Guest The Winter Of My Discontent Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 Wow, its a big news day here at TSM.
Guest Choken One Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 BREAKING NEWS! Chris Benoit took a shit at approx 9:43 P.M Thursday Evening. More details forthcoming...
Downhome Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 BREAKING NEWS! Chris Benoit took a shit at approx 9:43 P.M Thursday Evening. More details forthcoming... CORN AND NUTS, CORN AND NUTS!
Guest Waldo Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 Eating asparagus makes your pee smell like cigars.
NYU Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 *BREAKING NEWS* Internet fans said that Benoit's shit was the most technically sound one since the one by Ric Flair almost 15 years ago. They then proceeded to give Chris Benoit the title of "God of Shit" and demanded he go over at WrestleMania. More details forthcoming.....
Guest Choken One Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 Breaking NEWS Update! It Appears as if, shortly Mr. Benoit took his aforementioned SHIT, He wiped his asscrack in a VERTICAL manner and preceded to wipe not once but THREE times.
Guest Waldo Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 THIS JUST IN! The toilet paper was hung in an improper overhead fashion!
Downhome Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 THIS JUST IN~! Benoit's shit is up on eBay for all the smarks to buy. The bid is now up to $595,598,598,595.04!
Guest Choken One Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 THIS JUST IN! The toilet paper was hung in an improper overhead fashion! InAccurate. Benoit is too short to reach the Toilet Paper overhead.
NYU Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 *CONTINUED NEWS REPORT* :::BENOIT SHITS: 2003::: After Benoit took a shit, he attempted to wrestle it and internet wrestling fans called it one of the greatest matches of the year. But then Benoit applied the Figure-Four shitlock on the wrong turd and, according to one insider, "It then went down - A MILLION STARS!!!! He is slipping if he doesn't remember the straight turd is the HURT chunk!!" Benoit then wound up slipping on the shit during the match, but eventually won. Yet, the internet fans continued to say the shit should have gotten no offense during the match, since it doesn't compare to Benoit's pure godness, and that the shit just didn't sell enough. More updates to follow.
Slayer Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 THIS JUST IN Triple H sat in the stall next to Benoit and is currently trying to outshit him
NYU Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 Wait, wait....we just got a new update. BREAKING NEWS!!! After Triple H sat down in the stall next to Benoit, Internet Wrestling Columnist Chris Hyatte wrote an article entitled "The Shitting of HHH." Amazingly, the Internet Wrestling Community didn't find any of it funny and one was quoted as saying "Teasing Canadians isn't fun, ay." More updates at 11!!!
Slayer Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 SPECIAL REPORT BENOIT-TRIPLE H: STALL WARS "Triple H accuses Benoit of lacking main event caliber shits IWC claims Triple H doesn't shit as well as he did in '00 Film to follow"
Guest Waldo Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 EXTRA EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT! Benoit shits in silence while HHH rocks back and forth!
Guest Choken One Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 Benoit is reported to been reading Wall Street Journal...While HHH was reported to be reading Clifford the Big Red Dog.
Guest Waldo Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 An inside source says the atmosphere is, quote, "Silent But Violent".
Slayer Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 <standing outside bathroom, holding earpiece> I'm being told now that Big Show has just entered the third stall and that this, in fact, will be declared a Triangle Shit Folks this is looking to be a classic, call your friends, tell them to watch, and stay tuned for further developments
Guest Waldo Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 NEWSWIRE: FOX has just purchased the movie rights to this epic encounter. Big Show will be played by Kevin James, HHH by Kevin Costner and Chris Benoit by Vern Troyer.
NYU Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 *CLICK HERE FOR :::SHIT ATTACK: 2003::: AND PICS OF TRISHS AND STACYS BEAVERS* Apparently, in the Triangle Shit, Big Show took a huge, successful dump. JR was so impressed by this turd's size and hosserific skills that he demanded Vince McMahon sign him to a 10 year contract. Well, wrestlingnewzandupdatesandbeavers.com has had an exclusive interview with one WWE insider and according to him, "This shit will be the next MARK HENRY, BY GAWD ! THAT'S HOW GOOD HE IS ! POOPER SCOOPER!!"
Guest Waldo Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 ESPN Gamecast (refreshed every 30 seconds): :: Ric Flair has entered room :: Ric Flair ducks beneath stall Ric Flair just slipped Triple-H a laxative! Ric Flair takes leak Ric Flair says WHOO! Ric Flair says WHOO! Ric Flair says WHOO! :: Ric Flair has left room ::
Ravenbomb Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 *cough* http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?...ST&f=29&t=45784
Slayer Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 "Triangle Shit Match: Big Show v. Chris Benoit v. Triple H. Nervous looks all around as all three men gradually disrobe and take their seats on their respective toilets. Benoit and Triple H start off, feeling each other out with gradual grunts while Show sits back and relaxes, apparently to let the other two men wear each other out. Triple H starts by LIFTING THE KNEE and dropping a mild turd. Benoit counters with his opening Dragon Shit, seemingly to take the early lead. Suddenly out of nowhere Big Show unleashes the STINKY DIARRHEA OF MILD DISCOMFORT that overflows his toilet, and the ref steps in and mercifully ends the match at 2:24. The wrong man went over this time. *1/2 for the action, -*** for the finish"
NYU Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 "Triangle Shit Match: Big Show v. Chris Benoit v. Triple H. Nervous looks all around as all three men gradually disrobe and take their seats on their respective toilets. Benoit and Triple H start off, feeling each other out with gradual grunts while Show sits back and relaxes, apparently to let the other two men wear each other out. Triple H starts by LIFTING THE KNEE and dropping a mild turd. Benoit counters with his opening Dragon Shit, seemingly to take the early lead. Suddenly out of nowhere Big Show unleashes the STINKY DIARRHEA OF MILD DISCOMFORT that overflows his toilet, and the ref steps in and mercifully ends the match at 2:24. The wrong man went over this time. *1/2 for the action, -*** for the finish" I agreed with the rating. Misawa, Kiwada, and Kobashi had a much better triangle shit match in Japan. These American wrestlers know absolutely nothing about good workrate nowadays. They have no sense of shitology.
Guest Waldo Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 HHH: Why did I lose? It's all Rob Van Dam's fault. He ate my Raisin Bran. FIBER DEPRIVER!
Invictus Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 HHH: Why did I lose? It's all Rob Van Dam's fault. He ate my Raisin Bran. FIBER DEPRIVER! Vince: You're right, son. As of this moment, RVD will never have a good shit in this company ever again!
Slayer Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 I agreed with the rating. Misawa, Kiwada, and Kobashi had a much better triangle shit match in Japan. These American wrestlers know absolutely nothing about good workrate nowadays. They have no sense of shitology. The problem comes with Vince McMahon. He doesn't want the little men who can take surprisingly big shits to outshine his big men, who he naturally feels should be better shitters, so he enacted the "WWE Shitting Style" to make everyone shit the same way.
Guest Waldo Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 Big Show can't shit like he used to. I cringe every time I watch him take an unprotected dump.
NYU Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 I agreed with the rating. Misawa, Kiwada, and Kobashi had a much better triangle shit match in Japan. These American wrestlers know absolutely nothing about good workrate nowadays. They have no sense of shitology. The problem comes with Vince McMahon. He doesn't want the little men who can take surprisingly big shits to outshine his big men, who he naturally feels should be better shitters, so he enacted the "WWE Shitting Style" to make everyone shit the same way. Once again, good point. McMahon can't stand to push to someone who doesn't shit with the WWE style. First, he tries to send them to OVW to learn a wide array of dropshits and shitbusters. If that doesn't work, he just buries them and forces them to shit on Velocity. This is why I can't stand WWE. It's the same shit-dump-shit-dump brawling garbage every match, and I'm getting sick of it. This is why I started watching UFC now. UFC AND PRIDE BABY, WHERE THE FIGHTERS KNOW HOW TO SHIT HARD!!
Slayer Posted November 28, 2003 Report Posted November 28, 2003 It's too bad WCW is dead, their presence forced McMahon to come up with better shitting contests I hear the NWA's X-shit-division is a good alternative though. They make the wrestlers eat things like bowls of corn and cigarette-butts before a match.
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