Kerry obsession

[Highland 0]

Words escape me.

 

 

"I liked Kerry when he put on his hockey player suit," Alice Krakauer said at lunch yesterday. She is the famed political campaign worker. Over all the years in political campaigns, she has worked for candidates on the grounds of sexual attraction only.

 

"Kerry is pure male. I like the way he moved in his hockey player suit. All of a sudden he wasn't in his orator mode. You're eating before me. He was an athlete. His moves were less rehearsed. He could get me going. I want you to be literal. If I'm going to talk with an edge, don't you run over the cliff with what I say. I like the way Kerry touches his wife. She is juice and poetry. If she likes him, he must have personality that we don't know about."

 

She thought for a moment. "Kerry can afford to smile. He's got enough masculinity." She sees Kerry as a warrior who takes on the terrorists and the war. This was Kerry's major asset, she said, a warrior radiating sex as he stands guard over his country.

 

The opponent, Bush, "looks good in jeans. He's hot. But, like I'll tell you every time, then he opens his mouth."

 

We were at the Second Avenue Delicatessen, on 10th Street. All morning, a succession of white-bread announcers and political experts, in the warmth and safety of morning show studios, had been saying that the war in Iraq was not the most important political issue with America. They all said there were so many domestic issues that will determine the next president.

 

"There is nothing more obscene than a young man coming home in a box," she was saying. "One a day is being killed. How do you have a political conversation about anything but his death?"

 

I saw her first on a night in Indianapolis long ago when she was a chief worker for presidential candidate Eugene McCarthy and she walked up to the table where Bobby Kennedy was, with among others, Jack Newfield, then of the Village Voice. She reached past Kennedy and jabbed a finger at Newfield. "You're a traitor. You don't represent the Village."

 

After one campaign, she took 50 people to the island of Jamaica. She is 58 now. She will be 59 any day now, and she feels that is a political tragedy unlike any she has seen. Still, put her out in any state for her candidate and she puts a large E for excitement into the thing. When I go, I'll flack for the candidate, I'll go door to door, I'll sit on the phone. But I will not go on only three hours' sleep. I did that once and it was crazy. I was young. It would be deadly today. I'll be in a campaign. But I'll almost be a normal person."

 

In politics now, which is so dull that it hurts, candidates consider themselves exciting because of proficiency with the budget.

 

Alice Krakauer wants to know the sexual feeling she gets from candidates. She met Bill Clinton at a funeral. Already she had been having sexual fantasies about Clinton at night. Now she was sure they were right to have. He was the foremost sexually attractive candidate of her life. "I said, 'Be still my heart.' He had long enticing fingers. And he was surrounded with people but he looked at me as if I was the only one there. There is nobody like him, ever."

 

"And you almost went with Dean," I said.

 

"No, I told you about Dean," she said. "I thought about him. But that's all. Then I went to see him on 23rd Street. I thought I was ready to go to Iowa and run the roads for him. Then I looked at him in person. No. He lost his sexual attraction for me as a candidate."

 

"Could Edwards cause trouble on Saturday for Kerry?"

 

"Edwards has a small head, doesn't he? He's not up there like a warrior, like Kerry. I don't want Edwards to sit in tanks like Dukakis did that time. But he should show his inner male. Assuming he doesn't throw like a girl."

 

If Kerry wins in Michigan, that should do it, she was told. "Yes, but I can't be in his headquarters Sunday. I have to plan before I leave my parrot alone. We've been together 30 years. You haven't spoken to Harold? That's his name. I walk in the house and he says my name. He's good at names. I'll go home later and teach him to say 'Kerry.'"

 

Copyright © 2004, Newsday, Inc.

[Guest JumpinJackFlash]

I thought it was hilarious the wasy he said,"I love New Hampshire." And everyone made a big deal about Dean's screeching.

[Art Sandusky 0]

At least women have this semi-luxury. Just about any woman politician the age of the presidential candidates are pretty hard-up to make you hard.

[Firestarter 0]

Governor Granholm is pretty damn hot.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I'd pork Hillary..

[Lando Griffin 0]

I would, too. Just to say I did it.

[Guest Ghettoman]

Would you fuck a golden donkey just to say you did that too?

 

I never understood that whole idea of banging someone just so you can say you did. Sticking your penis in Hilary Clinton doesn't seem like any kind of accomplishment.

[Guest hunger4unger]

Now Monkey Man's daughters....i'd go there.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Governor Granholm is pretty damn hot.

 

Not bad at all (especially considering what else is out there), but I'd still take Laura's Bush over hers any day...