Bill Plaschke: Professional Dimbulb

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

The Dodgers have a new face, and it is dabbed in Clearasil.

 

The Dodgers have a new voice, and it speaks in megabytes.

 

Step #1.. establish common ground. By trying to make your new GM sound like a teenage boy.

 

Meet General Manager.Com, otherwise known as Paul DePodesta, a 31-year-old computer nerd who was hired Monday to rid the Dodgers of their, um, virus.

 

The virus being that they're in the second biggest market, yet.. they can't win.

 

"I'll admit, there's some boldness to this," said owner Frank McCourt. "But that's exactly what we need to do to change things around here."

 

Change it they have, from Branch Rickey to Little Rickey, from Buzzie Bavasi to Bill Gates, from wise old men who trusted effort to a kid who relies on … equations?

 

You ever heard of Branch Rickey and Allan Roth.. is 'Baseball writer' your first job Bill?

 

For the last four seasons, DePodesta has essentially been the webmaster for that funky site known as the Oakland Athletics.

 

Billy Beane was the general manager, DePodesta was the statistics cruncher, and together they built a team that overachieved during the season but crumbled in the playoffs, spreadsheets being unable to judge heart.

 

And yet.. the Dodgers have not been in the playoffs for EIGHT YEARS. It appears that 'just scouting' and signing some guys can't do shit either Bill.

 

At the very least, the A's have been in the playoffs for four straight years. Which is something the Dodgers can't claim.

 

It appears what the Dodgers have couldn't get them to the show.

 

That DePodesta would be ready for a challenge such as the Dodgers is the wacky stuff of chat rooms and message boards, which, not coincidentally, is where McCourt received his final approval.

 

He said Gavin, his 13-year-old son, was browsing through a sports board when he saw eight pages of discussions about DePodesta that included one poster's comparing his potential hire to that of the New York Yankees' acquisition of Alex Rodriguez.

 

"I found this to be a clear choice, if not an easy one," McCourt said.

 

Given the abundance of certain names on the Internet these days, I guess the Dodgers should be fortunate their new general manager isn't Paris Hilton.

 

Or Bill Plaschke.

 

Seriously, McCourt seems sincere about changing the Dodger culture, and DePodesta, a Harvard graduate who seems sufficiently earnest and humble, might fit that mode.

 

But, c'mon.

 

I've eaten Dodger Dogs that were older than this kid.

 

Yeah.. i'm sure youth stopped Theo Epstein from.. oh yeah..

 

He watched the last Dodger playoff victories from boarding school.

 

Doesn't say much about your team, does it?

 

And, like McCourt, he had never been to Dodger Stadium.

 

Since a tour of Chavez Ravine is such a big factor of the job.

 

DePodesta is a nice kid and all, but isn't it a bit disconcerting when the new baseball boss of the Dodgers meets Tom Lasorda for the first time on the morning he is hired?

 

It would seem you could count the number of baseball people who have never met Lasorda on one glove, and you would wonder where they were hiding.

 

Uh huh.. so?

 

But they will screech if the kid is instead hired to be baseball's Doogie Howser, surgically removing payroll until the Dodgers become a middle-market team with middle-market aspirations.

 

Fuck off..

 

Can't you handle.. maybe.. a few years of a smaller payroll.. since you'd be able to bare the brunt of keeping the young talent?

 

The Dodger Organization could use a good dissection, it's not like it's really standing out as being great.

 

"It is a proven fact that payroll amount does not correlate to success on the field," said McCourt, for the umpteenth time.

 

Ask the Marlins and Angels.

 

But, for the umpteenth time, it does correlate if you have a thin top layer of minor leaguers, as the Dodgers do.

 

and whatever minor leaguers you have or draft will be able to stay in LA for the future.

 

Current lineup minus new bat equals bow wow.

 

The Dodgers aren't going anywhere Bill. Don't worry about trying to get a new bat. Maybe there's a reason why people can't hit in Dodger Stadium. Oh.. park factors.. too advanced for you.

 

When asked Monday whether he thought the Dodgers indeed needed a power hitter, DePodesta gave one of those replies that makes you want to pull out your chaw and scream.

 

"We have a definite need to score more runs than the other guys," he said.

 

And you can score more runs without definate power hitters.

 

If you get on base often, you will score more often.

 

We'll no doubt see this answer pop up again in the Saturday letters section accompanied by far more wittier commentary than mine but, suffice to say, Dodger fans deserve something a tad more meaty. And quick.

 

"NOW NOW NOW WE WANT TO WIN NOW"

 

Shut the fuck up.. is that how you Dodger fans handle stuff? by waving around a sense of 'entitlement'? Patience..

 

The theme with DePodesta is about a brave new Dodger world, or at least a brand-new floppy disk.

 

The world of stats and big money could be quite scary. Unless you're a Dodger fan who is into winning.

 

The book told how DePodesta judged players by certain statistics, especially on-base percentage, then put those stats into a computer that spit out the names of guys he wanted.

 

Without a Panama hat or stopwatch in sight.

 

Oh no.. the stopwatch people will be put out of business?

 

Can we ask who goes out with the stopwatch to scout MAJOR LEAGUERS? Anybody?

 

The method, which cost scouts jobs and lowered the A's payroll, resulted in a .606 winning percentage during that time, tied for the best in baseball.

 

But lacking Kirk Gibson-type leadership — Gibson's unconventional numbers probably wouldn't have fit the A's system — they went 0-7 in potential playoff-clinching games.

 

and lord knows.. you NEED a guy to limp out and hit a lucky home run off Dennis Eckersley!

 

In the end, DePodesta's style didn't win any more playoff series than Kevin Malone's style or Dan Evans' style.

 

You'll jump on the bandwagon soon enough..

[Guest FrigidSoul]

Somebody might want to tell Plaschke that the Dodgers have the two best pitching prospect in baseball, one of which will make his full presense known this year. I speak of Edwin Jackson who is being talked about as having Pedro Martinez like stuff.

 

I hate P-p-p-plaschke

[the pinjockey 0]

"But they will screech if the kid is instead hired to be baseball's Doogie Howser, surgically removing payroll until the Dodgers become a middle-market team with middle-market aspirations."

 

First of all, who said that he will automatically want to run it like a middle market team. Do you think if Billy Beane had 100 mil to play with he would sign lesser people? No, he would go after the superstars who have the different traits they look for.

 

Second of all, how dare he make an attempt to trim the LA payroll. He better not go near the contracts of overpriced players such as Green, Dreifort, Ashby, Hundley, Shuey, Beltre and Encarnacion. We want to spend money stupidly. That is only 50 mil being spent on those players. The nerd probably would just cut the payroll and sit on that money.

 

1. Shawn Green 15,666,667

2. Darren Dreifort 12,400,000

3. Andy Ashby 8,500,000

4. Hideo Nomo 7,750,000

5. Todd Hundley 6,500,000

6. Robin Ventura 5,000,000

7. Jeff Weaver 4,150,000

8. Paul Shuey 3,916,667

9. Adrian Beltre 3,700,000

10. Juan Encarnacion 3,450,000

11. Odalis Perez 3,400,000

12. Paul Lo Duca 2,636,667

13. Bubba Trammell 2,500,000

14. Jeremy Giambi 2,000,000

15. Alex Cora 1,150,000

16. Jose Hernandez 1,000,000

17. Tanyon Sturtze 1,000,000

18. Guillermo Mota 675,000

19. Rick White 600,000

20. Eric Gagne 550,000

21. Jolbert Cabrera 435,000

22. Dave Roberts 400,000

23. Cesar Izturis 335,000

24. Mike Kinkade 320,000

25. Jason Romano 302,500

26. Shane Victorino 300,000

27. Derek Thompson 300,000

28. Steve Colyer 300,000

[Guest FrigidSoul]

Encarnacion is not overpaid

 

Also those aren't updated contract numbers because I know for a fact Beltre makes $5mill now(which is overpaid) and Gagne is gonna make more than that 550k

[the pinjockey 0]

It is ESPN's list so they might have what they made last year. I am surprised they have Trammel and Giambi on there if that is the case though.

[HarleyQuinn 0]

2004 Salaries(Credit DugoutDollars: http://dugoutdollars.blogspot.com/)

Shawn Green: $16 Million

Darren Dreifort: $11 Million

Todd Hundley: $6.50 Million

Paul Shuey: $3.80 Million

Adrian Beltre: $5 Million

Juan Encarnacion: $3.65 Million

Total b/w those 6: $45.95 Million

 

Hideo Nomo will be making $8.00 Million and Odalis Perez will be making $5 Million as well. Jeff Weaver's primed for $6.25 Million too.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

if Dreifort can remain healthy the whole season he'll be worth that $11mill. When on he's a strike-out machine.

 

Shawn Green better hit like he did in 02 if he doesn't want Dodgers fans lynching him.

[Bored 0]

I love how he says the A's always overachieve. How do you overachieve for four straight years? You win 396 games in four seasons you have to be doing something right.

 

I can't wait for Plaschke to jump all over DePodesta when the Dodgers hover around .500 this year even though DePodesta was hired right before Spring Training and had nothing to do with their lackluster offseason. You know its going to happen.

[Guest OctoberBlood]

Plaschke is a TOTAL moron. He's proved that over and over.

[HarleyQuinn 0]

Revised the numbers since I was looking at the cap hits instead of the salary

[Guest Smues]

I hate the Dodgers, but I hate Bill Plaschke more. Nothing the guy says should be given any attention.

[the pinjockey 0]

In regards to Driefort, there is no evidence he can stay healthy for half a season. So to have that kind of money tied up in him is overpaying no matter the circumstances.

 

Also, he has a habit of walking people, in his last healthy season (2000) he was very homer prone (which in LA is wrong) and he hit a good amount of people (12) and threw wild pitches (17).

 

And save for one great year as a reliever, his top ERA+ is 104 with a career ERA+ of 95.

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

One thing that bugged me in the article that hasn't been mentioned yet, is Platschke saying stat guys can't measure who has heart and who doesn't and that's roughly why the A's haven't won a playoff series. That's nonsense. If guys with "heart," or clutch hitting, or whatever are so good in the crunch, why don't they hit like that all the time? Are they loafing the rest of the season?

 

Besides, its not like the old system was working anyway.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

How that man manages to get high scores on Around the Horn is beyond me...

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

Because part of his competition is Jay Mariotti.

[the pinjockey 0]

My problem with the heart comment is the fact that scouts of old didn't look for heart either. They looked for a swing, tools, and a body. I doubt many scouts went to high school games looking for the heart a player put into the game. So if you want to bring up heart, it is retarded to assume it was measured before.

 

And what type of "unconventional" numbers did Gibson have? What the hell is an "unconventional" number?

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

Unconventional = # of game winning HRs hit while on a gimpy leg

[Star Ocean 3 0]

Read T.J. Simers.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Read T.J. Simers.

Wasn't he the guy that said Around The Horn sucked? I don't like him

[Lando Griffin 0]

*does the Plaschke Salute*

*gives Plaschke the One Finger Salute*

 

Gagne making half of what Tanyon Sturtze makes? Crazy.

[Gert T 0]

I hate the Dodgers, but I hate Bill Plaschke more. Nothing the guy says should be given any attention.

Amen. And I doubt he'll jump the bandwagon, because he's close enough to leech off of any success the Angels have.

 

I mean seriously Bill give GM's at least a three year window. It's not like they sign the checks, GM's take orders too.