SWF Storm (April 5, 2002)

[Guest BA_Baracus]

WWOOOOOAAHH!  It’s SWF Storm, almost one week removed from the Pay Per View Extravaganza, Battleground 2!  The crowd is raucous, the crowd is rowdy, and OH MY GOD THE PYRO IS BOOMING!

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to SWF Storm!  I’m your host, Curry Man!”

 

“And I’m your host, NTD!”

 

“Dumbass pantsless freak!  I’m the host!”

 

“No, I am!”

 

The pyro ceases as the two announcers bicker and argue, and the lights come back on.  Wildly panning cameras catch signs that no one will remember tomorrow, BECAUSE ALL THE GOOD SIGNS HAVE BEEN DONE BEFORE!

 

The camera focuses on the entryway, waiting for something to happen...

 

And “Guerilla Radio” by Rage kicks up.  The crowd starts booing wildly as the Commissioner of the Smarks Wrestling Federation, one Stubby “Pots” McWeed steps out onto the stage and is illuminated by spotlights.  The crowd’s adulation turns to boos as the Commish walks down the ramp, ignoring the jeers on either side of him.

 

“Last night,” begins Curry Man, “Stubby seemed to have sided with Da Pound, shunning the Clan, due to their inability to protect his wife, Misty.”

 

“Woah there,” counters NTD, “You said a mouthful!  Stubby’s getting in the ring now, so let him talk.”

 

Stubby requests a mic in his gruff voice, then stands in the center of the ring, waiting for his music to fade so he can start talking.  The angry riffs fade into the atmosphere... but the crowd is still booing loudly, jeering, making sure Stubby gets a bad reception.  Stubby looks flustered, but nevertheless, raises the mic.

 

“Idiots.  You-”  Stubby can’t even begin his next sentence without being booed into next Wednesday.  “I bet none of you are married.”

 

“Well, that’s not true.  Even by pure statistics, some of these people have to be married, I guess,” mentions NTD.  Stubby continues:

 

“None of you know what it’s like to have a wife, to have someone you care about.  When you have someone you love, you do anything for her.”

 

The boos continue as Stubby holds his mic and stands thoughtfully.  “I went to the Clan because I heard they could get the job done, and they did... they did... for a while.  But you know what?  They slacked off.  Those bastards wanted a free ride, they wanted to ride MY coattails...”

 

The crowd calms down a little bit, waiting to see what Stubby will say next.

 

“...But that all ended this past Sunday!  I kicked the Clan to the curb, and joined the most dominant force we’ve EVER seen in the SWF: Da Pound!”

 

The crowd’s jeering increases at the mention of the name Da Pound.

 

“You’ve got the most underrated wrestler in the SWF today, Jay Dawg!”

 

“Holy crap, NTD, did he just give props to Jay Dawg?”

 

“You’ve got one evil son of a bitch in Sacred!  And... you’ve got the most dominant SWF, hell IGNWF champ of all time... the H-VILLE THUGG!”

 

The crowd is almost out of their seats, ready to incite a massive riot!  Stubby smirks at all of them.  “See?  None of you understand!  You’re all just a bunch of lonely losers who never get laid!  You’ll never know what it means to have companionship, and know why I did what I did!  You’re all too-”

 

Stubby is cut off as the arena turns a cold blue, and At the Drive-in’s “Quarantined” starts to play.  The beat is slow... but quickly picks up suddenly, as the lights turn crimson red, and Thoth, sans Clan robe, comes out, mic in hand, to a reaction of both boos and cheers.  Some would call it a mixed reaction.  Thoth paces back and forth across the stage as he starts to talk.

 

“Stubby... Stubby... why did you do that?  Why did you betray us?”

 

Stubby stands confused and indignant, then replies, “I thought I made myself clear, retard!  You couldn’t get the job done!”

 

Thoth smirks as he continues to pace.  “No, Stubby... why did you betray... us?  We could’ve talked about this.  You never brought it up.  The Clan is not a commodity, a commodity to be tossed aside when it is used up.  We are quite angry, Stubby... and we remember.  We remember things, we remember people.  We remember what people do to us.  And then you know what, Stubby?  Bad things happen to these people.  John Doe... Christian Fury... a pair of names that no one remembers... because we made sure no one remembered them.  And now Stubby, you... you want to get in our way.  You want to make things difficult.  Is that what you want?”

 

Stubby watches from one position at the edge of the ring, behind the ropes.  He starts to snicker.  “You think that I’m actually afraid of you circus freaks?  You’re people, just like everyone else.  No matter how much you speak in tongues, or slit your wrists, you’re still as dumb as the rest of these idiots here.  (More boos)”

 

“Hmm... you’re right, Stubby.  Absolutely right.  We are just people.  But just like everyone else, I am perfectly capable of making you feel pain.”  With that, Thoth drops the mic and advances on the ring, slowly, staring the commissioner in the eye.  Stubby takes a few steps back, away from the ropes, but holds his ground, ready to fight.

 

“Oh yeah, baby, here we go!” shrieks NTD.

 

Thoth hops up onto the apron, as a smattering of jeers peppers the atmosphere.  No sooner does Thoth step through, ready to teach Stubby a lesson, that he’s knocked forward by a punch from Sacred!

 

“Dammit!  Da Pound is here in full force!” says an angry Curry Man.  Sacred boots Thoth in the gut, and hooks him... Cruel Fate!  Thoth drops like a rock... but the assault isn’t over, as the monstrous HVille Thugg grabs the downed Thoth around the throat with one arm, and lifts him into the air... and delivers an Untamed!  Thoth lands, laying still, as Stubby grabs the mic again.

 

“You dumb Clan slut!  You’re right, you are just part of the people, and so is Da Pound... but they’re bigger people, stronger people, and smarter people!  If you want to pick a fight, you’ve got it!  Just be prepared to leave in body bags.  I’m out of here,” finishes Stubby, as he drops the mic and leaves in the company of Da Pound.

 

“If there ever was any doubt in anyone’s mind, this should end it.  Stubby P. McWeed is clearly with Da Pound!” says Curry Man, as the show goes to break.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

SINGLES MATCH

Johnny Rotten vs. The Prophet

- It looks like Stubby’s old deputy commissioner Johnny Rotten has returned from the dead!  What better way to start him off than to have him teach the dastardly Prophet a lesson?

 

NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH

El Luchadore Magnifico vs. Lady Red

- At Battleground 2, Magnifico managed to retain his belt but lost the heavyweight #1 contendership to Fallout.  Now Magnifico takes on yet another challenger from the Clan…one who may end up wearing his LHW title some day.

 

US TITLE MATCH

K-Os © vs. Jay Dawg

- K-Os managed to defeat Jay Dawg and claim the US title in his first WF match.  On Friday Dawg gets his re-match…

 

CAGE MATCH FOR THE HARDCORE TITLE

Longdogger Pete © vs. Mistress Sarah

- On Sunday Longdogger Pete defeated Sarah for the hardcore title, but not without some controversy.  Longdogger received a good deal of help from female JL wrestler, Sydney Sky.  Sarah obviously wasn’t pleased about his and has upped the ante for her re-match by requesting that the bout take place in a steel cage!

Match Description – Regular DQ and count-out rules are not in effect.  The ring will surrounded on all sides by an approximately 20 foot tall cage.  The winner is the first one to climb over the top of the cage and touch both feet to the floor.

 

TAG TEAM MATCH

Thoth & Fallout vs. Sacred & Hville Thugg

- For various reasons, it appears as if da’ Pound and Clan may be preparing for an all out feud.  On Friday Thoth and Fallout (who is now the heavyweight #1 contender) will face the two top representatives from da’ Pound in a tag match…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

[Live from The America West Arena in Phoenix, Arizona! Many of the capacity crowd are eagarly awaiting the next bout which pits the Prophet against a returning Johnny Rotten. The popcorn guy is pacing back and forth as members of the audience cry out for something to munch on while the IGNTron plays a viginette for the Tables, Ladders, and Lawns 2 collection of videos.]

 

Curry: "Hi again folks, my name is Curry, and I'm here as always with my lifemate, NTD, and NTD, I've got to tell you that Battleground was one of the most amazing pay per views I've ever seen."

 

NTD: "Lifemate?"

 

[A scene is cut to the backstage which shows Johnny Rotten taping up his fists for his match tonight, as the crowd screams for seeing an IGNWF superstar.]

 

Curry: "Johnny Rotten has been out of action for quite some time, do you think that will affect his performance tonight?"

 

NTD: "What in the hell did you mean by lifemate?!?"

 

Curry: "I concur, on the flip side we have the Prophet who hasn't done much of recent aside from being a thorn in the side."

 

NTD: "Were you implying that we are gay?"

 

Curry: "No... just you."

 

NTD: "WHAT?!?"

 

[A scene is cut away to the backstage area with several members of the Dawg Pound discussing plans, however when they realize a camera is in the room, they push it out the door aggressively.]

 

Curry: "Let's go to Funyon for the ringside introductions."

 

NTD: "Viewers, we are definately not gay!"

 

[Funyon is standing in the center of the ring, and you can see several stars in the front row at the barracades including Pheonix Cardnal's star Jake Plummer, and Shawn Marion from the Pheonix Suns as well as Randy Johnson from the Championship Diamondbacks.]

 

Funyon: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit."

 

[The crowd starts screaming at the sound of Funyon's voice, and several people start running down the aisles to their seats.]

 

Funyon: "Introducing first, the challanger. Weighing in at 260 pounds, and hailing from Naptown."

 

["I..... want to be..... Anarchy!..." comes over the P.A. as the crowd springs to their feet to welcome Johnny Rotten after a long hiatus. Pyro is shooting off from the ramp, and an unusually loud, and bright display goes on. The crowd cheers like wild as Rotten walks out of the curtin, smiling to the fans. His deputy commish star is on his chest, as he saunters out to this exorborant welcome.]

 

Funyon: "Johhhhhnnnnnyyy Rotttttttteeennnnn"

 

[Rotten continues down slapping some fans hands, as he reaches the ring, and lifts himself up into it.]

 

Curry: "Rotten looks ready for the match, but I am rather amazed at this homecoming for him. Stubby really rubbed off on him during his commish stay."

 

NTD: "Just wait until those two get in the same room together, Rotten will be suprised."

 

[On that note, the arena blacks out entirely, with several of the fans in attendance screaming at the top of their lungs.]

 

Funyon: "And his..."

 

[The arena lights drop out and the arena begins to chill... a fine mist begins bellowing out of the stage area, lit from behind by a blood red spotlight... then, out of nowhere, an awfully familiar voice comes out of the loudspeaker...

 

"The Enlightenment is Here..."

 

All of a sudden, a MASSIVE explosion engulfs the arena and multiple shades of red kick up around the stage area and "By Myself", by Linkin Park, kicks up over the loudspeakers! The crowd instantly rises to their feet and boos the radical that is soon to enter the ring... Then, the music seems to pick up even more...

 

"I can't hold on... (to what I want when I'm stretched so thin...)"

"It's all too much to take in..."

"I can't hold on... (to anything watching everything spin...)"

"With thoughts of failure sinking in...

 

All of a sudden, The Prophet emerges from the backstage and the crowd starts to irrelevantly boo as the Prophet has almost no heat.]

 

Funyon: "The Prophet...."

 

[He begins his slow, methodical walk to the ring with his head and eyes down towards the ground. What seems like a frail, unhealthy little man transverses the ramp and finally reaches the ring... He steps inside, drops off his robe and kicks it to the side...]

 

Curry: "The Prophet looks ready to squash any hopes for a comeback. The speed, and cunning of The Prophet might be too much for someone who has been out for so long."

 

NTD: "Rotten was the hardcore champion for a long time, it will be intresting to see what kind of punishment he will take."

 

The referee signals for the bell, and the match has begun with Rotten wasting little time throwing a knee lift into the back of The Prophet as he turned to hand his rope to the attendant. The crowd pops for the fast start, as Rotten irish whips The man who stole Stubby's wife, and on the rebound lands a spinning heel kick which echos around the stadium as the crowd lets out an "ooooohhhhhh." The Prophet holds his head in a bit of a daze, as Rotten attempts a leg drop which is avoided with a tumble, and an immediate elbow into the back of Rotten's head, followed by quick kicks. Rotten gets to a knee, as The Prophet locks on a quick head lock, into an hammerlock, and then a quick drop toe hold.

 

Curry: "Rotten isn't showing much ring rust, but he has yet to ever fight anyone with the sheer speed of the Prophet."

 

NTD: "Well, most people have never seen someone as quick, but remember, Rotten defeated Fallout for the hardcore title a year ago, and he is used to fighting cruisherweights."

 

Curry: "Why are you defending Rotten?"

 

NTD: "I love his finisher, the Shattered Dreams."

 

From the drop toe hold, the Prophet spins around, jumping back into a headlock.... and starts to crank it as Rotten stands to his feet as The Prophet dangles.... until he flips behind Rotten into a sunset flip for the pin. The ref drops..

 

1.....

 

Kickout, but the Prophet immediately rolls Rotten up again.

 

1.....

 

And another Kickout, but the Prophet will not give up, as Rotten stands, he locks on a small package.

 

1.....

 

And another kickout, with The Prophet standing, and running into a stiff clothesline by Rotten which takes him down hard, causeing the crowd to clap from the speed of the last few moves. Rotten looks to grab on to the mask of the Prophet, but using his speed once more, he attempts a school boy.

 

1.....

2.....

 

Kickout by Rotten, and this time, Rotten just smothers the Prophet into the corner, trying to counter some of his speed. Several large elbows into the Prophet's head, followed by a knee lift, and then a couple strikes to the midsection leaves the Prophet hanging from the corner by his arms. Rotten starts to lock each of the Prophet's legs into the corner for the Shattered Dreams, but Prophet is way too vital, and struggles to pop up to the turnbuckle, and hits a quick tornado ddt, as Rotten slides across the ring from the momentum.

 

NTD: "Rotten almost had The Prophet in the Shattered Dreams, and yet he slipped out in just the nick of time."

 

Curry: "Do you even know what a "nick of time" is?"

 

NTD: "What? Like a second, right? Why are you all over me today?"

 

Curry: ".....Well.. Usually you're a moron, but maybe there is another side of you."

 

NTD: "Maybe.."

 

Rotten starts to stand as the Prophet spings to his feet, and hits the ropes quickly. Rotten hits the floor to avoid the Prophet, as he crosses, on the rebound Rotten catches an incoming Prophet from a cross body block. Rotten carries him a few steps before dropping him down hard in a powerslam which rocks the ring. Johnny punches away at the head of the Prophet with multiple blows, and then pulls on his mask to bring him to his feet, and thrusts him into a standing head scissors. Locking each of his arms underneath him, to the crowds approval, he lifts The Prophet up and hits a Pyramid Driver causing the crowd to roar out.

 

Curry: "The Pyramid Driver, we haven't seen that in so long..."

 

NTD: "And probably for the better, but you know what comes next."

 

Again, Johnny Rotten lifts Outcast to his feet, and whips him into the corner. Johnny Rotten storms in and stops just before reaching Outcast, and starts locking the legs into the corner to the crowd's approval, and the referee starts to protest, but to no heed from Rotten as he continues with the last leg, and pushes the referee out of the way, as he backs up, and starts to pump up the crowd.

 

NTD: "Here it comes!"

 

Curry: "He'll be disqualified!"

 

Rotten starts running, and hits the Shattered Dreams on the Prophet, as the referee signals for the bell to be rung. The crowd is going crazy for Rotten as The Prophet wiggles in pain before falling out of the lockup, and hitting the mat.

 

Funyon: "Your winner via DQ, The Prophet!"

 

However, Rotten's music hits, "I.... want to be.... an Anarchist.... I get.. pissed...." Rotten rolls out of the ring, as the crowd continues to applaud. The Prophet is obviously in pain, and showing it on the mat.

 

NTD: "Now that's what I call a match."

 

Curry: "Rotten comes back in his return match, and loses... but not without taking out the man who stole Stubby's wife."

 

NTD: "And hitting the Shattered Dreams."

 

Curry: "We have several matches still to come, including Thoth & Fallout vs. Sacred & Hville Thugg. Stay tuned to the SWF."

 

The camera pans around the crowd, and then stops at Rotten continuing to exit.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

The commercials are over, and it?s back to live SWF action with our commentators, NTD and Curry!!  Take it away fellas.

 

(NTD) ? Who are you??

 

I?m the narrator, duh.

 

(NTD) ? The what?  I don?t understand?

 

(Curry) ? It?s real simple you numb-nut.  He?s the guy that makes sure everyone at home can see what we?re commenting on.

 

Well, actually, it?s mainly for the readers.  This way, they can follow along in the match and you two lazy bitches don?t have to describe every minute detail.

 

(NTD) ? Ohhhhhh!  Well, thanks?I guess.

 

(Curry) ? Yeah, uhh?Thank you narrator-type guy.  Anyway, welcome back ladies and gentlemen to this edition of SWF Storm.  It?s already been a spectacular night, with plenty more to come as we pick up the pieces following an earth-shattering PPV last Sunday night.

 

(NTD) ? That was a historical night indeed.  Some very interesting developments, but none bigger than this!

 

The live feed from the America West Arena cuts to footage of Sunday?s main event action.

 

 

(NTD) - XCEPTION!!!  XCEPTION!!!

 

(Curry) - XSTASY WITH THE XCEPTION!!!  THUGG IS DOWN, AND OUT!!!    WHAT A COUNTER BY XSTASY!!!

 

.

.

.

 

The fans count to five before exploding into an eruption of cheers.  The camera pans up to the entrance ramp to see????STUBBY P. MCWEED!!

 

(Curry) - IT?S STUBBY!!!  IT?S COMMISSIONER STUBBY MCWEED!!!

 

(NTD) - JUSTICE!!  STUBBY?LL FIX EVERYTHING!!

 

.

.

.

 

(Curry) - STUBBY JUST PUT ON THE REFEREE?S SHIRT!!  STUBBY?S THE REFEREE!!!  ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD!!

 

(NTD) - Can he do that?

 

(Curry) - HE?S THE DAMN COMMISSIONER, HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS!  AND FINALLY SOME JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE HVILLE THUGG!!

 

.

.

.

 

Xstasy brings his hands together in a ?X?, and then leaps off backwards off the turnbuckle.  He flies through thousands of flashbulbs, flips forward, and lands back first onto the Hville Thugg!!!!!

 

 

(Curry) - THERE IT IS!!  THERE IT IS!!  THE XSTATIC!!  THE HVILLE THUGG?S CAREER IS OVER!  HIS TITLE REIGN IS OVER!!

 

(NTD) - I CAN?T BELIEVE IT!!  XSTASY IS THE NEW CHAMPION, AND THE HVILLE THUGG?S CAREER IS OVER IN THE SWF?ALL THANKS TO THE COMMISSIONER, STUBBY P. MCWEED!

 

Xstasy holds his back as he turns over and covers the Hville Thugg, for the last time ever!!  The fans cheer as McWeed drops down to make the cover?

 

(Curry) - And here?s the count!!

 

ONE!!

 

(Curry) - YES!!  Finally, someone has put that sick son of a bitch in his place!

 

TWO!!

 

(NTD) - IT?S ALL OVER!!  IT?S OVER!!!

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEE???NO!!!

 

(Curry) - WAIT!!  WAIT ONE GODDAMN SECOND!!  I CAN?T BELIEVE IT!!

 

What Curry can?t believe is the unthinkable?STUBBY STOPPED JUST BEFORE HIS HAND HITS THE CANVAS FOR THREE!!!

 

(NTD) - What the?

 

(Curry) - STUBBY STOPPED!!  WHY??  WHY DIDN?T HE COUNT THE THREE!!!  THUGG DIDN?T KICK OUT?HIS FEET AREN?T ON THE ROPES!!  WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

 

Inside the ring, Stubby looks into Xstasy?s hurt eyes, a smile etched on his face.  Xstasy jumps up in disbelief, and Stubby gets up as well.  Xstasy just looks at Stubby with pain in his face, yet confused as well.  Then, out of no where, the fans erupt into boos as Stubby kicks Xstasy in the stomach, doubling him, and then?

 

(Curry) - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  GODDAMMIT NO!!

 

?slams Xstasy?s head to the canvas with a bone crushing, brain rattling, heartbreaking Paranoid Freakout!!!

 

(NTD) - DID HE JUST??  NO, HE DIDN?T?

 

(Curry) - YES HE DID!  STUBBY MCWEED JUST HIT XSTASY WITH THE PARANOID FREAKOUT!!!  I CAN?T BELIEVE IT!  WHY WOULD HE DO SUCH A THING??

 

Stubby smiles as he looks down on the fallen Drug, but then swiftly drops down as HVT drapes his near dead arm onto Xstasy?s lifeless body.

 

(Curry) - THIS CAN?T BE!!  IT CAN?T BE!!

 

ONE!!

 

(Curry) - NO!!  NOT LIKE THIS!!!  I?

 

TWO!

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE??

 

(Curry) - NOOOOOOOO!!!  MARK STEVENS!!  MARK STEVENS GRABS STUBBY!!!  MARK STEVENS SAVES THE DAY!!!

 

.

.

.

 

(Curry) - NOOOOOO!!!  NOT STEVENS TOO!!!  DEAR LORD!!  WHAT THE FUCK HAS GOTTEN INTO STUBBY MCWEED!!

 

? A DEVASTATING PARANOID FREAKOUT!!!

 

(Curry) - NTD??

 

(NTD) - I?m speechless Curry!  I can?t believe what I?m seeing.

 

(Curry) - I never thought I?d see the day?OH MY GOD!!!

 

.

.

.

 

HVT, holding Xstasy with a one-handed choke, lifts the Perfect Drug into the air, spins around, and drives Xstasy?s helpless body to the mat with a spinning chokeslam!!!

 

(NTD) - Even I believe this is wrong!!  This is just wrong!!

 

(Curry) - I?I?I just can?t believe it!!  I can?t believe Thugg?s gonna win like this!

 

HVT topples over, nearly dead, onto Xstasy for the cover.  Stubby slides quickly into the ring, and then, with the quickest count in the history of the fed?

 

ONE!  TWO!  THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

 

(Curry) - NO!!!  THIS IS WRONG!!  THIS IS WRONG!!!

 

Stubby angrily calls for the bell, which, for fear of losing his job, is rung by the timekeeper.

 

DING DING DING

 

The fans are completely beside themselves with hatred and shock as Stubby grabs HVT and pulls the dead champion up to his feet.

 

 

(NTD) ? I tell you, I?m still in shock from that.

 

(Curry) ? You said it NTD.  I never thought I?d see the day when our beloved commish would join forces with that despicable man and his group of over grown bullies.  I honestly thought that Stubby had it in for Thugg after what he did to Xstasy, but it seems it was all a ruse.  

 

The arena darkens and an eerie silence falls over the arena.

 

(NTD) ? What?s this?

 

(Curry) ? I don?t know.  We don?t have anything slated for this time slot, which is why we?ve been here running our damn mouths like idiots.

 

(NTD) ? Let?s listen to that narrator guy.  I bet he?ll tell us what?s going on.

 

A sadistic laugh echoes through the near silent arena, and the opening electric guitar begins to play.  It is at this moment that entire arena explodes into boos and jeers and curses as they may never forget the music of the most hated man in the industry.

 

(Curry) ? Oh dear lord?

 

(NTD) ? Speak of the devil himself.  Here comes your favorite world champion?

 

(Curry) ? Yeah, watch me jump for joy.

 

?They don?t know?

?Who we be?

 

?They don?t know?

?Who we be?

 

?What they don?t know is??

 

BOOM!

 

?Who We Be? by DMX blares over the sounds of pure hatred being spewed from the crowd as HVT steps to the forefront of the wall of fire that has erupted on the stage.  HVT walks slowly to the ring, pulls himself to the apron, and steps over the top rope into the ring.   He removes his world title belt from his left shoulder as he receives a mic from an attendant on the far side of the ring.

 

(HVT) ? Yo?

 

BOOO!!!

 

The fans cut off Thugg with an eruption of boos followed by a chant of ?Fuck The Thugg!?  HVT just grins before trying again?

 

(HVT) ? Yall really thought it was over, didn?t ya?

 

More boos from the crowd as HVT starts to laugh.

 

(HVT) ? I mean, I always thought yall was stupid as hell, but damn?yall actually thought it was over.

 

(Curry) ? What the hell is he talking about now??

 

(HVT) ? You truly thought you could get rid of me?  You thought I was gonna be run outta here by some pretty boy bitch and Mark McGwire wanna-be pussy?  Come on!

 

?BOOOO!?

 

?YOU SUCK!  YOU SUCK!?

 

(HVT) ? Yo, say what you want, for real.  Cuz, dis nigga right here?ain?t goin a mutha fuckin? place!  That?s right bitches?I ain?t goin? no where.  Haven?t you learned?you can?t stop me.  No one can stop me.  I?m the Hville-mutha-fuckin-Thugg?I run this shit!  Yall bamas can hate if ya want?but the truth is that can?t nobody touch me.  No one!  I ran that little bitch Xstasy outta here for good, and Mark ?I think I?m in the major leagues? Stevens can?t fuckin? beat me.  Axis couldn?t see me, so I retired his sorry ass.  And El Luchadore homosexual can?t fuck wit me?what I beat dat pussy like 5 times, didn?t I?  Yall brought back Pimp Daddy Bitch, and what his ass get?  A ass whoopin?, just like the rest.  Don?t yall get it?you can?t get rid of me.  I?m here to stay mutha fuckas!!

 

(Curry) ? Oh dear?is he gloating??

 

(NTD) ? By god, I think he is.

 

(Curry) ? Oh?it?s funny, though, how he?s failed to mention how he beat those people.  He?s the biggest, strongest, most powerful person in the federation, yet he?s yet to actually beat anyone.

 

(NTD) ? I?m sorry, are alluding to something?

 

(Curry) ? I?m saying that the man has cheated in some way or another to win every single match he?s had.  Yet he still comes out here and gloats?

 

(HVT) ? And now that I?ve proven that can?t nobody in the fed fuck wit me, it?s ?bout time yall bamas start recognizin?.  I run this fed?this is my shit!  Don?t shit go down unless I want it to?that?s right?me!  It?s Da Pound baby?fo? life in dis bitch.  Can?t nobody fuck wit us?and sure as hell, can?t nobody stop us.  We roll deep and stomp niggas fo? fun.  So remember dat shit fo? now on?remember dat Da Pound?s the only crew in this bitch.  And all you pussy ass bitches that wanna step up, remember that this is our shit!  You step outta line, and we will?WRECK YO SHIT!!

 

 

?So says the Clan??

 

 

?is projected onto the SmarkTron.

 

(Curry) ? Wait a second!  I think there?s someone that disagrees with Thugg.

 

Metallica?s ?Leper Messiah? thunders from the loudspeakers as the fans are unsure whether to cheer or boo.  The main guitar riff kicks in, marking the arrival of Spider Nekura at the entranceway, clad in the Clan?s black, hooded robes.

 

(NTD) ? It?s Spider!  Spider Nekura!  Leader of The Clan!!

 

(Curry) ? But what in the hell does he want down here???

 

His head is down but his hate-filled eyes, barely visible behind his thick black hair, are transfixed to the ring. Spider?s arms are outstretched in his ?scarecrow? pose, and when he pulls them down, he exposes the microphone in his hand.

 

(NTD) ? Well, he?s got a mic, so I?m sure he?s about to tell us.

 

(Spider) ? Now, now Mr. Thugg.  Haven?t you learned that there?s a time to speak, and then there?s a time to listen.  I would?ve thought you had learned that by now, given how many times your big mouth?s gotten you into trouble.

 

(HVT) ? Yo?what the fuck you want?  Don?t be coming down here and interruptin? my shit bitch.  I will come up there and WRECK?

 

(Spider) ? Oh come on Mr. Thugg.  There?s no need for such hostile words.  Again, you?re speaking when you should be listening.

 

(HVT) ? Listening to what?  You?re satanic rituals and virgin sacrifices?

 

Spider chuckles as he shakes his head.

 

(Spider) ? Some things never change Mr. Thugg.  You?re still the ill-tempered hot head that I watched from over in the ML.  Yes, I watched you, and at first, I thought you?d make a good addition to my group when the chance came.  Let?s face it Mr. Thugg.  There?s no denying that you are the most dominant man in this fed?you?re 7?2? and 450 pounds of pure power.  But even a man such as yourself has to know that every giant has a weakness.  Even Goliath had a weakness?even Achillies, the man dipped into the River Styx who seemed to be invincible had a weakness.

 

(Curry) ? Ok, now what is HE talking about?  I wish these guys would take their little philosophical lesson backstage and let us get some wrestling on in here.

 

(Spider) ? And you, my friend, have a weakness as well.  You see, while you can beat up everyone and intimidate just about anyone you meet, you still lack the control that I had hoped you would develop over time.  And it is this lack of control, Mr. Thugg, that shall lead to your demise.

 

HVT, apparently, has had enough as he steps over the ropes, ramp-side, and looks to be making a beeline for Spider.  Spider, however, stops him with his unwavering, calm voice.

(Spider) ? And there it is?very predictable.  I know the rage burns inside you?makes you want to run up here and rip me limb from limb.  But I say this to you Mr. Thugg?control your rage?control it the best you can, because it will be your downfall sir.

 

(Curry) ? And there goes Thugg!!  He?s not taking the advice of Spider Nekura?he wants a piece and he?s gonna get it?right now!

 

HVT breaks into a run, heading straight for Spider, who simply stands there with his arms folded under his Clan robe.  The rage blinds Thugg from noticing the oddness of the situation, so he continues at Spider until he is nearly upon him.  Once close, HVT puts his head down, looking to tackle Spider to the ground, but also, blinding him from this?

 

CRACK!

 

?a chair shot to the head from another man dressed in Clan black.

 

(Curry) ? Holy shit!  Who?s that?damn I hate these Clan robes.  I can?t see his face.

 

(NTD) ? I suspect that?s the point bro.

 

The shot to the head leaves HVT face down on the steel stage as Spider and his hooded friend stand over the fallen champ.

 

(Spider) ? I warned you Mr. Thugg.  I?d like you to meet one of my disciples?my loyal subject?the man who, with my guidance, is going to teach you some control.

 

The hooded man pulls back his hood, revealing himself????FALLOUT!

 

(Curry) ? It?s Fallout!!!  Fallout has just creamed the World Champion, Hville Thugg with a steel chair!!

 

(NTD) ? Oh, he?s asking for it!

 

(Spider) ? Mr. Thugg, this is just the first lesson.  Take heed?my loyal son, Fallout, will show you the way.  He will expose your weakness and make you pay for it with pain.  And then, Mr. Thugg, you will see how virtuous control can be.  Remember how you feel right at this moment.  Know that it was your rage that brought you here, and know that it will only get worse?So says the Clan.?

 

Spider and Fallout leave HVT lying on the stage when they exit back through the curtain.  The fans are left, some what stunned, not sure exactly what to think.

 

(Curry) ? What an exchange there.  Kind of cryptic, but Spider and Fallout just sent a message to the Hville Thugg!  But what will that bring later tonight when Fallout, along with Thoth, have to step into the ring with Thugg and Sacred?  We?ll just have to wait and find out?

[Guest BA_Baracus]

Storm fades back in from commercial, giving the viewers at home a lovely shot of the inside of the America West Arena, with the SmarkTron right in the center. Suddenly, a Mexican voice shouts out, “UNO! DOS! TRES! CUATRO!” over the Arena’s speakers, with a burst of pyro from each turnbuckle accompanying each word. The crowd immediately bursts into cheers as the chorus of “Mission Trip to Mexico” blasts over the PA, signifying the entrance of El Luchadore Magnifico. The man himself bursts out from behind the curtain, with the LHW Title in one arm and his Mexican Flag in the other. With a big smile on his face, he pauses at the top of the ramp and slowly lifts both arms into the air, drawing another pop from the excited crowd.

 

Funyon: The following is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at 190 Pounds, he is the SWF Light Heavyweight Champion...El Luchadooooooorre Magnificoooooooooo!!

 

Magnifico quickly makes his way down the ramp and slides beneath the bottom rope into the ring. Once there, he drops his Mexican Flag, pops to his feet, and hops onto the nearby second turnbuckle, where he thrusts the Title into the air repeatedly and drawing the light from thousands of flashbulbs upon him. After a few seconds, Magnifico hops off, picks up his flag, and hands both it and the title to the ref for safekeeping.

 

Curry: Welcome back to SWF Storm, everyone! In case you’re just joining us, we’ve reached our second match of the evening, pitting El Luchadore Magnifico against Lady Red! Magnifico is coming off of Battleground retaining his Light Heavyweight Title, but losing the #1 Contendership to the World Title to Fallout, while Lady Red competed, and lost, in a Three-Way Match for the US Title in her first SWF appearance.

 

NTD: Great, two losers fighting. This’ll be fantastic.

 

As Magnifico begins preparing for his match, the arena’s lights are suddenly cut out as two red spotlights converge on the entrance ramp. The SmarkTron shows a stylized image of two upturned teardrop shapes, black, on a white background. A synthesized low, dragging note resonates as the image turns white, the teardrops now blood red and dripping, as if liquid. The theme to 'A Clockwork Orange' plays, an electronic funeral march, as the enshrouded Lady Red slowly walks out in time to the music, clad in her kimono and hooded. The fans begin to boo the deadly women as she slowly makes her way down the ramp.

 

Funyon: And now, from Tokyo, Japan, weighing in at 140 Pounds...Laaaaaaaaady Rrrrrrred!!

 

She finally reaches the ring, climbs up onto the apron, steps in between the ropes and walks into the center of the ring. Once there, she sheds her Kimono and thrusts it over to the referee, keeping her piercing eyes on Magnifico at all times. Magnifico stops his preparing and turns towards Red as the ref signals for the bell.

 

DING DING DING

 

Curry: This is definitely a great opportunity for Lady Red to make a name for herself. Defeating one of the best Light Heavyweight Champions we’ve ever had will certainly help her career.

 

NTD: Maybe “one of the best”, but certainly not THE best. THE best gave Magnifico a royal beating at Battleground, and probably shattered Magnifico’s ego! He doesn’t have a chance against this sexy, sexy lady.

 

Once the bell rings, Magnifico begins walking around Red, slowly approaching her as she stands in the center of the ring, motionless. But when Magnifico comes within a few feet of her, she suddenly lifts her leg and lashes out with a Roundhouse Kick, missing the luchadore’s head by mere inches! ELM takes a step back, obviously surprised by the kick, but then a grin comes over his face as his eyes meet with Red’s, whose mouth curves into a small, devious smile. Magnifico steps towards her, and the two lock up, pushing each other around the ring and struggling for control. The luchadore takes control by slapping on a Side Headlock, but Red quickly counters by pushing him off of her and into the ropes. Magnifico bounces off and charges back towards Red, knocking her to the mat with a Shoulder Block. While she’s on her back, ELM runs towards the closest ropes and bounces off, but Red rolls towards him, forcing Magnifico to jumps over her and head towards the opposite ropes as she jumps to her feet. As ELM comes off of the ropes, Red charges towards him and thrusts her hand out, driving it straight into Magnifico’s throat! He suddenly doubles over, holding his throat and coughing, giving Red a chance to run towards the ropes behind Magnifico, bounce off, and rush back towards him. She grabs Magnifico in a Headlock from behind as she runs, looking to land a Bulldog, but the luchadore gives her a hard push from the back before she can land it, sending her front first into the ropes! Red bounces off of the ropes and stumbles backwards towards Magnifico, and as she approaches, Magnifico sticks his head beneath her arm and grabs her by the waist, then lifts her up into the air for a Back Drop! However, Red manages to escape Magnifico’s grip as she flips backwards in mid-air, landing on her feet right behind the luchadore! As soon as she’s on her feet, Red crouches down and sweeps her leg outwards, looking to land a Sweep Kick and knock Magnifico off his feet! However, ELM hops into the air, avoiding the kick, and turns to face Red just as she returns to a standing position. Both competitors, tensed up and ready for whatever the other could throw at them, stand in the center of the ring staring at each other as appreciative applause comes from the audience.

 

Curry: Nice sequence to begin this match. It appears that Red will be another great competitor from the Clan for Magnifico.

 

NTD: And another one to LOSE to! Hah! Where do I come up with these gems?

 

After a few seconds of staring each other down, Red and ELM begin to circle each other, coming closer and closer until within arm’s reach of another. Magnifico attempts a lock up, but Red catches him with a quick knee to the gut, doubling him over, and then hits a sharp kick to his face, snapping him back upwards. With ELM momentarily dazed, Red grabs him by the arm and attempts a whip, only to have it reversed and be sent running into the far ropes. Red bounces off and rushes back towards Magnifico, and as she approaches, the luchadore leaps straight up into the air for a Hurricanrana! However, Red ducks beneath Magnifico’s outstretched legs and keeps on running, hitting the ropes behind Magnifico as he hits his feet and turns around. As she comes off of the ropes, Red leaps into the air and flies towards Magnifico with her arm outstretched, looking to connect with a Flying Clothesline! But Magnifico quickly falls to the mat, leaving Red to soar right over his head! However, the Lady hits the mat rolling, quickly popping back to her feet and turning back towards Magnifico. But the luchadore was ready and waiting for her, and greets Miss Red by rearing his arm back and driving it into her chest with a Knife-Edge chop! A loud SMACK! emanates off of Red’s chest, drawing a WHOOO! out of the obedient crowd as Magnifico rears back and delivers another Knife-Edge Chop! Another SMACK! echoes throughout the arena, another WHOOO! is yelled in response, and Magnifico grabs Red by her arm and whips her into the corner. Before the Lady can even land in the corner, Magnifico charges after her, hoping to take Red by surprise. It doesn’t work, however, as Annie hops onto the second turnbuckle before crashing into the corner, and then whips her foot backwards into Magnifico, who was right behind her, smashing it straight into his face and knocking him to the ground with a brutal Back Kick! With the luchadore laying on the mat and disoriented from the kick, Red turns to face her opponent and suddenly jumps off of the second turnbuckle, her elbow outstretched for an Elbow Drop! Miss Red makes perfect contact with the aerial maneuver, driving the elbow straight into Magnifico’s heart! Holding his chest, the luchadore painfully attempts to roll onto his stomach, but the Lady grabs him before he has the chance, turns him onto his back, and makes the cover. She hooks the leg, drawing boos from the crowd and the ref down to the mat...

 

ONE...

 

TWO...No! Magnifico kicks out after two. Undaunted, Red grabs Magnifico by the hair and slowly stands up, dragging the luchadore to his feet with him.

 

Curry: Amazing speed from Lady Red! There aren’t many people who can match Magnifico in speed, but Miss Red certainly seems to be one of them.

 

NTD: Yeah, and isn’t her makeup just wonderful? I’ve got to find out what she uses.

 

Still gripping onto Magnifico’s hair, Red delivers a quick shot to his face, knocking him back a few steps into the ropes. With the luchadore leaning up against the ropes, Miss Red jumps into the air and kicks her feet out, driving them straight into Magnifico’s mouth with a Drop Kiss! The force of the Dropkick sends ELM tumbling backwards over the top rope and crashing to the floor, drawing plenty of OHHH!s and a few boos from the crowd as the Lady steps out onto the apron above Magnifico and waits there for him to get to his feet. The luchadore does so very slowly, struggling to his feet and standing up facing away from Miss Red. Unaware of the Lady’s presence, Magnifico slowly turns around, which Red takes as a cue to leap off of the apron and soar towards her opponent, extending her arms and legs in mid-air for a Flying Cross Body! Red makes near-perfect chest-to-chest contact with the maneuver, knocking Magnifico back to the ground but then falling to the floor herself. As Miss Red recuperates from the fall, the ref begins to count both her and Magnifico out. The Lady reaches her feet after a few seconds, then makes her way back over to Magnifico, grabs him by the arm, and slowly pulls him to his feet. Still gripping ELM’s arm, Miss Red stands side-to-side with him and hooks her left leg around his right. She then takes a few steps backwards towards the guardrail, and with Magnifico tied up, suddenly throws her body backwards for a Side Russian Leg Sweep! Both competitors are thrown straight into the guardrail, but Magnifico takes the brunt of the punishment and slowly crumples to the floor as the Lady lets go of him and tries to shake off her own pain received from the maneuver. It only takes her a second or two, and she manages to get herself back into the ring at the ref’s four count, leaving Magnifico outside and in danger of being counted out.

 

Curry: Ouch! Great maneuver from Miss Red, and that might be enough to keep Magnifico on the outside for the ten count.

 

NTD: For his sake, I hope so! Lady Red hasn’t even begun to show him her Super Assassin Powers O’ DOOM! WHAAAAAAAA!!

 

Red stands inside the ring with her back to her opponent and her eyes closed, while the ref reaches 6 in his count. At about this time, Magnifico stirs and begins struggling to his feet, cheered on by the crowd who don’t feel like getting screwed out of a good match. Magnifico is on his knees on 7, his feet at 8, and manages to roll into the ring at 9, drawing a decent pop from the crowd. When he does so, Lady Red’s eyes fly open and she turns around to face the luchadore, who is trying to get to his feet before Miss Red notices him. Obviously, it doesn’t work, as the Lady catches him at one knee, grabbing him by his arm and pulling him the rest of the way to his feet. From there, she immediately pulls Magnifico into a Suplex position, then lifts the luchadore up into the air and holds him there for a Stalling Suplex! In a surprising show of strength, Lady Red holds Magnifico up for several seconds, until the luchadore suddenly twists out of her grip and lands on his feet behind Miss Red! As soon as he lands, the Lady suddenly spins around and lashes out with her arm, but Magnifico ducks right beneath it, then grabs her other arm and quickly locks it into a Chickenwing! While holding the Chickenwing, Magnifico grabs Red around the head, pulls her close, and drops to his knees, driving her chin straight into her shoulder with a Montezuma’s Revenge! The oddly named maneuver wakes up the crowd and motivates them to cheer as Red figuratively springs backwards off of Magnifico’s shoulder and falls to the mat. ELM quickly covers her, hooking the leg as the ref slides into position and begins counting...

 

ONE...

 

TWO...No! Red gets her shoulder up at two and a half, promptly ending the cheers.

 

NTD: C’mon Red, don’t bother selling for that crappy move! It makes you look bad!

 

Curry: Selling? What on Earth are you talking about?

 

NTD: Um, nothing. Nothing at all.

 

Magnifico rolls off of Red and slowly stands up, giving her a few stomps before grabbing her by the arm and pulling her up to her feet. Using his grip, he whips her towards the far ropes, then steps into the center of the ring. Red bounces off of the ropes, and as she comes back towards him, he bends over for a Back Body Drop. However, Red sees him a little too early, and counters by stopping herself and delivering a brutal kick to Magnifico’s face, quickly snapping him up straight! Miss Red immediately follows it up with a quick combo of jabs and hooks to the luchadore’s body, then suddenly bolts for the ropes behind him while he is dazed from the quick combination. Red bounces off of the ropes and rushes back towards the luchadore, and as she approaches, she wraps her arms around his head with a Reverse Headlock, runs a few steps, and then leaps into the air! Upon Lady’s landing on the mat, Magnifico’s face is driven straight into the mat, having been the victim of a Lady Red Bulldog! The luchadore lays face-down on the mat, barely moving, as Miss Red quickly stands back up and, without hesitating for a second, makes her way over to the corner nearest Magnifico and begins climbing it. The fans who followed the JL know exactly what’s coming up next, and begin to boo her vehemently as she approaches the top rope.

 

Curry: It appears that Lady Red is setting up for one of her finishers, the Death Knell! It’s risky, but the match is almost certainly over if she lands it!

 

NTD: There’s no if about it, Curry! Magnifico will never see this coming!

 

Miss Red quickly reaches the top rope, standing on the highest turnbuckle and facing towards the fans. She looks over the crowd for a second, completely expressionless, then stands up straight on the top turnbuckle and crosses her arms over her chest. After remaining still for a second, she slowly leans backwards, falling off of the turnbuckle with the back of her head aimed directly at Magnifico’s! Thousands of flashbulbs go off, lighting up the scene as Magnifico rolls out of the way, leaving Miss Red to land directly on her neck! A loud pop rises from the crowd as the Lady grabs her neck and writhes around on the mat while Magnifico lays next to her and begins to slowly struggle to his feet.

 

Curry: Miss Red just missed! If Magnifico had moved a half-second later, he would be out like a light!

 

ELM slowly pushes himself to his feet, standing up while Miss Red remains on the mat. He slowly walks over to her, grabs her by the arm and pulls the lady to her feet. He then gets behind Miss Red, sticks his head under her arm, grabs her around the waist, and lifts her up into the air for a Blue Thunder Powerbomb! However, when Magnifico twirls her around in mid-air to complete the move, Red suddenly hooks her legs around the luchadore’s head and pulls him down to the mat with a Hurricanrana! After landing the move, Miss Red sits on ELM’s shoulders and grabs his legs, completing the Hurricanrana Pin and drawing the ref down to the mat to count!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...No! Magnifico escapes at two and a half, rolling backwards off of the pin and jumping to his feet. Red gets back to her feet nearly as quickly, but not before Magnifico can charge towards her and attempt a Clothesline! However, Miss Red ducks beneath the arm and stops herself, turning towards the luchadore the same time she turns towards him. The Lady jumps towards Magnifico sideways, looking to land a High Spin Kick, but ELM rolls beneath his leg and pops up behind her. As she turns around, Magnifico sidesteps towards her and throws his foot into the air, about to land a Superkick on Miss Red! But right before Magnifico’s foot makes contact with her face, The Lady grabs the ref and pulls him right in front of her, forcing him to take the entire impact of the Superkick! The poor ref snaps backwards to the mat, immediately knocked out by the Superkick as boos pour in from every corner of the crowd. Lady Red tries to take advantage of the confusion by surprising Magnifico with a quick kick to the gut, doubling him over and allowing to lock the luchadore in a Suplex Position! However, ELM blocks her attempt at a Snap Suplex, then uses his legs to trip her up and send her falling forward to the mat! On the way down, Magnifico reaches out and wraps his arms around her face, locking in a Sangria Stretch as they fall down to the mat! The crowd begins to cheer wildly at the sight of the submission as Miss Red cries out in pain, her neck and back being torn apart by the Stretch!

 

Curry: Magnifico managed to lock in the Sangria Stretch, but the ref is knocked out, thanks to Lady Red!

 

NTD: Oh yeah, sure, Miss Red was the one who Superkicked the referee-

 

Curry: NTD, if you’d quit your senseless babbling for a second, you’d see that someone is running down the ramp!

 

True to Curry’s word, K-Os has suddenly materialized and is quickly heading towards the ring as Miss Red begins to tap the mat wildly, signifying her submission. However, there is no ref to end the match, and Magnifico seems to realize that, as he releases the hold and slowly stands up, facing away from K-Os, who just slid into the ring. K-Os impatiently waits behind the luchadore, itching for him to turn around, and gets his wish as the luchadore unwittingly turns towards him. When he does so, he delivers a stiff kick to Magnifico’s gut, doubling him over, and then applies a Standing Head-Scissors! Undeterred by the boos directed at him, K-Os lifts the luchadore into the air, spins him around, and slams him down to the canvas, destroying him with the Hell Helix! The crowd only becomes angrier when K-Os grabs Miss Red and begins dragging her towards the luchadore, looking to make the cover for her. However, the fans suddenly burst into cheers when they see Jay Dawg jump over the guardrail and slide into the ring! Once K-Os catches sight of him, he hits the mat, rolls out of the ring, and begins running up the entrance ramp! Not missing a beat, JD slides out of the ring and begins chasing him, pursuing the Clannie until both men disappear behind the entrance curtain! However, they leave behind a buzzing crowd and both of the match’s original competitors lying on the mat, unmoving!

 

Curry: JD just chased off K-Os, but not before he could destroy Magnifico with his finisher!

 

NTD: That’s just what that dirty Mexican deserves after knocking out that poor referee!

 

Neither Red nor Magnifico move for a few seconds, as a half-hearted chant starts up in support of the luchadore. However, it seems to work in the opposite, as Miss Red begins to stir and crawl towards Magnifico, collapsing on the luchadore’s chest for the cover! At first, there’s no one to count, but the ref suddenly returns to consciousness at this time and begins to slowly count for the Lady as the crowd boos like crazy!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-Noooo!! Magnifico gets his shoulder up at the last possible millisecond, greatly cheering up the crowd to the point of popping for the luchadore!

 

Curry: No! No! Magnifico escaped just in time, barely surviving K-Os Hell Helix!

 

There is no movement between the competitors for quite a while, until Lady Red slowly rolls off of Magnifico’s body and begins struggling to her feet. Magnifico does the same a few seconds later, but Miss Red is too far in front of her, and slowly stands up while Magnifico is still on one knee. Looking pretty exhausted herself, Miss Red applies a Front Face Lock on the luchadore, then steps backwards towards the nearby corner and steps back onto the second turnbuckle. After pausing a moment, she takes one more step backwards, up to the top turnbuckle, and then leaps off of the top rope, twisting around in mid-air and looking to land a Tornado DDT! However, while Miss Red is in mid-air, Magnifico manages to break out of the Face Lock, leaving the Lady to simply land on her feet! The luchadore then spins around to Miss Red, facing away from her, and reaches back to hook her arms as if for a Backslide! He turns to the corner that Red just jumped off of, then charges towards it and runs up the turnbuckles! The crowd cheers wildly in anticipation as Magnifico springs off of the top turnbuckle, does a Backflip in mid-air, and lands on his knees, driving Annie’s face straight into the mat with the Baja California Crusher!

 

NTD: No! No! Fraud! Someone disqualify that cheater!

 

Curry: Magnifico just hit his finisher! This could be all!

 

After landing the maneuver, Magnifico remains on his knees for a second, not moving until he slowly grabs Miss Red by the shoulder and turns her onto her back. He then falls on/covers Lady Red, motivating the crowd to cheer at its loudest and drawing the still-hurting ref down to the mat for a count...

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEE!! The ref jumps to his feet and signals for the bell as Magnifico rolls off of Miss Red, an exhausted smile on his face.

 

DING DING DING

 

Funyon: Your winner, El Luchadoooooooorre Magnificoooooooo!!

 

“Mission Trip to Mexico” blasts over the speakers once more, mixing well with the cheers of the crowd as Magnifico slowly begins to stand. Once he reaches his feet, the ref pulls his hand into the air, signifying the luchadore’s victory and drawing one more pop from the crowd.

 

Curry: An extremely close contest, but Magnifico ends up as the victor! However, I certainly see things in Annie’s future...if only she wasn’t so evil.

 

NTD: C’mon Curry, that’s what makes her great!

 

Curry: Whatever. Well, stick around folks, because the match we got a preview of a few minutes ago, K-Os vs. Jay Dawg for the US Title, is coming up next!

 

The last image the fans at home see is El Luchadore Magnifico, clutching his gut and heading up the ramp with the LHW Title strung over his shoulder...

[Guest BA_Baracus]

The audience is hot off the heels of the dare devil battle between El Luchadore Magnifico and Lady Red. The camera slowly resonates around the live viewers, many holding signs that show their hate for the Clan and Da Pound. The camera floats itself over to the announce table, getting the close up of the two commentators.

 

Curry: “Welcome back to SWF Storm! Jay Dawg and K-Os were just involved in our last match, where JD chased off the interfering K-Os, and are now about to do battle!”

 

NTD: “This so totally sucks! My two favorite stables seem to have beef with each other!”

 

Curry: “K-Os defeated Jay Dawg for the U.S. title in an extremely controversial fashion just last Sunday, at Battleground. Jay Dawg instantly cashed in on his rematch, and met up with K-Os in a parking lot afterward!”

 

NTD: “Let’s show the footage of Jay Dawg with anger problems!”

 

As NTD mentions it, the images of the screen fill up with Jay Dawg welcoming K-Os to the WF, with a German suplex onto a car.

 

Curry: “A vicious maneuver! K-Os has to still be feeling the effects of that!”

 

3 dim, blue strobe lights start to flash around the ramp, followed by a pair of silver strobes that are pointed directly down into the ring, crisscrossing into the shape of an ‘X’. ..

 

…

 

"WELCOME TO MOTHERFUCKING HELL!!!"

 

…

 

A recorded voice of JD shouts over the speakers. Three seconds later, D12's ‘Fight Music’ cranks over the speakers. The audience goes into a frenzy of shouting. Insults and jeers are the main verbal voices heard. The audience awaits the arrival, and moments later, their wait is proven short. JD walks out through the curtains, pausing moments later at the top of the ramp. The crowd lashes out with their anger, showing sheer hate for anyone in Da Pound. Jay Dawg places his hands on his hips, scanning around the arena. He inhales, sniffing the aroma of all that loathe him. JD finally makes his way to ringside, as Funyon stands inside, ready to earn some of his salary.

 

Funyon: “The following contest is for the Smarks Wrestling Federation United States Championship!! Introducing first, he hails from Vancouver, British Columbia! Standing at six feet, four inches, and weighing in at 250 pounds… he is a member of Da Pound… JAY DAWG!!!”

 

JD has made it to ringside, standing on the top of the steps with his head down. Upon mention of his name, he snaps his head up and shoots both of his arms North. The crowd releases some more of their anger at JD, as he invites the cheap heat, then enter the ring.

 

Curry: “Jay Dawg alone, has a vicious mean streak and many reasons to be hated! However, it is nothing compared to his main dawg, HVille Thugg, who for those who have not seen Battleground, has seemingly aligned with commissioner Stubby. He also may be the reason Xstasy has left the league!”  

 

…CRACK…

 

A crash of thunder echoes around the arena, as Down by STP minus the lyrics blasts from the speakers. Red pyro sprays down from the SmarkTron entrance, the pyro sparks shower all underneath it. K-Os walks through it, his title over his shoulder, his head looking down. On the SmarkTron, flames pulsate with the beat of the music. The spectators about to give him the same treatment as JD, but some actually cheer the U.S. champion! He continues to walk down the ramp, not raising his head an inch.

 

Funyon: “His opponent! He hails from parts unknown… standing at six feet, one inch, weighing in at 259 pounds… The current SWF United States Champion and member of the Clan… KAAAAAAAAAAAAA-OSSSSS!!!”

 

Curry: “K-Os looks to be unharmed. It’s a safe bet that JD didn’t catch him backstage!”

 

Standing before the ring, K-Os quickly looks up as a huge pyro is set off at the entrance, creating a blinding light during which he dives into the ring beneath the bottom rope. JD places his arm over his head, covering his eyes from the bright, illumination flashed before him. Once his eyesight returns, all he sees is the massive python for an arm on K-Os flatten him with a clothesline, that gets a enormous pop from the Bradley center!

 

Curry: “A sneak attack by K-Os! Jay Dawg couldn’t see it coming!”

 

NTD: “Would you listen to these fans! They are actually supporting the Clan! I guess he is the lesser of two evils!”

 

K-Os allows JD to get to his feet, stumbling like a blind man. K-Os locks on a ¾ nelson facelock, and flips him over with a snapmare! K-Os applies a weak headlock, and pummels JD in the face with multiple punches!

 

Curry: “A smart tactic by the current U.S. champion! Pummel and wear down! K-Os will go far in the SWF!”

 

NTD: “K-Os is the only man to win a title on his first SWF match!”

 

K-Os keeps the headlock trapped on, but pulls JD to his feet! K-Os ducks under JD’s legs, scooping the leg up and over, flipping JD with a fireman’s carry! K-Os applies an armbar, as JD struggles to his feet. Slowly thrashing about, JD makes it to his feet, but is bent over due to the applied submission! JD suddenly jerks his body forward, breaking the hold, then mule kicks backward, driving his foot into K-Os stomach. K-Os doubles over, as JD pivots around, locking on a facelock, he spins K-Os for a neckbreaker. However, K-Os keeps spinning, avoiding the neckbreaker and twisting back to his original position, and flips JD over with a release Northern Lights suplex!  

 

Curry: “What a counter by K-Os! An awesome demonstration of his power!”

 

K-Os sits up off the mat, as he grips onto his neck, showing significant pain, which holds him down.

 

Curry: “Uh-oh! That looks to be the effects of that suplex JD pulled last week! K-Os must have reawakened the pain!

 

NTD: “A suplex brings out the pain caused by a suplex! Oh the irony!”

 

K-Os continues to move, although showing obvious favouring to his neck. JD is at his feet, showing signs of exhaustion. K-Os grasps his neck and arm, a collar/elbow tie up. With a surge of adrenaline, JD breaks the grapple, and drives his knee into K-Os ribcage. Once the champion is doubled over, JD clubs his forearm into the back of his neck, K-Os falls flat on the mat!

 

Curry: “Whoa! K-Os dropped quite fast from that shot to the neck! It must seriously be bothering him!”

 

The challenger stands over K-Os, and drops a knee onto the back of his neck! K-Os body twitches, as JD leaves the knee on the neck, pushing hard and cruelly into it. The champion starts to pound his legs into the ground, trying to release some of the pain. Jay Dawg grabs his opponent’s long, greasy hair, and yanks him to his feet. He pulls K-Os into a standing headscissors, wrapping his arms around the champion’s waist.

 

Curry: “JD is going for Who Let the Dawg Out early in the match!”

 

NTD: “I let the Dawg out! Woof, woof, woof!”

 

Curry: “It’s not th…bah! Never mind!”

 

Jay Dawg lifts his head up, scanning the crowd. That brief lapse of concentration of course costs him, as K-Os muscles out, flipping JD with a back body drop! K-Os drops to his knees, as he catches his breath. K-Os returns to his feet a second before JD, pivot around, and sprint forward with a clothesline! JD runs toward K-Os, ducking his clothesline attempt. JD runs to the ropes as K-Os rotates in the ring, bounce back. K-Os looks upward, sees the up coming JD, ducks down, lifts him up, twists around, and drives JD into the mat with a 180 spinebuster! K-Os rolls over, cradling the leg as he makes a tight cover.

 

One…

 

Two…

 

JD kicks out strong!

 

Curry: “That spinebuster must have stunned JD pretty bad!”

 

K-Os slaps the mat with one hand, then pulls JD to his feet. K-Os grabs the back of JD’s neck, but JD ascends from the grip, clawing onto K-Os eyes, he rakes the eyeballs out of the champ! The temporary blindness brings K-Os arms to his face, as he tries to rub away the pain. JD takes advantage of no guarding, and smacks the 250 plus pound monster with a knife-edge chop! K-Os drops the guard over his eyes, but leaves his chest open, inviting JD for another chop, JD obliges, smacking him with another skin breaking chop. “WHOO!!” the viewers get into it, cheering for the chop fest. K-Os responds to the two chops, with one of his own! “WHOO!!” Chop from JD. “WHOO!!” Chop from K-Os. “WHOO!!” JD, “WHOO!!” K-Os, “WHOO!! JD, “WHOO!!” K-Os, “WHOO!!” K-Os again! “WHOO!!” K-Os for the three peat! “WHOO!!” JD falls back into the ropes, his shirt covering the obvious red marks that will be on his chest.

 

Curry: “What a chop fest! The two probably have blood coming out from under their attire!”

 

K-Os grabs JD by the arm, tossing him into the ropes with an Irish whip! JD bounces off the cables, and sees that K-Os foot flying through the air with a superkick, JD ducks the blow, and stops himself right behind the U.S. champion! With his leg still in the air, K-Os turns around. JD grabs the leg, and drapes his arm over K-Os shoulder. Jay Dawg powers K-Os high above his head and over, releasing him with a T-bone suplex! K-Os bounces off the mat by the back of his shoulders, flips to his front, and cradles the back of his neck in instant pain! JD lies on his hands and knees, looking down at his fallen opponent, he advances with a crawl, rolling K-Os up with a half nelson cradle.

 

One…

 

Two…

 

K-Os escapes the pin, but lies back on the mat! JD looks down at K-Os, and wipes his hands away. “That’s it!” he shouts, as he kneels by the fallen champion.

 

Curry: “Jay Dawg might be looking to finish this off!”

 

JD crosses both of K-Os legs together, then places his knee on top of them, holding them in place. He grips onto K-Os right arm, pulling it into a chickenwing set up. JD reaches around the neck, ready to apply the dragon sleeper. WHACK!! K-Os drives that same right elbow into JD’s temple! WHACK!! He does it again! JD shakes his head in pain, letting go of the head, and releasing his hold on the legs. The fans start to cheer on K-Os, as he battles back, throwing two more reverse elbows into the head of JD!

 

Curry: “Listen to the audience! They are actually cheering K-Os over JD!”

 

NTD: “We’ve established that Curry! It’s amazing that JD is so hated all of a sudden!”

 

K-Os pushes himself to his feet, smacking another elbow shot into JD. The challenger starts to stumble backward, as K-Os runs off the ropes! JD snaps awake, leaping to the air, with a bone crunching Thai Roundhouse kick! Ducked! K-Os keeps running off the ropes, JD steps forward, releasing his arm for a clothesline! K-Os ducks the arm, hooks onto it, grips onto JD’s other arm, applies a full nelson, lifts him up, and slam him into the mat with a full nelson slam! K-Os drops to his knees and makes the cover.

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Th…

 

JD bench-presses K-Os off of him and sits straight up!

 

Curry: “Jay Dawg kicks out with authority!”

 

K-Os pounces to his feet, as JD gets up. K-Os thrusts forward, but JD equivocates the move, and applies a rear waistlock! JD elevates the U.S. champion about a foot, before K-Os shifts his weight, and grapevines JD’s leg! The lock in the legs proves to be a useless battle for JD to fight. K-Os is dropped to his feet, and runs for the ropes, waistlock still intact. Once a foot away from the ropes, K-Os drops to his knees, but JD doesn’t stop moving, stepping over top of his adversary, and his motions send him through the ropes and to the outside! The crowd laughs at Jay Dawg’s incompetence.

 

Curry: “What a counter to the German suplex! I’m sure that would have roasted all hope for K-Os!”

 

NTD: “The shock would have definitely knocked him silly!”

 

JD rests on the outside, lying on the mat, trying to catch his breath. K-Os heads to the corner, slowly climbing to the top turnbuckle. The crowd starts to pop for whatever daredevil stunt he is about to pull. JD gets to his hands and knees, prompting K-Os to turn his back to JD. K-Os looks over his shoulder, down at his challenger who makes it to his feet. K-Os finally leaps off the turnbuckle, backflipping in mid air, spreading his arms like an angel as the crowd gasps, and collides with JD via moonsault! The spectators erupt with applause, cheering on the jaw-dropping trick that K-Os pulled out of his hat!  

 

Curry: “Holy Christ! K-Os is going to make sure he keeps that title!”

 

NTD: “I didn’t think a guy with his build could do that!”

 

The two men lie on the outside, both having a lot taken out of them. The ref stands in the ring, looking down, and with regret in his eyes, he starts to count both men out.

 

“One!”

 

“Two!”

 

“Three!”

 

Curry: “The ref looks like he didn’t want to end the battle this way!”

 

NTD: “JD better get in the ring! Because I can assure you that K-Os will not if he doesn’t have to!”

 

“Four!”

 

“Five!”

 

“Six!”

 

K-Os starts to regenerate. He grips the ring apron, using it to pull himself up.  

 

“Seven!”

 

“Eight!”

 

K-Os rolls inside the ring…

 

“Nine!”

 

…and back out again!

 

Curry: “K-Os just broke the count! This battle will keep going!”

 

JD slowly makes it to his hands and knees, but K-Os aides him in rising to his feet. K-Os grips the top of Jay Dawg’s head, and uses it to pull him into a standing headscissors! K-Os hauls JD up to his shoulders, holding a powerbomb set up. He spins JD around in a circle, and dives down, but JD grabs the middle ropes from the outside! K-Os lets out a grunt from the sudden jerk, but embraces JD still on his shoulder.

 

Curry: “K-Os looked to be going for his finisher, the Hell Helix on the outside!”

 

NTD: “What a counter it is! Nevertheless, look at the power of K-Os!”

 

JD holds onto the middle ropes with his left hand, and with his right, he pummels the face of K-Os! Some of the crowd cheer on K-Os, as he continues to hang on, when suddenly, he rips JD away from the middle rope, holding him high in the air! JD has a shocked expression on his face, but it wears off when he sees his predicament. JD begins to hammer K-Os in the facial area once again! K-Os pushes forward, farther, farther, and collapses, with JD on his shoulders!

 

Curry: “K-Os just couldn’t complete it!”

 

NTD: “It’s a wonder if that weakened neck had anything to do with it!”

 

Curry: “It just might have! But also the weight on his shoulders has to have had something to do with it!”

 

JD stands on his feet, bent over, grabbing K-Os by the hair and heaves him to his feet. JD applies a front facelock, leaps high in the air, shifts his body weight over K-Os neck, and forces him face first into the mat outside with the JD DDT! The ref on the inside has started up his second ten count, making it to “Four.”

 

Curry: “Oh no! That has got to be all!”  

 

NTD: “All JD has to do is roll him inside and make the cover, and we got a new U.S. champeen!”

 

JD rests on his hands and knees, looking into the eyes of K-Os, who lay motionless. JD sticks his head under K-OS ribcage, and pulls the man onto his shoulders with a fireman’s carry. He makes it to his feet, and throws the dead weight into the ring. As the ref counts “Seven!” JD slides into the ring, and makes the nonchalant cover.

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

THRE…

 

NO!! K-Os gets his shoulder up, much to the delight of the fans!

 

Curry: “K-Os kicked out of that dangerous DDT! K-Os is not going to give up!”

 

NTD: “I don’t believe it! If only JD got him into the ring a second earlier!”

 

JD arises, completely furious, he holds his hand up, with the middle three fingers up, looking at the ref. The referee tells him it’s only two, and to leave it as it is. JD responds with a freak out, stomping his feet on the mat multiple times, before he pulls K-Os up and into a standing headscissors!

 

Curry: “JD must be wanting to finish this off badly!”

 

JD points his thumb repeatedly down into the back of K-Os, and wraps his arms around his waist. JD starts to lift, when the arena goes to sheer darkness. Two red spotlights converge on the entrance ramp. The SmarkTron shows a stylized image of two-upturned teardrop shapes, black, on a white background. A synthesized low, dragging note resonates throughout the arena as the image turns white, the teardrops now blood red and dripping, as if liquid. The theme to 'A Clockwork Orange' plays, an electronic funeral march as the lights slowly starts to return. JD looks up to the ramp, letting his arms go of K-Os, but hanging onto the headscissors. He checks behind him for an ambush, looking throughout the crowd in the process.

 

Curry: “That’s Lady Red’s entrance! Where is she!?”

 

The SmarkTron flickers to life once again, showing the outside of Jay Dawg’s dressing room. Lady Red standing in front of it, smiling under her face paint. The crowd lashes out with boos, for the attack she pulled on ELM earlier in the night.

 

“Ohh… Jay Dawg.” Annie says in a soft, low whisper. “We all have a little fun sometimes…”

 

JD wraps his arms around K-Os waist once again.

 

“Care-ful. We both know who is behind here.”

 

JD answers the threat of Lady Red with a middle finger, and he elevates K-Os off the ground! K-Os has been recuperating, and lifts himself upward, and over JD’s shoulders, falling behind him with a sit out roll up!

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

THREE…

 

NO!! JD escapes with milliseconds to go!

 

Curry: “Whoa! K-Os almost got the victory right then and there!”

 

NTD: “Almost stole the victory!”

 

K-Os gets to his feet, bent over in exhaustion though. JD thrusts toward him, locking on a facelock, spinning so they are back-to-back, and drop the U.S. champeen with a spinning neckbreaker!

 

*KNOCK*  

 

*KNOCK*

 

*KNOCK*

 

JD stops his assault, he gets to his feet and walks to the ropes, facing the SmarkTron.

 

“That’s better Ja-mie.” Lady Red looks into the screen on the SmarkTron.

 

Curry: “Lady Red is playing head games with Jay Dawg here!”

 

NTD: “This sexy bitch might cost JD the U.S. title… I want to hate her… but she’s so fine!”

 

“Remember JD. I can play all games you can… now it’s time… time for you to be finished!”

 

Lady Red opens the door of the locker room, and the SmarkTron fizzles out! JD shouts something inaudible to the cameras, and sticks his head through the ropes. Just as he’s about to leave, K-Os grabs him from behind and rolls him up with a schoolboy!

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

THREE…

 

NO!!! JD survives once again! JD pounces to his feet, and charges at K-Os with a knee to the gut. K-Os hops over the knee, cradles the leg, and rolls him up with another pinning predicament!

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

THREE…

 

NO!! JD gets to his feet, and kicks K-Os in the stomach. JD sets him up with a vertical suplex set up, and lifts him high up, but K-Os kicks backward, landing on his feet, and rolls JD up with a small package!

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

THREE…

 

NO!! K-Os gets up before JD this time, kicks him in the ribs. JD doubles over, as K-Os pulls him into a rear waistlock. K-Os starts to lift, but JD grapevines his leg, and grabs onto K-Os wrists, and pries them apart. JD ducks around K-Os, and applies a rear waistlock of his own! JD powers K-Os upward, and smashes him into the mat with a German suplex! K-Os folds up like an accordion, and recoils off the mat and falls flat on his face!

 

Curry: “Oh no! That has gotta be all! That suplex started these troubles!”

 

NTD: “K-Os has to be feeling the effects now!”

 

JD grabs K-Os by the legs, rolling him over, making the cover. He hooks the one leg, and lies back first on his chest.

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

THREE…

 

NO!!! K-Os gets his shoulder an inch off the ground! JD grabs his hair, and falls to the mat.

 

Curry: “These two are showing their tremendous resilience! I can’t believe K-Os kicked out of that demolishing suplex!”

 

NTD: “He’s been kicking out of everything! It’s unbelievable!”

 

JD gets to his feet, he walks over to the corner. Resting his arms on the top turnbuckle, he starts to catch his breath, as K-Os lies motionless on the mat. K-Os starts to recover, rolling to his hands and knees. JD starts to stomp his feet on the mat, pounding it like he’s a former champion in a rival fed. The crowd times the beat, and starts up a “You blow!” chant, one word for each stomp.

 

Curry: “For the billionth time, JD looks to be finishing this match!”

 

K-Os is at one knee. JD is still stomping, but starts to move forward. K-Os gets to his feet, turning around. JD leaps in the air, spins 360 degrees, and propels his leg outward with a Thai Roundhouse kick! K-Os ducks the kick, and dashes to the ropes! K-Os rebound off the cable, JD turns around to face him, and K-Os demolishes him with a GORE! GORE! GORE! K-Os grabs both of JD’s legs, hooking them, he pushes forward with the cover, standing like he’s about to suck JD off.

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

THREE…

 

NO!! JD somehow gets his shoulder up!

 

Curry: “SO CLOSE!!! Yet so far away!”

 

NTD: “ONE SECOND AWAY!!! From retaining his title!”

 

K-Os stays on his feet, looking frustrated. He starts to think to himself what will it take. Finally, an idea pops to his brain, he flips JD onto his back. He stands over top of his legs and grabs them by the ankles. He pulls upward.

 

Curry: “K-Os is going for the move that won him the title! The Heart of Darkness!”

 

K-Os starts to sit down, but a sign of life enters Jay Dawg, and he pulls himself to the ropes! K-Os curses under his breath, but drops the legs before the ref tells him to. JD grabs the middle, then the top rope, and pulls himself to his feet. K-Os scampers toward JD, applying a front facelock, and spinning off him, K-Os falls back for the tornado DDT, but JD pushes him off! K-Os lands on his feet, as JD shoves him into the ropes! K-Os returns, to see Jay Dawg’s leg fly at him with the Thai Roundhouse kick! K-Os ducks, and continues to run off the ropes, JD spins around, he sees K-Os dive at him with the Gore! JD catches K-Os, rips him upside down from the brief standing headscissors that took place, jumps high in the air and spins 180 degrees, before annihilating K-Os with the piledriver of doom! K-Os rebounds head first off the mat, flying high in the air, before crashing back down into the mat!

 

Curry: “Jay Dawg just levelled K-Os with Who Let the Dawg Out!”

 

NTD: “Holy shit! That was so fucking cool!”

 

Curry: “K-Os went for the Gore a second time, but JD had a plan! Oh my god, that is all she wrote for the U.S. champion!”

 

JD stays sitting, bracing himself with one hand, and holding his other hand in triumph. He eventually gets to his feet, taking deep breaths he walks over to K-Os, who lies motionless, chest down on the mat. A grin of mischief floods over Jay Dawg’s face, as he stands by K-Os legs. He grabs both of K-Os legs, pulling him to the center of the ring, he steps up by K-Os ribs, pulling the legs upward, elevating them so they are over top of K-Os neck, and sits down on the part of K-Os that connects his head to his shoulders!

 

Curry: “Oh my god! Jay Dawg just applied the Heart of Darkness! He’s looking to win the WF title the same way he lost it!”

 

NTD: “K-Os is completely out of it! He can’t even tap out! This has to be torture on his neck if he has any signs of consciousness!”

 

The ref gets into the face of K-Os, looking at the glossy eyes. He asks him some inaudible questions, but K-Os doesn’t answer… Finally, the ref comes to the conclusion to raise an arm…

 

…it drops…

 

“One!”

 

The ref raises the arm again…

 

…it drops…

 

“Two!”

 

JD pulls K-Os legs even farther up, shaking his head, denying K-Os any pleasure. The ref raises the hand one more time…

 

…falling…

 

…falling…

 

…the faint sound of skin smacking the mat seems magnified, as K-Os hand hits the mat the third time…

 

*DING* *DING* *DING*

 

‘Fight Music’ hits the speakers, as JD smiles in victory. The fans erupt in boos, insulting the victor!

 

Funyon: “The winner of this match, via submission… AND NEW SWF US CHAMPION!!! JAY DAWG!!!!!”

 

JD drops the legs of K-Os, and lets the ref raise his hand. The fans continue to verbally abuse JD as he is handed the U.S. title.

 

Curry: “Jay Dawg just won back the U.S. title! Cleanly to say the least! What is going on here!?”

 

NTD: “Lady Red must have brought out the rage in him! Wait a minute! What happened to Lady Red in Jay Dawg’s locker room!?”

 

JD heads to a turnbuckle, climbing it, he holds the title high above his head. He grins mischievously at the crowd, basking in glory, inviting the heat to flow through him. Cups of soda and bags of popcorn are thrown at him. However, like NTD reminded them, the SmarkTron flickers to life, inside Jay Dawg’s locker room. The place is torn up, but Lady Red, and Molly both seem to be missing. Jay Dawg’s eyes light up in rage, as he runs out of the ring, the U.S. title draped over his shoulder.

 

“Molly!” JD shouts, as he runs up the ramp.

 

Curry: “Jay Dawg may have won the U.S. title, but he looks to be losing the war!”

 

NTD: “I wonder where Lady Red took Molly!”

 

Curry: “Whatever the case, we have ran out of time! We will be back with an update after these commercials!”

 

Commercial for “SWF’s Greatest Hits” kicks up.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

[bA sits in his office with his feet up on the desk and a slightly smug smirk on his face.  He’s midway through a joint when there’s a knock on the door…]

 

Stubby – Whoever it is, go away!

 

[The doorknob turns and the person on the other side lets himself in despite Stubby’s warning.  Stubby drops his feet to the floor and turns around to face the person who just entered his office.]

 

Stubby – What the fuck did I tell you?

 

Rotten – Oh, sorry…I didn’t think it would be a problem.

 

Stubby – Oh…it’s you.  Where the hell have you been?

 

Rotten – Well…that’s kind of a long story, but did you see what I did to the Prophet?  I heard what he put you through man…

 

[stubby stands up and walks around his desk towards Rotten then places a hand on his shoulder.]

 

Stubby – Yeah…things were pretty bad for a while.  Thanks man.  I appreciate it…really.  Is that all?

 

Rotten - Well, I was thinking…I’m back, so when do you think I can resume my Vice commissioner duties?

 

[The smile suddenly disappears from Stubby’s face and he moves back behind his desk.]

 

Stubby – Well, we’ll see.  I’ll get back to you, okay?

 

Rotten – Sure, sure…that’s fine.  Well, I’ll see you around.

 

Stubby – Yeah…good to see you back man.

 

[Rotten leaves and for a few seconds Stubby sits behind his desk, just thinking.  Stubby reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cell-phone and punches in a number…]

 

Stubby – Thugg?  Yeah it’s Stubby…we have to talk…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

SWF Storm returns from a commercial break, but before the next match begins, the Bugz "Ass-Kickin' of the Week" logo appears on the screen.  "And now it's time for the Ass-Kickin' of the Week," says a voice over, "brought you to by Bugz Boots, always tough enough to dish out an ass-kickin'!"

 

The screen cuts away to a brief video clip replaying highlights from the Hardcore Gamers title match that took place just last week on SWF Battleground 2, pitting Longdogger Pete against the three time champion, Mistress Sarah.

 

(Pete flails his arms wildly, trying in vain to escape the strangle hold as Sarah chokes the air out of Pete, pulling tighter with each passing second.

 

Suddenly, Sydney Sky enters the ring, holding the Hardcore Gamers title belt, and the audience pops big time!  Sydney sneaks up behind Sarah, and the crowd goes wild as Sydney hits Sarah's head from behind with the title belt!  Sarah loses her grip on the whip, and drops down to her knees.

 

"Oh, my god!" hollers Curry.  "Sydney Sky in the ring now, and getting some retribution on Mistress Sarah!"

 

Sydney doesn't stop there.  She drops the belt, then holds Sarah prone, pulling her up so that her knees are bent and her head is buckled forward, then dropping her to the mat in a bone-crunching pedigree!

 

"GOOD MORNING!" Curry and NTD shout simultaneously with the audience as Sydney pulls off the Daybreak on Sarah.

 

Pete kicks at Sarah's helpless form, then reaches down and lifts her into the air with both hands, adjusting Sarah until she is pressed high over his head in a horizontal position!

 

"WHOA!" shouts Curry.  "That's one mean military press, and that only means one thing!  MUSCLEHEAD SLAM!"

 

Sure enough, after a moment's hesitation, Pete uses all his might to slam Sarah down into the mat from an incredible height.  Sarah is left unconscious by this gruesome assault, and Pete finally allows himself the cover over Sarah.

 

The crowd is going absolutely nuts, and "Cold Contagious" hits the arena speakers again as Funyon announces, "Here's your winner, and NEW SWF Hardcore Gamers champion... LOOOOOOOONGDOGGERRRRRR PEEEEEEEEETE!"

 

"Amazing," says Curry.  "With an assist from SJL wrestler Sydney Sky, Longdogger Pete gets the victory, and the Hardcore title, from Mistress Sarah!")

 

The recap ends as SWF Storm returns live.  "Welcome back to SWF Storm!" greets announcer Curry Man.  "If you're just joining us, we've already seen one title rematch, pitting Jay Dawg against rookie K-Os for the US title.  Next up, we've got a rematch for the Hardcore Gamers Championship!"

 

"Longdogger Pete beat Mistress Sarah for the title this week at Battleground 2," NTD adds, "but he had help from SJL wrestler Sydney Sky!"

 

"Not this time," Curry continues.  "In a bizarre twist, Commissioner Stubby McWeed has banned all outside interference from ringside, and he has made this rematch a steel cage match!"

 

As the announcers chat, sure enough, the camera focuses on the ring in the center of the arena, where an enormous steel cage is being lowered into place around the ring.  The audience cheers in anticipation of the upcoming match as they watch the cage descend.

 

"Well, it's a fair stipulation," opines NTD.  "These two had a cage match in the IGNJL, but Sarah only won that match with interference from our own Perfect Bo!"

 

"It's true that this pair has had a very long war here in the SWF, and maybe this match will settle things once and for all!" says Curry.

 

"I doubt it," remarks NTD.

 

The lights in the arena darken, and "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones begins to play over the speaker system.  As each drum beat hits, freeze frame images of Mistress Sarah in action appear on the Smarktron.  As a guitar begins playing with the music, Mistress Sarah herself appears on stage, dressed in her dominatrix attire.  She wears high black boots with a short heel.  Her escort, Mikaela, saunters out behind her, but a moment later, several men also arrive on stage.  The men wear black T-shirts with the word "SECURITY" printed across the back.  The men pull Mikaela away from a stunned Sarah and return backstage with her.

 

"What was that all about?" NTD wonders.

 

"I guess that no interference rule works for both competitors!" answers Curry.  "Like you said, it's only fair!"

 

"The following contest is a steel cage match," announces Funyon from within the ring, "and it is for the SWF Hardcore Gamers Championship!  The only way to win is to escape the cage by climbing over the top and touching the floor outside the cage with both feet.  Introducing first, the challenger, from Bellevue, Nebraska... MISTRESS SAAAAARAAAAAAH!"

 

Sarah makes her way down the ramp as her music continues to play.  She attempts to ignore the chorus of jeers that erupt as she passes various rows of audience members.  At the bottom of the ramp, she stops long enough to spot an empty steel chair sitting by the timekeeper's table.  She walks over to pick it up, then folds up the chair, carrying it with her toward the cage.  She opens the cage door without waiting for the referee to do it, tosses in the folded chair, and then climbs into the cage herself.

 

"Great, so now there's a chair in the cage, and the match hasn't even started yet!" says Curry.  "That's real fair!"

 

"Well, it is a hardcore title match, after all," NTD points out.

 

"You will get yours...

you will get yours...

you will get yours...

you will get yours...

 

YOU WILL GET YOURS!"

 

Bush's "Cold Contagious" hits the arena's powerful speaker system, and an explosion of white pyrotechnics erupts from the stage area.  The audience explodes with applause as obscuring smoke billows out onto the entrance ramp.  Longdogger Pete steps out of the smoke, wearing a short sleeved Hawaiian shirt unbuttoned at the top, tattered jean shorts, and dark sunglasses.  Pete strides briskly down the entrance ramp toward the ring, taking his time, soaking it all in, proudly displaying the gold Hardcore title belt being carried over his shoulder.

 

"And her opponent," announces Funyon in the center of the ring, "from Miami, Florida, weighing in at 272 pounds... he is the new SWF Hardcore Gamers Champion... LOOOOOOOOONGDOGGERRRRR PEEEEEEEETE!"

 

The referee holds the door open as Pete climbs into the cage.  "Cold Contagious" keeps on playing as Pete walks toward a turnbuckle and climbs to the top, holding his newly won title belt in the air... an impressive sight, even while partially obscured within the chain links of the steel cage.  Sarah backs away from that particular turnbuckle, allowing Pete to have his moment.  Finally, Pete steps down from the turnbuckle, and tosses his belt to the referee, who then closes the cage door and begins to lock it.  After locking the door, he signals for the timekeeper to ring the bell, starting the contest.

 

"And we are underway!" exclaims Curry.

 

Almost immediately, Pete goes after Sarah, overtaking her with his sheer size and strength.  He begins pummeling across her chest with a series of hard right overhand punches, and Sarah reels backwards, taking a step back with each punch.  Pete ends the string with an uppercut to Sarah's jaw, and that final punch is enough to knock her backward into the turnbuckle post.  She slumps down into the corner, and already a close up camera can show that a bruise is beginning to form on Sarah's jaw.

 

"He's hurt her!" cries NTD.  "Already!  I should go in there and help her!"

 

"And face LDP's wrath?" wonders Curry.

 

"On second thought... maybe that's not such a good idea," retracts NTD.

 

Pete grabs the prone Sarah by her hair and lifts her back to a standing position, causing Sarah to shriek as her hair is yanked upward.  Pete lifts Sarah off her feet, carrying her away from the turnbuckle.  Pete gets a running start, moving full tilt toward the cage wall.  He slams Sarah into the cold metal wall, and she drops to the mat again.

 

"This guy needs serious anger management training!" mutters NTD.

 

"They don't call him the One Man Wrecking Crew for nothing," replies Curry.

 

Pete stands over Sarah, then begins climbing the ropes above her, already making a scramble toward the top of the cage.  He ascends to the middle rope, and then rises toward the top rope, but Sarah reaches up with her arm, and manages to grab hold of Pete's foot, impeding his progress.  Pete tries to shake her off, but Sarah doesn't relent, pulling on his foot for leverage to balance herself as she starts to stand up.  As she stands, she grabs a firmer grip on Pete, pulling him by grabbing the back of his Hawaiian shirt.  Sarah pulls Pete down from the ropes by tugging on his shirt, and his head slams into the top rope on the way down.  Pete clutches at his now sore nose as he turns around to face Sarah, but as he runs at her, she sidesteps him, and sticks a foot out, succeeding in a drop toe hold to send Pete down to the mat.  While Pete is down, Sarah makes a grab for the steel chair still lying folded in the ring.  She picks it up, holding it up over her head, and then bringing it down atop Pete... but Pete manages to roll out of the way, evading the chair shot as Sarah slams the chair into the mat.

 

"That could have been bad for LDP," says NTD.

 

"Both competitors are trying their hardest to maintain an advantage here," says Curry, "and it looks like neither one is succeeding!"

 

Pete rolls himself into a sitting position in an attempt to get up off the mat, but then just as quickly ducks the next chair shot from Sarah.  This time he does actually manage to get to his feet, but Sarah performs an unusual tactic... she throws the chair at him.  Pete catches the chair, perplexed, but then Sarah spins around into a spinning heel kick, her guiding leg connecting with the base of the chair.  The momentum of the kick sends the chair into Pete's head, and sends Pete sprawling out on the mat again.

 

"Whoa!" cries NTD.  "Van Daminator!"

 

"I don't think you can say that," Curry answers.  "Isn't it trademarked by another wrestler?"

 

NTD thinks about that, considering another option.  "Uh... Van Sarahnator?"

 

Sarah glances at the cage, hesitating a moment as she ponders her next move.  Deciding for the moment not to try to escape, she instead picks the chair back up, unfolding it just partially, and that placing it around Pete's right leg.

 

"I'm not sure what she's going to do here," admits Curry, "but I don't like it."

 

Sarah steps away from Pete, leaving his right leg wedged in the steel chair as Pete continues to lie still after taking the Van Daminator-like spinning heel kick.  Sarah takes a running start, and then hops in the air, sticking her leg out and landing a stunning leg drop over Pete's leg!  There is a sickening crunch as her leg hits the chair and it folds closed around Pete's leg!

 

 

"Agh!" NTD cries, along with LDP.

 

"The pain must be excruciating for Longdogger Pete!" observes Curry.

 

Sarah doesn't stop there.  She pulls the remains of the chair free of Pete's leg, but then grabs his already weakened leg and wraps around it, twisting herself into a figure four leg lock!

 

"Submission maneuver!" cries NTD.

 

Pete howls in pain and anger, struggling desperately against Sarah's submission hold.  Finally he can tolerate the pain no longer and he begins tapping his hand on the mat, but the referee allows Sarah to continue!

 

"He's tapping out!   He's tapping out!" says NTD.

 

"It doesn't matter!  She can't win it that way!" corrects Curry.

 

Several long excruciating seconds pass, until finally Sarah tires of the move and lets Pete free, standing and moving away from him.  Pete remains in place, nearly unconscious from the agonizing pain.  Keeping a close eye on Pete as she moves off, Sarah makes for the nearest cage wall and starts climbing up on the ropes.

 

"Here it comes!" exclaims NTD.  "Sarah's trying to make a break for it!  She could become the SWF's first four time titlist right here and now!  All she has to do is leave!"

 

Sarah wastes little time scrambling up the ring ropes as Pete lies still.  Within moments, she has climbed to the top rope, and all that remains is the last few feet of chain link fence to climb to be able to reach the top of the cage, and freedom.  She starts to make a grab for the fence...

 

...and at that moment, Pete begins to stir!  He rolls toward the fence, determined more than ever to put an end to this match.  Pete reaches for the ropes with his hands and slowly starts pulling himself up to his feet using the ring ropes for leverage.  Sarah sees Pete coming and tries to quicken her ascent, actually getting a couple of links upward on the difficult to scale cage wall.  Pete quickly gets to a standing position and starts climbing the ropes himself, ignoring the shooting pain in his leg.  He makes it from one ropes to the next, and snakes an arm upward, grabbing Sarah by the ankle.  He pulls on her ankle with all his might, and Sarah loses her balance, slipping from the cage and dropping back to the mat, hitting the mat hard on her back!

 

"Ouch!" says Curry.  "The Miami Menace just turned this match up to a whole new level!"

 

Pete clambers down from the ropes himself, and walks toward Sarah, a slight limp now making itself apparent in his step.  Pete grabs Sarah by the hair and starts to lift her up.  Sarah barely responds, woozy from the fall from the side of the cage.  Pete manages to raise her to a standing position, and Sarah offers little defense as he kicks her in the stomach.  Sarah starts to buckle forward, but Pete grabs her by the shoulders, and drops backward, sending her head face first into the mat as the audience explodes with applause!

 

"CLOGGER!" hollers Curry.  "LDP with the Longdogger Clogger on Mistress Sarah!  NTD, you see now why he's the Hardcore champion?  Nothing stands in this guy's way!"

 

"Somebody get a medic for Sarah; I think she's seriously hurt!" calls out NTD.

 

Sarah is utterly motionless on the mat, the fall coupled with the Clogger having done more than enough damage to put her away.  All that remains is for Pete to escape the cage.  And so he tries.  As the audience begins chanting "LDP!  LDP!" Pete starts to scale the cage wall.  The effort is a slow, lumbering one, and he nearly loses his balance standing on the ring ropes due to his bad leg.  Pete does manage to hang on, and gets to the top rope, working his way from the ropes to the chain links of the steel cage wall.  The effort is slow and excruciating, but the audience is on his side, inch by agonizing inch, as he makes his way up the side of the cage.  Finally, incredibly, Pete gets his hand up to the top of the cage, and he pulls his body up across the top.  Pete now lies across the top of the steel cage, twenty feet in the air, and Sarah is still unconscious inside the ring, powerless to stop Pete from winning the match!

 

"This is it," says Curry.  "All he has to do now is climb down the other side, and he'll have retained the Hardcore title in this hellacious rematch!"

 

For a long moment, Pete doesn't move, having expended all his energy, all his effort, merely getting up the cage.  It was much too early to focus on climbing down.  But he knew what he was going to have to do, and he knew it wouldn't be easy.  Feeling a surge of adrenaline come over him, Pete begins to will his body to move again.

 

"He's moving!" says NTD.  "He's going to make it after all!"

 

Little by little, the crowd's emotions and energy feeding his will, Pete moves himself into a sitting position, and then up a little more into a standing one.  Amazingly, Pete now stands twenty feet in the air, and looks out across the arena, at the twenty thousand screaming fans, most of which are chanting his name.  He then looks down at the unconscious form of Mistress Sarah, lying battered and broken in the ring.

 

"Get on with it already!" hollers Curry.  "Don't waste time; win the match!"

 

Suddenly a brief sadistic smile washes over Pete's face, and he raises his right arm in the air, fist outward, his sign of triumph.  Then he changes the hand signal, instead holding out his thumb and forefinger in a more recognizable "L" shape.  The audience roars as they recognize the signal.

 

"NO!" shouts Curry.  "He's not going to do what I think he's going to do!"

 

"He is!" NTD yells back.  "He is!"

 

Pete turns to face the inside of the ring...

 

 

...bends his knees...

 

 

...AND LEAPS OFF THE CAGE, HURTLING DOWN TOWARD SARAH WITH HIS LEG OUTSTRETCHED!

 

 

"OH, MY GOD!" Curry hollers.  "OH, MY GOD!"

 

CRASH!  Pete lands the twenty-foot Longdogger Legdrop as his leg lands across Sarah's chest, but the ultra high spot takes both competitors out of action!  The force of the impact with the mat sends Pete rolling a few feet away, where he stops and then loses consciousness.  The leg drop didn't do much to improve Sarah's condition either.  She remains unconscious, and in addition, Pete's boot must have inadvertently struck her in the face during the leg drop, as fresh blood is beginning to appear around her nose and mouth.  The sight is particularly gruesome for the fans of the dominatrix Mistress Sarah, not used to seeing the female competitor in such a haggard condition.

 

"He KILLED her!" NTD screams.  "Pete just KILLED Sarah with that Longdogger Legdrop!  Get her out of there already!"

 

"Calm down!" Curry yells.  "You know she can't leave while the match is still going!  Someone has to escape the cage!  There must be a winner!  However, if no one gets up pretty soon, the referee MIGHT declare a no contest.  I guess that depends on the attitude of the ref, though!"

 

Twenty thousand hushed audience members now watch the inside of the cage with baited breath, with the hopes that not only would their favorite wrestler win, but now, with the hopes that both competitors would be able to recover from their extensive injuries.  For several long moments, neither competitor moves, and the situation does not look good.

 

Finally, the referee, watching the action from outside the cage, decides that enough is enough, and starts to count, deciding that the match would be thrown out if he reached a ten count and neither competitor moved.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

"Just end it already!" NTD yells.  "Can't you count any faster than that?  Sarah needs help!"

 

 

FIVE!

 

 

 

SIX!

 

 

"I think both competitors are going to need help by the time this one is through," says Curry.

 

 

SEVEN!

 

 

 

EIGHT!

 

 

Suddenly, Sarah starts to stir!  The referee stops the count as the Mistress ever so slowly rises to her knees, despite her outward appearance that suggests serious injuries.  One side of her face is now covered in blood.  Sarah tries not to let the pain deter her, pulling herself up to a kneeling position.  Sarah takes a long look up at the top of the cage, at the great height that awaits her for her to have any hope of winning this contest.  Then she looks over at Longdogger Pete, one of her greatest rivals... who is also regaining consciousness!

 

"Pete's getting up too!  They're both all right!" Curry says.  "'All right' being a relative term, of course," he then amends.

 

Sarah looks furious at this turn of events.  She gets to her feet, momentarily forgetting about the cage, and focuses on putting Pete away.  She unfurls the long leather bullwhip that has been at her side throughout the contest, shakes it out a few times, and then advances toward Pete.

 

"Uh oh, she's got that whip out!" warns Curry.

 

"Woohoo!" says NTD.  "I want the whip!  Give ME the whip!"

 

Curry just shakes his head.  "Sometimes you are just too strange for words."

 

LDP gets up to his knees, but before he can fully stand up, Sarah attacks him from behind, wrapping some of the whip's length around Pete's throat.  Pete gags on impulse, and tries to reach over his head to grab Sarah as she begins to cut off his air.  Pete manages to grab hold of her hair and pulls on it hard, and she shrieks in pain.  She reacts by yanking on the whip, which of course doesn't help Pete's situation much.  Finally he attempts to get out of his predicament before he passes out.  Mustering all his strength, he lifts himself up to a standing position.  The much shorter Sarah hangs on tightly to the whip, and is therefore lifted into the air, with her hands wrapped around Pete's head.  Angrily, Pete does the only logical thing he can think of, and allows himself to fall straight backward.  Sarah shrieks again as she lands on the mat, a split second before Pete lands atop her, crushing her once again with his body weight.

 

Pete rolls off Sarah, leaving the SWF's only active female grappler in severe pain.  The Miami Menace gets back to his feet, pondering his next move, but Sarah starts to get up as well!  Both competitors continue to push their bodies to the limits to try to win the match and hang on to the treasured Hardcore Gamers Championship.

 

Pete grabs Sarah by an arm and sends her running toward the ring ropes in an Irish whip.  Sarah bounces off the ropes, picking up speed as she runs back toward Pete.  Pete whirls to face Sarah and tries for a clothesline, holding his arm in the air, but Sarah easily ducks him, her smaller size finally becoming useful.  Sarah keeps running, now bouncing off the opposite set of ropes, and leaps into the air, toppling over Pete, who was unprepared for such an action.  Sarah puts her face right into Pete's, so that the two of them are almost nose to nose, and she shouts a few choice words at him.  Then her face moves away, and she rakes her hand across his eyes.

 

"Ooh!  Eye rake!  Bad kitty kitty!" snickers NTD.  Curry, for his part, merely groans.

 

"Calm down, NTD," says Curry.  "It looks like we're seeing some actual mat wrestling here.  That's something you don't see a whole lot of during cage matches."

 

"Well, how much can you do without pinfalls?" shrugs NTD.

 

Pete rolls away from Sarah before she can try to rake him again.  Sarah is quite the disturbing sight, with her wild eyes, frazzled hair, and blood stained face.  She doesn't let any of that deter her, completely focused on her goal of ripping her opponent to pieces.

 

Pete stands, and Sarah runs toward him at full speed.  Pete sees her coming, however, and counters her charge, sidestepping and lifting her into the air, using her own momentum to propel her in the same direction.  His counter has the desired effect, as he lifts her into the air and slams her face first into the mesh of the menacing steel cage!  "Oooooh!" the crowd chants, feeling Sarah's pain at that moment.  But Pete doesn't stop there.  He sets her down, seated across the top ring rope, her feet dangling on the other side of the ropes, between the ropes and the cage wall.  Pete holds her by the shoulders, and walks toward the nearest turnbuckle, dragging her face along the cage wall the entire way!

 

"Oh, my God!" cries Curry.  "He's trying to rip her face open!"

 

"That sick monster!" hollers NTD.

 

Pete stops Sarah's movement when he gets to a turnbuckle, and instead sets her down on the turnbuckle, then begins to climb the ring ropes himself, preparing himself for a superplex.  But when Pete gets to the top rope, Sarah lashes out with a well placed kick to Pete's groin!  Pete drops away from the ropes in pain, and lands on the mat, falling flat on his back.

 

"Now there's the power of a Woman's Wile!" grins NTD.

 

As Pete struggles to get up, Sarah climbs up even higher, standing atop the turnbuckle.  In her weakened state, she clings to the cage wall for support.  She takes a few steps away from the turnbuckle, standing now only on the top ring rope, and turns to face Pete.

 

"What's she doing now?" Curry wonders.

 

Curry doesn't have to wait long to find out.  Sarah bends her knees, then leaps off the top rope just as Pete gets back on his feet.  Sarah wraps her legs around Pete's shoulders as she tumbles to the mat and sends Pete downward as well in what turns out to be a well executed springboard hurricanrana.

 

"Excellent maneuver!" says Curry.  "Sarah pulls off the visually impressive Whipped hurricanrana and leaves Pete even more vulnerable!"

 

"Everything about Sarah is visually impressive," remarks NTD.

 

"I don't know if I'd be saying that about her right now," Curry counters.

 

Sarah leaves Pete alone with his various aches and pains, and rolls away, using the ropes to help herself stand back up.  Finally through with the simple task of hurting her opponent, she now makes the attempt to leave the cage, first slowly climbing from rope to rope, then stopping at the top rope to catch her breath.

 

"I think if Sarah is smart," Curry thinks aloud, "this will be the last cage match she agrees to for a long time."

 

"There she goes!" exclaims NTD.  "She's going to win!  We're going to have a new hardcore champion!"

 

"No, wait!  Pete is getting up!" hollers Curry.

 

Sure enough, Pete has recovered from the Whipped hurricanrana enough to get back to his feet, though his steps are a little unsteady.  He hobbles to the cage wall as Sarah begins climbing the mesh of the cage itself, her feet pulling away from the ring ropes.  Pete begins climbing himself, just a few feet away from Sarah, but just out of her reach.  He makes it up the ropes and starts climbing the cage right alongside her, hoping to beat her to the top.  The crowd begins to get excited at this climactic sequence of events.

 

"This is what it has come down to, NTD... a race!" exclaims Curry.  "The first one up and over the cage wall will be the SWF Hardcore Gamers champion!"

 

"Pete's catching up!" says Curry.  "This one's going to be closer than close!"

 

Sarah stumbles a little on her way to the top of the cage, and Pete is able to catch up to her, until the two are practically neck and neck!  In the end it is Sarah that reaches the top first, edging out LDP by mere seconds!  Sarah gets to her feet, standing on top of the cage wall as a few feet away, Pete crawls up to the top and stops there, lying across the top, resting his body momentarily.

 

Despite how close she has come to victory, Sarah can't resist the urge... she kicks Pete, trying to knock him off the top, back inside the cage.  Pete resists her attack, clutching on to the top, hanging on for dear life.  Sarah kicks him again and again, but Pete continues to hang on.  Finally, giving up, Sarah turns away from Pete, and begins to climb down the opposite side of the cage wall.

 

"She's climbing down!  That's it!" hollers NTD.  "All she has to do is touch the bottom to win!"

 

Confident that her victory is sure at hand, Sarah takes it easy climbing down the cage.  She had, after all, taken a lot of abuse during the match, and a misstep here could easily spell out disaster for her career.  So slow and steady down the cage she went.

 

Longdogger Pete holds no such reservation.  In a move that would undoubtedly be replayed on highlight shows for many months to come, and in a move that proved Pete would make any sacrifice to reach his goal...

 

 

...any sacrifice at all...

 

 

 

...Pete... simply... rolled... off... the... cage...

 

 

 

...hurtling downward through the air, traversing the distance much more quickly than Sarah ever thought of...

 

 

 

...and landing on the floor below with a solid, sickening THUD.

 

 

 

"OH, MY GOD!" cries Curry.  "LONGDOGGER PETE HAS JUST THROWN HIMSELF TWENTY FEET OFF THE TOP OF THE STEEL CAGE!  AND PETE RETAINS!  PETE RETAINS THE SWF HARDCORE TITLE!"

 

"He's PSYCHOTIC!" hollers NTD.  "He's SUICIDAL!"

 

The damage has been done, and it is apparent from watching the video replay of the amazing fall from the cage that Pete is not getting up, nor will he be able to get up any time soon.  "Cold Contagious" hits the speakers again, and Funyon makes the necessary announcements, but all eyes have turned to Longdogger Pete as his body is suddenly surrounded by medical personnel.

 

"My God, what an incredible end to this hellacious match," Curry remarks.  "I just hope LDP is going to pull through."

 

"It was his own stupid fault!" grumbles NTD.  "Geez, Pete, the title isn't worth killing yourself over!"

 

"Folks, we'll try to get an update on LDP's condition as soon as possible," says Curry.  "In the meantime, we've got to go to a break, but we've got a stellar main event coming up next!  Don't go anywhere; we'll be right back on SWF Storm!"

 

The camera gets one last shot of the medical team working vigorously to assess Pete's condition, and then Storm fades to a commercial break.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

Backstage at the America West Arena, hallways are shown, with the back of a man causing wreckage wherever he walks.

 

“Molly!!””

 

It’s Jay Dawg, as he walks further down, he rips apart a prop table. A nervous backstage man steps out of Jay Dawg’s way, but another is not so lucky. JD grabs him by the collar of his shirt, and shoves him up against a wall.

 

“Have you seen Molly!?”

 

“W-W-Who?” the nervous man honestly asks.

 

“YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK WHO!!! Tell me where the fuck she is! Did you see her!?”

 

“N-N-N-No…!”

 

JD throws the unknown man aside. He continues to walk around backstage, throwing props and crap around, punching everything in sight, breaking the majority of it.

 

“Molly! Where are you!?”

 

A security guard steps in Jay Dawg’s way.

 

“Mr. Dawg, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to stop this tantrum you are throwing. I saw Molly earlier by the coffee stand. Now please, stop this rampage.”

 

“Was Lady Red with her!? Tell me NOW!!!”

 

“Yes, she was there. Now pleas…”

 

JD doesn’t let the guard finish his sentence, as he shoves him out of the way. JD runs presumably in the direction of the coffee stand.

 

“Molly!”

 

In time, after two hallways, and many crewmembers from backstage stepping out of the way, JD makes it to the coffee stand, to see Molly standing… alone.

 

“Where is she!?”

 

“Huh?… Jamie… she left. Let it be.”

 

“Did she try anything!? Did she violate you!? Are you OK!?”

 

“No, no and yes… Jamie, settle down. She came to the locker room, offered to get me some coffee, and said we started off wrong. I decided to be polite and accepted that is all. She didn’t try a move, or anything.”

 

JD slowly exhales, and gropes Molly around her shoulders, gently pulling her into a hug.

 

“I came as soon as I could. You had me worried, you know that.”

 

“I do. So come on, let’s head out.”

 

“Not yet. I have to get Da Pound’s back in this match… even if they don’t need it. The Clan is in for a surprise tonight. They sure won’t know what hit them.”

 

“All right, but please… don’t pull anything stupid. I want you in good condition as well…”

 

JD places his arm around her, and they start to walk away. The camera slowly focuses in on her backside, zooming in on the back of her neck… where sits, a blotch of red… dripping down her backside.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

*Curry: What a night so far!  The fallout from Battleground 2 has already started to fall, but the night isn’t over just yet!

*NTD: That’s right!  Speaking of Fallout, he and Thoth, the Clan’s top two members, face off against Sacred and the HVille Thugg!

*Curry: Earlier tonight, Stubby McWeed, the comissioner of the SWF, made it clear that he is alligned with Da Pound, to the Clan’s chagrin.

*NTD: Well, the Clan couldn’t do their job of keeping Misty, Stubby’s wife, safe!  The Enlightenment got to her time and time again!

 

(Footage rolls from the top of the show, showing Stubby’s monologue, Thoth’s interruption, and the subsequent beatdown of Thoth by Da Pound.)

 

*Curry: And then, just moments later, Spider Nekura suckered the HVille Thugg into an assault from the Number One Contender to the SWF Heavyweight Title, Fallout!

 

(Footage rolls of said moments, taking care to catch the action from several different angles.)

 

*NTD: Now come on, the Clan got lucky!  Thugg’s a big boy... a very big boy, and he could easily wreck any of the Clan’s shit!

*Curry: Whitey.

*NTD: What’chu talkin’ about, Willis?

*Curry: Whitey.  Pale whitey.  Pantsless freak.

*NTD: Yo, you just trippin’ cuz’ I flow wit da jive.

*Curry: W-W-W-W-Whitey.

 

The arena becomes shrouded in darkness as a haunting, bassless beat begins to play.  Ephemeral flashes of white randomly illuminate sections of the crowd, but as soon as they appear, they leave.  The bass becomes more pronounced, gradually, and the crowd can almost feel a cold, forboding wind blow through the empty air.

 

“What’s wrong, motnerfucker, you were a man just a minute ago...”

 

BOOM drops the bass, and the Clan walks from the back, out to the center of all attention to do battle.  At least, two members of the Clan, Fallout and Thoth.

 

*Funyon: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!  Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 421 pounds, Fallout, and one-half of the S-W-F Tag Team Champions, Thoth... THE CLAN!”

 

*NTD: Thoth got his ass handed to him good by Da Pound at the top of the show... damn, playa, that’s how we do it up in dis’ ish, knumsayin’?

*Curry: ...knumsayin? ... Oh... Know what I’m saying?  Right.

*NTD: Yeah, pla-

*Curry: NTD, we get paid to speak English.  EEENNNGGLISH.

 

The Clan enters the ring, stepping through the ropes, and removing their robes.  The crowd... surprisingly, is giving mixed reactions.

 

*Curry: You know, is it just me, or is the Clan getting slightly more popular?

*NTD: It’s just you.

*Curry: Well, you’re the one who doesn’t wear pants.

*NTD: POTATO MEN!

*Curry: ...zuh?

 

The arena drops into darkness again, with DMX shouting to the heavens.

 

“Just cause I love my niggas!  I shed blood for my niggas!  Let-a niggas holla, ‘Where my niggas?’  All I wanna hear is ‘Right here my niggas!’”

 

A wall of fire erupts, revealing members of the most threatening stable in the SWF: Da Pound!

 

*Funyon: And, their opponents, at a total combined weight of 681 pounds, Sacred, and the S-W-F Heavyweight Champion, the HVille Thugg... DA POUND!

 

Sacred breaks into a dash, with HVille Thugg following behind at a jog.  He runs under the bottom rope, and gets to his feet, no sooner, and now he’s trading blows with Thoth!  Fallout comes in to help, but the mere act of Thugg getting up to the apron has them backing off, regrouping to the far corner.  The bell rings belatedly,

 

*DING DING DING*

 

And Sacred goes out to the apron, shaking out the cobwebs of the sudden yet short beating, as the monstrous Thugg enters the ring.  Both Clan members look at each other, shrug, and Thoth sighs, taking a step towards the HVille Thugg.  Even at clear across the ring, Thoth has to look to make eye contact with the huge world champion.  Thugg grins and cracks his knuckles.

 

*NTD: Thoth looks afraid to start this match.

*Curry: Who wouldn’t be?  The HVille Thugg is 450 pounds!  Thoth is a paltry 236!  Better part of valor, you know.

*NTD: Jesus, Curry, when’d you become such a pussy?

*Curry: Call me that in the parking lot.  I dare you.

*NTD: No, you’ll kick my ass!

 

Thoth approches, extremely cautious.  He zig-zags around Thugg, leaning to stay away from his huge, crushing hands.  His eyes are trained on those hands, and his mind tells the rest of his body to STAY AWAY from the hands.  Thugg throws a punch, Thoth leans back.  He can feel the air being pushed by Thugg’s huge fist.  Thoth starts to lean in forward for an attack, but thinks better of it, and leans out of the way as HVT brings another fist to bear.  With a quick glance, Thoth can see that he’s only a few steps back from the ropes, where Thugg can have free reign with his body as a punching bag.  Thoth tries to dodge to the side, get around Thugg, but it’s too late, the big man has closed the space.  The Balancer throws all his weight at HVT, but he’s caught like a ball.  Thugg grins, white teeth emerging from the recesses of dark skin, as Thoth is tossed across the length of the ring.  The crowd “Ooh’s” at the velocity Thoth is thrown at, as he crashes to the mat, under a pair of bottom ropes.  HVT approaches slowly, calmly.  Thoth pulls himself up hurriedly, and tries to get out of the corner, but Thugg leaps forward, his arms out, stopping Thoth from going anywhere.  A boot to the midsection has Thoth doubled over, gasping for air.  With a smirk, Thugg cocks an elbow and rams it into Thoth’s cheek.

 

*Curry: This match has only been going on for a minute, and Thoth already looks like he’s done!

*NTD: Damn, who to cheer for... Curry, quick, who’s more evil?

*Curry: I think you’d be a better judge of that than I am.

 

Thugg lets up on Thoth long enough for the Balancer to exhale, then Thugg whips him to the opposite corner.  Hard.  Thoth smacks with such impact that the entire ring shakes.  The ring ropes oscillate wildly, then wiggle as Thugg lumbers out of the corner, charging, willing his 450 pounds to move.  Thoth, recognizing an opportunity, moves out of the way as Thugg crosses the center of the ring.  The big man can’t change his momentum, and is helpless as he crashes into the corner, chest first.  The big man backpedals, a result of Newton’s Second Law... or Third Law, and Thoth charges in, going low with a dropkick to Thugg’s left calf.  The big man goes down to one knee, as Thoth falls back to the mat.  The Balancer picks himself up quickly, and aims another dropkick at the back of Thugg’s head.  HVT falls forward, and hits his head on the bottom turnbuckle!  Thoth gets up to an adulation of cheers fromt he crowd!

 

*NTD: Woah, wait a minute.  They’re cheering for Thoth!  That’s preposterous!  He’s definitely gonna lose some evil points for that.  (NTD pulls out a clipboard and makes some marks on it before stuffing it back in his pants.  “But he doesn’t wear pants!”  Exactly.  Keep reading the match.)

 

Thoth looks out, his lips wrapped in a quizzical look.  He’s not used to the audience cheering for him, but his attention is diverted back to his opponent in the ring as Thugg lets out a mighty roar and gets back to his feet.  With a glare in his eyes, HVT moves with slightly increased speed, stalking Thoth with a deadly end in mind.  The Balancer looks in all directions, seeing Fallout in his corner, and Sacred in another corner opposite.  Thoth tries to think of a plan while he tries to go low on Thugg, trying to dropkick him in the knee.  As the plan starts to coalesce, Thoth finds himself being picked up by Thugg for a Sidewalk Slam.  Thugg drops him with ease, with a sickening thud.  Thugg leans over for the lazy pin...

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR- No!  Thoth kicks out.  Thugg brings him to his feet, and whips him to the ropes.  Thugg swings a vicious clothesline, but Thoth ducks, and hits a chop-block on Thugg’s left leg again, trying to knock it out.  HVT stumbles, unable to get his hands on the relatively speedy Thoth.  Frustrated, Thoth heads to his corner and tags the even speedier Fallout into the ring, and together, they both attack a leg, as Thugg drops to the crowd, to another rousing cheer from the arena crowd!  Sacred is just shocked as he stares from his post, thinking quickly about whether he should get in the ring and try to help make the comeback.

 

*Curry:  Finally the big man goes down.

*NTD:  They may be losing evil points, but they aren’t losing any ass-kicking points.

 

Thoth slowly walks back to his corner and steps out of the ring.  Fallout mounts Thugg and delivers a series of punches to the head, trying to wear the big man down.  Fallout gets up, runs off the ropes, and drops a leg…but Thugg rolls out of the way.  He gets up, as does Fallout.  Fallout delivers a knife-edge chop across the chest!  (WHOO!  But much to his surprise, it appears to have no effect!  Thugg merely looks annoyed!  Fallout hits him with another chop.  (WHOO!  Still no effect!  Another chop.  (WHOO!  Ditto!

 

*NTD:  Ditto?  That was just lame.

 

Watch it, fool.

 

*NTD:  What’re you going to do about it?

 

I could remove you from commentary.  Have you possessed by the ghost of Mr. Galatea or something.

 

*NTD:  You don’t have the balls.

*Curry:  NTD, are you arguing with the narrator?

*NTD:  He started it!

 

Did not.

 

*NTD:  Did too!

 

Did not.

 

*NTD:  Did too!

 

Anyway, Fallout delivers one more chop to the big man, (WHOO! but it still doesn’t seem to be doing anything, other than pissing him off.  Fallout backs up, bounces off the ropes, and leaps into the air with a spinning heel kick…but Thugg catches him!  He then brings Fallout down with a vicious powerslam!  Thoth tries to come into the ring, but Thugg sees him coming and nails Thoth with a big boot!  Thoth goes down, and rolls out of the ring.  Thugg walks over to his corner and tags in Sacred.  Sacred comes into the ring as Fallout starts to get up, and Thugg exits the ring.  Once Fallout is on his feet, Sacred charges at him and takes him down with the Kamikaze!  Cover…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH-no!  Fallout gets the shoulder up.

 

*Curry:  Wow.  HVille Thugg is an absolute monster!

*NTD:  Well, Sacred’s in the ring now.  Maybe the Clan can get back on track.

 

Sacred brings Fallout to his feet and nails him with a few right hands, backing him into the ropes.  Irish whip, Fallout reverses and lowers his head, but Sacred kicks him right in the face, causing Fallout to stagger back!  Sacred then backs up, bounces off the ropes, and nails Fallout with a flying forearm!  Fallout slowly gets back up, but Sacred takes him back down with a Harlem Side Kick!  This time, Fallout does not get back up on his own.  Sacred helps him up.  He grabs Fallout’s left arm, and his head…

 

*Curry:  Here it comes!

 

…but Thoth suddenly slides into the ring with a steel chair and nails Sacred in the back with it!  The referee immediately calls for the bell!

 

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING

 

*Curry:  Thoth just hit Sacred with a steel chair!

 

Sacred goes down, and Fallout rolls to the side of the ring.  Thugg immediately comes into the ring to help his tag team partner.  He tries to clothesline Thoth, but Thoth ducks…and he nails Thugg with the chair!  Thugg staggers…but he stays on his feet!  Thoth nails him in the head with the chair again…but Thugg still won’t go down!  Fallout is now on his feet again.  He shouts something at Thoth, and Thoth nods.  Thoth tosses the chair at Thugg, who catches it.  Fallout then leaps up and dropkicks the chair in Thugg’s face…and down he goes!

 

*NTD:  Fallout just took down the champion!

*Curry:  Well, Sacred and HVille Thugg will win by disqualification, but the Clan are going to make sure they don’t look like winners tonight!

 

Sacred gets back up and leans against the ropes.  Thoth charges at him and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Then he and Fallout kicks Thugg a few times, rolling him under the bottom rope and out of the ring.  The referee orders them to leave.  Fallout acts like he’s about to hit him, and the referee runs away.  Fallout and Thoth then raise their arms triumphantly.  But as the celebration goes on, a figure jumps out of the crowd and slides into the ring.

 

*Curry:  Wait a minute…that’s Perfect Bo!

*NTD:  What the hell!?

 

Bo quickly runs up behind Thoth, spins him around…AND TAKES HIM DOWN WITH PERFECT PAIN!!!  Fallout realizes what just happened, and he runs up to make the save.  Fallout nails Bo with three right hands to the face.  Irish whip, Bo reverses, and as Fallout comes in, Bo kicks him in the midsection…AND HITS FALLOUT WITH PERFECT PAIN!!!

 

*Curry:  Oh my god!  Perfect Bo just took out Fallout and Thoth!

*NTD:  Here comes the cavalry!

 

Lady Red and K-Os quickly run down the ramp and slide into the ring.  Bo sees them coming and quickly jumps out of the ring as they slide in.  Thugg and Sacred join up with him, and they start walking up the ramp, looking back into the ring.  Lady Red and K-Os check on Fallout and Thoth, looking back at their three adversaries.  Bo, Thugg, and Sacred raise their arms in the air as Da Pound’s music plays.

 

*Curry:  What the hell is this?  Perfect Bo is reunited with Da Pound?

*NTD:  This is not good for the Clan!

*Curry:  It certainly isn’t.  And it looks like the war between Da Pound and The Clan just got a whole lot more interesting!  What will this lead to…on Smarkdown!

 

End of show...

[Guest BA_Baracus]

[About an hour after the end of Storm Rotten makes his way through the parking lot outside the arena.

 

He’s feeling pretty good.  Didn’t win his match, but everyone saw who was in control…it was a good first impression.  Stubby seems to be willing to support him as well, even if he seemed a bit put off by the vice commissioner thing.  The return is going smoothly.

 

Rotten reaches his car and is fumbling around for his keys when he feels a heavy hand on his shoulder.  He quickly turns around…]

 

Rotten – Oh hi, long time no see…

 

Thugg – Yo, Stubby sent us.  Think we need to talk.

 

[Rotten peers around Thugg’s massive frame and catches a glimpse of Jay Dawg…a tire iron in his hands.]

 

Rotten – Shit.

 

[Thugg cracks his knuckles.]

 

Thugg – Welcome back bitch…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

SINGLES MATCH

Johnny Rotten vs. The Prophet

- Rotten just couldn't resist attacking the Prophets testicles and loses by DQ...

 

NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH

El Luchadore Magnifico vs. Lady Red

- The vet manages to pull off the win.

 

US TITLE MATCH

K-Os © vs. Jay Dawg

- Jay Dawg won...against actual competition (despite Lady Red's attempts to distract him).  Yes that's right, Dawg is US champ again and we're officially in hell...

 

CAGE MATCH FOR THE HARDCORE TITLE

Longdogger Pete © vs. Mistress Sarah

- Longdogger retains in a brutal match!

 

TAG TEAM MATCH

Thoth & Fallout vs. Sacred & Hville Thugg

- Sacred and Thugg win by DQ.  Someone also makes a return in this match...but you'll have to read the match to find out who.