Storm losing matches.

April 10, 2004

Have at it, fuckers.

K.

The two combatants circle each other slowly. The crowd roars. The chants are deafening.

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

“I am quite honestly shocked, citizens! I don’t believe anyone backstage had a clue that citizen Nathaniel was on the mend. This is a tremendous surprise!”

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

”No, this is interesting. We’re interested. Clark is surprised.”

Kibagami is calm, composed, and confident – he waits patiently for his opponent to make the first move. Clark seems rattled, but defiant – he’s beaten this man before, and he seems to be trying to convince himself that he can do it again.

“This has all the makings of a classic speed versus power matchup, Comet. Clark is the Cruiserweight champion, and he’ll likely stay a step ahead of Kibagami. Half-crippled or not, though, all Kibagami will need is one sharp kick or two to turn the tide.”

“Let’s not forget the experience difference either, Bobby. Citizen Kibagami has spent thirteen years in this business, and he’s probably got a good idea how to catch citizen Clark unawares. The Walt Disney wunderkid will have to keep his wits about him – a difficult task indeed when Kibagami’s aiming his boots at your head.”

The Cruiserweight champion throws a tentative snap kick in the direction of Kibagami’s ribs, testing the waters to see what kind of reaction time the other man has – and he barely jumps back in time to escape a roundhouse from the River Dragon! Thinking quickly, the musician leaps into the air and plants both feet on the side of the Slaughterer’s head with a dropkick, sending the larger man crashing to the mat. Clark spins to his feet and quickly grabs hold of the veteran’s arms, looking for the double-underhook Chartbreaker that helped him do so much damage to Kibagami in August...

“RAAAAHHHHH!”

Kibagami powers out and stands up, keeping Clark’s arms pinned, and sits out, looking to end things early with a makeshift variation on the Mexican Stretch Bomb. The murmur of the crowd rises in anticipation of such a dangerous maneuver, but the murmurs turn to applause as Clark frees himself and manages to turn around at the apex of the move, landing on his feet behind the River Dragon – and following it up by landing another dropkick on Kibagami’s skull!

The River Dragon rolls onto his stomach as he clutches at his head, and the Cruiserweight champion quickly follows up with a senton splash to Kibagami’s exposed back. Clark rolls him over and hooks the leg –

ONE!

T – Kibagami kicks out and hastily gets to his feet. Clark stops short of another dropkick, and the two men circle each other again, neither one acknowledging the applause from the crowd. After collecting himself for a brief moment, Kibagami lunges forward into a collar-and-elbow tie-up and easily outmaneuvers Clark, grabbing a tight headlock and whipping the smaller man over his shoulder and onto the mat. The musician immediately tries to gain a vertical base to help reduce the pressure and break the hold, but the Slaughterer fights just as hard to keep him grounded.

“Nathan’s trying to make up for seven months of ring rust by resorting to moves the greenest of rookies have mastered,” drones a bored Riley, as Clark slowly makes it to his feet and begins driving elbows into Kibagami’s side, trying desperately to free himself.

“And it’s a perfectly sound strategy, Bobby. Citizen Nathaniel has already determined that he can’t keep up with Clark, so he’s doing his best to slow the match down to suit his own style better. A classic speed versus power matchup, as you said yourself.”

“Look, I’m the play-by-play guy. You’re the excitable spandex monkey. You do your job. I’ll do mine.”

A third hard elbow finally jars Kibagami enough to allow Clark to escape, and he shoves Nathaniel towards the ropes – only to be floored by a hard shoulder tackle as the Silent One comes barreling back at him. The Silent One leaps over his prone opponent and sprints towards the ropes – Clark scrambles to his feet and leapfrogs over Kibagami, just barely clearing the 6’5” hurdle. Clark anticipates his opponent’s return trip and leaps in the air for another dropkick, but Kibagami sees it coming and stops short of the Cruiserweight champion, and the musician comes crashing down to the mat. With one fluid motion, the River Dragon dives towards his fallen opponent and latches on with a front facelock, wrenching Clark’s neck upwards and pulling him far enough from the mat that most of his body weight is being supported by his neck.

“Kibagami goes right back to the head, trying to disorient Clark and keep him grounded. Tom Flesher took this approach to the Cruiserweight champion two weeks ago on Storm and walked away victorious – Kibagami seems to have taken some good notes on that match.”

The Silent One cranks the hold, grinding his interlocked hands across Clark’s face as he does so.

“Whatever ring rust he might have seems to be offset by his quick thinking, Bobby – citizen Nathaniel knows exactly how to ground the flighty Clark. It’s just a matter of being able to execute...”

Apparently satisfied with his handiwork, Kibagami loosens his hold on Clark’s head and pulls the smaller man up to his feet. The Slaughterer fires off a hard chop –

SLAP! (WHOO!)

– and Alan Clark quickly fires back!

SLAP! (WHOO!)

”Why do they always do that, Bobby?”

SLAP! (WHOO!)

“What do you mean?”

SLAP! (WHOO!)

“That chant. The ‘whoo’ thing.”

“I’m not sure. I’ve never been able to figure it out, myself.”

SLAP! (WHOO!)

Clark aims another knife-edged chop at Kibagami’s chest, but the River Dragon catches the champion’s arm and whips him over his shoulder with a lightning-quick ippon seionage! Kibagami wisely keeps his grip on Clark’s arm and swings his legs around into position for a cross armbreaker, looking once again to take the match home early – the crowd roars as they recognize the deadly hold – but the former Disney spokesman is too close to the ropes; his left foot finds the bottom rope almost as quickly as Kibagami cinches in the hold.

“A vintage Silent technique, and a serious tactical error on Kibagami’s part, and now Alan Clark will regain his vertical base. It looks to me like Tom Flesher’s game plan only works for Tom Flesher. Kibagami might be better suited to use his mat work as an opening for something bigger – if he’s not so broken down that he doesn’t have anything bigger to hit.”

Kibagami rolls away from his prone opponent and rises to his feet, silently cursing himself for not paying more attention. Clark pulls himself up, flexing his arm slightly, as if reassuring himself that yes, it is still attached.

“Citizen Clark knows how close he came to defeat just now, Bobby. The Cruiserweight champion has a speed and agility that’s nearly heroic – he’s given Kibagami a taste of it already, and he looks like he’s about to step things up a notch!”

The Silent One moves forward, intent on another collar-and-elbow tie-up –

CRACK!

– only to be met by a sharp snap kick to the ribs! Kibagami is stunned as Clark steps in and delivers an inverted atomic drop, then clotheslines his opponent over the top rope, sending the Slaughterer crashing to the mats outside! Kibagami lands on his feet and shakes his head sharply, trying to clear the cobwebs and maintain his focus. The crowd’s interest begins to rise as Clark eyes his target on the outside of the ring and makes a beeline for the ropes on the other side –

“Here we go, Bobby! Clark is going to fly!”

A cartwheel, a backflip, and a somersault – it’s difficult to follow such a fluid series of motions, but the crowd loves it just as much every time. Especially when Clark manages to come crashing down with both legs on top of his unfortunate opponent!

”Clark hits the Pitch Drop, and Kibagami is suddenly at a disadvantage!” remarks Bobby, and it would seem that Riley is right. Clark is already regaining his feet while Kibagami lies prone on the floor, still trying to figure out what it was that hit him, and which direction, exactly, it came from. “These are the sorts of risks Clark is going to have to take to snatch the momentum from the stronger and more experienced Kibagami – if he can string enough big moves together, he might have enough to put the Slaughterer down for the three-count!”

Not wanting to waste any time, or give his opponent a chance to recuperate, Clark pulls the dazed Kibagami up to his feet and rolls him back into the ring. The musician climbs up onto the apron, measures his opponent once again, and flings himself over the top rope and into the ring with a gorgeous slingshot senton onto Nathaniel’s back. The Cruiserweight champion rolls smoothly to his feet and, without bothering to look at where the Silent One is, does a backflip, landing a standing moonsault on his prone opponent! The crowd applauds Clark’s considerable agility as he hooks Kibagami’s leg for the cover –

ONE!

TWO!

Soapdish notices Kibagami’s foot on the rope and stops the count, pointing out to Clark his error in judgment. The crowd’s reaction to this is notably mixed – some of the Detroit fans seem to think Kibagami is taking the easy way out unnecessarily.

“A mixed reaction from the fans at ringside shows they’re thinking the same thing I am – if Nathaniel doesn’t have the energy to kick out this early in the match, maybe he should’ve just stayed home.”

“Now, Bobby, let’s be fair. He could’ve been conserving energy – a wise decision if that’s the case – or he could simply be miffed over Clark’s earlier rope break and is taking the opportunity to return the favor.”

”...Comet, men with that many tattoos do not get ‘miffed’. Wrestlers in general should not be ‘miffed’.”

“You’re miffed now.”

”I’m retired. It’s different.”

Kibagami spins to his feet – and he’s met with a series of fast jabs from the Cruiserweight champion, who is unwilling to give any quarter to the Silent One! Clark grabs a double underhook and pulls Kibagami into the center of the ring before lifting him up and slamming him down across his knee with a vicious Chartbreaker!

ONE!

TWO!

Kibagami kicks out again, putting one hand to his aching back as soon as Clark is off of him.

“Clark’s looking for an opening to work on the Slaughterer’s back – he beat Kibagami by submission back in August the same way, and it’s only logical for him to try and do so again.”

The Cruiserweight champion attacks his opponent with renewed vigor, stomping away at the small of the River Dragon’s back. Alan Clark was forced into this match with no chance to prepare for his opponent, but fortunately for him, it’s an opponent he’s beaten before. If he can recreate some of his success in August, maybe he can pull out the victory.

Kibagami rolls into the ropes, looking for some respite, and Soapdish forces Clark away as Kibagami pulls himself up to his feet – but as soon as the referee is out of the way, the former Disney spokesman rushes in with a knee lift, catching the Silent One by surprise and doubling him over. Clark grabs a handful of Kibagami’s hair and leaps forward, driving the larger man into the mat face-first with a quick-and-dirty bulldog! The feisty cruiserweight scrambles to his feet, leaps over Kibagami onto the middle rope, and springboards backwards, landing across Kibagami’s back with a Lionsault!

”Clark is going right to work on Nathaniel’s back – a much better idea than attacking his legs, I think. If the Cruiserweight champion manages to bring his technical expertise and his natural agility to bear, I think the older, slower Kibagami is going to have a very hard time keeping up.”

Clark hastily turns Kibagami over onto his back and hooks a leg for the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

The Silent One gets a shoulder up, but Clark isn’t fazed – he pulls the veteran to his feet and whips him into the corner, then sprints towards Kibagami and leaps onto his knees for a monkey flip, but Kibagami sees it coming and grabs hold of Clark’s arms before he can lean backwards! The River Dragon flings Clark into the turnbuckle, measures him for a moment, and aims a high roundhouse at the musician’s head –

But he whiffs on the kick as Clark ducks underneath him and knocks Kibagami face-first into the turnbuckle with a well-placed dropkick! The Silent One staggers back, dazed, into an inverted front facelock – Clark lifts him up and spins around –

BAM!

”GREATEST HIT!”

ONE!

TWO!

THR – NO!

Kibagami rolls away, his back sore and his ears ringing, while Clark briefly argues the count with Nick Soapdish.

“A very close near-fall for citizen Clark – one has to wonder how much more punishment Kibagami’s back is able to take!”

“There’s really no telling, Comet. Kibagami’s been out of the ring long enough that there’s no way to say what he can or can’t do. However, I can say that ring rust seems to be affecting him the same way it affects everybody else, and if he doesn’t find a way to shake it off pretty soon, he’s going to lose this match.”

The Cruiserweight champion goes right back on the offensive, dropping elbow after elbow between his opponent’s shoulder blades before Soapdish forces him away...and Clark pushes his way right back towards Kibagami, stomping away at his lower back and forcing him to roll under the bottom rope and out of the ring!

“Alan Clark is certainly showing an aggressive streak tonight, Comet.”

”That he is, Bobby. Citizen Clark knows he has to stay on top of Kibagami in order to win this match, and that’s exactly what he’s done thus far. Whether or not he can capitalize on what advantage he has, however, remains to be seen.”

Clark grabs hold of the top rope, waiting impatiently for the Slaughterer to regain his feet, and as Kibagami stands up, Clark vaults over the top rope with one of the best-looking planchas this side of the border –

SPLAT!

– But Kibagami moves, and Clark wipes out with a sickening thud on the too-thin mats covering the concrete floor!

“Ouch! Citizen Clark is still a little short of true superhero status – lacking a cape, he clearly does not have the ability to fly.”

Riley just sighs and shakes his head. ”Sometimes I wonder exactly what it is they put in Pepsi MAX©.”

”Nothing but good taste and fun for the whole family, Bobby. You should buy a case or three.”

The Silent One pauses for a moment to catch his breath – Clark clearly isn’t going to beat him back into the ring. Taking a second to compose himself, Kibagami lifts the musician up from the ground and rolls him back into the ring.

Kibagami pulls Clark to his feet and whips him to the ropes, looking to catch him on the way back with a Yakuza kick, but the Cruiserweight champion is still a little too fast for the veteran to catch – Clark ducks under the Silent One’s outstretched leg, grabs a quick waistlock, and pulls Kibagami up and back, spiking the River Dragon with a not-quite-Dangerous-Backdrop! The crowd roars its approval as Kibagami bounces into the center of the ring, obviously shaken from the move’s impact.

“An impressive display of strength from citizen Clark!” marvels Comet.

“Clark’s one of the stronger cruiserweight competitors – something that’s helped him maintain an advantage in the division, and it’s certainly benefited him tonight against Kibagami. Heavy artillery like Riot of the Blood or the Fall From Grace might be a little easier for him to avoid.”

Instead of going for a pin, Clark grabs hold of Kibagami’s legs and crosses them, looking to cinch in his Unplugged submission and capitalize on his earlier offense – and Kibagami twists his legs sharply to the right, nearly flipping the musician over in the process. Clark is slightly flustered, but he tries to grab hold again – the River Dragon simply kicks his hands away, sending Clark into the ropes as Kibagami struggles to his feet.

“Clark’s been smart enough to work the back instead of attacking those powerful legs, but now he’s having difficulty getting the submission holds he expected to win him the match. He better figure something out quick, though, because if Kibagami gets to his feet, Clark’s likely to find out just how strong those legs of his really are.”

Frustrated, Clark grabs a front facelock as the Silent One staggers up; he knows Kibagami’s neck is weak (doesn’t everybody?), and what better shortcut to take to the finish than a neckbreaker...

RAAAAAAAAHHH!

The crowd cheers as Kibagami suddenly shoves the Cruiserweight champion’s arms away and spins sharply to his left –

SLAM!

– then back to his right –

SLAM!

The double kesagiri chop sends Alan Clark reeling backwards, staggering towards the ropes, but an enraged Kibagami doesn’t give him a moment’s pause – he steps towards Clark, grabs a hasty front facelock, and lifts the smaller man clear into the air by his neck!

”FAAAAAAA-UCK YOU!”

BAM!

“Damn it. We’re so getting fined for that one.”

The Downshifter Suplex sends Clark crashing down to the mat, clutching his neck! Kibagami quickly hooks the leg –

ONE!

TWO!

THRE – NO!

Clark barely gets his shoulder up in time, much to Kibagami’s dismay!

“That may have been a mistake on citizen Clark’s behalf, Bobby,” says Comet, nodding sagely to himself. “Citizen Nathaniel is rather protective of his neck – Clark may have gone for too much with that neckbreaker attempt. High-risk has kept him in control of this match for the most part, but that much risk might cost him the match.”

Kibagami pulls Clark up to his feet – and is promptly surprised as the Cruiserweight champion leaps onto his shoulders to attempt a hurricanrana! Kibagami’s instinct is to grab hold of Clark’s arms and pull him down; Bobby Riley and Comet see this motion at the same time, and both yell:

”DEMONSTAR DRIVER!”

Almost as if he heard them, Clark spins around on Kibagami’s shoulders so that he’s facing the same way as his opponent, and he rolls down and forward, allowing his body weight to force the Silent One to roll with him into a Victory Roll!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

NO!

Kibagami kicks out at the last possible moment, drawing a tremendous sigh of relief from the crowd – they like Clark, but they just got Kibagami back, and they can’t decide who they really want to win. The Slaughterer scrambles to his feet, cursing himself for nearly losing to such a common maneuver –

CRACK!

– And promptly walks headfirst into a decidedly uncommon hurricane kick! The force of the blow knocks the River Dragon onto his back, and as soon as Clark regains his feet, he scampers up to the top rope!

”Clark’s going for another high-risk move, and it looks like this one might keep Kibagami down!”

“Citizen Clark has barely missed being kicked in the face one time too many – I think he’d rather risk it all on one move at this point than chance those dangerous strikes of Kibagami’s once again!”

The musician comes off the top, spiraling downward in fantastic fashion, looking to connect with The Encore, but Kibagami rolls out of the way just in the nick of time – and Clark manages to use his own momentum to roll through the move and to the other side of the ring, narrowly avoiding an ugly wipeout. Clark regains his footing in the opposite corner as Kibagami pulls himself up near the turnbuckles, trying to catch his breath – leaving himself exposed to another high-risk maneuver from Alan Clark.

“Kibagami’s running on borrowed time right now – he hasn’t had a moment to collect himself, and Clark’s bringing out the big guns to try and put this match away!”

With a stutter-step forward, Clark begins cartwheeling towards the corner, looking to connect with the One Hit Wonder and put this match away for good. Kibagami lays against the turnbuckle, injured, dazed – Clark turns in midair, his agility fully on display as he swings his foot around at the Silent One’s unprotected head –

And Kibagami very casually dips his head underneath the blow.

Clark manages to adjust just enough in midair to land on his feet, but he stumbles slightly – most people don’t manage to dodge that particular move. He turns towards the turnbuckle, but Kibagami’s already moved from –

CRACK!

Oh.

CRACK!

There he is.

CRACK!

A final sharp kick to the face sends the Cruiserweight champion tumbling to the mat – hurt, surprised, and maybe half-conscious at best. Kibagami moves purposefully out of the corner towards his opponent.

“Zounds!” cries Cyclone Comet as the River Dragon stalks his prey. “The complexion of this matchup has changed entirely in just a matter of moments, and now citizen Clark is reeling! Could Kibagami have been playing possum, Bobby?”

The look on the Slaughterer’s face betrays his weariness – Clark has hurt him, maybe even pushed him farther than he expected. But Kibagami knows how far he can go.

“I don’t think so, Comet.”

He knows how much he can withstand.

“I think Clark finally made that one mistake Kibagami needed him to make.”

The look on his face says that Clark can’t push him quite far enough.

The look on his face says, quite simply, ”You beat me once. You won’t do that again.”

CRACK!

Two more merciless kicks to Clark’s ribs send the Cruiserweight champion sprawling to the canvas.

CRACK!

The River Dragon has tired of playing cat and mouse.

CRACK!

Three more ensure that Clark will not defend himself, and Kibagami grabs a handful of hair and pulls the musician to his feet. Clark swings a wild right hand in the direction of his opponent, but he’s too dazed to cause any real damage, and besides –

BAM!

An elbow to the face stops him cold! The Slaughterer calmly whips Clark hard into the turnbuckle – the impact shakes the ring and sends the musician staggering out of the corner...AND INTO A BONE-SNAPPING, BOWEL-QUAKING, FIVE-ALARM NO-HOLDS-BARRED UGLY-AS-HELL ANGRY-MAORI-FUN-TIME-INSPIRED BURNING LARIAT! Alan Clark is flipped inside-out and back again, and the Michigan fans roar their approval! Kibagami drops to his knees and hooks the leg –

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

NO!

The audience goes into hysterics – almost of all of them believed that would’ve been enough to put Clark away, and Kibagami seems to feel the same. Undeterred all the same, he lifts a near-lifeless Clark up from the canvas and shoves him back against the ropes, exposing Clark to a vicious series of knife-edged chops!

SLAP! (WHOO!)

The River Dragon whips his opponent towards the ropes, waits just long enough for Clark to reach the other side of the ring, then charges in after him. Clark sees Kibagami coming and leaps into the air with a high cross body block, anticipating the chance for a flash pin.

THUD.

“Ohhhhhhhh!”

Sadly, Alan Clark does not anticipate the oncoming Yakuza kick.

He collapses to the mat, gasping for breath, trying desperately to get enough oxygen into his lungs to allow him to escape his opponent for just a few moments – but his luck has run out. He has made one mistake, and it has led to another, and another, and another.

Kibagami pulls a wheezing Alan Clark up to his feet in one smooth motion and hooks a full nelson. Clark tries to struggle, but he simply does not have the energy to break the hold. The Slaughterer lifts his opponent up and bridges backwards, a picture-perfect dragon suplex –

BAM!

”Chasing the Dragon!”

Kibagami is a careful man these days.

BAM!

”This has to be all!”

Kibagami knows how dangerous mistakes can be.

BAM!

“I must say, I do feel bad for citizen Clark –“

BAM!

Kibagami doesn’t make mistakes.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING DING DING!

”Your winner by pinfall...Nathaniel Kibagami!”

Kibagami ascends the turnbuckle – a little battered, but far from beaten – and spreads his arms once again, to the delight of the Detroit fans. Alan Clark is eased out of the ring by Funyon – the look on the Cruiserweight champion’s face suggests that he’s still counting exactly how many times the River Dragon dropped him on his head.

“A convincing victory for Nathaniel Kibagami in his return to the SWF and the side...of JUSTICE,” intones Comet solemnly.

“Well, I’m willing to admit it when I’m wrong, and it seems that I was wrong about Kibagami,” says Riley, grudgingly. “If he really has cleaned up – and I can’t imagine Mark would’ve resigned him if he hadn’t – I’m impressed. He really might be in the best shape of his life, Comet. Not that it’d be saying much, of course, but at least it’s something.”

Nathaniel Kibagami stands victorious for the first time in seven months. He is healthy, he is in control, and he is supremely confident in his abilities. There is nothing left but fire in Nathaniel Kibagami, and that fire has made believers out of everyone in the Joe Louis Arena this evening – even Bobby Riley.

On the monitors in the back, Alex Zenon is still watching.

Cuban Linx · April 10, 2004

The match was put in the show, so i guess it's not needed here anymore.

Edited April 10, 2004 by Cuban_Linx

Toxxic · April 10, 2004

OK - here's mine. I can only assume that the fact that I cheated the stip hurt me in addition to anything else, but I was facing fucking Janus. The guy's 150lb heavier than me and I didn't see any way I could legitamately drag him in order to win.

“Greetings Citizens, and welcome back to STOOOOOORRRRRRMMMMM!!” Comet gushes as the live feed returns. “We’ve seen some great matches so far this evening and the main event of Danny Williams vs Charlie Matthews is going to be amazing, but first we have a match for the ICTV Title!”

“Featuring the man who beat Danny Williams on Smarkdown - Toxxic!” Riley butts in. “It should be Toxxic in the main event, Comet, and it should be for the World Title!”

“Well technically it was Liston who actually pinned Danny Williams last show,” Comet points out. “Are you suggesting the Demon should be facing Grappler tonight?”

“Well, I’m not sure I’d go that far...” Riley concedes.

“Ex-actly, Robert,” Comet says, turning back to the camera. “Anyway, tonight Citizen Toxxic had better not be thinking about the main event, because he’s going to have more than enough to worry about with his challenger - the Anti-Heel Machine, Terrence Bailey!”

As if the production crew are listening to Comet’s words the lights in the Joe Louis Arena suddenly dim. The crowd rise to their feet as red lights start to flash in synch with an ominous, buzzing alarm. Indistinct red letters appear on the Smarktron - letters that finally resolve into:

[sTATUS: RELEASED!]

The Joe Louis Arena ERUPTS as the chorus of Killswitch Engage’s ‘As Darkness Falls’ echoes out over the arena. Two spotlights swing around the crowd as if searching, and the familiar figure of the Anti-Heel Machine appears at the top of the ramp and throws his arms into the air!

BOOOM!!

The sound of cheering is momentarily lost amidst the sound of a storm of black and white pyrotechnics that blast into the air, shrouding the stage before Terrence strides down the ramp.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Strap Match for the Intercontinental-Television Title!” Funyon booms. “In order to win, either man must touch all four turnbuckles in turn! Introducing first, the challenger; from Sydney, Australia; weighing 360lbs; he is one-half of the SWF Tag Team Champions... TERRRRR-EENNCCEEE.... BAAAAAAAAAYYYYY-LLLLLLEEEEEEYYYYYY!!!”

Terrence reaches the ring and takes off his trenchcoat, leaving it on the ring steps before rolling under the bottom rope and rising back to his feet again. The Anti-Heel Machine turns to stare back at the entrance ramp, eyes green and calm but hands firmly gripping the top rope.

“What a behemoth this man is!” Comet exclaims as Terrence waits. “A true athlete even at that size, Terrence Bailey has to be one of the most feared competitors in the SWF!”

“Yes, but he’s feared for all the wrong reasons, Comet!” Riley responds. “Besides, these days it seems that he can’t win without letting out... the other guy.”

“I think that is a gross slur on both Citizen Bailey’s self-control and the psychiatric services offered in this country!” Comet retorts. “I guarantee you Robert - Citizen Bailey will be able to win this match without allowing Janus to surface!”

Demonstrating another eerie understanding between commentary and production the words “Prepare To Be Proved Wrong” flash up on the blacked-out Smarktron as the crunching guitars of Lostprophets’ ‘We Still Kill The Old Way’ kicks in. The screen cuts to a shot of Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table with the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the...

GO!

BOOOM!!

...blast of red pyro that heralds the arrival of the SWF’s premier straight-edger! As the smoke clears a figure appears at the top of the ramp... but it isn’t Toxxic. The figure raises a title belt in each hand and steps forward onto the entrance ramp, flicks her red-and-black dreadlocks back over her shoulder and glances back at the curtain that masks the entrance to the backstage area. A second later it is pushed aside, and Toxxic makes his way out into the hostile environment of the Joe Louis Arena!

“And his opponent!” Funyon booms, reading from the card in front of him. “Accompanied to the ring by ‘Jet’; from Nottingham, England; weighing 218lbs, he is the SWF Hardcore-Gamers AND Intercontinental-Television Champion... TOXXX-XXXIIIC!!”

With Jet leading the way, still carrying the ICTV belt but with the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship now slung over one shoulder, Toxxic makes his way down to the ring. The rookie’s eyes are focused intently on Terrence - and the Anti-Heel machine stares straight back.

“Why Comet, I do believe you’re at a loss for words!” Riley chortles.

“Wha- nonsense!” The superhero responds. “But there can be no doubt, Robert - that IS the same girl who mugged a Girl Scout for her uniform on Lockdown and then kissed Toxxic, AND who drove him and Liston to safety on Smarkdown! Now, the question is: who is she, and why has she thrown her lot in with this rookie?”

“The question is; who cares about a girl when we’re about to see a blatant miscarriage of justice?” Riley replies. “Toxxic was right; this match isn’t a wrestling match, and no-one should have to be attached to that psycho! But then again, in a match which is going to be about speed and agility he should have Janus’ number...”

“It’s Terrence at the moment, Robert,” Comet says as Toxxic rolls under the bottom rope, followed into the ring by Jet who hands the ICTV belt over to referee Matthew Kivell. “Somehow I don’t think Janus would be content to wait for the bell. Besides, Toxxic’s speed and agility are both going to be considerably constrained by THAT!”

Kivell has pulled out the 12-foot long leather strap: Toxxic cracks his neck from side-to-side and looks dubiously at it, but a small smile plays over the features of the Anti-Heel Machine as he extends his huge left wrist. Kivell fastens the cuff on one end onto Bailey’s arm, then motions to Toxxic to allow himself to be similarly tethered. The Straight-Edge Sensation shows far more reluctance than his opponent, but finally allows it. Kivell stands back and motions for Jet to leave the ring, then signals for the bell.

*DING-DING!*

That faint smile still hanging around his mouth, Terrence extends his right hand in an apparent gesture of sportsmanship. Toxxic watches the hand cautiously, looks up into the face of the Anti-Heel Machine... and extends his own hand for a handshake, albeit a very brief one.

“A surprising gesture from both men there,” Comet exclaims as Toxxic quickly backs away from his much larger opponent, making a couple of quick tugs on the strap as if to check that he really is tied to the Australian. “Terrence Bailey showing his true quality by shaking the hand of a man who severely hurt Aecas and mocked both Dace Night and Danny Williams. And Toxxic - well, I’m just surprised...”

“Toxxic simply wants to keep the psycho happy,” is Riley’s opinion. “It’s bad enough he’s being forced to compete in this match at all; he also has to try and ensure he doesn’t get torn limb-from-limb!”

The two men circle each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. After a few tense seconds Toxxic decides to do just that - and turns and runs for the turnbuckle behind him! The ICTV champion stretches out a hand...

*WHAM!!*

...and Terrence steps back, yanks his left arm around and jerks Toxxic backwards off his feet and down to the mat!

“TRI-NI-TY!”

Toxxic clutches his left shoulder with his black-nailed right hand and glares up at the huge Australian, who raises a finger and wags it in a reproachful manner at the rookie, infuriating smile still in place. The Straight-Edge Sensation pushes himself up, brings the strap taut and pulls... grabs it with his other hand, leans into his efforts like a man in a tug-of-war and pulls some more... and finally gives up, having failed to budge Terrence one inch.

“Citizen Bailey delivering a message to his opponent right from the start here,” Comet says as Terrence casually raises his right hand and runs it through his hair. “It is going to be HELL for Toxxic to shift the challenger at all!”

“Which is what makes this encounter so unfair, Comet,” Riley answers. “Janus could walk right round this ring if he wanted to and tag all four buckles right now - in fact, that might be the most merciful way of doing this! It’d be a shame to see Toxxic seriously hurt due to a final burst of spite from Mark Stevens.”

“For the last time Robert, it’s Citizen Bailey in there at the moment,” Comet replies tiredly. “And let’s just see what happens here. I don’t doubt that you’re right about the outcome, for once... but let’s just see.”

Clearly realising that he’s never going to be able to overpower the Anti-Heel Machine Toxxic starts to cautiously advance towards his massive adversary. Terrence sets himself, ready for any attack - and as the Australian broadens his vertical base Toxxic dives forward and scampers through his legs! Momentarily outmanoeuvred Terrence gropes at thin air and Toxxic scrambles upright behind him to tag the first turnbuckle before dashing off at right-angles. Terrence is stepping over his own arm in order to avoid getting tangled up and his grab misses the ducking ICTV champion - who runs on to tag a second buckle! Toxxic is almost at the full length of the strap now from the floundering Terrence, and the Straight-Edge Sensation makes a run for the third buckle... only to be brought up short again as Terrence snaps the leather taut once more. This time Toxxic manages to avoid losing his footing, but as Terrence starts to bring the strap in hand-over-hand the Brit has no chance of resisting. The Anti-Heel Machine sets himself for one last massive heave that will drag the reluctant straight-edger within reach of a right-handed Knuckle Bomb - only for Toxxic to change his tactics at the last moment and come running in, the lack of resistance causing Terrence to stumble backwards and get nailed with a running dropkick that knocks him into the corner! The huge Australian is given no chance to rest as Toxxic comes running at him again, jumping into the air in order to deliver a running splash-

“Gheerrrk!”

-only for Terrence to reach out almost casually with his right hand and catch Toxxic by the neck! Striding out of the corner the Anti-Heel Machine looks around at the cheering Detroit fans...

*WHAM!!*

...and plants Toxxic in the middle of the ring with a chokeslam!

“Is this fair, Comet?” Bobby Riley asks. “Is it fair to tether a champion of Toxxic’s calibre to a man who can lift him with one hand?”

“I’m not sure about fair exactly, Robert,” Comet muses. “It certainly is amusing though.”

Terrence leans down to inspect the writhing Toxxic and appears to be satisfied with the result because the massive Antipodean turns and strides off towards a turnbuckle. Reaching it he slaps the top casually, then makes off towards another. The Detroit fans start to rally behind the Anti-Heel Machine as he reaches the second turnbuckle and calmly tags that one too. As Jet looks on in horror at ringside Terrence turns and strides diagonally across the ring, making for his third target - but as he steps over the fallen Toxxic and continues on his way the champion rises back to his feet! Terrence is unaware of Toxxic’s sudden revival and takes another step... then his left leg collapses under him, and all 7’2’’ of the Anti-Heel Machine topples backwards!

*THUD!!*

“He just dropkicked Citizen Bailey’s left knee out from under him!” Comet exclaims as Toxxic pushes himself up again, rubbing his throat and his back. “The champion isn’t giving in without a fight!”

Terrence is stirring on the canvas, but Toxxic takes advantage of his opponent’s momentary incapacitation and jumps into action, tagging one turnbuckle... a second... Toxxic turns and makes for the third... but again he is brought up short by Terrence as the Australian forcibly applies the brakes. Looking back at his massive opponent Toxxic sees that Terrence is only on one knee...

*SMACK!!*

...and dives in, delivering a massive superkick to the jaw!

“Hah! Eat that, Janus!” Riley yells as Terrence slumps sideways, putting out one hand to catch himself. “He might not be able to kick you in the head when you’re standing up, but he can when you’re kneeling!”

Grinning lopsidedly Toxxic turns and runs back towards the elusive third turnbuckle, but is halted again by the leather strap. The arm that Terrence put out on the far side to break his fall was the left arm, so the other end of the strap is even further from the turnbuckle than before. Toxxic grinds his teeth and charges back towards the Anti-Heel Machine...

*BAM!!*

...only to get FLATTENED by a left-handed Knuckle Bomb!

“Citizen Bailey saw the incoming threat this time, and Citizen Toxxic paid for it!” Comet cries as Janus straightens up, one hand rubbing his jaw. “What can Terrence do now?”

The answer; tag a turnbuckle. Terrence slaps the one nearest then turns away and heads towards another, but again he fails to notice Toxxic get back to his feet behind his back. Unsteadily, the defending champion closes on the Australian from behind.

*CHING!!*

Terrence’s eyes bulge and he falls to his knees in front of the second ringpost, both hands clutching his groin as his face contorts in pain. Toxxic then dropkicks Terrence in the back of his head, sending his black-and-white bonce bouncing off the second-rope turnbuckle!

“What disgusting tactics by Toxxic!” Comet yells as the straight-edger picks himself up and then walks on Terrence in order to tag the buckle and start his own sequence of four off again.

“Oh come off it Comet,” Riley retorts. “It’s no-disqualification! Besides, if you were in the ring with Terrence - see, I got it ‘right’ this time - wouldn’t you resort to every trick in the book?”

“Errr... wrong again, Robert,” Comet replies, staring at the ring.

“Then you’re a fool,” Riley sniffs, sitting back as Toxxic reaches another turnbuckle and tags it.

“No, I mean you got the name wrong again,” Comet says, sitting back in his chair slightly. “Toxxic isn’t in the ring with Terrence anymore.”

“You mean...?” Riley’s eyes focus on the monstrous form that is now pulling itself up on the ropes.

“Yes, Robert,” Comet confirms. “Toxxic tried to use an underhanded tactic to take out the threat, and only succeeded in awakening a bigger one. Janus is paying Detroit a visit.”

Sure enough, the eyes that glare at the Straight-Edge Sensation are no longer a clear, calm green but a disturbing fiery red. Unaware of the change Toxxic is trying to reach his third turnbuckle, diagonally across the ring from the newly-awakened Hell Machine. The rookie heaves and heaves on the strap until it finally gives enough for him to reach his target. Toxxic gleefully turns away, ready to end this match, only to find to his dismay that the reason the strap had gone slack was because Janus is charging across the ring at him! Unable to respond in time the ICTV champion is sandwiched against the turnbuckle by Janus’ immense weight, and as he starts to fall forwards the Hell Machine scoops him up and raises him overhead in a press slam.

“Oh dear,” Comet says as Janus lets out a roar to match any produced by the Detroit crowd. “If Toxxic ever had any chance of winning, it’s gone now. In fact, I think he’s going to be lucky to survive this...”

Grinning triumphantly, Janus turns on the spot in the centre of the ring before flexing his massive arms one final time and dropping Toxxic behind him - but the Straight-Edge Sensation lands on his feet! Ribs still burning from being crushed by his opponent mere moments earlier, Toxxic manages to fire off a basement dropkick to the back of the Hell Machine’s knee that knocks it from under the bigger man. Janus lands heavily on the knee and grimaces, and Toxxic bounces off the ropes behind him before grabbing a handful of black-and-white hair on the way past, flattening the Hell Machine’s face against the canvas with a facecrusher! Janus almost immediately pushes himself back up again - only to eat a running basement dropkick!

“Well Comet, who do you want to win now?” Riley asks as Jet screams encouragement to the champion from ringside. “The arrogant-but-talented rookie or the part-time psychopath?”

“I may have to get back to you on that one, Robert,” Comet replies.

With Janus flat on his back Toxxic appears to be at a loss, so focused on bringing the big man down that he is momentarily unsure what to do. However, the champion makes his decision and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Tagging it for good measure Toxxic prepares to leap off and hit a high-flying move onto the prone Hell Machine...

...but Janus turns his head to look straight into the startled straight-edger’s eyes, and yanks on the strap with an evil smile! Toxxic is hauled off the top...

*WHAM!!*

...and lands HARD right across the Australian’s raised knees!

“TER-RENCE!”

The Hell Machine rises slowly to his feet once more, but the crowd’s chants seem to be having a strange effect on the challenger. The Australian rubs his forehead in confusion as if realising for the first time who is actually in control of his body, and stares around blankly at the Detroit crowd. For a moment the red fires in his eyes seem to fade and Terrence “Janus” Bailey stands uncertain - but then they return, and with the same sadistic smile creeping over his face Janus takes a firm grip on the strap and sets off across the ring, pulling the champion after him on his injured ribs.

“It looks like Citizen Janus might have this match wrapped up now,” Comet says as the Hell Machine slaps the first buckle, “and with it the ICTV Title. Toxxic got lucky with the first two members, but it appears that third time is the charm for the Unholy Trinity!”

“Luck has nothing to do with it,” Riley argues. “Toxxic outwrestled Aecas and Dace Night, but he’s been forced into this encounter which has about as much to do with wrestling as the Gobbledegooker!”

Unaware of Bobby Riley’s references to the failed gimmicks of another federation Janus starts to stride towards the second turnbuckle, but is halted by the feeling that his feet have been tied together. Looking down, the Hell Machine realises that the obstruction is not rope or even leather strap, but Toxxic’s arms wrapped around his shins. Before the Straight-Edge Sensation can apply any more leverage and possibly topple his opponent Janus reaches down and grabs his head, then simply hauls Toxxic up by his hair! The squirming ICTV champion is helpless to do anything as Janus lunges forward...

*CRACK!!*

...and sends his skull smashing into Toxxic’s forehead! The Brit is knocked backwards off his feet and slumps down, back resting against the nearest ringpost. Janus, still smiling, grabs Toxxic by the neck before picking him bodily up again.

“TER-RENCE!”

Whether the Detroit fans have simply not realised who is in the ring or whether they are trying to encourage the gentler side of the Australian to re-emerge is unclear - however, either way all Janus does is stare around for a moment before snorting and returning his attention to the straight-edger. Toxxic’s eyes are vaguely unfocused and the Brit is clearly suffering from the abuse he has taken so far, but that of course means nothing to the Hell Machine. Grabbing Toxxic’s arm Janus whiplashes his body, propelling him with alarming speed towards the opposite turnbuckles. In order to allow his opponent to crash into the buckles Janus has to follow Toxxic across the ring, keeping the strap slack - but as he approaches the corner Toxxic vaults upwards, then comes flying back at the Hell Machine with a leg lariat!

“Role Reversal!” Comet yells as Toxxic’s right leg crashes into Janus’ jaw. The impact is enough to knock the Australian off his feet and he lands back-first on the canvas with a resounding thud. Toxxic himself seems to be firing more on instinct than intellect but hits the ropes regardless... only for Janus to lunge back up to his feet with a MONSTROUS clothesline that causes the champion to backflip through the air and land facefirst on the mat. Janus pulls Toxxic back to his feet and whips the Brit into the ropes again before ducking his head - but Toxxic puts on the brakes, drives Janus’ face into his knee with a facecrusher and then falls backwards, spiking the Hell Machine down to the mat with a DDT.

“Sobering Thought!” Comet calls as the top of Janus’ cranium impacts on the canvas. “That little move combo has given Toxxic the advantage in several situations - will it be enough now?”

The superhero’s question is answered soon enough, as even after having his head drilled into the ring Janus is still unwilling to stay down. With an audible growl the Hell Machine starts to push himself up again, but as he starts to straighten Toxxic kicks him in the gut, doubling the big Australian over again. With a speed born of desperation Toxxic places Janus in a vertical headscissors... hooks the right arm up behind his back... hooks the left arm...

“He’s going for the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, and Janus is in the middle of the ring!” Bobby Riley shouts. “If he hits this then it’s over - Toxxic will be able to reach all four corners from there!”

...but whether as Janus or as Terrence, Australia’s biggest export seems to delight in upsetting the over-excited Mr. Riley. Toxxic’s preparations come to naught as Janus simply flexes his mighty biceps, wrenching his arms free from the Straight-Edge Sensation’s grip. Taking a hold on the back of his opponent’s legs Janus straightens with Toxxic draped over his shoulders, before leaning forward again to whiplash the Brit back down!

“High-angle spinebuster!” Comet cries as Toxxic’s head bounces off the canvas. “Citizen Janus might have won the match with that move!”

Sure enough, the writhing Toxxic doesn’t appear to be in any state to stop the Hell Machine from taking his title. Turning away from the fallen straight-edger Janus makes for a turnbuckle - but is brought up short by what he sees. Having abandoned the Hardcore Gamer’s Title at ringside the girl known as Jet is climbing to the top buckle! Astonished, the Australian pauses - and Jet launches off the top rope, wrapping her legs around his neck in a hurricanrana!

Ermmm...

Still standing tall in the ring, Janus appears slightly surprised by the pretty girl hanging head-down by her legs from his shoulders. Curious, the Hell Machine looks down only to see two startled eyes staring back into his as Jet realises that attempting this sort of move on someone around 200lbs heavier than yourself is rarely wise. Especially if that person happens to be the psychotic monster known as Janus. Grinning, Janus places a hand on either of his assailant’s hips and raises her back into the air...

*BAM!!*

...before PLANTING her onto the mat with a sit-out powerbomb! The Detroit crowd are uncertain whether to cheer or boo, the fact that Janus was defending himself against interference from someone supporting Toxxic being cancelled out by the fact that it was Janus, not Terrence... and that the girl herself is damn cute. Unconcerned by the mixed reaction, Janus stares down at Jet’s broken body with eyes that burn red - but suddenly a leather strap snakes around his throat and the Hell Machine’s air is cut off!

“Yes!” Riley yells, punching a fist into the air. “You get him, Toxxic! Teach that Australian lout how to treat a woman!”

“You’re claiming that you know how to treat a woman, Robert?” Comet asks in surprise. “Or were you referring to Toxxic’s current attempts to strangle his opponent?”

“Research indicates that most women would prefer to be choked rather than powerbombed, Comet,” Riley replies, shrugging. “I’m only reporting scientific findings.”

Fingers clawing at his throat, Janus struggles to breathe. However, Toxxic has a long length of strap right around the Australian’s throat, and both feet placed between his opponent’s shoulderblades to increase his leverage. Leaning back the straight-edger tries to garrotte his monstrous opponent, and for several seconds he seems to be succeeding in his aim as Janus’ thrashing grows wilder but weaker. Matthew Kivell shouts into Toxxic’s face, but in the no-DQ environment his powers are strictly limited.

“Will Janus pass out?” Comet asks rhetorically. “It may be that Toxxic has hit on the only tactic that will work, dirty as it may be.”

“Better smeg than dead,” Riley replies, totally confusing all members of the SWF audience who haven’t seen Red Dwarf.

Sensing that his aim may be in sight Toxxic tries to tighten his grip, but abruptly Janus reaches back behind his head and grabs the leather. Huge hands gripping firmly the Unholy Trinity member starts to pull, slowly but inexorably releasing the pressure on his windpipe. Despite Toxxic’s best efforts his arms are pulled further forwards... until finally with a tremendous effort Janus raises the strap over the top of his head and releases it, causing the Straight-Edge Sensation to roll backwards!

“He did it!” Comet exclaims unnecessarily. “Citizen Janus got out of Toxxic’s... oh...”

But the SWF fans at home will never find out what it was of Toxxic’s that Janus escaped, because as the man from Sydney starts to push himself slowly upright again, one hand massaging his throat, the eyes that stare out from under his black-and-white hair are a clear green once more. Glancing around, Terrence Bailey takes in the scene and notably flinches as his eyes light upon the form of Jet who is being carefully removed from the ring by the timekeeper and Matthew Kivell. The Anti-Heel Machine grimaces ruefully but has no further time to contemplate on Janus’ actions because Toxxic rushes into the attack once more!

“The champion is well and truly fired up now!” Comet calls as the straight-edger starts pummelling his huge opponent with right hands, even starting to drive Terrence back towards the corner. “From the way he reacted after Janus powerbombed that girl Jet we can only assume that he is attached to her in some way.”

“Perhaps, but currently Toxxic is attached to Janus by a leather strap!” Riley answers. “I’m amazed that Janus didn’t pass out a few seconds ago!”

“Maybe Janus did pass out, Robert,” Comet speculates as Toxxic ascends to the second buckle, pounding down on Terrence Bailey. The fury of his onslaught quickly wears off however, and grabbing his opponent Terrence throws him off. Toxxic lands rolling and comes to his feet again before charging his huge opponent once more, but this time Terrence moves aside with surprising quickness for one of his bulk, allowing Toxxic to slam chest-first into the turnbuckle... and as the rookie bounces backwards, clutching his ribs again, Terrence’s huge hand closes around his throat once more.

“He’s going for the chokeslam again!” Comet calls as Terrence hoists Toxxic into the air.

“DROP HIM!”

But the Detroit faithful are to be unrewarded, as moments before an untimely plunge to the mat Toxxic sticks his fingers into Terrence’s eyes! The big man howls in pain, drops the Straight-Edge Sensation and claws at his face whilst Toxxic massages his throat in unconscious imitation of Terrence a minute earlier. However, as Terrence stumbles backwards, left hand extended to blindly ward off any attack, Toxxic gets an idea. The champion moves quickly and circles Terrence until the strap is wound firmly around the Anti-Heel Machine’s legs - then dropkicks the back of both Terrence’s knees, sending the big Australian toppling forwards! The full seven feet two inches of Terrence Bailey falls like a mighty oak - and comes to rest throat-and-shoulders across the top rope. Eyes still blurry, Terrence struggles but is unable to free his legs and get the leverage to push himself off, and seeing what might be his last chance Toxxic dives in. The ICTV Champion grabs the top rope with both hands and launches his legs upwards, threading one under and one over Terrence’s neck before clamping them shut in a triangle-style chokehold!

“Another choke from Toxxic, this one utilising the top rope!” Comet says as Terrence starts to go blue in the face again. “I doubt if the Citizen Bailey has fully recovered his breath from the champion’s last attempt...”

Terrence thrashes, but he’s held fast. Unable to free his lower limbs he’s draped over the top rope, his throat locked in place by Toxxic’s legs. Terrence desperately tries to pry the straight-edger’s grip loose, but Toxxic’s baggy trousers hinder his efforts and he has virtually no leverage. Gritting his teeth, Toxxic wills himself to hold on as he attempts to choke the life out of his giant opponent, doing his best to ignore Matthew Kivell’s protests. Terrence’s struggles get weaker and weaker until finally...

*THUD!!*

...Toxxic releases his grip, and all three-hundred and sixty of the Anti-Heel Machine’s pounds slump to the mat, totally deadweight!

“Come on Toxxic, you’re nearly home!” Riley shouts. “Just touch the damn turnbuckles!”

Legs shaking from the amount of effort they’ve just expended, Toxxic wobbles over Terrence’s prone form and touches the turnbuckle beyond him. Slowly, the rookie stumbles along the side of the ring, using the ropes as support, and tags the second. Then Toxxic sets off diagonally across the ring, his legs starting to get stronger, and touches the third... but now comes the hard part. As Toxxic tries to reach the turnbuckle on the corner diagonally opposite Terrence he is brought up short - as he obviously feared he would be. Setting his feet, Toxxic attempts to pull the Australian’s body towards him, but to no avail. At ringside the recovering Jet raises her voice to try and motivate her man, but still Toxxic can’t get himself any more slack.

And Terrence starts to move.

“Merciful Zeus!” Comet blurts out as the Anti-Heel Machine starts to stir. “Terrence is still in this! All he has to do it NOT move towards Toxxic!”

“Are we sure that’s still Terrence?” Riley quails nervously.

The eyes that stare unsteadily across the ring at the hated British rookie are green - but very definitely annoyed. Toxxic stands his ground, trying to look like the last thing in the world that he wants is for Terrence to approach him, but the Anti-Heel Machine is taking no chances. Ponderously, breath still wheezing, Terrence gets up to one knee and starts to haul on the strap, tugging Toxxic further and further away from his elusive goal...

“So close,” Riley sobs. “So close!”

Despite all he can do, Toxxic can’t halt his jerking progress across the ring. Terrence is in no condition to chase him down, but he doesn’t need to when he can simply reel his prey in. Toxxic is less that five feet from violent destruction when he plunges a hand into one of his baggy side pockets...

...and pulls out a Stanley knife, quite possibly the same one he used on Aecas at From The Fire. Terrence freezes, wondering if the rookie is about to lunge for him, but Toxxic has other plans.

*click-click-click*

Sliding out the blade, Toxxic turns it onto the leather strap on his left wrist! The sharp edge cuts through the leather in a second, and the straight-edger turns and makes for home... Terrence lunges forward with a crude rugby tackle...

*THUMP!!*

...but misses! And with one diving leap Toxxic slaps the last turnbuckle, then rolls out of the ring!

*DING-DING!*

“What’s happened?” Riley asks, peering out from behind his fingers. “Did he win?”

“I... don’t know.” Comet admits. Matthew Kivell is conferring with Funyon, and finally the ring announcer raises the mic.

“Ladies and gentlemen; the referee has informed me that while the rules state both men must be tied together at the start of the match, there is no rule that says they must be attached at the end.” The Detroit crowd starts to stir restlessly, sensing what’s coming next, but Funyon continues anyway. “As a result; here is your winner... and STILL Intercontinental-Television Champion... TOXXX-XXXIIIC!!”

“BOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Detroit makes its feelings clear as the guitars of Lostprophets blast out over the PA of the Joe Louis Arena, but Toxxic evidently couldn’t care less. Grabbing both of his title belts from Kivell the British straight-edger makes his way up the ramp as quickly as he can whilst supporting Jet. In the ring, Terrence Bailey shakes his head and goes to speak with Matthew Kivell before apparently deciding against it as we

FADE OUT

Hank Kingsley · April 10, 2004

*sigh*

I should've known better, because I essentially wasted all of yesterday writing this POS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!*

SWF Storm EXPLODES back onto the air, as it is now time for the main event for tonight’s show! The fans are rabid, having already seen a night of thrilling, exciting action.

“Welcome back, citizens!” Cyclone Comet greets, “we’ve seen an amazing SWF Storm so far, but up next is what some internet fans have been dubbing a dream match – Charlie Matthews is going to lock up against Danny Williams in a non-title match!”

“What a coward Grappler is,” Bobby Riley scoffs, “he can’t even put his title on the line on a regular basis! I tell you, after Battleground, when John Duran wins the title, there’s going to be a whole lot of changes around here, for the better.”

“Bobbo, if the title was on the line tonight, there’s a possibility that Duran wouldn’t even get a title shot at Battleground, assuming Citizen Deathwish won tonight’s match.”

“…shut up.”

After Riley’s amazing save, the lights in the Joe Louis Arena go out completely, and familiar Duran Duran lyrics belt out from the sound system.

NO!

NOTORIOUS!

The words fade into Spineshank’s “Synthetic” as the Detroit fans roar their disproval of the man that appears on the stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Funyon begins, “the following non-title contest is our main event tonight, scheduled for ONE fall! First, please welcome the special guest commentator tonight, from Champaign, Illinois, he is the leader of the Unnamed, he is THE NOTORIOUS ONE, JOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN DUUUUUUURAAAAAN!!!”

The Notorious One marches down the ramp, clad in “Sin to Win” t-shirt and black pants. He circles around the ring and takes his seat next to Cyclone Comet before putting his headset on.

“I must say,” Comet begins, “it is a tad bit conspicuous, citizen Duran, that you come down to commentate during citizen Matthews’ match.”

“Don’t listen to him, Johnny,” Riley says, “good to have you here, stud muffin.”

Duran replies only to Comet’s statement, “I’m just here to study. You know, strategy, the like. Why would I want to cause any trouble?”

With that, In Flames’ “Jester’s Dance” blasts into the Joe Louis Arena, and the fans go absolutely INSANE!

“Now,” Funyon continues, “introducing the participants! First, from Louisville, Kentucky, weighing in at 243 pounds, he is a former SWF United States, Intercontinental-Television, and World Heavyweight Champion, he is DEAAAAAATHWISSSSSSSSH DAAAAAAANNY WIIIIIIIILLIAMSSSSSSS!!”

“DAN – E!”

The crowd’s chants show Michigan’s approval of Williams, as he steps out from behind the curtain and heads down to the ring. Danny stays focused on the ring, coolly sliding under the bottom rope and entering the ring. He never once looks at Duran at the commentary table.

“And his opponent…”

The lights go out, Metallica’s “Some Kind of Monster” echoes through the arena, and the fans continue their loud cheering!

“From Kansas City, Missouri, weighing in at 301 pounds, he is the S – W – F HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, HE IS CHAAAAAAAARLIE ‘GRAPPLER’ MAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTHEWSSSSSSSSS!!!”

Matthews appears at the top of the stage, World Title belt strapped proudly around his waist and a determined fire in his eyes. He nods a quick nod at the Detroit fans before confidently walking down the ramp towards the ring. He climbs up onto the apron and steps through the ropes, removing his title belt and placing it in the corner. Unlike Williams, Matthews does lock eyes with Duran, and it takes him a long while to divert his attention to the match at hand. Nick Soapdish checks to make sure both men are ready, and then signals for the bell to begin the match!

*DING DING DING!*

“Well, Citizen Duran,” Comet sighs, “since you happen to be out here, what are your thoughts on this match? It’s well documented that you don’t quite care for either man.”

“I hate Danny Williams’ guts,” Duran agrees, “but I hate Grappler’s even more. This guy is a phony, a counterfeit, whatever. As much as I can’t stand Danny, I want to see him kick Grappler’s ass tonight. It’ll just make the job easier later.”

“A vulture!” Riley exclaims, “See, Duran just likened himself to a vulture, a BIRD OF PREY~, going after the pickings left behind. If that isn’t a warrior, I don’t know what is.”

Matthews and Williams advance towards the center of the ring, and without much coaxing from the fans, lunge forward and interlock their arms with a collar-elbow tie-up. The two warriors remain at a stalemate for a few seconds as they jockey for position, but Matthews’ strength overcomes Williams’, as he is able to push him back against the turnbuckle. Soapdish calls for a clean break and gets one from Grappler, but as he backs away the champion makes a ‘bring it’ gesture, which gets a cheer from the crowd. Deathwish obliges, lunging out of the corner and initiating another tie-up. The two jockey again…but this time, Williams is able to slowly force Charlie against the opposite corner! Danny cleanly breaks, and does the same ‘bring it’ gesture to Matthews, to an even louder ovation from the Detroit crowd!

“And we’re seeing a little game of one-upmanship here!” Comet notes, “Citizen Duran, when you’re in the ring with our World Champion, what is your typical strategy?”

“He just BFT’s them into oblivion!” Riley screams, “Isn’t that right, soon to be champ?”

Duran chuckles before adding, “Well, yes and no. Riley, I appreciate the support, but Comet, you’ve gotta go in there and wear that bastard down. As much as I hate to admit it, Grappler is strong and has a hell of a lot of endurance, so you have to use submissions to slow him down.”

Matthews simply nods at Williams, and as both men lunge in for another tie-up, Grappler lifts his knee up, right into Danny’s midsection! Deathwish doubles over, and Charlie slugs him in the face with a hard left cross! A right cross! Matthews takes Danny by the arm and whips him towards the opposite side of the ring. Williams hits the ropes and comes back, just as Grappler locks his left arm around Danny’s left and drops down, flipping him over with an armdrag! Deathwish gets right back to his feet but so does Matthews, and as Danny runs forward, Charlie goes through the same motion, flipping him over with another armdrag…but this time, Williams rolls through with the move and gets right back to his feet, unharmed! Grappler runs towards Danny, but this time the former champion is ready, swinging his bent arm around and drilling Matthews in the side of the head with an elbow SMASH!

*CRAAAACK!*

The force of the awesome elbow causes Charlie to fall backwards, like a sack of bricks!

“TIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRR!!” Riley laughs, “sure, Danny Williams is a hemorrhoid on the ass of life, but seeing Charlie Matthews getting his ass kicked equals entertainment!”

“Can’t argue with that,” Duran muses.

Williams, seeing his opening, immediately walks over to Charlie and takes him by the head, lifting him up to his feet. He grabs Grappler’s right arm and twists around it, executing a basic arm wringer. From there, he bends the arm behind Matthews’ back, holding in a hammerlock. The champion quickly tries to fight out of it, shooting his left arm back with an elbow that catches Danny right in the head. Another one, a third…but Deathwish catches the third elbow and bends the arm behind his back, now executing a DOUBLE hammerlock on the champion! The crowd roars at Danny’s innovation, while Matthews struggles to find a way out of the hold. Seeing his only option available, Grappler turns his body and simply charges backwards, sandwiching Williams between Matthews’ 300 pounds and the turnbuckle! Danny doesn’t let go, so Charlie takes a few steps forward and charges back again, crushing Williams and forcing him to break the hold!

“Quite the ingenuity by Citizen Williams,” Comet points out, “and it looks like he’s targeting the arms of our champion, possibly setting him up for that deadly Buffalo Sleeper hold!”

“Deadly?” Duran scoffs, “I could fight out of that thing blindfolded! And those elbows? Pssh. You people make it sound like they’re gunshots when they’re really like bee stings.”

“Okay, Duran,” Riley mock-chastises, “don’t hurt Danny’s self confidence!”

“You’re right, Riley, I apologize. They’re more wasp stings than bee stings.”

Charlie turns around to face his adversary again, but instead of throwing punches, the champion lifts his leg into Danny’s midsection, causing him to double over. With that, Matthews gingerly wraps his left arm around Williams’ head and simply drops down, executing almost a bulldog-like maneuver before maintaining the headlock from a grounded position.

“DAN – E!”

The Michigan fans are loud and clear in their support for Williams, but Grappler isn’t listening as he maintains his tight hold on the Kentucky native. However, still being fresh in the match, Danny is able to rise up to his knees, Matthews with him, and then the two men get to their feet! Though still in the headlock, Danny shoots an elbow into Charlie’s side, three, to be exact, and as Charlie releases the headlock, Deathwish turns and wraps his arms around the champ’s body, before turning on his heel and lifting Grappler off his feet, dropping him to the mat with a side belly to belly suplex! The crowd roars again as Danny stays on top of Matthews, and Nick Soapdish counts the first cover of the match!

“ONE!”

“TW – NOOO!”

Matthews gets his shoulder off the canvas quite easily, and Williams gets off of him and retreats to a corner to wait for him to get to his feet.

“What a nice guy,” Duran says, mockingly, “you know, if he wasn’t such a freakin’ idiot, he’d stay on Grappler and beat him up some more! What’s with this quasi-respect these two guys have? You’re out there to win, not to keep the fans’ respect!”

“Citizen Duran,” Comet chimes in, “sometimes you need to look at both sides of an issue, not just your own.” With that, Duran and Riley both smack Comet on opposite sides of the head.

“There, Comet,” Riley laughs, “you just saw both sides of the issue!”

Matthews rises up, against the turnbuckle for support. Williams sees this and charges forward from the opposite corner, lifting his knee up and drilling Grappler right in the midsection with a HARD running knee lift! With Charlie stunned, Danny turns and reaches up, grabbing Matthews around the chin and pulling him forward, over his shoulder with a snapmare! Now with Grappler seated, Williams moves in for the kill, quickly trapping Charlie’s right arm behind him and wrapping his own left arm around Grappler’s neck with the BUFFALO SLEEP- but no, Matthews anticipates this and throws his body over, onto the nearby ropes, causing Danny to break the hold!

“That just shows you,” Comet notes, “that the Buffalo Sleeper hold can come out of NOWHERE! Early in the match, late, whenever, it IS something to be feared.”

“If you’re an incompetent boob of a champion,” Duran adds, “really, Grappler used to be a lot tougher than he is now. Now he just looks like a complete pussy, afraid of taking a submission hold from Danny Williams.”

Williams relinquishes the hold and backs away, allowing Matthews to use the ropes and pull himself up. As soon as he does, however, Danny attacks his back with hard elbows and kicks! To stop this sudden onslaught, Charlie shoots his right arm around with a backhand fist…but AGAIN Deathwish catches it and pulls it behind his back with a hammerlock! This time, though, Grappler is right in front of the ropes, and he’s able to reach his left arm out and grab the top, easily breaking the hold. Danny backs off again, but the two lunge in for a grapple…and this time Matthews drops down and scissors his legs around Williams’ ankle, bringing him down with a drop toe hold that causes his face to smack against the second turnbuckle! With Deathwish down, Charlie quickly moves to the middle of the ring and then charges at the turnbuckle, looking to knee Danny in the back of the head…but he moves out of the way! Grappler senses this and sticks his arms out, stopping himself against the corner. While Danny advances, Matthews shoots his leg back, catching him in the midsection, and then turns around, grabbing Williams around the waist! With one quick turn, the champion lifts Danny up and spins around, taking him down to the mat with his own belly to belly suplex!

“Danny Williams gets a taste of his own medicine!” Comet announces.

“Is that what I think it is?” Duran asks, “why, yes, that is Charlie Matthews getting an offensive maneuver in during this match! I didn’t think it was possible!”

“You know how slow he is,” Riley adds, “…in more ways than one. It just takes him awhile to pick things up.”

Instead of pinning Williams, Grappler rises to his feet and bends his right elbow, dropping back down with an elbow drop across the sternum of Deathwish! However, just as the move is hit, Danny takes hold of the arm and bends it backwards, executing an armbar! The Joe Louis Arena fans explode as Matthews frantically reaches for the ropes…and gets them! Williams again releases the hold and backs off, allowing Charlie to get up. When he does, the two men begin circling each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. Finally, after no move is made, the champion takes the initiative and lunges forward, only to have Danny Williams sidestep it! As Matthews turns back around to meet the former champion, Deathwish cocks his arm back and FIRES, drilling Charlie in the side of the head with an elbow smash! Grappler’s head rocks back as he falls against the turnbuckle, and Danny unleashes a SECOND elbow! The champion looks completely out of it as Danny pulls him out of the corner and traps him in a headlock, before grabbing his tights and hoisting the 300-pounder over his head, and down to the mat with a vertical suplex! Williams again reaches over and covers Matthews, this time hooking a leg as Soapdish counts!

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

SHOULDER UP! Grappler is able to shake the cobwebs out of his head and lift his shoulder up, before rolling away from Deathwish and towards the ropes.

“This is just pathetic,” Duran notes, “I’m practically embarrassed to watch this match.”

“Well, Citizen Duran,” Comet replies, “how well-versed are you, exactly, against Charlie Matthews? If I recall-“

“I’ve kicked his ass like fifty times! Did you not just see Smarkdown? What about-“

“I’m talking about singles matches! If I recall correctly, you’ve never defeated Citizen Matthews!”

“He’s made that well documented, Comet,” Riley states, “but that doesn’t mean he can’t beat him. A lot has changed since that dreary May fight for the SJL European Championship.”

Grappler brings himself up to his feet and again advances towards Williams. Deathwish quickly swings his arm again, looking to incapacitate him with anther elbow smash, but this time, Matthews is able to catch the arm, before pulling it in and swinging his left arm around, nailing Danny under the chin with a short arm clothesline that takes him down to the mat!

“GRA – PULL – ER!”

The fans finally start to come alive for the Champion, cheering him on as he backs against the ropes to catch his breath. He doesn’t do this for long, though, as he picks Danny up by the head to try and maintain his momentum. He wraps his arm around Danny’s head in a front facelock position and turns around, standing back to back with Williams with his head on his shoulder. As the champion prepares to drop down for a neckbreaker, Williams is able to step forward and shoot his leg back with a mule kick that ends up around Grappler’s buttocks area! Shaken by the hilarious blow, Matthews stumbles forward, towards the ropes. Danny, meanwhile, charges at the opposite ropes and hits them, coming towards Grappler at full force before leaping into the air, swinging his elbow around for a jumping elbow smash…but Charlie takes hold of Danny in mid air and drops him down throat-first across the top rope! As Danny staggers backwards, trying to catch his breath, Grappler again stands back to back with him and takes hold of his head, dropping down into a seated position and introducing Danny’s neck to his shoulder in vicious fashion!

”Good lord!” Comet exclaims, “that was a vicious neckbreaker by Citizen Matthews if I’ve ever seen one! Citizen Williams’ neck may be seriously wounded after that!”

“I’ve taken the move before, Comet,” Duran chimes in, “nothing to worry about. It’s pussified, like the majority of his moveset.”

“Then tell me, Citizen Duran, how come you couldn’t overcome his – pardon the expression – pussified moveset back in the SJL?”

“Those were different circumstances,” Riley again speaks for Duran, “completely different circumstances. Besides, Grappler’s just a shell of his former self right now.”

Matthews rolls Williams over onto his back and covers him, tightly hooking a leg as Nick Soapdish counts the first pin for Charlie in the match!

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

SHOULDER UP! Danny gets his shoulder up from the pin and rolls onto his stomach, nursing the back of his neck. Matthews stays on him, however, pulling him up to his feet by the head. He remains behind Williams and ducks under his arm, taking hold of him and lifting him up into the air diagonally for a back suplex…but Danny is able to flip out of it and land on his feet behind the champion! Deathwish quickly leaps up into the air and kicks his legs out, nailing Charlie in the back of the neck with a high dropkick that pushes him against the ropes! Matthews turns around, dazed, as Danny charges at the opposite ropes and builds momentum, bending his elbow back and swinging it around with ANOTHER elbow smash that sends Grappler all the way over the top rope and down to the floor! The Detroit fans roar as Matthews hits the floor, holding his head in pain. However, he’s able to use the nearby guardrail to pull himself up. Just as he does, though, Williams, from the middle of the ring, charges at Matthews and leaps OVER the top rope, coming down with his elbow bent and nailing Grappler right in the head with the ELBOW SUICIDA that crushes him down to the floor!

“DAN – E!”

“THE ELBOW SUICIDA!” Comet proclaims, “what a magnificent move! Grappler may be knocked out cold!”

“It may be a nice move,” Riley adds, “but it certainly wasn’t smart. That took a hell of a lot out of both men, and they might end up both getting counted out!”

Just as Riley mentions the possible situation, Nick Soapdish begins his obligatory ten count!

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THREE!”

Danny is the first one to show signs of life, as he rolls off of Matthews, who is propped against the guardrail. His head obviously took a nasty bump onto the steel from the move.

“FOUR!”

“FIVE!”

Williams gets on all fours…and then on his knees, and finally up to his feet.

“SIX!”

Warily, Danny rolls under the bottom rope and back into the ring. Matthews, meanwhile, finally starts to move, onto his knees.

“SEVEN!”

“This is too funny,” Duran laughs, “I mean, he’s obviously faking this just to be counted out and not take the fall. Anyone would be up from that move by now.”

“EIGHT!”

Grappler rises up to his feet at last, albeit leaning against the guardrail for support.

“NINE!”

When Matthews hears what count it is, he uses all of his energy to throw himself forward against the apron…and under the bottom rope, reentering the ring! Danny Williams stays right on him, however, rolling him onto his back and covering the still-dazed Champion!

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

AND A KICKOUT! Grappler gets his shoulder up with effort, and Williams brings him back to his feet. He traps the champion in a front facelock, holding onto his tights…but no, Charlie uses sends three left fists into Danny’s ribs, breaking the suplex attempt! With Danny stunned, Matthews wraps his arms around his waist and lifts Deathwish into the air, dropping him down crotch-first against his knee with an inverted atomic drop! Grappler is too tired to capitalize, however, as he drops right down to a knee, exhausted. Williams is able to shake the move off and advance forward, but Charlie springs to life, albeit only to reach out and sweep Danny’s legs out with a double leg takedown and fold his legs over his body with a DEEP cover that Nick Soapdish counts!

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

SHOULDER UP! Danny immediately rolls through from the cover and gets to his feet, Matthews doing the same. Williams charges forward, looking to capitalize on Grappler’s wary state by spinning around and swinging his arm for the ROLLING ELBOW…but Charlie sidesteps it! Williams’ momentum carries him to the ropes, which he rebounds off of, only to have Matthews catch him with an arm around the neck and a leg sweep, driving him down to the mat with a quick STO!

“Citizen Matthews just solidified his advantage,” Comet states, “by stopping the momentum of Citizen Williams COLD with that STO!”

“I don’t think solidified is the right word,” Duran replies, “after all, if I know Grappler, and I do, he’s going to lose this advantage quite quickly. He’s a choker like that.”

With Williams down, Grappler sits him up and wraps his left arm around his neck, while using his right hand to press against Danny’s forehead, executing a doushime sleeper hold!

“LET’S – GO – DAN – E!” *clap – clap – clap-clap-clap*

The fans are quick to chant for Deathwish, hoping to fuel his fire and get him out of the sleeper hold. Danny himself tries to fight the move, but his actions become less and less frequent as the hold is applied longer. Danny’s head simply slumps down, as he looks completely out. Matthews tells Nick Soapdish to check for the submission, and the referee obliges.

He lifts the arm up once…

…and it drops!

The arm goes up a second time…

…it falls again!

Williams’ arm is raised for the third and final time…

…it goes down…

…down…

…and it hits the mat! That NEVER happens in wrestling! Charlie Matthews wins by submission knockout!

Just kidding. Of course, Williams arm DOESN’T hit the canvas, and the Joe comes alive as Williams begins VIBRATING~ with an adrenaline rush! He moves his body and turns, getting up to his knees! Grappler rises to his feet to try and keep a leverage advantage, but Danny gets up to his feet as well, and again sends three elbows into Grappler’s midsection! Charlie lets go of the hold as Danny runs to the ropes, gaining momentum for a big move-

*BOOM!*

-but it’s stopped, as Matthews jumps into the air and pumps his legs around, nailing Danny right in the face with a HUGE bicycle kick! Williams falls to the mat, stunned, and Grappler drops down to hook a leg for the cover!

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“T – NOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Williams gets a shoulder up just in time, and Matthews begins to show signs of frustration!

“Our World Champion may be frustrated,” Comet begins, “but he’d better snap out of it. He just started getting on the advantage, and he can’t expect to keep an athlete like Citizen Williams down after that brief spurt of offense.”

“An athlete?” Duran questions, “more like a drug abuser. I can’t believe we haven’t seen Danny either fold up from exhaustion or go through an intense roid rage yet. That’s bound to happen sooner of later.”

“And I thought I was the only one who thought that,” laughs Riley, “say, Comet, you think we could arrange to get Duran sitting in with us every night? This is a lot of fun!”

“After I win the title, then we’ll talk,” Duran smiles.

Grappler brings Danny up to his feet and takes him by the arm, whipping him into the corner. Without hesitation, Matthews charges forward and then leaps up, bringing all of his 300 pounds crashing down on top of his opponent with a big stinger splash! As Danny stumbles out of the corner, Grappler scoops him up and pivots around, slamming him down to the mat with a quick powerslam! However, as soon as the move connects, Charlie cries out in pain, holding his right arm! As the effects from earlier in the match start to wear in, Matthews is unable to capitalize on the powerslam, and Danny slowly gets back to his feet on his own accord. Matthews tries to stop him with a left cross, but Danny blocks it and grabs a hold of his right arm, turning around and pressing it against his shoulder, using the momentum to flip Grappler over onto the mat with a judo throw! Williams keeps a hold on Matthews’ arm, which keeps the champion up in a sitting position. Danny then proceeds to lift his leg up, hitting a NASTY kick against Grappler’s arm!

*SMACK!*

The Detroit crowd “ooh”s at the sound of the move, and the pain on Grappler’s face. Williams backs up again…and unleashes ANOTHER kick on the arm! After this, Danny bends his arm…and drives the tip of it down against Matthews’ bicep, crushing it with an elbow!

“What FORCE!” Comet cries, “what sickening force! Those blows will do a lot more than just tighten up Citizen Matthews’ arm muscles.”

“Thank you for that comment,” Riley replies, “Anyway, I haven’t seen such ingenuity from Danny Williams in a long time; I guess he deserves some kind of kudos.”

“I wonder,” Duran begins, “if he could keep doing those until Grappler’s arm broke. It probably wouldn’t take too long, and it’d be really, really convenient.”

Instead of going for the cover, Williams pulls the arm back and traps it in an armbar, before wrapping his other arm around Matthews’ neck and surprising the champion with the BUFFALO SLEEPER HOLD! The crowd roars as the move is again applied out of nowhere, this time with Matthews away from the ropes!

“DAN – E!”

The pain running through Matthews’ arm is excruciating, but he can’t even supply much oxygen to it, as the rear chinlock is cutting off the air flow to the rest of his body!

“And just like that,” Comet starts, “this match could be over! As I’ve said, the Buffalo Sleeper is deadly, and with all the work done on Matthews’ arm, we could see a submission!”

“It’d actually be in Matthews’ best interests to tap out,” Riley points out, “after all, this is non-title, and he’s going to need all the feeling in his arm he can get when he goes up against Johnny here at Battleground.”

“Whether his arm is broken or not, I’ll still rip it off and beat him with it,” Duran says sadistically (and a bit unrealistically, but who’s counting?).

Matthews is fading fast, but even with all the support for Williams, many of the Motor City fans begin chanting for the champion!

“GRA – PULL – ER!”

“DAN – E!”

“GRA – PULL – ER!”

The very split crowd cheers for both men, but Grappler shows no signs of life as the Buffalo Sleeper is executed to perfection by Deathwish Danny Williams. Finally, Soapdish goes to check on Matthews, just as he did before with Danny, raising his left arm up into the air for the submission!

It drops for the first time!

The arm is raised again…

…and again, it falls to the mat!

It goes up for the third time…

“GRA – PULL – ER!”

The chants for Matthews reach their peak, and it’s as if this triggers something deep inside of the monster, as he DOESN’T let his arm fall for the third time! Though his breath is short and his arm is short of snapping, Matthews uses his left arm to start pushing off the mat, and he gets onto his knees! Williams rises to his feet and uses this leverage to keep the champ on his knees, but, using his head, Grappler sends his left arm back and wraps it around Danny’s left leg, pulling hard enough to sweep the leg back, causing Williams to fall backwards with Charlie right on top, in a pinning predicament!

“ONE!”

”TWO!’

“THREEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Danny kicks out just in time, forced to release the hold to get his shoulder up!

“Smart counter wrestling by Charlie Matthews!” Comet commends, “he knew that if Williams was in a pinning predicament, he’d have to let go of the Buffalo Sleeper to kick out!”

“But it’s too late, Comet!” Riley replies, “Charlie’s arm is DESTROYED, and he ain’t bouncing back from anything now!”

Grappler rolls off of Danny right into the corner, nursing his arm and catching his wind. Williams, meanwhile, is as pissed as a Belgian waffle (believe me, they get pretty pissed), kicking the ropes and shouting at Nick Soapdish. Nevertheless, he walks over to the corner and draws Matthews out of it, standing behind him and again wrapping his arm around his neck, pulling the arm back…but no! Grappler is able to spin out of the Buffalo sleeper and stand behind Danny, ducking under his left arm and lifting him into the air diagonally, before falling back and DRILLING Deathwish with his own BACKDROP DRIVER!

“Hey, neck snapping works!” Duran muses, looking for anything that could possibly end either man’s career.

Williams folds over from impact, but Grappler slowly crawls over to him and rolls him over, falling on top for a pin as Nick Soapdish counts!

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!”

NO! WILLIAMS GETS THE SHOULDER UP AT 2.999! The Joe crowd is almost (almost) in SHOCK over the kick out, and cheer vociferously! Charlie, meanwhile, rises and pulls Danny up with his left arm, before trapping him in a front facelock and signaling for the MOST devastating alarm clock in SWF history, THE WAKE UP CALL! With his right arm he reaches down and grabs Williams’ tights, before lifting…no, his right arm gives out! Grappler cries out as he shakes some feeling back into his tentacle (okay, bad metaphor), but Williams uses this time to duck behind Charlie and wrap his arms around him in a waistlock, before using all of his strength to arch back and send the champion up and over with a DANGEROUS RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

“Oooooooooooooh!” Comet agrees with the fans, “what a SICKENING suplex by Citizen Williams! Charlie Matthews is folded like an accordion!”

“That almost made me a fan of Danny Williams,” Duran notes, “…well, okay, not really, but I appreciate his gratuitous head dropping skills.”

Williams crawls over to Matthews, and lands on top of him, hooking his leg for Nick Soapdish, and the Joe Louis Arena fans to count the pin!

“ONE!”

”TWO!”

“THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!”

He got him!

No he didn’t! Matthews BARELY, and I mean BARELY gets the shoulder up! That shoulder was so BARELY, one could mistaken it for BARLEY! Williams’ eyes can be likened to saucers, as he is in shock over the transpired events. Still, he gets to a vertical base and moves to the opposite corner of Matthews, shouting at him to get to his feet! The champion is slow, very slow to get up, but he uses the turnbuckle to expedite the process. When Grappler gets to his feet, Deathwish lets out a battle cry, and he charges across the ring towards Matthews! Three quarters across the ring he LEAPS into the air, swinging his bent arm around for the DAMNDEST jumping elbow smash anyone has ever seen…but CHARLIE SIDESTEPS IT! Williams crashes against the turnbuckle, and with his opponent literally on the ropes, Grappler ducks under his left arm and, using only strength from HIS left arm, the champion lifts Danny up, twists around, and drops to his knees, dropping Williams down ON HIS NECK with a KNEELING BLUE THUNDER POWERBOMB!

“Merciful Zeus!” Comet proclaims, “that was absolutely SICKENING, and DEADLY! Danny Williams may be knocked out cold!”

“Damn it,” mutters Duran, “what happened to his arm snapping?”

Grappler holds onto the pin as Nick Soapdish, and the entire Detroit crowd counts along with the pin!

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Williams kicks out!

…but it’s too late!

*DING DING DING!*

The crowd EXPLODES as “Some Kind of Monster” kicks in again, and Funyon makes the official announcement!

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST, THE S – W – F HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, CHAAAAAAAAAARLIE ‘GRAPPLER’ MAAAAAAAAAATTHEWSSSSSSSSSS!!!!”

Duran throws down his headset in frustration, as Matthews rolls off of Williams and onto his back. Danny himself is unmoving on the mat.

”What a MATCH!” Comet exclaims, “and what a victory for Charlie Matthews, defeating the veteran Williams with a move that one would expect from Deathwish!”

“This is ridiculous,” Riley adds, “I mean, it’s bad enough seeing two guys I *hate* fight it out, but to see, of all people, GRAPPLER get the win…someone, get me a bucket.”

Nick Soapdish walks over to pick Matthews’ World Championship belt out of the corner…but it’s snatched away by John Duran! The fans begin jeering mercilessly as the Notorious One slides under the bottom rope and enters the ring, World Title belt in hand. Matthews’ finally gets to his feet, and as he does, John charges and swings the belt, nailing Grappler right in the forehead with the twenty pounds of gold!

*CRAAAACK!*

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Grappler collapses to the mat, and Duran simply raises the World Title belt above his head, showing it to everyone in the Joe Louis Arena.

“My GOD!” Comet cries, “Duran almost decapitated Citizen Matthews with that belt shot! Could this be an omen? Could we have a new World Champion at Battleground?”

“Of course we will, Comet! John Duran, the future of the SWF, the leader of the Unnamed, and the man who will utterly DESTROY Charlie Matthews at Battleground! Folks, enjoy that image, for Cyclone Comet, I’m Bobby Riley, and bow down to the Unnamed!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The SWF

“Raising workrate by typing faster just hours before the deadline.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April 10, 2004

Regarding your match Kibs... I had a rather hard time as your matches were very close. Thoth can vouch that it took me awhile to come to a final decision.

First, where I thought your match was better. First of all, the ending was tons better in my eyes, if for no reason other than you don't make someone tap out to a figure 4 in their return match. For shame, Rando. Second of all, you did a much better job with the back psychology than Rando did with his knee psychology, which wasn't established soon enough.

However, as usual Rando's descriptives, atmosphere, commentary, and sequences were top notch. Yours were good as well, but you had some signs of ring rust which i think should be gone in two matches or so.

All in all I was very impressed with your match. Judging from what I have read, I think you honest-to-god have a shot at finally getting the world title.

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