Then History of Benoit

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

From Wrestle Crap

 

 

He's been known by many names over the years. The Rabid Wolverine. The Canadian Crippler. Captain Sunshine. But through it all, there are few wrestlers in the world who can compare to Chris Benoit.

 

Christopher Robin Benoit was born on May 21, 1967 in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. At an early age, his father took him to his first ever wrestling match, and on the card was none other than a sensational grappler by the name of Tom Billingsley, known to the world at large as the Dynamite Kid. Benoit was stunned by the athleticism that Billingsley dislayed, and swore to his father that one day he would be just as good as Dynamite. His father patter his son on the head, and said, "Sure you will, Chris. Sure you will."

 

Little did his father know that he would not only be as good as the kid, but even better.

 

At the tender age of 17, Benoit ventured to Calgary to train in Stu Hart's infamous Dungeon. It was there that he learned the finer arts of his craft, impressing the elder Hart to state, "He's the best student I've ever had."

 

Benoit travelled the world in search of competition. He wound up in New Japan, and became known as the Unicorn Kid, donning a mask with a giant horn atop his head. His finishing move was the flying headbut, in which he would leap from the turnbuckles, and ram the horn into his opponent's skull. He still uses it on occasion to this day. He eventually became one of Japan's top stars, but unfortunately a severe bladder infection caused him to return home. By the time it healed, New Japan was in severe financial turmoil, leaving the Unicorn without employment.

 

But things were happening in the states. Paul Heyman had just started a hardcore promotion called ECW, and he felt that Benoit would fit in perfectly. Benoit then made the jump and took the promotion by storm with his hard-nosed style. He fought many of the company's best, including Hak Meyers, Eddy Guerrero, Taz, and Salvatore Bellomo. Unfortunately, he left the promotion in shame, losing his ECW TV title to Iceman King Parsons in a lights out match, in which Parsons hit him upside the head with a sack of silver dollars.

 

Better days were ahead for Benoit, this time in WCW. Upon his arrival, he immediately captured the WCW TV title from Alex Wright on an early episode of Nitro. He completely annihilated the young German, knocking him out legit with the rolling Germans. To rub salt in Alex's wounds, Benoit did the wacky "Wunderkind" dance atop Wright's prone, lifeless body. Tony Schiavone proclaimed it to be "the greatest Nitro in the history of our sport." Few could disagree.

 

 

 

Though Benoit was proving himself in the ring, the backstage manipulations of men such as Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash prevented him from moving up the card. Instead, Benoit was given a role in the Four Horsemen. Arn Anderson himself claimed that he personally picked Benoit, and that he was, and I quote, "just as good - if not better - than Paul Roma." Those in attendance then gave him a standing ovation. Tony Schiavone proclaimed it to be "the greatest Nitro in the history of our sport."

 

Sadly, the politics got to the point that Benoit was losing far more often than he was winning. He eventually lost the TV title to Booker T, and was given little to do except float around the midcard in a never ending feud with "Pistol" Pez Whatley. He was eventually given a love interest in the form of Judy Bagwell, but by that point you could tell that Benoit was just cashing his checks. By the time the company finally gave him his long overdue push, a World Title win over "Number One" Paul Jones (during a show called by Tony Schiavone as "the greatest Nitro in the history of our sport") it seemed that Benoit had enough of the wrestling business.

 

But Vince McMahon wouldn't hear of it, and offered Benoit a contract, rumored to be at around the $25K a year range. Benoit jumped at the offer. Immediately upon signing, he was placed into a feud with King Kong Bundy. Despite being outweighed by 323 pounds, Benoit held his own. Since he couldn't realistically hit the rolling Germans on the behemoth Bundy, he came up with a new finishing maneuver: the Asian Spike. Utilizing this debilitating maneuver, he clearly bested Bundy and was ready to move onto bigger and better things.

 

Eventually, the politics in WWE got just as bad as what they had been in WCW, and he was being held back once again, this time by Triple H. Benoit responded to his de-pushing by having great matches with every single guy they threw in front of him, even guys who had never even had a ** match in their entire lives. Kane? ****. Big Show? ****. He even carried the seemingly uncarriable Chris Jericho to a couple of decent matches.

 

Finally, it was too much for Vince to take, and he demanded that Benoit be given the title at Wrestlemania XX. Benoit made history by not only beating Shawn Michaels, but by making WWE Champion Al Wilson tap like a little bitch.

 

 

 

It was a long time coming for Benoit, but he had finally made it to the top. Lofting the belt on high, he gave a tearful speech to his fans. (NOTE: Link to the Big Bossman's crazy "referee" promo goes HERE)

 

I couldn't have put it better myself.

[Kapoutman 0]

Wrestlecrap was on fire this week on the comedy side. The JOTW section was funny too.

[Guest Choken One]

ROBIN?

 

That's it. He's not my #1 WORKER NOW.

[cawthon777 0]

Christopher Robin Benoit

Benoit is heavyweight champion of the Hundred Acre Wood?

[Guest Choken One]

I thought he was PEGASUS KID.

[DangerousDamon 0]

I thought he was PEGASUS KID.

I hope you weren't being serious.

[JoeDirt 0]

I hope people can detect sarcasm, especially from Wrestlecrap...

[Repo Man jr 0]

The Eduardo Guadolupe Phillipe Juan Valdez Guerrero bio is very good. I learned a lot of new stuff, very interesting read.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

To rub salt in Alex's wounds, Benoit did the wacky "Wunderkind" dance atop Wright's prone, lifeless body.

I would pay money to see that.

[Kapoutman 0]

I always loved the Spaghetti and meatballs kid.