Tawren Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Fertig's character is deeper than those of the entire Raw roster combined. + all of the Smackdown roster + all of TNA.
The Czech Republic Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Who's with me on retiring this thread?
the pinjockey Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Turn Molly back to her good girl face character. She would be perfect to be the one to fall in love with Fertig, only to find Terri has corrupted him. So she plays the best friend to him, always hoping he will finally see her like she sees him.
RavishingRickRudo Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 How about an appreciation for French Art? Fertig: NO NO NO NO NO! That's THAT that's THAT that's NEO IMPRESSIONISM not NEO CLASSIC! Geez even I know tthhhaaaatt..
The Czech Republic Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Turn Molly back to her good girl face character. She would be perfect to be the one to fall in love with Fertig, only to find Terri has corrupted him. So she plays the best friend to him, always hoping he will finally see her like she sees him. Molly: Hello, Fertig, how are you today? Fertig: Your breasts are the best breasts. Molly: Excuse me?
RavishingRickRudo Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Yeah, we better stop and get this in classics before it gets ruined
Tawren Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Turn Molly back to her good girl face character. She would be perfect to be the one to fall in love with Fertig, only to find Terri has corrupted him. So she plays the best friend to him, always hoping he will finally see her like she sees him. Molly: Hello, Fertig, how are you today? Fertig: Your breasts are the best breasts. Molly: Excuse me? Don't forget that TomCo loves Molly.
The Czech Republic Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Turn Molly back to her good girl face character. She would be perfect to be the one to fall in love with Fertig, only to find Terri has corrupted him. So she plays the best friend to him, always hoping he will finally see her like she sees him. Molly: Hello, Fertig, how are you today? Fertig: Your breasts are the best breasts. Molly: Excuse me? Don't forget that TomCo loves Molly. TomCo loves Molly. Everyone loves Molly. TomCo is everyone. TomCo is God. Fertig is Jesus.
RavishingRickRudo Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Cena can take Fertig to the ghetto and have him hang with all the homeboys and then leave him there as a practical joke... when he returns he finds "Special K" has become accepted into the group and may cross the line by going on a trip to McAuthor Park at night. Tiny Lister guest-stars in a non Zeus role.
Tawren Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Turn Molly back to her good girl face character. She would be perfect to be the one to fall in love with Fertig, only to find Terri has corrupted him. So she plays the best friend to him, always hoping he will finally see her like she sees him. Molly: Hello, Fertig, how are you today? Fertig: Your breasts are the best breasts. Molly: Excuse me? Don't forget that TomCo loves Molly. TomCo loves Molly. Everyone loves Molly. TomCo is everyone. TomCo is God. Fertig is Jesus. So Fertig is TomCo's son AND brother?
RavishingRickRudo Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 That's a perfect "in" for Nowinski as he is trying to hit up Molly.
The Czech Republic Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Turn Molly back to her good girl face character. She would be perfect to be the one to fall in love with Fertig, only to find Terri has corrupted him. So she plays the best friend to him, always hoping he will finally see her like she sees him. Molly: Hello, Fertig, how are you today? Fertig: Your breasts are the best breasts. Molly: Excuse me? Don't forget that TomCo loves Molly. TomCo loves Molly. Everyone loves Molly. TomCo is everyone. TomCo is God. Fertig is Jesus. So Fertig is TomCo's son AND brother? Well TomCo is everyone, so yes.
Slayer Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Who's with me on retiring this thread? Sure, I've never been part of a classic thread before (even though I didn't contribute that much)
RavishingRickRudo Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 So Fertig is TomCo's son AND brother? That's what inbreeding will do...
The Czech Republic Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 You know the funniest part about this is that the real Tomko and Fertig look like Gothic tattooed freaks,
RavishingRickRudo Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 You mean Fertig isn't pasty-white, lanky with messy blackhair and a poorly developed mustache... not to mention unusually large hands and ears?
Tawren Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 You mean Fertig isn't pasty-white, lanky with messy blackhair and a poorly developed mustache... not to mention unusually large hands and ears? Cue Twilight Zone music...
The Czech Republic Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 I just went back to the beginning and re-read the whole thing...oh my God. If I had to sum it up in one sentence, it would be "Special K's harness broke."
the pinjockey Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 I can't wait to see this guy debut and just picture these scenarios with a face attached to them.
The Czech Republic Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 JR: This Fertig and Tomko tandem, what hosses they are! What studs! Us: When is Fertig gonna make poo-pants?
Tawren Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 I can't wait to see this guy debut and just picture these scenarios with a face attached to them. Ditto. He'll be all "GRrr I'm a hoss" and I'll be all "silly retard, Trix are for kids. REAL kids."
RavishingRickRudo Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Shit, now I am looking forward to these two suckfucks to get in the ring.
Tawren Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Shit, now I am looking forward to these two suckfucks to get in the ring. That's what good writing does to you. *pats self on back*
Slayer Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Damn, after reading this, and the kayfabe thread, TCR and RRR appear to be one dangerous writing duo Fear...
The Czech Republic Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 Shit, now I am looking forward to these two suckfucks to get in the ring. Hey Rudo, how's about we recap Raw together? And don't say "How's about you get some brains."
Slayer Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 And all the talk of retards reminded me of this classic column written by Josh Grutman at 411
RavishingRickRudo Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 It's amazing how in about an hour we came up with more ideas for two characters than the WWE writing team has in a year for the whole roster.... and they were actually better. Disturbing... truly, truly, truly disturbing... but still better.
Slayer Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 It's amazing how in about an hour we came up with more ideas for two characters than the WWE writing team has in a year for the whole roster.... and they were actually better. Disturbing... truly, truly, truly disturbing... but still better. We need to get jobs as actual writers for the fed, even if only for a short time, so let's apply for a job and get past the interview process by pretending to hate wrestling and being totally ignorant about its history "Triple H is the greatest wrestler ever... big men make the best wrestlers... internet fans are evil..." Then when we get on the inside, gradually unleash our madness on the writing room Of course, we'll be back collecting county checks in a week, but it'll be fun anyway
The Czech Republic Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 let's apply for a job and get past the interview process by pretending to hate wrestling and being totally ignorant about its history "Triple H is the greatest wrestler ever... big men make the best wrestlers... internet fans are evil..." Then when we get on the inside, gradually unleash our madness on the writing room Of course, we'll be back collecting county checks in a week, but it'll be fun anyway You know that Jason Fertig guy? I had an idea or two, let's see where we can take this...(laughs to self)
RavishingRickRudo Posted November 9, 2003 Report Posted November 9, 2003 I'd be up for writing Raw recaps... of course, I have night school until 9:30 and don't get home by at least 10:15 and miss half the show... but that doesn't matter... how long would they have to be in by???
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