out, questions me earning that World title, questions my dedication, questions my ability…total crap! That belt was mine through my own talent, and nothing else!”

 

“But maybe…Erek told me that belt was his…he beat me before…did I cost him his shot at glory? How the hell would I feel if Erek had taken away my livelihood…I dunno…”

 

“But that’s in the PAST! Right now, I’m not the kind of person who would hurt Erek like that again. I’m not gonna hurt Erek at all! If I do hurt Erek…if I do…then god knows what will happen. I refuse to let myself become what I was last year. I REFUSE to allow myself to slink back down that path. It WILL NOT HAPPEN!”

 

“So what do I do? I can’t fight Taylor…he can fight me. I can’t yell at Erek. He can yell at me. And he’s back for good. I need to stand up…I need to fight…but how? Erek’s ready for this fight, and I’m not. I’m…I’m….I’m afraid. I’m afraid of Erek Taylor. I’m afraid that he’s the key to the pandora’s box inside me…he’s the thing that’s gonna trigger all the emotions, all the evil….I have to fight, but I have to not fight. What the HELL do I do?”

 

--------------------------------------

 

Strangler is in a total state of shock. The fans are silent, but they know better. Erek is taunting Strangler with his looks, walking around the mammoth, staring down him from head to toe.

 

"So Strangler, let me ask you again. Are you scared of Erek Taylor?"

 

Silence. And then,

 

"Never."

 

"So now you're a liar? When there's video proof."

 

"I am never afraid. I'm not afraid of you, I'm not afraid of anyone but myself. I'm afraid that you might make me do things that I don't want to do. Things that only the old Strangler would do. I'm fighting my instincts, Erek, I don't want to fight you too. Why are you so intent on getting me to fight you?"

 

"Because Strangler. I see through the real you. You're not a hero. You never were. You were always.... a lackey. You're not a leader, you're a follower. You may be strong in strength but you're weak in mind. You may have fooled everyone in this arena, in the locker room, in the front office, but I know who you really are. And I won't rest until I show it to the rest of the world. I challenge you to a match, Strangler. Now accept it."

 

"Ere-"

 

"ACCEPT IT!"

 

"I won't fi-"

 

"ACCEPT THE FUCKING CHALLENGE!!!"

 

The atmosphere is intense and Erek Taylor has gone from his sarcastic mood to a very angry man.

 

"I'm out of here."

 

Strangler drops the mic and a wave of static is heard over the PA before the crews backstage cut the mic. Strangler exits the ring and the fans still remain silent. He walks up the ramp and not even halfway, Erek Taylor's voice booms in the PA.

 

"That's right! Run the fuck away with your dick tucked between your legs! That's what you were always good for. The Alley knew that, the Clan knew that, Chris Wilson knew that, and I know that. Your family knew that too! Why don't you stand up and fight for yourself this time huh?"

 

Strangler continues to walk, never once looking back as he disappears into the back and the fans start to boo, all of them hurling drinks and insults towards the Wonder Kid inside the ring.

 

"Just know one thing. The tickets you paid for to come see this show, yea, part of that price is coming to my paycheck. Bitches."

 

With that, Erek exits the ring with "Numb" playing over the background. Comet and Riley fail to return to the airwaves, as Lockdown heads to commercial.

[Kaertos 0]

“This contest is going to be about as great a mystery as anything Sherlock Holmes or Scooby Doo has ever encountered,” calls out The Cyclone Comet as we return to Lockdown.

 

Bobbie Riley returns the serve, “That’s right Comet. Ejiro Fasaki said that he had one final test for his protégé Wildchild to see if the Hardcore Gamers champion was ready to break out on his own. I personally think Wildchild might be years away from learning everything he could from Ejiro Fasaki.”

 

“Well you can say that all you want,” notes The Cyclone Comet. “But at least The Bahamas Bomber managed to come out of Genesis IV with a victory while Fasaki went to a draw with Va’aiga. And I think we can all agree that ties are like kissing your sister.”

 

“Good practice?”

 

“Let’s go to Funyon with the introductions,” mumbles The Cyclone Comet.

 

The multi-colored ring announcer calls into his microphone, “Ladies and Gentlemen, this next contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first!”

 

“I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA, PEOPLE!"

 

With the sounds of Jay-Z's "Guilty Until Proven Innocent" pumping through the airwaves, out pops through the curtain comes The Human Hurricane to the explosive joy of the crowd. His face a mask of solid determination Wildchild makes his way into the ring now dressed in an orange jumpsuit that mimics those worn by convicted felons while incarcerated. While at the same time Wildchild has his hands bound in front of him as though he was just about to head out to the yard for some exercise. Hopping up to the apron, Wildchild steps in between the ropes rather than his usual leap through the cables in order to save his damaged ribs for the test on its way. Turning about on one foot as he looks out to the crowd, Wildchild raises his cuffed hands to the sky before pulling them apart as fast as he can in order to break the restraints. Perhaps this all symbolizes his frustration regarding the recent situation between himself and Johnny Dangerous and perhaps it shows off his recent contractual obligation to Ejiro Fasaki. But all in all, it truly shows that this is not the same happy-go-lucky Wildchild the fans are used to seeing. Yet still the crowd still longs to prove that they love the Caribbean Cruiser and shower him with enough praise to put the very world on notice.

 

“He weighs in tonight at 214 pounds and hails from Morgan’s Bluff in The Bahamas. He is the current reigning Smarks Wrestling Federation Hardcore Gamers Champion… he is The WILLLLLLLLLLDCHILLLLLLLLLLD!”

 

“And his opponent…”

 

“Hold off their Funny bone!” calls the scratchy voice of The United States champion as he comes though the curtain with a microphone in hand. “This next announcement is all mine. Well Wildchild, this is your shot at freedom my happy little cowboy. If you can overcome this obstacle you are back on your own devices. Of course my little gumdrop, I won’t be making it easy for you. Actually I think we will call this a little bit more in the reach of impossible. So without further ado…”

 

Ducking back behind the curtain, Fasaki’s voice continues to echo throughout the arena. “Introducing his opponents! They weigh in at a total combined weight of 425 pounds! They are the longest reigning World Tag Team champions in all of SWF history! They are Judge William Hearford and Ejiro Fasaki! They are…”

 

JUSTICE!

 

RULE!

 

“Oh good lord no!” calls out The Cyclone Comet as a number of small red explosions pop high in the air.

 

“Oh good God yes!” replies Riley.

 

Stepping out through the curtain again, Ejiro Fasaki leads the way to the ring for his partner Judge Hearford. Now both men wearing their Justice and Rule football jerseys once more, Fasaki and Hearford almost strut their way down the aisle while sweeping away balls of trash being tossed their way. Stopping just before they get to the ring, Justice and Rule look at each other with a smile as Fasaki passes the microphone over to the Judge.

 

“Hi there Wildchild,” calls out The Judge from the floor, “You poor soul. Standing up there all alone since your ‘good buddy’ Johnny Dangerous obviously could only find the time to slander your name and cause you grievous personal injury. But now that you might need him, where is Mr. Dangerous? Funny isn’t it? Once your enemies want to be your friends again, they seem to run right out of the arena rather than lend a hand. Good thing I have a real friend right here!”

 

And with that, Justice and Rule embrace on the arena floor much tot he disgust of the entire audience. But with each other in their arms neither member of the greatest tag team in SWF history are on the lookout as Wildchild runs into the ropes on the far side for momentum. So just as Hearford and Fasaki turn back to the ring after such a manly hug they are met with the spiraling body of The Human Hurricane as he comes soaring over the top rope with a no hands plancha!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Crushing Fasaki under his body and clipping The Judge with his legs, Wildchild manages to send both members of Justice and Rule flopping to the concrete. Immediately on The Judge as Hearford rises up, Wildchild slams his fist into the forehead of one of his opponents time and again while still keeping an eye out for Fasaki. Looking to make an immediate impact before he can be double teamed, Wildchild pulls Hearford over to the guardrail and slams his head right against the top of the metal structure.

 

“Citizen Wildchild is out for the blood of Justice and I mean that literally for once!” shouts The Cyclone Comet as The Bahamas Bomber allows Hearford to fall down to his knees.

 

“This is nonsense!” blurts out Riley as Wildchild moves back to Fasaki as the United States Champion meanders up to his feet. “Ejiro and The Judge shouldn’t have to suffer because Wildchild has no friends. It’s not their fault!”

 

“Yes, yes it is their fault! Where have you been?”

 

Grabbing Ejiro by the wrist as the whiney submission expert gets to his feet, Wildchild uses the arm to whip Fasaki across the ringside area and right into his own tag team partner. Ricocheting off The Judge as the lawyer is knocked right back to the cold concrete floor, Ejiro turns just in time to fall right into the side of the metal ringside steps with his back!

 

CLANG!

 

Shaking with the force of the impact, Ejiro stumbles out a step or two as Wildchild comes roaring ahead at his ‘mentor’. But as Wildchild comes ahead, Fasaki lowers his shoulders and looks to elevate Wildchild up and onto the steps only to have the cat-like Human Hurricane land right on the steps with his feet! Turning around still suffering from the force of the trip to the steps, Fasaki instead is surprised as Wildchild springs right into the air and knocks Fasaki right back down with an Asai moonsault right off the steps!

 

Comet virtually sings into his headset, “Wildchild cannot be stopped! He is running right over both members of Justice and Rule.”

 

“It’s still early you masked ninny! I swear you make Adam West look like Toby McGuire!”

 

“Which one of those is supposed to be the insult?”

 

“I don’t even know! I’m not the superhero nerd here!”

 

Grabbing The Judge as he rises up to a knee, Wildchild tosses the top contender to every title in the SWF underneath the bottom rope and into the ring for the first time in this contest. Immediately scaling the top rope as Hearford does a confused spin in the ring trying to get a bead on the situation, Wildchild lowers his sites on the man that helped tear Wild and Dangerous apart at the seems. And as Hearford turns his body into perfect position, Wildchild leaps into the stratosphere as only he can and he knocks The Judge flat to the mat with a devastating missile dropkick to the chest! Immediately popping up to his feet, Wildchild runs over to the ropes where only now Fasaki is climbing to the apron. With both men’s hands on the top rope, Wildchild pulls hard and low on the cable and uses them to propel Fasaki right into the middle of the ring with a slingshot. Quickly moving back on top of the situation, The Human Hurricane blasts Fasaki with another hard right hand that knocks the United States Champion back into the ropes. Immediately grabbing Ejiro by the arm yet again, Wildchild heaves his teacher into the ropes before knocking him to the canvas once again with a rolling elbow across the chest. Hitting the mat with a roll, Fasaki finds himself on the concrete floor once again with an angry Wildchild ready and willing to dish out the pain. Immediately hitting the ropes once again as he watches Fasaki crawl to his feet, Wildchild looks to deal out some more pain to his most hated rival.

 

When his second most hated rival intervenes!

 

BAM!

 

“INTERCEPTION!” calls out Bobbie Riley with a sadistic glee. “With Wildchild’s whole attention focused on his target, it left him wide open for Hearford to make like a Mac Truck and run him down with a charging lariat!”

 

“That is always the danger with these handicapped match,” concedes The Cyclone Comet. “When you face two men you have to focus on one if you want to get him weak enough to pin. But if you do that, it leaves you totally open to the other to do the damage.”

And now is Judge Hearford’s chance to do that damage as he leans into Wildchild by dropping a hard elbow right down into the short ribs. Immediately calling out in pain, Wildchild betrays that he is not at full strength even now two weeks after Genesis IV from that hardcore contest with Johnny Dangerous. But that only proves to be a sick sort of glee for The Judge as he silently stalks Wildchild. Lashing out with a kick to the ribs, The Judge serves not only to injure The Bahamas Bomber but to also buy time for Justice and Rule to get their collective act together. And that is just what seems to happen as Ejiro slowly rolls into the ring to join his partner in this completely legal assault on Wildchild. Together the former tag team champions press Wildchild back against the ropes and send him flying across the ring with a double whip. Then as Wildchild returns to them, Justice and Rule look to send Wildchild over with a double backdrop. But rather than obliging his hosts, Wildchild buts on the breaks and snaps a kick into Fasaki that sends him flying down to the canvas. Then before Hearford can even figure out just what has occurred, the Hardcore Gamers Champion grabs him by the head and slams it into the canvas!

 

“Ostracizer!” shouts out The Cyclone Comet informing the crowd as to the name of this face buster as The Judge rolls over to his back from the force of the impact.

 

“Christ could Wildchild get any more miserable? When you’re renaming moves so they reflect your tortured soul…”

 

“Shut up! Cover!”

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEE! NO! EJIRO MAKES THE SAVE!

 

Diving onto the pile with a forearm, Fasaki manages to break up the cover and what would have to be considered a major upset considering the stipulations around this contest. Immediately slamming two elbows into the side of Wildchild’s face, Ejiro stuns his long time rival long enough to grab him around the waist before jerking him to waist level before dropping him down on his knee with a side backbreaker. Arching in pain from his ribs being once again battered by his rivals, Wildchild almost springs up all the way to his feet from the force of the impact before taking a fall strait backward flat to the canvas. Immediately looking to do some more damage before Wildchild can recover, Ejiro pulls The Human Hurricane up to his feet and hooks him into a front facelock with what looks to be the set up for a vertical suplex. But as Wildchild finds himself up in the air, he kicks with his legs hard enough to fall right back down to his feet and block the suplex. Not wasting a second once he thwarts the suplex attempt, Wildchild immediately turns right out of the suplex and drive Fasaki down to the canvas with a Fujiwara armbar!

 

“Talk about reaping what you sow!” laughs The Cyclone Comet as Ejiro screams as his shoulder is pulled nearly out of socket. “If Fasaki wasn’t such a complete bastard, Wildchild would never have gone to a ground based submission like he is right now!”

 

“Ingrate!” shouts Bobbie Riley. “Seems as though Tom Flesher is rubbing off on everyone in this damn company.”

 

“I think you’ve done enough rubbing off for everyone.”

 

Cranking back on the shoulder as hard as he can, Wildchild hopes to pull a submission from the lips of the United States Champion. But once again the numbers game proves to be too much as The Judge jams his foot right into the face of The Bahamas Bomber to save his partner from an embarrassing defeat. Ejiro kicks back up to his feet, holding his arm as he stumbles over to be tagged by the Judge. The old man moves right in, giving Wildchild a field goal kick right to the gut to keep him on the ground. With boos assailing him from all sides, Hearford goes to work. He pulls up the camel-skinned man up to his feet and walks backwards towards the ropes a few feet before spinning Wildchild around and hooking both his arms under Wildchild’s arm and around his neck. He steps his one leg around for leverage as he locks on a painful Abdominal Stretch!

 

“The legal leech pulls out an Abdominal Stretch of Extreme Boredom!” says Comet as Wildchild shakes his head at the ref’s requests of giving up.

 

“Boredom!? More like good strategy. Mildchild’s ribs have got to be killing him right now!”

 

Hearford let’s go with one arm, keeping the hold on with a single arm as he reaches back towards the ropes… and his partner Fasaki grabs his hand and pulls it hard, using it to give him even more leverage on the hold! Wildchild yells out in pain but he continues to say “No… non…” to each of the zebra’s questions. The referee goes to check the other side of Hearford, and Ejiro immediately lets go to allow Hearford to keep the hold on.

 

“How dare he! Ejiro is pulling on the Judge’s hand to give Citizen Hearford more leverage on the hold!”

 

“No, Comet,” says Bobbie dimissively, “It’s that old joke pull my finger, but he keeps missing it and grabbing his hand.”

 

“…”

 

“Okay, that was bad even for me, but still: If the ref doesn’t see it it’s legal!”

 

The referee goes back to talking to Wildchild again, and Ejiro goes right back to grabbing Hearford’s arm, causing the Bahaman Bomber to yell out in agony once again. He gives another defiant “No!” and the ref looks over at the Judge’s other arm. But this time Justice and Rule get caught with their hands in the cookie jar as neither lets go quick enough. The old man tries to explain it away but the ref won’t have any of it, pushing him off of Wildchild and back for a talking to. As he does, Fasaki gives him a quick tag on the back, allowing him to step into the ring! He immediately rushes over and jumps up, leaping onto a rising Wildchild’s back with a knee drop! The Bahaman Bomber is driven back into the mat rather painfully, and Fasaki gets back up to his feet, taking a second to strut around and taunt the crowd.

 

“Come on, Wildchild, this is it!” says Comet as Fasaki begins to pull up the dazed Hardcore Champion, “You can defeat this devilish duo! Do it for freedom! Do it for JUSTICE~!”

 

Maybe Wildchild actually heard him, or maybe he just hates Fasaki that much, but he fights through the pain and weakness, breaking away from Ejiro’s grip and grabbing him around the legs. Not expecting the young man to fight back at all, the Sarasota Cobra is driven to the ground as Wildchild manages to roll through the two-legged takedown right back up to his feet. He fights against the back pain as he runs towards the ropes, leaping up onto the second rope just as Ejiro begins to gain his footing…

 

*CRUNCH*

 

And flies off, swinging his body around for a huge springboard plancha! He presses Ejiro against he mat as the referee goes for the count!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREENO! Ejiro kicks out, his pride hurt after Wildchild got the best of him after that one. Meanwhile Wildchild rolls over, holding his back in pain, but his urge to free himself from his bonds are enough to begin driving him back up off the canvas.

 

*CRACK*

 

Not quicker than Ejiro, though, as he delivers an elbow right into the side of his head!

 

“Wildchild has been a Human Torch in the ring, lighting it both men with his fantastic acrobatics,” says Comet, “But it looks as though Justice and Rule are fighting back through the initial shock of the Bahaman Bomber’s first strike.”

 

“Yeah, the dirty criminal even had the nerve to attack before the bell!”

 

Ejiro lashes out at his ‘apprentice’ with another bout of elbows, one after another until he backs the disgruntled face back towards his corner. Hearford tags and both men grab the imperiled man by his wrists, tossing him towards the other side as they wind up their arms, preparing for stereo lariats…

 

 

 

… That misses! The crowd explodes into cheers as Wildchild ducks under both clotheslines and steps back up onto the ring ropes, springboarding off as the two turn around, allowing Wildchild to turn around in the air and grabs a double front facelock! Already falling backwards while momentum carries him forward, he spikes both of the men’s heads right into the mat with a fantastic double springboard DDT! The crowd goes insane at the crazy move, but they soon begin to notice their hero lying on the ground arching his back and panting hard.

 

“WILD!”

 

“CHILD!”

 

“WILD!”

 

“CHILD!”

 

“WILD!”

 

“CHILD!”

 

“WILD!”

 

“CHILD!”

 

The dueling chants shoot across from either side of the Hampton Coliseum quickly begin grow as the Wildchild instinctively rolls over his ‘master’, Ejiro, for a cover!

 

…

 

…

 

“No! He’s too tired to realize he’s pinning the wrong man!”

 

“Yes! Figures the idiot couldn’t keep track of who is in and who is out…”

 

The referee shakes his head, telling Wildchild he has to pin the legal man, Hearford! Wildchild gives a hapless look before turning around and flipping ‘Judge Mental’ onto his back for a pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREEENO! The Judge barely gets a shoulder up! Wildchild gives a long sigh before closing his eyes and gritting his teeth for a moment, the pain in his back excruciating. But he begins to get up, as does Ejiro behind him. The Sarasota Cobra begins to ready a strike from behind, but thankfully for Wildchild the ref is there to push him back, getting a pop from the crowd for stopping a backhanded blow and allowing Wildchild to pull the Judge up to his feet. He takes the big man and tries to whip him away, but the old man stays his ground and uses his size to reverse the hold and swing one half of Wild and Dangerous to the other side. Wildchild comes back off the ropes and leaps into the air, trying to get a Crossbody attempt, but as he hits Hearford wraps his arms around him, catching him in mid air! The old man barely manages to stay up, but that’s just enough as he drops Wildchild right down on his knee with a devastating backbreaker! But instead of simply making the pin there he staggers over towards an anxious Ejiro, who wildly waves his hand trying to get a tag. Justice gives it to him, and Rule leaps over the ropes onto the second rope, backflipping off for a perfect Lionsault right onto the still-stunned ‘apprentice’!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREEENO! Wildchild boldly thrusts his shoulder up, not willing to give up his chance at freedom so easily!

 

“Incredible! After a combination like that any normal Bruce Banner would have been done, but Wildchild has the endurance and perseverance of the Hulk!”

 

“He’s about as smart as that green lug as well. He could have won it with that double DDT had he been smart enough to cover the right guy.”

 

“I’d like to see you think as clearly as he’s been when being double-teamed by two different men.”

 

In the ring Ejiro begins to pull Wildchild up again, giving him a knee to the stomach before locking on a front facelock. He pulls him over towards back over towards his corner where he tags out to Justice. Hearford’s still a little tired but he’s certainly better than Wildchild at the moment as Ejiro pulls up one of Wildchild’s arms and turns him on his side, allowing Hearford to give him a sharp kick to the gut and take over.

 

“It’s over now,” remarks a confident Riley, “Justice and Rule are starting to get those quick tags in and without even someone to tag out to he’s fricken screwed.”

 

Indeed it doesn’t look to be getting any better for Wildchild in the ring as the Judge pushes him up to standing and fires off a hard knife-edged chop into his chest!

 

SMACK!

 

BOOOO!

 

He doesn’t get the normal “Flair” reaction this time, though; the crowd is way too angry with the duo hurting their ‘student’ like they are right now. Nevertheless, he fires off another knife-edged chop!

 

SMACK!

 

BOOOO!

 

SMACK!

 

BOOOO!

 

 

A large red welt begins to form of the chest of the lone foreigner in the ring as he tries to block the next hit, covering his chest with crossed arms. But Hearford gives an evil smile, pulling away one of the arms and whipping him towards the ropes. Wildchild hits the ropes, but he doesn’t run back as Ejiro brings up his knee right into the back of his ‘apprentice’, much to the ire of the crowd. The Bahaman Bomber takes a few steps before dropping to his knees, and Hearford immediately moves in and nails him in the chest with a low dropkick! The old man quickly scrambles onto his hands and hooks Wildchild’s leg as he goes for a pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREEENO! He gets a shoulder up just in time, getting a small pop from the crowd but it’s obvious that he’s fading very fast.

 

“The stupid convict should just stay down already. He’s only hurting himself…”

 

“He can’t, Bobbie. He’s fighting for something worth the pain. He’s fighting for FREEEEDOOOOO-“ Comet starts, but Riley quickly cups his mouth.

 

“Man, don’t! We do NOT need Mel Gibson’s attorneys breathing down our necks for copyright infringement or something stupid like that.”

 

Pulling him back up to his feet, Hearford locks up with the little man, pushing him backwards towards the other side of the ring. But the speedy man manages to break away, grabbing at the Judge’s legs just like he did to Ejiro! Not expecting an attack like that from a high flyer, Hearford is easily put to the ground as Wildchild holds onto the old man’s legs for a jackknife pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THNO! Ejiro breaks up the pin! He pulls up Wildchild as the referee begins yelling for him to exit, but the ‘master’ won’t do any such thing. He pulls him up to his feet, but the Bahaman Bomber pulls away, kicking Fasaki in the gut! Ejiro doubles over, and Wildchild immediately hooks his legs around Fasaki for the Caribbean Cutter! But as he rides his adrenaline high he doesn’t go for the pin, instead, he turns back to a rising Hearford. He immediately runs over, nearly decapitating the old man with a flying leg lariat! He begins to get back up again, and he moves out onto the apron as Hearford begins to get up. Fighting against the pain in his back, he leaps up to the top rope and leaps onto Hearford’s shoulders for a big Hurricanrana…

 

 

… but his back isn’t strong enough to whip around and take the Judge to the ground! The old man manages to pull him back up, putting him in powerbomb position. He holds him there for a moment as a dazed Ejiro begins to get up and sees the opportunity. Rule rushes over, but instead of hooking on a facelock he hooks Wildchild’s arms? Indeed, and the Judge helps him get Wildchild’s legs around his calf as he hooks Wildchild’s chin with one of his hands…

 

*CA-RACK*

 

 

… and sits out for a Gory Special Neckbreaker! “Wild Ride Delux!” shouts Bobbie as Fasaki begins to move away with a smile on his face, allowing the Judge to make the cover.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“He was so close,” says an almost mournful Comet as Funyon does his normal spiel, but the Judge grabs away his mic. Meanwhile, on the outside Fasaki pulls out a table and pushes it into the ring, but keeps looking under the canvas for something.

 

“Well, Wildchild, you certainly tried hard,” he says with a smile, “But trying isn’t enough. You still failed, which means you obviously haven’t learned enough.”

 

He looks over towards Ejiro now, who smiles as he pulls something up from under the ring.

 

 

 

 

A can of Lighter Fluid. He enters the ring, pushing the frantic referee away as he takes the mic away from his partner.

 

“Consider this tough love, buddy.”

 

They quickly set up the table as the ref exits under the rope, looking for a fire extinguisher as the two deftly set up the table. Ejiro pulls out a pack of matches as Hearford squirts the volatile fluid onto the surface. They toss a match on top, lighting it aflame. Ejiro pulls up Wildchild into backdrop position near the corner as the Judge gets up onto the second rope, getting Wildchild handed to him on his shoulders. He waits for a second before leaping off, sending Wildchild right through the inferno! The arena erupts into riot as the two leave and the ref reenters, spraying the fire out with the extinguisher quickly.

 

“These two are truly pure evil!” says Comet, almost ready to leap over the table and take them out himself.

 

“Hey, maybe Wildchild will learn not to lose in big situations. Anyways, we’ll be right back with the Tag Title match! Stay tuned!”

[Kaertos 0]

A camera stationed high above the fans in the Hampton Coliseum looks down on the milling crowd below as SWF Lockdown returns to the airwaves! Camera bulbs are flickering, the lights of the Lockdown stage are flashing, as we cut to CYCLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE COMET and Citizen Robert Riley!

 

"...And we're back on SWF Lockdown, LIVE in Hampton, Bobby Riley here on commentary with Cyclone Comet! Tom Flesher is in the house tonight, and he'll be defending his SWF World Heavyweight Title against none other than The Boston Strangler!"

 

"Not only that, Citizen Robert, but also tonight we will have a new #1 contender as Dace Night, The King Of Nightmares Michael Craven, and the Silent One will all go at it in a triple threat match! What an exciting night of wrestling we have ahead for all of you loyal fans!"

 

"But how could we overlook RIGHT NOW... because it's time to DANCE! DANCE! DANCE!"

 

"Oh lord..."

 

Naoki Kameda's "B4U" kicks in, and the fans jump to their feet! The infectious beats blast out of the speakers at a breakneck pace, as the Bemani Cross Wizards dance their way out onto the Lockdown stage! The crowd cheers at the sight of Thoth and Ced Ordonez as they spin and groove their way down the entranceway, slapping outstretched hands of fans as the lights flicker and flash above them. Both men enter the ring and do a little dance for the fans.

 

"LADIES and GENTLEMEN," Funyon booms out as he stands in the ring under the strobe lights, "this non-title tag team bout is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and thirty-seven pounds. They are Thoth and Ced Ordonez...the BEMANI...CROSS...WIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZARDS!"

 

"Listen to this crowd, Citizen Robert!" Comet screams, seemingly ready to jump out of his chair and cut up some rug, "The Bemani Cross Wizards have only been back for two shows, and they're already strong fan favorites!"

 

"Fortunately, tag matches aren't decided by the decibel level of the fans," Riley snaps back at Comet, obviously not feeling the groove of the moment. "It's all about talent, and the team that has it is about to come out right now!"

 

"Hollywood Squares" by the Dillinger Escape Plan and Mike Patton explodes over the PA system, and the crowd's energetic feel suddenly is glazed over into thunderous boos. Quiz jumps out from behind the curtain, wearing his tag title belt and asking for a microphone as John Duran confidently walks out behind him, showing off his newly "earned" tag title belt. Duran moves his jaw around slightly, showing that the jaw pain still hasn't completely worn off just yet.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the new hit show Sinquizition! We have two contestants tonight, and John Duran, your question is this! Which tag team will emerge victorious tonight?"

 

Quiz thrusts the microphone up to Duran's mouth, and Duran is surprised by this.

 

"Enough with the games, Quiz. Let's just kick ass."

 

"THAT IS CORRECT, SIR!"

 

Quiz tosses the microphone back in the general direction of the ring attendant as both men move down the aisle.

 

"And their opponents," Funyon continues, "weighing in at a combined four hundred and fifty-four pounds; Quiz, "The Sinner" John Duran, they are...SIN-QUIZITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTION!"

 

Sinquizition enter the ring as the Wizards stand off on the opposite side of the ring, talking strategy. Duran and Quiz remove their belts, handing them to the ref as he gives them over to a ringside attendant. John and Quiz have a little pow-wow of their own, and determine that it will be Quiz starting the match. Meanwhile, Ced steps out of the ring, as it appears the smaller members of both teams will be kicking off the match.

 

"It's about time we figure out if Sinquizition can work together as a team," Comet shouts, "this is their first match against a more experienced team in the Wizards, and it'll be interesting to see how they manage to mesh!"

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Quiz and Ced both slowly approach each other in the center of the ring. They both stare at each other for a moment, before Quiz raises a hand up, calling for a test of strength. Ced looks around to the crowd and they boo back in response, but Ordonez likes his chances and raises his hand up to meet Quiz's. As both hands lock together, Quiz brings his boot up towards the abdomen of Ced. However, Ordonez blocks the kick, shoving Quiz' leg back down to the ground before falling over to his right, bringing Quiz over with him as the game show man ends up on the wrong side of an armdrag takedown! Quiz snaps right back to his feet, charging Ced once again, but Ordonez just repeats the process, tossing Quiz over again with yet another armdrag!

 

"Impressive start to the match from Ced, as we haven't seen him in a SWF ring for a while," Comet comments, already singing the praise of one-half of the Bemani Cross Wizards and making Riley sick to his stomach.

 

Meanwhile, in the ring, Quiz tries again, going after Ced. Ced bends over into a ready position, ready to armdrag Quiz over once again, but Quiz surprises Ced by coming to a stop! Ordonez stands up stiff, but that's all he can do as Quiz capitalizes on his element of surprise with a roundhouse kick that sends Ced to the mat. The fans boo Quiz as he grins, taking advantage of the match for the time being.

 

Riley laughs at Comet before continuing his commentary. "No matter what, Comet, you had to know that Ced would have ring rust, and that's a prime example of it right there! Quiz is fresh! He's hip!"

 

"I'm holding out hope on Ced and Thoth, Riley. They're the more established team, by far."

 

Quiz doesn't let up on Ced, keeping him on the mat as Quiz stomps away at a fallen Ordonez. After a series of three stomps, Quiz grabs Ced by his head, bringing Ordonez to his feet. Quiz then brings up his right hand, slapping it across the face of Ced and disrespecting the dancing fool as the crowd's boos increase in volume. Quiz hits another slap, pushing Ced into a neutral corner, keeping Ordonez away from his partner Thoth. Quiz brings his left hand up, slapping Ced once again, and then bringing his right arm around and giving Ced a forearm to the face. Ordonez is in trouble as his chin is lifted up in the air, exposing his chest as Quiz chops it, lifting the chin again, chopping the chest of Ordonez once again, and then backing up out of the corner just slightly, enough to perform a backflip and catch Ced in the face with a stiff boot!

 

"Quiz Show Combo," Riley shouts, "marvelously done by Quiz!"

 

Ced staggers out of the corner after being worked over, and Quiz rises to his feet, grabbing Ced and keeping him under the control of Sinquizition as both small men move to the corner. Quiz reaches out his hand and slaps it with the reaching hand of Duran, as the Sinner enters the ring. Quiz performs an arm wringer on Ordonez, keeping the Wizard under control, twisting his arm as Duran moves in for the kill, bringing up a boot and slamming it into the solar plexus of Ced!

 

"What do you say now about Sinquizition, Comet," Riley asks snootily, questioning Comet's early concerns about Sinquizition's lack of experience.

 

"Please, Citizen Robert," Comet begins, "spare me all this talk. It was a simple double team maneuver, I'm sure even you could pull it off."

 

Duran grabs Ced, taking control of the match from Quiz as the smaller man steps out of the ring. Duran quickly knees Ced in the stomach, doubling Ordonez over even further, and the Sinner takes advantage, wrapping his arm around Ced’s neck! The crowd pops as John grabs the top of Ced’s black tights, using his strength to heave Ced up into vertical suplex position! Duran holds Ordonez there for a few seconds, showing off his superior strength before falling back, drilling Ced with the stalling suplex!

 

“Hard stalling suplex from Duran,” Riley notes, “and unlike the departed Show, Duran is more than capable of handling himself in that ring, compiling a seven and four record thus far in the SWF!”

 

Ordonez gets to his feet quickly, the effects of the moves thus far unable to slow him down. Ced grabs the ropes, bouncing off of them and charging at Duran, looking to floor the Sinner with a lariat – but Duran ducks, and Ced goes flying into the opposite ropes! Quickly formulating a plan as Ordonez comes back, Duran stretches out his arm and brings it crashing across the sternum of one Ced Ordonez!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

 

Ced hits the mat like a sack of cement, grabbing his back in pain as Duran grins sadistically, reaching down and pulling Ordonez to his feet. John grabs the Wizard by the arm, whipping him into the Sinquizition turnbuckle and following up, mercy nowhere to be found in his eyes.

 

“Duran is taking this opportunity to show that he’s been overlooked all along!” Riley cries.

 

“Maybe so,” Comet retorts, “but if Citizen John can’t even win a title honorably, then he has no reason to be looked at!”

 

Duran balls his hands up into fists, looking at Ordonez’s chest and looking at his right fist… and catching Ced with a HUGE shot to the abdomen! Ordonez crumples into a standing fetal position, his mouth in a grimace underneath his DDR mask as he slides down the turnbuckle… but Duran grabs him by the spiked hair, lifting him back up into a standing position. The crowd boos as Duran sizes Ordonez up once more, again looking at Ced’s midsection as he winds up, and catching him with another hard body shot, this time to the kidneys!

 

“BEE – CEE – DUB! BEE – CEE – DUB!”

 

The crowd’s chanting for Ordonez to make a comeback masks the cry of pain from Ordonez, as Ced slides down the turnbuckle once more, his stomach obviously in pain. Duran grins as he grabs Ced by the spiked hair once more, lifting the Wizard into a standing position. He pulls back with the right fist, his eyes like rifle sights, locking onto the chin of Ordonez as he winds up, bringing his fist forward…

 

BUT ORDONEZ DUCKS! DURAN CATCHES QUIZ RIGHT IN THE JAW!

 

“CITIZEN CED DUCKS!” Comet cries. “John Duran just took out his teammate! What do you have to say for their lack of experience now, Bobbo?”

 

“…I have nothing to say,” Riley replies glumly.

 

The crowd goes absolutely nuts as Duran punches Quiz in the teeth, the smaller tag champ falling off the apron and to the thin protective mats below as Ordonez, in the ring, suddenly catches fire! He rolls by Duran’s leg, jumping to his feet behind the Sinner before jumping down again, catching Duran with a dropkick to the back of the right knee! Duran crumples to the mat, grabbing his right leg in pain as Ordonez hits the mat hard as well, trying to catch a quick breather before tagging out to Thoth!

 

“Both of these men could use a tag,” Comet says, “but Ordonez more than Duran!”

 

“So what,” Riley asks sarcastically, “just because they’re whitebread DDR freaks, you love them?”

 

Duran extends his knee in the corner, testing it out to make sure that it’s okay as Ced rolls over onto his stomach, crawling towards Thoth and looking for the desperate tag, Thoth grabbing the tag rope tightly in one hand and reaching as far as he can over the ropes with the other!

 

“BEE – CEE – DUB! BEE – CEE – DUB!”

 

The crowd’s chanting gets louder and louder as Ced inches ever closer to Thoth, but the chants are not lost on the ears of John Duran, as the Sinner, hearing them, looks behind him… to see Ced Ordonez, dangerously close to Thoth! Angrily, Duran springs to his feet, noticeably limping as he reaches forward, grabbing Ordonez by the leg and pulling him back over to the Sinquizition corner! Hoping to get some time for his leg to heal, Duran looks to tag out to Quiz – but the game show host is still down and out outside the ring! Duran leans out, looking at the recuperating Quiz, and yells at him to hurry up before reaching for Ordonez and lifting him to his feet.

 

"Ordonez was so close to tagging Thoth into this bout," Comet complains, "he needs to compose himself and take down Duran to get to his partner-in-dancin'!"

 

"Not going to happen," Riley says matter-of-factly, "Duran's setback in the corner with Ced was a minor one, I'm sure he's got things under control now."

 

The crowd continues to buzz, hoping that another momentum switch for the Bemani Cross Wizards is on the way as Duran nails Ced with a right hand. Ordonez staggers backwards from the blow, and Duran keeps the heat on by stepping up and hitting another right hand! "Johnnybaby" has Ced reeling as he grabs Ordonez by the hair, keeping the Wizard steady as Duran rushes forward headfirst, blasting Ced with a well-placed headbutt! Ced collapses to the mat after the blow to the cranium, and Duran himself has to shake out a little pain in his head before he swings around to put a lateral press on Ced! Referee Sexton Hardcastle drops to the mat to count the pinfall!

 

”ONE!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

”TWO!!!!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

”THRE.......” KICKOUT!

 

"Noo!" Riley yells, "so close!"

 

"Ced is hanging in there," Comet begins, "but I'm afraid that the second pinfall attempt of this match won't happen until Ced has received an improper thrashing!"

 

The crowd lets out a hearty cheer for the good guys as Ced just manages to kick out before the count of three! Thoth is practically begging Ced to let him into the ring, yelling at him, pleading for him to get to the corner and make the tag, as the audience chants along.

 

"BEE - CEE - DUB! BEE - CEE - DUB!"

 

Duran looks up and notices Quiz climbing up onto the apron, using this opportunity to keep Ced from getting very far, grabbing Ordonez by the hair and dragging him towards the Sinquizition corner. The smaller Wizard of the team is prone to attack as Quiz and Duran slap hands, referee Hardcastle acknowledging the tag as Quiz enters the ring. Quiz has a few words with Duran, likely about "The Sinner" punching Quiz's lights out, but Quiz soon turns his attention to Ced and nails him with a hard right handed slap! Ced continues to be disrespected in the corner as the crowd continues to boo Sinquizition.

 

"Those dastardly men of Sinquizition will soon pay," Comet predicts.

 

"Are your hot tag senses tingling, Comet?" Riley responds, mocking the superhero.

 

Quiz hits Ced with a forearm, seemingly setting up for yet another Quiz Show combo, but as Ced staggers back into the center of the ring, Quiz seems to change his mind as he turns to the left, shuffling his feet and bringing his right leg up.

 

SMACK!

 

The boot of Quiz connects with Ced's chin as Ordonez feels the full effect of the superkick. The crowd continues to boo as Quiz taunts the crowd while Ced recovers from the latest attack on the mat. Quiz mugs some more for the crowd before he turns his attention back to Ordonez, walking over and flipping Ced over onto his stomach. Quiz gets on top of Ced by standing on the back of Ordonez' knees, and Ced is already in some obvious pain! Quiz bends down and grabs Ced's arms, raising them in the air before falling back onto the mat, bringing Ced up onto his knees as Ordonez screams out in pain!

 

"The Card Shark Stretch!" yells an excited Riley, "Ced is finished!"

 

Comet defies Riley's yelling, however. "No way! Ced is far too resilient to go down to evil!"

 

Things are not looking good for Ced, as he seems to be in plenty of pain. Referee Hardcastle leans in and asks Ced if he gives up, but Ordonez shakes his head no. Unfortunately, his head seems to be the only moving part on his body as Quiz has immobilized him with the Card Shark Stretch. The crowd builds up support for Ced, wanting Ordonez to fight off the Stretch.

 

"He won't be able to reach the ropes," Riley declares, giddy like a schoolgirl, "unless he bites down onto them!"

 

As Riley laughs, Comet begins. "He has to fight this off! Thoth wants to be in that ring in the worst way!"

 

Sexton leans in again and asks Ced if he quits, but Ordonez grits his teeth and shakes his head no, as the chant for the Bemani Cross Wizards grows in strength and intensity.

 

"BEE - CEE - DUB! BEE - CEE - DUB!"

 

Quiz has seen enough, as he lets the Card Shark Stretch go, unable to make Ced submit even after being in the ring for an extended period. The crowd cheers, but Quiz rises to his feet and calls for the Survivor Driver, which kills the crowd outright!

 

Riley is ecstatic. " The Bemani Cross Wizards are going to go down in their first match back, even though only one Wizard has even been in the ring! Marvelous!"

 

Comet disagrees with Riley's thoughts, however. "If Ced can get out of the Card Shark Stretch, he can definitely kick out of the Survivor Driver!"

 

Quiz waits for Ced to get to his feet, mugging to the crowd some more before Ordonez finally reaches his feet. Ced brings his right boot up to kick Quiz in the midsection, but Quiz grabs it and laughs in Ced's face. The crowd lets out a loud round of boos, before Ced comes around with his other leg.

 

WHACK!

 

"GAMENGIRI!" Comet shouts, thrilled, "CED HIT THE GAMENGIRI!"

 

The crowd is practically jumping out of their seats now as the momentum of the match suddenly is at a standstill. Ced is beaten down and battered as he tries to rise up to inch towards the Bemani Cross Wizards corner, but he's having difficulties, even with the crowd behind him. Unfortunately, Quiz is able to shake off the effects of the Gamengiri as he rises to the feet, going over to Ced and grabbing him by the hair!

 

"Can't the poor man get a break," Comet pleas, "he's spent most of the match getting beaten on his feet!"

 

"Sinquizition shall show no mercy," Riley proclaims, "and the Bemani Cross Wizards are the last tag team that anyone would grant mercy to!"

 

Quiz turns Ced around to face him, but Ordonez lashes out, draping his left arm around the neck of Quiz and then sweeping Quiz' legs out from under him.

 

BOOM!

 

The S.T.O. finds its mark as the crowd EXPLODES~!

 

"BEE - CEE - DUB! BEE - CEE - DUB!"

 

Ced begins to move his way towards the corner where Thoth is anxiously awaiting a tag, clutching the tag rope hard, wanting badly to be in this match! Meanwhile, Quiz has seen enough of the mat, as he inches his way towards the Sinquizition corner at the same time!

 

"He's almost there, he's going to make it, Riley!" Comet seems to almost be losing his voice, overwhelmed with excitement!

 

"This is impossible," Riley whines, "just a moment ago, Quiz was about to win this match once and for all for the Sinquizition!"

 

Ced reaches out...

 

And slaps the hand of Thoth!

 

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR

 

The crowd goes crazy, as Thoth enters the ring.

 

SLAP!

 

And Quiz connects with Duran's hand!

 

“THOTH IS IN THE MATCH!” Comet screams. “The Sinquizition is over and it’s time to set the hostages free!”

 

Duran runs into the ring, charging at Thoth and hoping to take out the Wizard before he gets too much momentum built up… but Thoth bends to the side, lifting his leg up high and using it to clothesline Duran! Quiz, now, gets up to try his luck at Thoth, looking for a superkick – but Thoth grabs the leg! He lets out a laugh like a hyena, and the crowd goes nuts as Thoth drops Quiz’s leg, whipping around and catching the game show host with a huge Roundhouse kick! The crowd erupts like a volcano as Thoth stands over the fallen Quiz and John Duran…

 

AND BUSTS OUT A QUICK DDR STEP!

 

“BEE – CEE – DUB! BEE – CEE – DUB!”

 

The crowd is riding a high as Thoth grabs John Duran by the long black hair, lifting him to his feet!

 

“Even when Sinquizition looks out for the count,” Comet yells, barely heard over the roar of the crowd, “Thoth can’t help but bust a move!”

 

“Bust a move was a different game entirely, you spandex-wearing [bEEP],” pouts Bobby Riley.

 

Thoth slaps Duran across the face a couple of times, making sure that John is out enough for Thoth to be able to hit the move he’s attempting. Thoth looks at Duran, then looks at the ropes…

 

And then, he charges at the ropes!

 

“BEE – CEE – DUB! BEE – CEE – DUB!”

 

The crowd erupts, having seen the Scum Gale several times before and looking forward to it springboard-style! Thoth hits the ropes, leaping into the air and landing on the middle rope! The rope goes down under his weight, but it snaps back up, springboarding Thoth high into the air! Thoth does a backflip, looking for the moonsault face slam as his arms are extended and reaching for John Duran’s head…

 

BUT DURAN STEPS ASIDE! Thoth, with nowhere to go, tries to bail from the backflip and does so with moderate success, landing on his knees but completely unbalanced! Duran takes advantage of this, going behind Thoth and locking him into a full nelson!

 

“MY-OH-MY HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED, COMET!” Riley roars. “Duran now has Thoth set up for the big finish – the Break Point!”

 

“If Duran can reverse on a fresh Thoth,” Comet shoots back, “then Thoth can do the same to a weakened John Duran!”

 

Angrily, the Sinner cinches in the full nelson, lifting Thoth up into the air, looking for a full-nelson slam…

 

BUT THOTH KICKS JOHN IN THE STOMACH IN MIDAIR!

 

Caught off guard, Duran releases the hold, and Thoth lands on his feet! As Duran staggers around, Thoth spots his chance, and heads for the ropes, leaping into the air and landing on the second one, springboarding off of it and performing a backflip, grabbing Duran by the head in midair and landing in a sitting position, slamming the Sinner’s head into the mat X-Factor style!

 

“SCUM GALE! SCUM GALE BY THOTH!” Comet nearly has a superhero-sized heart attack. “IF THIS WERE A TITLE MATCH WE WOULD HAVE NEW TAG CHAMPIONS!”

 

Nonchalantly, and fully expecting the match to be over, Thoth rolls Duran onto his back and makes the cover. Referee Sexton Hardcastle slides into position, the fans behind every count!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!”

 

 

 

“TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

 

 

 

“THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

 

 

 

“NO!”

 

Quiz slides into the ring, just barely dropping a double axe-handle across Thoth’s back to break up the count! The crowd lashes out at Quiz in boos as he quickly slides out of the ring and onto the apron, grabbing the tag rope tightly and sneering at Thoth.

 

“QUIZ BREAKS UP THE COUNT!” hyperventilates Riley. “Quiz breaks up the Bemani Cross Wizards pin, and destroys their momentum with it!”

 

“BEE – CEE – DUB! BEE – CEE – DUB!”

 

“They may have silenced Thoth and Ced Ordonez,” Comet fires back, “but they cannot silence this crowd!”

 

Thoth stares out at Quiz, but as Hardcastle goes over to scold Quiz a look of contentedness crosses the DDR freak’s face, and he turns back to John Duran…

 

*CHING!*

 

…who brings a fist up into his nuts! The crowd roars at Duran as he gets to his feet, stumbling over to Quiz and tagging him in! Quiz, without a moment’s hesitation, climbs the near turnbuckle, turning around to face Thoth as he stumbles around, grabbing his nuts. As Thoth moves into position, Quiz leaps off the ropes, flipping over in midair and grabbing Thoth by the neck, pulling him to the mat with a flipping neckbreaker!

 

“LIGHTNING ROUND FROM QUIZ!” Riley shouts. “This looks to be all she wrote for the Bemani Cross Wizards!”

 

Quiz points at John Duran, beckoning him to come into the ring – which he reluctantly does. Quiz pantomimes getting onto Duran’s shoulders, and getting electric chair dropped onto Thoth – and the crowd, seeing this, erupts in boos! The finally-recovered Ced Ordonez, in the corner, sees it as well and rushes into the ring after Quiz and Duran… only to run into a lariat from Duran! Ced hits the mat hard, and Quiz nods furiously, the look on his face plainly saying “DO IT NOW OR WE LOSE!”

 

Quiz turns around, and Duran bends over, sticking his head between Quiz’s legs and lifting his fellow Tag champ into the air, in electric chair drop position! The crowd boos like anger, knowing the X For The Block from the Double Jeopardy days, and Duran inches closer to Thoth…

 

And ELECTRIC CHAIR DROPS QUIZ ACROSS THE HEAD OF THOTH!

 

The crowd erupts in boos as Quiz grabs his ribs in pain, obviously in agony as Duran slides out of the ring, leaving Quiz in the ring with a possibly unconscious Thoth… and Quiz crawls on top, referee Hardcastle beginning the count to the crowd’s chagrin!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!”

 

Ced Ordonez, recognizing the sound of fleshy hand hitting canvas, begins to stir, and Duran, realizing his error in not taking Ordonez out, quickly steps back into the ring!

 

“TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Ordonez hits his feet, rushing Quiz and Thoth and looking to break up the pinfall…

 

BUT HE GETS TAKEN OUT BY A CACTUS CLOTHESLINE FROM DURAN! Both men go flying out of the ring, leaving Quiz all alone on top of Thoth, who just has to get one shoulder up!

 

 

 

“THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

 

 

 

 

…but he can’t. Quiz rolls off of Thoth at three and bails out of the ring, running about a quarter of the way up the ramp before turning around to survey the handiwork of Sinquizition!

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR winners, the SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD, Quiz and “The Sinner” John Duran… SIIIIIIIIIN-QUIIIIIIIIIIZ-ITION!”

 

The crowd erupts in boos as Duran, hearing the announcement, begins to stalk towards the ramp, calmly walking up it. As he reaches Quiz the cruiser Tag champ grins, wrapping his sweat-covered arms around Duran. Referee Hardcastle, having grabbed the Tag belts, runs up the ramp to meet them, handing each one a tag belt and raising their arms in the air! The two grin, at the birth of a new tag threat!

 

And we shift to a shot of Thoth and Ced Ordonez, and the look on their faces is simple.

 

The death of that tag threat is on the horizon.

 

Fade to black…

[Kaertos 0]

Backstage once again, and The Perfect Drug stands in front of a makeshift set, sweeping dreadlocks from his face. Next to him, a slight woman stands, clad in jeans and a button up shirt, smiling giddily from ear to ear. She raises a microphone and looks into the camera.

 

-Tia “This is Tia Naye, live on Lockdown with Xstasy! X, you’re scheduled to go one on one with Erek Taylor. The fans would like to know how you’re going to approach this matchup.”

 

Xstasy looks down at her, grinning mischievously.

 

-Xstasy “No they don’t.”

 

-Tia “Umm… yeah they do, X.”

 

-X “No, they don’t. What the fans really want to know is how our date went last week.”

 

Tia immediately blushes and tries to give X the evil eye, all the while smiling bashfully.

 

-X “So, why don’t you tell them?”

 

-Tia “X, you know we shouldn’t kiss and tell!”

 

-X “Then you’ll admit that we kissed?”

 

-Tia “X!”

 

-X “I’m just trying to give the fans what they want. Okay, why don’t we ask them what they want. Does anybody out there want to HAVE X, in Hampton, Virginia?!”

 

The arena goes wild for the catchphrase and for their hometown as Xstasy smiles at Tia once more. She just shakes her head at him.

 

-Tia “Show off.”

 

-X “And Hampton, let’s see if anybody wants to have Tia Naye!!”

 

Again, the explosion of pop. Tia blushes and just keeps the microphone in front of him as he chuckles.

 

-X “Well, coming up, the Perfect Drug gets to face Erek Taylor. E. T. Phone home, what the hell is that all about? The guy comes in here, and doesn’t get a match with The Boston Strangler, probably because Strangler will give him too much of a beat down,” the people cheer for TBS as X continues. “So, somebody decided to feed the rascal to the Drug. And you know how that goes, once you get one dose, you’ll never get enough. That means it has no choice, the drug that is, but to beat his pink paisley beeyatch ass, UP and DOWN the ring! Oh, and just in case, E.T., the Extra Terrestrial, had better hope Strangler doesn’t show up tonight, because as much as the Drug can speak for itself, it can’t speak for TBS, you’ll have a whole new bone arrangement by the time that guy’s through with you!”

 

The people are worked into a frenzy as Xstasy pauses for their cheers. Then he continues.

 

-X “But this is a big night for The Perfect Drug, a big night for all of the XSSSSSSSSSTATIC fans! Tonight, it has to prove itself in the ring, in the squared circle. This is its first match since it returned to the people who needed it most. And tonight, they need it to cure them of E.T., the parasite from outer space. And it makes no nevermind if it’s up against a former ICTV champion. It makes NO NEVERMIND if it’s up against the Fame and Fury as a finisher ‘COUGHweakasswannabexceptionCOUGH!’”

 

The crowd cheers again, and Tia shakes her head as he goes on.

 

-X “There is only one thing that these people want to see, and that is the parasite get cured. Cured tonight… by The Perfect Drug!”

 

Another huge shout of approval as Xstasy cocks an eyebrow and turns to Tia.

 

-X “Now, Miss Naye, the Drug has gotta go get changed. It would invite you to watch, but it seems like this camera is always following you around, and we can’t have it recording such indecencies… or can we?”

 

-Tia “Oh, get out of here boy, before I hit you with MY finisher!”

 

-X “Hmmm… is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

 

She playfully punches him in the shoulder as he waves goodbye and starts off.

 

-Tia “There he goes, ladies and gentlemen, the perfectly SILLY drug, with some strong words for Erek Taylor. And with a matchup tonight between these two high fliers, well its gonna be big!”

 

She leaves the frame as the show fades down to commercial.

[Kaertos 0]

“And now, the MAX Attack! Brought to you by Pepsi MAX! MAXIMUM Energy, MAXIMUM Joy… of Cola!”

 

The SmarkTron cuts to a replay of last week’s storm, showing the incident between Erek Taylor and The Boston Strangler.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Erek bolts out of the ring and races up the ramp, showing off his agility as he meets up with Strangler at the halfway point of the ramp and floors the mammoth with a mic shot to the back of the head!! A sound of static echoes across the arena as Erek starts stomping away on the Boston Strangler.

 

-Bobby Riley "You have got to be kidding me!! Strangler did the right thing by walking away and now Erek Taylor is just beating away on him!! Who is this new Erek Taylor? This was not the Erek Taylor we all once knew and loved!!"

 

-Cyclone Comet "I have no idea, Robert, but this new Erek Taylor must be punished!"

 

… the Wonder Kid continues his assault… Strangler gets up, and takes the beating, not once trying to retaliate… the Wonder Kid punishes Strangler with repetitive rights. Road agents and referees rush out from the back, tackling Erek Taylor to the ground as Strangler backs away, not once thinking of retaliation.

 

-Riley "Erek Taylor is a much, MUCH different man than he was before he came back here, Comet! I really like this new Erek!”

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The replay ends with a whirling 3-D Pepsi MAX logo, and quickly the ringside announcers pick up where the video package left off.

 

-Comet “Vile and despicable, that’s what it was, Bobby how could Erek blindside a fellow like that, and after he apologized?”

 

-Riley “Revenge knows no remorse, my friend. Erek T. is only out for justice, and that’s one thing that you should know about.”

 

-Comet “If its JUSTICE he wants, he should ask for a match. Settle it man to man, not with a microphone upside The Boston Strangler’s head!”

 

And speak of the devil… “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult sends the Coliseum into a shoutin’ good time! TBS makes his way onto the stage and across the ramp, looking a little humble and out of place, even as Hampton Virginia’s uproar increases.

 

-Riley “Now see what you’ve done, Comet? You called his name, and here he comes, at the time of a match featuring his nemesis.”

 

-Comet “Impeccable timing indeed. But I don’t think he’s here to interfere.”

 

As usual, the Caped Crusader is right. Strangler walks around the ring and to the announce table, inserting himself into the announcing dynamic by unfolding a chair next to Riley, and strapping on a set of headphones complete with mic.

 

-Riley “Hey there, chump.”

 

-Comet “RILEY!”

 

-Riley “Oh, I’m sorry. Champ! Wait, that’s not right either…”

 

-Comet “Excuse my partner, Strangler. He has a death wish.”

 

-Strangler “It’s okay, CC, I get the idea.”

 

TBS glares at Riley, who lets off in the icy cold glance of the 300 plus pounder, then pulls his microphone closer.

 

-Riley “Now Strangler, you know that Erek is gonna wrestle in a few seconds, and after what he said and did last week, well… what are you doing here?”

 

-Comet “Isn’t it obvious. He’s here to watch the match, a match that many people have clamored for. Two show-stoppers going head to head, and with the way these two wrestle, someone might not be getting up tonight.”

 

-Strangler “That much is true, and neither of them has been in the ring for some time.”

 

Comet nods as the arena goes to pitch darkness.

 

“And I WANT YOU!!!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!

 

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG!!”

 

The blinding white pyro excites the crowd, who roar loudly in approval of the silhouette it frames! Suddenly, the music of NIN kicks up, the pyro dies, and the Joy of X stands at the stage, smiling to his fans as he strolls to the ring.

 

DING DING DING

 

-Funyon “The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his return to the squared circle, from the Nation’s Capital, weighing in at 211 pounds… EXXXX… STASEEEEEEEEEEE!”

 

X slides into the ring and takes the near turnbuckle, crossing his arms over his head in a barrage of camera flashes. As he crosses to the other side, he looks at Strangler, and shakes his head.

 

-Comet “I don’t think Xstasy wants you out here, Strangler. Knowing him, he doesn’t want anything to take away from the match.”

 

-Strangler “He doesn’t have anything to worry about, guys. I’m here to watch, not to get involved.”

 

-Riley “Well once Erek gets out here, you might not have a choice.”

 

X repeats on the opposite turnbuckle, and then sits in the corner, facing the ramp. Just then, “Numb” starts, and cues up a chorus of boos. The strobe lights focus on the entryway, gently at first, then harshly, as the Wonder Kid, emerges, glaring into the ring.

 

-Funyon “And his opponent, making HIS return to the squared circle from Anaheim, California… weighing in at 180 pounds… ERRRRRRRRREK… TAYYYYYYYYYLORRRRRRRRRR!!”

 

Erek goes to the ring and enters, squinting his eyes at Xstasy, who barely notices. Then, Taylor turns towards the announce tables, shaking out his muscles, and sees Strangler.

 

-Riley “Uh oh, trouble in paradise.”

 

Both superstars stare at each other for what seems like an eternity. Erek looking quite upset, and Strangler wondering if his being there is a good idea. Cyclone Comet tries to break the tension.

 

-Comet “Don’t worry, Strangler, I’ve got my CycloGun on stun, just incase he makes a move.”

 

It doesn’t work.

 

DING DING DING

 

Like a lighting bolt, X kips up, and observes the stare down going on between his opponent and the guest commentator. He whistles loudly and waves his hand at Erek, mocking the high flier.

 

-X “Over here!”

 

-Comet “Heh heh, X is ready to get this party started right!”

 

Taylor turns, the pissed off look still on his face, and rushes in, meeting X in the center with a lock up.

 

-Riley “There they go!”

 

But X surprises the swift Erek with his own speed as he hip tosses the smaller man to the canvas, then backs away with a cocky swagger. Taylor rises, and X smiles and talks inaudible trash.

 

-Strangler “Don’t get cocky, X!”

 

-Comet “Xstasy had better take E.T. seriously.”

 

-Riley “Yeah. Any man who could whoop the tar out of Strangler without remorse probably shouldn’t be made fun of…”

 

Strangler and Comet share a sideways glance at Bobby, who laughs nervously.

 

-Riley “No offense, bud…”

 

X waves Erek towards him, and they lock up again. The Drug goes for another hip toss, but this time Taylor is prepared, and flips through, sending an elbow back into Xstasy’s stomach. He immediately grabs the left arm for a hammerlock, but X extends his arm and steps away, only to step back in with a FAST side kick which is ducked! Erek then scissors the one standing leg, and knocks Xstasy down, grabbing his other leg, crossing them over, and then pulling up in…

 

-Riley “A Sharpshooter!”

 

Xstasy growls in pain, but before Erek can reach down for his neck, he spins over and breaks the hold, somersaulting forward and bouncing off of the ropes!

 

-Strangler “He was looking for the Execution.”

 

-Comet “Way too early for a big submission there.”

 

The Drug rebounds in to capitalize, but Taylor immediately takes X down with a choke to the throat and punches to the face! Referee Anthony Michael Hall breaks it up, leaving Taylor to stand and pull X up by the hair!

 

-Riley “Just like that, Erek is in complete control with that Flying Morale!”

 

-Comet “Both of these guys have got the speed. Would you say that Erek is quicker, Strangler?”

 

-Strangler “Just that much quicker, but it can make all the difference in there!”

 

Taylor whips X to the ropes, and on the rebound, he charges in and nails a flying forearm to the head! Xstasy nearly flips over before landing, and Erek goes down!

 

“O…N…E…”

 

-Comet “And the shoulder shoots up!”

 

Taylor gets X up again, and facelocks, trying to lift him up, but X wraps a leg around Taylor’s inside calf! Unable to get him up, Taylor tries a quick forearm, but X ducks, his leg still around Erek’s, and pulls the Wonder Kid down in a cradle!

 

“O…N…E…T…W…O…”

 

Erek gets out, escaping pinfall narrowly!

 

-Strangler “Wow, X is good, a move like that is hard against someone as fast as Erek!”

 

As the two competitor’s stand again, X immediately laces a Ridgehand Chop across Taylor’s chest! WHACK!

 

“WHOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

-Riley “OWWWW!”

 

WHACK!

 

“WHOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

-Riley “OWWWWWW!!

 

A third Chop is ducked by Erek!

 

-Riley “OWWWWWWW!!”

 

-Comet “He missed, Bobby.”

 

-Riley “Yeah, but I’ll bet the air he just chopped is in PAIN!”

 

Taylor grabs onto the spinning Drug from behind and then takes him up and over in a hard German! WHAMMMM!!

 

-Comet “Great Suplex there by the other returner! And he’s going for a pinfall!

 

“O…N…E…T…W…O…”

 

-Comet “Man, Erek has been nailing some great moves here!”

 

Taylor raises the Drug up, and immediately takes a punch to the face! Xstasy charges in, spearing Taylor out of his boots, before rolling through!

 

-Strangler “Bridge Pin!”

 

-Comet “Great move, here’s the count…”

 

“O…N…E…T…W…O…”

 

But Erek lifts up with his legs, sending the bridge into the air and grabbing X around with a facelock, he spins over, and plants X down onto the mat with a DDT!

 

The Wonder Kid now rises, holding onto his stomach, before climbing the near turnbuckle! He waits for Xstasy to rise and face him, then springs off, high and hard!

 

-Riley “Missile Dropkick!”

 

Like a projectile, Taylor careens towards the Perfect Drug, who backflips away in the nick of time! With no target in range, Erek lands on his back HARD on the canvas!

 

Xstasy immediately runs to the adjacent ropes, springs from the second, and flips backwards!

 

-Comet “Beautiful Moonsault by Xstas…”

 

WHAMMMM!!!

 

-Strangler “He moved!”

 

-Riley “Nobody Home! Taylor rolled out of the way, and now X hits the mat!”

 

Erek rises again now, kicking X out of the ring and to the outside. Taylor then climbs out after him, grabbing his arm and whipping him into the ringside steel steps with a CLANNNGGGG!!! The boos are mounting now, and so is the pressure as Referee Hall rolls out of the ring and tells Erek to take it back inside!

 

-Comet “That was a big mistake for Xstasy, and it looks like the Wonder kid is capitalizing.”

 

-Strangler “Erek can definitely wear him down out here, especially with the momentum on his side!”

 

Taylor moves to the announce table now, looking at Strangler before RAMMING X’s head into the table in front of Riley!

 

-Riley “Heh heh, FRONT ROW SEATS!”

 

Erek repeats, then whips X into the apron of the ring HARD! TBS stands now as The Wonder Kid pulls the protective cover and the monitors off of the announce table, and looks at Strangler!

 

-Erek “What are you gonna do about it?”

 

-Comet “Oh no, not another table!”

 

-Riley “We go through several per show anyway, it’s a quota!”

 

The two announcers stand and move away as Strangler shakes his head at the approaching Taylor. Erek gives Strangler a light shove, and the big man stands there, confused. The “KICK HIS ASS!” chant that the crowd has started up isn’t helping exactly, but it does give him an idea of what they’d like to see.

 

-Comet “Hey, the fight is over here, Erek!”

 

-Riley “Oh shut up! This is what everybody wants anyways! David vs. Goliath! I wonder how many rocks he has in that sling!”

 

-Comet “I’m not touching that analogy with a ten foot pole!”

 

Erek shoves Strangler again while Referee Hall tries to get him to concentrate on the match at hand! Again, TBS does not retaliate, but merely shakes his head. Erek nods, conceding, and then rears his hand back for a slap aimed right at Strangler’s face!

 

-Riley “HIT HIM!”

 

But the slap doesn’t get there, as Taylor feels his hand being grabbed from behind. He turns, only to be met with a hard palm to the chin! WHAP!!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOH!!!”

 

-Comet “Ha ha ha! Erek Taylor just got Pimp Slapped! Xstasy snuck up on him!”

 

-Riley “No fair, wait, is that blood?”

 

Indeed, a slight red spot develops on Erek’s lip! X grins at Taylor, who holds his lip, then pulls his hand away and sees a tiny dot of blood! But that just sends the Wonder Kid into a frenzy, and he immediately tackles X to the ground!

 

-Riley “And now they brawl!”

 

-Comet “They should get back into the ring!”

 

-Riley “Well, at least we didn’t lose the table.”

 

-Comet “True enough…”

 

Strangler looks on as the two wrestlers roll over again and again, with the Ref trying to break them up. Finally, X hits a hard punch to Erek on the ground, and backs off. The two of them stand up as the referee motions towards the ring!

 

-Comet “Finally, they’re gonna get back into the spirit of a sanctioned event.”

 

-Riley “Are you kidding, I’ve seen more violence in the SWF day care center!”

 

-Comet “We have a day care center?”

 

-Riley “Turnbuckle Tots, early development wrestling camp! I was sure you’d heard of it!”

 

-Comet “Not that I know of… wait… there’s XSTASY!”

 

With no warning, the Drug tries to rush Taylor into the side of the apron, but Erek ducks down and lifts X by the legs, dropping him back and SLAMMING him chin first onto the edge of the ring!

 

-Riley “Oh man, a great recovery there by Erek!”

 

-Comet “X looks hurt there!”

 

A now woozy Xstasy falls, and Taylor begins kicking away! Those close by and watching the screen can see that X’s chin is now busted open, worse for wear than Erek’s lip. A quick stand-up, and a whip! BAM! X hits the side of the announce table hard on his shoulder!

 

-Riley “Theyrrrrr’e baaaaaaaack…”

 

-Comet “Folks, this brawl is NOT over!”

 

Erek lifts the slumped over X and rolls him onto the table back first. He nods, and then goes to the ring, climbing onto the apron and taking the top rope.

 

-Comet “What is he going for here?”

 

-Riley “Man, that chin first hit must have really put a hurting on Xstasy, he’s not moving…”

 

-Comet “Ummm… Riley…”

 

-Riley “What…”

 

-Comet “You’re gonna be hurt, if you’re not moving!”

 

-Riley “Huh?”

 

The referee once more encourages the Wonder Kid to follow the rules, but Erek pays him no attention. In fact, he only seems to be paying any attention at all to The Boston Strangler standing up near the announce table. Erek shoots a glare and a quick smile over his shoulder at TBS before leaping off of the buckle…

 

-Comet “Riley…”

 

-Riley “What is it… OH MY GOD!!”

 

… flipping his body in a screw…

 

-Comet “MOVE NOW!”

 

-Riley “FAME AND FURY X!!”

 

… and nailing the hard roll…

 

-Riley “Right on TOP of XSTASY!!!!!”

 

-Comet “I don’t know what to say, look at this… Carnage!”

 

The two announcers, who barely dodged the mayhem, survey the scene as the Ref Hall asks if they’re okay! The Wonder Kid and the Perfect Drug both lay haphazardly on the ground, surrounded by plastic, wood, cardboard, metal, and cables. The Boston Strangler only grimaces from his vantage to the side.

 

-Riley “Half of this crowd is booing, the other half is chanting ‘Holy Sh*t,’ while the other half is simply… silent!”

 

-Comet “How can there be three halves of a crowd?”

 

-Riley “That’s not the point! The point is that this match is over! Show that awesome replay!!”

 

The recap shows up in a little corner screen box while the ref tries to revive the two superstars, both down amidst the broken splinters of the announce table. Xstasy does not move, but Erek struggles to a knee, then to his feet, and then over to the ring.

 

-Riley “You know, now that I think about it, I was kindof attached to that table.”

 

Cyclone Comet ignores him, and continues calling the match.

 

-Comet “And look at Taylor. He’s grinning like an evil little Leprechaun!”

 

-Riley “Even after all of that, he’s still taunting ya, Strangler. How would you like to be where X is right now?”

 

TBS doesn’t answer, but only stares at the sadistic Wonder Kid now rolling in the ring. The referee follows him, and begins his mandatory counting out of the dead Xstasy.

 

“ONE!”

 

-Riley “That’s game, ring the bell…”

 

“TWO!”

 

-Comet “It’s never over until the fat lady sings… like the woman a few rows behind us who is eating that disgusting hot dog.”

 

-Riley “Mmm… hot dogs…”

 

-Comet “… no… too easy…”

 

“THREE!”

 

Taylor turns to the ref, and claps his hands, in an attempt to speed up the count. The ref brushes him off, and returns to the count.

 

“FOUR!”

 

-Riley “I don’t think Erek is happy about the count.”

 

-Comet “It’s a basic ten count out, what’s not to be happy about?”

 

-Riley “Too slow! This ref’s on X’s payroll!”

 

-Comet “No way…”

 

“FIVE!”

 

-Riley “I’d be pissed too.”

 

-Comet “Erek needs to just chill out and let this match end. And as much as I hate to say it, this one looks over. Xstasy just took way too much.”

 

-Riley “Yes he did! In fact, lets look at that replay again!”

 

Comet protests in silence and Riley giggles like a schoolboy as another angle of the HUGE spot shows on screen. But inside the ring, the impatient Erek Taylor soon gets into the referee’s face, demanding a swifter count! The ref tells him quietly to back off and pulls on his shirt, which only pisses of Erek and causes him to push Mr. Hall against the ropes, not helping his cause at all! Anthony Michael shoves Taylor back, pulling on his shirt again, and yelling at him to back off! Erek continues to argue, nearly pushing the the ref again, but the striper pulls his shirt once more in warning, and explains to Erek just how basic his count is.

 

-Comet “Citizen Hall stands up for JUSTICE! You tell him, Ref!”

 

-Riley “The count… the count… this is taking way too long!”

 

-Comet “If he would stop interfering with the count… it could very well have been over by now.”

 

As near to a disqualification as he cares to be, Taylor shouts again to Referee Hall before backing off. The ref makes sure his point has hit home, and then returns to his count.

 

“SIX!”

 

At which point…

 

-Comet “XSTASY is getting UP!”

 

The crowd is coming rapidly alive for the young Drug, who is mustering every ounce of strength he can to crawl from the wreckage. On his hands and knees now, he slowly inches his way towards the ring.

 

“SEVEN!”

 

Taylor, his back turned on the south side of the ring, looks over the ramp, fuming at the ref for not counting faster. The crowd continues to pop, many of them near the entry ramp trying to keep Erek’s attention away from the rallying Xstasy!

 

“EIGHT!”

 

So close, X grabs ahold of the apron and lifts up to one foot and one knee!

 

“NINE!”

 

Hearing the cheers escalate once more, Taylor turns around just in time to see the Drug surge up, and under the ropes back into the ring! As an X-hausted X lays in the ring, the crowd roars with relief, but…

 

-Riley “Oh, Erek Taylor is FURIOUS!”

 

Xstasy slides over to the southwest ring post and sits up against it, while Erek shouts “TOO SLOW!” at referee Hall. The zebra merely holds up nine fingers, and claps his hands to signal that the match should continue! Taylor paces for a few seconds, and then charges the sitting Xstasy! Once near him, Erek launches himself forward, going for a low spear…

 

THUD!

 

… that narrowly misses as X literally FALLS out of the way!

 

-Comet “He just went for a Stomach Tackle, and found the ring post instead as X fell over!”

 

-Riley “How… how did he do it?”

 

Taylor holds his shoulder and backs out of the corner, pain on his face. A grimace that turns into complete hatred when he sees X grab the middle ropes and use them to pull himself up to his feet! Erek immediately charges again, only to get met halfway by Xstasy, who FLIES in with a cross body and takes Taylor down!

 

-Riley “Was he playing possum?”

 

-Comet “I think he’s just running on instinct now, Bobby. Wait, X is holding on for the cover!”

 

O…N…E…

 

-Riley “And the kickout by Taylor!”

 

-Comet “Great presence of mind by Xstasy! That adrenaline MUST be kicking in!”

 

Completely enraged now, Taylor pushes Xstasy off of him, and tries to stomp the kneeling Drug, but X catches his leg and whips it, taking Erek back down to the mat! The frenzied coliseum applauds, and Xstasy stands, meeting Taylor in the center of the ring and backing him up with fist after fist in short, quick jabs!

 

-Comet “There’s the Joy of X this crowd knows and loves! Taylor is going to have a hard time with the fans backing up the Perfect Drug!”

 

Stunned by the punches, Erek stands near the north ropes as the Drug runs to the opposite side and bounces off, rushing towards Erek! But the Wonder Kid’s instincts kick in, and he gets down and launches Xstasy over the top rope, then moves forward, pointing at Strangler and mouthing something!

 

-Comet “He shouldn’t use words like that on a family show!”

 

-Riley “What are you gonna do, arrest him?”

 

-Comet “As an official member of the Super Vigilante Club, I have the authority to do just that!”

 

-Riley “So why don’t you?”

 

-Comet “Well, it only works if he’s in a costume too. He’s just wearing pants and a jersey. Not exactly Super Villainous…”

 

Erek takes a deep breath, not heeding the cheers of the crowd…

 

-Comet “Besides, he doesn’t even have the Super Villainous sense to know that Xstasy landed on the apron when he pushed him over.”

 

-Riley “WHAT?!”

 

Indeed, X landed on his cat like feet right on the edge of the apron, and is now back in the ring as Erek backs up towards him. The Drug unzips his wetsuit and pulls it down to his waist while the ladies squeal with delight! Erek turns, and meets a QUICK knee to the stomach!

 

-Comet “HERE IT COMES!”

 

Xstasy locks onto Erek, and spins around, only to complete a full circle and come back to the starting position, facing Erek! Taylor, without missing a beat, launches a SWIFT foot to X’s gut!

 

-Riley “No… HERE it comes!”

 

Taylor now facelocks, and spins his opponent around, ending in ANOTHER complete circle, and both men unlocked and standing face to face! The crowd goes nuts as Erek charges in and grabs X around the waist, lifting him up and pushing him down…

 

-Comet “NO WAY!”

 

Only to have Xstasy grab him around the back of the head and PULL… driving Erek’s face into his knee on his way to falling! X springs on his feet as Taylor lays on the mat and immediately runs to the nigh turnbuckle!

 

-Riley “How did he DO THAT?!”

 

-Comet “Incredible exchange! There finishers are so similar that one was nearly chained into the other! Erek came out on top, but X hits the Facebuster Knee, what a show of speed from these two!”

 

But as Xstasy climbs the ring post, unties his hair and throws the elastic band to the crowd, the entire audience goes ballistic!

 

-Riley “Oh NO!”

 

-Comet “Oh YES! We could see it! It just might happen… on his first match back!”

 

Riley covers his eyes as the Coliseum thunders, deafening the ears of the workers. The ref counts, as Erek Taylor begins to stand.

 

-Riley “Do NOT stand up!”

 

But it is too late. The Wonder kid is on his feet. And the Perfect Drug is already up and sailing through the air, falling down perfectly next to Taylor, catching him around the neck and under the leg as he lands and then lifting him up off of the mat and into the air! The first wrench elicits a SCREAM of pain from Erek, and a ROAR of pop from the crowd!

 

-Comet “The SOARGASM!!!”

 

X falls to the mat, still holding onto Erek in the center of the ring and cranking away! The free arm and leg of the Wonder Kid flail hopelessly for a rope, a post, a weapon, anything to get away from the submission finisher, but in the end, nothing can be found. There is only the excruciating pain, the ecstatic crowd noise, and the awareness of the ref somewhere near him, urging him to give in.

 

-Comet “What a move! It’s over, all over! Xstasy comes back after that brutal spot outside, and locks it in!”

 

-Riley “If only he had listened to me!”

 

-Comet “He can’t hear you, Riley! Matter of fact, the only thing he can probably hear right now are his tendons snapping off!”

 

And after what feels like an eternity, Taylor finally slaps limply on his opponent’s back! The hold is dropped, the bell is rung, and both competitors break away, catching their breath on the canvas!

 

DING DING DING

 

-Funyon “Here is your winner… EXXXXXXXXX-STASEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

 

The crowd, appropriately, EX-PLODES!

 

-Comet “He did it! In his first match back, Xstasy wins, and with the infamous but rarely seen Soargasm, none the less!”

 

-Riley “You and I both know that a faster count from the ref would have meant the outcome of this match! Erek had him! He had him!”

 

-Comet “I didn’t notice any slow down! And I have super powers of perception!”

 

-Riley “Oh come off it!”

 

-Comet “An incredible match, nonetheless, both of these men are top-notch competitors. But in the end, there can be only one…”

 

-Riley “Alright there, Duncan McCloud.”

 

Xstasy slowly gets to his feet, using the ropes for leverage as The Boston Strangler makes his way around the ring and back to the rampside. He stares once more at Erek Taylor, who is also rising, and fuming right back at Strangler, before shaking his head and leaving.

 

-Comet “I wonder what will come of those two, Taylor was paying more attention to Strangler than to Xstasy.”

 

-Riley “And if you ask me, that’s what cost him the match! His understandable dislike for TBS!”

 

Xstasy crosses his arms over his head to the delight of the crowd, prepares to taunt Erek Taylor, then thinks better of it and heads for the ramp. The last shot of the event is Erek’s bloody lipped, reddened, and angry face staring down the ramp after Strangler, waiting for his revenge.

 

And… FADE OUT!

[Kaertos 0]

Comet: Well it’s been one of those shows so far, and it’s only going to get better.

 

Riley: It’s been “one of those shows”?

 

Comet: You know, memorable. Filled with excitement. Drama. Tension. The triumph of the human spirit over adversity. Donuts.

 

Riley: Well it’s about to take a turn for the far, FAR worse as we go to Ben Hardy who’s waiting backstage with the Maori.

 

Cut to backstage where Va’aiga, hood down of his training top, jukeing and jiving, trying to keep warm and do a final stretch or two before his upcoming match.

 

Hardy: So Va’aiga. Tonight at the personal request of Grand Slam Mark Stevens, you’re taking on the monstrous Bastion in a No Disqualification match. Any thoughts on the match.

 

Va’aiga takes the mic from Hardy and draws breath before addressing the packed crowd…

 

Va’aiga: See Ben Hardy it’s like this. Tonight. Hampton Coliseum. Bastion vs Va’aiga. The Maori here is STOKED for this. It ain’t often that the Maori Badass gets a chance to BUTT heads with someone who can match him for power, match him for intensity. See Bastion, he scares people. He’s big, he’s bad, he’s unhinged, but he’s got one big problem tonight. SO AM I!

 

The crowd gives a big roar for Va’aiga’s show of defiance.

 

Va’aiga: And tonight, I’m doing if fo’ tha Thugg! It’s all about Turning Up, K… Oh you want some do you?

 

Comet: Va’aiga reprezentin’ for the HVile Thugg here tonight.

 

Riley: You’re down with the Urban Youth aren’t you Comet?

 

Comet: Fo Shizzle, Rizzle.

 

Va’aiga turns from Ben Hardy and throws his microphone down as the imposing form of Bastion walks purposefully into the corridor the interview is being conducted in.

 

Va’aiga: COME ON! I ain’t scared of you! We can do this NOW, motherfucker! Come get some, bitch! Come get some…

 

And Bastion CHARGES at Va’aiga sending the Maori into the wall with a forceful running shoulder block. Bastion hammers away at Va’aiga with a rapid series of piston like punches and takes the Maori down with an ugly tackle. Bastion fires a few elbows down from the top of the mount, but Va’aiga wraps his legs round into a guard, then rolls Bastion over and fires a few punches of his OWN in from his OWN mount top.

 

Comet: These two monsters are tussling like schoolboys in the backstage area! Two very big, VERY scary schoolboys.

 

Riley: Has the match started?

 

Comet: Do YOU want to try to tear them apart now?

 

Riley: Someone get a ref somewhere near them.

 

Bastion throws off Va’aiga (with Authority!) and hauls himself back up to his full 7’0 height, reaching down and locking his arm solidly round Va’aiga’s neck as the Maori stands, working in the side headlock tight before charging and smashing Va’aiga’s forehead into the corridor wall! Bastion turns and lines Va’aiga up with a pile of electrical equipment boxes, but Va’aiga shoots Bastion off and the Thugg’s brother bundles into the boxes instead, spilling over the top of the pile and sending cabling everywhere!

 

Riley: This isn’t a wrestling match. This is a FIGHT. A barroom brawl. An old fashioned…

 

Comet: If you say ANYTHING relating to removing saliva from a person’s mouth through the impact of a blow, I will be forced to kill you Robert.

 

Va’aiga storms over to where Bastion is laying amongst the backstage detritus and throws a pair of rapid right jabs down onto Bastion’s exposed noggin, before grabbing for a piece of cable and wrapping it round Bastion’s throat. Va’aiga holds the choke for a couple of seconds, before lifting Bastion up and grabbing for an arm, whipping the psychotic giant forcefully into the rear side of the entrance gate!

 

Riley: Heads up Comet, they’re coming this way.

 

Va’aiga grabs Bastion by the back of the head and smashes his face into the steel frame that marks the entranceway between the backstage and stadium areas before whipping his gigantic opponent through the gateway and sending him hurtling down the entrance ramp. The crowd isn’t quite sure whether to cheer or boo the massive form of Bastion, but there’s a MASSIVE cheer as Va’aiga comes screaming out of the gateway and catches up with Bastion, sending him down to the ramp with an Enzuilariato!

 

Comet: Va’aiga fires off a nasty clothesline to the back of Bastion’s head!

 

Riley: It’s scary how fast Va’aiga can move when he’s got a long straight distance to run. You know if we had a 2 foot by 40 foot win he could be world champion by now.

 

Following the onrushing masses of muscle down the entrance ramp and looking HIGHLY flustered comes a jogging Anthony Michael Hall and he signals over to the timekeeper to ring the bell.

 

Riley: And the match is underway!

 

Comet: Not really like the match hasn’t already been going on, Robert.

 

Riley: I like to keep things official and by the rules.

 

Comet: SINCE WHEN?

 

Va’aiga whips off his hooded top and slings it out into the crowd, before picking up Bastion and leading him down to the ring area with a solidly applied side headlock. Va’aiga transitions to a top wristlock, then a hammerlock, then unwinds the Hville native and slings him into the ring steps with a resounding crash.

 

Comet: You could hear the crash of Bastion on ring steps in the next state there!

 

Riley: You can hear Va’aiga shouting Boo-yah in the next state too. And I’m sure we will.

 

Va’aiga lines up with the grounded Bastion and charges, taking a spring off a separated piece of ring step and launching himself into a knee drop on the seven foot psycho. Va’aiga moves over to the timekeepers area and steals some steel in the form of a chair, but by the time the Maori has got back, Bastion has stood up again, clearing his head with a quick shake and standing ready for more violence.

 

Comet: Bastion is one tough individual.

 

Riley: What did you think he was? Two small tough individuals Scotch taped together?

 

Va’aiga swings the chair for Bastion, but the giant swats the chair away, blocking the blow with his forearm and de-chairing Va’aiga with the force of the block! Bastion drops the subtle stuff and fires off some furious body shots, both lefts and rights before grabbing Va’aiga and throwing the Maori under the bottom rope into the ring. Bastion grabs for the loose chair and strides over the top rope into the ring himself.

 

Riley: Bastion - armed and dangerous. Not that he’s not dangerous unarmed. Just more dangerous. Of course he’s still QUITE dangerous without. Very dangerous in fact…

 

Comet: Robert, you’re blathering.

 

Bastion rears the chair back waiting for Va’aiga to get up to his knees before PASTING the Maori with a shot across his shoulder blades. Va’aiga shuffles forward on his knees a few steps, but doesn’t go down, so Bastion does what comes naturally and DOES IT AGAIN! Va’aiga crashes to the mat and Bastion drops to cover. Referee Hall lays on the count…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

..and Va’aiga kicks out on a SHORT two count. Bastion stares down at the Maori and stands slowly, not that Bastion does ANYTHING much quickly. Bastion stomps down at Va’aiga to get the Maori to roll over, before dropping a massive knee into Va’aiga’s back. Bastion picks up the Maori Badass with shocking ease and snaps off a quick backbreaker, taking Va’aiga back down to canvas level. Bastion strides over to the edge of the ring and steps out over the ropes as Va’aiga slowly regains his footing, and drops down to ringside, throwing a piece of ring steps carelessly into the ring.

 

Riley: I think Bastion has something planned here.

 

Comet: And what would that be.

 

Riley: Pain for the Maori!

 

As Va’aiga stands Bastion staggers him with a stiff boot to the stomach, before lifting the big Maori up and dropping him, sidewalk slam style across the ring steps piece! Va’aiga rolls off the steps and falls face first onto the canvas and Bastion stomps away on the small of Va’aiga’s back. Bastion drops and flips Va’aiga over, hooking a leg…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH… and Va’aiga kicks out.

 

Comet: It looks like Bastion is working on the back of Va’aiga.

 

Riley: I’m sure that any strategy on the part of Bastion is entirely accidental.

 

Bastion stands and picks up Va’aiga as he stands, wrapping a massive paw around the top of the Maori Badass’ head! Bastion lines up Va’aiga and fires a headbutt into the head of Va’aiga… and Va’aiga SMILES! Bastion tries a second headbutt and Va’aiga smiles again! Bastion looks for a third but Va’aiga draws back, cooling his neck up and unwinding it with a PROPER headbutt of his own… and Bastion goes down! Bastion stands again, a little dazed and Va’aiga uses the opportunity to scream out…

 

Va’aiga: COME ON!

 

Va’aiga plants a boot into Bastion’s stomach and locks in side headlock, turning Bastion round before suplexing the 7 footer over… back first onto the chair! Va’aiga floats over and hooks a leg…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH.. and Va’aiga curses himself as Anthony Michael Hall signals two.

 

Riley: It’s going to take a lot more than that to slow down Bastion, never mind stop him.

 

Comet: I have to admit that Bastion is an incredibly impressive physical specimen. Anyone who outmatches Va’aiga for size would have to be. Not even the Boston Strangler is bigger than the new, meaner Maori.

 

Va’aiga lifts Bastion up and fires off a quick series of blows to the big guy’s chest and ribs to keep the 7 footer off balance. Va’aiga grabs for an arm, sliding round and behind Bastion and grabbing a back waistlock…

 

Comet: He’s not going to is he?

 

Riley: It can’t be done, surely…

 

…and Va’aiga takes a deep breath in as Bastion struggles against the hold, then HITS BASTION WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!! The crowd starts up a “HOLY SHIT!” chant as Va’aiga plants his feet, holding the back waistlock and stands, hoisting up Bastion. Va’aiga looks left and right…

 

Comet: No way...

 

Riley: No way…

 

…and GERMAN SUPLEXES BASTION OVER AGAIN! Va’aiga again holds the back waistlock and lifts Bastion off the canvas. The arena goes quiet anticipating the next move and Va’aiga thinks about a third German, but then changes his mind and moves his arms up into a Full Nelson. The excitement and anticipation builds as Va’aiga strains and…

 

Comet: NO WAY…

 

Riley: NO WAY!

 

VA’AIGA RE-FUCKING-LEASE DRAGON FUCKING SUPLEXES THE 375 POUND SEVEN FOOT BASTION OVER!!! THE CROWD GOES MENTAL! “HOLY SHIT!” Chants ring out across the arena as Va’aiga stands up and flexes his arms!

 

Comet: Oh my God!

 

Riley: Holy Christ!

 

Comet: Va’aiga just Dragon Suplexed Bastion.

 

Riley: I saw it. I swear I saw it. I’m still not sure I believe it.

 

Va’aiga looks down at Bastion and thinks about a pin, but decides against pinning the big man, choosing instead to roll out of the ring and go foraging under the ring for fun toys to play with. Va’aiga hoists out a trash can and slings it over the ropes. Va’aiga rummages around under the apron again and finds something far more to his liking…

 

Riley: Oh my God! That’s Janus’ Barbed Wire Wrapped Cricket Bat!

 

Comet: I didn’t know the federation still had those….

 

Riley: Would you rather Janus had them in the loony bin?

 

Va’aiga raises the bat up high and the crowd cheers! Stepping through the ropes back into the ring, Va’aiga lines up with Bastion and mockingly flattens a bump in the ring canvas, and as Bastion draws up to his knees before FIRING OFF AN OFF DRIVE WITH THE BAT, RIGHT INTO BASTION’S LOWER BACK!

 

Riley: Well that’s… umm.. unique.

 

Comet: Are you keeping score here Robert?

 

Va’aiga smashes the bat across Bastion’s back again as Bastion slowly stands, blood dripping slowly from his body onto the canvas below. Bastion gets to his feet, wincing and staggering forwards as Va’aiga smashes him across the back AGAIN with the bat! Va’aiga rushes the ring ropes and bounces off, clipping Bastion’s knee to take him back down again.

 

Riley: It doesn’t matter WHAT Va’aiga does… Bastion isn’t staying down. I swear that man is indestructible.

 

Comet: You shouldn’t swear Robert. It’s rude.

 

Va’aiga, having discarded the bat to throw the chop block, reaches across for the trash can and sets it up on it’s side in the centre of the ring. Va’aiga lifts Bastion up again and grabs a solid waistlock, taking the big guy down with a quick Belly to Belly Suplex, crashing Bastion into the can! Va’aiga grabs for the ring steps and looks down at Bastion, smiling with not a small hint of malice. Va’aiga hoists the steps across his chest and MAORI DROPS THE RING STEPS ONTO BASTION!!!! Va’aiga rolls Bastion off the can and hooks a leg revealing the blood stained and crushed can below! Anthony Michael Hall drops to count…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TW.. AND BASTION KICKS OUT AT ONE AND A HALF!

 

Comet: Bastion kicked out and kicked out VERY quickly.

 

Riley: He’s been lashed with Barbed Wire, Crushed with cold hard steel and the guy kicks out at ONE?

 

Comet: Bastion is a scary human being, Robert. I think the more he gets hurt the BETTER he gets.

 

Va’aiga stands and grimaces down at Bastion, picking up the Thugg’s brother and whipping him into the ropes and Bastion rebounds straight into a Va’aiga shoulder block, which DOESN’T MOVE the big guy! Va’aiga throws a left cross at Bastion, and the 7 footer absorbs the blow and fires one back of his own! Va’aiga doesn’t budge either! Va’aiga throws a right jab. Bastion throws a left hook. Va’aiga throws a left jab. Bastion throws a body shot. The pair lock up for a test of strength and neither man can overpower the other! The pair break the knuckle locks and barge into each other, chest to chest, staring each other down.

 

Comet: These two men seem just the match for each other. It’s a total stalemate.

 

Riley: If I was the Maori Badass I’d be worried that it’s a total stalemate AFTER Va’aiga has been smashing Bastion around with everything but the kitchen sink!

 

The pair face off, chest to chest and slowly circle, neither wanting to be the man to make a mistake first. Va’aiga grits his teeth and Bastion’s face remains as impassive as ever. Va’aiga cranks his neck back again, looking for another headbutt but Bastion goes low with a knee straight into Va’aiga’s crotch! Va’aiga drops to the canvas and Bastion adds a big knee to the face!

 

Comet: Now there was NO need for Bastion to go low there! That’s just playing dirty for the sake of it.

 

Riley: It’s a hardcore match! You have to live a little, Comet. It’s not cheating if it’s not ILLEGAL, ref seeing it or not.

 

Bastion backs off and kicks the bloody trash can away, giving himself space to run into the ropes and bounce off, firing a running Big Boot to the face of the kneeling Maori. Va’aiga falls backwards to the mat and Bastion just grabs him straight back up again, just to plant the Maori down with an exclamation point DDT. Bastion tries for a cover and referee Hall counts again…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

TH.. and Va’aiga kicks out. Bastion grabs for Va’aiga and flings him into the corner with a HARD Irish whip, and the Maori reels in pain a little. Bastion wipes his hand across his back, clearing a few flakes of blood away before charging in with a MASSIVE running shoulderblock, spearing Va’aiga against the post! Bastion takes a half step back and LAUNCHES into the Maori Badass firing lefts and rights to the head, and the body, at least 8 or 9 punches before backing off. Va’aiga staggers a half step out of the corner and Bastion grabs for him, wheeling Va’aiga over with a DEVASTATING power slam! Bastion keeps leaning on the Maori Badass for a cover…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE… NO! Va’aiga JUUUUUUUUUST kicks out.

 

Comet: Bastion hasn’t got a lot of offence in in this match, but then again he doesn’t NEED a lot of offence. He’s just scary powerful and that’s always gonna be in his favour.

 

Riley: I’m not sure the Maori Badass knows WHAT to do. Bastion is at times treating Va’aiga like Va’aiga has done in the past to guys like Crow and Ejiro!

 

Comet: And wasn’t the Genesis match between Ejiro and Va’aiga a classic encounter. And Genesis 4 will be available on DVD soon! Keep ‘em peeled – it’ll be available in all good stores folks.

 

Bastion lifts Va’aiga up by the arm and looks for an Irish whip, but the big guy switches the weight distribution and drags Va’aiga back in into a vicious looking short arm clothesline! Bastion holds Va’aiga’s arm and prevents the Maori from falling to the mat, then lifts Va’aiga up with his other arm and drops him across his knee with a one armed Backbreaker! Bastion adds a little insult to the injury by just STANDING on the Maori and grinding his foot into the Maori Badass’ ribcage.

 

Riley: Bastion is such a powerful guy. Even Va’aiga is finding problems answering this psychopath!

 

Comet: Well good will always triumph over evil in the end Riley.

 

Riley: Even a good psychopath over an evil psychopath?

 

Comet: Well ummm.. a lot of superheroes have a dark side.

 

Bastion grabs Va’aiga up off the mat and grabs for an arm, whipping the Maori into the ropes. Bastion sets for a high shoulder block, but Va’aiga dives and hits a lower rugby tackle, taking Bastion off his feet! Va’aiga goes for a mount position and wails away with some semi desperate looking strikes! Va’aiga stands and stomps away at Bastion, keeping the big guy down briefly before picking him off the mat again. Va’aiga fires a knee into the stomach of Bastion and quickly fires off a vertical suplex, floating over to cover…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH… and Bastion kicks out. Va’aiga rolls out of the ring to look for more foreign objects as Bastion again regains his feet with a stunning lack of emotion.

 

Comet: Do you think Bastion ever gets tired?

 

Riley: Do you think Bastion ever SLEEPS?

 

Va’aiga looks under the ring as Bastion slowly follows Va’aiga out of the ring. Va’aiga hunts under the ring for something more to use on Bastion, and as Bastion sneaks up behind the Maori, Va’aiga senses his presence and SMASHES Bastion across the face with a big, hefty looking piece of steel piping! Bastion staggers back a half step and Va’aiga pastes him with the pipe again! Bastion is left stumbling and fumbling, and Va’aiga clouts him for a third time with the pipe! Va’aiga slides into the ring and backs off a few steps, then charges and launches off the ropes with the BIG UGLY MAORI PLANCHA! And Bastion… CATCHES VA’AIGA IN FLIGHT! Bastion holds the big Maori across his chest and then jumps, falling forward and dropping Va’aiga on the floor and his whole body weight on the Maori!

 

Riley: MAORI DROP! MAORI DROP! MAORI DROP ON THE MAORI BADASS!

 

Comet: Va’aiga gets spiked, and spiked HARD with his own move.

 

Bastion stomps over to the front row of the audience and grabs for a chair. Bastion walks slowly and deliberately back over to where Va’aiga is laid out and drops to his knees, bringing the chair down with a crash across Va’aiga’s ribs and side. Bastion grabs for Va’aiga and slings the Maori into the ring again under the bottom rope. Bastion strides into the ring with his chair held aloft.

 

Riley: Bastion has a chair and EVIL intent.

 

Comet: There’s half the ring steps, a trashcan stuck in the ropes and ANOTHER chair, albeit a bit dented in there, why on earth did Bastion want a new chair?

 

Riley: For style. Or because he’s not the sharpest knife in the draw. But would you pay for a match like this between two INTELLECTUAL heavyweights….

 

Bastion smashes Va’aiga with the chair, and the Maori is sent reeling…

 

Riley: Thought seeing Bill Gates getting smashed with a chair like that

 

Bastion smashes Va’aiga, now kneeling with the chair…

 

Riley: Maybe Gore Vidal

 

Bastion sends Va’aiga down to the mat face down with a third strike of the chair…

 

Riley: I should sell this to Fox. It’ll blow away Celebrity Boxing.

 

Bastion drops to cover the fallen Maori and referee Hall drops to count…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THR… and Va’aiga kicks out.

 

Riley: I could be a millionaire with genius like this.

 

Comet: There IS a wrestling match going on here.

 

Bastion lifts Va’aiga up off the canvas and dispassionately stares at him, wondering what to do next. Bastion fires a couple of body shots to keep the Maori from striking back, and then slips behind the 6’7 frame of Va’aiga, ducks under and lifts the Maori Badass into a TORTURE RACK! Bastion works the rack and Va’aiga grimaces again, his body wracked with pain… from the rack!

 

Comet: This has to be it for Va’aiga.

 

Riley: I think the Mori Badass has just come across the only guy in the fed bigger and badder than he is, and it’s showing.

 

Bastion works the rack, moving his body up and down, trying to push as much pain as possible through the spinal column of Va’aiga. Va’aiga tries to rock himself free of the hold and manages to make Bastion stagger a half step through shifting his body mass, but Bastion keeps the hold locked in tight.

 

Comet: Many lesser men would have already tapped out by this point. Va’aiga is showing tremendous tenacity to stay in this contest.

 

Riley: You have to give Va’aiga credit. No wait. You don’t. MAKE HIM TAP BASTION!

 

Bastion keeps the pressure up on Va’aiga but then turning slightly to counter another weight shift by the Maori, Bastion spots the barbed wire wrapped cricket bat just laying there against a ringpost, not quite kicked out of the ring, and he unceremoniously dumps Va’aiga down and fetches the deadly piece of sporting equipment.

 

Riley: It’s EQUALIZER TIME!

 

Comet: Though with the recent domination of Bastion, I’m not sure if this is going to Equalize as much as make the final difference.

 

Riley: Note that the bat is balanced for a seven footer to use. That’s one almighty hefty weapon.

 

Bastion approaches the grounded Va’aiga and draws the cricket bat over his head for one vital strike. Va’aiga is lying there on the mat, face down, breathing heavily, his back, already injured fully exposed to a Bastion strike. Bastion prepares himself and swings.. and Va’aiga rolls over and BLOCKS THE STIRKE WITH A CHAIR HE WAS CONCELAING BENEATH HIM! While Bastion was retrieving the cricket bat, Va’aiga just had time to reach for one of the used chairs in the ring and slide it under his body! Bastion reels back, dropping the bat and clutching his wrist, hurting from the shockwaves of hitting the steel with a force he expected to use on flesh!

 

Comet: Va’aiga counters with the chair! Va’aiga counters with the chair!

 

Riley: Va’aiga is my new second favourite wrestler!

 

Comet: That’s a stunning change of heart.

 

Riley: Everyone else is first equal.

 

Va’aiga stands with the chair and BLASTS Bastion with an UNPROTECTED CHAIR SHOT TO THE SKULL! Bastion staggers back a half pace but doesn’t go down so Va’aiga hits him again! The crowd begins to come to life again! Bastion is staggering and stumbling and Va’aiga hit’s him again. Va’aiga lofts the chair up above his head to show the crowd the massive Bastion shaped dent in the seat. Bastion still doesn’t go down, and Va’aiga discards the chair and winds up, steps back then charges and fires off the EVIL, PSYCHOTIC, NASTY, BIG, NASTY, MAORI, WHO NEEDS BARBED WIRE – THIS IS HARDCORE MOTHERFUCKER LAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIAAAAAATOOOOOOOOO! Bastion goes FLYING down to the canvas taken clean off his feet with ease and the crowd pops MASSIVELY!

 

Comet: THE LARIAT! THE LARIAT! The bigger they come, the harder they fall to that big Maori Lariat!

 

The crowd starts a “BOO! YAH! BOO! YAH!” chant and Va’aiga cracks a smile!

 

Comet: It looks like Va’aiga is getting fired up. Could this be the final thing that changes this match?

 

Riley: This crowd are idiots! Va’aiga is an idiot! If the Maori Badass wins I’m going to…

 

Comet: Sulk?

 

Riley: Yeah.. wait. No. Ummm…

 

Va’aiga grabs Bastion up off the canvas and snaps him back down, stepping through with a leg and taking the 7 footer down with an STO. Visibly getting fired up Va’aiga stomps away then grabbing Bastion by the wild flowing ends of his cornrowed hair and hoisting him roughly to his feet. Va’aiga whips the titanic superstar into the ropes and waits on his rebound to stun Bastion with a fiery left cross! The crowd calls “ONE!”

 

Comet: Here we go.. the Boo yes punch combo!

 

Va’aiga fires a second left cross at Bastion and the big man stays staggered, still maybe a little winded from the hard landing off the lariat. The crowd calls “TWO!” Va’aiga fires a third right cross, the crowd calls “THREE!” and starts warming up the oooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH as Va’aiga winds up, kisses his right fist and SMASHES a right hooked uppercut under Bastion’s chin, sending Bastion back to the unfamiliar territory of the canvas.

 

Va’aiga: BOO-YAH!

 

Riley: Get up Bastion! Get up!

 

Va’aiga goes for the badly buckled chair again and sets it up in the middle of the ring, and clutching his back a little but driven by the pure adrenaline flowing his way like the match. The near indestructible Bastion stands again, and Va’aiga turns and PASTES him with a Dace Night-esque Yakuza Kick, while holding the chair! Va’aiga throws the chair down right in the centre of the ring and grabs for an arm of Bastion.

 

Comet: It looks like Va’aiga has something REALLY nasty planned here…

 

Riley: When DOESN’T Va’aiga have something really nasty planned!

 

Va’aiga leads Bastion over to the chair and locks in a die headlock. Va’aiga takes a big breath in and suplexes Bastion up to a vertical postion then sits out in one smooth motion, bringing Bastion down head first RIGHT ONTO THE BUCKLED STEEL! Va’aiga rolls Bastion over to reveal the cut on his head and to hook a leg and Anthony Hall drops to count…

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR… and Bastion kicks out!

 

Riley: Bastion kicked out of a Falcon Arrow on to a steel chair! Is there anything that can stop this man?

 

Va’aiga, fuelled with aggression lifts Bastion up again and knees the Washington DC resident in the sternum to stun the big man. Va’aiga slides one arm between Bastion’s legs and hoists him up across his chest…

 

Comet: Maybe… THE MAORI DROP?

 

…takes a few steps back…

 

Riley: Yeah if he hits this it’s over…

 

…runs forwards, jumps and drops Bastion HARD down to the canvas…

 

Comet: THERE IT IS. THE MAORI DROP!...

 

Anthony Michael Hall drops to count…

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THRE…NO! BASTION KICKS OUT! The crowd chants “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” as Va’aiga stands again and referee Hall flashes the two sign to the crowd. Then to the shock of everyone, like a corpse in a Romero flick Bastion slowly stands, getting first to one knee, then slowly up to a vertical base… only to be met by the hand of Va’aiga wrapped around his throat. Va’aiga clutches on tight and calls out…

 

Va’aiga: FO’ THA THUGG!

 

Comet: What can the Maori fo to beat this monster Bastion?

 

Va’aiga takes a step forward for more leverage and places Bastion’s arm over his shoulder. The Maori Badass lifts up Bastion using the last ounces of strength in his body and turns, spinning Bastion round and then driving him down to the mat, back first onto the steel chair again!

 

Comet: UNTAMED! UNTAMED!

 

Va’aiga hooks a leg…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

Comet: AND VA’AIGA WINS! Va’aiga wins with Bastion’s brother’s move! And wouldn’t Thugg, lying in his hospital bed right now LOVE to be the one doing that to the psychotic Bastion?

 

Va’aiga lays spark out on the canvas, shattered from the effort, clutching his back. Meanwhile BASTION, blood pouring from his back and face slowly stands, STILL not looking like he can be taken down for more than a few precious seconds, and walks over to the fallen Maori Badass.

 

Riley: Va’aiga may have won the battle, but I don’t thing Bastion is done with the Maori Badass…

 

Bastion picks Va’aiga up and the crowd’s wild cheers turns to boos as Bastion lifts Va’aiga up and hoists him up for a MASSIVE powerbomb! Bastion holds on and hoists Va’aiga up again, and AGAIN slams him down with a huge crash on the mat. His face a blank picture lacking any emotion, the sociopathic Bastion hoists Va’aiga up for a third consecutive powerbomb, this time casually dropping the Maori out with a BIG release on the bomb. Bastion steps over the ring ropes and to a massive round of boos strides up the entrance ramp.

 

Riley: THE THIRD OFFENSE! Bastion may have lost to Va’aiga, but he’s STILL made a statement. And that statement is... Don’t mess with Bastion, because you’re gonna get hurt! Folks we’ve got to take a commercial break, and while the EMTs tend to Va’aiga some people will try to sell you stuff.

[Kaertos 0]

Mak v. Sacred has been postponed due to travel difficulties.

[Kaertos 0]

Comet: “Welcome back Hamptonion’s for the last leg of this first great Lockdown, free from the Suicide King’s reign of terror. Now we’ve got a chance to see a fair contender set for the World Title!”

Riley: “How can you say that Comet! You know you miss King damn it. Remember he still has power, so watch your mouth. It’s just a question of finding out who Tom Flesher is going to kill next.”

 

Comet: “Well, Dace Night defeated Craven and Bastion on the Pay Per View to but Mark Steven’s into power, but The King Of Nightmares is one the best run of his life, with Kibagami showed us all that he’s about against Edwin.”

Riley: “It’s all gonna be a matter of whom is hated the least.”

 

Funyon climbs into the ring with his house mike in hand…

 

Funyon: “Ladies and Gentlemen, the following Triple Threat Elimination Match will be for the Number One Contendership to the SWF World Title! However, when a wrestler is eliminated, they may remain in the ring but not win the match!”

 

RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

 

Funyon: “Introducing firstly, from Birmingham England, weighing in at two hundred and fifty two pounds … DACE ‘HORRORCORE’ NIGHT!”

 

YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

 

Smoke billows out into the arena as the first screams of Captor Of Sin burst into life, followed by bursts of white pyro as Dace strides down the ramp, followed by the pyro. Tagging hands with the fans as he passes by, Night shrugs off his t shirt before sliding under the bottom rope into the ring. Flexing the ropes and his body, Horrorcore stares back at the entrance way, awaiting his opponents.

 

Funyon: “His opponent, from Phoenix Arizona, weighing two hundred and sixty eight pounds … SILENT!”

 

BBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

The opening strains of The River Dragon Has Come ripples through the arena, fog covering the lights before they explode into blinding whiteness as the music roars upwards. Briskly striding down the ramp, Silent passes by the crowds and climbs the apron then the turnbuckles, spreading his arms out while glaring down at Dace Night, hate crackling in the air.

 

Funyon: “And their opponent, from Tampa Florida, weighing in at two hundred and eight pounds … ‘THE KING OF NIGHTMARES’ MICHAEL CRAVEN!”

 

BBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

King Of My World stirs into life as Craven steps onto the ramp, covered in shadow. Slowly pacing down the ramp, he stops and spins as wall of pyro lights up the arena. Sprinting into the ring, diving under the ropes and springing to his feet as Soapdish rings the opening bell.

 

DING, DING, DING!

 

Comet: “Here we go Citizens!”

 

Dropping back to the mat from the turnbuckles, Silent dives across the ring as Horrorcore and the Chimera lock up, slamming their heads together in vicious Headbutts as go. The Silent One takes advantage, sending his foot arching through the air and drilling it into the back of Craven’s head before twisting on his heel and smashing the back of his foot into Dace’s neck. Twisting around again, Silent catches Michael with a knee to the mid section, doubling him over before spiking him to the mat with a DDT. Rolling back to his feet just in time to catch a big Lariat from Dace in his hands before it takes his head off. Planting his boot into Night’s gut, Silent wraps his arms around his weight and drags him over to the mat with a Gut Wrench Suplex.

 

RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

 

Riley: “Silent in control, he’s just going to slaughter both Dace and Craven in this one. Those to will be too bust trying to settle their scores from Genesis but Silent is looking beyond that to more important things.”

Comet: “But he’s got to remember, whoever he pins first is still going to be in the ring until the end of the match.”

 

Keeping his grip and dragging Night back up to his feet, Silent pops is arm under Dace’s armpit and grabs the back of his neck, hooking him in for a Sambo Suplex as The Chimera struggles back to his feet. Clenching in his grip, the Silent One arches his back and …

 

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

 

…Has thee stiff ear ringing Elbow Smashes driven into the side of his head as Dace struggles free, shoving The Slaughter away as he loses his balance for just a second. The King of Nightmares pushes straight past the discarded Silent and slides up behind Dace Night, forcing his arms up into a Full Nelson and dragging him up into the air. Releasing his hold, Michael sends Dace crashing face and chest first into the ring canvas as he sits out…

 

CRACK! OOOHHHHHHHHHH!

 

…As Silent recovers and jams a skull splitting low kick into the back of Craven’s head as he lands. Lacing his legs around the Chimera’s throat and arm, wrenching backwards into a Triangle Choke.

 

RRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “Craven going straight after Dace when he gets the chance. Making it clear who he’s marking in this one. But it costs him to forget the Silent One and now he’s in trouble.”

Riley: “Good old brawl, this is what I like to see in the fed. Nice to see Stevens can’t kill real wrestling around this place.”

 

Soapdish slips into place, checking on Craven as the thrashes around on the mat, trying to get a grip on Silent’s legs for force them apart, even as the great no seller leans back, trying to snap one body bit or another for a submission. In desperation, Craven kips up, throwing his body head over hells backwards, rolling himself and Silent onto their fronts and tucking himself in under his extended shoulder, easing off the pressure as Silent tries to flip back over and stretch out again to gain the full effect

of the Triangle Choke.

 

Dace rolls back to his feet and waits, not bothering to break up a hold in an elimination match. Looking around, Silent suddenly releases the hold and springs to his feet in a stance, eyes flicking towards Horrorcore.

 

Comet: “Dace just sits there while Silent chokes out Michael Craven, because this is an elimination match, so why did Silent break the hold?”

Riley: “Because Comet, he doesn’t trust Dace and he’s watching his own back. Would you trust a psycho like Dace when you’re a psycho like Silent?”

 

With the Chimera gasping and spluttering for air on the mat, The Slaughter and The High Priest of Horrorcore circle each other slowly around the ring. Lunging forwards, Silent fakes out a series of Roundhouse kicks then charges in while Night is off balance, launching a huge thrusting kick towards his mid section, but Dace throws his arm out and absorbs all the impact on his forearm, even as Silent shifts gear and brings his hands sailing overhead and slamming into the sides of the Hardcore Goth’s neck with a pair of chops. He follows up by slamming his head into Dace’s nose, knocking him reeling.

 

BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

To giving him any room to recover, Silent ducks an arm under his shoulder once again, bracing himself and this time managing to lift and arm, slamming Dace into the mat shoulders first with a Sambo Suplex. Locking his arms around Night’s shoulder, Silent holds them down for the first cover of the match.

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

……Kickout!

 

YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

 

Riley: “That’s what I like to see, Dace getting the heel beaten out of him by Silent. I’ll like it even more when he finishes the job.”

 

Still sucking in air, Michael Craven stumbles back to his feet, using the ropes for support as Silent returns to his feet and starts to put the boots to Dace, raining down a hail of well practiced kicks. Once again sneaking up behind the stronger and tougher opponent, Craven clamps on a Rear Waistlock and snaps his body backwards, launching Silent through the air and down to the mat with a German Suplex. Bouncing off his shoulders, Silent springs back to his feet with no sign of damage as he races forwards and almost drills Craven out of his boots with a Burning Lariat, sending the King of Nightmares into a twist before he hits the mat.

 

YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

 

Racing across from the other side of the ring, Horrorcore drills the Silent One with a huge Lariat to the chest of his own, driving him backwards across the ring, almost in a tackle. Looping his arm around Silent’s head as he does so, Night slips a hand between his legs and arches his body backwards, sending Silent into the mat with an Exploder Suplex. But once more Silent rolls to his feet without showing signs of being affected. Lunging forwards, foot first, The Slaughter catches Dace in the temple with a huge Roundhouse Kick….

 

CRACK! BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOO!

 

Once again slipping his arm under and around Night’s shoulder, Silent clamps down and spins, taking Horrorcore through the air, driving him into the mat with a second Sambo Suplex. Rolling back and hooking the leg, Silent makes a cover.

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

 

……TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A QUARTER!

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “My god Citizen Riley, will you believe just how tough the Silent One is. He can take everything you throw at him and he keeps coming back for more.”

Riley: “That and his experience with why he’s just walking through Dace Night and Michael Craven right now. He’s going all the way to the top, I can feel it.”

 

Not letting any expression slip past his face as Dace kicks out for a second time, Silent turns to check on the Chimera as he paces slowly across the ring, hoping to sneak up from behind yet again. Silent spins on his feet and slices out of the back of his and as Craven jumps backwards to avoid the blow. Spinning again Silent slices out once more, this time connecting with Michael’s chest. Ending up side on, The Slaughter grabs the Chimera’s arm and drags it over his shoulder, looking for a Judo Shoulder Throw, but Craven fights back, drilling his knee into the exposed side of Silent’s ribs. Quickly reaching over and forcing on an Inverted Facelock, The King of Nightmares drops back with an Inverted DDT, planting Silent into the mat.

 

Straight back up to his feet, Craven takes a few steps backwards before diving forces and drilling both feet into Silent’s temple with a Dropkick that sends him rolling across the mat. While Silent’s down, Michael races to take advantage of Dace while he’s still dazed. Hauling him up to his feet, Craven drives a boot into his gut, doubling Horrorcore over before backing off a few steps. Bounding into the air, the Chimera brings his leg up and over, crashing down into the back of Dace’s head with a Scissors Kick.

 

BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Craven kips back to his feet just in time to feet the Silent One’s arms closing around his neck and snapping him backwards in one swift motion, spiking him neck first into the mat with a crunch. Quickly rolling the Chimera onto his back, Silent drops all his weight across him for a cover as Soapdish drops in along side them.

 

RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

 

…..ONE!

 

 

 

 

……TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A QUARTER

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A HALF!

 

 

Kickout!

 

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “Silent catches The Chimera from behind and nails him with a Downshifter Suplex. How is anyone going to get an advantage in this match to win it?”

Riley: “Craven kept trying to sneak up to avoid going head to head with those to mad men, but it cost them when Silent played him at his own game!”

 

Shooting a glance over his shoulder at the still downed Night, Silent turns back to the King of Nightmares, doubling him over into a Standing Headscissors, spreading his arms for a moment before clamping them around Craven’s waist. With his back to the turnbuckles, Silent digs his feet in to drag Craven up for the Fall From Grace to finish him off. Desperately trying to hold on to his chance at a World Title shot, Craven grapevines his arms around Silent’s legs and sandbags for all he’s got, trying to keep himself on the mat. Digging his heels in, Silent redoubles his hold but Michael throws his weight upwards, lifting Silent back across his shoulder before diving forwards and slamming him into the turnbuckles with a High Angle Spinebuster.

 

CRUNCH! RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Forcing himself back to his feet, Dace bounces backwards off the ropes and hurtles across the ring, flying past of the collapsing Craven and hammers his extended leg into Silent’s face with a Yakuza Kick, slamming him back into the corner the Chimera just drove him into.

 

Comet: “Yakuza Kick! Night takes advantage of Craven’s desperation counter”

Riley: “That cheating bastard. Having to take advantage while his opponents down!”

 

Looping his arm around the Slaughter’s head in a Front Facelock, Dace hauls him up into the air. Taking a half turn, Night throws the Silent One forwards and hangs him out to dry, gut first across the top rope. Night looks around for the King of Nightmares, but Craven is already back on his feet, hammering away with a series of right hands before Dace has time to react. Twisting to the side and driving his shoulders into Night’s body, Craven hosts him up into a Fireman’s Carry. Making a spin and launching Dace off, the Chimera sits out and drops him neck first into the mat with a Craven Driver. Flipping Silent off the ropes and onto of Dace, the Chimera climbs the turnbuckles to the top rope, gazing down on both men, as he springs up into the air then comes crashing down.

 

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “Silent moved!”

Riley: “Dace didn’t ha!”

 

The Silent One rolls out of the way, but Dace Night can’t and gets squashed by a Five Star Frog Splash. Quickly hooking a leg, Craven makes a cover.

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A QUARTER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A HALF!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……Kickout!

 

RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

 

The King of Nightmares slams his fists into the mat in frustration as Dace rolls a shoulder up. Pushing himself back to his feet, Craven jumps back to avoid a huge kick from the Silent One. Leaping back towards Silent, Craven fires off a rain of Forearm Smashes, hammering away at him. Grabbing his arm, Michael shoots Silent off across the ring into the ropes. Waiting on his return, Craven ducks at the last second as Silent swings for a Burning Lariat, grabbing the ropes on his way down and sending the Slaughter sailing over the ropes and down the apron below. Sliding under the ropes Craven follows him out to the floor as Dace lays sprawled out in the ring.

 

Dropping to a crouch, the Chimera pauses for a few moments before charging forward as Silent raises to his feet. Craven crashes shoulder first into his gut at full speed, slamming him back into the security barrier behind them.

 

CLANK! RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “Gore in the security barrier! The Chimera is trying to take out the Silent One!”

Riley: “Work on taking out Dace you fool!”

 

Scrambling back into the ring, Craven grabs hold of a still dazed Dace Night. Dragging him up and digging a knee into his mid section several times into a row, the Chimera ducks under Horrorcore’s body and lifts him up into a Fireman’s Carry. Swing Night’s legs around behind his back, Craven looks to finish Night off with a Golf Coast Crunch, but Dace franticly kicks his legs and brings himself back to air before Craven can finish the move. Desperately shoving him forwards, chest first into the turnbuckles, Dace slaps on a Rear Waistlock as fast as he can and snaps over with a German Suplex, holding onto the bridge for the cover.

 

The fans yell along as Soapdish counts the fall…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Comet: “Michael Craven kicks out at two and three quarters, he’s still in this one!”

Riley: “Come on, Dace is almost out, Silent’s down. Get back on track and win this one while you can.”

 

Comet: “Dace Night is just running on guts right now. He hasn’t had time to get his head back together.”

 

Stumbling back to his feet, Dace pulls Michael Craven up with him. Relocking his arms around the Chimera’s waist, Dace pulls him to once side and arches his body backwards, taking Craven over his shoulder and skull first towards the mat below. Twisting over in mid air, the King of Nightmares rolls his body onto of Horrorcore’s, into an almost Crossbody, pinning him down to the mat with the sudden shift of weight. Soapdish dives in once more to make the count.

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A QUARTER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A HALF!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND THREE QUARTERS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TTHHH—NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

 

Just wiggling his shoulder out and throwing it into the air, Dace escapes the pinfall once again. On the outside of the ring, Silent drags himself back up, shaking out his body before striding across the floor and climbing the ring apron. The Chimera pulls Night back to his feet in an Inverted Facelock, swinging his body over, Craven goes for an Inverted Swinging Neckbreaker …

 

CRACK!

 

… Just as the Silent One leaps into the air and hammers the front of his foot into Craven’s face with a Gamengiri. Dace sprawls to the mat as Michael topples backwards like a sack of bricks, eyes rolled back into his head. Silent drags him back up to his feet, pulling him into a Standing Headscissors in a flash. Dragging him up into the air, Silent spreads out the Chimera’s arms into a crucifix. Diving forwards, the Slaughter plants him neck first into the mat with a High Angle Crucifix Powerbomb.

 

RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “Fall From Grace! It’s all over for The King of Nightmares!”

Riley: “Hit Dace with it you mad idiot. Dace you fool!”

 

Hooks both of Michael’s legs, Silent pulls them over into a cover as the crowd shouts along.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Funyon: “Michael Craven has been eliminated!”

 

Throwing his arms in the air, letting out a small gloat as Craven lays motionless on the mat, eyes rolled back, body not even twitching.

 

Comet: “Craven’s out. But he’s not going. If he gets back any time soon, he could still be a factor in who wins this match up.”

 

As Dace tries to force himself back up, the Slaughter steps over, grabbing onto Night’s right arm and falls back, lacing his legs around Horrorcore’s throat at the same time, trying to lock on the Triangle Choke, but Dace shoves his arm up, forcing it between his neck and Silent’s leg, blocking the near crippling hold. Twisting from side to side, flicking his legs, the Silent One tries to force Night’s arm out of the way and lock on the hold as the Hardcore Goth fights for survival. Stretching out on the mat, Dace tries to reach for the ropes, which seem so far away. Flicking his body over, Silent rolls himself and Dace over, taking them body away from the ropes. Using the moment of the roll to force his arm further out, Night almost breaks out of the hold but Silent clamps his legs back again. Wrenching back on the arm and putting pressure on Dace’s neck where he can, Silent grits his teeth and pulls back.

 

Tucking his legs back under themselves, Dace raises himself up on them, throwing his whole body weight to the side, dragging Silent along with him and brings them both crashing into the ropes.

 

BREAK!

 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Slowly releasing the hold, the Silent One pulls himself up and stands back, measuring himself slowly as Dace drags himself up on the ropes. Silent swings the moment Dace is back to his feet, but Horrorcore ducks and lunges forwards, stepping inside the swing of the kick and launching a huge attack of stiff elbows into the Slaughter’s head.

 

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

 

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

 

Switching gears and driving his knee upwards, Dace plants it deep into Silent’s mid section sharply, four times in a row, doubling the no seller over. Clamping on a Front Facelock, Dace wrenches Silent up into the air, before throwing his legs out and drops backwards, spiking Silent onto his neck with a Sheer Drop Brainbuster.

 

OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Rolling over, Dace hooks a leg and makes a cover.

 

 

…….ONE!

 

 

 

 

…….TWO!

 

 

Kickout!

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “Sheer Drop Brainbuster and Silent easily kicks out at two.”

Riley: “It’s Silent and that’s just how tough he is. A whole load of those stiff Elbow Smashes too. Dace has got to learn. They won’t do shit to Silent.”

 

Rolling back to his feet with Silent still in his grasp, Dace slips behind him into a Rear Waistlock and snaps his body backwards, taking the Silent One over his shoulder and drops him head first into the mat with a Backdrop Driver, as the crunch of skull on ring canvas echoes across the arena. Quickly rolling over, Dace pins Silent down to the mat for another cover.

 

 

…….ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…….TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A … Kickout!

 

BBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Comet: “Backdrop Driver and Silent still kicks out before two and a half!”

 

Shifting his body over Silent’s, Horrorcore sits across his chest and in sheer frustration, rains down Elbow Smashes like meteor strikes…

 

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

 

His head snapping from side to side, bruises forming all over, Silent just rolls with the rolls, seeming to be almost unaffected by the skull crushing Elbow Smashes. As Night lays into Silent, Craven slowly starts to twitch and move. Standing up Dace raises himself up on tip toes and drives forwards, slamming his knee down into Silent’s forehead with another splitting cracking sound. Pressing his whole body weight into the Silent One’s chest, he makes another cover.

 

…….ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…….TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…….TWO AND A QUARTER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

SILENT SUCKS! SILENT SUCKS! SILENT SUCKS!

 

Slamming the mat in rage, Horrorcore grabs the no selling Slaughter by his head and wrenches him up from the mat to his feet. Dragging him into a Standing Headscissors, Dace goes to wrap his arms around Silent’s waist, but Silent pushes back of his legs, fighting out of the Headscissors. Swinging behind Dace and locking on an Inverted Facelock, Silent falls backwards and drives him into the mat with a Dragon DDT.

Across the ring, Michael Craven drags himself up to his feet and heads towards the Silent One as he pulls Dace into a sitting position and nails him in the back of the head with a stiff kick.

 

CRACK! BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

As Silent spins on his heel from the kick, Craven ducks under his body and throws him up into a Fireman’s Carry. Quickly swinging Silent’s legs out, Craven drops him throat first across his shoulder with a Golf Coast Crunch. Rolling back to his feet, Dace catches Craven with a boot to the mid section. Underhooking both his arms, Dace lifts them Chimera into the air and drills him back into the mat with a High Angle Double Arm DDT. Even as Craven rolls on his head, Horrorcore dives across the mat and jumps on top of Silent, hooking both legs and his shoulders in an desperate effort to keep him down for the three count as the fans yell along.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TTTTTHHHHHHHRRRRRRRR-NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “The Chimera plants The Silent One with the Golf Coast Crunch then gets Defenestarted, but it’s still not enough for Dace to keep Silent down for the three count.”

 

Double Underhooking Silent and dragging him off the mat, Dace hauls him up and spikes him backwards with a Defenestration, rolling over, still holding onto the Double Underhook, Dace hauls Silent up again and spikes him a second time. Rolling over once more Dace comes back to his feet and lifts up Silent, drilling him with a third Defenestration in a row.

 

YYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “Three Defenestrations in a row, it’s got to be over now!”

 

Collapsing over Silent, Dace makes a cover once more as Soapdish drops into place.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TTTTTHHHHHHRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Funyon: “Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your Winner and Number One Contender to the SWF World Heavy Weight Title …. DACE NNNIIIGGGHHHHHTTTTT!”

 

DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT!

 

Comet: “And finally Silent goes down for the one, two, three.”

Riley: ”Yer, just look at how much it took. Like Dace could have done that if Silent didn’t have Craven to think about at the same time as well.”

 

Soapdish raise Dace’s arm into the air to signal his victory. All three men are laid out in the ring, hardly moving in the aftermath of the struggle for the number one contendership.

 

Riley: “Oh well, I won’t worry to much. Next up Tom Flesher is going to defend his title against Strangler without a problem, then he’s going to crush Dace like a bug when he comes his way.”

 

Fade Out.

[Kaertos 0]

The Hampton Coliseum lights up once again as SWF Lockdown returns from a commercial break! The fans are going wild, knowing that the World Championship main event is the next match up. Various fans are shown wearing TBS or Tom Flesher t-shirts and carrying signs to support their favored wrestler, but it’s clear from the crowd’s demeanor that they’ll be into it no matter who wins.

 

“And this is the one we’ve been waiting for, folks,” says Bobby Riley. “Tonight, that gold digger Tom Flesher’s going to try to defend his title against the big, dumb slug he won it from. Whee.”

 

“Yes, the newest convert to the light side, Citizen Tom Flesher, will defend his SWF World Championship against the Boston Strangler! Granted, the Strangler has been having trouble lately with one Erek Taylor, but hopefully this match will be resolved without any undue interference from the famous and furious former X Force 9 member.”

 

“What are you saying?” gasps Riley. “I might doze off if Taylor doesn’t show up and cut a promo some time.”

 

“Well, delusional broadcast partner or not, let’s send control of this one up to Funyon!”

 

Already in the ring, Funyon announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall… it is for the SWF World Championship, and it is your MAIN EVENT!” The fans pop, ready to see the action. “First, making his way to the ring is the challenger….”

 

The arena goes dim as the opening chords of “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult start to play, and the crowd’s cheering gets even louder. As the song launches into the opening guitar riff, the SmarkTron lights up with the name “STRANGLER” in big white letters as a massive burst of white pryo explodes from the stage. As the fireworks begin to die down, Strangler walks out from behind the curtain. He looks shaken, however, and not his usual, confident self. He walks to the ring, downcast, and looking suspiciously at the crowd.

 

“Comet,” says Bobby Riley, with what almost sounds like concern in his voice, “I knew Strangler wasn’t doing well, but… geez, something’s really wrong with him.”

 

“Absolutely, Citizen Riley,” sighs Comet. “The Boston Strangler is letting Erek Taylor into his head and allowing him to control the way he thinks.”

 

“Of course he is,” grumbles the grizzly vet. “Strangler’s an addict, you know, and they teach you all kinds of weird shit when you’re in those programs. They probably want him to be nonviolent or something.”

 

“I refuse to believe that it was nonviolence that brought the Boston Strangler we know and love to the top of the SWF.”

 

“Who loves him?”

 

Strangler sullenly enters the ring, and Funyon announces him. “Weighing in at 303 pounds, and hailing from Boston, Massachusetts, former SWF World Champion, the BOSTON STRANGLER!!!!!!”

 

Strangler stands numbly in the ring, acknowledging the crowd only by raising his eyes off the mat and looking out to the seats as the music fades. He doesn’t even raise his fist as usual, much less mount the ropes. Not quite sure what to do, Funyon simply announces, “And his opponent….”

 

The lights go down and the SmarkTron begins glowing white. As the opening guitars of the Philosopher Kings’ “I Am The Man” vibrate through the arena, the words “WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION” fade onto the screen in thin blue lettering. The fans applaud, anticipating the entrance of the Superior One. After a few seconds…

 

 

BOOM!

 

 

An explosion of blue pyro and smoke lights up the arena as the song starts to rock out over the sound system! Tom Flesher emerges from the cloud of smoke, striding confidently to the ring as videos of his signature moves alternate in half-second clips with the words “SUPERIOR ONE,” “AWARD-WINNING,” “MAIN ATTRACTION” and “THE MAN.” Flesher pauses on the ramp, crossing his arms over his chest as the fans applaud him. They continue cheering for him as he falls out of his pose and walks to the ring, his SWF Title belt slung over the shoulder of his blue warm-up suit.

 

“And here we see Tom Flesher, beacon of confidence as always,” says Comet. “We have quite a contrast tonight, with the Boston Strangler on one side and Tom Flesher on the other.”

 

“What, penis size?”

 

“You’re stretching for that joke,” adds Comet, totally deadpan.

 

Flesher climbs the stairs to enter the ring and, making sure to wipe his feet off on the apron, steps into the ring. As the music fades away, Flesher positions himself in the center of the ring. Funyon pulls the index card out of his chest pocket and begins reading…

 

“Tonight, you will see the next installment in a saga that’s been going on for over a year. When Chris Wilson handed the reins of the Magnificent Seven off to Tom Flesher, these two men have had nothing but hatred for each other. However, with that in mind, we’re hoping to have a good, clean fight to settle things tonight. The man defending the title certainly intends to keep it that way. He is, after all, not only from Buffalo, New York, and not only 213 pounds… he is ‘The Superior One,’ TOM FLESHER!”

 

The fans applaud as Flesher takes a quick bow. He steps off to the side of the ring, handing the belt off to the official. As Flesher stretches out, the referee walks over to show the belt to Strangler. The challenger nods, clearly preoccupied. The ref shrugs and holds the belt up to show it to the crowd, which pops. Strangler looks up nervously, and his head pivots to the entranceway. He sees no one there and shakes his head to rid himself of the notion, but still seems shaken.

 

“He’s convinced that if he looks away for a moment, Erek Taylor will interject himself,” says Comet. “He’s convinced that every time the crowd cheers, it’s because of Erek Taylor.”

 

Regardless, Flesher strips his warm-up off, and the official calls for the bell.

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!

 

 

“And this match,” says Comet, “is underway! Let’s see how these men who know each other so well interact on this, their fifth meeting.”

 

Strangler numbly comes to the center of the ring, pausing to look over his shoulder once more. Flesher reaches out, and the two slap hands. Then, Flesher grabs Strangler’s left hand, extending one arm and offering the other to start the match in a Greco-Roman knuckle lock. Strangler stiffens as he grabs the opposite hand. Flesher shoots in, creating an angle of attack on Strangler’s left leg, but the challenger steps back and braces his arms out to keep Flesher from being able to snatch the leg or sweep it out. Tom backs up, standing straight to avoid getting shoved to his back. He leaves himself relatively open for attack, but Strangler apathetically stands his ground.

 

“What the hell’s wrong with him?” says Riley incredulously.

 

Flesher quickly gets back to his feet, then chooses to adjust his angle of attack. He swings Strangler’s left arm over his head and releases the right arm, ducking under the armpit and spinning behind the mammoth challenger! Strangler kicks into gear, grabbing Flesher’s hands as he locks them around his torso. The Southie native frantically pulls Flesher’s hands apart to keep from being thrown, and eventually the World Champion ramps him forward into a corner. Flesher releases him and steps back, falling into his stance to be ready when his opponent turns around. The Boston Strangler, however, simply leans on the turnbuckles, looking once again toward the entrance. Flesher, frustrated, simply walks back to the center.

 

“Bobby, I’m not sure exactly what to say,” says Comet. “I was hired to commentate wrestling, but…”

 

“You’re right, Comet. This isn’t wrestling… it’s just sad.” Riley sighs. “And the worst part is that I can’t even change the channel. The fans at home should consider themselves lucky.”

 

“I’m sure the stockholders wouldn’t be too happy to hear you say that,” chastises the superhero.

 

“Eh, what have the stockholders done for you lately?”

 

Flesher walks back to the corner and grabs Strangler by the arm. Strangler turns around slowly, and Flesher ushers him across the ring with a stiff Irish whip! The challenger sprints toward the corner, turning to absorb the blow on his massive back. Flesher follows him in, leaping up for a body avalanche… but Strangler catches him off-guard with a big boot to the face! Flesher staggers backwards, and the fans cheer! Strangler sprints forward, slamming into Flesher with a sickening lariat! The fans applaud as Tom Flesher collapses to the mat… but the Boston Strangler doesn’t capitalize! Instead, he just looks down at Tom Flesher, and then at his fist, as if he’d done something incredibly wrong.

 

“Here we go again,” says Riley. “He’s employed by a wrestling promotion, he’s a top contender for some reason, but they told him not to be violent. Where the hell’s the fun in that?”

 

“Perhaps,” says Comet, “the Boston Strangler is more concerned with his own personal development than with a championship belt he has already worn once. With Tom Flesher batting for our team now, we have more than adequate defense against the inky black darkness of evil! The good man that he is, Strangler can concentrate on becoming a better person.”

 

“He can start by sending refunds to all these fans,” Riley growls. “They didn’t pay for this soap opera crap, they paid for a wrestling match!”

 

Flesher shakes off the cobwebs, coming to his feet. He looks up at Strangler, locking eyes, and then diving in to grab him around the floating ribs with a bear hug! Strangler, somewhat surprised, tries to back away, and Flesher releases the hold with disgust. Instead, he grabs Strangler by the neck and triceps muscle, pulling him into a collar-and-elbow tie. Strangler resists, once again trying only to hold his ground. Flesher, with no other real option, pulls Strangler over his body and executes another duck-under. Strangler tries to stay on his feet, but Flesher manages to lock his hands and grab him in a waistlock! The challenger reaches for the ropes, but Tom Flesher tightens his lock and begins to pull Strangler back! Even as the Boston Strangler fights, the Superior One arches back and screams out, releasing a huge kiai! The fans cheer as Flesher throws the enormous Strangler backward with a German suplex, releasing him just a few feet off the canvas! Strangler lands on his shoulders and rolls through, finally coming to rest on his stomach! The fans burst into cheers for the feat of strength, but Strangler pops up to his knees. Again, he looks toward the entrance, half relieved and half paranoid when he sees no one there.

 

“Robert,” says Comet, “this just doesn’t make sense. In the first place, why would Strangler think the fans were cheering Erek Taylor?”

 

“It’s pretty obvious if you’re not a mask-wearing schmuck,” says Riley. “Present company excepted, of course,” he adds with a quick cough. “Strangler knows that Taylor wrestles a style that the fans want to see. It’s not mindless power, it’s not silly suplexes…”

 

“You like Flesher’s suplexes.”

 

“Pfft,” scoffs the play-by-play man. “Next you’ll be saying I spent six months of my life stalking him and watching him shower. No, Comet, I like what the fans like. I like exciting, high-impact moves like Fame and Fury. Erek Taylor entertains me, and he entertains all these fans. Strangler just can’t accept that given a choice between him and Taylor, the fans would choose Taylor.”

 

“I HARDLY think that’s the case.”

 

“Well, as you know, Comet, you’re a mask-wearing schmuck.”

 

Flesher watches Strangler look toward the curtain and realizes once again that he's making no effort to truly escape. Frustrated, the World Champion dives onto him and yanks his shoulder back, covering him for

 

 

ONE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT! The mammoth challenger kicks Flesher off of him and starts back to his feet, but Flesher quickly grabs him in a front headlock and jumps backward to extend Strangler's body. With an expression mixing confusion and anger, Flesher holds on to the headlock and tries to collect his thoughts.

 

“Truly,” says Cyclone Comet, “this isn't the same Strangler we've seen before. It seems like this spat with Erek Taylor has gotten inside his head and is sapping him of his killer instinct.”

 

“Pfft. Strangler never had any killer instinct to begin with,” scoffs Riley. “All he's ever done is beat people senseless. You don't need any skill or instinct to do that... it's nothing but smash.”

 

The referee, not sure exactly what to do, orders Flesher to do something with the hold. Flesher shrugs and shucks TBS by, throwing him forward with a forearm and spinning behind him for a takedown. From there, Flesher grabs at Strangler's left wrist, hoping to bar the arm and lock on some sort of pinning combination. The seemingly apathetic challenger straightens his arm, breaking Flesher's grip on it, but makes no effort to escape. He simply stays on his stomach, refusing to budge. Flesher grabs for the arm once again, and once again, Strangler breaks the hold without making any real progress toward escaping. In the heat of the moment, the angry Flesher throws a stiff forearm into the back of Strangler's neck. He grinds it back and forth, looking down at Strangler as if he's wasiting for the beast of a man to escape his shell. Strangler makes a small attempt, raising his hips off the mat to throw Flesher off balance, and slides out of the ride as quickly as a 300-pound man can be expected to, turning in to face Flesher! Tom releases Strangler, hoping he's finally lit a fire in his belly. Flesher stands up, followed in short order by Strangler, who hears the crowd cheering him on. Strangler looks at Flesher, who stares at him as if he's waiting to be punched in the face. Strangler lifts his fist, holding it in the air....

 

and drops it.

 

The fans begin booing, both disappointed in Strangler and pissed off at the lack of a competent main event. Flesher finally lets his emotions get the best of him and shoves Strangler back into the corner! Strangler leans against the buckles, half-heartedly throwing a guard up to block Flesher's blows, but Flesher knocks his hands out of the way and....

 

 

WHACK!!!!!!

 

 

“Jesus Christ, Comet! Did you see that slap?” Riley seems pleased, almost excited by Flesher's momentary return to his old demeanor. “I don't know if Flesher's just trying to fire Strangler up or... we can only hope... realizing that this nice-guy shit isn't all it's cracked up to be, but...”

 

“The Boston Strangler just isn't himself today, Robert,” sighs Comet. “We've seen Flesher and the Boston Strangler facing off so many times in the past, and never have we seen it this one-sided. Granted, Flesher has the edge as far as his superior technical ability, but the former World Champion has always made up for that with his size and mastery of power maneuvers. Tonight, he's just being...”

 

“Schooled?”

 

“Schooled.”

 

When TBS doesn't respond to the bitchslap, Flesher shoves him again, and waits for a response. Once again, Strangler starts to move, but holds back. Flesher, now completely off his game, simply slaps Strangler across the face and shouts "EREK FUCKING TAYLOR WINS! ARE YOU HAPPY? THERE! HE WINS!" The crowd boos at the mention of Taylor's name, and Flesher simply turns toward the center, ready to walk out.

 

Of course, he's forgotten the cardinal rule of wrestling:

 

“Never tell your opponent that Erek Taylor wins,” sighs Riley as Strangler charges out of the corner and nails Flesher in the back of the head with a lariat!

 

“Don't you think that's a slightly overspecific rule, Robert?”

 

“Well, I suppose he DID turn his back on his opponent or something,” he grumbles.

 

Strangler knocks Flesher to the canvas and starts to dive onto him... but can't. Rather than jump on Flesher and administer a beating, he simply backs off, a look of shame on his face. He backs away, looking at Flesher, and then the referee. The crowd, unsure how to react, is silent.

 

“Of course, that's what happens when you blindside a guy,” says Riley. “Oh well. That's what Strangler gets for being a dick.”

 

“How can you say that when Flesher was only TRYING to incite the Boston Strangler to violence? Tom Flesher was looking at Citizen Katowski and seeing a shell of half a shell of a man! He wanted nothing more than to cause the Boston Strangler to regain his killer instinct!”

 

“And he failed miserably. Look at that moron - he doesn't even know what he did!”

 

Strangler hangs his head as Flesher stands up, looks him over and sighs. Guiltily, Flesher drops down and snags the challenger by his ankle, taking him down with a single-leg takedown and parlaying the hold into a half Boston crab. He stands up, locking the crab at a nearly inhuman angle, but the Boston Strangler simply lays on the mat showing no pain whatsoever. Flesher tries to jack Strangler's ankle up, but the size difference is just too much for the diminutive Flesher to force Strangler to tap. After a moment or two, the challenger simply kicks his leg to break the hold, and Flesher makes no effort to keep it.

 

“This is just sad, good Citizen Riley,” says Comet. “It seems Erek Taylor has broken the Boston Strangler's spirit entirely.”

 

Strangler starts up to his feet, but Flesher simply shoots another single-leg takedown. This time, he snatches Strangler by the far ankle and sends him spilling clumsily to the mat on his side. Flesher mounts him from the side and grabs him by the left wrist. Strangler, doing the absolute minimum to keep from being pinned, rolls to his stomach. Flesher continues his setup, pulling the left arm out and shooting his legs in a scissors grip under Strangler's shoulder and around his neck, locking on a triangle choke!

 

“This should do it,” says Riley. “If Strangler just lays there, he'll be out like a light!”

 

“And,” adds Comet, “if he fights back, we just may see the start of something big!”

 

Suddenly, the fans burst into a chorus of boos! The Boston Strangler looks up, nearly ignoring the effects of Flesher’s deadly triangle choke as he looks to the entranceway. This time, Erek Taylor is sprinting out of the locker room, and the fans are booing him incessantly! Strangler stands up, this time simply muscling out of the submission hold and leaving Tom Flesher confused (and only slightly embarrassed at the ease with which Strangler broke the hold) on the mat. Taylor slides into the ring and squares off with Strangler, standing toe to toe with the giant. Flesher slides to the side and sits in the corner, watching intently.

 

“Geez, Comet, what do you think Taylor’s going to do?”

 

“I’d have to say,” replies the color man, “that Erek Taylor is most likely going to get his hindquarters handed to him by a certain New Englander.”

 

“Riiiiiight,” scoffs Riley. “The only way that’s going to happen is if Lawyer Milloy runs in and spears him.”

 

Taylor butts up against Strangler, shoving him backwards. Strangler guiltily backs away, looking at the mat and avoiding eye contact with Taylor. The Extreme One, however, shoves him again! Once again, Strangler responds passively, inciting Taylor to haul off and smack him! Strangler hangs his head like a dog being whipped, but Erek Taylor just continues battering him! The fans boo, but Strangler just refuses to fight back!

 

“See?” says Riley. “They’re booing Taylor because he’s sticking to punches. They want to see him MOVE, damn it!”

 

Strangler stands back, and Tom Flesher starts to his feet in the corner. He watches, his eyes on Taylor and the look on his face getting more intense with every punch the former Light Heavyweight Champion lands. Taylor continues assaulting the Boston Strangler, more concerned with embarrassing him than anything else. Flesher watches, until finally, he can’t watch any longer.

 

Tom Flesher charges at Erek Taylor and blindsides him with an explosive Yakuza kick! Taylor falls to the mat, not entirely sure what just happened, and the crowd bursts into cheers!

 

“Tom Flesher is stepping up to the plate for the Boston Strangler!” shouts Cyclone Comet! “After all the time these two have spent fighting, there HAS to be some respect there, and Flesher is showing it tonight by protecting Strangler from Erek Taylor!”

 

“What, Albie can’t fight his own battles?”

 

“Not in the state he’s in, Robert! He needs to be protected from that manipulative bastard!”

 

Flesher waits for Taylor to get up. As soon as the shaken High Flying Prince gets to his feet, Flesher dives in, locking his hands around Taylor’s waist. He ducks his head under Taylor’s arm and arches backwards, spiking the former X Force 9 member onto his head with a nearly vertical backdrop driver! The fans burst into cheers as Taylor rolls across the top of his head and lands on his stomach! He rolls out of the ring, holding his head. Flesher, meanwhile, turns to Strangler. The two lock eyes.

 

“This wasn’t just about respect,” says Cyclone Comet. “Tom Flesher is doing what he can to keep the match fair. Some people have wondered about his commitment to fighting the steak sauce of evil that threatens to mask the flavor of the rare filet mignon that is justice, but here Flesher is not only showing his allegiance, he’s wiping the steak sauce off and offering a side of sautéed mushrooms as well!”

 

“I thought they said they were going to monitor your caffeine intake,” says Riley in disbelief.

 

Erek Taylor stands up on the outside, watching as Flesher pats Strangler on the shoulder and nods as if to say “I know you’d do the same.” Taylor holds the back of his head and begins backing his way up the ramp.

 

“Tonight, Erek Taylor realizes that discretion’s the better part of valor,” says Riley. “He knows he can take these guys one on one, but not double teaming him!”

 

“They never once double teamed him,” says Comet. “Flesher jumped in to save Strangler, because he can’t handle it mentally! How is that unfair?”

 

“It just is! When you run in, you only expect to fight one man!”

 

The referee, meanwhile, ducks out of the ring to confer with Funyon. A moment later, the heavily-salted snack treat announces the official word…

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled this match a no-contest!” This meets with mixed reactions from the crowd, but Flesher and Strangler stand in the ring together. Neither of them cares, even as Flesher drapes his belt over his shoulder.

 

“These two might not get along,” says Comet, “and I doubt we’ll ever see them team, but they’ve earned each other’s respect as Tom Flesher showed tonight when he held Erek Taylor off from the assault. For Bobby Riley, I’m Cyclone Comet, and this has been SWF Lockdown!”

 

===

SWF Lockdown, October 8, 2003

© Bases Loaded Productions. All rights reserved.

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