Bane & Seven from OVW

[Guest StevieNightHeat]

If anyone didn't know this. Bane & Seven were wrestling at recent house shows, apparently they used the names Tomko & Fertig. TOMKO and FERTIG? why did WWE make them change their names? I actually liked the names Bane and Seven better, it made them sound more like a badass tag team. But, Tomko and Fertig? Who came up with these names? I guess they're not staying with the gothic image they had in OVW.

[Tawren 0]

Probably from the same guy who came up with the name Garrison.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Why not "Sucks" and "Bad" ?? I like names that fit.

[Guest Askewniverse]

Who came up with these names?

In Seven's case, his parents. Kevin Fertig is Seven's real name.

[Slayer 0]

Who came up with these names?

In Seven's case, his parents. Kevin Fertig is Seven's real name.

Same with Tomko, as I believe Tomko is Bane's real last name.

 

Man, if the WWE is calling up players from the Hoss Minor Leagues, the least they could do is make them somewhat interesting... but then again, we know about WWE logic

[The Czech Republic 0]

I've run into my share of problems with both the Tomko and the Fertig. Both of them not only have wayyy too many HP, but always pop up in the forest regions and don't take damage from ice-elemental. Especially when they're in a party with a Rhodox or Fortis. Geez.

[Guest Choken One]

OK...

 

Enough with the REAL NAME craze WWE has got going.

 

Give them names but not shitty names that aren't marketable like Fertig and Tomko.

 

Take their names and slightly alter them, some people luck out and have good real names (Angle, Steiner, etc)...HBK took his real name, altered it to sound better and marketable.

 

Bane and Seven was better.

 

The problem is this, their look is loaded with Tatoos and The goth look yet Tomko and Fertig sound equally as lame as Cade and Jyndrak.

[Guest Frank The Tank]

Why the hell did they change Lance Cade's name to Garrison anyway? JR even calls him Lance every week on Raw.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I can make them marketable.

 

Tomko should be marketed as a forward-minded business executive named Thomas whose company is called TomCo. He specializes in business solutions, networking, and WHOOPIN' ASS~! Catchphrase: "The smart money is on TomCo." T-Shirt: "Executive Secretary Of TomKo: Kickin' Ass and Takin' Names!"

 

As Fertig, he should be known as "Fertile Fertig" and he impregnates every Diva...and then some. Catchphrase: "Fertig is fertile." T-Shirt: "Fertig showed me he was fertile."

[Slayer 0]

Why the hell did they change Lance Cade's name to Garrison anyway? JR even calls him Lance every week on Raw.

Because someone thought it would be a good idea

 

...take that for what you will

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Or he could be a wrestler with a gastro-intestinal problem and wrestlers can go around saying "Who Fertig'd?".

[The Czech Republic 0]

Or he could be a wrestler with a gastro-intestinal problem and wrestlers can go around saying "Who Fertig'd?".

That's even better. Or pronounce it with a French accent and put him with La Resistance.

 

Sylvan Grenier: Hey, voulez-vous be my partner tonight?

Kevin Fertig: Not tonight, I am feeling a little "fair-teeged!"

HHH: (poses, spits water)

 

Money in the bank.

[the pinjockey 0]

I like the idea of Tomko as the business man. But they should make Fertig his friend who was injured in a car accident and is now semi-retarded. Then he can go around saying "Fertig spelled backwards is Gitref" and "Fertig rhymes with Fertig", all while Tomko just looks on and shakes his head.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I like the idea of Tomko as the business man. But they should make Fertig his friend who was injured in a car accident and is now semi-retarded. Then he can go around saying "Fertig spelled backwards is Gitref" and "Fertig rhymes with Fertig", all while Tomko just looks on and shakes his head.

You gave me something BETTER!

 

Make him Jay Sherman's dad!

 

Now my name is not Cooch, it's Coach. Can you say Coach?

Cooch!

I hear you can spell your name backwards.

Gitref!

What's your favorite food in the whole world?

Gitref!

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

They need more retarded wrestlers in the WWE. It's really an area they haven't developed to its full potential. I'm talkin bout Mario Bros school bags, Red hockey helmets, ALF lunch boxes, that "not-quite-there-lookin-off-into-space" look, and of course, he'd come to the ring in a short yellow school bus. Maybe Tomko can be the over-protective brother who acts like there is nothing wrong with Fertig and wants him to live a "normal life" and feuds arise from when other wrestlers try to help him out.

[the pinjockey 0]

Maybe he can even come out with a New Year's Baby 1975 sash on.

[Slayer 0]

These character ideas are funny, even though we all know that's more thought than they'd ever put into their characters

 

Their character depth will consist of yelling a lot while doing the FOUR HOSS MOVES OF DOOM!

[The Czech Republic 0]

They need more retarded wrestlers in the WWE. It's really an area they haven't developed to its full potential. I'm talkin bout Mario Bros school bags, Red hockey helmets, ALF lunch boxes, that "not-quite-there-lookin-off-into-space" look, and of course, he'd come to the ring in a short yellow school bus. Maybe Tomko can be the over-protective brother who acts like there is nothing wrong with Fertig and wants him to live a "normal life" and feuds arise from when other wrestlers try to help him out.

 

retarded Kevin Fertig = Special K! This shit writes itself!

 

"Tonight, on a Very Special Raw, Special K helps Randy Orton learn the true meaning of friendship."

[the pinjockey 0]

On one of his first appearances have him go under the ring while Tomko wrestles. Then when the match is over have someone ask Fertig what he was doing, with the response of "I made a doodie under der".

 

And at some point, I imagine, they would show skits of Fertig in class with Booker T sitting in the desk next to him.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Ok, let's put this all together.

 

Tomko should be marketed as a forward-minded business executive named Thomas whose company is called TomCo. He specializes in business solutions, networking, and WHOOPIN' ASS~! Catchphrase: "The smart money is on TomCo." T-Shirt: "Executive Secretary Of TomKo: Kickin' Ass and Takin' Names!"

 

He has a brother named Fertig who got injured in a car accident and became retarded. He feels partially responsible for the accident and has thus become overly-protective of his brother and will do everything he can do help him lead a "normal life".

 

Fertig doesn't really say much, infact, all he says is "I Fertig'd!" really loudly. However, as days pass he learns more and more about the world.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

AHIOGJkldajgoiasdhjkadlshakjl!~!~!!!!!!!!!1

 

SPECIAL K!

 

OH DEAR GOD!!

 

POST OF THE DAY!@ POST OF THE DASY! POST OF THE DAY!

[Tawren 0]

Ok, let's put this all together.

 

Tomko should be marketed as a forward-minded business executive named Thomas whose company is called TomCo. He specializes in business solutions, networking, and WHOOPIN' ASS~! Catchphrase: "The smart money is on TomCo." T-Shirt: "Executive Secretary Of TomKo: Kickin' Ass and Takin' Names!"

 

He has a brother named Fertig who got injured in a car accident and became retarded. He feels partially responsible for the accident and has thus become overly-protective of his brother and will do everything he can do help him lead a "normal life".

 

Fertig doesn't really say much, infact, all he says is "I Fertig'd!" really loudly. However, as days pass he learns more and more about the world.

Change it from WOOPIN ASS~! to HWOOPIN ASS~!, like a Texan would say it.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Ok, let's put this all together.

 

Tomko should be marketed as a forward-minded business executive named Thomas whose company is called TomCo. He specializes in business solutions, networking, and WHOOPIN' ASS~! Catchphrase: "The smart money is on TomCo." T-Shirt: "Executive Secretary Of TomKo: Kickin' Ass and Takin' Names!"

 

He has a brother named Fertig who got injured in a car accident and became retarded. He feels partially responsible for the accident and has thus become overly-protective of his brother and will do everything he can do help him lead a "normal life".

 

Fertig doesn't really say much, infact, all he says is "I Fertig'd!" really loudly. However, as days pass he learns more and more about the world.

Fertig needs to say "definitely" a lot so as to spark some comparisons to Rain Man.

 

Also, whoever thought of a ring cart resembling the short bus = GENIUS

 

I'd also have him chase Terri around backstage, with him petting her hair and saying "Pretty!" every now and then

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

"We ain't teachin Fertig, Fertig's teachin us"

[the pinjockey 0]

If he is going to be childlike, maybe he should try to get the wrestler's autograph, that his brother is wrestling.

 

In the middle of the match, Tomko could be going for his finisher, but Fertig stops him. Then bugs the opponent to sign his little book.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Tomko: Fertig! How did you get here? I'm trying to wrestle.

Special K: My harness broke.

HHH: (poses, spits water)

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Yeah, each "episode" or feud will have a Fertig helping out another wrestler.

 

*Booker needs his GED*

 

Fertig: YOU CAN DO IT!!

Booker: I can't Fert, I can't!

Fertig: YOU CAN DO IT! DO IT!

Booker: I'm TRYIN. I'm TRYING. It's so HARD though.

Fertig: DON'T GIVE UP! YOU CAN DO IT!

Booker: You're right Fertig! You never give up, so why should I? I'm goin to pass this test and I'm goin to get my diploma. NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT?! FEEERRRTIIIIIGGG!!!

Fertig: FEEERRRTIIIIIIGGGGG!!!

[the pinjockey 0]

"My Harness Broke"

 

That is the hardest I have laughed in weeks.

[Guest JMA]

Why the hell did they change Lance Cade's name to Garrison anyway? JR even calls him Lance every week on Raw.

He also calls The Hurricane "Hurricane Helms" every now and then.

[Tawren 0]

Fertig will have to wear rainbow suspenders.