Boo's OAO Wacky Story Thread

[haVoc 0]

Chinese Man Opens Shop for Left-Handers

 

November 5, 2003 10:15 AM EST

 

 

BEIJING - In a communist country being overrun by capitalism, Ma Bo may be the most enthusiastic leftist of them all.

 

Ma, 56, an entrepreneur in the northeastern Chinese city of Dalian, has opened what the official Xinhua News Agency bills as the country's first shop for left-handed people.

 

"I just want to help the lefties with these special daily-use products, so they can lead an easier and more convenient life," Ma was quoted Wednesday as saying.

 

He also operates a Web site for the same purpose - with the slogan "Left is Best." It "promotes understanding about problems concerning the left-handed," Xinhua said.

 

Ma's shop features myriad accessories for left-handers, from scissors to can openers. It's no small affair in a society where people who use their left hands are often scorned.

 

"I'm delighted to see that business people are beginning to show an interest in left-handed products," said Zhang Heng, a Beijing left-hander.

 

Ma's only apparent problem? He can't try out his products before he sells them.

 

He's right-handed.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Karaoke King gets 'chop' from wife

November 5, 2003

 

A POPULAR karaoke performer was hospitalized after his jealous wife tried - but failed - to cut off his penis while he slept Wednesday, Phnom Penh police said.

 

Kan Bun Hou, 26, was asleep when his wife, Ma Len, attacked him with a razor blade, said Touch Sarin, a Phnom Penh police chief. Police were looking for the woman, who fled after the attack.

 

"The injury is not severe. It could have been worse if she had used scissors," he said. "His wound is treatable."

 

The attack apparently stemmed from Kan Bun Hou's popularity as a karaoke performer. The couple had fought the day before.

 

"He's a handsome man and used to party a lot at night," Touch Sarin said.

 

In August, a man was allegedly killed by his wife after she squeezed his testicles until he fainted and then tied his neck to a bed with a scarf. The woman, who said her husband used to beat her, turned herself in to the police.

 

The Associated Press

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

A goat walked into a bank today. There`s no punchline. A goat really walked into a bank in North Little Rock. Actually he broke in, charging the glass doors at the Bank of America on Broadway. Police responded to the alarm and saw the shattered glass. It wasn`t until they got inside that they realized the damage was caused by a goat.

The goat then broke through another window and police chased it for over 30 minutes around town.

It is now at the North Little Rock animal shelter. No one is claiming him.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

This is

LONDON

10/11/03 - News and city section

 

Brits ready for face off

By Isabel Oakeshott, Evening Standard

 

Ten British people have put their names forward to become the first in the world to undergo a face transplant.

 

Details on plans for the pioneering operation will be announced by surgeons within days.

 

Teams on both sides of the Atlantic are now confident they have the skills to attempt the operation.

 

Surgeons insist the procedure, which involves transplanting an entire face from a corpse to a living person, will only be available for patients with the most severe facial disfigurements - and not as a cosmetic vanity treatment.

 

The team leading the project in the UK hopes to begin carrying out medical and psychological assessments on the 10 possible candidates early next year.

 

But the proposal has already sparked huge controversy, with the Royal College of Surgeons preparing to raise new concerns this week.

 

Their reservations could delay the British team for months - allowing Americans to make the first attempt. A source close to the UK team said: "Things are coming together. It is exciting. There are important hurdles to overcome but things are moving forward."

 

Momentum for the operation is gathering pace after years of painstaking groundwork. Plastic surgeon Peter Butler, who will lead any UK attempt, believes the radical procedure offers remarkable new hope for patients with very severe facial disfigurements, particularly burns.

 

Mr Butler, based at London's Royal Free Hospital, argues that the surgery could transform the lives of patients whose appearance cannot be improved using established techniques.

 

The Royal College of Surgeons set up a working party to consider its views on the operation amid a fierce public debate over the operation earlier this year.

 

In a key report to be published on 19 November, members will highlight a catalogue of concerns - focusing on the huge psychologicaland emotional difficulties patients associated with having a dead person's face.

 

Insiders say it is likely to take months for the British team to address the findings - allowing American colleagues to overtake.

 

The American attempt is being led by John Barker, director of plastic surgery research at Louisville University, in Kentucky.

 

Next week he will fly to London to reveal the latest on his team's progress at a high-profile debate on face transplants to be held at the Science Museum.

 

He said today: "We are very optimistic about being able to go ahead with this operation in the near future."

 

The biggest obstacle for the UK and American teams will be satisfying critics that the procedure is ethical. Although the Royal College does not have the power to block the operation in Britain, its report will form the basis for discussionsby an ethics committee at the Royal Free Hospital, where the proposed face transplant would take place.

 

The committee - made up of doctors and lay members - will advise hospital bosses whether to allow Mr Butler to operate.

 

If they agree, surgeons would carefully remove the face of a donor within 24 hours of death and graft it on to the patient.

 

The survey - expected to be published in a leading medical journal next month - suggests that, in practice, surgeons will have difficulties in finding a suitable donor. A source said: "There aren't many people who like the thought of donating their own face, or agreeing to allow a relative's face to be used."

 

Face transplants have featured in a number of films including the 1997 Hollywood thriller Face/Off, when an FBI agent "borrows" the face of a criminal.

 

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Find this story at http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article...00792?version=1

©2003 Associated New Media

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Jimmy Hoffa myth remains unsolved

 

Discovery Channel search can’t find definitive evidence of Teamster’s body at Giants Stadium

 

 

EAST RUTHERFORD — A long-standing urban myth that the body of James R. Hoffa is entombed somewhere in Giants Stadium will live on, at least a little longer.

 

The Discovery Channel show “Mythbusters” tackled the legend Friday but said it found no definitive proof on whether the story is fact or fiction.

 

“We often don’t come up with definitive proof,” co-host Jamie Hyneman saidn in published reports. “We shed some light on things.”

 

Hyneman and co-host Adam Savage wagged a magnetometer over the end zones to detect “anomalies” beneath the artificial turf.

 

They swept Section 107 — long whispered to be Hoffa’s final resting place — with ground-penetrating radar to collect visual data on what lay beneath.

 

But the pair was reluctant to declare a myth “busted.” They didn’t check the other 119 seating sections, the suites or the majority of the playing field and the press box.

 

Hoffa was living in Lake Orion, Mich., when he disappeared from an Oakland County restaurant parking lot in July 1975. He was declared dead by Oakland County Probate Court in 1983.

 

Since then Hoffa theories have rivaled UFO sightings.

 

“The murder of James R. Hoffa was the most shocking thing organized crime has done in this country,” attorney Edwin H. Stier said.

 

“It shouldn’t be surprising that the memory of it and the legacy of it has lasted so long in our culture,” continued Stier, whose firm has been paid by the Teamsters for its assistance in developing, implementing and enhancing the union’s 1999 internal anti-racketeering program. “There’s a desire to see it resolved.”

 

Hyneman had finished sweeping the visitors’ end zone Friday when the Giants began filtering onto the field for practice.

 

Coach Jim Fassel suggested “Mythbusters” check for a certain Teamsters boss beneath the 10-yard line. For years, Fassel said, there was a bump in the field at that marker. A player even tripped on it and fell.

 

“Everyone believes that’s where Jimmy Hoffa is buried,” Fassel told the crew.

 

The investigative team didn’t turn up anything. Still, the show, which will air in about a month, admits the myth is too strong to completely rule out.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

FULDA, Germany, Nov 8 (AFP) - An American soldier cut off the head of his pregnant wife's lover and put it on her bedside table in the hospital here where she was about to give birth, a spokesman at the German public prosecutor's office said on Wednesday.

The angry husband struck on Tuesday when his rival, a fellow GI in the American 11th cavalry regiment, was phoning the woman from nearby Sickels military airfield.

 

The first soldier cut off the second one's head with a knife, then drove to the hospital and showed it to his wife and left it there. The victim just had time to call down the telephone, "Your husband is coming," the German sources said.

 

An American army spokesman confirmed a decapitated body had been found in a telephone box at the military airfield. U.S. military police held the first man for questioning. He was not immediately named.

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

Gruesome Girl Scout Activity Denounced

 

The 13 girls ages 10 to 12 years old in Girl Scout Troop 34 in Fairbanks, Alaska are killing beavers--learning how to find the animals' dens, laying lethal traps to snare them, and then skinning them--as part of a state flood-management program, reports The Associated Press. That has incensed the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, whose spokeswoman decried the activity, insisting Girl Scouts should be "stewards of wildlife, not abusers." The Girl Scouts don't see it that way.

 

 

The troop participated in the flood-management program at the invitation of Alaska's Department of Fish and Game; such activities are commonplace in Alaska. The state-run program is designed for kids as young as 7 years old. It even has a name: Take a Kid Trapping. The goal is to control flooding and other damage caused by an increasing number of beavers along the lower Chena River in Fairbanks. AP reports that the troop had the pelts tanned, and the girls plan to make hats and mittens once a dozen hides are collected. They're also interested in cooking the beaver meat.

 

 

Trapping has a long history and heritage in the state, so Girl Scout leaders insist this is a "non-issue." "Trapping may not be pretty, but the girls understand the seriousness and huge responsibility of taking a life," Troop 34 leader Dona Boylan told AP. "They understand that when humans impact their environment, they become ultimately responsible for maintaining a healthy population of the animals they have to coexist with in these urban centers."

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

Grapefruit-Sized Hairball In 3-Year-Old

 

A hairball the size of a grapefruit has been removed from the stomach of a 3-year-old girl from Stettler, Alberta who is otherwise healthy and happy, reports the Canadian Press. "It was huge and looked like a dead rat," Cherie Trahan told the news service about the hairball inside her daughter Alyssa Halcrow.

 

 

The mom decided to brave the media and go public with this bizarre story to warn other parents what can happen if their children chew on their hair, something little Alyssa has done for nearly two years. She also enjoys eating string, the stuffing from stuffed animals, and other weird things. Trahan says her daughter suffers from a mild form of autism called pervasive developmental disorder (PPD), and she uses her mouth to identify objects since her other senses are less developed.

 

 

During the summer, Trahan could tell that Alyssa was ill. "She would sleep for four or five days at a time and wouldn't eat," Trahan told the Canadian Press. "She lost two diaper sizes and one shoe size because of weight loss." Doctors were stumped, unable to identify the problem. As Alyssa's condition worsened, she was referred to the University of Albert hospital in Edmonton where the surgery was performed three months ago. Hairballs in children are exceedingly rare, but they can be fatal since they can cause blockage and the stomach to rupture. Alyssa is doing fine now and has even gained weight. Her hair, in case you wondered, has been cut short. Very short.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Sons I gave birth to are 'unrelated' to me

By Roger Highfield

(Filed: 13/11/2003)

 

 

One human chimera came to light when a 52-year-old woman demanded an explanation from doctors after tests showed that two of her three grown-up sons were biologically unrelated to her.

 

Although the woman, "Jane", conceived them naturally with her husband, tests to see if she could donate a kidney suggested that somehow she had given birth to somebody else's children.

 

A study in the New England Journal of Medicine by Dr Margot Kruskall, of the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Centre in Boston, Massachusetts, showed that Jane is a chimera, a mixture of two individuals - non-identical twin sisters - whose cells intermingled in the womb and grew into a single body.

 

Dr Kruskall believes the most likely explanation is that Jane's mother conceived non-identical twin girls, who fused at an early stage of the pregnancy to form a single embryo, according to a report published today in New Scientist.

 

For some reason, cells from only one twin dominate in Jane's blood - used for tissue-typing. In her other tissues, however, including her ovaries, cells of both twins live amicably alongside each other, hence the apparently impossible genetics of her three sons.

 

One son came from an egg derived from the twin whose cells dominate Jane's blood, while his brothers came from eggs derived from the other twin's cells.

 

Around 30 similar instances of chimerism have been reported, and there are probably many more who will never discover their unusual origins. Most chimeras probably go through life unaware of their unusual constitution.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Last week I watched a video showing female ejaculation and, well, damn. First viewing: whoa, what was that? Second viewing: yup, that really happened. Third viewing: I wanna do that! But I haven’t, and neither had any of the women I spoke to in preparing for this article. Damn. So I did some research. Read, assimilate and, if it appeals and you’ve got the proper anatomy, take it home and work on soaking the sheets with fresh loads of girl spunk.

Female ejaculation is not a myth or an invention of the porn industry (though I suspect some productions fake it with squirty dildos or something), and frankly, I’m annoyed that it’s not more commonly discussed. Since scientific research confirmed its existence in the early ‘80s, more and more women have reported experiencing a fluid release of some kind before or during orgasm. It’s kinda hard to know how many women do it; different surveys estimate anywhere from 10 percent to 69 percent of women have at least once. We’ll just say it’s cool if you do and it’s cool if you don’t.

 

So where does the jizz come from, exactly? Folks who research such things agree that at least some of the fluid comes from the periurethral sponge, a.k.a. the G-spot. This tissue is analogous to the male prostate, and similarly, during arousal it gets all engorged and its little tubes fill with fluid very much like the stuff in the prostate. For some women, when the G-spot is properly stimulated, the fluid comes dribbling or spurting out, usually with orgasm.

 

Many sexologists believe that the itty-bitty periurethral glands probably don’t produce more than a few teaspoons of fluid at most and that if women really are spurting half-liters, the rest must come from the bladder. Though one male sexologist likens this “additional” fluid to “watered-down piss,” most scientific studies and laymen testimonials report that it is entirely unlike pee. Weird fact: One study found that women can produce “bladder” ejaculate in a few minutes even if their bladders are emptied right before stimulation and they haven’t been drinking a bunch of fluids! Chemically, ejaculate’s got a different composition than urine, and folks report it as being sweet, fresh-smelling, and so clear that it doesn’t stain.

 

Different women give rather different testimonials about what ejaculation is like. Some report a general release of fluid from the vagina with orgasm, some a distinct feeling of gushing from the urethra, others feel nothing different but find a big ol’ odorless wet spot on the sheets when they’re done. Described scientifically, the stuff should be coming from the urethra (the pee-tube), not the vagina, but some people report vaginal flash floods, so who knows? “The Good Vibrations Guide: The G-spot” points out that, given the wide range in production among women who know they ejaculate (from a quarter teaspoon to almost a quart), it’s probable that most women actually produce some amount of fluid but don’t notice.

 

If you’re curious about learning to squirt noticeably, some ideas: First, don’t focus too much on “achieving” ejaculation—performance anxiety is a sure-fire mojo killer. Second, women with well-toned PC muscles are more likely to squirt (and generally have better orgasms), so do your Kegels regularly. Many women ejaculate only after they’ve “primed the pump” with a few orgasms, others come on their first one. The common theme seems to be extreme arousal and direct G-spot and clitoral stimulation for an extended time. “Jenny Spray” (www.jennyspray.com) says that rubbing a spot directly behind the G-spot creates a vague sensation of needing to pee. She claims that if you do this for awhile while masturbating and flexing your PC muscles, you’ll eventually get a sensation of needing to pee or wanting some sort of release, at which point you should, you know, do it. Put some towels down.

 

In closing, I want to stress that I’m not promoting the absurd idea that some kinds of orgasms are better than others. As finals approach, I think we’ve all got quite enough to worry about without trying to out-squirt porn stars. But you must admit, it’d make a great party trick.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

-------------- She'll Wake Up Feeling Stiff ----------------

 

LOS ANGELES - An 11-year-old girl has taken television-

inspired trends to the limit by asking for, and receiving, a

coffin for her bedroom. A devoted fan of "Buffy The Vampire

Slayer," Naomi Okada told her mother she'd like to redecor-

ate her bedroom and include a real coffin as her bed. Be-

cause she is "such a good kid," her unidentified mother

took the girl casket hunting and she settled on a tapered

black model with crimson interior. But custom coffin-maker

Joey Conzevoy said he was uncomfortable with a child sleep-

ing in a confined space, and suggested she use it for stor-

age. The girl agreed, and work began on the $1,700 box. "A

bed wouldn't have worked because I flop around a lot, and

it would have to be really wide to be comfy," Naomi said.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

NORWAY - Police in Rolvsoey had a busy day on Thursday.

First they were called by horrified passersby who had noti-

ced a cat swinging from a flagpole. After they retrieved

the dead feline, they received a phone call from the owner

of the flagpole who inquired if they had taken care of the

animal. The owner told police that the animal always broke

into his pigeon home and had killed three of his carrier

pigeons earlier that week. He put out a trap for the tabby

to protect his birds and later found the cat dead. "I then

chose to hang the cat from the flagpole so it would be eas-

ier for the owner to find him," he told police. Police only

had the pigeon owner's word that the cat was dead before it

was put up on the flagpole. "We've only kept the cat so it

won't be hanging around," police chief Geir Kristiansen

said.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Attila the Hun, one of the most notorious villains in his-

tory, died from a nosebleed on his wedding night. He gorged

himself on food and drink at the banquet for his wedding

celebration to a young girl named Ildico. He suffered a

nosebleed sometime during the night, but was too drunk to

notice. He drowned in his own blood and was found dead the

following morning.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

BRUSSELS - Former ambulance driver Leo Van Aert was able to

use his handy first aid skills to save the life of one of

his pond fish by using mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Van

Aert was so delighted that his cherished koi would live that

he wanted to name it after one of his grandchildren. He had

been enjoying a party at his residence when his wife noticed

the fish - a spotted Japanese carp - floating on the surface

of the garden pond. The koi was "acting funny," swimming and

jumping before coming to a dead halt in the water. Worried

that the fish had a heart attack, Van Aert pulled it out of

the pond, giving it heart massages before touching his lips

to the fish. "After 15 minutes, the fish started to move

again so I put him in the pond...but when he fell over again

I again applied mouth-to-mouth and heart massages," Van Aert

said. "That's when the fish recovered."

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

YORKSHIRE, England - A ram proud of his sexual exploits has

found a way to inform British intelligence officials of his

routine, the Times of London said Tuesday. Officials at one

of the government intelligence-gathering installations in

northern England's Scarborough region admitted analysts had

been puzzled for months over high-frequency radio transmiss-

ion being picked up from a single antenna. More puzzling was

the fact it only occurred during daylight hours. After ex-

tensive clandestine observation, the answer was found -- a

randy ram who boasted his exploits by grating his horns

against the antenna. Spokesman Bob McNally, said: "It was

part of the ritual that the ram went through after it had

made a conquest. I believe the ram was notching up a mark

on the pylon, so to speak."

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Doctors baffled as Indian man claims not to have eaten for 68 years

 

AHMEDABAD, India (AFP) - An Indian man who claims divine inspiration says he has survived 68 years without eating, drinking or relieving himself, baffling doctors who are unable to prove him an imposter.

 

 

 

Prahlad Jani, a 76-year-old whose extraordinary tale has won him a small band of devotees, took a dare and underwent round-the-clock surveillance at a hospital in Ahmedabad (news - web sites), the commercial capital of the western state of Gujarat.

 

 

Clad in his trademark red sari, bangles and earrings meant to fashion Hindu goddesses, Jani managed to puzzle the Sterling Hospital's 400 doctors.

 

 

Neurologist Sudhir Shah said Jani was under watch for 10 days, with a closed-circuit camera running, and that doctors were convinced he did not break any of his vows, although there was no way of verifying whether Jani has pulled it off for 68 years.

 

 

"He has evidence of the formation of urine, which was reabsorbed on his bladder wall. The medical committee does not have any scientific explanation," Shah said.

 

 

Jani offered an explanation. He said he has been blessed and heard his calling when he was eight years old.

 

 

"I get the elixir of life from the hole in my palate, which enables me to go without food and water," Jani explained to AFP.

 

 

A vindicated Jani left the hospital Saturday and said he was retreating to a cave at Mount Abu in the neighboring desert state of Rajasthan.

 

 

Another doctor, Dinesh Desai, said the hospital hoped to test Jani again to verify his claim of a hole in the palate between his mouth and nose.

 

 

"We may get some answers then," Desai said.

 

 

Shah said it took the hospital more than a year to persuade Jani to undergo surveillance.

 

 

He said he wanted the ascetic to undergo experiments at NASA, as Jani's supposed feat could come in handy for astronauts.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Boy Sold to Restaurant as Dog Meat

 

 

HANOI (Reuters) - Vietnamese drug addicts kidnapped a mute teenager, bundled him in a sack and sold him to a dog-meat eatery as a stray canine, state media said on Saturday.

 

The Gia Dinh Xa Hoi (Family and Society) newspaper said the two addicts grabbed the homeless 13-year-old from a busy market in Halong city.

 

Halong, around 90 miles from the capital, Hanoi, attracts hordes of tourists to its spectacular bay and rock formations, a United Nations heritage site.

 

The kidnappers tied up the boy, bundled him into a sack and sold him to the restaurant for $19, the newspaper said.

 

 

The restaurateur, shocked to find the boy, fed him and released him.

 

 

Police were investigating the case but had made no arrests, said the newspaper, mouthpiece of the state Population, Family and Children Committee.

 

 

Dog meat is a delicacy in parts of China and in some other Asian countries such as Korea, Cambodia, Indonesia and Laos. In Vietnam, eating specifically farmed breeds is believed to bring health benefits and is seen as auspicious.

 

 

Early in November, Thai police rescued more than 800 dogs from smugglers who were taking the animals to Vietnam to sell for meat.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Man changes name to Bubba Bubba Bubba

 

 

Associated Press

Dec. 1, 2003 08:20 AM

 

 

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. - What's in a name? If you're the former Raymond Allen Gray Jr., only one word - Bubba.

 

The 39-year-old Springfield native legally changed his name last month to reflect his childhood nickname. His new first name? Bubba. His new middle name? Bubba. One guess what his new last name is.

 

"I kind of like to laugh and joke, and it's something silly to kind of poke fun with," Bubba Bubba Bubba said.

 

The name change won't be hard to get used to because he has long been known as "Bubba" or "Bubby" Gray, he said.

 

"My dad called me Buddy, and it got switched to Bubby. Some of the kids couldn't pronounce Buddy too well, so they said Bubby, and it just stuck," he said.

 

For years he considered changing his name to Bubba Gray. Then a co-worker in the Illinois Secretary of State's office started calling him Bubba Bubba Bubba in jest. Later another co-worker mistakenly thought that was his real name.

 

"That's kind of what started me thinking: Well, let's just have it all the way through - Bubba Bubba Bubba - first, middle and last," he said.

 

Bubba's new name became official on Nov. 20 and he's already got a new driver's license and work identification card. He sometimes has been asked what his parents, who are now deceased, would think about the change.

 

"I'm sure my dad probably would be shaking his head," Bubba said