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MarvinisaLunatic

Im glad I don't live in Lexington Nebraska

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LEXINGTON, Neb. - Beware of going whiskerless in Lexington these days.

 

Lexington Mayor John Fagot has implemented a "ban" on shaving for every man in town older than 21. Those caught clean-shaven without a shaving permit could face being dunked in a horse tank or other benign punishment.

 

The mayor implemented the lighthearted ban to get the town in the spirit of this summer's Plum Creek Days, a festival bearing the town's former name. One of the festival's traditional highlights is a beard-growing contest.

 

The not-so-consequential edict is in effect until July 5, the last day of the three-day festival.

 

The ban is part of a Lexington-area tradition that began in 1939 with the first Plum Creek Days festival. Those wanting to shave can avoid being arrested and taken to Kangaroo Court by purchasing a special shaving permit.

 

Along with the shaving ban, the mayor has proclaimed all men and women must dress in Western or historic clothing on Fridays beginning in May.

 

Kangaroo Court will be held every Friday beginning June 4 and will included "trumped-up charges and fun sentencing," Fagot said.

 

Thats pretty stupid. Id have to get a shaving permit even though I haven't shaved in over a year. I know its all in fun, but still thats stupid. Plus, I feel bad for the mayor and his unfortunate last name.

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My geography isn't very sharp. Is Lexington, Nebraska one of those little, tight knit communities?

 

I can imagine my response to being arrested for being clean shaven. "Stupid rule. The mayor's a Fagot!" You know he must get that alot, the poor guy.

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I went to high school with a guy named 'Feig' (pronounced 'Fag'). I didn't feel too sorry for him, though. The guy was a douchebag.

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So, when exactly did the mayor go insane?

 

And if I'm just driving through and I'm clean shaven on a Friday, does that mean I could get a ticket?

 

I demand to know more!

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I think Id rather live in Kansas, the state that is flatter than a Pancake.

Wrong

 

The eastern part of the state is fairly hilly actually (see: Flint Hills). I'll grant that the western portion is flat and boring though (that's where most of the farming goes down)

 

Now if you want a state that's all around flat'n'boring no matter which way you cut it, check out Iowa

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So, when exactly did the mayor go insane?

 

And if I'm just driving through and I'm clean shaven on a Friday, does that mean I could get a ticket?

 

I demand to know more!

No, theyd ask you to come back and accept your punishment in July by getting dunked in a horse tank.

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