Guest Korrosive Report post Posted October 28, 2003 Wow, what a week it's been. I've been so stressed out over work, computer problems, and the lack of a Chris Benoit push, i've decided to start doing something different. Considering that I have the appetite of a Viscera who hasn't eaten in a week, I've decided to create a weekly column dedicated to fast food restaurants. I've based my criteria on many things. 1) Psychology. When the person taking your order is able to effectively tell a story by successfully telling the person exactly what you ordered. This is done by perfect voice pitch, the way the person holds the microphone, and the workrate of serving the food. 2) Spots. The way I rate this is the way the counter attendant does high risk stuff like breathing on the food and overflowing the lid on your soft drink. 3) Pacing. Normally when I rate wrestling, if the wrestlers can pace themselves, I give high marks. Fast food is not the case. I'm a huge wilderbeast damnit, and I want my food as soon as possible. 4) tenderness of the meat. This is extremely important. Keep that in mind. Live from Wendy's on 4th Avenue here in Alberta. Your servers are Billy and Wilfred. Opening Combo: Wendy's swiss melt. When I first walked into the place, I was amazed at how clean it was. These guys do a great job at making the presentation of their building to perfection. The place wasn't too busy so I didn't have to wait long for my food. Wilfred did a good job in asking me exactly what I wanted, if I wanted it upsized (what a stupid question to ask me, but I can forgive) 5 minutes later, I was sitting down with a fresh meal. On first bite (or after I was finished the burger) I was a little dissapointed in how the meat was crispy at the ends. I'm sure the cook phoned it home. The fries were excellent and the soft drink really isn't much of a factor, but the burger was excellent. BONZO BURGERZO! ***3/4 Bacon Mushroom melt. Considering i've already had a feel for the fries and drink and the service, ill stick with the burgers from here out. Heres a basic formula: mushrooms, bacon, cheese, meat. Is it that hard? I was very dissapointed with the pacing it took to make this burger. 8 minutes too long I waited. As for the taste itself, the cheese didn't really feel all that cooked. Isn't this called a melt?? DUD. Chicken Cordeu Bleu. Ahhhh, here we go. Not since Angle/Benoit have I been licking my chops. I've been anticipating this burger for quite a long time now, about 12 hours. Considering it's chicken, it only took them 6 minutes to cook the thing, and there was nothing raw about it!!!! See, is it that hard? The actual burger itself was excellent, however I must take off a few points for extra spices. I mean, I was hitting the toilet faster than Kobe hitting the.....ok, that was mean. Excellent, excellent way to finish up an evening ****1/2. Final thought: Excellent day. The Bacon mushroom melt is a strong reccomendation to avoid, but at all costs, check out the 2 other burgers. Until then, BUY THE BOOK! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0 Report post Posted October 28, 2003 You silly fuck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldSchoolWrestling 0 Report post Posted October 28, 2003 Good stuff. Wasn't sure if was real, which is what I look for in a wrestling match and food reviews. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Choken One Report post Posted October 28, 2003 That was fucking cute. that WAS a parody right? The best ones are the ones you can't tell Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted October 28, 2003 Considering that I have the appetite of a Viscera who hasn't eaten in a week, That's a real shocker! This is done by perfect voice pitch, the way the person holds the microphone, and the workrate of serving the food. He needs a fuckin' microphone! I'm a huge wilderbeast damnit, and I want my food as soon as possible. Big fuckin' surprise! Wilfred did a good job in asking me exactly what I wanted, if I wanted it upsized (what a stupid question to ask me, but I can forgive) BONZO BURGERZO! ***3/4 WTF?!?! 8 minutes too long I waited. As for the taste itself, the cheese didn't really feel all that cooked. Isn't this called a melt?? DUD. Scott Keith actually hates food?!?! I was hitting the toilet faster than Ewwwww!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0 Report post Posted October 28, 2003 that WAS a parody right? The best ones are the ones you can't tell Please tell me that was sarcasm. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Choken One Report post Posted October 28, 2003 Not really, I can actually see the fat fuck doing a Rant on Wendy's food. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
treble 0 Report post Posted October 28, 2003 Why the hell is everyone so obsessed with Scott Keith? You're just feeding his ego with all this bullshit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted October 28, 2003 Why the hell is everyone so obsessed with Scott Keith? You're just feeding his ego with all this bullshit. Does he, or his ego need to get any bigger?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EL BRUJ0 0 Report post Posted October 28, 2003 It be great if the food no-sold Kieth's digestive system. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Old Me Report post Posted October 28, 2003 I have no words to describe my feelings on this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Winter Of My Discontent Report post Posted October 28, 2003 This is kinda funny....in an unfunny kinda way, ...I'm confused. Click my sig for greater amusement. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest subliminal_animal Report post Posted October 29, 2003 Considering that I have the appetite of a Viscera who hasn't eaten in a week, That's a real shocker! This is done by perfect voice pitch, the way the person holds the microphone, and the workrate of serving the food. He needs a fuckin' microphone! I'm a huge wilderbeast damnit, and I want my food as soon as possible. Big fuckin' surprise! Wilfred did a good job in asking me exactly what I wanted, if I wanted it upsized (what a stupid question to ask me, but I can forgive) BONZO BURGERZO! ***3/4 WTF?!?! 8 minutes too long I waited. As for the taste itself, the cheese didn't really feel all that cooked. Isn't this called a melt?? DUD. Scott Keith actually hates food?!?! I was hitting the toilet faster than Ewwwww!!!!!!!! My God. OldSchoolWrestling The Joe Schmoe of TSM Rot your stupid self to hell, Matt Ghoul. That was fucking cute. that WAS a parody right? The best ones are the ones you can't tell Please tell me that was sarcasm. You never know with Choken One. Not really, I can actually see the fat fuck doing a Rant on Wendy's food. Huh. You still never know with Choken One. Why the hell is everyone so obsessed with Scott Keith? You're just feeding his ego with all this bullshit. When you wrote "feed" in your reply to a thread about a fat guy, you had to know someone here was bound to take their shot at comic ineptitude in a bid to win the respect of their faceless peers. Does he, or his ego need to get any bigger?! There we go. And I'm so digging the frenzied delivery, as signaled by a tremendously effective one-two punch of punctuation. Or punch-uation, if you're as funny as this retard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Old Me Report post Posted October 29, 2003 Bring Frederick Douglas to UGS. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest subliminal_animal Report post Posted October 29, 2003 I really don't see what you're getting at. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Old Me Report post Posted October 29, 2003 Click the sig and sign up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest subliminal_animal Report post Posted October 29, 2003 I tried, but my aim was a little shaky. But please, let this not be the end of our discussion! Why is my presence being demanded in somewhere I've never been? Is this some sort of recruitment drive? I feel silly with all the questions (all both of them), but this is quite a bit to digest! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
razazteca 0 Report post Posted October 29, 2003 What about the TRUE STARS of Wendy's........the 99 Cent value menu? What about the Cruiserweights? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest subliminal_animal Report post Posted October 29, 2003 No one was talking to you. Shut up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Winter Of My Discontent Report post Posted October 29, 2003 No one was talking to you. Shut up. Be nice. Hey Bobby Cox is GOd is reading. He should join the UGS. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest subliminal_animal Report post Posted October 29, 2003 No one was talking to you. Shut up. Be nice. Shut up. Hey Bobby Cox is GOd is reading. He should join the UGS. Yeah, I hear he's a quality guy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Winter Of My Discontent Report post Posted October 29, 2003 No one was talking to you. Shut up. Be nice. Shut up. Hey Bobby Cox is GOd is reading. He should join the UGS. Yeah, I hear he's a quality guy. Anybody who considers Bobby Gox God is nuts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tawren 0 Report post Posted October 29, 2003 Anyone who thinks that was funny is a fucking idiot, because that wasn't funny at all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0 Report post Posted October 30, 2003 Well, the intellect just shot up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Old Me Report post Posted October 30, 2003 If I lived in Tawren's world, I'd kill myself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tawren 0 Report post Posted October 30, 2003 If I lived in Tawren's world, I'd kill myself. Good. Go do so. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Old Me Report post Posted October 30, 2003 If I lived in Tawren's world, I'd kill myself. Good. Go do so. Luckily, I don't, so no. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Winter Of My Discontent Report post Posted October 30, 2003 Anyone who thinks that was funny is a fucking idiot, because that wasn't funny at all. Was that a knock on me? I was merely being honest than trying to be funny. Anyone who does think Bobby Cox is God IS nuts. Bobby Cox is a drunken fool. But please, my tape reviewing chum, educate me on what is funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Old Me Report post Posted October 30, 2003 Another tape reviewer? :::bangs head::: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jay Z. Hollywood Report post Posted October 30, 2003 Another tape reviewer? :::bangs head::: Yeah, fucking tape reviewers. Nothing but awkward, obsessive, anal-retentive geeks with no social life, the whole lot of them. What? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
