SWF Storm for Friday, November 21st!

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BOOM!!

 

BOOM!!

 

BOOM!!

 

BOOM!!

 

And just like that, SWF Storm hits the airwaves, complete with huge pyrotechnics and theme music. The fans are completely and utterly amped for this first show following the Ashes II Ashes PPV, and the camera pans them to find many signs.

 

(Comet) – Good citizens!! We are coming to you live from the Key Arena in Seattle, Washington…This is SWF STORM!!! Along side my shifty-eyed sidekick, Bobby Riley, I am your friendly neighborhood superhero turned announce, Cyclone Comet!! We are less than a week removed from an epic Ashes II Ashes PPV, and we should feel all the fallout from that historic evening tonight on Storm!

 

(Riley) – You said it Comet! I mean, Wildchild, finally overcoming his situation with Ejiro Fasaki and scoring the win for his team in the survivor style main event last Sunday…you know he has to feel very good about that!

 

(Comet) – No doubt about it…also, we saw the return of Annie Eclectic spoiled by the monster Janus, not to mention Xstasy’s triumph over the man-beast, Bastion. Speaking of Bastion and that matchup, what about the return of…

 

Darkness silences Comet…

 

(Riley) – What’s this?

 

An electric guitar hits the arena speakers and the fans begin to cheer the familiar sound made famous so long ago.

 

“They don’t know…”

“Who we be!”

 

(Comet) – Wait a minute!!

 

“They don’t know…”

“Who we be!”

 

(Riley) – Speak of the devil!!

 

“What they don’t know is…”

 

KA-BOOOOOOOOM!!!!

 

A wall of fire erupts on the stage, leaving a path at the entrance, as “Who We Be” by DMX blares over the speakers. The fans explode as the fire burning indicates one thing…he is back…and he’s ready to fight!

 

(Comet) – I can’t believe it!! The Hville Thugg…back in the SWF! Last night, he shocked everyone by attacking his brother Bastion…

 

(Riley) – The same brother that tried to put him out for good at Genesis, I might add.

 

(Comet) – Right you are Bobby. But, he shocked all of us with that, and tonight, to kick things off, I think we’re going to find out everything behind those actions…and more.

 

HVT strolls from behind the curtain to a tremendous pop from the crowd. He stands between the flame for a hot second, and the hikes purposefully towards the ring, a scowl on his face, rage in his blood, and hate in his heart.

 

(Comet) – He did say that he’d be back, but who knew he’d be back this soon.

 

(Riley) – I guess his surgery went well, but is he back to compete or did he just come back to dispose of his brother. And how come no one has mentioned that fact that he’s the one that unleashed that menace on the federation?

 

(Comet) – I don’t think he meant it to turn out like that…

 

Thugg reaches the ring and obtains a microphone from the ring attendant. The crowd silences and sits at attention as Thugg addresses them…

 

(HVT) – YO!!

 

“YO!”

 

(HVT) – Yeah...so…I know y’all seen Ashes II Ashes last Sunday, right? I know y’all seen Wildchild get out on Ejiro Fasaki…that joint was phat. But, you know what was hotter…the return of the Hville Thugg!

 

RAAAAAA!!

 

(HVT) – Damn right! And that shit felt good too…I know ain’t nobody believe me when I said I’d be back to take care of my brother…but I did yo. I but that bitch down…for good.

 

(Comet) – Does that mean no more Bastion?

 

(HVT) – See yo, he forgot that if it weren’t for me…he wouldn’t never been here…he’d probably be up in da pen somewhere takin’ it up da ass from some cell mate named Bubba.

 

(Riley) – I dunno…I think Bastion might have been the huge cell mate raping smaller prisoners.

 

(Comet) – Ewwww!

 

(HVT) – But, I proved to him that I brought him here…and can take him out…and that’s exactly what I did yo! So…what does this mean?? I know y’all been askin’…so now what? Is Thugg back? Will he fight Bastion at the Xmas PPV?

 

RAAAAA!!

 

(HVT) – Please…fuck no. Now, I’d gladly blast his shit all over again, like I done for so long, but I know my brother…and he ain’t comin’ round no more. Last I heard, he just dipped out…off somewhere doing something…so there’ll be no final brother to brother matchup. Besides, I did what I wanted to do…so fuck him. He’s done…finished…and as far as I’m concerned, after what he did to me at Genesis…I have no mutha fuckin’ brother. I got my revenge, and if he ever shows his face round here again, I’ll split his grill again!

 

(Comet) – Wow! Thugg has totally disowned his brother!

 

(Riley) – Well, he was kind of a jerk…

 

(Comet) – But still, that’s his brother.

 

(HVT) – But yo…I know people been askin’ if I’m back for good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(HVT) – Ya damn right yo! Da Thugg is back…the Angry Black Man is up in dis bitch again, and yo…it’s on! But for real, I’m kinda glad Bastion did what he did. He showed me exactly what I needed to see. I’d gone soft…I was being a pussy…hangin’ round with Mark Stevens…talkin’ bout political bullshit. That ain’t me…that ain’s the Hville Thugg. So…bump dat shit. I’m done wit all that. Fuck the stocks…fuck the politics…and fuck the commissioner!

 

BOOOO!

 

(HVT) – Fuck you…you ain’t gotta like it. Y’all mutha fuckas know I ain’t got no love for Mark Stevens…and as long as he stays outta my way, he won’t get his head busted open. You can be mad if you want, but everyone knows that I made this place what it is. I’m sittin’ round watchin’ bitches like Tom Flesher, The Boston Strangler, and TNT get what’s mine. Are you fuckin’ kidding me? What the fuck happened to this place? I know, I know…I was here being a bitch…but that shit’s over wit. And now, I want what’s mine…cause if it weren’t for me, there wouldn’t be no fuckin’ SWF. I carried this fuckin’ place. And now that I’m back…all y’all bitches is gonna lie down or get beat down. It’s just that fuckin’ simple. I don’t give a fuck no more…I’m bustin’ heads…I don’t care if you’re a fan favorite or the biggest bad ass around…you’re gonna get wrecked, plain and simple. Who gonna tell me different? Strangler? Fasaki? Fuckin’ Tom Flesher? Yeah, whatever…I eat chumps like them for breakfast. Back when I was active, couldn’t noboby round here touch me…and you know yo, ain’t shit changed! Can’t nobody in dis fuckin’ building touch me….nobody! Bring ‘em all…and watch dem all catch a beat down just like Bastion last Sunday. Y’all mutha fuckas forget…I retired Rane…I retired Chris Wilson the first time…and how many other bitches did I injure, totall destroy? Y’all mutha fucka’s forget…I started all the record breaking world title reigns. I started that shit. But you know what? Fuck that…I ain’t interested in breakin’ records…I’m interested in fuckin’ people up. All y’all that slept on Thugg…y’all besta wake the fuck up…cause I’m comin’ for ya. Cause ain’t nobody, nowhere, that can beat me…no one!

 

(Comet) – Wow! Thugg’s pissed and very full of himself.

 

(HVT) – For real yo…fuck it! I dare someone to come out here and step to me! Anybody! I dare someone to step out here and claim they can stop me…

 

(Riley) – He’s callin’ out the whole locker room!!

 

(HVT) – C’mon bitches…who thinks they can fuck wit me? Who thinks they can last in the ring wit Thugg? Who want some of Thugg?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“STRANGLER”

 

(Comet) – THERE’S YOUR ANSWER THUGG!!!

 

The fans explode as “Godzilla” hits the speakers and The Boston Strangler steps onto the stage, a microphone in hand.

 

(TBS) – What’s that you say Thugg? You say no one can beat you? I seem to remember quite a few people puttin’ your fat ass down.

 

(HVT) – Oh…hell yeah. The Boston Strangler…looks like somebody’s got some balls back there. Glad to see you steppin’ up…too back you’re bout to get put back in your mutha fuckin’ place when I beat dat ass.

 

(TBS) – Whoa, whoa…I got my own shit to worry about Thugg. I just came out here to get you to shut the hell up. You’re right…back in the day, you were the man. Nobody could beat you. But…BUT! This is a new day, and round here…you ain’ the man no more. And you’re gonna have to prove to these people…and to me…that you still got it old man.

 

(HVT) – Old man? Old man? Bitch, I was puttin’ people in coffins before your bitch ass even knew what the hell a ring was. I can see in your face that you know you can’t beat me…hell, no one can. And since you stepped up, that means you gotta get beat down.

 

(TBS) – Like I said…I ain’t come out here to fight you Thugg. I’ll even admit that I even looked up to you when I was comin’ up in the JL…you were the premier big man in the federation. And I still got nothin’ but respect for ya. But now…you just sound like a whiny bitch! It’s really sad.

 

The crowd pops.

 

(TBS) – And…since, according to you, Bastion is gone…that means I ain’t got shit to do tonight. And since by match with Bastion is canceled, I have no problem taking out my aggressions on the legend, Hville Thugg. But when all’s said and done…and you’re face up on the mat…and my hand is raised…you’ll know that I’m better than you…and maybe then…you’re shut the fuck up!

 

(HVT) – OH…for real yo…shut me up! I beg you dogg…shut me up! Bring dat shit! Don’t bring some of it…bring all of it. Cause when we step in the ring, I’m gonna bend you over and rape you like you was my bitch…don’t think I’ll go easy on you cause you said some respect shit…you ain’t shit but another one of dem bitches from the back that’s turned my federation into bullshit. And I’m gonna make you pay. So, Strangler…say your mutha fuckin’ prayers…cause I’m gonna put you six feet deep when I…WRECK…

 

 

 

 

YOUR…

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHIT!

 

(HVT) – Holla.

 

“Who We Be” starts back up and the two hosses stare at each other, one on the stage and one in the ring.

 

(Comet) – Looks like Bastion versus Strangler has just turned into Strangler versus the Hville Thugg!

 

(Riley) – How about that! I can’t wait!

 

(Comet) – Let’s look at the rest of the card…

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Card:

 

Linchpin vs. "The Sinner" John Duran

Umm... who the heck is this guy? Well, whoever he is he apparently impressed Commissioner Stevens sufficiently to give him a match here in the SWF! But John Duran is not about to just let any jobber go over him in a curtain jerker, no less! No, it is a carved-in-stone face that Linchpin's path to recognition will go through the back alleys of PAIN.

Rules: Standard singles match, DQs and etc apply.

 

 

Charlie "Grappler" Matthews vs. Annie "Ichiban" Onita

I think it can safely be said that a week ago no one thought this match would be on the card here. Well, truth be told the Commissioner is less than certain as to what he should do with these two, and he is hoping that a match or two might aid him in making that decision.

Rules Standard singles match, DQs and etc apply.

 

 

The Boston Strangler vs. The Hville Thugg

One giant has reawakened. The other may have stumbled a bit as of the PPV, as even giants can run into someone bigger than them. Can TBS focus his rage at Taylor into a win here, or will Bastion's rage at the reemergence of his brother prove to be the hotter flame?

Rules: Standard singles match, DQs and etc apply.

 

 

Handcuff Match for the U.S. Title

Johnny Dangerous vs. Va'aiga

The Maori Badass is red hot. He is coming off of a big win over Danny Williams and he has decided now is the time to cash in on his contendership to the US Title, currently held by one Mr. Dangerous. Johnny is coming off of the draining Survivor Series match after all. That belt is so close that Va'aiga can almost taste it. But the spy has one or two tricks up his sleeve yet, as the odd stipulation shows...

Rules: no dq, no countouts. suspended above on turnbuckle on a pole is a pair of handcuffs. the first person to get to them can place them on his opponent and go to town. you win by pin or submission, so just because your opponent is handcuffed does not mean he can't win. the ref does have the key, but will not use it himself until the bell has rung.

 

 

Fatal Fourway for the #1 Contendership to the World Title

"The Franchise" Mak Francis vs. Ejiro Fasaki vs. Xstasy vs. Michael Craven

A returning hero. A villain who conquered the world champion. A man torn between bitterness and righteous anger. The perennial champion of the immoral majority. All these men have earned a chance at the title in one way or another, either recently or long ago. Commissioner Stevens is willing to admit that he isn't perfect, and even to say that he may have erred on the side of caution in his desire to reassure everyone to his unbiased regime. But the road to the champion is only wide enough for one man at this time... who will it be?

Rules: non-elimination, first pinfall or submission wins. all four men in the ring at once.

 

 

MAIN EVENT

WORLD TITLE SINGLES MATCH

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs. Erek Taylor

The time has come. Taylor won the right, and Flesher must defend. He may not have wanted to do it at A2A, but the sand has run out. Each man went through the grueling Survivor Series match at the PPV, and now they wrestle alone for the richest prize in the game! But now more than ever the hungry wolves wait outside the champion's door. Winning may not be the blessing it would seem to be...

Rules: Standard rules, DQ and countouts in effect.

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The SWF cameras are poised and ready for the first match of the night as the fans in the Key Arena continue to buzz following the opening promo from Bastion. The buzz is all that can be heard in the Seattle arena before a deep beat rips over the announce system, the crowd getting to their feet and looking towards the entranceway to see who is coming down to the ring. "What Is Fight Club" by the Dust Brothers continues to wallop its slick beat through the air, the newcomer Linchpin moving through the curtain as the drums kick in, looking cool, calm and collected as he nods his head to the beat of the song, looking around at all the fans with the slightest smile on his face before moving down to the ring, adjusting his black fingerless gloves; Riley and Comet join us on commentary.

 

"And we're back on Storm from The Evergreen State, as our first match of the night is ready to be put on display for us all! Comet, I know thinking is uncommon for you, but what do you have to say for our opening match tonight?"

 

"Citizen Robert, I have been doing some thinking, and I'm curious to see what Mr. Linchpin is all about."

 

Funyon interrupts the announcers, "Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from parts unknown and weighing in at two hundred and nineteen pounds, he is PUBLIC..ENEMY..NUMBER ONE, LINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCHPIN!"

 

Linchpin receives a warm reception from the crowd as he reaches the ring steps, taking each one deliberately, nonchalantly slipping his jacket off his shoulders and hanging it on the ring post before stepping in between the ropes and into the ring.

 

"Well, Comet, I agree, we have seen some reports about what Linchpin has been showing in the past, but John Duran is certainly not going to go down without a fight, especially considering that he hasn't won a match since the 22nd of October!"

 

"What Is Fight Club" cuts out and "Sinner" by Drowning Pool replaces it, its hard beat thumping through the night air, the crowd attempting to snuff the sound out with boos of disgust towards Duran as "The Sinner" himself steps through the curtain, sporting a determined look on his face, and seeming in the mindset of wanting a brutal fight.

 

"Speaking of Citizen Duran, here he comes now!"

 

"And his opponent," Funyon begins, "weighing in at two hundred and sixty-five pounds, hailing from Champaign, Illinois...he is THE SINNER...JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

 

"This former SJL World Champion wants desperately to get into a title chase in the SWF, and while beating this newcomer to the federation might not be the ticket that he is looking for, it will certainly get the monkey that has been on his back ever since his handicap match win with Quiz over The Boston Strangler!"

 

"And I don't think he can really consider that a win, Citizen Robert, considering that Citizen Strangler was definitely worried about other things--most notably Mr. Taylor--when that match occurred. It will surely be interesting to see what he does in the ring tonight."

 

Duran moves down to the ring with a swift step in his walk, not bothering to acknowledge the fans flipping him the middle finger and taunting Duran, trying to get a response out of him but getting nothing from John as he looks straight towards the ring, stepping up onto the apron and into the ring, staring the considerably smaller Linchpin down. The referee having seen that things are all ready to go, he turns to the timekeeper and calls for the bell to begin the match.

 

DING DING DING!

 

Almost immediately, John Duran charges out of the corner, catching Linchpin unaware with a steady clothesline that at least knocks Linchpin off his feet.

 

"Well, that certainly didn't take too long for 'The Sinner' to get in the swing of things here on Storm."

 

"I'm shocked that Citizen Duran didn't just attack Linchpin outright as soon as he entered the ring. Could Mr. Sinner be showing some restraint?"

 

"When pigs fly, Comet."

 

Linchpin gives up almost fifty pounds to Duran, but he does not stay down long from the clothesline, getting right back up to his feet and standing toe to toe with Duran. Duran notices the resiliency of the newcomer and returns to staring him down, almost daring Linchpin to make a move. Duran has no clue what comes next: A solid right hand whacking him across the face, a resounding WHACK echoing through the Key Arena.

 

"OOOOOOH!"

 

The crowd reacts to the hard slap that Linchpin delivers to Duran, and "The Sinner" rolls his head to the right with the slap, reaching a hand up to feel the area which has just been disgraced by the small Linchpin, the fury already brewing in John's eyes. Linchpin shows no sign of backing down, however, bringing his left hand around, clenched this time, and striking Duran in the face with it. Duran staggers back from the blow, a bit shocked.

 

"My my my, Citizen Linchpin sure does pack a punch!"

 

"What the hell is this? There's no way that John could have prepared for this little runt."

 

"Excuse you, Citizen Robert, this little runt is packing a punch, no doubt."

 

Duran snaps after being hit with the left hand, charging again at Linchpin and trying to clothesline him back down to the ground, but Duran pays for his foolishness as "Public Enemy Number One" easily dodges the lumbering Duran, moving behind John and turning him around quickly and moving to the left of Duran, standing almost face to face with "The Sinner," putting his left arm across John's chest and his left leg behind Duran's left, and in one swift motion, like a lightning bolt, sweeping Duran's legs out from under him and taking Duran's muscular build down to the mat, the well-dressed criminal taking his opponent down to the cheers of the crowd.

 

"Very smooth S.T.O. from Linchpin, as Duran's rage is being transformed into his downfall!"

 

"Citizen Duran needs to put the past matches behind him if he wants to succeed in this match, it's hard to carry on in the ring when you've got the weight of so many recent losses on your shoulders."

 

Linchpin rises to his feet, bending down and bringing "The Sinner" with him, hoisting John up to a vertical base before stepping slightly to the side and extending a hand, slamming it against Duran's chest!

 

WHACK!

 

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Duran recoils from the sharpness of the chopping blow delivered by Linchpin, moving slightly back towards the corner as Linchpin sizes up his opponent again.

 

WHACK!

 

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Duran is close to the turnbuckles now and practically falls back into their good graces, but he's been chopped into a corner now and Linchpin isn't finished yet.

 

WHACK!

 

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"It's quite amazing that Linchpin already has the fans behind him."

 

"Well, when Citizen Linchpin is facing a man like Mr. Duran, it's hard not to cheer for the protagonist, in this case the mysterious criminal."

 

"That boggles my mind, Comet. How can you cheer for a criminal against a sinner?"

 

"Devout Catholic, Citizen Robert, I'm a devout Catholic. Strong to my cause."

 

"...Astonishing. And yet pointless at the same time."

 

Duran is now fully in the corner, Linchpin grabbing one of his arms and whipping him across the ring, Duran awkwardly moving towards the opposite corner in a pained daze, his back slamming against the turnbuckles as he staggers his way back towards the center of the ring. Linchpin meets him right there smack dab in the center of the ring, however, leaping up into the air and connecting with a picture-perfect dropkick, the soles of Linchpin seeming to hit a bulls eye right on the center of John's face, taking "The Sinner" down to the mat once again! This time, Linchpin moves over Duran's body, laying on the lateral press as the referee falls to the mat, counting the first pinfall of the match!

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO...KICKOUT!

 

"And Duran kicks out after a count of two, but things are definitely not looking good for 'The Sinner' as of this point in the match."

 

"Citizen Duran is taking a beating out of there, and it's hard to tell why, and I think most fans will agree with me when they question why Citizen Sinner isn't tossing Mr. Linchpin around like a lawn dart. Bobbo, it's insane! John-o has a five-inch advantage over his opponent, not to mention an exactly forty-six pound difference!"

 

"Believe me, Comet, I'm as stunned as you are, I don't think we've ever seen Duran quite as determined in the SWF as he is right now, and yet he is being tagged by this newcomer to the fed!"

 

Linchpin rises to his feet after the pinfall attempt, bringing Duran to his feet to inflict more damage on “The Sinner,” but Duran reaches out his hand and brings it across the eyes of Linchpin, raking them and sending “Public Enemy Number One” down to the mat!

 

“And the tables turn,” Riley exclaims.

 

Linchpin holds his eyes as the referee scolds Duran, warning him not to do that again. Linchpin swings his right hand blindly, trying to connect with Duran but “The Sinner” is able to dodge it as “Mr. Silver” tumbles forward, catching a kick in the midsection as John puts his opponent in a front facelock. Duran quickly snaps back, falling towards the mat and driving Linchpin head first into the mat, spiking him with a DDT!

 

“I’ll give Citizen Linchpin some credit, he definitely tried to keep control of the match after that blatant cheating from Duran—“

 

“SIN TO WIN, BABY!”

 

“Indeed, Bobbo.”

 

Duran stays on the mat with Linchpin, rolling him over onto his back and wrapping his hand around Linchpin’s throat, pressing down on his Adam’s apple as the crowd boos loudly! The referee gets down to the mat, telling Duran to break it and, failing that, beginning a five count.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Duran’s hand remains firmly around Linchpin’s throat, and the referee continues, now pulling on the arm of Duran to remove it.

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

Finally, Duran releases the illegal chokehold, backing away from Linchpin as he blows off another talking to from the referee, the crowd continuing to boo “The Sinner.”

 

“Alright, Johnny, you’re doing the sinning, now get to winning!”

 

“I hate to admit it, but once Citizen Duran brings out that explosive offense of his, it’ll be all over for Mr. Pin!”

 

Linchpin is still tending to his aching throat after having been compressed like so much garbage, but as soon as the referee gets out of Duran’s face, Duran goes over to the downed opponent, bringing him up off the mat and almost immediately throwing the small Linchpin into the ropes. Before Linchpin has even rebounded off the ropes, Duran has ran to the opposite ropes, and as Linchpin comes back to the center of the ring, Duran is running to meet him, and they both collide at the same time, with the bigger Duran easily winning the collision, sending Linchpin right back down to the mat.

 

“BIG running shoulderblock from Duran,” Riley begins, “and there’s that explosive offense that you just mentioned, Comet!”

 

“Told ya so.”

 

Duran stands over Linchpin, staring down at him in disgust for a moment, as Duran goes into the ropes, lining himself up with Linchpin’s head and upon reaching it, leaping up into the air and extending his leg out, coming down hard and draping it across the already sore neck of Linchpin, nailing a textbook legdrop. The crowd boos Duran as he swings his body around on Linchpin’s for the cover, pinning the shoulders down as the ref falls to the mat, watching Linchpin carefully as he counts the pinfall.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

KICKOUT!

 

Linchpin is able to get the muscular frame of Duran off his shoulders before the count of three, the crowd cheering as a John Duran win is at least delayed.

 

"Linchpin’s neck is receiving a beating for right now, but as a hardened criminal, it’ll take some work to bring Linchpin down, no matter how small he is!”

 

Duran seems more frustrated than usual after a failed pinfall attempt, looking barely able to keep his composure as he stands, bringing “Mr. Silver” up to his feet as well. Linchpin is still fairly dazed and clutching his neck, allowing “The Sinner” to take this advantage and pin him up in the corner. Duran backs away from the corner, sizing up “Public Enemy Number One” before bending over and charging at him, Duran’s shoulders poised on a crash course with Linchpin’s ribs…

 

“Here comes Duran with the spear! Get ready for impact!”

 

“Oh my! If Citizen John can hit this, not only will Citizen Linchpin’s ribs be in pain, but the whiplash of the move will continue to work on the neck of Mr. Pin!”

 

…but the spear misses! Linchpin moves out of the way of the oncoming Duran, and John himself is barely able to stop before his momentum sends him flying into the hard ringpost instead of soft human flesh.

 

“A couple of close calls there from both men, as both are unscathed right now…”

 

Duran turns around, infuriated, and charges again, remaining in the position for a spear and attempting to take Linchpin down hard again, but “Mr. Silver” uses his speed advantage, side-stepping the charging Duran and this time hitting the mat, leaving his legs outstretched and capturing Duran’s moving legs between them, hitting a drop toe hold as Duran hits the mat face-first! As soon as Duran’s face hits the mat, Linchpin leaps up, moving over to the head of “The Sinner” and placing both feet on either side of John’s head. “Public Enemy Number One” proceeds to lock Duran’s head in an ankle scissors, compressing the head of his challenger! The crowd squeals and cheers with delight as Duran is trapped in a submission!

 

“Look at this, ladies and gentlemen, Linchpin has rendered Duran useless with an ankle scissors!”

 

“Citizen Duran better be looking for the ropes…”

 

Duran doesn’t go for the ropes immediately, too focused on the pain thumping through his skull, Linchpin looking down on the back of Duran’s head with a cocky smile on his face, the crowd enjoying every minute of it…until Duran reaches out his right leg in desperation and manages to just barely drape a part of his black boot across the bottom rope!

 

“Phew! Duran lives to see another day!”

 

“Yes, but he’ll have a monster of a headache.”

 

The crowd boos as the referee asks Linchpin to release the ankle scissors. After a moment, Linchpin complies, much to the chagrin of the Seattle men, women, and children in attendance. Linchpin steps away from Duran’s downed body before turning to him again, bringing up his foot and then crashing it down onto the back of Duran’s head with a brutal stomp! The crowd is back into it again as Linchpin unleashes a series of stomps, beating on the already aching head of Duran, as the crowd gets behind Linchpin! Finally, Linchpin seems to be done letting out his frustration all over the back of Duran’s head, backing away again and bending down to bring Duran to a vertical base. As soon as Duran is on his feet, he pushed Linchpin away in a daze. Unfazed, Linchpin gets right back up near Duran and hits him with a resounding slap!

 

“OOOH!”

 

“Look at that disrespectful Linchpin! It’s only his first match in the SWF, and he’s already disgracing a wrestler who has earned his way here? Linchpin didn’t even come through the Junior Leagues, what right does he have to be slapping ‘The Sinner’ around?”

 

“Let’s face it, Bobbo, Duran earned his slaps. He’s been in a terrible rut lately, and if anything, the slaps should help him!”

 

No sooner was that said than Linchpin uncorked another slap, but this one didn’t quite work like Linchpin planned, as Duran’s head doesn’t even move, staring brutally at Linchpin. “Public Enemy Number One” attempts to strike Duran once again, but this time, John grabs Linchpin’s hand and buries his boot into Linchpin’s midsection, a boot filled with desperate anger. Linchpin doubles over, holding his stomach as Duran locks on a front facelock, turning around with his back to the middle of the ring and then lifting Linchpin in the air, swiftly falling backwards and taking Linchpin with him, hitting a big vertical suplex that sends both men to the mat!

 

“By-the-book vertical suplex from Duran, not a very high impact move against a criminal.”

 

“And a well-dressed one, no less!”

 

“Right you are, Comet.”

 

Duran gets right back to his feet, not letting Linchpin rest. Linchpin tries to fire a right hand in retaliation, determined to take advantage of the match again, but another boot to the midsection silences “Mr. Silver” as he is put into a standing headscissors by “The Sinner.” Duran wraps his arms around the waist of Linchpin and then lifts Linchpin in the air upside down once again, his head dangling under the legs of “The Sinner” as Duran rocks back towards the mat, slamming down Linchpin’s head into the mat with a booming THUD, the crowd moaning in surprise at just how hard the piledriver is hit.

 

“There goes Citizen Duran again, working on that neck! How much more can Citizen Linchpin take before he is finally forced to give in to the extreme pressure being put on his neck.”

 

“I hate to say it out loud, but you’re forgetting that Duran has a terrible pain in his head, thumping away at him. I don’t know if that is distracting him from this offensive tirade or if it is just making him stronger, but after that impressive ankle scissors, it’s really hard to tell, Comet!”

 

Instead of going for a cover, Duran gets up with a gruff look on his face, once again bringing Linchpin up by his arm. As soon as “Public Enemy Number One” reaches a vertical base, John immediately sends him bounding into the ropes. Duran stands there, poised and ready as Linchpin rebounds off the ropes. Duran catches him as soon as they meet, bringing Linchpin into the air and roaring right back down to the mat with a deafening spinebuster!

 

“My God, Comet, I think I heard Linchpin’s spine crack with that spinebuster slam!”

 

NOW Duran goes for the cover, putting on the lateral press and hooking the leg as the referee swings around and counts the pinfall.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NO!!!! LINCHPIN KICKS OUT!

 

Duran is beside himself as he glares at the referee, wondering how it COULDN’T be a three count.

 

“Well, there you go, Citizen Robert, I think the reason that wasn’t a three was because Duran is losing focus. If he would’ve hit a move that focused on the neck – his chokeslam or even the Ultimate Sin, he would have this match won!”

 

“Wait a second, what is Duran doing now?”

 

Duran leaves the ring and immediately goes over to the timekeeper’s table, pushing Funyon out of his seat and stealing his chair, bringing it to the ring with him.

 

“No! Duran is going to do to Linchpin what he did to Johnny Dangerous just a couple of weeks ago!”

 

“This is a foolish mistake by Citizen Duran! What will he accomplish from this but just another loss?”

 

Duran slides into the ring, chair in hand as the ref warns him not to use it with a risk of disqualification. Duran completely ignores the ref as Linchpin rises to his feet. Linchpin reaches his feet and doesn’t even see Duran as he cocks back the chair and goes to swing at the rookie’s head…

 

…until the referee traps the chair between his hands!

 

Duran turns around to face the referee, as the referee rips the chair out of Duran’s hands! The crowd roars with approval as the ref throws the chair to the outside and tells Duran to fight fair! Duran goes to say something…but Linchpin rolls Duran up from behind as the ref counts the pin with Seattle going nuts!

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NOOOOOOOO! DURAN KICKED OUT!

 

The crowd groans in disappointment, and “The Sinner” is stunned at what just happened! Linchpin rolls to his feet, as John rises to one knee, his face down and his knee pointing right at Linchpin! “Public Enemy Number One” sees an opportunity and takes it, going to the corner and catching Duran unaware as he runs towards him!

 

“This is it! He’s going to go for the 52! Citizen Linchpin has this won!”

 

“NO,” Riley screams.

 

Linchpin appears ready to leap upon the knee of Duran…

 

…JUST AS THE SINNER RISES UP AND CLAMPS A HAND AROUND LINCHPIN’S THROAT!

 

The crowd lets out a clear cut “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” that makes it hard to think in the Key Arena as Duran seems to almost have smoke coming out of his nostrils, stepping towards the middle of the ring as the ref tells him to break the illegal choke, and Duran breaks it by lifting Linchpin up into the air! Duran thrusts his arm down, sending Linchpin down, down, down…

 

BOOM

 

Duran releases the chokeslam about halfway down and just lets Linchpin fall, “Mr. Silver”’s head thumping against the mat hard as the crowd is now flipping Duran the middle finger and booing him with much conviction.

 

“Listen to this crowd, Bobbo, they’ve lost it, Linchpin was SO CLOSE!”

 

Duran signals for the end, which only makes the crowd more riled up, letting the boos echo back and forth along the Key Arena’s spacious roof as “The Sinner” picks up his opponent, immediately putting him in a standing headscissors!

 

“YES! YES! THE ULTIMATE SIN! HERE IT COMES,” Riley shouts with glee.

 

Duran bends down, wrapping his arms around Linchpin and lifting the light heavyweight up with ease, hefting him onto Duran’s broad shoulders and spreading out Linchpin’s arms in the crucifix position. Linchpin’s eyes look glazed over as Duran hoists Linchpin in the air by his arms, “Mr. Silver” likely having no idea what is happening to him until Duran pushes Linchpin up into the air, grabbing his legs and coming down to the mat.

 

WHAM

 

The ring shudders with the impact of the Ultimate Sin as Duran sits down with Linchpin in his grasp, the force of the mat slamming into Linchpin’s neck.

 

“This match is over,” Riley declares, and Comet agrees.

 

Duran stretches out his legs, pinning down Linchpin’s shoulders as he yells at the referee to get down and count, which the man in stripes soon does.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

DING DING DING!

 

“YES,” Riley shrieks.

 

“Sinner” strikes up again as Funyon makes the announcement.

 

“The winner of this match via pinfall, JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”

 

Duran rolls out of the ring, seemingly satisfied with himself as he doesn’t waste any time, going right to the backstage area.

 

“Well, that’ll do it for this match, folks, Linchpin made a damn impressive showing tonight, but in the end, Duran just overpowered him!”

 

“Citizen Linchpin will live to see another day, and Citizen Duran still has some problems. He needs to focus now. He made too many mistakes in this match, and hopefully that win will help him, because it’s clear that losing streak filled him with rage!”

 

“I agree, Comet, Duran got lucky tonight, but if he was facing an experienced wrestler like a Tom Flesher, Duran would certainly not be walking out victorious tonight!”

 

“Speaking of Citizen Tom, is his number up tonight? Citizen Erek and the champ Mr. Flesher, it’s for the SWF World Title, and it’s our main event! I can’t wait!”

 

“Next up though, folks, it’s the return of the Grappler against ‘Ichiban’! Don’t go away, it’s going to be a wild ride tonight, LIVE on SWF Storm!”

 

Fade to commercials.

[the.weej 0]

John Duran is sitting in his locker room as a door can be heard opening in the background. "The Sinner" looks up and recognizes the face immediately.

 

"Doc Malone," Duran says with a hint of amazement. "What are you doing here?"

 

Doc Malone steps into the view of the camera, a muscular man with graying hair and thin-rimmed glasses, grinning. "Just wanted to visit, Johnny, wanted to catch up."

 

"Oh come on, Doc, I know you better than that. Something's up, isn't there?"

 

"Yes, there is, Johnny," Doc remains with a grin on his face, but his voice doesn't remain cheery and vibrant. "Johnny, you know I was your trainer back before the SJL, before you became this 'Sinner.'"

 

"Hey, listen, Doc, it wasn't my choice to become who I did, the fans made me this way."

 

"I'm not criticizing your choices, Johnny, I just wanted to give you an offer. I've been watching the shows lately, watched your matches."

 

"What about them," Duran asks, defensive.

 

"I don't think I need to tell you that you're losing your focus, and you're also losing a lot of matches," Doc says plainly. "You won tonight against that rookie, but do you think it's a fluke?"

 

"No way, Doc, no--"

 

"It was a fluke, Johnny," Doc interrupts, the grin fading from his face and making sure to make eye contact with Duran. "Trust me, it won't happen again unless something changes with you."

 

"What do you suggest then," Duran asks with a hint of sarcasm and disrespect.

 

Doc doesn't pick up on it and continues. "Come with me back to my training facility. We'll run some drills, we'll work on some aspects of your wrestling, Johnny. You've got a break coming up from Thanksgiving, you don't have a family to come home to besides your mother and father...use it to your advantage, Johnny."

 

"Damnit, Doc, I don't need--"

 

"My help," Doc interrupts again.

 

"Funny how little things change," Duran interjects, and Doc takes offense.

 

"Shut up for a second, Johnny. Do you want to be SWF Champion?"

 

"What kind of question is that, of course I do!"

 

"Then come with me to Champaign. We'll train, and by December 1st, you'll be back and better than ever. Before you know it, you'll be moving up the ranks."

 

Duran sits there for a moment, his black hair hanging down over his eyes in thought.

 

"OK, Doc, I surrender. When do we go?"

 

"Right now."

[the.weej 0]

Walking towards his dressing room, the Maori Badass has arrived!

 

Riley: Look who’s here! It’s Va’aiga.

 

Va’aiga walks down the mazelike corridors that exist in EVERY arena in the world, until his progress is briefly impeded by the scarred, but built arm of Boston Strangler.

 

Strangler: What’s WITH you? Tonight you’re out there against Johnny Dangerous, US title. You might kick his ass. You might snap again, but no disrespect to Johnny you’re better than that. You get a little focus in your life and you could be ICTV, maybe even world champion. You gotta learn to control that anger.

 

Va’aiga: I AM the anger. I am a MONSTER.

 

Strangler: You ain’t a monster. You’re just a damn good pro wrestler. And this isn’t a bitch, a guy you hate. Va’aiga and the Strangler, 611lbs of muscle, undefeated when teaming. You said before you respect me. Now trust me.

 

Va’aiga just waves Strangler out of the way and continues off towards the dressing rooms.

[the.weej 0]

BOOM~!

 

Fans in the Key Arena in Seattle, Washington go absolutely nunannas as SWF Storm EXPLODES back onto the airwaves! The camera quickly pans over the crowd fresh after the commercial break, and the capacity crowd collectively jumps up and down trying to get their faces and hand-crafted signs on camera.

 

“OH, EJIRO? MORE LIKE OH, ASSHOLE!”

 

“GET WILD WITH MY CHILD!”

 

“I – C – H – I – B – A – N!”

 

Finally, the camera zooms back to the announce table, with your usual geniuses.

 

“Ladies and gents, welcome back to SWF Storm. I’m Bobby Riley, along with… oh god, if you do it again-“

 

“CYCLOOOOOOONE COMET!” the superhero proudly shouts.

 

“I swear, that got old months ago.” Riley buries his face in his hands as Comet gives a cheesy thumbs-up to the camera.

 

“And citizens, what a night we have in store for you! Last night at Ashes 2 Ashes, we saw the surprising return of none other than Charlie ‘Grappler’ Matthews! Yes, he ditched the game show image, but he picked up something else.”

 

“JAMES MATHESON!” interrupts an exuberant Riley, “The man that led Grappler to glory in the SJL is back, and better than ever!”

 

“Charlie’s first match after his neck injury will be against none other than Annie ‘Ichiban’ Onita, who, as we saw last night, put up a hell of a fight against the Anti-Heel machine.”

 

“It was useless. The bitch got what she deserved, that AT&T II or whatever the hell you called it. Plus, she got her ribs and back worked on HELLA good. Anyway, let’s get onto the match. I’m feeling awfully bloodthirsty.” Riley points to the ring, where Funyon stands with his microphone.

 

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!”

 

With Funyon’s last word, the lights in the arena go out as Metallica’s “Some Kind of Monster” kicks in. The fans who witnessed Ashes 2 Ashes last night break out into jeers, while the unfortunate few who didn’t see it fold to peer pressure and join in. A single spotlight appears on the stage as the chorus begins, and the figure of James Matheson sprints out of the entryway. As Matheson breaks into a round of applause on the ramp, the enormous figure of Charlie Matthews appears in the spotlight, and he begins his slow walk to the ring.

 

“Introducing first, being accompanied by James Matheson, from Kansas City, Missouri, weighing in at 287 pounds, this is CHAAAAAAAAARLIE ‘GRAPPLER’ MAAAAAAATTHEWSSSSS!!!!”

 

Grappler and Matheson ignore the boos of the fans and continue their walk, Matheson shooting off last-minute advice to his client. Charlie nods and walks up the steps, entering the ring as Matheson takes his spot on the outside. Grappler simply stands in a corner, awaiting his opponent.

 

“And his opponent!”

 

*BOOM!*

 

As really blue pyro explodes out of the entryway, “Risky Gamble” by Megumi Hayashibara plays, and the female phenom appears on the stage, along with her twin sister! The crowd ROARS at the sight, as Annie begins walking down to the ring.

 

“Accompanied by Allison Onita, from Tokyo, Japan, weighing in at 175 pounds, she is the one and only AAAAAAAAAAANNIE ‘IIIIIIIICHIBAN’ OOOOOOONITAAAAAA!!!”

 

Annie walks right to the ring, rolling under the bottom rope as Allison slaps some fans’ hands, taking a position at ringside. The house lights in the arena come on, and before Nick Soapdish can even call for the bell, Matthews rushes at Annie, surprising her by lifting his knee right into Onita’s gut!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

With Ichiban doubled over, Grappler immediately begins laying in hard forearm shots to the back, forcing the former Eclectic into the corner. With Ann against the turnbuckle, Charlie sizes her up and sends one HARD fist to her face…but it’s blocked! The Seattle crowd lets out a cheer as Onita holds onto Grappler’s hand and lifts her leg, sending a hard kick into his abdomen! With the big man doubled over, Ann leaps up, introducing her left knee to Matthews’ face! Charlie staggers backward, and Annie leaps forward, her arm outward, catching him under the jaw with a clothesline…but Grappler doesn’t go down! Ann charges at her foe again, aiming for another clothesline, but this time Matthews ducks, and wraps his arms around Onita’s waist from behind, and then lifts her with ease into the air, dropping her down onto her stomach with an amateur takedown!

 

“Well,” begins Comet, “it looks like Citizen Matthews got a bit more than he bargained for with Miss Onita! She fought fire with fire, so Charles had to resort to something he’s admittedly better at – wrestling.”

 

“And that’s what it’s ALL about,” chimes in Riley, “because that bitch can’t do a damn thing on the mat.”

 

At Matheson’s screaming of “REMEMBER THE RIBS!” on the outside, Grappler keeps the waistlock in tight, squeezing the life out of Onita in the match’s early stages. Seeing how close Ann is to the ropes, Charlie wraps his own leg over hers, to keep her from getting a rope break. After seemingly getting bored, Charlie shifts his weight around, moving his body to Annie’s head, now executing a gutwrench on the mat. The Seattle crowd rings in with an “OH – NEE – TAH!” chant, but the Queen doesn’t need it. With Grappler off of her legs, Onita simply inches her body back, and drapes her left foot over the bottom rope, causing Soapdish to call for the break! Disappointed at his mistake, Matthews lets go and stands in the corner, letting Annie get to her feet in the corner.

 

“Almost a rookie mistake there by Matthews!” adds Comet, “He may have lost his sense of ring presence in the months he was out of action!”

 

“Oh, that’s utter and complete bullnuts, Comet,” scoffs Riley, “Grappler did that on purpose. EVERYTHING Charlie does is for a reason.”

 

As soon as she’s up, Grappler charges with a full head of steam into the corner…and Annie moves! Charlie, however, stops himself with his arms out, and quickly spins his body around with a lariat…but Annie dodges this, as well! Ichiban sprints to the ropes and pushes off of them, gaining momentum as she approaches the confused Matthews and leaps into the air, nailing Charlie in the chin with a side kick! Grappler staggers into the corner, and Annie doesn’t let up. From the center of the ring, Onita runs and jumps, landing a kick right into Charlie’s chest before vaulting off of his chest and arching backward, executing a beautiful moonsault kick! With the crowd’s applause, Charlie shuffles out of the corner and drops to his knees, as Ichiban winds up one more time, spinning her leg around and delivering a vicious buzzsaw kick to Matthews’ temple!

 

*CRACK!*

 

“ITCH – EE – BAN!”

 

“ITCH – EE – BAN!”

 

The crowd gets behind the hardcore queen as Matthews finally falls flat on his face! Annie waves to the crowd and rolls Charlie over, covering him as Soapdish counts!

 

“ONE!”

 

…and Grappler kicks out WITH AUTHORITY! James Matheson wipes the perspiration off of his brow as Charlie easily escapes the predicament, and Allison pounds on the mat, encouraging her sister. Annie stalks her prey, but Charlie begs off, commanding Soapdish to separate them.

 

“What a cowardly act!” accuses Comet, “after a beautiful trifecta of kicks by Ms. Onita, Citizen Charles is forced to run off like a scalded Luthor!”

 

“You bumbling fool,” begins Riley, ironically, “it’s all about mind games! Chuck is simply getting into Annie’s head, and I bet my sperm bank account that it’ll work!”

 

With Soapdish holding Annie back, Matheson leaps onto the apron next to Grappler and begins whispering words of strategy into his client’s ear. The only words the camera picks up are “focus” and “ribs”. The vibrant manager drops down to ringside, leaving a seemingly more confident Grappler in the ring. He walks to the center of the ring, motioning for Onita to do the same. Coolly, Annie obliges, and Matthews signals for a lock up. Both wrestlers move in, but Onita quickly lifts her leg up for a kick…Charlie catches it! Holding onto her leg, Matthews shoves Annie down, and then jumps into the air, dropping his extended left leg across her midsection! With his leg still in position, Matthews slides his right leg under Annie and locks his feet together, squeezing the queen’s midsection with a devastating body scissors! With Ichiban in pain, Allison leads the ringside fans into a wild clapping and stomping frenzy, trying to help her sister feed off of the adrenaline! Matheson, on the other side of the ring, tries to quiet down the fans, to no avail.

 

“And Charles continues the pain with a body scissors,” adds Comet, “and that, by the way, is an ambiguous statement.”

 

“Did someone say ‘ambiguous’?” Riley perks up. “Oh, that. Comet, you need to realize that Mr. Matthews is a submission MASTER. All of these holds he’s putting Annie in weaken her ribs more and more. Just wait till we get to the best one.”

 

As Charlie continues to squeeze, Ichiban continues to fight, struggling to inch closer…and closer…and closer to the ropes. With the Washington crowd like GANGBUSTERS behind her, Annie reaches…

 

Reaches…

 

Reaches…

 

 

…AND GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE! The crowd lets out a cry of delight, Soapdish calls for Matthews to release the body scissors, and he obliges. Immediately after he gets up, however, Charlie doesn’t hold back, and he drops and elbow right down on Annie’s prone body…but she moves! Onita uses the ropes to pull herself up, and waits for the big man to get up as well. When he does, Ichiban lifts her leg up and swings…connecting a BIG roundhouse kick right on the side of Grappler’s head! Matthews begins teetering, but instead of letting him fall, Onita ducks behind him and grabs a tight waistlock. Using all of the strength she can muster, Annie HEAVES Grappler UP and OVER with a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! The crowd roars as Charlie hits the mat with ring-shaking impact.

 

“And Annie-san FINALLY regains the advantage!” rejoices Comet, “and this match has become WATCHABLE again!”

 

“You did NOT just say that!” shoots Riley, “how DARE you say that in the presence of a great champion like Mr. Matthews?”

 

Ichiban waves to the crowd, albeit in pain as she clutches her ribs, and they respond with resounding cheers. She bends down to lift Charlie up by his head. However, Matthews springs up and drives his head RIGHT into Annie’s abdomen, stunning her! Matthews reaches his feet and grabs Annie by the arm, whipping her right into the corner.

 

Wait! As Annie reaches the turnbuckle, she uses her momentum to climb up to the top rope, and she launches off, arching backwards for a moonsault…NO! Grappler catches Annie in mid-air, positioning her stomach-down right on his shoulder, before squeezing and pressing down with all of his might!

 

“Good lord!” begins Comet, “almost an inverted shoulder rack there by Matthews! He’s doing everything he can to focus on those ribs!”

 

“GENIUS! Charlie Matthews is an absolute GENIUS in that squared circle!” praises Riley, “And I love every minute of it! Break her ribs, Grap!”

 

Matthews continues to bend and unbend his knees, racking Annie’s ribs with evil intent! The Seattle crowd does everything they can to get behind Ichiban, clapping and stomping as an “ANN – E!” chant breaks out. Annie desperately tries to wriggle out of the predicament, but it seems as though Charlie is just too strong. However, with her arms in front of her, Ichiban is able to send punches right into the upper body of Matthews! While this only serves to pester the Grappler, Annie is able to get her right arm around Matthews’ neck, in almost an inverted facelock! Charlie tries to fight out of it by backing into the corner, but this only helps matters, as Annie uses the turnbuckle to push off of, and then flip forward, dropping down and hitting a DIAMOND DUST!

 

“You have to be kidding!” scoffs Riley, “I can’t believe that was actually…innovative!”

 

“And Annie is BACK in this match!” adds Comet, “Her ribs may be battered, bruised, and possibly broken-“

 

“DEFINITELY broken,” interjects Riley.

 

“…but that’s not stopping her from mounting a comeback. Thank you, Bobby.”

 

After taking the Diamond Dust, Charlie remains on his knees, stunned by the blow. Seeing this, and after catching her breath, Annie runs to the ropes, and as she comes back, she steps on Charlie’s knee and vaults up, swinging her leg around and connecting her knee with the side of Matthews’ head, executing the SHINING WIZARD! The crowd roars as Ichiban quickly drops on top of the fallen Grappler, hooking a leg as Soapdish drops to count!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWOOO!”

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!

 

James Matheson has a heart attack at ringside, and is now using a handkerchief to wipe the sweat off of his brow. Meanwhile, Onita clutches her ribs as she rises to her feet and decides to kick this match up a notch. She ducks under the ropes and begins climbing, all the way to the top turnbuckle! The crowd buzzes in anticipation, as Grappler reaches his feet. When he does, Annie launches off, anticipating a flying clothesline.

 

 

 

…BUT GRAPPLER CATCHES HER! Matthews wraps his arms around Annie and squeezes as tightly as he can, sucking the life out of her (and the crowd!)

 

“IIIIIIIIIIIIT’S BEARHUG TIME~!” rejoices Riley, gleefully. “Everyone’s FAVORITE submission hold of Charlie Matthews makes its SWF return, and I love it!”

 

Comet yawns before adding, “well, the crowd certainly seems to be…uh, into this.”

 

“BOOOOOOORING!”

 

“BOOOOOOORING!”

 

“BOOOOOOORING!”

 

As the chant resounds through the arena, James Matheson covers his ears and yells at everyone in sight to shut up. Allison, meanwhile, encourages the fans, clapping and cheering for her sister. Finally, Matthews drops to a knee, exerting more pressure on the hurt ribs. Annie’s activity becomes less and less, as she slowly but surely succumbs to the pain and suffering (in more ways than one) of THE BEARHUG. Matheson clamors at Soapdish, yelling “Check her! Check her!” Soapdish obliges.

 

He lifts her arm once…

 

 

…and it falls!

 

 

The arm goes up a second time…

 

 

 

 

 

…and it drops again!

 

 

 

 

The arm goes up a third and final time, as the crowd reaches a fever pitch…

 

 

…and it falls!

 

 

 

 

…NO! Annie gets her arm up at the last possible second! The crowd roars as Annie begins to shake, desperately trying to escape the bearhug! Charlie, meanwhile, is in shock, and he tries to apply even more pressure than before. However, Ichiban fights it, sending right and left hands raining down on Grappler’s head! After sufficient weakening, Annie does the one move that ALWAYS escapes the bearhug, and boxes Charlie’s ears! As Matthews lets go to regain his equilibrium, Onita charges to the ropes, and as she rebounds back, leaps into the air for a flying forearm!

 

 

…but this time, Grappler uses her momentum against her, grabbing her around the neck and DRIVING HER back down into the canvas with an STO!!!

 

“YES!” exults Riley, “You want to talk about momentum stoppers? That was mo-sto numero uno!”

 

“Well, it certainly was an innovative counter,” admits Comet, “but both citizens are now on their backs! This match has done a number on both of them!”

 

With both Charlie and Annie down, Soapdish begins the ten count!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

“THREE!”

 

With that, James Matheson leaps onto the apron, and begins to fiddle with a turnbuckle pad!

 

“FOUR!”

 

Charlie recovers, however, and to divert Soapdish’s attention away, he rolls on top of Annie, hooking a leg and commanding the referee to count!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

“TH – NO!” Annie shoots her shoulder up, but Matthews is hardly disappointed, as that pin was merely a diversionary tactic. Indeed, Matheson finishes the dirty deed, taking the turnbuckle pad down with him…getting right into the face of Allison Onita! The two share a scuffle, and after some words by Matheson, Allison rears back…

 

*CRACK!*

 

…and slaps him across the face! The crowd roars as Matheson collapses to the mat, scurrying away to create as much distance as possible.

 

“And that -excuse my Klingon- bitch gets it!” says Comet with joy.

 

“Yeah, Grappler’s giving her a pretty damn good beating!” replies Riley.

 

“Well, anyway, it looks like Matthews has Annie right where he wants her! He’s signaling for the end!”

 

Indeed, Charlie picks Annie off the mat and positions her in a standing headscissors, before hoisting her up into the air. Instead of the usual position, though, Grappler keeps her across his shoulder, and holding her with one hand, he points to the exposed turnbuckle!

 

“Oh no,” begins Comet, “he’s going to Powerbomb her onto that steel bolt! Good god, don’t do it, Charles!”

 

Matthews begins running, but using her last ounce of momentum, Annie shifts her weight forward, rolling off of Charlie’s shoulder and dropping down behind him, grabbing his legs and pulling him over with a SUNSET FLIP! The crowd roars as Soapdish counts this surprise pin!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

“THREEEENOOOO!”

 

 

“Good god!” shouts Comet, “Citizen Onita almost had Charles pinned with that one move! That’s proof that Anything Can Happen in the SWF™!”

 

“Oh, poppycock!” shoots Riley, nervously, “It’s her damn ribs! Her ribs MUST be giving out sometime soon! I mean, it’s all part of the game plan!”

 

Matthews shoots his shoulder up, but rolls away in absolute SHOCK that Annie had anything left in her tank. He pulls himself up, yelling at Annie.

 

“GET UP, BITCH! GET UP!”

 

Ichiban reaches her feet, and the crowd begins chanting her name yet again! She turns around to face her opponent…who CHARGES out of the corner, swinging his left arm out wildly for a lariat…BUT ANNIE DUCKS! As Charlie spins around on the rebound, Ichiban sends a HARD kick into his gut, doubling over, as she puts him into a standing headscissors! The crowd reaches a fevered pitch as she hooks both of his arms together!

 

“IT’S DAYBREAK!” shouts Comet, “WE’RE ON PACIFIC STANDARD TIME HERE IN SEATTLE, BUT IT’S DAYBREAK AT SWF STORM!”

 

“…well, that was an interesting way to look at it,” muses Riley, “but look, my man Charlie is fighting out of it!”

 

As Bobby pointed out, Matthews drops to a knee, struggling to avoid Annie’s signature finishing maneuver! Onita tries to pull Charlie up to a standing base, but this time Grappler is able to snake his arms free, and he uses them to grab Annie’s legs, lifting her into the air! He turns around, aligning her with the exposed turnbuckle bolt, and charges!

 

“OH MY GOD, NO!” admonishes Comet, “HE’S GOING TO KILL HER!”

 

“And that’s the point, baby!” Riley says, rubbing it in. “Annie’s ribs are DUST!”

 

And Charlie runs forward, SLAMMING Annie into the steel bolt!

 

*BOOM!*

 

The crowd groans at the sound and the sight, as Annie lets out a cry of pain! Charlie doesn’t stop, though, as he backs up, and charges again!

 

*BOOM!*

 

This one is with more velocity than the first, but Charlie backs up with malice in his eyes, and looks to Matheson, who simply nods and claps.

 

*BOOM!*

 

Annie goes in a THIRD time, as Annie is practically motionless. She uses her last amount of strength to throw some punches at Grappler, but they’re ignored as he backs up and charges…

 

*BOOM!*

 

…into the turnbuckle AGAIN! Even Nick Soapdish tries to stop this, but Charlie ignores this as he goes in AGAIN. Allison jumps on the apron to try and stop this, but she is promptly pulled down by James Matheson! The weasel quickly moves away from Allison before anything else can happen, however.

 

*BOOM!*

 

“Make it stop, MAKE IT STOP!” pleads Comet. “Charles, what are you trying to prove?!”

 

”That he’s UNSTOPPABLE, Comet! By shattering each and EVERY one of Annie’s ribs, Grappler is sending a message to EVERYONE in the SWF!”

 

After the FIFTH brutal spear, Charlie only backs up a few steps, and CHARGES FORWARD, repeating the process in rapid succession!

 

*BOOM!*

*BOOM!*

*BOOM!*

*BOOM!*

 

After NINE spears into the steel, Charlie backs up, to the opposite turnbuckle, and then CHARGES at FULL SPEED, SLAMMING ANNIE RIGHT INTO THE BOLT A TENTH AND FINAL TIME!!! As Grappler lets go, Annie collapses out of the corner, blood seeping out of her mouth.

 

“That’s just SICK,” says Comet, “and it makes my blood boil. Annie’s ribs are absolutely demolished, she has internal bleeding, and Matthews just does not care!”

 

“And did you expect anything else, Comet?” asks Riley, “no. This is Charlie Matthews, back after two months off with a neck injury, and severely pissed off. Annie’s just in the way, and now it’s time to finish her off.”

 

Taking heed to Riley’s words, Charlie literally peels Annie off of the mat and positions her in a standing headscissors. After nodding to a cheering Matheson, Grappler hoists her into the air, and then SLAMS HER DOWN TO THE MAT WITH THE POWERBOMB! Grappler stands for a minute, looking at the Seattle fans, Allison Onita, James Matheson, and finally, the bloody, beaten Annie ‘Ichiban’ Onita.

 

And a sadistic smile forms on his face. Matthews drops down, pushing Annie’s legs over her shoulders as Soapdish drops to count the pin. The Seattle crowd is almost hushed at what has occurred.

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

 

“RING THE BELL!”

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“Some Kind of Monster” kicks in again as overwhelming boos fill the Key Arena, and Funyon rises to make the official announcement.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match, CHARLIE ‘GRAPPLER’ MAAAATTHEWSSSS!!!!!!”

 

Matheson leaps into the ring, and begins cheering on his meal ticket. Charlie rises up off of Annie, eyes transfixed on her beaten form for a second, before turning to his manager. Matheson’s smile is irreplaceable, as he continues to congratulate Charlie.

 

“He did it, and I told you so!” boasts Riley, “Charlie Matthews returns and makes that bitch his…uh, bitch!”

 

“But did you see how he won it?” asks Comet, disgusted, “That absolutely sickens me to no end!”

 

“Oh, come on. A win’s a win, Superhero, and it doesn’t matter how you do it! Grappler just showed a new side of himself tonight, and I love it!”

 

Allison, meanwhile, slides into the ring, concern painted on her face as she checks on her fallen sister. Soapdish signals for more referees to come down to help.

 

“Well, I’m just hoping all the best for Citizen Onita,” adds Comet, sadly, “but we still have more of SWF Storm to go.”

 

“Damn right, Comet! Get your mind off the bitch; we still have a whole show to go!”

[the.weej 0]

Backstage sitting on a bench in the dressing rooms, Va’aiga, the Maori Badass broods. His head is wrapped in a towel and his massive tattooed forearms are down by his sides. Lost deep in his own mind, the Maori lets a little thought slip out publicly.

 

Va’aiga: Maybe Strangler is right.

 

Va’aiga’s meditations are disturbed by a voice drifting across the room.

 

The Voice: Maybe Strangler isn’t.

 

Va’aiga looks up and the caerma follows his gaze as leaning confidently against the wall and smiling a little smile is The Sinner himself, John Duran.

 

Duran: You've got a handcuff match tonight. Don't lose already by letting Strangler handcuff you, Va'aiga, don't let him limit you, don't allow him to push that anger down. Damnit, you’re the Maori Badass! You’re DRIVEN by your anger. Pride? Envy? These are your fuels. Stay on the right path. Sin to Win. Go crush Johnny Dangerous.

 

The Maori Badass breathes in deeply and throws the towel off his head, walking powerfully towards the door.

 

Va’aiga: Yeah... YEAH! I’m gonna kick his ass so bad his intestines end up working BACKWARDS.

 

Va’aiga walks out of the door and closes it behind him. Three seconds pass before it slams open again for one final…

 

Va’aiga: BOO-YAH!

[the.weej 0]

“STRANGLER”

 

The Smarktron lights up with the aforementioned name as the opening chords of “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult begins to play. The fans also light up as well, with a huge pop for the music they know oh so well. The clap, stomp, shout, and possibly relieve firearms as a massive white pyro blast explodes on the stage. The pyro dies and he emerges through the curtain, standing tall as he stares out at the fans chanting his initials.

 

“T B S!”

“T B S!”

“T B S!”

“T B S!”

 

(Comet) – We’re all set for our next match between The Boston Strangler and the Hville Thugg. In case you’re just joining us, this match was set as we opened Storm this evening when Thugg came out to challenge the world and Strangler answered his call.

 

(Riley) – Are we sure Strangler accepted Thugg’s challenge? It seemed to me that he came out just to show his dissatisfaction at the fact that his match with Bastion was canceled.

 

(Funyon) – Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, making his way to the ring, weighing in at 303 pounds…from Boston, Massechussets…THE BOSTOOOON STRAAAAAAANGLERRRRRRRR!!!

 

Strangler raises one fist to the air, causing the crowd to erupt again, and he slowly makes his descent towards the ring. Once at ringside, he slides into the ring, climbs to the second turnbuckle of the near right corner, and causes thousands of flash bulbs to flicker when he raises both fists to the air. Strangler stands in the center of the ring as the lights dim once again…

 

 

“Muwhahahahaha!”

 

The electric guitar hits the speakers and the fans, who have yet to sit down, become reenergized.

 

“They don’t know…”

“Who we be!”(2X)

 

(Riley) – Hold your ears!!

 

“What they don’t know is…”

 

KA –BOOOOOOOOM!!!

 

The wall of fire erupts on the stage, illuminating the entire arena, and the monster steps into the path made by the flames.

 

(Comet) – And here comes one of the greatest superstars this fed has ever seen. He is responsible for making the federation and the business what it is today, and now he’s back…and I’m tellin’ you…he’s freaking pissed.

 

(Funyon) – And his opponent…weighing in at 386 pounds…he is from the nation’s capitol, Washington, DC…THE H-VIIIIIIIILLE THUUUUUUUUGGGG!!!

 

The fans pop significantly for him, but not nearly as much as they did for Strangler, and upon hearing his name, Thugg moves towards the ring. He reaches the apron, reaches up and pulls the top rope, and climbs over it and into the ring where Strangler waits in the center, never relinquishing his eye contact on the beast.

 

(Comet) – Well, now we’re gonna see exactly what Thugg’s got after returning from a serious neck injury for the 3rd time.

 

(Riley) – He had that experimental surgery this time, and if what he said in the opener is true, then it’s not a problem.

 

DING DING DING

 

With the bell, Strangler and Thugg step forward to the center of the ring, neither man backing down, flinching, or possibly even blinking. The fans cheer loudly as the two monsters stare at each other with a venom usually reserved for a King Cobra, with Thugg standing slightly taller and heavier.

 

(Riley) – You can feel the heat between these two men...

 

(Comet) – When Thugg was champ, he was the premier big man in the wrestling world, and now Strangler has that title, and I think Thugg might want it back.

 

(Riley) – And I know first hand that Thugg used to tutor Strangler a bit a while back, so we could see that play into things a bit here as well.

 

Much time passes with the two gigantic men staring into each other before the crowd erupts when Thugg and Strangler lock up for the first time.

 

(Comet) – Collar and elbow tie up…

 

Thugg pushes Strangler…Strangler pushes Thugg…the lockup continues…

 

(Riley) – This looks like a scene from one of those nature shows where two elephants get their tusks tangled or something.

 

(Comet) – There is certainly a lot of beef in the ring in this matchup.

 

The fans let out a small pop when Thugg shoves Strangler towards the near ropes, causing the Boston native to take several steps backwards. However, it doesn’t take him long to jump back into a tie-up with Thugg and allow the crowd to pop even louder when he shoves Thugg back several steps.

 

(Comet) – They’re pretty evenly matched here so far…

 

Both Strangler and Thugg stare at each other, again standing in the center of the ring, both with a smirk on their face, which would indicate a sign of mutual respect for one another. Those smirks, however, are short lived as the two dive back into a tie-up, and after a moment of shaking the ring while they jockey for position, the two release once more and the fans give a small pop.

 

(Riley) – Seeing as how neither of these men has been in the ring with one another, they might be trying to feel each other out.

 

(Comet) – You WOULD want them to start feeling each other, wouldn’t you Riley?

 

(Riley) – Shut up.

 

After an eternity of staring each other down, Thugg looks to the sky, and then slowly raises his hand into the air.

 

(Riley) – Test of strength!!

 

Strangler looks up at Thugg’s hand, then back at Thugg’s eyes, and much to the crowd’s delight, he takes Thugg’s hand. Immediately, Strangler steps backwards with his left foot as Thugg leans in with the early advantage. Thugg leans in hard, and Strangler’s legs buckle a bit under the pressure from the former champion.

 

(Comet) – And it looks like Thugg is the stronger of the two hear, but that’s not much of a surprise as he’s the larger of the two in both height and weight.

 

The fans slow down their cheers as Thugg completely dominates the test of strength, and nearly on his knees, Strangler grunts while the veins in his head begin to show through. He pushes and pushes, but Thugg just leans on him…that is, until…

 

RAAAAAAA!!

 

(Comet) – And would you look at that?!?

 

Strangler pushes up, while Thugg’s eyes bulge and his jaw drops. The fans pull behind Strangler as he stands back upright with he and Thugg’s hands at a stalemate above their heads.

 

(Riley) – He looked down and out of that little mini contest, but I think it shows a lot of heart to come back.

 

(Comet) – I think it shows integrity not to result to an un-gentlemen-like cheapshot…

 

BOOOOOO!!!!

 

(Riley) – You mean like that?

 

(Comet) – Exactly like that...I can’t believe he’d do that.

 

The fans let their heat flow as Strangler doubles over from a kick to the gut from Thugg. He quickly raises his right arm and drops a huge forearm onto the back of Strangler, who goes down to one knee from the strike. However, the blow does not put Strangler down as it would a smaller man, and the former world champion is quickly back up, where he throws Thugg’s arms aside and drills him with a hard right hand!

 

(Comet) – Thugg with that huge club to the back, but Strangler getting back with that huge right hand. Talk about an even matchup…this could come down to who has the more endurance.

 

The punch staggers Thugg a bit, but he quickly fires a right hand of his own that slams into Strangler’s jaw, sending him back a few steps. The fans are solidly behind Strangler as he connects with another right hand that makes Thugg stumble, who then fires a punch of his own. Right hand by Strangler…right hand by Thugg…right hand by Strangler…right hand by Strangler…

 

(Comet) – Trading punch for punch here…wait…no…Strangler lands several in a row, and now he’s got the advantage!

 

Referee Sexton Hardcastle makes a valiant effort to warn the two about closed fists, but neither man listens to him. The final punch by Strangler sends Thugg back to the far side ropes, where Strangler gives him a huge pull and whips…NO! REVERSED! Thugg sends Strangler to the near side ropes, where he appears to nearly fall over the top due to his weight, but instead, rebounds full speed at Thugg. Thugg waits for Strangler with a huge clothesline, but Strangler alertly ducks the blow, turns around behind Thugg, locks on a sleeper, and then takes Thugg down with a Sleeper Drop!

 

(Riley) – I think we’re going to get our first look at whether Thugg’s neck can hold up in a match because that move puts a great deal of pressure on the neck.

 

Without much hesitation, Thugg rolls over onto his stomach and onto all fours, while Strangler gets back to his feet as well. Strangler, seeing Thugg attempting to rise, drops an elbow right onto Thugg’s back, sending him back down to the ground.

 

(Comet) – And now Strangler is going to look to stay all over Thugg now…not let the big man back into this matchup.

 

Stranger gets up pretty quickly, and, again, drops an elbow onto Thugg as he tries to rise. With the fans firmly behind the Boston native, Strangler jumps to his feet and begins to drive boot after boot into Thugg’s back.

 

(Riley) – That’s how you have to do it…I’ve been saying all along, if you wanna stop a guy like Thugg…or even Bastion for that matter.

 

Strangler reaches down and gathers up the somewhat wearing Thugg, and with massive effort, he whips the big man into the far left corner, where Thugg’s back hits the turnbuckle with a THUD!

 

(Comet) – Thugg, whipped into the corner…

 

Strangler moves quickly over to the corner where Thugg seems to be resting, and…

 

SMACK!

 

“Ooooo!”

 

…delivers a vicious chop to Thugg’s chest that causes him to wince in pain.

 

SMACK!

 

“Ooooo!”

 

(Comet) – Strangler with those knife-edge chops!

 

The fans, completely content with shouting “Oooo” for every chop, silence again as Thugg thrusts forward, grabs Strangler by the throat, turns around, and throws the Red Sox fan into the same corner…

 

 

SLAP!!

 

“Ooooo!”

 

(Comet) – And now Thugg with those open-handed slaps! I, for one, think those hurt more than the chops…

 

SLAP!

 

“Ooooo!”

 

Strangler screams out in pain as Thugg delivers the second of two slaps, and then Thugg grabs Strangler by the wrist and whips him across the ring to the near right corner, where Strangler slams in back first. Sensing the changing tide, Thugg takes a running start and slams into Strangler in the corner.

 

(Comet) – Thugg starting to roll here…

 

Thugg immediately grabs Strangler and whips him again, this time back to the far left corner, and again, Strangler lands back-first into the turnbuckle. Thugg, again, runs at, and once again, he lands with the big splash in the corner.

 

(Comet) – Thugg with another splash in the corner…

 

Thugg, really feeling full of himself, whips Strangler again, to the near left corner, and with the momentum completely against him, Strangler lands in the corner. Thugg, runs in one more time for the splash…

 

(Comet) – Thugg going for another splash, but this time, Strangler was ready for him, giving Thugg that sharp elbow to the face.

 

Upon receiving Strangler’s elbow, Thugg turns away holding his face, and Strangler looks to take advantage. When Thugg turns to face him again, Strangler delivers a boot to the gut that doubles the big man, and he quickly hooks in a Front Face Lock. Once the Face Lock is on, Strangler quickly twists and drops and elbow to the back of Thugg’s skull!

 

(Comet) – LABOTOMY!!! Strangler with that huge elbow to the back of Thugg’s head, driving his face to the canvas!

 

Thugg hits the canvas, bounces a bit, and conveniently flips onto his back, allowing Strangler to go for the first cover of the match…

 

(Comet) – Strangler with the cover!!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

(Comet) – NO! Thugg gets his shoulders up.

 

(Riley) – Somewhat of a close call for Thugg there. Normally, you can’t wear Thugg down with that kind of stuff, but Strangler is over 300 pounds, and that’s a lot of weight to get up when kicking out.

 

Both men get back to their feet, with Strangler rising a bit quicker and meeting Thugg with a right hand to the jaw that sends him stumbling back wards. Another right keeps Thugg at bay, and then Strangler pushes him against the near ropes and whips him to the far side of the ring. Thugg bends the ropes back, and then heads back to…NO! Instead, Thugg holds onto the ropes, and slips out of the ring under the bottom rope.

 

(Comet) – Wise, veteran move from Thugg there, slipping out of the ring to both catch his breath and slow Strangler’s momentum.

 

The fans boo slightly from this tactic, and Thugg starts to pace the area near the announce table. Strangler darts towards the far side of the ring, and slides out behind Thugg, while Hardcastle screams from inside the ring for the two monsters to get back into the ring.

 

(Riley) – They’re bringing it over here Comet!!

 

(Comet) – I see that Bobby…just calm down. I’ll tell you when it’s time to bail out.

 

Thugg starts to walk towards the left side of the ringside area, with Strangler gaining. Before Thugg can turn the corner, Strangler is upon him…BUT…Thugg turns around quickly and fires a right hand that lands square on Strangler’s jaw!

 

(Riley) – Suckered him right in!!!

 

The fans seem unhappy with Thugg’s tactic, as Strangler teeters back from the blow. Without hesitation, Thugg darts in and drops Strangler on the thinly padded floor with a clothesline, after which, he lets out a primal scream of “Who da man!”

 

(Comet) – Thugg’s full of himself now…and it looks like he’s going to take care of Strangler outside the ring.

 

Thugg dips back in the ring to break Hardcastle’s count, and then goes back to Strangler, who is rising to his feet. He gives Strangler a hard boot to the gut to double him over, and then throws him into a Front Face Lock. Thugg plants his feet firmly, digs in, and uses all his strength to get Strangler into the air for a Suplex, where he holds him while thousands of fans take pictures of the amazing feat.

 

(Riley) – Holy crap Comet!! Check out that strength from Thugg, getting over 300 pounds of the Boston Strangler up for a suplex!

 

(Comet) – And what’s more…he’s holding him there!

 

Thugg takes a few steps to compensate for Strangler’s wavering body, and then when he can’t hold the former champ up anymore, Thugg falls backwards, causing Strangler’s back to slam hard on the floor!

 

(Comet) – What a Stalling Suplex from Thugg!!!

 

SEVEN!!

 

Thugg hears Hardcastle call out seven, and he dives back into the ring, and just as quicky slides back out, once again breaking the referee’s count. With Hardcastle shouting, Thugg shrugs him off and goes back to Strangler, who is writhing on the ground holding his back.

 

(Riley) – Thugg nearly got counted out there. He just made it back into the ring in time.

 

Thugg grabs Strangler up off the floor, grabs him by the wrist, and…

 

 

CLANG!!!

 

 

…whips him into the steel steps, totally dislodging them.

 

(Comet) – OH!!! Strangler just went back first into those unforgiving steel steps!!!

 

(Riley) – There just ain’t no good way to take those steps in the back. No matter how much you try to protect yourself, it’s just gonna be painful.

 

The fans cringe from the shot while Strangler grabs at his back as he writhes on the ground. Thugg, feeling very good about himself, looks around at the crowd before going back to Strangler. He walks over to TBS, raises him, and rolls the equally large man back into the ring, much to the happiness of Sexton Hardcastle.

 

(Comet) – And Thugg’s starting to roll, and he’s starting to get back to the Thugg of old…just plain brutal.

 

(Riley) – That’s how you have to be if you wanna compete in this league.

 

Strangler rests on all fours while Thugg climbs back in the ring, and once HVT has reached his victim, he drops a knee right into the small of Strangler’s back, sending him back to the ground.

 

(Comet) – And a knee to the back from Thugg, and perhaps he’s looking to work the back of Strangler.

 

(Riley) – To set up for what?

 

(Comet) – Untamed I guess…not sure.

 

The fans quiet again as Thugg begins to lay boot after boot into Strangler’s back before lifting him once again. Once he has Strangler to his weary feet, Thugg whips him to the near side ropes, and upon Strangler’s return, Thugg grabs him at the waist, steps to the side, pulls Strangler onto his hip, and plants him to the canvas with a tremendous Sidewalk Slam!

 

(Comet) – And the punishment continues…

 

(Riley) – How much can Strangler take?

 

(Comet) – A ton, I’m sure…but Thugg should be careful because Strangler has a history of just snapping in matches, at which point, he’ll just try to hurt Thugg with no regard for the rules.

 

With Strangler writhing, Thugg sees his opportunity, and he raises Strangler once more. Thugg dips his shoulder and uses his leverage to place Strangler up in a Fireman’s Carry. With Strangler on his shoulders facing towards the front of hid body, Thugg takes his right arm and places it back around Stangler’s neck and shoulders, while taking his left arm and placing it around Strangler’s legs. Then, with all the force left in his body, Thugg tries his hardest to brings his two arms towards the center of his own body, while bending and stretching Srangler’s body around his own neck and shoulders.

 

(Comet) – The Torture Rack!!! I haven’t seen that move in ages!! It puts a ton of pressure on the victim’s back, and after the beating that Strangler’s taken so far, that’s gotta be even more painful.

 

(Riley) – So THAT’S what he was setting up for…

 

Strangler screams out in pain, and the crowd screams with him, while Hardcastle gets close to his face to ask for a submission.

 

“What’ya say Strangler?”

 

“NO!”

 

(Comet) – Just look at Thugg’s face…it looks like he’s trying to break Strangler in half with this submission!

 

“C’mon Strangler…whadd’ya say?”

 

“NO!”

 

(Riley) – I think this is the first submission I’ve ever seen Thugg use.

 

“GIVE UP BITCH!!”

 

“You give Strangler??”

 

“FUCK YOU, NO!”

 

The fans start to cheer, hoping to revive their hero…

 

“T…B…S!”

 

“T…B…S!”

 

“T…B…S!”

 

“T…B…S!”

 

(Comet) – The crowd trying to rally Strangler here…

 

Strangler, starting to feel the crowd in his own blood stream, reaches both his arms outwards, and the fans burst. He then, takes both hands, and rakes the face of Thugg, forcing the big man to release him from the rack of torture.

 

RAAAAAAA!!

 

(Riley) – He broke free!

 

(Comet) – The crowd willed it, and Strangler is free again…but, I think he might that submission might have taken its toll.

 

Strangler immediately collapses to the ground while Thugg turns away to tend to his eyes. Hardcastle, notices Thugg’s reaction, and chastises Strangler for the illegal move that he apparently did not see. Strangler starts to struggle to his feet, and just as he does, Thugg turns back around…

 

POW!!

 

…and takes a hard right hand from Strangler!

 

(Comet) – And here comes The Boston Strangler!!!

 

A second right hand staggers Thugg considerably, and with the fans fully behind him, Starngler whips Thugg to the…NO…reversed by Thugg, and Strangler is sent to the far ropes. Thugg leans in for a huge clothesline, but Stranger ducks, hooks Thugg’s extended arm in the process, turns around behind Thugg, hooks his other arm, lifts Thugg up, and slams him to the canvas ass first with a Full Nelson Drop!!

 

(Comet) – Full Nelson Atomic Drop!! The momentum has switched!

 

Strangler, adrenalin flowing freely, pops back to his feet, but touches his back a bit before grabbing Thugg. When Thugg is standing and the crowd is cheering, Strangler gives him a boot to the gut, hooks both his arms, and looks out at the crowd.

 

(Riley) – Here’s the set up!!

 

He pulls Thugg into a Front Facelock, and with his arms still hooked, falls backwards and slams Thugg’s head on the canvas with a Double Arm DDT!!!

 

(Comet) – LIGHTS OUT!!! You know what it’s time for now!!!

 

Totally pumped up, Strangler gets back up once again, and once again, he touches his back. He grabs Thugg up, and while Thugg seems dead on his feet, Strangler looks out at the all sides of the screaming crowd. He puts one fist in the air, sending the fans into a frenzy, and then he sends Thugg to the near ropes. No reverse this time, and when Thugg is back to Strangler, TBS dips down, and using the leverage he’s created and every ounce of strength he has in his body…

 

(Riley) – HOW IN THE HELL!?!

 

(Comet) – What strength!! We all knew he was going for it, but I don’t think any of us thought he could do it!! That’s nearly 400 pounds he’s got up there!!

 

…to put Thugg up in a GORILLA PRESS!!

 

 

RAAAAAA!!!

 

 

(Riley) – That is one sickly strong human being!!

 

Now the flash bulbs start to flicker as Strangler holds Thugg up to show his feat off to the fans. The fans oblige by cheering their heads off and taking thousands of pictures. The building is rocking from end to end as Strangler prepares to…

 

 

*GASP*

 

…and that’s when it happens.

 

(Comet) – NO!

 

(Riley) – NO!

 

Just as Strangler was about to put the Massacre to Thugg, Thugg starts to wiggle, and Strangler drops him. He immediately goes down to one knee and starts to hold his back, and the pain is etched all over his face!

 

(Comet) – Thugg started moving, and Strangler’s back gave out!!

 

(Riley) – Looks like working that back earlier turned out to be a good tactic from Thugg.

 

Thugg, smiles as he picks himself up off the floor, and as Strangler gets to his feet, he turns to Thugg. Strangler is immediately picked up, almost like a bearhug, but is thrown quickly to the canvas with a Bearhug Front Slam!

 

(Comet) – OH! Bearhug Front Slam!

 

The crowd has a mixed reaction to Thugg taking his thumb and slashing it across his own throat. Their reaction is even worse when Thugg lifts Strangler, whips him to the near ropes, and lifts him up into a front press position upon his return. However, upset they are, the fans take picture regardless, but they go quite as Thugg turns Strangler so that his head is pointing towards the front of Thugg’s body, and then slams him neck first to the canvas with a Michinochu Driver, while Thugg sits out!

 

(Comet) – LAST STAND!!! LAST STAND!! STRANGLER’S DONE…IT’S ALL OVER!!

 

(Riley) – Hey…don’t forget to mention the massive strength from Thugg there to get Strangler up for that Last Stand!!

 

Some fans cheer, others boo, while some are just quiet as Thugg quickly crawls over the lifeless Strangler and Hardcastle slides into position…

 

(Comet) – THUGG WITH THE COVER!!!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DING DING DING

 

(Comet) – AND THAT’S IT!! WHAT A RETURN FOR THE HVILLE THUGG!! HE HAS JUST DEFEATED THE BOSTON STRANGLER IN ONE HELL OF A MATCH BY BOTH MEN!!

 

(Riley) – I guess Thugg’s neck is fine…

 

(Comet) – But what about Strangler’s back…Thugg went to town on it tonight, allowing him to pick up the win after a botched Boston Massacre.

 

(Funyon) – The winner of the match…The Angry Black Man…THE HVIIIIIILE THUUUUUUUUGGGGGG!!

 

Again, a mixed reaction from the crowd as Thugg’s arm is raised and his music hits. Strangler lays on the canvas still as Thugg exits the ring.

 

(Comet) – Hell of a win for Thugg…huge even. His neck seems to be fine, and now no one is safe…The angry black man is back…we’ll be right back as well.

 

Fade to commercial.

[the.weej 0]

“Welcome back to SWF Storm, Citizens!” exclaims our euphoric masked announcer. “We are just moments away from one of the many highly anticipated matches tonight - Johnny Dangerous versus Va’aiga!”

 

“Color me excited!” says Bobby. “Ever since the Maori Badass won his number one contender status, I have been foaming at the mouth to see this match take place!”

 

“I’ll bet you have.” replies Comet, turning towards the camera he continues. “Both of these men are coming off Ashes To Ashes searing hot, and only Professor Xavier could predict the winner of this one!”

 

“Oh please, Comet, this is Va’aiga’s match tonight.” says Bobby, matter of factly. “The Barracuda stands NO chance against him. Johnny CAN’T beat the Maori Badass, so he might as well not even try!”

 

“I don’t know about all that,” replies Comet, “Johnny Dangerous has looked quite well in recent weeks. He successfully defeated Ejiro Fasaki for the U.S. Title, and has yet to loose a match yet!”

 

“On the contrary, Comet.” counters Bobby. “Johnny was pinned at Ashes To Ashes. His team may have won, but Johnny himself fell, and fell hard to his Honor Judge William Hearford. On the other hand Va’aiga has been on one hell of a roller coaster ride since Genesis and has YET to dip down yet! The only loss he has is by a disqualification to Danny Williams, and you saw what the Maori Badass did to Danny at the Pay Per View!”

 

“At any rate,” says Comet, “the outcome of this match could leave some lasting ripples into our space-time continuum for some time to come! Also, just to add a bit more spice into our life, this match will be a HANDCUFF match!”

 

“Well Johnny needs all the help he can get.” says Bobby as the cameras pan across a pole attached to the corner of the ring. A pair of bright and shiny handcuffs hangs down from it, glistening in the lights. “These Smith and Wesson universal handcuffs feature a push pin double lock design. They open twenty-five percent larger for big wrists and close twenty-five percent smaller for thin wrists. Yes sir, this is about the best you will get when it comes to hand cuffs. I should know, they came from my bedroom.”

 

“Well,” says Comet quite surprised. “lets take this to Funyon before it gets anymore out of hand.”

 

Standing in the middle of the ring - impeccably dressed as usual - Funyon raises the microphone to his lips. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” he bellows, “the following contest is a Handcuff Match scheduled for one fall and is for the United States Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first... ”

 

 

"WHAT'S MY NAME?!"

 

 

The house lights suddenly drop as the bassline of "Bring The Pain" by Method Man fires up, and Va’aiga saunters out from behind the curtains wearing his usual hooded black boxer's robe, with silver trim and the silver fern of New Zealand on the back. The crowds boo heavily, but the ancient New Zealand war chant - the "Haka Te Ra" nearly drowns them out.

 

“Hmm... that seems a little louder than usual today.”

 

Ka mate, Ka mate! Ka ora, Ka ora!

Ka mate, Ka mate! Ka ora, Ka ora!

 

“... the Challenger!” Funyon continues, “weighing in at three hundred and nine pounds, and hailing from Rotorua, Aotearoa, he is the MaooOOOoori Badass, he is VA-UN-GUH!!”

 

Va’aiga slides into the ring and flings off his robe, revealing his fearsome form to the arena. They awe at the sight of the Maori Badass, and fear for the massacre Johnny Dangeous will have to survive. Va’aiga heads over to the far side of the ring, where he leans against the ropes, and shouts out the final “Hi” in beat with the Haka.

 

“Bring the Pain” fades into the background, a sexy female voice ever so charmingly whispers...

 

“JOHNNY DANGEROUS!”

 

Seattle lets out a joyous cheer as the eclectic beat of “After the Flesh” begins to pump through the speakers! Smoke pours onto the stage from all corners while dozens of strobes begin flashing, cutting through the smoke, and partially illuminating Johnny as he steps out from the curtains. He moves to the top of the ramp, taking a quick survey of the crowd through his high-tech Oakley shades, then reaches down and throws his sleek black trench coat open, revealing the prize of the forth coming battle strapped around his waist!

 

“And the Champion! From Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing in at two hundred seventeen pounds, he is the SWF United States Heavyweight Champion, “The Barracuda”, JOHNNY DAAAAAAAAAANGEROUS!!”

 

“... and here comes the hero of the next ten minutes that we have allotted for this match.” says Comet.

 

“Ten minutes?!” says Bobby quite shockingly. “Johnny will be dead in three!”

 

After blowing kisses and slapping all the open hands he could find, Johnny slides into the ring. He flings his shades out into the crowds, then sheds his coat, and unfastens the United States Title from his waist. Johnny mounts a corner turnbuckle and raises his title out to the crowds, as hundreds of flashbulbs explode! Johnny lowers his arms, and just as he is about to step down from the turnbuckle, Va’aiga rushes forward and SLAMS his fist into the Barracuda’s back, almost knocking him right off his perch!The Referee quickly signals for the bell as the lights suddenly crank on, and Va’aiga continues his assault!

 

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

The Maori heaves punch after punch into Johnny’s back, beating him down into the top of the turnbuckle! He grabs the Barracuda by his neck, tears him from the turnbuckle, and forcefully SLINGS him to the mat like a rag doll, causing the ring to tremble on Johnny’s impact!

 

“... and this match is underway!” shouts Comet, “Va’aiga with some underhanded tactics to kick this one off before the bell even rang.”

 

“Underhanded? Might I remind you, Comet, that THIS match is no disqualification?” say Bobby, quite condescendingly.

 

Johnny arches his back up, howling in pain as Va’aiga storms over to him and begins ferociously stomping his foot into Johnny’s chest! Johnny tries to roll to safety, but the Maori follows him with his foot - stomping every inch of him!

 

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

 

“It’s official,” says Riley, “the Maori Badass is having fish for dinner tonight!”

 

“And what are you having, Citizen Robert?”

 

“Sour kraut and weenies, of course.” replies Bobby, wiping the corner of his mouth.

 

Satisfied for the time being, Va’aiga halts his assault and drops down onto Johnny, forcing his palms into Johnny’s chest.

 

“Va’aiga with an early pin attempt.” says Comet as Hebner dives in for the count.

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

T- NO!!!

 

“Kick out just before two, Johnny isn’t going to fall this quickly.”

 

Grunting, the Maori Badass grabs onto the Barracuda by his jet black mane and jerks him to his feet. Va’aiga pops his fist into Johnny’s mouth, sending him stumbling back, then grabs onto Johnny’s wrist and whips him across the ring. The Barracuda hits the ropes, bounces back, and the Maori Badass MIGHTILY swings out his massive arm for an early eye watering Lariat, but Johnny wisely ducks down under the blow, and tears off for the opposite ropes! He bounces back towards Va’aiga, preparing for a DDT, but the Big Bad Maori quickly spins around - leading with his arm - and slices a Lariat across Johnny’s throat!

 

WHAM!

 

“Ha!” snorts Riley, “he got it off anyway.”

 

“But not nearly as powerful as that deadly Lariat he tried first.” adds Comet.

 

Once again Johnny is sent home to the mat, but the Secret Agent rolls to his feet, determined to keep fighting! He wobbles for a second, but snaps to attention when he catches a glimpse of the Maori Badass charging across the ring like a raging bull! Va’aiga swings out his fist for his patented Ultra Punch Combo, but Johnny sidesteps the Maori’s tattooed fist, and thrust his knee into Va’aiga’s gut! The crowds explode as the Trinity Judas is stopped dead in his tracks, and another knee to the gut doubles him over! Johnny grabs onto his Maori head, pulls back, and slams it across his knee! Va’aiga’s head pops off Johnny’s knee like a well aired basketball, and it sends him stumbling back, but instead of the usual stunning effect Johnny has come to expect, it only seems to further the Maori’s rage! Va’aiga grits down on his teeth hard as he shakes his head of the blow, then growls angrily as he charges towards a jaw dropped Johnny Dangerous! Again Va’aiga swings his fist out for a punch, but the Barracuda ducks under the blow, swings his arm around Va’aiga’s back, and hikes his hind leg up with a Scorpion Kick to the Maori Badass’ forehead!

 

WHACK!

 

“Johnny Dangerous is mounting a comeback trail!” declares Comet.

 

“Yeah, but Va’aiga’s got one thick skull.” adds Bobby, “those kicks will only slow the Maori down for a second, and do nothing more than piss him off even worse!”

 

Va’aiga staggers backwards from the stinging blow, and Johnny closes in, spinning on one foot while swinging his other leg out and catching the Maori across the side of his jaw with a spinning heel kick!

 

WHACK!

 

The crowds let out another cheer as the sound of Johnny’s kick echoes through the arena, and Va’aiga goes stumbling to the side! Va’aiga reaches out and grabs onto the ropes with one hand, while gently massaging his jaw with the other and never noticing the stealthy Johnny sneaking in from behind. Johnny quickly hugs his arms around Va’aiga’s waist from behind, interlocks his fingers, and with an overly loud grunt he pulls the Maori off his feet and falls backwards, slamming him neck-first into the mat! Fans applaud as Johnny jumps to his feet and strikes a martial arts pose, but the Maori Badass sits up unscathed!

 

“I bet Johnny is shitting a brick now.” says Bobby, smirking.

 

“Citizen Tu'ipulotu has some hellacious vitality,” says Comet, “but his fuel will soon diminish. All Citizen Dangerous needs to do is concentrate on avoiding Va’aiga’s strikes and wear him down. If he could get those handcuffs down, they might prove to be of some usefulness.”

 

“That’s about the ONLY way Johnny could possibly win.” says Riley. “As you can already see, Va’aiga is just doing fine with out them.”

 

Johnny takes a step back, staring in astonishment at the resilience behind Va’aiga. Johnny glances towards the far corner where the handcuffs hang, then without a second thought tears off across the ring towards them! He lunges onto the second rope, and scrambles to try and get to the top and grab the cuffs-

 

-Va’aiga rushes in from behind, and for the second time tonight slams his knuckles into Johnny’s back! The crowds let out an “Ooooooooooooh!” as a hollow THUNK sound rings out, and Johnny slumps forward. Va’aiga grabs at Johnny’s shirt, and Johnny fires back with a mule kick towards the Maori’s head, but Va’aiga ducks the foot and grabs onto the extended leg before Johnny can even reel it back in! Johnny reaches out for the pole holding the cuffs, and just as he can feel the metal against his fingertips, Va’aiga jerks the Secret Agent’s leg back, tearing him from the turnbuckle and sending him stomach-first into the mat! Johnny grimaces from the sharp pain in his stomach, then begins to push himself up-

 

-Va’aiga slams his foot into the side of Johnny’s head, then scrapes the heel of his foot against the Barracuda’s jaw! The crowds boo heavily, and the Maori Badass turns to them and lets out a mighty growl and shouts; “WHAT’S MY NAME?!” which gets an even louder blasting of hate from the fans!

 

“Va’aiga’s not going to win them over like that.” says Comet.

 

“Pfft, Va’aiga don’t need them,” counters Bobby, “he’s the freakin’ Maori Badass for crying out loud!”

 

Va’aiga dismisses them with a wave, then heads to the corner and climbs up for the handcuffs. After a slight hesitation between the second and third ropes, Va’aiga reaches up - holding to the pole with one hand - and grabs the handcuffs. He chuckles like a madman as he jumps down into the ring, nearly knocking the entire thing down, then saunters over towards Johnny. Va’aiga tightens one cuff down to let the clinking sound ring out, then flicks it back open again.

 

“It looks like Va‘aiga will be the one to bring these cuffs into play.” says Comet, “I thought you said he didn’t need them, Citizen Robert?”

 

“I didn’t say he didn’t need them,” growls Bobby, “I said he was doing just fine without them. Va’aiga’s just using them to teach Johnny here a lesson!”

 

Va’aiga grabs Johnny’s ankle, and brings the handcuff forward, but Johnny kicks his leg back and forth, trying to free it from the Maori Monster’s evil grasp! With his other leg, Johnny kicks fist foot into the side of Va’aiga’s knee not once, or even twice, but three times, to bring him down long enough for Johnny to pull his foot away from Va’aiga’s clutches, and roll to his feet! Va’aiga begins to stand, and Johnny jumps up and plants both feet into the Maori’s back, dropping him back down to the canvas with a drop kick! The Barracuda reaches down and like Va’aiga before him, grabs onto the leg he was kicking, and places it onto the middle rope. Johnny jumps up and drops his knee into the pit of Va’aiga’s knee, which sends his kneecap slamming into the mat! Va’aiga lets out a cry of pain, and tries to pull his leg in, but Johnny grabs it again, places it on the rope, and drops his knee across Va’aiga’s for the second time!

 

“Citizen Dangerous is wisely focusing his strikes on Va’aiga’s leg.” notes Comet, “proof that a good strategy can put this so called Maori Badass down!”

 

“He hasn’t put anything down yet!” snaps Bobby, “besides those are some cheap attacks. If this wasn’t a no disqualification match using the ropes like that would be out of the question!”

 

“How wise of Johnny to use the stipulations in his favor.” counters Comet.

 

Johnny leaves his opponents side for a moment as he fetches the nearby handcuffs. He grabs them and as he turns back towards the Maori Badass, Va’aiga reaches up and grabs onto Johnny’s shirt with one hand, and slings his fist into Johnny‘s gut with the other. He starts to pull himself up farther with Johnny stunned, but the Secret Agent refuses to allow his target to escape! Johnny bats at the top of Va’aiga’s head with the palm of his hand, but the Maori seems unmoved as he continues clawing his way to his feet, but Johnny unsuccessfully tries again with another few bats of the Maori‘s head! Determined not to let the feeble punches sway him, Va’aiga finally pops up to his feet with a mighty swing of his fist!

 

WHAM!!

 

Johnny goes stumbling back as a hand shoots up to cover his face. Va’aiga steps in, and wraps his massive arms around the Barracuda’s waist! He jerks Johnny off his feet, and begins to squeeze the life out of Johnny with a Bear Hug!

 

“This is it!” anticipates Bobby, “it’s about to be lights out for Johnny Dangerous! Nobody escapes the Maori Hug!”

 

“I don’t believe I have ever seen him use it before.” replies Comet.

 

Va’aiga squeezes as hard as he can while muttering; “What’s my name?” into Johnny’s ear and smirking evilly. The Barracuda can slowly feel his consciousness dipping in and out of reality, when he weakly looks down and realizes that he still has the handcuff clenched in his hand. Johnny brings both his arms up, and clamps both cuffs down onto his knuckles, then brings his fist down into Va’aiga’s face!

 

“Johnny must have some hidden powers there.” says Comet, “he is able to turn a pair of handcuffs into a pair of brass knuckles!”

 

“Anyone can do that!” snaps Bobby, “that’s being underhanded and cheap if you ask me!”

 

Va’aiga still holds on, refusing to let such a petty strike sway him, and Johnny swings his fist down again, slamming the metal hinge of the handcuffs into the Maori’s cranium! The crowds begin to grow with excitement as Johnny brings his arm back again, and SLAMS the cuff into Va’aiga’s forehead!

 

AND AGAIN! WHACK!

 

AND AGAIN! WHACK!

 

AND AGAIN! WHACK!

 

AND AGAIN! WHACK!

 

With each blow, Johnny can feel Va’aiga’s grip becoming looser and looser! He rears back one more time, just as far as he possibly can... and swings his cuffed fist into Va’aiag’s eye, which cuts a gash directly above his eye! Instantly he releases Johnny, as he back peddles holding his face, patting himself for blood! Johnny swoops in and swings his handcuff enhanced fist into Va’aiag’s head again, which knocks the Maori into the ropes!

 

WHACK!!

 

With the Maori Badass visibly stunned, Johnny throws the cuffs down, and shoves Va’aiga into the corner turnbuckle! He flings his knee into the Monster’s chest, then rotates himself and kicks his other knee into the Maori Badass, but suddenly Va’aiga lunges forward, grabs Johnny, spins around, and SLAMS the Barracuda back-first into the steel post with a sickening thud!

 

“The Maori Badass is coming to life once again!” shouts Bobby. “He is proving that time and time again, nothing you do can put a stop to him!”

 

“I’ll say,” says Comet, “Citizen Tu'ipulotu must have some unknown power behind him!”

 

“Yeah, it’s called I want the United States Title.” says Bobby, rolling his eyes.

 

Va’aiga swings a left cross punch into Johnny - socking him straight in the jaw, then another left cross, and another, then takes a step back, kisses his fist, and absolutely DECIMATES Johnny’s skull with a HUGE right hook! The crowds boo ever so heavily, but Va’aiga refuses to give them any attention. He hobbles across the ring then turns and pivots with his good leg, and hauls ass across the ring, DIVES forward leading with a shoulder-

 

“No, it can’t end like this!”

 

-Johnny dives out of the way, leaving the serrated metal post wide open to take the blunt of Va’aiga’s spear!

 

CRACK!!

 

The crowds gasp in horror as Va’aiga’s shoulder slams into the post with a sickening clang! Va’aiga stumbles backwards out of the turnbuckle howling in pain, none the wiser as Johnny steps in and quickly hooks onto Va’aiga’s leg as he grabs the Maori’s arm with his other hand, and hauls Va’aiga up and over while letting himself fall backwards!

 

SLLAAAAAAMMM!!!

 

“MI SLAM! MI SLAM!” cries Comet as the Maori Badass comes crashing down into the mat with a TREMENDOUS thud, and the crowds let out a huge cheer!! “This one is over!”

 

Johnny drops down and hooks the leg, taking his pin. Hebner drops to make the count, and seal the victory for Johnny Dangerous!

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

“No!” cries Bobby, tears in his eye. “Not like this, not like this!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“BY ODIN’S BEARD!” cries Comet, his chin resting against the table as the Maori Badass THRUSTS his shoulder off the mat with not even a fraction of a second to spare! “Va’aiga just kicked out of the MI Slam!! What’s it going to take to put this sinister Beast down for good?!”

 

Fans across the arena let out an exasperated sigh as the Maori rolls to his side after escaping doom, and Johnny bolts up to his knees! He pleads towards Hebner, holding up three fingers, but the Referee shakes his head no and holds up two fingers of his own. “Damn.” the Barracuda mumbles to himself, then slowly begins to stand to his feet.

 

“Ha!” snorts Riley. “I was so right! Johnny has finally figured out what I said before this match even started, and that was Johnny Dangerous can’t beat the Maori Badass, and now Johnny himself knows it! Just look at him, Johnny is pulling his hair out!”

 

“And That,” retorts Comet, “is exactly what you would like to make everyone THINK, Citizen Robert, but NOBODY is unbeatable! If Superman can beat Doomsday, and Adam Warlock can beat Thanos, then Johnny Dangerous can beat Va’aiga!”

 

“Oh... Get the hell out of here!” shouts Bobby, “Admit it, Comet, I was right! Your just trying to conjure up some hair-brained excuse to cover up the fact that YOU were wrong! Johnny is going down hard, and there is nothing you can say that will change that fact!”

 

Johnny steps backwards, shaking his head with an exasperated look as the Maori Badass rolls onto his stomach and begins to stand to his feet. A small chant of “JOHN-NY!” begins to stir up to try and keep Johnny’s spirits high, but most are too amazed at the will power of the Maori Badass! Johnny grits down hard on his teeth and rushes in towards Va’aiga with his fist drawn back! He swings, but the Maori Monster tosses his forearm up for the block, then THUNDERS his own fist into the Barracuda’s skull! Johnny stumbles back, stunned, and Va’aiga steps in! A second fist flies into Johnny, snapping his head back and knocking his entire body back along with it!

 

“HERE IT COMES!” cries Bobby as the Maori Badass crouches down like a linebacker waiting for the ball to snap, and getting a heavy amount of boos from the fans! Johnny looks up, and Va’aiga lunges forward, screaming, as he swings his cannon out for THE GRIM REAPERS MOST BELOVED LAAARIIIIIIAAAAAT-

 

-NOOOOOO!!! Johnny literally yet gracefully bends over backwards, and the Maori’s arm goes soaring just an inch over him! Johnny stands back up, turns towards Va’aiga, and as the Maori Badass spins back around, Johnny SLAMS the blunt of his foot into the Monster’s jaw with a Super Kick!

 

KA-RAACK!!

 

“The Barracuda just Johnny Kicked Va’aiga right out of his shoes!” shouts Comet, not even trying to conceal his excitement.

 

Va’aiga is knocked back into the ropes, and bounces back off of them! Stunned completely out of his mind, the Maori Badass stumbles forward with two slow steps.

 

“... but the Maori Badass is still standing!” says Bobby, looking for a sign of hope - his eyes wide open with his hands clasped together. “There is nothing Johnny Dangerous can do to stop Va’aiga from winning this match!”

 

Johnny swoops in for the kill before the Maori can regain his senses. With the crowds cheering him on, he quickly hooks onto Va’aiga’s leg as he grabs the Trinity Judas’ arm and slings it over his shoulder. Johnny pauses for a second, then tears Va’aiga off his feet, and hauls him over while letting himself fall backwards!

 

“MIIIIIIIIIIIIII-”

 

 

-SLAAAAAAMM!!!!

 

Va’aiga’s body bounces once after he is drilled neck first into the canvas, crumpling into the mat, and rolling into the corner!

 

“This could be it!” cries Comet. “A Johnny Kick followed by an MI Slam! There’s no way Va’aiga could survive that! Wait... wait, what’s this? Johnny’s not done?”

 

Disregarding the obvious pin attempt, Johnny stands back up to his feet. The toll this match has taken on his body really shows as the Barracuda sways for a mere second and stumbles a step. He thumps the side of his head with his palm to shake the cobwebs loose, then begins to march towards the corner where those shiny handcuffs lie.

 

“The fool!” says Bobby. “He has Va’aiga down, and now he wants to handcuff him? Somebody tell me the logic in that!”

 

To a loud cheer, Johnny grabs hold of the handcuffs then heads back over to Va’aiga and rolls the Maori onto his back. He leans down and through gritted teeth says, “WHAT’S... MY... NAME, VA’AIGA?!”

 

RAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“OH MY GOD!” COMET AND BOBBY SHOUT IN UNISON WHEN VA’AIGA, LIKE JASON VORHEES HIMSELF, COMES TO LIFE AS HE REACHES OUT AND TIGHTLY WRAPS HIS HAND AROUND JOHNNY’S THROAT!!

 

The crowds howl in absolute ASTONISHMENT, and Johnny nearly jumps out of his skin! Johnny grabs onto Va’aiga’s hand to try and peel his hand away from his neck, but the Maori just digs his nails in deep as a trail off blood begins to dribble down the Maori’s fingertips! Va’aiga gets to one knee, and pulls Johnny in close. He blows a stream of spit mixed with blood clear from his lips, and says, “No, Johnny, what’s MY name, Bitch!” Va’aiga keeps his hold, but pushes the Barracuda back enough so he can stand to his feet, but the second he lifts Johnny an inch off the mat, his knee gives out on him, and the Maori Badass buckles under the weight!

 

“I told you the leg strategy would work, Bobby!” shouts Comet as Johnny quickly seizes his open opportunity, slapping one end of the handcuff around Va’aiga’s wrist, then sliding out of the ring, wringing the Maori’s arm backwards. Johnny reaches into the ring and grabs Va’aiga’s other arm, tightly cuffing his hands around the steel post of the turnbuckle!

 

“There you go!” cheers Comet, “Johnny has Va’aiga pinned on his back, what a smart move by Citizen Dangerous!”

 

Va’aiga bucks and flails - rolling from side to side - but the handcuffs keep him down between the first rope and the mat, and the more he resist the deeper they cut into his wrist. Johnny climbs up to the outside apron, then ascends the turnbuckle directly over the Maori Badass. The crowds cheer heavily, and ready their cameras as Johnny stands tall upon the turnbuckle facing the ring, raises his arms out...

 

 

... then vaults himself high into the air - back-flipping off the turnbuckle! Flashbulbs from every inch of the arena explode when Johnny flips in mid air, unravels himself, and brings his feet down! Va’aiga grits down on his teeth while arching his back up to try and dodge the attack, but the Barracuda comes down with both feet into the Maori Badass’ chest!!

 

WHAAAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!

 

“DEAR ZEUS, ODIN, AND THOR’S HAMMER! SHOOTING JOHNNY DOUBLE STOMP!” cries Comet alongside the crowds who simply explode. “There is no way Va’aiga’s getting up from that, and if he does let me be the first to call him Super Man!”

 

“THAT’S GOT TO BE ILLEGAL!” screeches Bobby, “even if this is a no disqualification match! Just listen to that crowd, they can‘t believe it either!”

 

HO-LY SHIT!

HO-LY SHIT!

HO-LY SHIT!

HO-LY SHIT!

 

With a look of madness across his face, Johnny stands on Va’aiga’s chest then pivots from side to side, sickly grinding the heel of his foot into the Maori’s chest as Mark Hebner drops down for the count!

 

 

ONEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

The crowds erupt like Mt. Saint Helens as the last ding of the bell rings out, and “After The Flesh” THUNDERS out across the arena! The Barracuda steps off Va’aiga Hebner strolls over towards Johnny with the United States Heavyweight title in hand after fetching in from an attendant. He reaches down and grabs the Barracuda by the hand to help him to his feet, then raises Johnny’s arm up in bitter sweet victory!

 

“The winner of this match,” bellows Funyon, “and STILLLL UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIOOOOOOON!!! JOHNNNNNNNY DANGEROUUSS!!!!”

 

Hebner lets go of Johnny’s arm, then heads over to Va’aiga with a key to the handcuffs in hand.

 

“What a BRUTAL match!” says Comet. “The treacherous Va’aiga gave everything he had to try and put away Johnny Dangerous, but it proved to not be enough! Though it pushed Johnny completely over the edge, someone has finally put up a block to the Maori Badass’ bloody path!”

 

“Not enough?” says Riley, “If it weren’t for those handcuff’s Johnny would have never won! I’d like to see the Barracuda try and take Va’aiga on in a straight up regular match without using such cheap tactics!”

 

“I didn’t hear you complaining about those handcuff’s earlier, Citizen Robert!” snaps Comet. “Besides it took more than those handcuffs to end Va’aiga’s trail of terror anyway! They just proved to be of an assistance at the end.”

 

Johnny lowers his arm, and begins to head towards the ropes, when the Maori Badass begins to stand to his feet. Va’aiga clenches his chest, growling in pain and anger, then suddenly STORMS across the mat-

 

 

Johnny spins around and his eyes shoot open like a deer caught in somebody’s headlights as Va’aiga sadistically SLAMS his forearm into Johnny’s neck with A RED HOT, BLOOD STAINED, DOUBLE EDGED, PROPELLED BY A RAGE THAT HE HASN’T FELT SINCE THE FAMILY GUY GOT CANCELLED LAAAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!

 

Johnny goes down hard, spinning a complete three hundred sixty degrees, then comes crashing into the mat and shatters like an egg!

 

“Oh my God!” shouts an absolutely horrified Cyclone Comet. “What a terrible show of sportsmanship Va’aiga is displaying here, he lost fair and square to Johnny Dangerous!”

 

“But he isn’t going to let Johnny Dangerous just waltz out of here under his own power!” adds Bobby. “The price of Johnny winning this match is about to be severe! Johnny is going to pay with his life for that stupid stomp!”

 

The crowds react with a horrendously loud boo as the Maori stands tall, taking in heavy breaths as he stares down into the broken Johnny Dangerous...

[the.weej 0]

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

 

“Come in.”

 

The place, is Grand Slam Mark Stevens’ Commissioner’s office. The person, is Xstasy. The mood is… in a word… tense. Mark looks over his friend, who enters with a solemn face. He doesn’t sit down, or prop his feet up on Stevens’ desk. The Drug just looks at the veteran and commish.

 

-Grand Slam “X. Hey man, I wanted to see you…”

 

-X “Look, Mark. I’m not gonna stay long, I’ve got a match tonight, and you’ve got your… commissioner stuff to do.”

 

-Grand Slam “I know man, but about Sunday Night…”

 

-X “No, buddy. You listen to me. I didn’t mean to come off like a jerk or anything like that. I didn’t mean to bring you out there like that, or cause any trouble for you. I guess I owe you an apology for that…”

 

-Grand Slam “Well, that’s debatable.”

 

Xstasy pauses as he looks at Stevens again, this time, with less ease, and even more somber eyes. He sighs.

 

-X “But I came in here to tell you that I mean every word of what I said. It just had to happen out there, in front of everybody. I’m tired of keeping all of that inside, and behind closed doors.”

 

-Grand Slam “I see.”

 

-X “And I wanted to make sure you know… that whatever happens… I always have respected the hell outta you, man. And I still do. And I always will…”

 

-Grand Slam “Hey, you gotta do, what you gotta do.”

 

-X “Yeah.”

 

-Grand Slam “And I gotta do, what I’ve gotta do.”

 

X looks up at him, as if in response, but he stops, changes his mind, and looks down at the floor.

 

-X “Yeah.”

 

-Grand Slam “Now go get ready for that match.”

 

-X “Yeah.”

 

X exits, appropriately, while Stevens watches him go, and then looks down at his desk.

 

-Grand Slam “How did it come to this?”

 

Then, almost as if in answer to the question, he grits his teeth.

 

-Grand Slam “Brian…”

 

He opens a drawer, and rifles through it, getting to the back of a long line of files before lighting on a manila folder. At the top of the folder reads the wrestler’s name “Xstasy.” But inside it is another folder. A folder that reads “Phoenix.”

 

-Grand Slam “There’s gotta be something in here…”

 

Mark pulls the papers out, puts them on his desk, after sliding aside some papers, and opens to page one.

 

-Grand Slam “There’s gotta be a reason…”

 

TBC

[the.weej 0]

The Key Arena is chock full of native Washingtonians… from the state, not the city… ready to see some more live, man on man action… not the porn way, the wrestling way… as the Smartmark's Wrestling Federation returns from commercial, and goes once again to ringside! But not before a bevvy of colorful signs, including "Gimmee summa dat THUGG PASSION!," "The Maori Maonky," and of course, "I'd SNIP it off for ANNIE!,"

 

-Comet “We were overseas, but the tour is over, and there’s nothing like being back home in the good ole U.S. of A!”

 

-Riley “Welcome back people! Here comes the HUGE matchup between four guys who all want to be world champ!”

 

-Comet “That’s right, li’l buddy! Cyclone Comet alongside my sidekick, Bobby Riley!”

 

-Riley “Look, for once and for all, you’re MY sidekick!”

 

-Comet “HA HA HA HA! Citizen Riley is a Jester of Good Humor. Of course I am, my fine, four legged friend.”

 

-Riley “I AM! You know it, I know it, and everybody else kno-… wait a second… I don’t have four legs!”

“So do you wanna be a Franchise, and live large…“

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

 

-Comet “Listen to this crowd come alive!”

 

The Darkened arena comes alive as the newly returned Mak Francis steps onto the stage and looks over his sunglasses at the surrounding crowd…

 

DING DING DING

 

-Funyon “The Following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the Number One Contendership for the SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! Introducing first, from Philly… weighing in at 236 pounds… THE FRANCHISE… MAK… FRANNNNN-CISSSSSSSSSS!!”

 

-Comet “It’s the return of the MAK!!”

 

FWOOSH! FWOOSH! FWOOSH! FWOOSH!

 

Green Pyro shoots off of the sides of the stage as The Franchise smirks and moseys down the ramp to the ring. He walks up the steps, wipes his feet on the apron, and salutes to a HUGE cheer from the audience, and then climbs through the ropes. He scales the corner post, and lifts his fists to the sky, before dropping down and chilling in the corner. The arena immediately goes dark once more, and strobes flicker as new music starts up.

 

-Comet “A much anticipated return, and here he is… the FRANCHISE! I must say, he doesn’t look primed to disappoint here, Bobby.”

 

-Riley “What an overrated, overinjured LOSER!”

 

-Comet “Jealousy doesn’t become you, my young apprentice! And this guy is well liked and respected by the people of Seattle! Truly, this is the return of a HERO!”

 

“King of My World” really comes in, and the strobes give way to a saturating blue light as the next contestant enters the arena, walking backwards down the ramp with his arms outstretched.

 

-Riley “Speaking of Heroes…”

 

“BOOOOOOMMMMM!!!”

 

Craven’s turn and arm swing ignites the white pyro, and the after-fog drifts lightly as he gets to the ring.

 

-Funyon “His opponent, from Tampa, Florida… weighing in at 280 pounds… MICHAELLLLL… CRAAAA-VENNNNNNNNNN!!”

 

-Comet “After a good showing at the Pay Per View…”

 

-Riley “That’s Ashes 2 Ashes, which should be running on repeats all week. Call your local Cable or Pay Per View provider for details…”

 

-Comet “Michael Craven might be next in line to get at the World Gold tonight…”

 

-Riley “Wow, you didn’t insult my shameless plug.”

 

-Comet “That’s because you interrupted me. I had to finish my thought before I could insult your COUGHshamelessplugCOUGH!”

 

-Riley “I was waiting for that.”

 

The Nightmare King gets into the ring and climbs the turnbuckle adjacent to a smirking Mak Francis. He glares at The Franchise, before climbing the post and holding his arms apart, illuminated by a single spotlight. He stares at Mak awhile, before dropping down and stretching on the ropes.

 

-Comet “Uh oh, a little bit of anger in that glance…”

 

“Sleep Now in the Fire” starts in now, with the crowd IMMEDIATELY booing like a ghost convention. When the red popcorn… errr… Machine Gun pyro goes off, the appropriate chant starts up…

 

“F-U-FASAKI! F-U-FASAKI!”

 

-Funyon “Their opponent… from Sarasota, Florida… weighing in at 210 pounds. He is one half of the SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… and is the SWF UNITED STATES CHAMPION… EJIRO… FAAAAAAAAAAAA-SA-KIIIIIIIII!!”

 

-Comet “I gotta tell ya, this crowd does NOT like Ejiro Fasaki.”

 

-Riley “What do they know? Nothing? It’s not enough that he’s the best US Champ ever… it’s not enough that he is one half of the greatest Tag Team to ever grace the earth!”

 

-Comet “It’s not enough that he’s, as my good friend Captain Britain would say, a wanker.”

 

-Riley “You know Captain Britain?”

 

-Comet “Yes.”

 

-Riley “I SOOOOO want his autograph!”

 

The Rule gets in the ring, and eyes his opponents as the referee tries to keep them apart. But the rising tensions, fanned by a heel-irreverant Mak Francis, are too much for even Mr. Hardcastle to prevent.

 

-Riley “Uh oh… they’re starting early!”

 

-Comet “It’s impossible to control these three men… let alone FOUR!”

 

Fasaki goes for the Franchise, attacking him with forearms, and getting Mike Craven involved with some corner stomps as the boos intensify, and Funyon dives out of the way!

 

“…AND I WANT YOU!!!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!

 

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG! THE PERFECT DRUG! THE PERFECT DRUG!!!”

 

-Comet “Man, listen to these people!”

 

The silhouette only stands for a minute, as the young Upstart rushes to the ring to a cacophony of cheers! He hops over the top rope, and immediately goes to work on the larger of Mak’s two assailants, hitting kicks to the inside of the knee from behind.

 

DING DING DING

 

-Riley “Match is officially underway, and everything seems to be back in control!”

 

-Comet “Nobody knows how this match is gonna go tonight! Four men, one fall, and the chance to be a CHAMPION on the line!”

 

As Craven sells, Francis begins to fight back by blocking Ejiro’s elbow, and countering with a HUGE right hand! Another right rocks Ejiro’s dome as Xstasy nails Mike behind the knee, rolls up to his feet, and then BLASTS the big man with a dropkick! Nearby, Mak whips Ejiro across the ring. Fasaki hops over Craven, and rebounds just as the Franchise steps onto Michael, rushes in, and flies forward with a Forearm to the dome! He covers!

 

ONE

 

-Riley “Shoulder is up, and the pinfall came WAY too early there.”

 

-Comet “I agree, Civilian Riley. But an early victory is a true victory. Can’t hurt to try.”

 

Referee Hardcastle holds up a finger as Francis picks Ejiro up by the hair. Meanwhile, Craven is rising to his feet, being peppered by the blows of Xstasy as he rises. The Drug launches a kick, which is caught, and as the Enzugiri flies, the King of Nightmares lets go and watches Xstasy go falling to the ground. Chuckling to himself, Craven gets X up by the dreads, nails a quick gut knee, and then slaps his back, planting him to the mat with a DDT!

 

-Riley “GREAT MOVE there! That’ll take some of the addiction out of the drug!”

 

-Comet “Addictiveness. He’s not addicted… he’s addicted… wait, COVER!”

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

But a suddenly whipped Ejiro Fasaki runs into Craven, breaking up the pinfall. Michael rises, glaring at Fasaki as the smaller man turns to charge Francis, but just as he does, the big King of Nightmares grabs him by the hair and pulls him back down to the canvas!

 

-Riley “Oh ho… hey now… let’s keep the team together!”

 

-Comet “What team? It’s every man for himself out there, and Craven is taking advantage of that!”

 

Xstasy rises now, as the Franchise approaches. The Drug takes to the second rope, and leaps off, getting his legs around Craven’s shoulders and neck from behind. But the Nightmare King shrugs off the blows that X hits, lifts the Upstart up, and brings him face first down to the canvas! WHAMMM!!

 

-Comet “Electric Chair Drop! Michael Craven seems to be in firm control here!”

 

-Riley “No dizzy, my nizzy!”

 

But instantly, Mak Francis shifts behind Craven! He nails a hard fist to the kidneys, then hooks his leg around, and drops the two-eighty pounder to the mat backwards!!

 

-Riley “Sweet Russian Legsweep from the returner!”

 

-Comet “Citizen Franchise gets a nice move, and here’s the cover!”

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

BREAKUP by Fasaki! Ejiro immediately rains down on both of them with kicks, before picking out Mak Francis and nailing some elbows! He rears back, rushes forward, and spins for the…

 

-Riley “SCREAMING ELBOW!”

 

-Comet “Must you yell so loud when you say that?”

 

-Riley ‘It wouldn’t be screaming, if I wasn’t yelling.”

 

In any case, the elbow misses a ducking Francis, who gets his arms around Ejiro from behind. Fasaki suddenly nails a hard elbow to the body, that releases the hold, then turns around, grabbing the hand of his opponent! He rolls the arm, locks the wrist, and then shoots a leg over the shoulder, dropping down on it and sending Mak to the mat! WHAMMM!!

 

-Riley “A HARD Fasaki fuser there.”

 

-Comet “Good moves by all, Fasaki breaking up that waistlock and nailing a hard technique of his own!"

 

But Ejiro is not done. He lifts Francis up again, sending him to the far corner! Ejiro charges in, splashing in the corner, and waiting for his opponent to drop before nailing stomps! At the same time, Craven rises, and sees Xstasy on the ground. He gets to him, lifting him up by the head again, and pressing him up over his head!

 

-Comet “Sheer two-hundred eighty pound power!”

 

-Riley “It’s tough to beat a man that big head on.”

 

But the Drug suddenly squirms free, getting his calves around the larger man’s head, and dropping down in a Hurricanrana! A big pop opens up as the X rises, and rushes towards a retreating Ejiro. He extends his hand, grabs the back of the head, and then plants Fasaki with a HARD Bulldog!

 

-Comet “The Perfect Drug is all over this ring! First dropping down Michael Craven, now taking it to Fasaki with a Bulldog!”

 

-Riley “Speed is a good asset in this kind of match. If X is smart, he’ll pick and choose his battles, let the action come to him, until he has a chance to put it away.”

 

-Comet “Wow… well said Riley… you might be getting this commentary thing after all!”

 

-Riley “I’ve been doing it longer than you, assmunch!”

 

-Comet “We’ll have to work on your choice of words, though…”

 

Xstasy now turns towards Mak Francis, who comes out of the corner groggily towards him! The Drug grabs him by the wrists, falls back, and kicks the Mak overhead and to the mat, rolling backwards and bridging the cover!

 

-Riley “He’s got him…”

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

TWOOOOOOOOO!!

 

-Comet “Powerful kickout there by Mak Francis!”

 

-Riley “X going after the returnee there!”

 

A hard boot now hits Xstasy from Michael Craven as Ejiro rises to his feet! Craven gets X up, whips him to the far ropes, and as he rebounds, LAUNCHES a HUGE forearm towards the Drug… who DUCKS!! But even that is not enough to prevent Fasaki from tripping up his leg and causing him to fall headfirst INTO the Franchise still on the canvas! Both of them sell, as Ejiro drops down for a cover on X!

 

-Comet “Fasaki taking advantage of those two going at it.”

 

ONE…

 

TWO…

 

-Riley “OH!”

 

WHAMM… broken up by Craven! Fasaki rises, staring up at the massive MC before getting up Xstasy and calling the Nightmare King over. Together, they whip the Drug to the ropes, he bounces back, and falls to a huge double shoulder charge! Ejiro now drops to X and nails a bunch of right hands, his victim trying desperately to cover himself. But now Mak Francis is up, and nailing arms to the back of Michael Craven, who spins around. The Franchise goes for a whip… REVERSED! Mak comes charging back in and ducks a clothesline, getting off of the opposite ropes and rushing in for a hard…

 

-Comet “YAKUZA KICK!!”

 

Instantaneously, Francis takes to the near second rope, slinging himself upwards, and dropping onto Craven’s neck with a hard Legdrop!

 

-Comet “What a MOVE! Francis gets some air… and this could be a near fall, here!”

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

TWOOOOOOOO!

 

-Riley “Nope. The King of Nightmares has it under control!”

 

Craven kicks out, just as, not far away, Xstasy suddenly flips backwards, positioning himself above Ejiro Fasaki. The US champ now finds himself the victim of pulverizing blows from the fists of X. The Drug helps Fasaki to his feet, and whips him to a corner, charging in, but eating turnbuckle as Fasaki rolls out of the way, then returns to BASH Xstasy’s face into the corner!

 

-Crowd “OHHHHHHHH!”

 

-Comet “A hard hit from Ejiro there, and X might be in trouble!”

 

-Riley “Well, Rule can beat you with his environment. He’s a tough competitor to judge! And I like his jersey!”

 

-Comet “You would turn play-by-play into fashion, wouldn’t you?”

 

-Riley “GRRRRR…”

 

Mak Francis suddenly goes for a whip, which gets reversed, and he approaches a retreating Ejiro! Francis hits the Bulldog… then hops up for a strut, and gets FLOORED by a huge…

 

-Riley “FOREARRRRMMMMM!!!”

 

-Comet “Great shades of Superman! Michael Craven just hit that HUGE, EVIL FOREARM and knocked the cocky Franchise right into next week!”

 

-Riley “There sure are a lot of Forearms in this match! But THAT… was a Forearm! A dirty Forearm! A NASTY Forearm…”

 

-Comet “Are you quoting George Clinton again?”

 

-Riley “A-TOM-IC… AAAAAAAARRRRRMMM!”

 

-Comet “Okay, that’s just scary.”

 

Mak falls hard as Craven grabs him around the throat, and gets a five count. Meanwhile, Xstasy rushes out of the corner, springs off of the second rope, and NAILS Mike in the face with both feet!

 

-Comet “WHEEL KICK! The new FOREARM of the SWF!”

 

-Riley “I doubt it.”

 

-Comet “Ehhh… yeah, you’re right.”

 

Craven falls hard, and Ejiro rises, but is quickly downed by a hard side kick from the Drug! The crowd cheers as Xstasy feels the momentum shifting his way… and starts HULKING UP. Well, not really. Actually, he just climbs the turnbuckle, makes a quick signal, and flies off with a shooting star press!

 

-Comet “The Drug FLIES!”

 

… and hits hard on the CANVAS!!

 

-Riley “Craven moved!”

 

-Comet “And look at Fasaki!”

 

Xstasy holds his now tender ribs as Ejiro stalks over and drops a hard knee onto them! As X growls in pain, the US Champ helps X up, locking in a wrist lock, and then sending a kick to the side! Fasaki then puts X down with a chop to the back of the knee!

 

-Comet “Like a Jackal, Ejiro picks at the remains…”

 

-Riley “Hey, you gotta give the guy credit for his smart moves! Besides, he doesn’t have the Judge out here to help him, so he’s got to rely on every move in the book to survive.”

 

-Comet “The Drug looks hurt. I think he landed wrong on that missed SSP!”

 

Mak Francis rises, but meets Michael Craven head on, and starts launching punches! Staggering Craven, Mak gets a whip, and on the rebound, doubles the big man with a knee… and then scoops him up from underneath, falling back HARD on the mat!!

 

-Comet “GUTWRENCH SUPLEX! And we BOTH know what that means, Riley!!”

 

-Riley “It means I can stop watching!”

 

The Crowd begins to pop hard now, as Mak rises, pumping himself up during the walk to the turnbuckle! Meanwhile, Ejiro has an armbar locked in on Xstasy on the mat, but X uses the ropes to spring himself backwards, and get out of the wrench! He kicks Fasaki in the head, breaking the hold, then looks to Francis on the turnbuckle!

 

-Comet “It’s time for…”

 

The Franchise leaps off, catches a ridiculous amount of air, falls to the flashes of tons of cameras, and then gets…

 

-Comet “… Brotherly LOVE!!”

 

-Riley “SPEARED OUT OF THE AIR!!!”

 

-Comet “Oh my god!!”

 

The Perfect Drug rushes Mak, and Spears upwards, just as the Franchise is falling! The result is a collision that puts both men down, next to the fallen Michael Craven. And the co-tag champ slides over, dropping an arm across Mak Francis’ chest!

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

-Riley “NO! Craven!”

 

-Comet “And I’m glad!”

 

MC lands a chop onto Fasaki, breaking up the count, before getting to his feet and bringing Ejiro with him! The winded Fasaki is hoisted up onto Michael’s shoulders, but somehow squirms out of the grasp and takes Craven down from behind, locking in his submission finisher!

 

-Comet “Cobra Crossface! It’s locked in on Craven! This could do it for the double champion here!”

 

-Riley “Come on there, Rule! Hang in!”

 

Craven roars as the ref drops to ask for the tap… but quick as a cat, Mak Francis interrupts the submission by dropping onto Ejiro, and then lifting him up to his feet. Francis nails right hands on Fasaki, whips him, and on the rebound spins Fasaki into the air and drops him back first over his knee! Rule falls to the ground, and Mak takes a moment to catch his breath, a moment that the Perfect Drug takes full advantage of by rolling him up!

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

TWOOOOOO!

 

-Comet “Almost, but not quite! But a good strategy by X there!”

 

Francis gets the shoulder up, but that doesn’t stop Xstasy from rising meeting him again, grabbing, and spinning Mak over in a backslide!

 

ONE

 

-Comet “AGAIN?”

 

TWO

 

-Riley “Close!”

 

TWOOOOOO!

 

-Comet “Great wrestling from the ICTV Champ! Ya have to be on your toes to get that guy!”

 

Francis is able to escape that too, and now gets up quickly to meet the smaller threat! He launches a hand in a knife edge chop- WHACK!!

 

WHOOOOOO!

 

And X fires back with a ridgehand… WHAP!!

 

OHHHHHHH!

 

-Riley “A chop battle!”

 

WHACK!

 

WHOOOOOOOO!

 

WHAP!!

 

OHHHHHHHH!

 

WHACK… NO! Xstasy bridges backwards, the chop missing his chest, and launches his feet up, kicking the Mak in the face, and landing in a walkover on his feet! X rises, backs up to hit the ropes, and charges right into a Drop toe hold!! He hits the mat, and then gets placed in a single leg crab from the newly returned Franchise!

 

-Comet “Now this one looks good! Mak seems to be wearing down the lighter man!”

 

-Riley “I’m surprised those two aren’t teaming together, ganging up on the other guys, or something else suspicious and despicable.”

 

-Comet “I told you before, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, these guys aren’t gonna let it go to waste!”

 

-Riley “At any rate, I think X might tap here…”

 

-Comet “The Franchise, has the hold locked in…”

 

But victory does not come so easily. Immediately, Michael Craven breaks up the submission, and begins wailing away on Francis. Ejiro rises nearby, and sees Craven whip the fan favorite to the corner, charging in and getting a hard splash! As Mak bounces out into the ring area, Ejiro approaches, and nails a KICK… WHAM…

 

-Riley “STUNNER!!”

 

Sending Francis to the mat, and standing, almost giddily, with a little spin. The arena is already booing, as Craven drops down for a cover.

 

-Comet “The Rule gets his licks in there… but Craven’s got it!”

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

-Fasaki “HEY!”

 

Ejiro breaks up the pin and then pushes Michael Craven backwards, jawing with him angrily. Craven glares at Ejiro, then nods, before clotheslining him out of his boots with a hard right! Fasaki falls, and then Craven grabs him, scooping him to his feet, and then TOSSING him out of the ring to the outside!

 

-Riley “Hey, that’s not very sportsmanlike…”

 

-Comet “True… but it was FUNNY!”

 

With the nuisance gone, The King of Nightmares turns towards Francis, but eats a hard kick from Xstasy to the gut! Immediately, X rolls over his back, bounces off of the ropes, and plants his right foot firmly on the ass end of Craven! Pushed forward, an embarrassed Michael meets a rising Mak, who locks on, and plants him in a hard DDT!!

 

-Riley “Oh no…”

 

-Comet “Great move there from the two, but X had better not get too cocky with moves like that!”

 

-Riley “You mean like kicking him in the ass? That’s just not kosher!”

 

Francis kicks Craven out of the ring, then turns to meet the Drug head on. No smiles are exchanged between them, only glares of purpose as they circle, and the crowd begins to stomp like madmen!!

 

-Riley “Listen to these bloodthirsty wallabies!”

 

-Comet “The crowd wants to see a contest between these two, and I can’t blame them. As talented as they are…”

 

-Riley “SHHH! There they GO!”

 

X makes the first jump, and the two lock up! Xstasy sends rising knees up, but Mak ends up getting the better with a hip toss! The Drug rises, but gets a knee to his rib, and winces. The Franchise notices, and ends up getting a right to the same spot! Now he whips X to the ropes, and nails a HARD dropkick to the mid section! Xstasy goes down, and Mak goes in for the kill!

 

-Comet “Francis smells blood, and with X’s injured ribs, it’s a wonder he can go toe for toe with the Franchise.”

 

He raises X up, and whips him again, but the ankle of the Drug is grabbed from the outside, and he falls to the mat! Fasaki then pulls him outside, and Francis goes angrily to the ropes as the Referee tries desperately to stop him!

 

-Riley “Good move there!”

 

-Comet “FASAKI ruined it! Somebody needs to get a can of Black Flag and exterminate that cock-a-roach!”

 

-Riley “Yep. A Cockroach… because you can NEVER get rid of him!”

 

As Mak shouts to Fasaki, Ejiro whips the one-pound heavier man into the steel steps… CLANNNGGGG!!!! X goes immediately down, and Fasaki goes to work, getting X up, and pushing him front first into the apron! Xstasy shouts audibly as his ribs are ground into the side of the ring!

 

-Comet “Oh man… not good for the Drug.”

 

-Riley “If Ejiro takes him out there, that’s one less man to worry about, and he can concentrate on getting the fall on the other two!”

 

Suddenly, the Franchise hears thumping footsteps behind him, and drops down to narrowly avoid a harrowing elbow from the newly entered Michael Craven! Unfortunately, the referee wasn’t so lucky! Sexton Hardcastle bounces off of the ropes and goes down limp. The Nightmare King just stares, but soon gets Craven up, presses him up, and drops him to the canvas with a loud BAMMM!!

 

-Riley “The ref! MY GOD! Did you see that shot, right to the head of the ref! What an incredible move by Michael Craven… he could have the match Won with that one…”

 

-Comet “Ummm… Riley…”

 

-Riley “Huh?”

 

-Comet “You do know he’s not supposed to hit the Ref, right?”

 

-Riley “Oh. A small technicality…”

 

Ejiro is ready now, getting Xstasy up, and pulling a steel chain from his attire!

 

-Comet “He has a chain in his tights!”

 

-Riley “Please, Comet, no discussing anatomy during a match.”

 

-Comet “No really! He’s pulling it out!”

 

-Riley “Oh, god, Ejiro, nobody wants to see that…”

 

-Comet “It’s made of solid steel!”

 

-Riley “Disgusting. Tell me when its over!”

 

As Bobby covers his eyes, Fasaki wraps the chain around his fist, and goes for Xstasy! But the Drug drops to the ground, tripping up Ejiro, and sending his chain-wrapped hand into the corner post! The metallic thud causes him to scream and hold his hand in pain, as Xstasy rises, and kicks the US Champ in the side! He then strips him of the chain, and takes it with him to the ring, sliding in, and rising just behind Michael Craven, now choking out the downed Mak Francis!

 

-Comet “Now that’s just not right!”

 

-Riley “Tell me about it! Pulling your chain out of your pants? What are we, animals?”

 

-Comet “Open your eyes, Bobby… I’m talking about the blatant choke that Craven has on Mak Francis!”

 

-Riley “Oh… yeah that too…”

 

The Upstart comes behind Craven, and wraps the chain around his neck from behind! Craven rises, choking for air as X closes his windpipe from behind! The largest man in the match tries to turn around, but that only causes X to pull harder!

 

-Comet “Xstasy is taking it to the big man… and he’s using a steel chain!”

 

-Riley “Illegally, I might add!”

 

-Comet “Hey, Craven was choking out the Franchise, its only right that he get the same treatment! And that’s just what the Drug has in mind here!”

 

-Riley “I don’t think he can breathe! Xstasy… you ever hear of DQ?”

 

Now the Drug goes to the near turnbuckle, climbing up while still reigning in Michael Craven! As he rises, Mak Francis begins to stand, and when X is at the top, he suddenly surges forward and pulls on the top rope! Xstasy falls, and is nearly crotched on the rope, but maintains his balance, instead, falling over and to the inside of the ring, letting go of the chain!

 

-Comet “Mak gets a break up, and he might be able to take control here!”

 

The King of Nightmares coughs, trying to reestablish his breath, while the Franchise gets the Drug up to his feet! A hard right to the belly sets Xstasy up for a double over! Mak hooks his leg up, places an arm over his own shoulder, and then lifts X up overhead, but a sudden KICK frees Xstasy’s leg! Instantly, the Drug spins around, and drops to the mat, hooking his free arm around Francis’ neck and snapping it back upon impact… BAMMMMMM!!!!

 

-Comet “XCEPTION!! XCEPTION!! This one’s all over!”

 

-Riley “Out of NOWHERE too!”

 

The Drug immediately covers, but the referee is all but out of it! He turns to look at Hardcastle, and shouts at the striper!

 

-X “Come on, Ref! COVER!!”

 

-Comet “It looks like Referee Hardcastle has come to his senses… and we could have a winner here! No one else is up!”

 

Barely looking, the ref lifts a hand and lets it drop!

 

ONE

 

-Riley “Is that it?”

 

He drops it a second time!

 

TWO

 

-Comet “X is on his way to a title shot!”

 

He drops it a third time!

 

THREEEEEEE!!

 

-Riley “WHAT?”

 

-Comet “NO!”

 

TWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

Hardcastle holds up two fingers, and slumps back down to the mat as the entire arena goes NUTSO!!! Xstasy shakes his head, sighs, and then stands up.

 

-Riley “He kicked out!”

 

-Crowd “RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!”

 

-Comet “Can you believe that? Mak Francis kicks out of the Xception! He dug deep, and got the shoulder up! But he’s in some trouble here!”

 

As X scales the top rope, Fasaki slides into the ring, looking for his chain, and seeing a nearly dead Mak Francis instead! Immediately he goes over, nails a knee drop, and covers!

 

-Comet “What a scavenger!”

 

ONE

 

-Riley “Yes…”

 

TWOOOO

 

-Riley “YESSS!!”

 

WHAMMMMMM!!!

 

-Riley “NOOOOO!”

 

From out of nowhere, Xstasy dives down with a hard flip on top of both Ejiro and the Mak! The Impact sends both of them to La-La Land as X slowly gets to his feet, trying to get his bearings and decide which of the two victims should be decimated. Unfortunately, Michael Craven rushes forward and tackles him to the ground! MC rises to his feet, and stomps away at X, forcing him out of the ring, yet still trying to deal with the effects of the chain choke!

 

-Comet “The power man takes control there! Xstasy almost had it, again!”

 

-Riley “A pin of Mak could do it here! C’mon Craven… make me proud…”

 

The King of Nightmares stalks back toward the center of the ring, just as Referee Hardcastle begins to rise to his feet, back turned. He grabs for Mak Francis, positioning him over the chain that lies in a coil nearby. Ejiro Fasaki crawls slowly to a nearby corner at the same time, almost completely out of it. Just then, Francis, still on his knees, shoots up an arm and catches the gonads of Michael Craven off guard!

 

-Comet “LOW BLOW!”

 

-Riley “SUNOVA…”

 

-Comet “The Mak gets revenge, and a bit of leeway… and these fans LOVE IT!”

 

-Riley “Well that makes them cheaters too! And cheaters never win! C’mon, Craven!”

 

But Riley’s wishes are not to be! Immediately, Francis stands, hooks a leg up, and strains to lift up his opponent… which he does!!

 

-Comet “He’s… he’s getting him up… he HAS IT!”

 

-Riley “There’s no way…”

 

-Comet “Mak Francis hoisting Michael Craven into the air… and… he’s gonna hit the FRANCHISE TAG…”

 

After a short stall, Mak drops his opponent down, back first…

 

-Comet “… right onto that STEEL CHAIN!!”

 

WHAMMMMMMMM!!!

 

Mak rises to his feet, but finds himself immediately and brutally turned around! He shoots out a slow punch, but to no avail as Ejiro Fasaki whips him to the corner… and Mak doubles over after hitting!!

 

-Riley “Yes! Look at the strength and power of Ejiro Fasaki! The US Champion is in great condition…”

 

-Comet “Wait a second… I think the corner guard was taken off!”

 

Indeed, it was, when nobody was looking. Thus Fasaki gets the advantage, and wastes no time hooking the bent over Franchise’s arms, then driving his head to the mat with a loud SLAMMMM!!

 

-Comet “A HARD EJIROCATION! The Scavenger gets the best cut of meat!”

 

-Riley “EJIROCATION! It’s finisher City in there!”

 

-Comet “But WAIT… I think its about to get even better!”

 

The crowd is on their feet with boos… and then LOUD CHEERS, as the Perfect Drug slides back into the ring! He is visibly upset, spitting off to the side and saying something not quite audible as he unzips his wetsuit and approaches Cocky Fasaki from behind! Ejiro stands, looking with glee at Francis… and then finds himself hoisted into the air over X’s shoulders! The Upstart wrenches him, SLAMMING his foot into the mat before dropping back, and continuing to twist Fasaki’s body out of position!

 

-Comet “SOARGASM!! SOARGASM!!”

 

-Riley “Get to the ropes!”

 

Ejiro flails around, with the referee seeing the entire machine, he tries to get a tap out!

 

-Fasaki “GET HIM OFFA MEEEEE!!!”

 

-Comet “This could be it for X…”

 

Everyone cheers, everyone shouts, flashbulbs go off as Ejiro’s face contorts into funny, albeit not pretty, pictures for the many audience members with the benefit of flash photography. After a full twenty-five seconds of torture, a barely recovering Michael Craven crawls over to break it up! But by the time he gets his arm over to Xstasy to break up the submission, it is too late! Ejiro slaps the mat weakly, and the ref signals for the bell!

 

DING DING DING

 

-Riley “SO CLOSE!”

 

-Comet “Close only counts in Hand Grenades and Horseshoes… and the SWF is NEITHER! He did it!”

 

-Funyon “Here is your winner… and number one contender to the SWF WORLD TITLE… EXXXXXX-STASEEEEEEEEE”

 

-Comet “What an ending there, as the Perfect Drug pulls out a gritty but hard fought victory!”

 

-Riley “You can say that again, Comet! I can’t believe this one… there’s no excuse for a win like that!”

 

-Comet “Well, what did you want? Somebody had to win, and it was chaos in there!”

 

-Riley “Yeah, but I’d expect more from the Drug. Like more of that chain use! Or maybe a steel chair! Or he could have gotten a sledgehammer… or something!”

 

-Comet “He did use the chain. I won’t say he used the best of tactics here, but we both heard him say he’s tired of playing by the rules… and I for one don’t blame him!”

 

-Riley “Without rules… there can be no JUSTICE!”

 

-Comet “But when rules don’t work… JUSTICE changes them!”

 

-Riley “But when rules work for JUSTICE, change can… be… wrought for the justice… that rules… change?”

 

-Comet “I don’t understand a word you just said.”

 

-Riley “I’m not good at this whole superhero thing.”

 

Xstasy stands up as his music plays, looking at the carnage around him. He kicks off a nearly dead Michael Craven, and heads past Mak Francis, who is using a nearby rope to stand. The Franchise looks at the Drug for awhile, with the crowd still cheering, as Mak grips the rope with one hand, and extends the other towards X!

 

-Comet “A show of sportsmanship there, both of these guys understood what this match was about!”

 

-Crowd “BACK THE MAK!! BACK THE MAK!! BACK THE MAK!!”

 

-Riley “These dummies want him to shake the hand of a TRAITOR like Mak Francis?”

 

-Comet “How is he a traitor?”

 

-Riley “I’ll get back to you on that one… but still!”

 

Xstasy glances at the crowd, looks at Mak Francis with his hand outstretched, and then merely turns and exits the ring, to a collective “AWWWWWWWW” from the audience. Mak shrugs, then makes his way to a nearby turnbuckle and climbs, raising his fists groggily into the air with a HUGE ovation!

 

-Comet “A great cheer for the Mak, but man, what is up with Xstasy?”

 

-Riley “I have no idea, Cyke! I think the guy’s not gettin’ his vitamins.”

 

-Comet “More action coming soon, but tonight, these four guys gave it there all. One winner could emerge, and frankly, I’m glad that X will be getting at least A chance to prove himself.”

 

-Riley “ICTV champ, that’s gotta count for something.”

 

Xstasy walks up the ramp without looking back as Mak Francis soaks up the adoration of the arena, before the show fades to commercial.

 

FIN

[the.weej 0]

The Key Arena is the center of excitement. All around the world, millions of die hard fans tune in to watch the latest edition of SWF quality entertainment. Storm has already gathered in many and as the scene returns from commercials, people are still in their seats. The sight of them on the giant screen sends chills down their spines as they leap in the air, up and down, up and down, waving their foam fingers, displaying their banners, and just cheering their hearts out in hopes for air time.

 

"The excitement is contagious, Robert," resident superhero Cyclone Comet states, "I can just feel the energy in here. And why not? The next battle is a classic example of good versus evil."

 

"Can we go through at least one match without you raving on about good versus evil?"

 

"No."

 

"Sorry folks for my partner's wild imagination. But he's right about one thing, it is exciting. The Champion Tom Flesher is set to take on the High Flying Prince himself, Erek Taylor. Erek earned the right to face him after he beat Tom, Michael Craven, and Wildchild in an elimination match two weeks ago. Now he's going to cash his shot in and see if he can win the most presitigious prize in the business."

 

"After a brutal Ashes to Ashes performance, will both citizens be at their top game?"

 

Funyon clears his throat and bellows out, "Ladies and gentlemen, the next and final contest of the evening is scheduled for one fall and is for the Smarks Wrestling Federation WoooooOOoorrrllllddd Championship!!!"

 

With no time passed by, "Numb" begins to kick up over the speakers. Its soft and enticing beat ignites the fans into a frenzy of hatred. Chants begin to arise. Smoke begins to shroud the entrance way, and as the smoke clears, there stands the Wonder Kid, the High Flying Prince Erek Taylor in his now infamous stance. He takes a quick spin and pumps his arm in the air, igniting another deafening wave of boos.

 

"Introducing first, the challenger, from Anaheim, California, he weighs in at 180 pounds...... EREK!!! TAAYLLOOOOORRRR!!!!!"

 

Another expected reception.

 

Erek walks down the ramp, using both hands and flipping the finger to everyone he passes by. He stops suddenly in the middle and blows a kiss to a beautiful girl....

 

 

....before flipping the finger off to her boyfriend. Erek smirks and slides into the ring and heads over to where Funyon and referee Eddy Long stands. He pats Funyon hard on the back and rubs Eddy Long on his head.

 

"Even before the match begins, citizen Taylor is already getting on the official's bad side."

 

"Comet, he's on everyone's bad side. Well, except mine. Why? Because I seem to be the only one to identify greatness in this league."

 

"Right...."

 

Erek waits, hopping and shaking off the cobwebs, testing out the spring of the ropes. He bounces off one set and races across the ring as the lights change color. "I am the Man" begins to play, and like a flame to a candle, the music instantly erupts the Key Arena. Seattle hasn't heard this many cheers since the Sonics were in the Finals. Words describing the man begin to flash across the Smarkstron...

 

"BOOOOM!!!!"

 

 

....while explosions rock the stage. Tom Flesher steps out from the back, with the title belt draped over his shoulder. He takes a pose, giving no recognition to the cocky Erek Taylor inside the ring. Tom walks towards the ring, and unlike his counterpart, he gives out high fives to the fans in the front row.

 

"And his opponent, from Buffalo, New York, he weighs in at 213 pounds.... he is the SWF Champion of the WOOORRLLLLDDD!!! TOM!!! FLESHEERRRRRRR!!!!!!!"

 

More cheers.

 

Tom enters the ring and hands the title belt to the official, who holds it up high for the crowds to see. He displays it for Erek, who examines it before achknowledging that it's real. Long hands the belt to a ringside crew member as Funyon exits the ring and makes towards his usual seat beside the timekeeper.

 

Eddy Long heads back to the center of the ring, where he immediately performs a judo chop in the center, signaling the bell to ring and the match to begin.

 

 

Ding ding ding!!!

 

"And here we go, two of the best fighters in the league right now competing over the most precious prize in the federation. Tom Flesher, ultimate technician, against Erek Taylor, daredevil extraordinaire," Riley says. "Both men circle the ring and immediately go in for the lockup. Tom easily turns it into a wristlock on Erek Taylor, who starts to battle out of the hold. He falls forward, rolls over, spins to the left before kicking back up to his feet, twisting his arm back into its right position. The momentum carries Erek forward, and he pulls Tom's arm down hard enough and floors the Champion. Erek stands up and quickly leaps up before dropping an elbow down on Tom's face. But the Champion rushes back to his feet and gets back into an offensive stance."

 

"Robert, I thi-"

 

"Not now Comet," Riley says, "as Tom lunges forward and tackles Erek down by the gut. He jumps over Erek's upper body and mounts himself on Erek's head. Clamping down hard on Erek's arms, Tom traps the High Flying Prince in a front facelock. He increases pressure, dropping down to his knees to take out Erek's legs. But Erek doesn't get held down that easily, as he pulls Tom closer to the ropes. Erek takes a leap up with his face still down and manages to get his feet on the top rope. Using that as a slingshot, Erek launces himself up, and the body weight is too much for Tom to handle and Erek forces Tom down to the ground. The hold is broken and Erek rushes to his feet, quickly delivering a kick as Tom starts to rise. He grabs hold of Tom's hair, drags the champion back up, and connects with a hard right. Erek grabs hold of Tom's wrist and hurls him across the ring. Tom rebounds and goes for a retaliation shotei, but Erek reads it and eludes it, allowing the momentum to carry Tom forward. Tom rebounds again, and this time, Erek catches Tom on the run, slinging his arm around the Champion's neck before trapping him with a sleeper hold."

 

"Can I say something now, Robert?"

 

"No."

 

"But-"

 

"I said no, Comet."

 

"Robert, the Boston Strangler is on the Smarkstron."

 

"What?"

 

"The Boston Strangler is on the big screen."

 

"Oh," Riley says, "I wonder what that's about."

 

Erek spots Strangler as well, and he releases the hold. Flesher turns around and goes for the counter, but seeing Erek intently staring at the television screen causes him to turn around as well. Tom sees Strangler, and the Bostonian does not look happy. He clears his voice and speaks.

 

"Erek, it's not like me to interrupt somebody's title match but since this was you, I decided to make some exceptions. I wanted to tell you how amazing it felt to finally throw a punch at you and find out that you are in fact, just another loud mouth whining bitch."

 

The crowds instantly cheer, but Erek doesn't care. His eyes burn with fury as he sees his nemesis on the screen.

 

"Erek, I told you time and time again that I did not want to fight you. But you made me realize that the only way I'll ever get truly better, is if I face my fears. I was afraid of my old self taking control again. I was afraid of my instincts kicking up and I was afraid of transforming back to that heartless monster. But I know who I am and you can't change me! You're the one who's paranoid!! You're the one who's dwelling in the past!! Why don't you grow up, Erek?! Let bygones be bygones!!!"

 

Strangler takes a sigh before continuing,

 

"But you wouldn't let it rest. You wanted a fight and now you got one! I'm not going to stand around and let you punk me around. I'm the fucking Strangler! A former World Champion!! And when you mess with the Strangler, you're risking your life.... or....... the life of loved ones. I'm sure that nobody has ever found this about you, but when you went around flirting with every girl you saw, you also had a loving fiancee back at Anaheim. Surprised? You're not the only one who can find out details about someone's past. I wonder what Emily is up to these days...."

 

Back in the ring, Erek snatches a mic away from a crew member and shouts out.

 

"Albert you fat bitch, you leave her out of this!"

 

"Erek, you're the one who wanted a fight. Well now you're going to get one. Accept the consequences of your actions because when you face the Strangler, nobody gets off the hook that easily!"

 

"Strangler, if you hurt her-"

 

"I don't need to hurt her. I'm sure somebody has already done the job for me."

 

"You son of a bitch, I'm going to kill you if she's hurt!! I'm going to kill and destroy anything and anyone you hold dear to your heart if you hurt her!!"

 

"Erek, you're all talk. It's a long flight back to Anaheim."

 

"Fuck you."

 

Strangler disappears from the screen.

 

Erek throws the mic at Tom and rolls out of the ring, quickly racing up the ramp as fast as he can. The cameramans in the back kick up their gear and follows Erek to the parking lot, where he hops on his Honda motorbike and speeds out of the arena.

 

"I'm speechless, Comet," Riley says. "Strangler and Erek and their rivalry, their hatred for each other. It's only growing."

 

"An awkward ending but I pray that no innocent person was hurt. What a dastardly act by Citizen Albert!"

 

"Well I guess that's it for tonight. From Seattle, this is Bobby Riley with Cyclone Comet, signing off."

 

 

 

This is certianly not the end.

[the.weej 0]

...but it IS the end of the show. RESULTS!

 

Not on your life. Read the frigging thing.

 

QUALITY!

 

8.0. A solidly above-average show, imo.

 

CARDAGE!

 

In an hour or two. Most of you who're waiting on it are in bed right now anyway, so it's not like I'm putting anyone off by taking my time...