EdwardKnoxII Posted December 10, 2003 Report Posted December 10, 2003 When a lawyer tells you... - "I have to open a new folder for your case.", it means "You better open your bank account." - "We take seriously care of your case.", it means "Ern... we're looking for it." - "You can sleep quietly.", it means "Because it is exactly what I'm doing." - "Don't attention to this, it's only legal jargon.", it means "You're a fool." - "The trial will be very, very long." , it means "I'll be able to pay my Mercedes." - "What is important is to be loyal, honest and to tell the truth.", it means "Unless you want to do my job." - "When you look at the jury, smile!" it means, "You will feel less alone when they will laugh at you." - "Don't get discouraged!", it means "It looks bad." - "Everything is fine.", it means "It looks very, very bad." - "Can you pay me now?", it means "You're dead or you're done." - "Don't say anything, let me do it.", it means "I know to lie like a pro." - "We will have to review our strategy.", it means "Damn! I screw up!" - "We will take amicable arrangements.", it means "The other lawyer is too much better than me."
The Czech Republic Posted December 14, 2003 Report Posted December 14, 2003 - "Review your strategies before acting upon them", means "Post chain-letter-esque, unfunny lawyer jokes and I will make you fucking pay"
Dr. Tom Posted December 14, 2003 Report Posted December 14, 2003 What do you do if you're locked in a cage with two hungry tigers and a lawyer, and you have only 2 bullets in your gun? Shoot the lawyer twice.
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