Parental care gets out of hand

[Guest Black Tiger]

Okay, last night the company held their christmas party. Being under the legal drinking age for three more weeks, a friend had a couple of bottles in their car. We sneak out and get decently toasted (Absolute Vodka, and Apple Schnops)

 

I'm decently drunk (drunk enough to KNOW I'm drunk, but not drunk enough where it's obvious) and a few friends convince me to get on the dance floor.

 

I'm dancing between two lesbians and my mother sees this and FUCKING PULLS ME AWAY! Why? she says "I saw my son sandwiched between two lesbians and my motherly instincts kicked in".

 

I still haven't forgiven her yet.

[TSA09 0]

Your first problem is you work with your mother. How the hell can you do anything stupid with your mom watching? And why get drunk with your mom watching to begin with? That's like asking for it.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Why didn't you tell the lesbians to go work on her for a few minutes? Problem solved.

[Guest Black Tiger]

Your first problem is you work with your mother. How the hell can you do anything stupid with your mom watching? And why get drunk with your mom watching to begin with? That's like asking for it.

 

She didn't give a rat's ass about my drinking, hell she even got a beer for me at one point last night.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

I'd say call her out into the middle of the ring, sweet talk her, and then begin to chastize her before piledriving her. After that, run when the glass shatters and "316" comes up on your pager, because SHIT IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN.

[Guest BDC]

I'd say call her out into the middle of the ring, sweet talk her, and then begin to chastize her before piledriving her. After that, run when the glass shatters and "316" comes up on your pager, because SHIT IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN.

lol, beautiful

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Thank you, thank you. I've been making references like that all day.

 

Yeah, they suck, but it could be worse.

 

I could bring back "TOSS MY SALAD, HO~!"

[Steviekick 0]

Why didn't you tell the lesbians to go work on her for a few minutes? Problem solved.

That was sinisterly evil and disgusting and beautiful at the same time.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

No, you should just say "awwwwwww, shucks mom." and then kick at the ground and get a sour puss look on your face.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

No. Dammit, don't listen to Agent! Listen to me! I'm you're friend, God Dammit! PUTH ER THROUGH A TABLE! PUT HER THROUGH A FUCKIN' TABLE! I want you to reach down, punch into her chest, and when you hold her heart high above your head, a combination of your blood and sweat as well as hers covering your body, only then will you get a title shot!

 

And why? Why must I make you do this? I'll tell you.

BECAUSE I'M COREY Mc-FUCKING-LAZARUS, DAMMIT! YOU'RRRRRRREE FIIRRRRRRED!!!!

[OldSchoolWrestling 0]

Parents understand drinking. Parents don't understand lesbianism. I don't even think lesbians were invented until about 1977.

[Guest BDC]

No. Dammit, don't listen to Agent! Listen to me! I'm you're friend, God Dammit! PUTH ER THROUGH A TABLE! PUT HER THROUGH A FUCKIN' TABLE! I want you to reach down, punch into her chest, and when you hold her heart high above your head, a combination of your blood and sweat as well as hers covering your body, only then will you get a title shot!

 

And why? Why must I make you do this? I'll tell you.

BECAUSE I'M COREY Mc-FUCKING-LAZARUS, DAMMIT! YOU'RRRRRRREE FIIRRRRRRED!!!!

Sorry, but at times like this, I miss Sandman.

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

I'm dancing between two lesbians and my mother sees this and FUCKING PULLS ME AWAY! Why? she says "I saw my son sandwiched between two lesbians and my motherly instincts kicked in".

 

 

Parents just don't understand!

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

^Give that man the ten thousand dollars.

 

And yes, if Sandman were still here (where the fuck is that ultraviolent cuntbox, anyways?), I'd have about seven lighttubes busted over my head by now.