SWF Smarkdown - April 19th~!

[the.weej 0]

Tom Flesher sits in his locker room on the small couch in front of a coffee table and a ring monitor. He wears a long-sleeved Superior One rugby shirt and a pair of jeans, and leans forward. He props his elbows on his knees as he pulls a Camel Turkish Royal from the pack in front of him.

 

“Ann Onita,” he says as he lights the cigarette, “I’m not sure if you know what happened on Lockdown. Maybe I should clear up a few things.”

 

He takes a drag on the cig, exhaling a cloud of smoke. His cold blue eyes show no emotion, and his face is stone. He doesn’t look ashamed of himself, or particularly proud. His tone is even, and despite his usual touch of arrogance, he seems to be totally devoid of feeling.

 

“First of all, Ann, is the most glaringly obvious point. You weren’t carrying your weight. I know that and you know that. The fans knew that. Allison knew that. They could tell as soon as we got into the ring. I was the one doing all the work, Ann. You remember what it was like working out together before the matches. You didn’t have the work ethic you needed to keep up with me, and so I had to take charge and up the intensity in the practice room. I had to coach you on timing and how to work in a tag team, and you resented me for that. When we got into the ring, you insisted on wrestling your own match, and I suffered for it.” Tom takes another hit off his cigarette. “When we lost to Maddix and Royal, I knew things were going to get worse before they got better. If you’d just listened to me and to Allison, you wouldn’t have gotten caught.”

 

Flesher ashes his cigarette into the ashtray, then leans back. He crosses his arms across his chest and continues in his measured tones.

 

“I thought I’d give you a second chance. I know that I’m good enough to take Janus and Aecas singlehandedly, and I assumed you’d be able to deal with a rookie and a guy who’s never quite been able to get off the ground. You proved me wrong again, Ann. That just goes to show the old saying… fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I could tell early in the match that you were going to fool me again, but I stuck it out until the last minute. I could see it in your eyes when you were trying to tag out to me that you didn’t really mean it, Ann, and that’s why I walked out on you. You hit one Drop Kiss and think I’m going to go in there and clean up after you? That’s just bad policy, and you know it.”

 

Flesher drags again, exhaling another cloud of smoke. He continues staring at the camera.

 

“But I knew right from the start that this wasn’t going to work out. You’ve never made an effort to forget what happened in the Magnificent Seven, I understand that. I know that you felt like I treated you as subhuman, when I was just trying to motivate you. You thought I was somehow treating you as less than a contributing stable member, when I treated you just as well as I would have treated Judge, Ejiro or Fugue if they’d pulled the kind of crap you did. As it was, Ann, they were the valuable members of the stable, and so they got rewarded. If you can’t see past that, I’m sorry, but I can’t be expected to compensate for your inabilities.”

 

“It’s unfortunate what’s happened to us, Ann, but you can’t blame me for it. It was your fault we lost each of those matches. It was your fault you didn’t get top billing in the Magnificent Seven. It’s going to be your fault that Charlie Matthews gets a check in the Loss column tonight.”

 

Flesher takes one final drag, then carefully stubs out his cigarette in the ashtray.

 

“You have no one to blame but yourself.”

[the.weej 0]

Card:

 

TRIPLE-THREAT OF DEATH!!

Austin Sly vs. Jacob Helmsley vs. Edward James

Three directionless foes face off in hopes of finding direction! A single chance to rise above the “no-showing curtain-jerker” status, it is highly advised that they all write and write to WIN!!

Rules: First pinfall or submission wins. No Count-outs, no DQ, but don’t go too crazy with that.

 

Exciting Singles Match of Epic Proportions!!

Tryst vs. Crow

Two men coming off of disappointing losses, one has to wonder if they’re living up to their full potential!! But tonight, one of them will have a chance to bounce back!! Will it be Tryst, who showed one buttload of potential when he returned to the SWF last Lockdown, or will it be Crow, who – after suffering a loss at the hands of Dace Night last show – really needs to get back on the horse and take home a “W” tonight?? You’ll have to wait and find out!!

Rules: Typical singles match rules. Excitement!!

 

TAAAAAAAAAAG TEAM EXTRAVAGANZA!!

“Coyote” Coy West and Alan Clark vs. The House of Todd

Todd hates Coy!! Coy hates Todd!! Alan hates Landon!! Landon hates Alan!! Todd loves Landon!! Landon loves Todd!! Coy and Alan love each other by default because they each hate a member of a tag team and so it’s only logical!! …Can anyone find a reason for all of them NOT to do battle!?

Rules: Typical tag match. The way it should be.

 

Two Winners Face Off So One of Them Can LOSE!!

“La Sensation Senegalaise” Said vs. Toxxic

Very little is known about this new “Said” fellow, but what IS known is that he debuted in excellent fashion on Lockdown, picking up a win with the help of Chris Card!! Now that he has an SWF contract, can he continue his winning streak by defeating one of the most impressive up-and-coming stars in the entire federation!?

Rules: Normal singles match because I <3 them.

 

Stable Mates Go Hardcore!!

Dace Night vs. Aecas

It is said that Aecas is the #1 Contender for the Hardcore Title, and will probably be facing Toxxic at the upcoming PPV!! But, since the SWF bookers are eVil and like to make best friends kill eachother for their amusement… Aecas’ warm-up will be none other than the Horrorcore King himself, Dace Night!! Oof!!

Rules: Hardcore, anything goes… hopefully after this Dace can have a break from all of this violence shenanigans, as I’m sure that by now he’s quite sick of hardcore matches.

 

TAG TEAM TITLES YEEEEAH!! LADDER STYLEZ!!

Wild & Dangerous vs. The In Crowd

Wild and Dangerous never got a chance to regain their tag titles… but now that they’re in the hands of new champions… well, all for the better!! These two have some unfinished business with their former ally, Mike Van Siclen, anyway, and seeing as how he has their gold… all the more reason to kill him!! Oh, and because this card is nearly gimmick-free and all of these guys like to jump on eachother, it’s a ladder match. Huzzah.

Rules: …It’s a ladder match. C’mon, figure it out.

 

Two Badasses Kick Eachother’s… Uhm, Badasses!

Janus vs. Nathanial Kibagami

Nathan is awesome and everything, and he’s aiming really high who-he-wants-to-kill-wise, but he sure does lose a lot!! Hopefully by booking him up against an unstoppable monster… well, who knows what we’re trying to achieve!! Make us proud and win, Kibsy!!

Rules: Again, normal singles match. Man is this card gimmick-free or what.

 

Feuds Abound In Tag Team Action!!

”The Superior One” Tom Flesher and “Notorious” John Duran vs. “Grappler” Charlie Matthews and Ann Onita

Don’t we all love Pay-Per-View hype? There’s so many things going on here between these four… well, if I explained it all, your head would explode, and – well – this is a new shirt. The PPV is coming up… who will be going in with the upper hand??

Rules: Standard Tag Rules. Yeeeeah.

[the.weej 0]

SWF Smarkdown explodes with a radiance of energy as the camera zooms around the arena. The fans get on their feet and cheer, holding up their own little cardboard signs. "Luchador had my baby!", "The Antichristian Phenom" and "What the fuck?" are all seen. The camera zooms around the ring and then over to the announcers table.

 

"Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another exciting episode of SWF Smarkdown! Riley here as always with my commentary partner Cyclone Comet." says Riley.

 

"Don't I usually do the opening introductions?" asks Comet.

 

"Yeah but you suck at them you masked freak," Riley fires back. "Besides... this is the last show before Battleground! It's about time we start showing a little professional atmosphere around here. Why don't you take that mask off?"

 

"Never!" shouts Comet.

 

"Come on, you look stupid in it. Give it up already."

 

"Why don't you go tell that to citizen Rickmen and see how he feels?" quips Cyclone.

 

"Why don't you just introduce our first match?" Riley fires back with a snotty attitude.

 

"Gladly. Our first match of the night is sure to be a thriller citizens as three men face off in the squared circle; Austin Sly, Jacob Helmsley, and Edward James. These three young men, none of who have even broken thirty, would like nothing more than to walk out of here tonight with another win." proclaims Cyclone.

 

"Don't forget that Sly and Helmsley are no strangers to each other either. Sly had his debut match and his first win against Jacob last week." says Riley, playing the antagonist.

 

"Yes. These two are already building a history with each other. They might want to put their differences aside though if they plan on defeating the physical specimen that is Citizen James."

 

"Now hold on," snidely replies Riley, "I wouldn't give too much credit to the rookie here. Both Helmsley and Sly have more in-ring experience than James, and neither one is a stranger to pain. Remember, it took two steel pipe shots to the head to put Helmsley down last week."

 

"Well looks like our match is about to get underway. We'll just have to find out for ourselves Bobbo."

 

A cooling blue light engulfs the arena as the sound of an acoustic guitar fills the air. It’s a powerful, driving riff. Austin emerges from the back with a calm strut. The lights in the arena get more violent and start to swirl as he stretches his neck and arms at the top of the stage.

 

"The following match is a triple threat match and is scheduled for one fall," begins Funyon. "Making his way to the ring from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing in at 230 pounds, Austin Sly!"

 

The fans boo Austin slightly as he walks down to the ring deliberately ignoring the fans around it. When he arrives at ringside he jumps up onto the apron and hooks his arm on the top rope before looking around the arena vaguely. He climbs in through the middle ropes and walks to the far turnbuckle where he leans and waits for his first opponent.

 

Everything has been said before

There's nothing left to say anymore

When it's all the same

You can ask for it by name

 

The opening lines of "This Is The New Shit" by Marilyn Manson hits as Jacob Helmsley emerges from the back with steel pipe in hand followed closely by his new manager Joseph Corbin who is dressed in a full Armani suit.

 

"Making his way to the ring from Calgary, Alberta, Canada; weighing in at 227 pounds, Jacob Helmsley!" says Funyon.

 

Jacob makes his way up the ring steps and into the ring while Joseph stands at ringside clapping. Jacob enters the ring with steel pipe still in hand as he points it across the ring at Austin. Austin wants no part of this though as he motions for Helmsley to put the pipe down. Jacob starts to walk toward Austin, but Austin is cautious and slides beneath the bottom rope and refuses to get back into the ring before Jacob gets rid of his coat and pipe. Helmsley agrees and hands his coat and pipe off to Joseph.

 

The lights go out completely in the arena leaving Helmsley standing alone in the ring staring up the ramp and Sly standing outside the ring on the apron. The words "an overwhelming symbol of power" echo throughout the arena over the now cheering fans. The lights shoot back on though as Helmsley is dumped over the top rope by Sly. Funyon quickly flees the ring.

 

DING DING DING

 

"Well it looks like Edward James isn't even going to get a proper entrance here." Chuckles Riley.

 

Sly follows Helmsley out of the ring as James continues his slow decent down the ramp. Sly tries to put some early pressure on Helmsley as he lands right hand after right hand to his temple. After he has Jacob knocked a little off balance, Austin quickly turns his attention to Edward who has now made it to ring side. However, Austin is quickly met with a belly to belly suplex that lands him hard on the ramp and gets a gasp from the crowd. Sly grasps at his back while laying on the ramp. James turns his attention away only to be met with a boot to the gut from a recovered Helmsley who then rolls his larger opponent into the ring. Helmsley follows him in. The two quickly lock up, but it doesn't last long as James comes out with the obvious power advantage and delivers a foot to the gut of Jacob. James brings Helmsley back up to an upright position before delivering a hard knife edge chop to his chest. Helmsley reels around clutching his chest, but when James tries to turn Helmsley back around to deliver another knife-edge chop, he's met with a thunderous right hand. James falls to the mat surprised, and when he gets back up, he receives another right hand for his troubles.

 

"That's how you keep a big man down, citizens." Cyclone comments.

 

Edward learns quickly though as he blocks Helmsley's third punch attempt with an arm drag that sends his opponent down to the mat. James doesn't waste any time as he quickly pulls Helmsley back up to his feet and fires him across the ring with an Irish whip. Jacob bounces off the ropes and comes back across the ring at James. He's met with a surprise though as Helmsley jumps and brings a high knee into his face, flooring the bigger man.

 

"He didn't see that one coming I bet" Quips Riley.

 

Helmsley tries to keep James down with sharp kicks to his side. Between kicks though, James manages to shift himself closer and closer to the ropes, which he uses to pull himself back up. Helmsley goes to Irish whip James across the ring, but it's reversed. Edward then ducks an attempted clothesline and hits a falling neck breaker that leads to our first attempt at a pin!

 

One!

 

Two!

 

And a kick out!

 

Edward lumbers back to his feet pulling Jacob back up with him. Edward quickly locks back up with him and hits a snap suplex, wearing at the neck of Jacob Helmsley. Edward pulls Helmsley back to his feet again, and once again hits a snap suplex bringing him down on his neck and back. Edward pulls Helmsley to his feet yet again, but this time Helmsley surprised Edward and sends him across the ring with an Irish whip. This doesn't work out so well for Helmsley though as he gets grounded again with a hard clothesline.

 

"Jacob Helmsley might be the more experienced of the two in the ring today, but right now it looks like the rookie is teaching him a thing or two." chuckles Riley.

 

"I thought you didn't like Citizen James, Bobbo?" asks Cyclone.

 

"Where'd you get that idea from?" responds Riley.

 

"He just doesn't seem to match your style." Cyclone mumbles.

 

Helmsley stays down for a few seconds, but James is more than happy to help him back to his feet again. It's easy to see that the rookie feels he has control of the match with his swagger in the ring. He lines Helmsley up, and snap suplexes him toward the ropes. James climbs back up along with Helmsley, who seems a little disoriented by his position in the ring.

 

"That's three snap suplexes. Must be his favorite move or something citizens." Cyclone remarks simply to antagonize Riley.

 

Yet again, Edward lines up for a snap suplex. He quickly locks his grip on Jacob, but when he lifts up suplex him, he's met with great resistance! Jacob starts to fight back with an elbow to his opponent’s temple, followed quickly by two more. Edward whips around trying to protect his face from any further injury, this however opens an opportunity for Jacob to lock on a full nelson. Jacob quickly lifts Edward up and brings him back down hard with a full nelson slam. Helmsley tries for the pin.

 

One!

 

Two!

 

Kick out after two!

 

"Neither man seems to be making any headway here." quips Riley.

 

Austin finally makes his way into the ring after his hard landing on the ramp. He stands at the ropes waiting for Helmsley to climb off of James. Once Helmsley stands up, he turns around to a super kick from Sly. But he was prepared for it as he blocks the kick and shoves it around. Austin gets all twisted up and stumbles backwards into Jacob's waiting arms to which he receives a German suplex!

 

"There's an unfortunate turn of events for Citizen Sly." Cyclone comments.

 

Sly is quick to get back to his feet, but so is Helmsley as he delivers a clothesline to Austin to knock him back down to the mat. He tries for a quick cover.

 

One!

 

No! James quickly breaks up the pin.

 

"Doesn't look like the rookie wants to lose that way." Riley comments inquesitly.

 

Austin quickly exits the ring again as James pulls Helmsley to his feet. Helmsley quickly breaks James' hold on him and puts a knee into his stomach. Helmsley quickly shoves James back into the corner, before Irish whipping him across the ring to the other corner.

 

"Corner to corner, I like that." quips Cyclone.

 

"Yeah... okay..." Riley replies confused.

 

Helmsley comes running in after him and hits a devastating gore in the corner. James comes stumbling out of the corner only to receive a kick to the stomach followed quickly by an evenflow DDT.

 

"This could be over here!" Cyclone yells.

 

Helmsley covers James and hooks the leg.

 

One!

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

Thr No! Austin pulls Jacob off of Edward and out of the ring to break up the pin. The crowd starts to get all over Austin for breaking up the pin, yelling and booing him. Jacob quickly tries to get all over Austin too, but he turns and runs away. Jacob gives chase around the ring.

 

"Citizen Sly sure seems to run a lot." comments Cyclone.

 

"I think it's to keep in shape mostly." replies Riley.

 

Austin rolls back into the ring and runs across it, ducking a clothesline from Edward. Jacob however isn't lucky enough to see it coming as he gets sent down hard. James tries for the pin.

 

One!

 

Two!

 

Kick out before three!

 

James rolls off of Jacob and takes a defensive stance, trying to rethink his mode of action. Helmsley slowly pulls himself back to his feet, eyes locked on the rookie.

 

"What's citizen Sly doing here?" comments Comet.

 

Austin Sly decides to re-enter himself in the match by climbing the corner turnbuckles. He perches on the top turnbuckle waiting for Edward to turn to face him. When Edward finally turns his attention away from Jacob he turns to see Austin come off the top rope looking to hit Edward with a body press. Unfortunately for Austin though, Jacob has a quick enough reaction time to catch Austin in air and turn around and use his momentum against him and slam him down on the mat.

 

"I don't think that's what citizen Sly was going for there, Bobbo." remarks Comet.

 

"Well sometimes you've got to take a risk to win a match and the risk just didn't pay off here." replies Riley.

 

"You've got that right. It doesn't look like he's getting up too fast either." Comet quips.

 

Austin slowly staggers back to his feet right between Jacob and Edward, only to receive a hard right hand from Edward.

 

"One!"

 

Sly's body jerks back and around only to receive another hard right hand from Helmsley.

 

"Two!"

 

He receives another hard right hand from James.

 

"Three!"

 

And another right hand from Jacob, this one sends him toppling out of the ring between the two center ropes though.

 

"Four!"

 

Jacob quickly clotheslines Edward to keep control of the pace of the match.

 

"Well that wasn't fair to Austin! This is supposed to be a triple threat match not a handicap one!" shouts Riley.

 

Helmsley pulls James up by his hair before sending a hard right hand to the face of his opponent. James reels back a little ways, but quickly comes back with a hard right hand of his own sending Helmsley reeling back a little ways. Helmsley comes right back swinging though... only to have his punch ducked by the rookie. James wraps Helmsley's arm behind his neck and picks him up, nailing a picture perfect back body drop.

 

"He's got a lot of finesse for a rookie, eh Bobbo?" quips Cyclone.

 

"He's still a rookie though and I think it's his own mistake that's going to take him out of the match." replies Riley.

 

James quickly pulls Helmsley back to his feet, before trying to send him back down with a right hand. Helmsley blocks it though and sends James down with a knife edge chop. Edward climbs back to his feet only to get sent down again with another knife-edge chop. Edward pulls himself up again, and receives another knife-edge chop and another. Edward staggers back up and gets sent across the ring with an Irish whip. He bounces back off the ropes toward Jacob. James gets sent to the mat with a spine buster from his opponent. Helmsley backs away, stalking his opponent.

 

"This doesn't look too good for citizen James. Citizen Helmsley seems to have him right where he wants him." comments Cyclone.

 

"Yeah... what'd I just tell you? It's over here, there's no doubt about that in my mind." replies Riley.

 

James is slow to climb to his feet after the clothesline. Helmsley kicks James in the stomach causing him to fold over. Helmsley grabs James' arms as he walks behind him and wraps his arms around his back pulling him back up to a standing position setting him up for the Black Stallion!

 

"If he hits this it's all over!" shouts Riley.

 

Jacob hits the Black Stallion and holds the bridge for the pin!

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Austin breaks it up with a kick to Jacob's ribs.

 

"No! The match goes on!" shouts Comet.

 

Jacob rolls over and away from Edward. Austin quickly pulls Jacob to his feet and sends him into the corner with an Irish whip. Austin moves Jacob out of his ways and climbs to the second corner, holding onto Jacob's head in a headlock position. Austin jumps off the turnbuckle putting his entire weight into a Tornado DDT. Helmsley slams down hard onto the mat landing parallel to the ropes. Sly runs to the ropes jumping onto the middle rope, coming off of it with the Sky Surfer! Austin hangs on for the pin.

 

"Is this it?"

 

One!

 

"This can't be!"

 

Two!

 

"It's over!"

 

Three!

 

"We have a winner!" Cyclone comments throughout. "Citizen Sly has picked up his second win over Citizen Helmsley in the past week! This relative newcomer is on a roll!"

 

"He has potential, but can he reach it?" comments Riley.

 

Austin quickly rolls out of the ring and raises his right arm in victory. He backs up the ramp, looking at Helmsley laying on his back in the ring for the second time in a week.

[the.weej 0]

SWF Smarkdown is back on the air, and that usually means that there's a match coming up! But as we pan around the arena to look at the yelling fans, there's a distinct lack of action going on. The camera quickly scrolls down to the announce table, where Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley sit, both looking grave. The spandex-clad superhero nods to the camrea.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, our next match was to be Citizen Crow vs Citizen Tryst, but neither man seems particularly interested in wrestling tonight." Comet says sadly.

 

"Both of them showed at the arena, but they were being lazy bastards and didn't want to wrestle, so Zenon sent them out here to get some punishment!"

 

Because the duo aren't prepared to wrestle, they don't even get proper introductions, because of their lack of respect for showing up and wrestling. Crow gets a low-quality, badly ripped version of Britney Spears, "Oops, I Did It Again", while some smart-alecky bugger in the back has swapped Tryst's theme for what sounds like Wheatus' "Teenage Dirtbag." The fans cover their ears at the song, and in the back, one widely grinning Hell Machine enjoys pushing buttons.

 

"This is Crow and Tryst, and this was MEANT to be a wrestling match!" Funyon announces. "But both of these horribly lazy bastards don't want to wrestle, and so Commissioner Zenon has claimed to reach across time and space for their punishment!"

 

"The question is, what type of punishment, Bobby?" Comet wonders.

 

"Your cruel device...

Your blood, like ice...

One look could kill...

My pain, your thrill!"

 

As Alice Cooper's "Poison" rips out of the speakers, there's a sound like lightning striking. Green and purple smoke boils up in the entranceway, parted only by an advancing figure. Dressed in a black catsuit, with long black hair and rather ferret-weasel-esque features, stands the creature known as Ebony. She idly inspects her claws on the way down to the ring, while the crowd watches in stunned shock.

 

"What on earth IS that thing, Comet?"

 

"I think it's... what do they call them...? A furry."

 

"I really hope that's a suit."

 

"Given the way she nearly took a bite out of that poor fan who nearly touched her chest, I don't think it is, Robert."

 

"It could be worse." Riley sighs.

 

"True. We could be treated to live-action Nemesis. Or Suma."

 

The announcers, the fans, and even the entering-the-ring Ebony shudder at that line. Gawking at the ferreasel, Tryst lunges forward with a shout of 'fiend!' and gets bitchslapped right across the face. Ebony calmly slaps Tryst around a bit more, and then when the nutcase from Sherwood runs forward again, she just plants a soccerball style kick straight into his nuts! The crowd winces in sympathetic pain as Tryst falls to the ground, and Ebony calmly inspects her clawed toes and the drips of blood staining the canvas.

 

"Ouch." is all Riley and Comet have to say.

 

Crow, lounging in the turnbuckle, only sees Ebony from behind. Having not been paying attention, and seeing only black hair and a womanly figure, he steps forward and wraps his arms around Ebony. His hands land right on her chest, as he grins lopsidedly.

 

"Hey, baby." he chuckles.

 

Ebony stands stock still. So still you know she's probably going to blow her top.

 

"Asshole." she hisses back.

 

The mule kick she plants into the bird's nuts makes everyone wince. As Crow stumbles back in pain, she spins around and plants a kick into his jaw, sending him flying back into the turnbuckles. He slumps in a sitting position, and the ferreasel promptly grabs the ropes, then lifts her foot and begins stomping hard on the Antichrist Superstar's naughty bits!

 

*STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!*

 

Half the crowd shudders, but the feminists and lesbians in the crowd begin counting along as she stomps away, ignoring Crow's pitiful wails. The Antichrist Superstar is already going pale in the face, but the ferreasel shows no signs of stopping as she just stomps...and stomps...and stomps.

 

Wait, here's Tryst to break it up!

 

*DING!*

 

No, wait, she just mule-kicked his nuts with her other leg while stomping Crow's testicles into a flat and mushy heap. She finally slows down...

 

*STOMP!*

 

"FORTY TWO!"

 

*STOMP!*

 

"FORTY THREE!"

 

"She just broke the consecutive nutshot record!" Comet gasps.

 

"In-fucking-credible!" Riley responds, with one of the many uses of the word 'fuck'.

 

Ebony stomps twice more to bring the nutshot count up to an even forty-five, before she steps back and flourishes two knives. The crowd gasps, as she points them at the downed Tryst and the vomiting Antichrist Superstar, who both nod their heads as she demands that they actually show up next time. She calmly flourishes the knives and soccer-punts both Crow and Tryst in the nuts one more time, and leaves the former vomiting his guts out and the latter writhing in pain as she strolls up the ramp.

 

"Your cruel device...

Your blood, like ice...

One look could kill...

My pain, your thrill!"

 

"Poison" rips out of the speakers once more as the ferreasel strides up the ramp, with numerous EMTs heading in the other direction to get to the ring.. A trail of purple and green smoke follows her - whether she generates it herself or it's a special effect, who knows. On the ramp, she nearly collides with Alexander Zenon, who eyes her with a grin on his face. With narrow eyes, the ferreasel -nearly- punts the Interim Commissioner in the nuts too.

 

"You owe me for this." she hisses.

 

"I'll deliver the Onitas as I said, and we'll cut you some slack in the next Suma riffing. How's that?"

 

"Deal." the ferreasel nods, striding backstage.

 

Zenon simply watches with a grin a mile wide on his face as Crow and Tryst ares stretched out of the ring with severe testicular damage. Which is why one should never really no-show when your Interim Commissioner have access to a psychotic lesbian ferreasel.

 

Fade to black. Show up next time, you lazy cunts.

[the.weej 0]

==================================================

Commercial:

 

*Are you tired of having your intelligence insulted?*

 

...Kid on a couch yawning...

 

*Wanna get...educated?*

 

...Kid nods...

 

*Well then...SMARK YOUR T.V!*

 

...Kid smiles...AND GETS YAKUZA KICKED BY TOM FLESHER!!!...

 

*SWF Smarkdown...the truth...HURTS!*

 

...Kid is out cold, as Flesher grabs his popcorn bowl, and takes a huge handful while flashing a huge-ass grin at the camera...

 

====================================================

 

As the show returns from commercial, Bobby Riley and Cyclone Comet are situated at ringside as always...

 

"What the hell was that?" snaps Riley. "The old Taamo would never do something that dumb..."

 

"You're just mad they won't let you do a commercial." Comet retorts.

 

"What was the last commercial you did then, 'oh mighty' Comet?"

 

"...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...right now, we're joined backstage by Landon 'La Cucaracha' Maddix and Megan Skye..."

 

The scene switches to a split screen, with Cyclone and Riley keeping their mugs on screen while the faces of Landon and his 'perfect 10' appear on the left of the screen. The two determined Unnamed members stand glaring into the camera, with Megan just visible off to the side, as in the arena the crowd boo as the duo appear on the SmarkTron.

 

"Thank you for joining us..."

 

"No problem Whirlwind." beams Landon.

 

"It's...it's Cyclone. Cyclone Comet."

 

"Whatever..."

 

Cyclone bites his lip to avoid expletives, which is all the chance Riley needs to take over.

 

"Landon, it is GREAT to see you!" Bobbo beams. "And to have someone sane to talk to. After all, three hours of talking to this idiot night in and night out is no fun. Now, I realise you've got a 'big' match tonight against the 'Wayward Sons'. But, Landon...I've got to ask...how are you doing, after everything that happened on Lockdown."

 

"Well, personally, I feel great." Maddix again beams. "Once again I proved myself to the world by grabbing the 'W' off of Tryst. And, not to mention, that BAH-RUTAL~! superkick I gave Alan Clark. That felt mighty good, of course. The only thing that's bothering me is...maybe, just maybe, I kicked him TOO hard. You see, Alan Clark is now an Ex-Cruiserweight Champion. Which means when me and Honky Tonk Clark do battle at Battleground, it won't be for championship gold."

 

With an indignant look Landon stops, sighing slightly and shaking his head.

 

"Actually...I do have another problem. Coy West...is the USJL Champion. That hick is the man defined as representing the United States. It's ironic, I guess. People talk of the troubles America has. People complain that we need a born leader. Yet, these same people are happy with Coy West being USJL Champion, when Todd Royal would make the perfect United States representative. Then again, considering George...'Dubya'...Bush and Bill 'I'm from Arkansas, ya'll' Clinton made Presidency, it's not that much of a surprise."

 

Landon chuckles at Todd's comments, and Megan promptly follows suit.

 

"Well, as far as tonight goes..." Comet picks up. "...you and Todd are facing Coy and Alan in tag team action. And after yours and Todd's despicable actions in recent weeks towards the two, I guess you're expecting a backlash..."

 

"Desh-picable?" questions Landon. "Thanks for that, Daffy. Our actions speak for themselves Cyclone. You want to call them despicable? Fine...that's your opinion. Our opinion however is that it's what needed to be done. People like Clark and Coy need to be taught lessons...lessons taken straight from The Book of Todd. And the sooner Alan Clark and Coy West learn to be Todd-fearing citizens as they should, the sooner the lessons will end. What they seem to be failing to realise is The House of Todd is the place to be.

 

Now, I see that the two of them are 'bonding' in a run-down bus around the country recently...trying to convince people they're a team. Fact is, there isn't a better tag team in the company than myself and Todd. Annie and Taamo? Beat them. Wild and Dangerous? Phff! Janus and Aecas? More like Anus and Jackass! The In Crowd? Give me a break. There's only ONE Todd in the SWF, and his second name ain't Cortez! See...when you look at me and Todd, you are looking at two men who think as one. You are looking at a pure, out and out team. A UNIT! We have been a unit for months boys. Months. Alan Clark and Coy West have a couple of matches, realise they both suck so badly they can't even beat each other, play with some puppets, get some t-shirts...and suddenly, they're a team? Naw...naw, that isn't what makes a team. What makes a team is two SUPERIOR athletes who have near-telepathic, seamless continuity. And you don't get more continuity than the Todd, and his Disciple!"

 

 

"LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!"

 

Chants threaten to drown Landon out, but he does his best to ignore them as both Todd on one side of the screen and Riley on the other raise their eyes is disgust.

 

"Whever you like us or not, get used to us...because we're going to be on top for a LOOONG time to come!"

 

"And...your thoughts on Battleground, dare I ask?" Comet sneers.

 

"My thoughts on Battleground?" Landon quickly responds. "Me and Alan Clark, man to man one more time. Need I say more? Look, Alan...on Lockdown you walked to that ring and you tried to put across the importance of this match with your poetic language bull. Fact is, the importance speaks for itself. Landon Maddix and Alan Clark. The last two men to hold the SJL World Championship. The last two men to hold the SJL European Championship. And two men...who just plain hate each other."

 

Gone is the smug grin, as Landon is now beginning to snarl and spit in his fury.

 

"If I can do something drastic, and be serious for a moment..."

 

"Go right ahead." Riley needlessly interrupts.

 

"...myself and Alan competed in some of the most important matches the JL had seen in recent months. European Title...we went tooth and nail twice, put on two great matches, and looked to prove who the better wrestler was. Then, we went 2 out of 3 falls...same story, two guys trying to be the best they can, and putting on a great match."

 

Landon chuckles to himself momentarily, but his happy exterior may not last.

 

"But this time...it shall be different. The name says it all. "Battleground". On that Battleground, myself and Alan will not be looking to out-wrestle each other. I'll look at my flashy, world-class athletisism...and say "fuck you!" Alan will look at his flashy moves, and say "fuck you!" And we will go out...and we will engage in war. It won't be fancy. It won't be a mat classic, or a lucha-esque battle, or a puro fan's dream. It will be...a FIGHT! We will fight...we will brawl...we will go out into that arena with the attention of hurting each other. And I promise you that pain will be delivered...and blood will be shed."

 

"So, can we expect to see a different Landon Maddix?" Comet questions.

 

"You took the words right out of my mouth Gramps. Here's another promise...if you think you know anything about me, then prepare to have your illusions shattered. Alan, I've said it before...you're not the only one with a dark-side. Battleground will be a mad, mad night...but I'm a Mad, Mad...MAD...MADDIX! So Clark...Prepare for...

 

...an ass kicking..."

 

"Are you not worried by Clark?" Comet asks. "After all, you may not be facing Alan Clark. It could be Bloodshed. It cou..."

 

"It could be Doink The Clark. I wouldn't put it past the idiot. This is the way it goes...it don't matter what Alan Clark dresses like, and acts like, and talks like...all that matters is that he is no Landon Maddix. Right now, you're looking at the elite. The Unnamed are the elite...you don't become a part of The Unnamed by walking around claiming you're the best. You prove you're the best! You have the number one contender and future World Champion...you have the rightful USJL Champion...and you've got me. We didn't get where we are today by fearing people. We got there...by beating people...and that's just the way it is. Alan Clark...I've beat you before, and I will damn sure beat you again. Oh, and Clark, I give you my word...you keep that redneck buddy or yours away, and it will be just you and me. And by that...I MEAN it will be just you...and me."

 

Maddix grins, nodding to Megan before the two leave their position and Smarkdown goes to another word from it's sponsors.

[the.weej 0]

“We are back and we are LIVE here in Oakland, California!” Cyclone Comet’s voice welcomes viewers back to another sold-out edition of Smarkdown. “Up next we have a super match between two super teams!”

 

Riley seems to take offense to this even this simple comment, “How DARE you even mention those two bumbling fools in the same breath as…“

 

“…in the same breath as Coy West and Alan Clark? Sorry, but it’s my job to make these matches look even,” Comet chuckles as he cracks a simple smile, causing Riley to nearly explode in rage.

 

“NO! How can you mention West and Clark in the same breath as the House of Todd? You can’t call those two fools super! The only thing they do super is completely suck!”

 

“You may well be the expert in that field, Robert, but Citizen West is the new USJL Champion and survived two other men just last week on Lockdown!”

 

“Anybody can do that!”

 

“Well I’m glad you feel that way, because West already beat Todd Royal in his quest for that championship, and I don’t think adding two more people to the fray will change the outcome one bit!”

 

“Can you not be so blatantly biased!” Riley goes from worshipping the House straight to hypocrisy, which may or may not be in the Book of Todd, depending on who you ask. But as the two announcers continue their petty arguments, the Smarkdown cameras turn their attention to Funyon in the middle of the ring.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen…the following Tag Team Contest is scheduled for ONE FALL with a sixty minute time limit!” The loud booming voice of the SWF announcer gains the attention of everyone within ear shot, as they all turn to look toward the entranceway.

 

“Introducing first…”

 

Heavenly lights cast their radiance toward the entrance curtain as six words are heard echoing throughout the arena…

 

“Our Todd…is an awesome Toooooodd~!”

 

BOOOOOOOOO!

 

The lights suddenly fade away, before being replaced by blinding blue and white strobes and the opening riffs of AC/DC’s “Shoot To Thrill”. The crowd continues their wild, crazed boos and jeers as the House of Todd appears through the curtain, each with a huge smile on their face.

 

“Coming to the ring at this time…at a combined weight of four hundred and thirty pounds… being accompanied to the ring by Megan Skye…they are TODD ROYAL…LANDON MADDIX….

 

THE HOUSE OF TOOOOOOOOOOODD!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOO!

 

“This crowd does not know greatness when it is placed before them! They’d probably turn down gold bars for Cracker Jack!” Riley remarks towards the Oakland crowds actions as The House makes its way down the aisle all the while smiling and waving at the obviously chewed off crowd. The trio climb up to the apron with Megan Skye leading the way, who holds the ropes open for her Todd as he climbs into the ring and pulls of his sunglasses with a wink. Landon follows the example of his manager and does the gentlemanly thing for Megan and spreads the ropes wide for her entry into the ring as well. As the two original House of Todd members hold court in the ring, The Disciple follows with a hop over the top rope, landing perfectly on his feet and walking over to his allies. Looking out the crowd with the same looks of arrogance they have had the whole time, all three hold each other’s hands high in the air as the music fades to nothingness and the lights return to normal.

 

“And there opponents…”

 

The House of Todd turns their attention to the entranceway as the lights dim down once again and the thunderous refrain fills the arena.

 

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SONS…

There’ll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary heads to rest

Don’t you cry no more…

 

BOOM!

 

Two large green flares fire off into the air above the ring, signaling everyone in the building to look toward the curtain, where Coy West and Alan Clark now stand. Their bodies stay frozen and their heads down as “Carry On Wayward Son” continues to blare through the speakers all throughout the building and Funyon makes his announcement.

 

“…at a combined weight of four hundred and seventy eight pounds…they are ALAN CLARK and the SWF United States Junior League Champion “WILD” COY WEST…

 

THE WAYWARD SOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!”

 

These words bring the two men out of their frozen state, as they begin their walk to their ring, a complete look of determination in their eyes. Passing through an utter gauntlet of outstretched arms, the duo slap a few hands, but their attention is clearly placed on their opponents in the ring who have caused West and Clark no end of misery. In return, The House of Todd makes a hasty retreat to the outside as Alan and Coy hit the ring and go to the center of the ring. Each man stands back-to-back with the other their heads drop down once more…

 

BOOM!

 

Four more explosions fire off, each from a ring post around the two men. The sudden nature of it all seems to have affected the House of Todd, as they seem a little reluctant to step in the ring against opponents so ready for conflict. Huddling together, Todd and his Disciple point into the ring discussing some sort of strategy as Referee Sexton Hardcastle passes the men by and slides into the ring himself, urging the House to get into the ring and start the match. But The House of Todd do not seem all that enthusiastic as Coy and Alan stand together side-by-side in the ring. But the House of Todd did not become such a devastating force in the SWF by being complete cowards. Looking at each other in the eyes, Maddix and Royal shout at each other in order to get their spirits high for the combat to come. And so the House of Todd finally decides to enter the fray with full force and slide so hard under the bottom rope that they end up right at the feet of their opponents.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Immediately the Wayward Sons go on the offensive with a series of kicks and stomps to the unprepared House of Todd. With Coy grabbing Todd and throwing him to a corner with a series of right hands, Alan Clark drops down on Maddix and chucks right hands at his arch nemesis with anger finally unleashed. But Referee Hardcastle does not allow the brawl to rage out of control for long as he tries to regain order in the ring. Reaching around Clark as the former Cruiserweight Champion continues to pound on the covered up Maddix, Hardcastle finally managed to pull Clark off and forces him to a corner much to the dismay of the crowd. That dismay only grows as Clark tries to fight past the referee and Landon gets back to his feet relatively undamaged from the assault being stopped before it even got a chance to get off the ground. Looking at Clark with a smile, Landon turns and sees Coy as almost a sitting duck as the new USJL Champion continues to single-mindedly maul Todd Royal in a corner until Todd drops from the barrage. But as West pulls Todd right back off the ground, he is met by an attack from behind by the Disciple with a forearm to the back of the head. Together, the two members of The Unnamed hammer away at the USJL Champion and forces West’s throat over the top rope. Grabbing a hold of West’s legs, Royal pulls them up and off the canvas as Maddix runs into the ropes. Reserved to his fate, Alan finally leaves the ring and Hardcastle turns around just in time to see Landon rushing across the ring and jumping over Todd’s shoulders, bringing all his weight down onto Coy’s back with the DOT From Above! The crowds boos grow more intense as Landon exits the ring, giving Todd a heavy advantage in the early goings of the match as Coy drops down to his knees with a hand on his throat.

 

The Cyclone Comet calls out, “I have to admit, the House of Todd always shows great teamwork in the ring and right there was no exception, no matter how unethical it was.”

 

“Unethical! Clark and West attacked them before the bell! Isn’t that unethical?”

 

Riley might have a point, but Comet simply ignores him as Todd continues to simply mock the fallen USJL Champion with a number of light smacks to the back of the head. Pulling West up and off the canvas, Todd puts his hand underneath the jaw of his adversary and spits right in his face as the crowd looks on in shock at the blatant show of disrespect. Finally, Todd whips Coy into the ropes, but the Wild One simply EXPLODES off the rebound! Going air borne West nearly takes Todd’s head off with a huge clothesline that sends the obnoxious megalomaniac flipping over himself from the force! The crowd cheers as Royal falls to the canvas and Coy stays on his feet, turning right back and pulling Todd off the canvas. With another hard Irish whip, Royal hits the opposition’s corner and bounces off, momentarily stunned from the blow. West follows him in and makes a quick tag before going back at Royal, dropping him down face-first into the mat with a hard bulldog.

 

Hardcastle calls for Coy to leave the ring, and as he does Alan comes in, springing off the top rope and floating through the air, crashing down across Todd’s back with an elbow drop. The crowd cheers once more as Alan stays laid across Royal’s back, taking a moment to look across the ring and give Landon a verbal piece of his mind. Royal tries to escape from under Alan’s weight, but Clark simply gives him a right hand to the side of the head, keeping him at bay as he continues the verbal ranting toward Maddix in the corner.

 

“This is simply unsportsmen-like conduct from Alan Clark! Landon’s going to beat him to within an inch of his life as soon as he gets in the ring!” Riley calls out.

 

And sure enough, Landon bursts through the ropes and into the ring, clocking Alan with a hard kick before he can do anything to block the shot. Landon begins to lay down his own verbal beat down as Hardcastle tries to escort the Disciple back to his corner. But it seems as though the only thing he has done was distracting the referee, as Alan is back to his feet in no time simply steaming at the sucker punch. And so, as Sexton is turned around, West leaps into the ring next to his partner and slaps his hands together to simulate a tag before both he and Clark combine to lift Todd off the canvas and drop him back down to the canvas with a double body slam! Turning back around as Maddix and Skye scream about the illegal nature of the move, Hardcastle questions the legality of the exchange as Coy simply shrugs off the question.

 

Cyclone Comet notes the condemnation of the official, “See, Robert…Citizen Hardcastle knows what he is doing.”

 

“Don’t give me that! He’s not doing a damn thing about the illegal exchange!” Riley continues to complain as Coy tags Alan once more.

 

“Well now its back to normal then,” adds The Comet as Alan steps back into the ring. “It seems West and Clark are setting something up here…”

 

And sure enough as Todd is lifted off his feet and onto Coy’s shoulders, who spins him around like a top before dropping him back down with his back towards the waiting Alan Clark. Immediately making his move, Alan catches the dizzy Todd in his grasp with a waistlock and pulls him off his feet once more, dragging Royal over his head before slamming him down with a hard German release suplex!

 

“What a move that was! Citizen Royal could be seeing stars!” Comet exclaims as Coy exits the ring once more, and Landing high on his shoulders, Todd looks like the human equivalent of an accordion until Alan quickly goes for a cover…

 

ONE!

 

 

TW—NO!

 

“Praise Todd! Alan Clark had to know that he couldn’t keep Royal down with a pitiful suplex like that!” Riley comments.

 

“Well, Citizen Cockroach did have to save him,” adds The Cyclone Comet as Landon again makes his presence known in the match, catching Clark completely off guard as he blindsides him with a kick to the back if the head.

 

Before Sexton can do anything to stop him, Landon grabs Royal by the legs and begins dragging him across the canvas on his back, trying desperately to get him closer to his corner before being sent out of the ring. All of this action brings West back into the equation, as he comes back into the ring and punches Maddix down before taking Royal by the arms and moving him back where he was as the crowd laughs out loud from the sight.

 

“They are treating Todd Royal like nothing but bad furniture in that ring right now!” Comet chuckles to himself, causing a gasp from Riley (but no more) as Sexton tries to regain order, shouting at Coy and Landon to exit the ring.

 

Alan is back up, however, and makes another quick tag to West, and the two men push Todd back to a neutral corner and whip him across the ring with a double Irish whip. Backing into the corner, Coy allows his own partner to send him across the ring with another whip so West can crush Royal underneath a huge corner clothesline! But as West backs away after the blow, Maddix finds another opening to save his master and takes it as he runs down the apron and smashes Coy across the back of the head with a clothesline of his own!

 

WHAM!

 

Ignoring the complaints of the referee, Maddix falls toward his corner as Alan Clark steps into the ring to protest the illegal strike to his partner. But his complaints fall on deaf ears as Hardcastle ushers him right back out of the ring as Royal uses the top rope to glide his way down the ring and to The House’s corner. Finally bringing Maddix back into the ring, the damaged Royal drops down to the floor to receive the loving care of his manager as the crowd groans at the spectacle. But what is of more importance is that Maddix is now taking the measure of the United States Champion with a series of hard kicks and punches to the back of the head as the commentary team talks about this change in fortune.

 

Bobby Riley rants happily, “Coy West made a big mistake there! He put himself in range of Landon and in perfect position for a blindside attack and the House of Todd took huge advantage of it!”

 

“Well it goes without saying that Coy West isn’t exactly an accomplished tag team wrestler. Nobody was expecting these two to come out here tonight and be the next Justice and Rule!”

 

“Duh, Comet…Coy West will never be confused for Ejiro Fasaki in that ring!” Riley’s comment draws a look of confusion from Comet, but it is quickly dismissed as Landon pulls Coy out of the corner and to his feet.

 

Whipping Coy off the ropes, Landon tries to take his opponent down with a clothesline only to have West duck the blow and come off the ropes yet again. But as Coy turns around his face is given the Reebok stamp of approval by way of a huge dropkick from Maddix. Instantly swarming onto West again, The Disciple pulls his right leg off the mat and jams a knee right into the back of Coy’s calf. Clutching at the limb, Coy betrays the fact that the limb is still suffering from the damage of the attack last week from Todd Royal, who is now back up on the apron and recovering from the battering he took early on as Maddix continues to strike where he can. Waiting for West to get up to his feet, Landon swings into motion yet again with a sharp kick to the back of the knee that sends the big man down once more. Coy hits the canvas hard and Landon begins to show his skill as a team player, hooking West by the ankle and dragging him back into his corner. Reaching over his shoulder, Landon makes the tag to Royal before slipping out through the ropes, holding Coy’s leg on the second rope as he goes through.

 

The two men seem to work like a Swiss clock as Todd goes airborne, hopping over the top rope and bringing all of his weight down into West’s right leg. The force of the blow immediately causing Coy to clutch at his knee as it snaps back from the ropes. The crowd boos as Todd drags Coy up, hooking his knee and lifting him off his feet. Todd shows off his deceptive power as he holds him in the air for a few seconds and looks straight over at Clark before driving West down into his knee, the shock of the blow sending West stumbling forward. Coy hits the canvas face-first, his body contorted as he tries to keep his knee from taking any more punishment. Sadly for him though, everyone in the Arena seems to know that Todd isn’t about to quit just yet. Coy is brought back up to his feet, limping heavily as he tries to make it across the ring, completely forgetting Royal for a moment, but only a moment, as Royal puts a boot into the back of West’s knee, dropping him back down. West does not stay down for long, though not his own choice, as he soon finds himself in the air once again, his upper body held over Royal’s shoulder and falling fast, as he is brought back into the House of Todd corner with a vicious back suplex. As Todd gets to his feet, he grabs at Coy’s knee and rolls him over, putting him in prime position for that patented half crab.

 

“Yes! This is what I like to see!” Riley seems jovial with excitement as he wishes that the victory were only a moment away for Royal and Maddix.

 

But luckily for the Wayward Sons, Coy is close to the ropes and he gets to them very easily. Unluckily, Landon is standing right above him, and gives his fingers a hard kick as he grabs the ropes, causing him to pull his hand back in pain. Hardcastle notices the break anyway, and yells at Landon to keep back as the hold is broken by Todd, but Coy is definitely not out of the woods yet as The House of Todd makes yet another exchange. Stepping into the ring with a jaunt, Landon flits across the ring and sucker slaps Alan across the face in order to bring the aggressive rocker into the ring. Stepping in between, Hardcastle keeps Alan from getting to his foe as The House continues to use everything they can to their advantage. And so as Landon pushes West into the corner and lifts his legs off the canvas, Todd wraps the tag chord around the throat of the USJL Champion. Finally realizing that he’s being bated, Alan retreats back out of the ring and allows the official to do his job and break up the illegal double team. Dropping West, The House allows Coy a chance to rest for a moment on the canvas as the two heels smile brightly at each other in celebration of their success. But it does not take long for Landon to move back in and pull the hobbling West up and off the canvas. Pulling him up to his shoulders, Landon dumps Coy to the canvas with a body slam and heads up to the middle turnbuckle. Looking down at West with a smile, The Disciple takes aim and tumbles forward with his summersault legdrop!

 

BUT WEST MOVES ASIDE!

 

Crashing with his spine again the mat, Maddix actually springs back up to his feet before falling right back down to the canvas!

 

“Big mistake by the Disciple of Todd!” calls out The Comet as West starts to pull himself across the canvas towards a waiting Alan Clark. “West needs to make a tag here and he needs to make it now!”

 

But Landon was indeed smart enough to keep his risky maneuvers close enough to his own corner in case of backfire. And as such, he is much closer to bringing Todd Royal back into the ring with a tag as West is still far away from his own salvation. Royal still feels the need to make the however and does so with a hard forearm drop across the back of his opponent before he is anywhere near his corner. Looking over at Clark with a grin, Todd continues to stomp down on the other half of the Wayward Sons as the crowd looks on hopeful that Coy will find a way out of this predicament and somehow make the tag. But for right now, West has a much larger problem as Royal drags him back closer to The House’s corner and goes back to attack on the leg. Stepping in between Coy’s injured leg, Royal steps into his variation of the step over toehold and begins to crank away on the joint. Looking across the ring at Alan once again, Todd winks brightly at the man across the ring as Clark glares back at his foe. But not content to simply share bad looks, Clark starts to clap his hands together time and time again in order to get the crowd behind his partner.

 

“WEST! WEST! WEST! WEST! WEST!” shouts the crowd in time with the claps of Alan Clark.

 

Gritting his teeth under the influence of the crowd, West leans up as far as he can as Royal continues to crank away with the toehold. Finally reaching out and grabbing a hold of Todd’s singlet, Coy pulls his foe into range and punches him right in the face with a right hand! Punching Royal again manages to break the hold and actually knocks Royal backward to the canvas. But when Coy tries to drag himself to his corner, he finds Royal still has his ankle caught in a scissor by the ring technician on the other side of the coin. And with his knee so damaged, Coy does not have the drive he needs to break free and instead finds himself on the wrong end of a double team as Royal tags Landon back into the match. Getting into the ring with leap over the top, Maddix is quick to attack once again with an elbow drop to the head.

 

Pressing a staggering Coy back against a corner, Maddix slams his jaw once again with a European uppercut that sends the USJL Champion strait down to his knees with the very first blow. Grabbing West by his hair, Landon pulls him back to the corner once more and slams his face against the buckle. Not pausing a moment, Maddix hops up to the middle rope and delivers a right hand to West before grabbing him in a front facelock in preparation for taking him down with a Tornado DDT. But as Landon takes to the air, West uses the last of his energy to shuck the smaller man off and toss him across the ring in a heap! Landing on his chest and face, The Disciple rises up onto his knees before falling backward to the canvas. Rising up once again, Maddix virtually dives across the ring with his last gasp to make the tag to his partner. Racing into the ring, Royal makes the move to block the escape of their prey.

 

 

 

But Coy drops backward and falls into his corner!

 

 

 

“He made the tag! Coy made the tag!”

 

Leaping over the top and into a paused Todd Royal, Clark peppers his opponent with a series of rights and lefts as Royal struggles to deal with this fresh opponent. But he doesn’t have an answer as Alan plucks him off the canvas and drills him with a reverse atomic drop before dropping him once again with a running clothesline. Keeping in motion, Alan turns about just in time to duck under a blow from the resurgent Maddix and spring back up with a sense shattering enziguri that hits Maddix right behind the ear and sends him down to the canvas! Immediately grabbing Todd once again, Alan tosses him across the ring with an Irish whip and immediately follows him in with a cartwheel followed with a springing kick to the side of the head!

 

“ONNNNNNNNE HIT WONNNNNNNDER!” shouts out The Comet as Royal stumbles out of the corner and drops down on his face before rolling out of the ring.

 

Looking to the outside, Alan makes sure he has Todd well in view before heading into the ropes back and forth twice in order to build up his momentum. Getting the momentum he needs, Alan moves into a cartwheel and springs right over the top rope with a space flying tiger drop!

 

THUD!

 

But Megan pulls Todd out of the way! Crashing against the floor, Alan seems half dead as Todd kicks him in the head just to display a bit more of his venom. Tossing Clark back inside the ring, Royal joins his partner in shaking off their cobwebs before going about their business of taking Alan Clark apart. Grabbing Clark around the waist, Royal lifts him up in the air as Maddix runs into the ropes and takes him down to the canvas once more with a Hart Attack clothesline! Immediately grabbing onto one of the fallen rocker’s legs, Royal does not waist a single moment before turning the leg over into the Wrath of Todd!

 

“It’s the dream sequence,” calls out The Cyclone Comet, “and there is only one part of it left!”

 

With Alan laid prone in the figure-four and screaming out in pain, Landon bounces off the ropes for one little piece of humiliation. Coming back to where Alan is caught in agony, Maddix stops in position and breaks into the world’s most favorite dance!

 

Y!

M!

C!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WHAT IN THE HELL?

 

Grabbed from behind Maddix looks about in shock for a moment before Coy brings him up and over his head in position for a belly-to-back suplex before JAMMING him right down on his own defenseless partner with a legdrop!

 

WHAM!

 

Destroying his own knee in the process, West falls backward into the ropes as Maddix gets up with a look of shock on his face. Quickly turning from shock to rage, Maddix charges at West only to have the USJL Champion duck out of the way and have Landon fall right over the top rope! But he still has a big problem with another man by the name of Todd Royal who is not too happy about having his own partner dropped on his head. Smashing Coy from behind with a forearm, Todd grabs the exhausted United States Champion and snags him in a full nelson in preparation for the Todd Damn dragon suplex… but there is one problem with that…

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

And its name is Alan Clark! Just as Coy ducks out of the way, Alan smashes Todd right in the face with a superkick! Quickly leaping on top, Alan hooks the leg for…

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE!

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Funyon calls into the microphone, “The winners of this match… THE WAAAAAAYWARD SONS!”

 

“NOOOOOOO!” Riley screams as Coy and Alan roll to the outside and head up the ramp, getting their hands raised as they walk backstage, leaving the House of Todd alone in the ring. The sheer electricity between the four men only seems to have grown as Comet’s voice takes viewers to commercial…

 

“This is definitely not over yet in Oakland! Stay tuned!”

[the.weej 0]

*cri-ink*

 

The empty can of Coke crumples as Toxxic clenches his fist. Drawing his arm back, the Straight-Edge Sensation lets fly at a nearby bin - only to see the metallic projectile ricochet off the wall and skitter across the corridor floor. Toxxic grimaces and takes a two-step run-up before belting the empty can hard down the corridor with his foot, sending it clattering wall-to-wall. Vaguely mollified, the Brit places one hand up to his left shoulder where the comforting weight of the Hardcore Gamer’s Title resides - and where it is met by another hand. The straight-edger turns his head and finds himself staring into the pretty face of his girlfriend, Jet.

 

“You missing playing soccer?” she asks, eyeing the now stationary can. An involuntary grimace crosses the Hardcore Champion’s face.

 

“Please - don’t call it soccer?” he asks plaintively. “It’s football. Football. Soccer is what they play in private schools where your dad has to have known the headmaster for thirty years and you need three cars and a pet pony to be accepted. And even then, it’s only played by the people who don’t make the rugby or cricket teams.” The straight-edger grins. “Nah - up in Radford, it’s football.”

 

“Football’s what we play here,” Jet smiles back. “You know, with the pads and the helmets and all...?”

 

“Wrong again,” Toxxic replies cheerfully, setting off down the corridor. “That’s American Football. So-called cos it’s played in America. And played, I might add, by a bunch of people who don’t realise that the ball is mostly being thrown around. You know, with their hands?” He gestures to make his point, and Jet laughs.

 

“Y’know, for someone who finds the things we do over here strange, you picked a weird country to live in,” she remarks, brushing her red-and-black dreadlocks back with one hand. “Not that I’m complaining...”

 

“Yeah, well at least the people over here accept me for what I am,” Toxxic mutters, his grin fading slightly. Jet eyes him curiously.

 

“Cocky, self-centred little son-of-a-bitch?” she inquires, echoing the most common criticisms levelled at her boyfriend on SWF.com.

 

“Exactly,” the Brit replies without missing a beat. “Perceptive people, these Americans.” He takes a deep breath and, realising that they’ve caught the Coke can up, boots it again. “Look, I need to go and get ready for my match against this new French guy. Y’know what,” he adds speculatively, “that might actually get the crowd on my side for a change...”

 

“You’re not allowed to go hating the French,” Jet chastises him playfully. “That’s xenophobic and wrong.” Toxxic quirks an eyebrow at her.

 

“Hey - Americans have only hated the French for a couple of years. I’m English - we’ve hated them for centuries. That’s not xenophobia, that’s history. You try living 22 miles from ‘em and see what you think then. Anyway... I’m gonna go and get ready-”

 

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Jet cuts in. “Yes, bathroom,” she repeats over Toxxic’s mutter of “it’s a bloody toilet...”. “I’ll get ready there and meet you at the ring entrance, OK?”

 

“Sure,” Toxxic grins. “Hey - I watched my match with Kibagami, and I saw you push that rope into my hand.”

 

“And?” Jet asks playfully.

 

“Don’t do it again,” Toxxic warns, only half-joking. “I’m beating these guys cleanly. Besides, I shouldn’t need help against ‘La Sensational Mayonnaise’, or whatever he’s called.” He raises a black-nailed finger and waves it under his girlfriend’s pierced nose. “Got it?”

 

“OK, OK,” Jet smiles, backing off. “I’ll be a good girl, I promise.”

 

“It’ll take more than a promise to convince me of that,” Toxxic retorts. Jet continues to smile, dips a hand into one pocket - and pulls out a Girl Scout scarf that she proceeds to tie around her neck.

 

“Girl Scout’s Honour?” she simpers, striking a ridiculous saluting pose.

 

“You were actually a Girl Scout?” Toxxic asks in surprise, eyebrows shooting upwards.

 

“Parts of me were,” Jet says, winking and turning away. It takes Toxxic a moment to get the Buffy The Vampire Slayer reference - and by that time his girlfriend has rounded the corner. Shaking his head, the Hardcore Gamer’s champion pivots on the spot and sets off towards his dressing room-

 

“WHOAH!”

 

-and jumps backwards, having turned straight into the chest of the Black Angel, Aecas! Shaking, the straight-edger points a finger at his adversary’s dead white eyes.

 

“I swear, after our match at Battleground I’m gonna fit you with a fucking bell!” Toxxic seethes, so angry at being snuck up on that he completely ignores the more sinister possibilities of the Black Angel’s presence.

 

“Our match at Battleground?” Aecas repeats. His face is impassive, but his eyes seem to glitter as he looks down at the shorter Hardcore Champion.

 

“Yeah - well, that’s the rumour, anyway,” Toxxic says. “Word is that Commissioner Zenon is giving you a rematch for this bit of metal.” Toxxic slaps the Hardcore Title on his shoulder and Aecas’ eyes flick to it.

 

Really?” the Black Angel asks. “Well, that would be... most welcome.” A grin suddenly splits the black-and-white face. “You know, last time I saw you there was something different about you. Oh yes...” he reaches out one huge hand and taps Toxxic’s other shoulder. “There was something there, too.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, Gollum beat me for the ICTV Title,” Toxxic mutters, cricking his neck from side to side irritably. “Big frickin’ deal. If Janus hadn’t-”

 

“Terrence,” Aecas corrects. Toxxic looks directly up into the Black Angel’s eyes.

 

“No, Janus,” he repeats stubbornly. “I had Terrence beat. It was Janus who took that belt from me.” The Straight-Edger’s eyes narrow. “Just like it was Janus, not Terrence, who put Wildchild in the Hell Crush and won those tag belts for you - briefly. And who knows, if the big guy had got mad enough last show you might have actually retained them instead of losing to Mike Van Sickly and The Replacement.”

 

“You have no idea what goes on in Terrence’s head,” Aecas states coldly, but the Straight-Edge Sensation just grins mirthlessly up at him.

 

“Oh, I reckon I’ve got a good enough idea alright; Terrence starts the match, takes a pasting and then Ol’ Red Eyes turns up. Only recently, the two of ‘em have been chopping and changing a bit frequently, ain’t they?” Toxxic continues to smile and speak, but watches the Black Angel cautiously for a warning of imminent attack. “What I know is that I beat you, I beat Dace, then I beat Dace again with his mate Danny Williams, and then I had Terrence beat - but Janus showed up and ruined my fun. How does it feel, to know that the psycho can do what you can’t? To know that you can’t even win a tag match without Terrence losing his cool?”

 

Aecas stands stock still, face impassive, and for a moment Toxxic thinks that he has pushed the big man too far... but Aecas always manages to surprise the straight-edger, and after a second a grin splits his face again. A mirthless grin, true, such as might cross the face of a predatory animal... but still a grin. Dark hair hanging loose over his shoulders, Aecas leans down until he is almost nose-to-nose with the arrogant rookie.

 

“You’ve never met Gabriel... have you?” he asks softly, so that Toxxic has to strain his ears to catch the words.

 

“No, I never have,” Toxxic replies. “And even though you witter on about him I don’t reckon I will, neither. What I do know is that if he shows up, I’ll kick his arse just like I kicked yours.” Toxxic forces himself to smile back at the seven-footer. “And you can tell him that from me.”

 

“Oh, he heard you,” Aecas assures the Hardcore Champion. Toxxic turns and looks over his shoulder, only to see empty corridor. Frowning, he turns back to face Aecas - but the Black Angel has disappeared as suddenly as he arrived.

 

“You- when I see you at Battleground, I’m gonna take that bloody pot plant of yours and ram it up your arse!” Toxxic yells in frustration at the empty air. “You hear me, you overgrown streak of piss!?” The straight-edger abruptly kicks the wall before storming off, shoving a pair of swing doors at the end of the corridor so hard that they bang open. As the doors close again a faint, chilling sound can be heard - the laughter of the Black Angel.

[the.weej 0]

The lights come back up, the rock music hits and we are back LIVE in Oakland for SWF Smarkdown! The cameras scan the crowd, demonstrating beyond reasonable doubt that rabies still exists in California - but before either Cyclone Comet or Bobby Riley can say a word thumping bass beats and samples fill the arena as “La 25ème Image” by IAM and Daddy Nuttea starts up, and red, gold and green lights flare, lighting up the entranceway and ring.

 

“C'est la 25ème image et elle s'inspire de vos carnages

C'est la 25ème image, choisis bien ton personage…”

 

Images of social waste and deprivation fill the SmarkTron, showing the poverty, crime and depression as it affects the immigrant communities in southern France, cut with the SWF’s newest superstar Said chilling with his homies back in the Banilieux and shots of the rap collective IAM rapping.

 

“Welcome back to Smarkdown, Citizens!” Comet hollers, sounding aggrieved that the production crew pulled a fast one on him for once. “We’ve had some great exhibitions of skill and talent so far, but now it’s all about the egos of the two men involved!”

 

“How can you say that Comet?” Bobby Riley demands. “There’s more than two men’s egos at stake here!”

 

As the first verse starts ‘La Sensation Senegalaise’ Said appears at the top of the ramp wearing a Senegal soccer shirt. The Frenchman starts to dance and shuffle his way down to the ring, and as he does so the truth of Riley’s words become apparent - because emerging through the curtain behind their protege come Chris Card and Natasha, and it’s fairly certain that their not-inconsiderable egos will be on the line as well.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall,” Funyon booms. “Introducing first; from The Planet Mars; weighing in at 225lbs and accompanied to the ring by his managers Chris Card and Natasha; ‘LA SENSATION SENEGALAISE’... SAAAAAAYYYYY-EEEEEEEEEDDD!!”

 

“Well Robert, Citizen Said defeated Maskarade to win an SWF contract, and this is his first official match,” Comet recaps as the dreadlocked wrestler bounces into the ring. “I hope he stops dancing soon, because he’s going to need all his energy for his opponent tonight!”

 

As Comet finishes speaking the Smarktron blacks out. The crunching guitars of Lostprophets’ ‘We Still Kill The Old Way’ kick in, and the words ‘Prepare To Be Proved Wrong’ flash up on the screen in jagged white letters. The shot cuts to a clip of Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table with the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the...

 

’GO!’

 

*BOOOM!!*

 

...burst of red pyro announcing the SWF’s premier straight-edger! First through the smoke comes Jet, Hardcore Gamer’s title in her hands, and behind her comes the spiky-haired figure of the man who surprised the unwashed masses by beating Nathaniel Kibagami on Lockdown.

 

“AND HIS OPPONENT!” Funyon bellows over the chorus of boos. “From Nottingham, England; weighing in at 218lbs and accompanied to the ring by his girlfriend Jet; he is the SWF Hardcore Gamer’s Champion... TOXXX-XXXIIIC!!”

 

The Straight-Edge Sensation reaches the bottom of the ramp - and comes face-to-face with Chris Card. Sneering, Technical Perfection grudgingly stands back and allows the Brit to enter the ring. With his eyes still fixed on the Canadian Toxxic ascends the ringpost and throws his arms wide in his straight-edge pose - but Said attacks from behind!

 

*DING-DING!*

 

“And Citizen Said certainly showing the hallmarks of his trainer here!” Comet asserts as the Frenchman starts to pound away on Toxxic’s back.

 

The straight-edger drops back to the canvas, but Said’s attack caught him unawares and unable to defend himself. With his opponent slumped against the turnbuckles Said fires off a roundhouse kick to the head... to the body... then vaults off the second rope and SMASHES the straight-edger with a springboard enziguri! Jet looks on in horror from ringside whilst Chris Card and Natasha applaud, and encouraged by his early success Said jukes and jives across the ring, playing to the fans in attendance - who respond by verbally crapping all over the Frenchman’s antics. Irritation showing on his handsome face, Said turns back to his opponent - only to be flattened by a spinning heel kick!

 

“You can’t turn your back on this man!” Comet warns as Toxxic picks himself up again, rubbing the back of his head but daring Said to get to his feet. “Neither one of these men are popular with the crowd, but both are certainly skilled in the ring.”

 

“Ah, but you know it’s never the same unless you’re pulling for one man,” Bobby Riley says (somewhat ambiguously). “Who’s your pick, Comet?”

 

“Well, neither is exactly appropriate for a follower of Justice such as myself,” the superhero replies. “However, since Toxxic at least wrestles fairly I will back him.”

 

“His only flaw,” Riley agrees as the two men in the ring circle each other. “This kid Said is showing a willingness to use every method available to win, not to mention the fact that he has some impressive kicks!”

 

Rookie and... even-newer-rookie... face each other in the ring. Said’s feet dance across the mat, and Toxxic cracks his neck from side-to-side. The situation seems oddly familiar - and as Toxxic charges in, Comet realises why.

 

“In many ways, Toxxic is facing a similar opponent to Nathaniel Kibagami,” the superhero claims as Toxxic ducks under a lightning-fast Said roundhouse and hits the opposite ropes. “Kibagami used a lot of kicks as well-”

 

...Said drops down to the mat and Toxxic hurdles over him...

 

“-but Toxxic was able to evade them,-”

 

...Toxxic rebounds off the other ropes as Said leapfrogs into the air...

 

“-stuck to his own gameplan-”

 

...the Brit ducks under the aerial Frenchman’s legs and hits the ropes again...

 

“-and frustrated his opponent before-”

 

...Said goes for a hiptoss on his onrushing opponent, but Toxxic flips through the move and lands on his feet...

 

“-finishing the veteran off!”

 

...then rocks the Frenchman with a vicious European uppercut!

 

“Come on Comet, the match will be finished by the time you’ve finished another sentence!” Riley chastises his commentary partner.

 

“Both men setting a quick pace here,” Comet continues, glaring sidelong at Bobby Riley. “I think Toxxic will have the speed advantage, but if La Sensation Senegalaise manages to land a few kicks then the Hardcore champion could be in trouble!”

 

“Oh, certainly,” Riley agrees. “Said managed to ground Maskarade, after all.”

 

In the ring, Toxxic has backed his opponent up against the ropes with two more European uppercuts. The Brit jerks backwards and attempts to whip Said across the ring but despite the stinging sensation in his jaw the Frenchman reverses the move and sends Toxxic into the opposite cables instead. Said goes down for the back bodydrop a little early however, and the Straight-Edge Sensation rams his opponent’s face into his knee before spiking him on his head with a DDT!

 

“And that’s a Sobering Thought!” Comet announces as Toxxic bounces back to his feet. Instead of covering his opponent the Brit looks over at where Chris Card and Natasha are standing - then suddenly breaks into a run straight for them! At the last moment the pair seem to realise his intention and scramble out of the way, but instead of plunging to the outside Toxxic merely jumps up, balances on the top rope for a moment and then backflips into the ring, lands on one knee and strokes his chin... then points off into the middle distance... then gets to his feet, puts his hands on his hips and gives the crowd a cheesy grin!

 

“CATALOGUE POSES~!” Comet laughs - and the crowd actually applaud as Said’s managers scowl on the outside! “Toxxic’s a cocky devil, but it’s worth it to see Chris Card discomforted!”

 

*WHAM!!*

 

“That’s as may be Comet, but it’s Toxxic who’s discomforted now!” Riley replies as Said, who had got back to one knee as Toxxic was showboating, launches himself forward and slams a forearm into the back of his opponent’s head. “Neither man can afford to take his adversary lightly here!”

 

Chris Card is smiling again as his protege regains control of the match, and Said seems to be enjoying himself as he fires off a flurry of punches and kicks in the direction of the Straight-Edge Sensation. Toxxic backs off, unable to evade the onslaught, and when the Brit raises his hands to protect his face Said sees his advantage. Changing the point of attack the Bad Boy from the Banileux slams a kick into his opponent’s midsection, then grabs Toxxic as he bends double and plants the straight-edger’s spiky head into the canvas with a DDT of his own! Showing incredible agility and arrogance the Frenchman kips back up again, busts out a quick dance move... and drops a leg on the back of Toxxic’s neck! As the crowd starts to jeer again, more at the dancing than anything else, La Sensation Senegalaise rolls Toxxic over onto his back and hooks a leg...

 

ONE!

 

TWO!!

 

TH-Kickout!

 

“It’s going to take a lot more than that!” Comet says as Toxxic kicks out powerfully. “For all his attitude problem and questionable make-up use, Toxxic is going to be tougher competition than anyone Said faced in Chris Card’s training school!”

 

“But his very presence here means that Said is the cream of the crop,” Riley argues. “I can foresee an upset.”

 

Said backs away from his opponent as Toxxic starts to get up. The Frenchman stands side-on to his target, slaps his right thigh a couple of times... then darts across the ring and nails Toxxic with an inch-perfect Savate kick!

 

“La 45!” Bobby Riley calls as the Hardcore Champion drops back to the canvas. “Can’t you see the influence of Chris Card just oozing from this young stud, Comet?”

 

“Yes, I can,” Comet agrees. “And that’s what worries me...”

 

Toxxic starts to push himself up again, spurred on by the encouraging shouts of Jet at ringside, but the Straight-Edge Sensation is moving slower this time... and as he pauses momentarily on one knee to get his breath back, Said moves again. The Bad Boy from the Banileux runs in, springs off Toxxic’s knee...

 

*SMACK!!*

 

...and hits the straight-edger flush in the face with a brutal Shining Roundhouse! The entire arena seems to draw in its breath as Toxxic slumps sideways, and Said scrambles to cover his opponent again...

 

ONE!

 

TWO!!

 

THR-kickout!

 

“I thought he had him there!” Riley yelps as Toxxic just manages to get a shoulder up in time. “I thought he’d knocked him right out!”

 

“Well, we all know that Citizen Toxxic has a hard head,” Comet replies, “or possibly a thick skull... The match continues either way, but the SWF’s newest arrival has a definite advantage here!”

 

With his opponent suitably softened up and wavering from the kicks to the head, Said appears to decide he can chance a slightly more technical approach. Hooking Toxxic in a facelock the Frenchman then throws his opponent’s near arm over his shoulders and hoists him vertical before slamming the straight-edger back down with a sit-out front suplex! Before Toxxic can even roll away from the impact Said brings him up to his knees, then clamps on a headlock and rolls his hips, bringing Toxxic over and trapping him against the mat.

 

“Brilliant!” Riley applauds. “Don’t you just love the way Said is controlling this match Comet?”

 

“He’s certainly an impressive specimen,” Comet agrees, “but I question his strategy. Said had Toxxic on the run, but now he’s slowing the match down when he has no need to. I just wonder if in a desire to please his technically-minded mentor he isn’t giving Toxxic the time he needs to recover.”

 

“Bah, that’s rubbish,” Riley retorts. “If there’s one thing you can’t afford to do, it’s work a fast-paced match against Toxxic. Once the momentum picks up that guy will run rings around just about everyone except Wildchild.”

 

“Normally I’d agree Robert; I’m just saying that Citizen Said has been coping quite admirably until now...”

 

The smile on Said’s face as he cinches his hold in tighter is mirrored on the face of his manager, Chris Card quite happy to see his protege in such a commanding position. However, despite the pressure against his head Toxxic is slowly starting to recover from the brutal strikes he’s taken so far, just as Comet suspected. Kicking upwards with his legs, Toxxic attempts to wrap them around his opponent’s throat in a headscissors. Said realises the threat and manages to twist out of the way, but in doing so he lessens his grip. Toxxic wriggles, Said leans back to try and lock the Brit down again - and this time, Toxxic catches him! Wrenching downwards the Hardcore champion forces his opponent to release his grip and has him trapped head down between his legs (as it were) - until Said throws his weight forwards and over, jacknifing his body into a pinning position!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH-Kickout!

 

“Even when he was at a disadvantage, Said almost caught Toxic napping!” Riley points out as the two men get to their feet again. “That’s how good this kid is!”

 

Launching himself into the air, Toxxic goes for a spinning wheel kick - but Said ducks, and the Hardcore champion’s leg passes clean over his head. As the Brit comes to his feet again La Sensation Senegalaise moves in close and slams a left hand right into the straight-edger’s temple...

 

“UN!” Bobby Riley yells.

 

...a right cross spins the Straight-Edge Sensation round...

 

“DEUX!”

 

...another left hand knocks Toxxic back...

 

“TROIS!”

 

...and the Frenchman lunges forward with a clothesline...

 

“BLAU-oh...”

 

...but Toxxic ducks! Said checks his momentum and turns to face his opponent, and with a chance to make a comeback Toxxic desperately starts firing off punches of his own!

 

RIGHT!

 

 

LEFT!

 

 

RIGHT!

 

 

LEFT!

 

 

Windup...

 

 

DISCUS CLOTHESLINE!

 

“And that’s the original!” Comet yells as both men crash to the mat.

 

“Wha- that’s rubbish!” Riley splutters. “Va’aiga was doing the whole ‘punch-sequence’ thing before Toxxic even entered the SWF!”

 

“Details, Robert, details,” Comet answers loftily.

 

Even though Toxxic struck the last blow neither man is quick to his feet, Said momentarily winded from the discus clothesline and Toxxic still suffering from the abuse his head took earlier. Pushing himself up, the Straight-Edge Sensation sees his opponent also regaining his feet and does what he normally does when he needs some breathing space - goes for a quick pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

TH-Kickout!

 

Said kicks out of the schoolboy roll-up easily - but this brings his head within Toxxic’s reach, and the Brit hooks his opponent into a small package!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

TH-Kickout!

 

Once more the Frenchman manages to disentangle himself from his opponent’s clutches, but this time as the two men come to their feet Toxxic launches himself straight back in with a soccer tackle at Said’s legs! The impact causes Chris Card’s protege to flip forwards, landing hard on his back - and as he staggers upright again, wobbling from the stinging sensation in his shins, Toxxic doubles him over with a boot to the midsection and hooks both his arm up behind his back!

 

“Toxxic Shock Syndrome!” Comet calls as the grinning Brit looks over at Card and Natasha. “If he hits this...”

 

But it’s not to be, as with a desperate effort Said manages to free his arms from the straight-edger’s clutches. Hooking his opponent behind the knees Said pushes forwards, and with no way to support his weight Toxxic falls flat on his back. A dazzling smile now illuminating his own features Said retains a firm grip on his opponent’s legs and falls backwards, catapulting Toxxic through the air and sending him headfirst into a turnbuckle! As Natasha starts to lazily applaud, Said grabs the back of the straight-edger’s trousers as he staggers backwards and pulls him over with a roll-up of his own...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

TH-Kickout!

 

“Toxxic pays the price for looking to hit his finisher too early!” Bobby Riley comments as Said insists to referee Eddy Long that it was a three-count. “Comet, this kid is sharp as a knife!”

 

Toxxic is starting to rise, clutching his forehead, but the Straight-Edge Sensation gets no time to catch his breath as Said abandons his berating of the referee, dances in and slams another kick into his opponent’s gut. The breath whooshes from the Brit’s lungs, and Said seizes his doubled-over adversary in a front facelock and raises one arm in the air!

 

“And this could be the Banilieux Buster!” Riley says as Jet starts slapping the side of the ring, trying to will Toxxic to escape his current predicament. “I’ve heard that this move packs quite a punch!”

 

Reaching forward, the Frenchman hooks Toxxic’s leg as if going for a Fisherman’s suplex and then hoists his opponent vertical. However, as the Bad Boy from the Banilieux starts to spin on the spot Toxxic begins to struggle - and drops down behind Said, snaring him in a rear headlock on the way down! Toxxic holds his opponent there for a second before dropping to one knee and driving Said’s neck into the other, then without missing a beat popping back up and spinning round to deliver a devastating Diamond Cutter!

 

“Detoxx!” Comet calls as Said’s face is smashed into the mat. “I don’t know if Said has even seen the Caffeine Bomb, but given its similarity to the Banilieux Buster Toxxic was in the perfect position to be able to counter it!”

 

“A rookie mistake, Comet,” Riley concedes. “Nevertheless, I still think Said can pick up the win here.”

 

Toxxic appears to disagree with the veteran commentator however, and the aching Brit grabs a handful of Said’s dreadlocks and pulls his opponent back to his feet. Firing off a right hand Toxxic backs the Frenchman into a corner, then Irish whips him across the ring - but Said reverses the momentum and sends Toxxic into the opposite corner instead. However, as La Sensation Senegalaise follows his adversary in he is startled to see Toxxic vault up to the top rope, then come flying back with the diving clothesline known as the Role Reversal! The crowd start to make some noise as Toxxic rolls back up to his feet - they haven’t forgotten the Brit’s arrogant words, but his attitude seems to pale into insignificance compared with the dancing Frenchman and his cocky manager. Grinning at his reception, Toxxic steps to the outside of the ring - and raises three fingers in the air above his head. The buzz starts to increase and the Straight-Edge Sensation prepares to spring upwards - but just before he leaves the ground Natasha latches her long-nailed hands firmly around his ankle! Eddy Long springs forward to remonstrate with the Goth Bitch, but before a syllable can leave his mouth Toxxic simply kicks backwards, catching Natasha full in the face! Like the good misogynistic crowd that they are (when it comes to EVIL~ ladies, at any rate), the Oakland fans cheer the straight-edger, and Toxxic vaults up to the top rope...

 

“MONDO!”

 

...to the top turnbuckle...

 

“AKIMBO!”

 

...MOONSAULT!

 

“A-GO-GOOOOH!”

 

But Said gets his knees up!

 

“That moment of distraction was enough for Said to turn the tide again,” Comet seethes as Toxxic rolls away from the point of impact, clutching his ribs, “and all through that Zeus-cursed, evil-minded-”

 

“Comet, if you even think of using the word ‘jezebel’ it will go hard with you,” Bobby Riley warns. “The SWF is above such language.”

 

Said pushes himself back to his feet, and the Bad Boy from the Banilieux is no longer smiling. He stalks across the ring towards the writhing Toxxic, and mercilessly starts kicking his opponent in the ribs. Eddy long jumps in to intervene, but with little noticeable effect as the Frenchman continues to pound away on his downed adversary. Finally Long simply grabs hold of the irate European and pulls him bodily away from Toxxic, but Said takes exception to this treatment and starts firing Verlan swearwords into the referee’s uncomprehending face. Seeing her chance, Natasha sidles over to Toxxic as the straight-edger hangs over the ring apron, gasping for breath - and starts to choke him! The Brit thrashes around wildly, but Eddy Long is still arguing with Said; however, Jet leaps in to help her boyfriend, narrowly missing the Goth Bitch with a Hardcore Gamer’s belt shot! Natasha retreats, leaving Jet at the side of her man, but the damage may have been done. Said pushes past Eddy Long and grabs a leg before hauling Toxxic into the middle of the ring and applying a lazy, one-armed cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

THR-Kickout!

 

Irritated, Said hooks the far leg properly this time and rolls into the cover again, stacking all of Toxxic’s weight onto his shoulders...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

THR-Kickout!

 

...but the Straight-Edge Sensation manages to kick out again! Now fully angry, Said starts to argue with Eddy Long again, backing the referee up against the ropes. Referee Long remains adamant in his decision however, and the Frenchman seems prepared to give it up as a lost cause - but Natasha is not. Climbing onto the apron she grabs hold of the luckless official and begins to instruct him on exactly how fast that count should have been. Eddy Long starts to argue back... and as his attention is focused away from the ring, Chris Card unobtrusively slips a small canister through the ropes and into Said’s hand...

 

“The Aerosol Equaliser!” Comet gasps. “Said and Card are trying to pull another fast one here!”

 

Toxxic is struggling to his feet, using the ropes to pull himself up. The straight-edger’s breath is coming raggedly, both from Said’s brutal kicks to the chest and the choking he suffered at the hands of Natasha. Poised in the ring behind him like a statue carved from ebony is the form of Said, his body shielding the can of Mace from the view of Eddy Long should he turn around... but Eddy Long is still occupied with Natasha, and is showing no intention of turning around just yet...

 

...but then Jet jumps up onto the apron and grabs Natasha...

 

...Toxxic starts to turn around, and Said raises the Aerosol Equaliser. The crowd start to mutter, angry at the thought of the Frenchman achieving another cheap victory, even over an opponent such as the straight-edger...

 

...Jet grabs the Goth Bitch’s face in both hands and plants a kiss squarely on her lips...

 

*WHAP!!*

 

...and Toxxic fires off a superkick, knocking the can of Mace clean out of Said’s hands and back out to the arena floor!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!”

 

The crowd comes alive as Chris Card’s jaw drops and Said spins away from Toxxic, clutching his right hand. Forcing himself to turn away from the bi-sexual action taking place on the ring apron Eddy Long sees only the two wrestlers, with no hint of any shady shenanigans having taken place. The only difference is that now it is Said who is hurting, and now it is Toxxic who is angry.

 

The Toxxic Shock Syndrome was countered. The Caffeine Bomb is too similar to the Banilieux Buster to attempt safely. If one gameplan doesn’t work, you try another.

 

Toxxic’s breath rasps in his throat, but what he has planned doesn’t take much movement. It’s just a case of timing. Said starts to turn back towards his opponent, shaking out his right hand to try and lose the stinging sensation - and as he raises his arm away from his body, Toxxic darts in. Grabbing the right wrist the Straight-Edge Sensation twists behind the Frenchman and wrenches his arm up into a hammerlock. Said yells in pain and tries to wriggle away, but Toxxic is having none of it. Grimly, the Brit kicks Said in the back of the knee, dropping him down, then reaches forward and wraps his left arm around his opponent’s throat...

 

...on the apron, Natasha suddenly realises what’s going on in the ring and pushes Jet away from her, much to the dissatisfaction of the red-blooded males in the front row. Jet holds on however, despite the Goth Bitch’s struggles...

 

...Toxxic wrenches back on the Dragon sleeper and grabs Said’s right wrist with his left hand. Pausing for a moment, the Straight-Edge Sensation takes a second to look up the entrance ramp. With a shout that sounds strangely like “AECAS!” he abruptly drops backwards, wrapping his legs around Said’s body and locking in the deadly submission move known as the Repeat To Fade!

 

“That’s the move that Toxxic used at From The Fire to win the Hardcore Gamer’s Title!” Comet usefully informs the audience. “He must be bringing it out now to try and send a message to the Black Angel, whom many believe is scheduled to challenge him at the Battleground Pay-Per-View!”

 

“Come on Chris, do something!” is Bobby Riley’s only comment.

 

Chris Card is stuck on the outside of the ring however, unable to interfere without garnering an immediate disqualification from the now-undistracted Eddy Long. Cursing, the Canadian can only watch and hope that Said can somehow squirm his way out of the hold...

 

...but Toxxic has his victim firmly locked up, right arm pinned up behind his back and left arm trapped at his side with the legscissors. The grimacing straight-edger leans back, torquing the hold as tight as he can... and as Eddy Long leans close he hears two heavily-accented syllables escape La Sensation Senegalaise’s lips.

 

“I quit! I quit!”

 

*DING-DING!*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner!” Funyon booms over the guitars of Lostprophets. “The ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’... TOXXX-XXXIIIC!!”

 

“What a hard-fought match!” Comet exults as Toxxic releases his grip and rolls away. “Both these men gave it their all, but in the end experience told and it was the Hardcore Gamer’s Champion who came out on top!”

 

“Note to self: never back the new guy,” Riley mutter miserably. “Still, Said shouldn’t lose heart - there’s still plenty of people for him to beat in the SWF. He just needs to get a bit handier with that can of Mace...”

 

“For shame, Robert!” Comet exclaims. “Citizen Said has proved here that he is a competitor to be feared in his own right without resorting to the cheap tricks of his mentors!”

 

The exhausted Toxxic rolls under the bottom rope where he is greeted by Jet, who presents him with his Hardcore Gamer’s belt. The Straight-Edge Sensation slings it over one shoulder, but comes to a sudden halt as he finds his way blocked by the figure of Chris Card. The two men stare at each other for a second - then Toxxic makes a little “shooing” motion with his hands, and the Canadian reluctantly steps aside. Toxxic and Jet make their way up the ramp, but as they leave Jet turns back over her shoulder and blows an impish kiss at the sulking Natasha as we

 

FADE OUT

[the.weej 0]

The California crowd is a huge sea of signs, t-shirts and cheering people as ever with SWF shows. The sold out Arena in Oakland has already been a boiling point from previous matches and there’s still more to come. Funyon starts to make his usual walk to the ring in his ever flashy suit as Referee Hardcastle makes his way down for the net match up.

 

“Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown Citizens. I’m your every lovable caped crusader host … CYCLONE COMET … and with me at ringside is the questionable man… Robert Riley!” Yells Comet with his usual over the top voice as Bobby tries to sink into his chair.

 

“Thank you so much for trying to scare the viewers away Comet, when we have such a fun match coming up. I can’t believe me luck at this one.” Riley says, grinning like a snake.

 

“Well, we’ve had a bumper show already, including the first real match of our latest SWF star, Said against the red hot rookie, Toxxic. And we’ve still got a ladder match for the tag team titles and a huge tag match to try and sort things out for the pay per view.” Continues Comet, ignoring Riley.

 

“Yes, yes Comet. And I hope Duran gets even more revenge on Grappler. But right now, we get to see Dace Night and Psycho Number Two Aecas beat the living hell out of each other in a hardcore match. It’s going to be great!” Says Riley.

 

“Well Robert, I’d be careful. These two team mates might not want to face each other like that. You remember what happened with Justice and Rule?” Comet points out as Riley closes his eyes against the flash backs.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest will be for one fall, under hardcore rules!” Funyon starts to announce, over the rising roar of the crowds. “Introducing firstly, from Birmingham England, weighing in at two hundred and fifty two pounds, he is …. DACE….” The yell of ‘Fucking’ rings out from the fans as they chime in with the introduction. “NIGHT!”

 

A huge cheer breaks across the crowd as Hero screams into life over the PA system, along with bursts of white pyro lighting up the entrance ramp all the way up to the top. Standing in the crowd of smoke, Dace looks around at the cheering fans, before starting to make his way down the ramp. Tagging hands with the fans in the front row as he goes by, Dace grins before sliding under the ropes into the ring. Climbing the turnbuckles, Dace throws his arms into air, flashing the horns to the fans before dropping back to the mat to wait for Aecas.

 

“Come on, stop trying to stall. Get Aecas out here and start killing each other.” Riley whines.

 

“And his opponent, from Shrewsbury England, weighing in at three hundred and fifteen pounds … The Black Angel … AECAS!”

 

But rather than the familiar haunting voice of The Black Angel’s introducing, complete different music breaks into life, causing confusion among the fans as Madonna’s “Dress You Up In My Love” hits the speakers. Straining their necks towards the entrance ramp, the crowd try to see what’s going on and who’s coming out. Through the darkness, a figure slowly emerges..

 

“Is that Madonna? Has Citizen Aecas completely lost his mind? More so than before anyway?” Comet wonders.

 

“Oh great.. as if he wasn’t bad enough as it is.” Groans Riley.

 

“Oh god…… it’s not Citizen Aecas!” Shouts Comet in shock.

 

“You’re kidding me, right?” Riley says slowly as the figure becomes clear on the stage…..

 

….

….

….

 

It’s Cutthroat! A huge wave of boos rip into life around the arena as the SWF’s official black hole of sucking stands on the stage with a house mic in hand and a grin on his face. Dressed in horribly garish and clashing colours, Cutthroat simply stands and waits, letting the boos die out. In the ring Dace Night just stands and stares, wondering what the hell is going on.

 

“I bet you’re all wondering why I’m here aren’t you? Well as much as the hunk of man love Bobby Riley wants to see Dace and Aecas beat the hell out of each other in the middle of the ring, I feel I’ve got to do something about this.” Cutthroat says another huge wave of boos and jeers sounding from the fans as he continues. “Because isn’t this fed about wrestling? Real talent, from people like me? Not about untalented psychos hitting each other with chairs and all that? I’m right aren’t I? It’s about the wrestling!” He yells over the booing.

 

“Someone do something and shut him up please. Before I break my vow not to use my powers.” Threatens Comet.

 

A huge echoing chant of ‘Cutthroat Sucks!’ breaks out from the fans, as Dace joins in, cracking his knuckles, ready to dive in. The chant only gets louder as Cutthroat carries on with his speech.

 

“So I’ve brought in someone. Someone that this place needs. A shining example. A true hero of pro wrestling. A man we should all be looking up to. Someone you’ll all know, love and respect.” Cutthroat rambles on, trying to impersonate a vacuum cleaner around Bobby Riley, “Ladies and gentlemen, untalented scum in the ring, I give you…. TEDDY HART!”

 

“WHAT? That dick?” Comet and Riley cry out in a rear union of thought.

 

As the Lox Feat’s “Money, Power, Respect” kicks into life a near deafening chant of ‘FUCK YOU TEDDY!’ breaks into life, almost making the building shake with it’s ferocity. Standing at the top of the ramp, the black sheep of the Hart family takes the mic from Cutthroat’s hand and starts to walk down the ramp as he addresses the crowd.

 

“See, this is what the good man is talking about!” Teddy almost screams. “He brings in me, Teddy Hart, a member of the great Hart family into your federation. He’s bringing in great talent, a third generation wrestling superstar! Someone that embodies what you’re all meant to love… Pro Wrestling. And yet you say those horrible things? What are you lot, rednecks? I’m here to bring you real wrestling, real talent. Not mindless weapon shots like that stupid monkey in the ring. Dace Night, please give me a break, what sort of retarded gimmick is that?” Hart continues in his rant, over the insults from the crowd and near death threats.

 

“I think Citizen Hart should be very careful for Dace is going to make it possible for him to really speak straight out of his execratory hole.” Notes Comet, as Dace stands in ring, looking like he’s about to break into a blood rage.

 

“Will you people be quiet for one moment. Just let you ADD riddled, TV driven minds sit back and listen to my greatness. You’ll never learn if you can’t listen to a great teacher like me…” Teddy continues to the hatred of the fans.

 

“Are you scared?”

 

“He’s here!”

 

The familiar haunting voice breaks out as the arena is plunged into darkness Dark Funeral’s “Dead Skin Mask” erupting from the arena speakers as another roaring cheer from the crowd shakes the building. A huge light show breaks out at the top of the ramp as Dead Skin Mask breaks into life. Striding through the smoke, the Scythe in one hand, a pint of Guinness in the other and a very irritated look on his face, stands the Black Angel, Aecas.

 

“And here is our scheduled second man Robert! But what must he be thinking about the sight in front of him?!”

 

“I have no idea Comet. And why the hell is he bringing beer out here with him?!”

 

Aecas stands on the stage for a long moment moving his Scythe up to rest on his shoulders as he takes a sip of his pint, dead white eyes looking down to the mouth of the ramp at Teddy and Cutthroat before he begins to stride down the ramp. Hart and Cutthroat quickly back away from the giant as he arrives at ringside rolling into the ring as he passes only to find themselves confronted by a very angry Dace Night. Cutthroat quickly backs Teddy into a corner placing himself in front of the mouthy youngster as Aecas makes his way casually to the Time Keepers table.

 

“It looks like Citizen Hart has jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire! He does not want to be in the ring with Citizen Night Robert!”

 

“Yes he has Comet but he’s smart enough to have a sacrifice in front of him.”

 

Aecas deposits his Flick Scythe at the Time Keepers table before carefully placing the half empty pint of Guinness on the announcer’s table before he gives Riley and Comet a wink and turns back towards the ring.

 

“If Citizen Hart was smart Robert he’d be out of the ring and halfway down the aisle by now.”

 

“Sadly he isn’t that smart.”

 

“What a pity…” Comet says with an unusual amount of relish.

 

Aecas jumps up onto the apron slowly stepping through the ropes and moving up to stand side by side with his erstwhile opponent staring at the two men huddled in one corner of the ring. Teddy Hart shakes his head quickly and lifts the mic up once more having to shout to make himself heard over the fans.

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Do you know who I am? I’m Teddy Hart! I’m the first 3rd generation superstar to ever grace the SWF with his presence! I’m here to save these people from watching mindless garbage brawlers like you two!”

 

Teddy is quickly cut off as Dace lunges forwards grabbing Cutthroat by his truly loud Hawaiian shirt and forcibly dragging him out of the corner and into Aecas’ less than friendly arms leaving the blustering Hart on his own and face to face with a very angry Englishman.

 

“Citizen Hart just doesn’t know when to shut up Robert!”

 

“As much as I want to see Dace and Aecas hurt each other...I'll PAY to see them kill these two Comet!”

 

“As would I Robert but I think we’re going to see it for free!”

 

Just then, yet another round of music strikes up over the arena, as ‘Temptation’ by The Tea Party kicks into life, signalling the arrival of the current SWF commissioner, Alex Zenon. Standing at the top of the ramp, the commissioner looks down at the four men in the ring. Shaking his head from side to side, he waits for the crowd to quite down yet again. Looking at the figure of Teddy Hart, Zenon can almost see the sweat dripping off him as Dace growls at him.

 

“It’s Commissioner Zenon. He must be here to sort out this situation. I hope he doesn’t sort it out too much though…” Comet says, still staring at the ring.

 

“Cutthroat, I don’t know who’s dick you sucked to allow you to get out there. More to the point, I don’t know how you managed to get him in here, but you wont be getting away with it.” Snarls Zenon, “Now, I could just have security take you out of the building right now, but I won’t. Teddy Hart, you’re spitting on your family name and the legend. Cutthroat, you just plain suck. Aecas, Dace, you have my full permission to legally murder these two dicks right now!”

 

The crowd explodes into an ear drum bursting pop as Alex Zenon sweeps around and backs through the entrance way. Looking at each other for a second, the two Trinity members let a smile creep across their face before driving their right boots straight into the groins of Cutthroat and Teddy Hart. The two men topple forwards, clutching at their crotches as the fans explode again. Grinning at each other, Dace and Aecas look ready to carry out a real beating.

 

“Zenon just made the only discussion I’ll ever agree with! This really is going to be great TV Comet. I mean, who doesn’t want to see Teddy Hart die on live TV?!” Questions Riley, grinning as he stares at the ring.

 

Hauling Teddy Hart overhead into a Military Press, Dace walks into the centre of the ring, carrying Hart above his head before racing across the ring and launching him out onto the floor. Teddy hits the floor with a loud smack, the sheer momentum of the fall curling himself into a ball from the impact. Across the ring, the Black Angel grabs Cutthroat around his neck and his tights, hauling up the king of sucking before smashing him across the hard bone of his knee with a nasty looking Chokebreaker. Aecas gazes down at the writhing Cutthroat for a few long moments before grabbing him by the hair and pulling the wretch back up to his feet, shoving him back against the ropes. The king of suck sags against the cables for a brief moment before Aecas comes thundering back in, his huge right arm catching Cutthroat right in the neck catapulting him over the top rope and down to the floor.

 

“And the Trinity have cleared the ring Robert!”

 

“Ugh and Cutthroat’s headed our way! The last thing I want right now is him up close to me!”

 

“Indeed Robert! I haven’t seen such a clash of colours and styles since the Magic Roundabout!”

 

Cutthroat staggers towards the announcer’s table one hand clutching at his neck as on the other side of the ring Teddy Hart begins to slowly pick himself up as Cutthroat flops across the announcer’s table.

 

“My god this is disgusting!”

 

“Nobody needs to see that Robert! But Citizen Cutthroat is going for Citizen Aecas’ pint!”

 

Cutthroat grabs the half full glass from the top of the table before he swings around holding it up as he glares at the seven footer staring back at him from the ring, the king of suck holds the glass for a minute longer before he takes a swallow of Guinness. A look of smug triumph crosses Cutthroat’s face for a moment before its replaced by a look of sheer disgust as the king of suck gags on the bitter taste spewing a mouthful of lukewarm Guinness across the protective mats.

 

“It looks as if Citizen Cutthroat can’t hold his drink Robert!”

 

The Trinity seem to think so as well as Aecas and Dace both grin at Cutthroat’s misfortune, but the grins disappear as the king of suck upends the glass and lets the remaining half splatter onto the mats as well. Aecas just stares at Cutthroat for a brief moment before a look of sheer rage twists his painted face as the seven footer practically leaps through the ropes and down to the floor one hand grabbing a handful of Cutthroat’s criminally loud shirt as the king of suck tries to flee.

 

“And Cutthroat just spilt Aecas’ pint!”

 

“Shall I get a priest Robert?”

 

“Better get an Exorcist Comet.”

 

Dragging the king of suck back towards him the enraged Black Angel snatches the glass from one limp wrested hand and gazes wistfully at the last dregs of Guinness that cling to its surface before he smashes it across Cutthroat’s head!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Tearing his eyes away from the action on the outside for a moment Dace finds that Teddy Hart is back to his feet, the Brummie Goth wastes no time however breaking into a short sprint and diving through the top and middle ropes his right elbow CRACKING into the side of Teddy Hart’s head!

 

“Elbow Suicidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

“I’ll add a brain surgeon to the list Robert!”

 

The crowd erupts as the two men crash to the floor and Dace Night wastes no time, straddling the black sheep of the Hart family and starting to send elbow after crushing elbow into his unprotected head!

 

“DACE FUCKING NIGHT!”

 

“DACE FUCKING NIGHT!”

 

“DACE FUCKING NIGHT!”

 

“DACE FUCKING NIGHT!”

 

“And the good Citizens are saying it all for us Robert!”

 

As his stablemate pounds away on Teddy Aecas searches underneath the ring for a moment, pulling out a thick bundle of light tubes and a chair with a rack of light tubes taped to it from the gloomy depths beneath the ring to another loud pop from the fans. The Black Angel deposits the bundle on the announcer’s table for a brief moment as he takes the light tube chair in both hands. The king of suck already bleeding profusely from the forehead gets it full in the face once again as Aecas cracks him squarely on top of the head with the light tube chair!

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

”HOLY SHIT!”

 

”HOLY SHIT!”

 

Cutthroat drops down to his knees both hands clutching at a face that is getting bloodier and bloodier by the minute before Aecas dents the steel over his head with a truly cringe inducing chair shot.

 

CRACK!

 

“I think Citizen Aecas may have fractured Citizen Cutthroat’s skull with that one Robert!”

 

“Popcorn Comet?”

 

“Don’t mind if I do Robert!”

 

Dace meanwhile has finally let up with his torrent of Elbows only to look beneath the ring himself for a moment before he drags out a steel chair of his own, the High Priest of Horrorcore drags a groggy Teddy Hart up into a sitting position before smashing him right back down with a vicious chair shot. The fans erupt into another thunderous “DACE FUCKING NIGHT!” chant but the Brummie Goth isn’t finished there as he drops the chair and quickly peels away a section of protective matting, exposing the hard concrete floor beneath. As Aecas busily rips apart Cutthroat’s hideous shirt exposing his bare back Dace drags what’s left of Teddy Hart back up to his feet shoving Hart’s head between his legs and making a throat slitting motion to another loud pop from the crowd. The Hardcore Goth wraps his arms around Teddy’s middle and lifts him up before drilling him head first into the concrete with a Piledriver as Aecas shatters his remaining light tube bundle against Cutthroat’s naked back.

 

“The Trinity are just dismantling Citizens Cutthroat and Hart in front of us Robert!”

 

“They are more than happy to carry out Zenon’s wishes here Comet and I don’t think there’s anyone here who’s going to complain about what we’re seeing right now!”

 

With the cheers of the fans still ringing in their ears Aecas and Dace Night set to work once more, the Hardcore Goth picks up the limp form of Teddy hart once again and shoves him up against the crowd barriers hooking Hart’s arms behind the barrier to keep him more or less standing up. Aecas on the other hand picks up the badly damaged chair and forces it open, planting it onto the mats and unceremoniously dumping Cutthroat onto the wobbly steel. Dace takes up his steel chair once again as Aecas fetches a second one from beneath the ring, handing it to a fan at ringside and instructing them to hold it over Cutthroat’s head before both men climb up to the apron and then begin to ascend the turnbuckles.

 

“The Trinity are going upstairs Robert!”

 

“And Teddy Hart and Cutthroat better be ready for a crash landing!”

 

Dace and Aecas slowly climb up to the tops of their respective corners looking out at the sea of humanity cheering them on before they leap off the top in near perfect stereo, Dace Night destroying his chair over the top of Teddy hart’s head with a CRACK that echoes around the building while Aecas stomps the fan held chair onto Cutthroat’s head with an M Bison stomp all the way from the top to the outside!

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

”HOLY SHIT!”

 

”HOLY SHIT!”

 

”HOLY SHIT!”

 

Teddy Hart crumples bonelessly to the canvas the broken chair hooked over his head like some weird crown as Cutthroat’s head snaps forwards and then back from the huge impact of the chair as Aecas lands in front of him the big man losing his footing and landing heavily before pushing himself back up to his feet and looking across the ring at Dace with an evil grin the fans know only too well. Picking up the now almost literally dead weight of Teddy Hart and Cutthroat, Dace and Aecas start to drag them towards the ramp. Stopping at the bottom of the ramp, Horrorcore swings around into Rear Waistlock on Hart and snaps backwards, sending him crashing into the ramp with a brutal Dangerous German Suplex. Teddy Hart hits the ramp with a huge crash and clank, as another huge roar breaks up from the fans. The Black Angel follow up by completely crushing Cutthroat’s neck with a Backdrop Drop Driver onto the steel ramp.

 

“WE FELT THAT ONE!”

 

“WE FELT THAT ONE!”

 

“WE FELT THAT ONE!”

 

“WE FELT THAT ONE!”

 

“WE FELT THAT ONE!”

 

“WE FELT THAT ONE!”

 

“This has to be one of the worse beatings I’ve ever seen since the Steiner Brothers still faced jobbers!” Cries Comet.

 

“And this is the only time I’m going to be cheering on these two guys. Enjoy it!” Riley follows up.

 

Leaping the lifeless heaps at the bottom of the ramp, Dace and Aecas head down the sides of the ramp. Pulling several tables clear from the area, they drag them to either side of the stage. Opening up near by boxes, both men grin as they pull out bags. With two tables either side of the stage, Horrorcore and The Black Angel proceed to cover them in thumbtacs. Not done there, they take canisters of liquid and cover the tables in them. A flare breaks up from the tables as they burst into flames, creating an evil glow around the two members of the Unholy Trinity.

 

TRIN-ITY! TRIN-ITY! TRIN-ITY! TRIN-ITY!

 

“Oh my god, those thumbtack covered tables are now on fire! This really is going to be a big end for Teddy Hart and Cutthroat!”

 

“Damn, just when I didn’t have any marshmallows with me either. What a shame Comet.” Replies Riley.

 

Picking up the still unmoving Hart and the king of suck from the heap on the ramp, the two Hardcore Goths start to drag them all the way to the top of the stage. Looking out to the flaming piles of death below, the two exchange glances with each other for a moment. Taking up opposite sides of the stage, Dace holds Teddy Hart as Aecas holds Cutthroat. Hauling them into Standing Headscissors, the duo yet out a huge yell and pull Hart and Cutthroat up into the air for a pair of Powerbombs. Pausing for just a second for all the camera flashes to go off before sending both the hatred figured plummeting from the stage onto the flaming thumbtack tables to an ear shattered explosion from the fans.

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“THAT’S THE FINAL NAIL IN THE COFFIN! A pair of Powerbombs off the stage through those flaming tables! Those two are just dead!” Yells Comet at the top of his voice!

 

“TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING TWAT TEDDY!”

 

LET FREEDOM RING WITH THE SHOTGUN BLAST!

 

“Well, we didn’t get the scheduled match, but this was just as fun. I think this is a message to everyone out there about what sort of company the SWF is.” Says Comet.

 

“Please Comet, before I start regretting not seeing Aecas and Dace kill each other tonight. Let us just enjoy this golden moment.”

 

Davidan roars into life over the chanting crowds as Aecas and Dace look down at the decimated remains of bodies at the bottom of the stage. Grinning to each other, the two Trinity members standing posing for the fans as the image fades out.

[the.weej 0]

“It’s hard, Tom.”

 

The face of Allison Onita is downcast. She sits in Tom Flesher’s locker room, already in her suit for her managerial appearance later tonight. “I mean… no matter what I do, I feel like I’m betraying someone. I don’t know why, but Ann’s not exactly thrilled about us hanging out, even though it’s been forever since I saw you… but you’re an old friend.”

 

Flesher walks back into the room, stripped to the waist. He wears his singlet, the straps pulled down and hanging from his hips, and his warm-up pants, but the warm-up top sits in a heap on the coffee table.

 

“I know, Alli,” he says. He turns back to the locker room mirror and begins preening. “It’s a tough situation that Ann’s decided to put you in, and frankly, it surprises me.” He straightens his coif, fixing it ever so slightly so that not a single hair is out of place. “I know that Ann and I didn’t get along in the Magnificent Seven, but I’ve apologized for that… time and time again. It’s like she just won’t take yes for an answer… I’m sure you know how frustrating that is. You’re a strong-willed woman, I’m sure you and Ann have butted heads more than once.”

 

Allison smiles a little. “Yes... of course we have. But- well, at least you’ve apologized for the way you treated her in the Mag-7. She’s never apologized for stealing Molly… she doesn’t even like talking about it.”

 

“You have to take that sort of thing with a grain of salt,” Flesher says, smoothing his sideburns down. He takes out a razor and continues talking as he very slowly, very carefully evens out his facial hair. “You know what it’s like to be in Ann’s shoes. You wrestled her matches for months when you were working for Thoth. Sometimes it’s just hard to admit you’re wrong, because… well, you know as well as I do. What happens on the road is supposed to stay on the road.”

 

Allison nods.

 

“But Alli, I’m really glad you came to see me tonight. It’s been a long time since we sat down and talked about old times… and you can ask Andrew Rickmen how much I like to reminisce.” He laughs to himself. “No one else knows as well as you and I do about what happened backstage with the Clan, and I know sometimes it’s hard to talk about it with people who don’t understand. They wonder how you could just… succumb to a charismatic personality like Thoth’s, but they don’t get it. Not at all.”

 

“It was great to spend some time with you, too, Tom,” says Allison, rising. Tom turns and faces her, a smile on his face. “And it’s fun to talk about the Clan… but I’m glad those days are behind me.” She steps toward him and, unsure of herself, offers a hand. He wraps one arm around her and pulls her close, hugging her tightly. He smiles as she embraces him, then steps back. Allison blushes, then abruptly turns toward the door.

 

“I think… Ann’s going to need her pep talk,” she says.

 

“You go take care of that,” says Tom. “I’ll see you later on.”

 

Allison nods, then steps out into the hall. As she closes the door, Flesher’s face twists into a smirk, and he triumphantly pulls up his singlet straps as the picture fades.

[the.weej 0]

As SWF Smarkdown comes blasting back onto live television, a large gold plate is shown front and center. A bit hazy at first, but when the cameras focus, the words “SWF Cruiserweight Champion” can plainly be seen. Finally, the shot zooms out, revealing the new Cruiserweight Champion, Johnny Dangerous standing alongside his partner in crime, the Bahama Bomber himself, Wildchild as the Oakland crowd cheering is heard!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

To their immediate left is resident SWF Journalist Benjamin Hardy, standing ready with a microphone in hand.

 

“Welcome back, fans,” He says. “This is Ben Hardy here reporting to you live with the dynamic tag team specialist, Wild and Dangerous! Firstly, Johnny Dangerous! Congratulations on your winning of the Cruiserweight Championship, and what an honor it must be to help sow the seeds that your partner Wildchild planted with the Cruiserweight division!”

 

“You couldn’t be more right on that, Hardy,” Johnny replies with his million dollar smile. “It’s been a non-stop celebration for me and Dub Cee from Des Moines, Iowa to Oakland, California! It is an honor to become the Cruiserweight Champion, and I fully intend to defend this title with my dying breath!”

 

Wildchild nods his approval, smiling diligently for the fans.

 

“I see, however, the question on everyone’s mind is this…” Hardy stalls as he cocks his head to the side, gazing into the camera, and nods his head. Wildchild and Johnny share a bewilder glance towards one another before Ben turns his attention back towards the pair and continues. “Everyone knows that the two of you are an excellent team, but will the Cruiserweight Championship drive a stake between the friendship and partnership of Wild and Dangerous?”

 

“Dat’s jus’ ridiculous,” snaps Wildchild. “Der was once a time, a time we like ta try an’ forget, when Wild and Dangerous was at odds wit’ each other.”

 

The thought cause the Bahama Bomber to clutch his ribs as Johnny shamefully hangs his head. After a second, Wildchild continues. Let me say dis now, Ben, never again will we let such an occurrence take place, not even for some-ting as meaningful as da Cruiserweight Championship!”

 

“That’s right, and the second Wildchild wants his shot at this belt…” chimes Johnny, thumping the gold plated title, “he’s got it! However, it will be a simple… yet furious competition, as I expect nothing less than for Wildchild to give me everything he’s got! But when it’s all said and done, the best man will have won, and after that… if Wildchild wins, we’ll party together just like after Clusterfuck, where Dub Cee defeated Tom Flesher in a ladder match to become the first ever SWF Cruiserweight Champion!”

 

“Speaking of ladders,” says Hardy, “how do you feel about going into this ladder match tonight against the new SWf Tag Team Champions, the In Crowd? They made an impressive debut on Lockdown and-”

 

“Debut,” scoffs Wildchild. “Maybe for dis Todd Cortez, but da other half is da same old washed up Mike Van Siclen! I still remember as clear as day when you decided to declare war against me an’ Johnny, Mike. We stole your spotlight, and you were tired of it. You crapped your pants, and we wouldn’t change your diaper! Well guess what… you stole Wild and Dangerous' Tag Team Championship! What’s da matter, couldn’t wait fer me an’ Johnny to have our rematch against da Unholy Trinity to gain back our belts? What, Mike, your not worried about facing me and Johnny are you? Especially after your original secret partner, Scott Thompson bailed on you, huh?”

 

“He’s got a new partner now, and his name is Todd Cortez.”

 

“I don’ really care who his partner is, Ben,” Wildchild replies. “Whoever he is, I’m sure he’ll be doing all da work for good ol’ Mike. However, for just as surely as I reached up, an grabbed dat briefcase containing da Cruiserweight Championship, tonight, I will reach up an grab da Tag Team Titles! And once more, Wild and Dangerous will be da Tag Team Champions!”

 

Wildchild pauses, the thoughts of Van Siclen having riled him up a bit. Finally, Johnny slaps his partner on the shoulder. “Come on,” he says, “we’ve got a match to get ready for.”

 

Wildchild nods, and the duo turns, thanking Hardy for taking the time, and strolls off towards the locker rooms…

 

 

 

 

 

 

As we:

FADE OUT

[the.weej 0]

“Welcome back to SMARKDOWN, True Believers! Up next we will see the former tag team champions Wild and Dangerous take on the new tag champions the In Crowd in what is sure to be an amazing ladder match.” Comet welcomes the fans back to the Arena in Oakland with these words, “but right now we have been to share with you this apparently vital information. So without further ado…” He finishes as he and Riley turn to their monitors to watch, and the building is dropped into darkness and the video plays…

 

 

----------

 

The SmarkTron video fades up, and what is shown is a long aisle down the center of the church. People stand on both stands, and though there is silence, they seem to be entranced by the figure behind the podium. As the camera moves down the aisle, the people in the pews disappear and reappear at random, their bodies going static and back into reality with each movement of the cameraman.

 

One moment here…gone the next.

.

As the camera reaches the podium, the eyes of the shadowy figure are seen, and a familiar voice is heard. The voice of a Disciple.

 

“Today we will speak candidly about a man whose history is somewhat daunting, somewhat cheerful, somewhat sad, but still very thought provoking. A history of a man that some have come to love and praise, while those that seek the truth have come to loathe…”

 

Cheers from the church crowd kick up, even as they fade away into nothingness once more. The Disciple raises his arms high as images and dates flash behind him. One date finally makes itself brighter than the rest, and the voice continues to tell the story…

 

November 23, 2003

 

“For it was on this day, the man struck a blow to good faith, when he took it upon himself to create a false idol for the world to see. A false treasure to capture and claim for his own…”

 

An image begins to become clear, that of Alan Clark gripping Landon Maddix’s head and contorting and twisting his body as Maddix begins to tap out, giving Alan Clark his second European Championship.

 

More dates begin to flash across the screen, and again another makes itself known. The story continues…

 

December 12, 2003

 

 

“But the worst was soon to come…”

The image, Alan Clark laying over Todd Royal and the three being counted, giving Clark his chance at the SJL World Championship. But like a blur the images change, and soon the aftermath of the match plays out, with Landon Maddix joining Todd Royal and leaving Alan Clark down and hurt in the center of the ring.

 

December 20, 2003

 

“…He struck once more, like lightning blistering the sky…blistering the souls of those who follow the path to righteousness. He attacked our leader, our Savior…and left him to perish alone!”

 

Alan Clark takes the biggest chance he can, diving from the roof of a production truck and crashing down on top of Todd Royal, securing the Junior League World Championship as his own. As he celebrates in the ring, Todd lays backstage, nearly unconscious. But the story is not over…

 

January 8, 2004

 

“But like all of those who try and destroy, soon they are destroyed themselves. Some by greed, some by misfortune, and still others…

 

…by revenge…”

 

It is a new year, and a new foe has risen from the past, as Landon Maddix is shown celebrating on the stage as Alan Clark looks on, defeated for his European Championship.

 

At the church, bright lights appear surrounding one very special date, and the actions of the Disciple grow more verbose and energetic.

 

January 26, 2004

 

“And It was on this day, that our Savior spoke to me and told me that I was going to be a part of the greatest moment in history! He looked down on me and told me that I was going to be the one. I was going to put the faith back into this unfortunate soul! And for a moment…our Savior was right…”

 

Less than three weeks later, and the JL is soon to close its doors. On the final night and in one final match, Landon Maddix defeats Alan Clark in a two out of three falls match-up, giving him both the World and European Championships and leaving him alone as the sole Junior League Champion.

 

After the match, the two men who had battle tooth-and-nail throughout the weeks stand across from each other, and out of complete respect, the two shake hands and share a short hug, showing solidarity for their journey into the SWF…but all is not so well…

 

 

 

February 17, 2004

 

“But no! Soon the truth unfolded…and the scourge returned, pining for redemption of which he could never receive!”

 

It was a special day for Landon Maddix, as he turns the big 2-0 on live television. With but few words…the past that was once thought to be forgotten explodes into the present and future…

 

“And remember something...people used to respect you. And you blew it."

 

In front of the crowd, the Disciple lowers his head and his words come slow.

 

“He thought he knew the truth. But all he knew was a lie.”

 

The image behind him - a cold stare that speaks more for their relationship of the two men than any one phrase could, but a little over one week later Alan Clark stands in the middle of the ring and tries his best to show his emotions and let all the anger out…

 

“I told the whole world that it didn’t matter what had to happen, and what extremes I had to go to…I would get the job done. And that is exactly what I did! I took myself to the limit and won that gold and I sat in that ring and cried. I knew I had finally accomplished something that I could be proud about…

 

…But I wasn’t proud for long. NO I WASN’T! In the next month, I would lose both the European and World Championships to the same man, Landon Maddix, and I couldn’t even fathom…in my own mind…what was going on. I choked. I choked! DO YOU HEAR ME OUT THERE? ALAN CLARK CHOKED!

 

Did you feel the pain coursing through my body…and my mind…when Landon Maddix defeated me? No! Nobody did! And what did I do then…what did I do…I hugged him. I hugged him! I wanted to show my respect to everyone watching…but I had no reason to be respectful. It was the end of one era…and I went out a loser! Alan Clark went out a LOSER!”

 

The Disciple looks out into his crowd…

 

“He went out into the world and searched for pity! A weakened man staggering upon the rocks and looking to the sky and saying ‘why me? why me?’ when in his mind he knows exactly why…”

 

The image of Alan Clark stays frozen on the screen as Landon Maddix appears next to him, the two facing each other, their eyes almost lifeless as they stare through each other…and their voices echo out at each other…

 

“It was all because of you!”

 

“I don’t need your respect, Clark!”

 

“You’ve changed! You’ve changed!”

 

“It was you that changed!!”

 

“You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into!”

 

“I’ve taken your titles…now I take what’s left of your respect!”

 

Their voices merge together as one as one final cry is heard…

 

“THIS ISN’T OVER!

 

The images fade away, and all that is seen is the Disciple and his crowd. But moments later they fade away as well. The Disciple is left standing alone in the empty room, staring out over the silence before fading away himself.

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

 

The SmarkTron comes back to life, and the screen shows what looks to be a giant stage sitting in the middle of an arena. Yet the arena is empty. There are no fans, no cheers, no boos, nothing. As the camera zooms in on the stage, it becomes clear that someone is there…alone…seated in front of a microphone. As the camera gets closer and closer, the figure’s head raises and his eyes catch the screen. His voice is heard…

 

“Prepare to be rocked…”

 

CUE: Finger Eleven – “Famous”

 

As the music begins and the lyrics echo out, more and more images begin to flash across the screen, leaving the stage behind…

 

 

The lyrics serve as a hard-hitting backdrop of video…

 

Wait if everything's going great

 

Alan Clark stands alone in the ring, both championships raised high above his head, before his visage is replaced by that of Landon Maddix, the pose the same on the last Junior League show ever…

 

Can you remember a day to tell?

If someone should wish you well

 

Landon and Alan stand across from each other in the JL ring, sharing a smile and a respect-filled hug. Behind the image, the eyes of Alan Clark on the empty stage show total rage as the image fades…

 

Then there's a narrow chance

All I want from you my dear friend

I don't even want

I could show you how

 

The images continue, with Landon standing over Alan after the beating in November, the smile on his face larger than life itself as he stands with the rest of the House of Todd, showing the world that he does not need any of them…

 

And you say you've got that feeling again

It won't be long enough

But it may never end I know

 

Next to strobe across the screen is the Happiest Guy On Earth…his feelings changed and his life and mindset completely different, but in the back of his thoughts sits Landon Maddix and Todd Royal, there images haunting…but the most haunting images are yet to come…

 

Wait I thought I had something to say

I will remember someday

 

The images go to Alan’s point of view, as he stands in front of Landon Maddix, trying to get the words out to tell him exactly how he feels, but he barely can…

 

Fate found you buckling under the weight

And you thought you would last

 

To Landon’s point of view now, as he watches and participates freely in the complete destruction of Alan Clark, as he falls head-first into failure. A smile forms on his face as the images fade in and out across the screen, the music getting heavier and more intense…

 

Follow your answers

But you look so bitter

Who are you?

Are you famous?

Important?

Don't stop that glitter

 

In a picture straight from the six man tag team match, Alan stands across the ring from the House of Todd, but his eyes are firmly on Maddix, and the lyrics of the music perfectly capture his thought. Across the ring, Landon’s eyes are doing the same, and the words seem to have a different message for Alan.

 

All I wanted from you

Is all forgotten…

 

The music dies out and the screen fades to black momentarily before Landon Maddix and Alan Clark are shown once more, standing across from each other in the ring, thousands and thousands of screaming fans around them…

 

Above their heads…

 

Landon Maddix

 

Vs.

 

Alan Clark

 

 

EMPTY ARENA MATCH

 

 

 

SWF BATTLEGROUND 2004

 

As those words begin to appear, the crowd around the two men slowly fades away, leaving Maddix and Clark alone, surrounded by complete nothingness, and yet their stares stay locked on as the image slowly fades to nothingness.

 

 

----------

 

Back to the announcer’s table, as both Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley’s mouths hang wide open. Riley can barely speak, but is still able to get a few words out…

 

“Comet…d…d…did you see that?”

 

“I did, Robert.”

 

“Unbelievable.”

 

Both men’s eyes are still frozen to their monitors, but Comet is able to get one last phrase out, but barely.

 

“We’ll be, uhm, right back with the tag title ladder match…”

 

The announcers fade away, only to be replaced by the image of Alan Clark and Landon Maddix alone in the middle of a giant arena before everything fades to black…and another commercial break begins.

[the.weej 0]

Oakland is buzzing with excitement as Smarkdown’s theme thumps across the arena, bringing forth the sound of over nineteen thousand cheering fans as the show returns from commercial break! The main focus, however, is not what signs the crowd has in their possession, but rather… what looms ten feet above the ring - the Tag Team Title belts, gleaming as the spotlights pass over them!

 

“Welcome back, Citizens,” bellows the voice of Cyclone Comet, “and you are JUST in time for a ladder match for the Tag Team gold!”

 

The view moves away from the Tag Titles, getting a full view of ringside where several ladders have randomly been placed before cutting to our Dynamic Announcing Duo!

 

“The new SWF Tag Team Champions - The In Crowd - made a startling debut on Lockdown, capturing the Tag Titles in their first team match,” continues Comet. “And now on their second show, they will defend against the definition of tag team wrestling, Wild and Dangerous!”

 

“Definition of Tag Team wrestling, my ass,” spits Bobby. “If anything, Wild and Dangerous are the definition of cheating scoundrels.”

 

“Well you won’t be able to cry foul this time, Citizen Robert, as all four men will be in the ring at the same time. Any and all double teaming is perfectly legal tonight.”

 

“Legal double teams and in a match that clearly favors the challengers,” says Bobby. “Clear proof of more underhanded booking by Commissioner Zenon!”

 

“Enough with the conspiracy theories already,” returns Comet. “Commissioner Z has already stated that he is taking no sides in the SWF. Besides, you dingbat, all four men are pretty much on the same level; they’re all Cruiserweights, so this match is pretty even as far as that goes. And with that, let’s turn this one over to our ring announcer, Funyon, and get this match underway!”

 

Funyon steps into the center of the ring, stirring up this already excited crowd even further. “Ladies and gentlemen,” He says, “the following contest is a Ladder Match for the SMARTMARK WRESTLING FEDERATION WOOOOOORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!! The way this match is won is by using one of the ladders placed at ringside to reach the titles being suspended above the ring! The man to retrieve the belts wins the match for his team... And now, introducing first, the challengers… ”

 

The house lights slowly fade away, and suddenly, on the SmarkTron™…

 

“WILD!”

 

“DANGEROUS!”

 

The name of this team blast onto the screen as “Y.O.U.” by Method Man and Redman pounds-out across the arena! On the stage, a quick burst of pyro fires off before the two man team of Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous emerge from backstage!

 

“And would you just LISTEN to that,” shouts Comet, as the Arena in Oakland simply erupts! “This crowd is giving up a tremendous ovation here for Wild and Dangerous; the Kings of the Double Team!”

 

“Well, they’re going to need every double team they can get their hands on, Comet,” adds Riley, “because that’s about all they got!”

 

 

“At a total combined weight of four hundred thirty-one pounds, I give you Wildchild and the SWF Cruiserweight Champion, Johnny Dangerous, they are… WIIIIIILD! AAAAAAAAAAND DAAANGEROUUUUUS!"

Wildchild and Johnny slide into the ring and the pair immediately takes to a turnbuckle, pumping their arms out into the crowd. Wildchild points towards the titles then pantomimes a belt around his waist, while Johnny, with the Cruiserweight Title takes it from his waist and holds it out to the fans before handing it off to Referee Anthony Michael Hall for safe keeping.

 

Once more the lights dim and “Y.O.U.” fades away, leaving nothing more than a hiss on the speakers…

 

“And their opponents,” bellows Funyon.

 

BOOOOOOOM!!!

 

Suddenly, gold colored pyrotechnics TEAR across the stage as "Popular" by Nada Surf kicks up igniting a surge of booing from the fans! After the dust has settled and the smoke has cleared, the curtains part and out steps Mike Van Siclen and Todd Cortez with the cockiest damn grins scribbled across their faces!

 

“Weighing in at a combined weight of four-hundred and fifty-seven pounds, they are the current SWF WOOOORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIOOOOONS, “Urban Legend” Todd Cortez and the Spectacle, Mike Van Siclen! They are… THE IIIIIIN CROOOOOOOOOOOOWD!!!”

 

Van Siclen leads the brisk walk down the ramp, pointing his finger into the ring and shouting at its occupants, while Cortez walks at a leisure pace, cracking his knuckles and preparing to battle!

 

“If you remember correctly, Comet,” Riley notes, “Van Siclen told Wildchild several show’s ago that HE and a mystery partner were going to show Wild and Dangerous, then Champions, what Tag Team wrestling was all about! The fact that people like Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous were always in the spotlight will he was getting no attention for all his accomplishments had really grown under MVS’ skin.”

 

“Ahh… your trip down memory lane has in fact jolted my brain,” says Comet. “That was also the same fateful night where Wild and Dangerous fell to the brute strength of the Unholy Trinity.”

 

“Maybe there will be hope for you yet, Comet. Anyway, Van Siclen didn’t get to take the titles from Wild and Dangerous, but the In Crowd did take the titles as foretold, and tonight, Comet… TONIGHT, Mike Van Siclen, along with his partner Todd Cortez, can make GOOD on his word by successfully defending the Tag Team Championship against those two scoundrels Wild and Dangerous and walk into Battleground as the Champions!”

 

"Wildchild hasn't been on SWF television since they lost the Tag Team Titles to the Trinity," notes Comet, "and ever since then, he's had the almost singluar focus of getting his hands on Mike Van Siclen!"

 

"That could work against him," replies Bobby. "If he's obsessed with trying to get revenge on Van Siclen, that means that he's not going to be concentrating on winning the match, which will make it all that much easier for the In Crowd to retain tonight!"

 

As if he could hear Riley's words, Johnny grasps Wildchild's shoulders, imploring him to try to keep a handle on his emotions, and focus on their ultimate goal of regaining the Tag Team Championships. Wildchild nods in agreement as Cortez and Van Siclen climb up the steel steps to enter the ring, but as soon as the Spectacle places one foot on the ring apron, all of his self-control flies out the window! Breaking free of his partner's grip, the Human Hurricane streaks across the ring, diving over the top rope and extends his body as he crashes into Van Siclen...

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

... Knocking them both to the arena floor with a tremendous cross-body block! Cortez looks down and behind him to check on his partner...

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

... Giving the Barracuda enough time to rush across the ring and grab him by the hair, yanking him over top rope and into the ring! Referee Hall alertly orders the timekeeper to start the match, and then deftly dives out of the ring.

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

"This match is underway," shouts Comet, "and Wildchild gets it off to a fast start, as he makes a beeline for Van Siclen!"

 

 

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

 

Wildchild hammers away at Van Siclen's face with a volley of fierce right hands, before pulling him to his feet and grabbing him by the wrist, whipping him across the arena floor, but the Spectacle reverses easily, launching him towards the barricade instead. Wildchild leaps into the air as he begins to run out of real estate to land with both feet on the barricade, and then springs back off, twisting around to face Van Siclen as the Spectacle rushes to approach him, and wraps his legs around Mike's neck before arching his body backwards...

 

 

CRUNCH!

 

 

... Propelling Van Siclen forward, and crumpling his neck against the barricade with a sensational rana! Inside the ring, Johnny grabs Cortez by the wrist and whips him across the ring, lowering his head as he bounces off the ropes...

 

 

WHACK!

 

 

... But the Urban Legend stuns him with a strong clubbing forearm! Cortez falls back into a ready position as Johnny pops back up in pain, and then thrusts his foot forward sharply to deliver a devastating superkick, but the Barracuda ducks at the last second, and knocks Cortez off-balance with a shotei!

 

"What a tremendous battle between Johnny Dangerous and Todd Cortez inside the ring, as Wildchild takes his frustration out on Mike Van Siclen out on the floor!" Wildchild pulls Van Siclen to his feet and drags him back towards the ring apron as Johnny whips Cortez to the ropes inside the ring. The Bahama Bomber leaves Van Siclen standing in front of the ring as he ducks down underneath the ring apron to pull out plunder. As he is rummaging underneath the ring, his partner backpedals towards the edge of the ring as he anticipates Cortez rebounding off the ropes. Lowering his shoulder at the last second, the Barracuda propels Cortez into the air...

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

... And over the top rope, where he crashes into his stunned tag team partner outside the ring!

 

 

JOHN-NY!

JOHN-NY!

JOHN-NY!

JOHN-NY!

 

"What a heads-up maneuver by the Barracuda," exclaims Comet. "He launched Cortez over the top rope, and right into his partner!" Wildchild, who finally pops up from underneath the ring with a chair in hand, turns around to look at Johnny's handiwork, and then grins happily at his partner. Sliding the chair underneath the bottom rope, he then walks over to Van Siclen and grabs him by the head, leading him over to the ring and sliding him underneath the ropes as well.

 

"Wild and Dangerous have Van Siclen all alone in the ring," shouts Comet. "It looks like it's time for some vintage double teaming!" Johnny and Wildchild each grab Van Siclen by a wrist and launch him into a neutral corner.

 

BANG!

 

The Spectacle crashes out of the corner forcefully, and staggers back across the ring, where the challengers each hook one of their arms underneath his and snatch him off of the canvas, as though delivering a double-hiptoss. However, instead of depositing Van Siclen back onto the mat, Wild and Dangerous step towards the opposite corner as they follow through on the hiptoss motion, depositing the Spectacle in a seated position on the top turnbuckle.

 

"What do you suppose they have in mind," wonders Comet, as the challengers grab Van Siclen by his trunks and immediately lift him back off of the turnbuckle...

 

 

CRUNCH!

 

 

... Before slamming him back into the ring with a modified sheer drop double-powerbomb, slamming him awkardly on his neck!

 

 

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

 

"What a tremendous powerbomb by the challengers," exclaims Comet. "The Spectacle took the brunt of that on his neck!"

 

"And with Cortez apparently still down," adds Riley, "the belts appear to be theirs for the taking; but they'd better not waste any time, because they're probably not going to get a better opportunity than this!" Johnny motions to Wildchild to go after the ladders, and makes his way to the edge of the ring to exit, but instead of accompanying his partner, the Caribbean Cruiser turns his attention back to the Spectacle, pulling him to his feet and doubling him over at the waist, before stepping in front of his rival and reaching back to lock his arms around Van Siclen's.

 

"Johnny wants to go after the Tag Team Titles," says Comet, "but Wildchild still has a score to settle with Mike Van Siclen! It looks like he's going for the Wild Ride!" Johnny, upon realizing that Wildchild is still in the ring, turns around to see his partner preparing to deliver his finisher to the Spectacle.

 

"Come on, 'Nic," he shouts. "Later for that, man! I need your help to get the..."

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

With Johnny suitably distracted, the recovered Todd Cortez sneaks up behind him and wraps his arms around the Barracuda's waist, lifting him up off the ground and slamming him back into the padded arena floor with a bone-crunching Backdrop Driver!

 

"Brilliant," exclaims Riley. "I told you that Wildchild's obsession was going to come back to bite them, and it has!" Wildchild, seeing his partner in distress, releases the Spectacle and rushes to the corner nearest Cortez, leaping to the top turnbucke as the Urban Legend returns to his feet and propelling himself outside the ring...

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

... Somersaulting forward as he grabs the unsuspecting Cortez by the back of his cortex, and slams him face-first into the concrete floor with a flipping neck snap from the top rope!

 

 

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

 

 

"Whiplash," screams Comet, "Whiplash from the top! Wildchild fell from the heavens like Bellerophon and struck Cortez down with a phenomenal Whiplash!" With his priorities seeming back in order, Wildchild begins to make his way back towards the edge of the ring...

 

WHAM!

 

 

... But the Spectacle suddenly springs into action, darting across the ring and diving feet-first at the Bahama Bomber, to nail him in the face with a baseball slide! Wildchild stumbles backwards into the barricade as Van Siclen pulls himself to his feet, stepping out onto the ring apron before the Tropical Tumbler can react...

 

 

SPLASH!

 

 

... And leaping onto the middle rope before springing backwards out to the floor, crashing into Wildchild with a tremendous Asai moonsault!

 

"Great ring awareness on the part of Van Siclen," says Riley, as the Spectacle pulls Wildchild to his feet and drags him over to the ring, rolling him underneath the bottom rope. "Now you're about to see why Mike Van Siclen was the real feature attraction in Catch-22!" Van Siclen slides into the ring and gets to his feet, before pulling the Caribbean to his feet as well with a standard arm wrench then steps forward, whipping him across the ring. Wildchild hits the ropes and SPRINGS~ back towards the Spectacle just as Mike dashes forward, looking for a clothesline…

 

… But Wildchild ducks down at the last moment, sailing right under Mike’s arm. He quickly pops up from behind Van Siclen, latching onto Mike’s neck and bringing him down with a neck breaker!

 

WHAM!

 

“A smart counter by the Wildchild,” says Comet, “and once more Mike Van Siclen’s neck becomes the prime target of the attack!”

 

“What a stupid plan of attack,” snipes Bobby. “Wildchild and Johnny can beat Van Siclen’s neck until it’s turned into gelatin, and I guarantee you that it’s not going to stop him from climbing the ladder.”

 

Lying on the mat, Mike grabs both sides of his neck, grimacing in pain as Wildchild trails off to fetch one of the nearby ladders. He brings it in and places it directly underneath the title belts, gazing up at them as he adjusts the ladder, and finally… Wildchild has the ladder set and ready to go!

 

“But with all that time he spent fiddling with that damned ladder, Van Siclen’s had ample time to recover,” notes Bobby.

 

“Well what’s he doing heading to the corner,” questions Comet. “Wildchild could be up that ladder in less than two seconds!”

 

“He’s getting that chair, duh!”

 

Wildchild barely has one foot on the first rung of the ladder when a surge of booing forces him to swivel his head around, catching an eyeball full of Mike madly snickering as he picks up the chair! He hops down, and charges toward the corner, hoping his speed can get him there before Van Siclen can even figure out that he’s coming! However, that is not to be as Mike is more than aware, and as soon as the Bahama Bomber attempts his patented leg lariat, Van Siclen ducks down and floats around Wildchild, and then stabs the Caribbean in the gut with the edge of the chair, doubling him over! Mike drops the chair to the canvas, then ducks underneath the bent-over Wildchild, grabbing him by the legs as he stands up, and leaving the Tropical Tumbler dangling upside-down off his shoulders.

 

“Bombs away,” Bobby excitedly shouts. “Here comes the Van Slaminator!”

 

Mike then hauls the Wildchild off the mat, hovering him just above the steel chair, and…

 

CRUNCH!!!

 

DRIVES WILDCHILD HEADFIRST INTO THE CHAIR WITH A BACK-TO-BELLY PILEDRIVER!!

 

“VAN SLAMINATOR!”

 

“Since when does a Piledriver have a ‘Slamming’ sound effect,” ask Comet.

 

“Like I’m supposed to know,” Bobby replies. “Ask Van Siclen about it if you want, he made the move up! Anyway, I think that’s all she wrote for Mr. Dub-Cee, and with Johnny and Cortez still trying to recover on the outside, there is nothing to stop Mike from fetching those belts!”

 

“There is still plenty of time for Operative Dangerous to deal with Cortez,” counters the Masked Hero, “or just simply change his focus to MVS before getting to the belts.”

 

“Ha,” snorts Riley. “Johnny couldn’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag let alone Todd Cortez!”

 

Meanwhile, as if to make Bobby eat his words, the Barracuda recovers first, getting the upper hand on Cortez outside the ring!

 

“You were saying,” Comet asks with mock sweetness.

 

“Shut up!”

 

WHACK!

 

Johnny quickly thrusts a rapid series of Shotei Palmstrike’s into the Urban Legend’s forehead, blasting him right between the eyes!

 

WHACK!

WHACK!

WHACK!

 

Cortez staggers backward in a complete daze, but as he sees Dangerous closing the distance, he aimlessly swings his fist out…

 

… But Johnny ducks under the blow with relative ease as he wraps his inside arm around Cortez’s back then hikes his foot into the air, NAILING the Urban Legend’s skull with a Scorpion Kick!

 

CRACK!

 

“What a kick,” exclaims Comet, as Cortez goes teetering backward and tumbling over the steel steps. “That’ll take the starch out of you for sure!”

 

“What good is that going to do him though; Van Siclen is already half way up the ladder!”

 

Sure enough, as Bobby pointed out, Mike has made his way up the ladder with a starling quickness, which Johnny also notices. He takes off with a mad dash around the ring, stopping as he lines himself directly up with the side of the ladder…

 

“Hurry up, Johnny,” cries Comet, as Mike reaches the top and fumbles to grab hold of the belts - gently swaying back and forth. “He almost has them!”

 

With the booing reaching an all time high for the evening, Johnny reaches up, grabbing hold of the top rope and pulls himself up to the apron. He vaults to the top rope, and quickly SPRINGS~ off as Mike finally grabs hold of the title belts! Referee Anthony Michael Hall raises his arm up, ready to signal for the bell the second he seems those belts unclipped and the fans move to the edge of their seats, holding their breath…

 

 

WHAAAM!!

 

 

AND JOHNNY SLAMS BOTH FEET INTO THE SIDE OF THE LADDER WITH A DROP KICK THAT SENDS THE LADDER TOPPLING ON ITS SIDE!!

 

“TIMBEEEEEEER!”

 

“DEAR GOD, NO,” shrieks Riley. “And Van Siclen is holding for dear LIFE!”

 

The ladder falls onto the top rope, popping Mike off of it and… inadvertently he lands with his throat against the rope, nearly decapitating the poor fellow! He hits and pops up to his feet, grabbing onto his throat with both hands as he thrashes from side to side, utterly gagging in quite the sickening display!

 

“HO-LY SHIT!”

“HO-LY SHIT!”

“HO-LY SHIT!”

 

Johnny quickly rushes in, taking total advantage of the situation and hauls Mike onto his shoulders with a fireman’s carry takeover, then spins on his heel as he plummets backward…

 

“MIIIIIIIII… ”

 

 

SA-LAAAM!!

 

… And Johnny completely pulverizes Van Siclen neck and shoulders, slamming him into the canvas with his deadly finishing maneuver!

 

“MI Slam,” barks Comet, as Mike rolls to his side, going underneath the bottom rope and slowly drops to the floor like a sack of spoiled meat!

 

“Somebody call the police,” cries Bobby, “Mike Van Siclen has just been murdered in front of our very own eyes!”

 

“Johnny is the police,” replies Comet. “Sort of… in a way... Well... not really, I guess...”

 

Satisfied that Mike won’t be a problem for the rest of this match, Johnny goes to grab the ladder and reset it underneath the belts, ready to bring those titles back home! Unfortunately, and unbeknownst to him, Todd Cortez has managed to pull himself together enough to still put up a fight!

 

“Oh, don’t count on this one being over yet,” says Bobby. “Todd Cortez is on the move again!”

 

Johnny’s feet barely have the chance to touch the first step of the ladder before the Urban Legend sneaks in from behind and locks his hands around the Barracuda’s waist, stopping Dangerous in his tracks! He gives a quick tug to haul Johnny off the mat, but not before the Secret Agent slings an elbow back, nailing the Champion in the face and freeing himself from the attempted suplex!

 

“What a shot,” exclaims Comet, as Todd Cortez goes staggering backward and Dangerous gives chase. “All the training he endured as a Secret Agent pays off once again, as Johnny’s quick reflexes are second to none!”

 

Johnny grabs onto Cortez’s wrist, then turns to whip him across the ring… but SUDDENLY, the Urban Legend puts his foot down and reverses the whip, sending the Barracuda across the ring instead, and…

 

CRACK!

 

Right into the standing ladder, drawing a huge “OOOOH!” from the Oakland crowd! Johnny takes an aimless few steps backward, holding dearly to his face as Cortez storms across the ring from behind and the ladder timbers to the canvas! He nears Johnny and leaps into the air with a spin as he brings his foot out for a spinning heel kick…

 

WOOSH!!

 

… But out of nothing more than pure instinct, Johnny bellies down to the mat, and Todd’s foot goes coasting just BARELY over Dangerous’ head! Cortez lands on his feet, damning himself for missing a relatively easy kick for a man of his experience then spins back around towards the Barracuda as Johnny gets back to his feet. He stares at his opponent for a second, taking note of the fact that he is standing face to face with another master of the arts… once more… then after some quick thinking he ‘cast his line out’ towards the Barracuda as he assumes the standard Martial Art pose.

 

“The bait’s been cast,” says Comet, “but are the fish biting tonight?”

 

“What the hell is he doing,” mutters Bobby, gawking into the ring with a disgusted look. “This is no place for some Kung Fu showdown!”

 

Johnny hesitates for a moment, but with the crowd’s encouragement, he replies to Cortez’s challenge as he fluidly moves into a martial arts pose himself, prompting a flurry of cheers!

 

“Well I think that is exactly what we are about to get,” Comet replies. “We have two men here who have studied extensively into their respective Martial Art, and finally they have someone in the SWF to take on in today’s KUNG FU CHALLENGE~!”

 

“Oh, for the love of Todd, shut up.”

 

“Which Todd… Cortez or Royal?”

 

In the distant background, Wildchild staggers to his feet and Cortez’s sees this out of the corner of his eye. Quickly he steps in, hoping to thrash Johnny before Wildchild has fully recovered and Johnny moves in as well. The pair circle one another sweeping their hands out in front of them while blowing breaths of air from their mouths. Cortez moves in first, faking with a punch, and Johnny answers with a standard sidekick, falling into the Urban Legend’s trap as Todd drops down to the mat, spreading his legs out in a 'splits' position, before grabbing the bottom of Dangerous’ leg with one hand and…

 

WHACK!

 

CRACKS the crown jewels of Johnny Dangerous with a ferocious European Uppercut!

 

“OOOOH!!”

 

“Now that’s the kind of ‘Kung Fu challenge’ I like to see,” cackles Riley, as Cortex releases the Barracuda’s leg, letting it fall limply to the mat and Johnny’s mouth just drops. He slowly curls into a fetal position as the Urban Legend gets back to his feet. “Todd Cortez just goaded Johnny into the Martial Art showdown then flipped the tables on him completely. Now THAT’S what I call smart tactics!”

 

Unfortunately for the Barracuda, he isn’t able to put much resistance up as Cortez snatches his neck and backs him up a few steps… right behind the fallen ladder. Todd drapes one arm of the Barracuda over his shoulder, then grabs on to Johnny’s midsection and lifts him up for a choke-slam…

 

WHAAAAAM!!!

 

THEN PASTES JOHNNY BACK-FIRST INTO THE LADDER AS HE SITS OUT, POWER-BOMB STYLE, WITH A MIRACLE ECSTASY BOMB!!

 

“URBAN ASSAULT,” cheers Bobby, “and right into that ladder! Boy, I think Johnny left a permanent impression into that one… maybe I can sell it on E-Bay or something.”

 

“Cortez may have dispatched of Operative Dangerous, but his partner, Wildchild, is still in this thing,” Comet says. “And here he comes now!”

 

But, just to let the other side pull their foot out of their mouth for once, just as Comet predicts the coming of the Child, the Bahama Bomber drops to his knees, rubbing the top of his head.

 

“… Or at least he will in a second… after he’s gathered all his pieces again.”

 

Cortez opts out of dealing with the Caribbean, figuring he can retrieve the belts before Wildchild has the chance to interject himself into the Urban Legend’s plan, and goes to get the ladder. He rolls the ladder to the side, dumping Johnny’s carcass off of it then takes it to the center of the ring and sets it up. Once he has a solid ground, he gives it one good shake just to make sure it’ll still hold up then begins to make his way up.

 

“Well,” says Bobby, smacking his lips as if to say ‘I told you so’, “I hope you got enough money for all the White Castle’s I’m downing tonight, Comet!”

 

“What are you talking about, Citizen Robert?”

 

“Oh, don’t play dumb now! Just because we were on commercial break when we made the bet for this match, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen!”

 

“Do you have any witnesses,” crows Comet.

 

Realizing that he’ll never get one over the Masked Crusader, Bobby just sighs in despair.

 

In the ring, Cortez is half way up the ladder and feeling rather good about his chances when all of a sudden… a jolt is sent up the ladder, slightly shaking it. He looks down and his eyes widen as Wildchild, back on his feet, is staring back at him from the opposite side of the ladder!

 

“S(Bleep)t,” cries Bobby, and that’s about all he can say as Wildchild begins making his way up his side of the ladder!

 

“It’s a race to the finish, but who’ll get there first?”

 

“Please, Cortez has a good lead already.”

 

“And that would usually be enough, Robert, but this is Wildchild we're talking about here! Citizen Cortez appears to have underestimated the Bahaman's speed!”

 

Cortez reaches the top first, and hastily grabs at the belts! He grabs hold of them, but just as he does, Wildchild slams his fist into the Urban Legend’s gut, knocking him down a whole step on the ladder! The Bahaman goes for a second shot, this time targeting the face, and nails Todd right in the kisser, rocking his head back! Cortez begins to feel himself falling backward…

 

 

BUT NO! HE FRANTICALLY REACHES OUT FOR THE LADDER, KEEPING HIMSELF FROM GOING ANY FURTHER!!

 

“Close call there,” reports Comet. “I nearly thought he was a goner there!”

 

Cortez quickly retaliates to Wildchild’s strikes, nailing him in the face with a Shotei Palmstrike!

 

WHACK!

 

The blow nearly causes Wildchild to see stars, but still he holds on and takes two more Shotei’s to his noggin!

 

WHACK!

WHACK!

 

The crowd holds on to the edge of their seats for dear life as they watch the Bahama Bomber sway back and forth, and slowly his hands begin to give way…

 

… But before he does, Cortez decides to give him one last blow for the road! He grabs Wildchild be the sides of his head, and pulls him back against the ladder, looking to drill the Caribbean’s face into the top of the ladder and send him packing! He pulls Wildchild’s head up, and with every fan in the arena dripping with hope…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KA-RAACK!!

 

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!”

 

“BAH ZEUS,” exclaims Comet, as low and behold... at the LAST possible SECOND, Johnny sneaks in behind Cortez with the steel chair left so handily in the ring and SLAMS it into the Urban Legend’s back! “I was so focused on the battle atop the ladder I didn’t even see Johnny sneak in! What impeccable timing by the Secret Agent!”

 

It’s all Todd Cortez can do just to hold and prevent himself from falling as he releases Wildchild’s head. Wildchild, exhausted, flattens up against the ladder and simply chooses to hold on. Cortez on the other hand knows that it is do or die, and with all the determination he can muster up, he tries as hard as he can to shove the pain away and go for the belts! He makes one shaky move of his arm, and that’s when Johnny advances a few steps up the ladder…

 

KA-RAAAACK!!

 

… And once more the Barracuda unloads the steel plated chair into Cortez’s back, this time stopping him dead in his tracks… mind and body both!

 

“And another shot to the back with that chair,” cries Bobby. “This may not be illegal, but it sure in the hell is CHEAP!”

 

“Oh, so now that the shoe’s on the other foot it’s cheap,” says Comet. “You were sure singing the praises of Van Siclen giving Wildchild a Van Slaminator on that exact same chair earlier.”

 

Johnny slings the chair to the mat, and turns back towards the ladder - climbing up right behind the Urban Legend and wrapping his arms around Cortez’s waist. He stalls for a moment as the crowd rises with enthusiasm, then shoves off the ladder with his feet, ripping the Urban Legend from it as he falls backwards, plunging to the ring, and…

 

WHAAAAM!!

 

DRIVES HIM INTO THE MAT WITH A SICKENING GERMAN SUPLEX, FOLDING TODD CORTEZ UP LIKE AN ACCORDIAN!

 

“Son of a b(Bleep)h,” curses Riley. “Johnny’s just determined to kill off both members of the In Crowd tonight!”

 

“Yeah, but he hit pretty hard himself,” reports Comet, as Johnny rolls back and fro on the mat, writhing in pain.

 

“NIC!” shouts Johnny, in between gritted teeth, and hoping to get his partner moving. Finally, the Wildchild’s arm reaches out, grabbing the top of the ladder to a surge of cheers!

 

“He’s moving,” shouts Comet, “and Wildchild is in perfect position to fetch those title belts!”

 

“But will he be able to resist the urge to go after Van Siclen again,” wonders Bobby, pointing towards the side of the ring. The Spectacle, after having a fair amount of time to gather his bearings, or at least the one bearing he could find rolling around ringside, reaches up to grab the side of the ring and pull himself in. “Mike is on the move!”

 

On the ladder, Wildchild reaches to the top with his other arm, and inches up the side ever so slightly. Van Siclen, still on the outside, reaches out to grab the bottom rope… and drags himself up to his feet.

 

“Come on, Wildchild,” urges Comet, “Van Siclen is almost upon you! You’re already there… I know the temptation to go after him is great, but just reach up and grab those belts!”

 

However, with Wildchild seemingly gripped by indecision, the Spectacle makes his decision much easier, for as Mike tries to stand up, the gripping pain running rampant through his body spikes in his neck, forcing an arm to tend to it… and ultimately… causing him to lose his footing (or handling, rather), and he drops back down to his knees, unable to push himself any further.

 

“NO,” cries Bobby. “That’s it! I’m calling for a disqualification here! Mike had those belts before Johnny interfered, and now Mike’s body won’t allow him to go any further cause of it!”

 

“There is no disqualification, Citizen Robert, and that’s the way this match works,” replies Comet. “Beside, weren’t you chirping about the strikes to Van Siclen’s neck having no effect in this match?”

 

“Go to hell, Comet!”

 

Using the last bit of gas in the tank, the Bahama Bomber steps up to the final rung of the ladder and then looks down at the Spectacle before reaching up and grabbing hold of the Tag Team Titles!

 

“HE HAS IT,” Comet ecstatically shouts, as the Caribbean unhooks the belts from the hoop and Oakland goes completely ballistic! Referee Anthony Michael Hall quickly signals for the bell, finally having something to do this match! “BY THE MIGHTY ARM OF HERCULES, WILDCHILD HAS BROUGHT THE BELTS HOME!”

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

“Y.O.U.” pounds out from the speakers for the second time this evening as Wildchild, holding both belts in hand, lets out a sigh of relief. Slowly he begins making his way down the ladder, and the lightly salted snack rises from his ringside seat, microphone in hand.

 

“The winner of this match,” bellows Funyon, “and NEEEEEEEEEW SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… of the WOOOOOOOORLD, WIIIIIIIIILD!! AAAAAAAND DANGEROUUUUUUS!!!!”

 

“I can’t believe this,” pouts Bobby. “With the first impression the In Crowd made on Lockdown, I was for sure that they would be solid Champions for a long time coming!”

 

“They just might be still,” adds Comet. “Given the bad blood between these two teams, I wouldn't be surprised if they meet again real soon! But for now, it’s Wild and Dangerous leading the pack once again, as they regain the Tag Team Titles here in Oakland tonight!”

 

Wildchild hands off one of the belts to his partner, Johnny Dangerous, and the two embrace. Several feet away, Todd Cortez finds his way up to his knees, catching first sight of Wild and Dangerous with the belts then shakes his head in disappointment. He knows that there will be another day, and he’ll be better prepared for this team next time, so all he does is watch the two men celebrate. Wildchild and Johnny reset the ladder in the center of the ring, and then each climb a side of it. The Barracuda positions himself about three-quarters of the way up the ladder and extends his arms in a crucifix pose, holding one of his title belts in each hand, and the Bahama Bomber climbs a few rungs higher behind him, using his left hand to support himself against the top of the ladder as he holds the Tag Team Title belt overhead with his right hand.

 

"They've done it," exclaims Comet. "Wild and Dangerous have reached the top of the tag team mountain once again! What a way to go into Battleground!" Cortez helps Van Siclen to his feet, and the Spectacle glares inside the ring, seething with rage at seeing Wildchild and Johnny holding 'his' belts...

 

"This isn't over," he mutters to himself...

 

 

As we:

FADE OUT

[the.weej 0]

The crowd rumbles and cheers as SWF Smarkdown comes back on the air. But the sound is muted, for we don't have a clear view of the ringside area from here. We're in the Commissioner's office, where the interim Commissioner is sitting. Alexander Zenon looks haggard, the stresses of his job clearly getting to him in more ways than one. It's to his credit he doesn't jump out of his seat when the door abruptly slams open. The seven foot figure there has more emotion on his face than usual.

 

"Alex! Thank the gods you're here." Terrence Bailey says, swinging the door shut and stepping across the intervening space quickly.

 

"Terrence... what is it?" Zenon mumbles, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Terrence slams his hands down on the table, squeezing something in his right hand.

 

"Call the match off. I can't do it."

 

"What? Are you sick? You're not injured..." Zenon looks up at the towering Australian. And sees the nervousness in his eyes.

 

"Call it off." the Australian repeats. "I can't wrestle Kibagami. Not now... not ever..."

 

"You're scared." Zenon responds with an almost snide smile. "Of him."

 

"THAT'S FUCKING NONSENSE AND YOU KNOW IT!" the Australian roars. Zenon stares, stunned into silence by the sheer volume of Terrence's voice. The big man takes a deep breath, almost shivering as he stares at the interim Commissioner almost hauntedly.

 

"I don't have any problem with it, but He does. He absolutely HATES Nathaniel. Even after He and Thoth spiked him with a Rage Unleashed, He still hates him. If I get in that ring with Kibagami tonight, I won't be wrestling, Zenon. It'll be Janus."

 

The interim Commissioner tilts his head, staring up at the Australian. Terrence again squeezes something in his right hand and stares back down, awaiting Zenon's answer. Alex makes a show of coughing and adjusting his clothes, and rubbing the bridge of his nose, before meeting the Anti-Heel Machine's gaze. Finally taking a breath, Alex opens his mouth.

 

"I don't have a problem with it. I'll even change your music for you."

 

"...." the Anti-Heel Machine looks grimly at the commissioner, trembling, and then he slams his right hand into the table, glaring. "ARE YOU SOME SORT OF FOOL, ZENON!?"

 

"No." Alex replies sharply. "I'm the Commissioner, and what I say goes around here."

 

Terrence goes ominously quiet, and slowly opens his right hand. Within it lies a black rectangular case, that he lies almost reverently on the table. As Alex watches, the Anti-Heel Machine opens the case and lifts something from them, turning away and lifting his hands to his face. He lowered his hands, still trembling, and then slowly turned around once more.

 

Blood red eyes stared back at Alexander Zenon.

 

"I don't take responsibility for the damage I do to Nathaniel Kibagami, Zenon." Janus growls darkly. "Do you understand? I am going to go into that ring tonight, and I am going to BREAK him. I will drop him on his head, I will pound his spine and ribs. I will completely DESTROY him. I will do whatever it takes to ensure he stays down. I hope you are willing to deal with the consequences of that."

 

With a growl, the Hell Machine turns his back on the interim Commissioner and slams the door into the wall when he opens it. Surprisingly, he lets the door swing closed behind him, leaving Alexander Zenon alone with his thoughts. Grimacing, Alex rubs the bridge of his nose and looks at the empty contact lens case still sitting on his desk. He doesn't say a word as we fade to black.

[the.weej 0]

SWF Smarkdown is back on the air in three.

 

Two.

 

One.

 

"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

 

The cheering of the fans is the first thing that's heard as SWF Smarkdown comes back on the air! The cameras pan around the Arena in Oakland California, catching the fans bustling at ringsides to those who are so high up they're nearly in the rafters! They cheer and scream, clearly excited to be here, and they're all waving their usual plethora of signs. From "Fear The River Dragon" to "MVS Still Sucks", from "Ichiban Supporter" to "Notoriously Lame!", the signs are also out in force. The pirouetting cameras catch many of these signs as well as others, as they pan down towards the announce table. Everyone's favourite duo of announcers is waiting patiently as the camera moves to focus on them.

 

"Welcome BACK citizens and fans! I'm CYCLOOOOOOONE COMET!" the superhero exults.

 

"And I'm Bobby Riley." the ambiguously gay co-announcer adds.

 

"We've had one fantastic night so far! We've seen Citizens Aecas and Night bloody the arena in a brutal hardcore bout, and Wild and Dangerous take on the In Crowd in a ladder match! As well as that, we have a tag team main event with Citizens Flesher and Duran teaming against Citizens Onita and Matthews!"

 

"Which of course the Notorious Superiors will win."

 

"Perhaps, Robert. But up next we have a match that looks to almost be history repeating itself, with the none-too-successful returning Citizen Kibagami taking on Citizen Bailey."

 

"Something tells me, Comet, this match won't be pretty. Kibagami, whatever you want to say about him being pure, is probably number one on that psycho Janus' hitlist."

 

As Comet acknowledges Riley's comment with a worried nod, the camera pans towards the ring. Funyon stands in the middle dressed as always in a natty looking tuxedo, and he lifts his microphone, voice bellowing into the air.

 

"The following contest is a SINGLES match, scheduled for ONE fall!"

 

Even as Funyon's voice trails off, fog is beginning to billow from the entranceway. The haunting notes that begin Nevermore's "The River Dragon Has Come" echo through the air, as the Smarktron crackles and stutters, showing nothing but static. The fans waited with baited breath, knowing what's coming. The sound of the song begins to change, and as the distortion kicks in...

 

*BAM!*

 

...every light in the arena flares bright white! The fans shy away, screaming and shielding their eyes while cheering. As the light clears, the familiar burning red ankh appears on the Smarktron, prompting the crowd to raise their cheering a little more.

 

"Today, the warning came in the flood..."

 

As the song begins, a familiar figure steps through the light and the fog. Ignoring the sound of the cheering fans, the River Dragon's expression is grim. The lights return to their usual level as Kibagami strides down the ramp, rolling into the ring and climbing the turnbuckles. He poses with his arms in the familiar crucifix position as Funyon makes the announcement.

 

"Introducing first, hailing from Phoenix Arizona! Standing at six-foot-five and weighing two-hundred-and-sixty-five pounds! The River Dragon... NATHAAAAAANIEL KIBAAAAGAMIIIIIIIIIII!"

 

The fans roar as the sound of Nevermore fades away, and Kibagami jumps off the turnbuckles, striding across the ring. Leaning with his back on the ropes, he keeps his eyes on the entrance ramp. The former Silent One knows who his opponent is, and he's not looking forward to this encounter. The lights begin to dim, but they suddenly drop completely out. The fans' cheering fades off into a confused silence as blue pyrotechnics fountain up on either side of the ramp, showering it with azure sparks. And then the song begins, softly.

 

"Consumed with memories...

That preceded today..."

 

This isn't Killswitch Engage's "When Darkness Falls".

 

"Given a chance to bereave...

Life that's slipping AWAAAAY!"

 

This is Fear Factory's "Resurrection".

 

And that can only mean one thing.

 

"Robert, I was hoping Citizen Bailey wasn't telling the truth earlier tonight." Comet winces.

 

"Well guess what, spandex boy? He was telling the truth, and now Nathan's in a lot of deep <bleep>" Riley chortles, the censors catching his coarse language.

 

As the familiar white-trenchcoated figure stalks from back stage, he tosses his trenchcoat away in mid-stride. The camera picks up the red gleam in the seven foot Australian's eyes. The way he moves, the way his eyes see nothing but the man who is in the ring. Funyon even calls out correctly, with a quaver in his voice, as the monster strides down the ramp.

 

"Hailing from Sydney Australia, his opponent! At seven-foot-two and weighing three hundred and sixty pounds! THE SMARTMARKS WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAMPION! THE HELL MACHINE! JAAAAAAAANUUUUUUUS!"

 

The crowd lets out a thunderous boo at the announcement, and Janus strides through the shower of blue light to stop at the bottom of the ramp to throw his arms into the air. Blue fire explodes from the turnbuckles, and as the lights return to normal, the Hell Machine rolls under the bottom rope and rises to his feet. He cracks his neck from side to side and points at Kibagami, who stares right back evenly. Between them, referee Matthew Kivell looks mildly nervous. The Hell Machine and the River Dragon both know what they're up against, and they stare at each other, waiting. And then Kivell finally has the courage to wave for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

The River Dragon and the Hell Machine collide almost instantly, locking hands in a collar-and-elbow tieup. With the strength advantage on his side, Janus begins slowly starts to force Kibagami down. But Nathan is far from helpless, and starts bringing his knees up sharply into the seven foot Australian's abdomen. Janus grunts in pain, as one particularly sharp knee doubles him over. The River Dragon applies a headlock, then turns side on to the behemoth and hooks an arm and leg, pulling his opponent up and then back-first into the ground with a russian legsweep! He then rolls into a mounted position and lifts his arm, before delivering a stiff chop to the Hell Machine's throat. Janus makes a strangled sound as the River Dragon lifts his arm and delivers another stiff chop, but before a third blow can strike home, the Hell Machine's right arm comes off the mat to catch Kibagami in the side of the face with a Knuckle Bomb!

 

"Citizens Janus and Kibagami will be pulling no punches here tonight, folks..." Comet murmurs.

 

"That's a good thing, because Janus will tear that washed up has-been limb from limb." Riley snorts.

 

As the River Dragon rolls onto the mat and holds his jaw, the Hell Machine sits up and rubs his throat with a cough. He rises to his feet and immediatley leans on the ropes, before bouncing back and extending a huge leg. But the legdrop finds nothing but mat as the Slaughterer rolls out of the way, and Kibagami is quicker on his feet than Janus is. He hits the ropes as the Hell Machine begins to climb upright again, swinging out his arm for a deadly Burning Lariat that misses its mark by a hair as the seven foot Australian lowers his head. He turns around and lifts his boot for the expected return of Nathaniel Kibagami, and the River Dragon runs right into the big boot as his yakuza kick catches Janus right in the jaw! The crowd ooos as the Hell Machine stumbles back while Nathan hits the mat, climbing back to his feet as quickly as possible.

 

"YAAAAAAAAAKUZA KICK!" Comet bellows.

 

"And a big boot." Riley says more calmly.

 

Seeing his foe is off balance, the Slaughterer moves in, ducking under a lariat attempt. He catches the arm and turns his body, and with a grimace on his face, he executes a perfect ippon seionage! Janus crashes to the mat as Kibagami completes the shoulder throw, and the River Dragon immediatley drops a knee into the elbow of the arm he still holds. He grinds said knee into the elbow of the Hell Machine, stopping only when the giant begins to blindly reach over to grab him. Kibagami retreats a short distance, watching from behind as Janus sits up again. The Australian slowly begins to rise to his vertical base, unable to see where his opponent is. Stealthily, the River Dragon comes up behind the Hell Machine and reaches up with an arm, and drops him down with a hard reverse DDT! But he then lifts Janus' head off the canvas a little, and cranks back with a dragon sleeper!

 

"Dragon DDT by Citizen Kibagami! If he wants any chance at defeating his opponent tonight, he's going to have to pick a part and stick with it. Considering how the dragon sleeper works the neck..."

 

"Since when have you seen JANUS go down to a submission, Comet?" Riley smirks.

 

"I believe the tapes show him tapping out to Citizen Crow, Robert." Comet replies.

 

"...Shut up."

 

As Kibagami cranks back on the dragon sleeper, Kivell asks Janus if he wants to give up. In response, the Hell Machine simply snarls gutturally and attempts to sit up further. The Slaughterer lets him, driving a knee into the sitting monster's spine and continuing to wrench back on the sleeper. Slowly bending his legs, Janus tries to stand up. Sensing his predicament, the River Dragon pulls hard on the sleeper, elicting a yell from the beginning-to-fade monster. As Janus begins to gradually push himself up straight, the River Dragon releases his sleeper and backs off, leaving the Hell Machine shaking his head hard. For the second time, Kibagami begins to sneak up on his opponent, but this time Janus knows he's there and spins around with a rolling lariat attempt.

 

But for the second time, the former Silent One avoids the arm, grabbing it and turning his body in preparation for another ippon seionage. But the Hell Machine is having none of it, and snaps his head down, cracking it into the back of Kibagami's with a headbutt! As Nathan stumbles forward, Janus pulls his arm free and thrusts it and his other arm under the River Dragon's, locking his hands against Kibagami's neck in a full nelson. And in one hard, smooth motion, the Hell Machine snaps his body over and back, taking Nathaniel Kibagami on a trip to the Sydney Harbour Bridge! The Slaughter's head hits the canvas hard as Janus bridges for the first pinfall attempt of the match.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO...KICKOUT!!

 

The crowd bursts into life, letting out thunderous boos at the Hell Machine as he releases the bridge and begins climbing upright.

 

"COME ON NAY-THAN!"

"WE WANT TER-RENCE!"

"COME ON NAY-THAN!"

"WE WANT TER-RENCE!"

 

At the announce table, Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley watch Janus stalk around the ring, and lift a giant middle finger to the crowd. He finally takes up position in one of the corners, and hunches down in a familiar position. Those blood-red eyes zero on in the form of his opponent, as Nathaniel Kibagami grimaces and starts pushing himself up, holding the back of his neck with one hand.

 

"Citizen Kibagami is remarkably tough, Robert, but Citizen Janus is horribly powerful AND knows of Citizen Kibagami's neck problem!"

 

"Yes, but we've seen what attacking his neck does to the washed up old fogey! We might actually see a decent fight here!" Riley chortles. "Get him, Janus!"

 

The Hell Machine definitely seems to oblige the ambiguously gay co-announcer, bursting out of the corner with a full head of steam as he charges towards the slowly turning River Dragon. And Kibagami misses his chance to counterattack, taking a three hundred and sixty pound shoulder to the ribs that drives him all the way back into the turnbuckle! Janus presses his shoulder into the ribs of the Slaughterer, before moving back and straightening up. He takes a step or two back, apparently measuring his opponent, then draws his right arm back in preparation for a thunderous Knuckle Bomb.

 

But as Janus swings the mighty punch at his opponent's head, the eyes of the River Dragon come out of their haze of pain and snap into focus. Dropping and rolling past the Hell Machine, Kibagami avoids having his head pulverised, and the ring ropes shake as Janus pounds nothing but padded turnbuckle. He shakes the pain out of his hand before he turns around, looking for his opponent. The Slaughterer is waiting, however, and announces his presence the best way he knows how.

 

*CRACK*

 

"Citizen Kibagami certainly knows how to kick, Robert." Comet winces at the sound of boot on flesh.

 

*CRACK*

 

"I'll agree Comet... but like that will stop someone like Janus..." Riley murmurs.

 

The first stiff kick strikes the Hell Machine in the ribcage, and drives him back into the turnbuckle. The second kick makes Janus jerk and wrap his arms around his ribs, leaving Nathaniel with the opening he needs. He plants one foot on the bottom rope, his hands on the top, and leaps into the air with a beautiful springboard gamengiri! The hard kick smashes right into the side of the Hell Machine's head, and one can almost see the stars swirling around his noggin. The crowd claps and cheers for the River Dragon, who doesn't pause to acknowledge the fans. He grabs one huge arm and whips his bulky opponent out of the corner and into the ropes, hitting the opposite ropes himself...

 

...and SCORING with a DEADLY, VICIOUS, NECK-CRACKING, BONE-RATTLING BURNING LARRRRRRIAAAATOOOOOO! The sheer impact of the move makes the Hell Machine slam into the canvas, eyes rolling back in his head. The Slaughterer's momentum carries him into the ropes, where he leans for several moments to catch his breath. Behind him, the Hell Machine's eyes are still rolled back in his head, but they abruptly roll forward again. As consciousness returns... the monster rolls over slowly and begins to climb up to his feet. The gasps and yells of the fans warn Kibagami however, and the River Dragon turns around to see Janus halfway to his feet with a snarl on his face. Unintimidated, Nathaniel pivots and slams a kick straight into the Australian's face, and while he's dazed, cinches on a front facelock and begins wrenching! Although he commonly uses it for grounding cruisers, Kibagami knows this will aggravate the damage he's already done to Janus' neck.

 

"And Citizen Kibagami going back to that neck with a simple front facelock! If he keeps working Citizen Janus' neck like this, he will be easy prey for a deadly move such as the triangle choke!" Comet calls excitedly.

 

"And all Janus needs to do is break Kibagami's neck with some well placed blows." Riley mutters.

 

As he cranks on the Hell Machine's neck, the Slaughterer fails to notice the rising arms on either side of his waist. With a guttural sound, Janus clamps his arms down and pushes upright, hoisting the River Dragon into the air. Pulling his head out of the front facelock, the seven foot Australian glares up into the steady eyes of Nathaniel Kibagami, and then just throws him down hard with a high-angle spinebuster! The Hell Machine easily folds the River Dragon's legs over his head in a jack-knife pin, leaning all three hundred and sixty pounds of weight down.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....KICKOUT!!

 

With a tremendous heave of his legs, Nathaniel Kibagami kicks out of the pinfall attempt, pushing Janus away and trying to climb upright as fast as he can. But it's not fast enough to stop his arm being grabbed, and the Slaughterer finds himself whipped hard across the ring. The Hell Machine swings an arm out as he comes back, turning with the momentum and swinging the River Dragon high into the air for a spinning chokeslam. But as he swings through the air, Kibagami plants one of his signature stiff kicks right into Janus' forehead and sends him reeling back, dropping Nathan to the canvas. Immediatley, the Slaughterer rises to his feet and throws himself into the air for a gamengiri...

 

...but Janus' arm snaps out to grab it, leaving the River Dragon with only one leg to stand on! With the Hell Machine glowering at him, Kibagami springs up with his other leg for an enzugiri, only to find that leg caught as well! With a roar, Janus lifts Nathan high into the air, and just CRATERS him back down into the mat with what possibly could be the hardest powerbomb ever delivered! Taking the brunt on his upper back and some on the neck, the Slaughterer's body jerks and convulses from the impact. But Janus doesn't stop there, gritting his teeth bestially and heaving, dragging Kibagami up into the air once more. And this time, he releases the powerbomb, throwing the River Dragon down with a frightening amount of force! This time, the former Silent One hits the mat HARD on his shoulders, legs hanging in the air before falling to the mat as the impact shakes the ring. Everyone in the crowd, and the announcers, all wince at the stunning impact of the move. The Hell Machine stumbles back, shaken off balance, and he steps back to the ropes and carefully leans on them for support.

 

"Citizen Janus with a HELLISHLY strong double powerbomb after blocking a gamengiri AND an enzuigiri." Comet murmurs.

 

"He could have dropped him straight on his head with a you-know-what when he caught him, but he didn't!" Riley blurts.

 

"You're right, Robert." Comet blinks, noting that Janus is shaking his head aggressively and pressing his fingers against his temples.

 

But whatever it is, it seems to pass as the Hell Machine locks his eyes on the prone form of Nathaniel Kibagami. Reaching down, the seven foot Australian drags the Slaughterer upright, holding him up by the hair. Dazed and in pain, the River Dragon finds himself cinched into a front facelock, and hoisted up into a vertical suplex. The crowd hushed as they recognised the position Kibagami was in, and as Nathaniel opened his eyes and saw the ground looking back up at him, he acted.

 

Swinging to life with a burst of energy, feeling pain running through every inch of his back, Kibagami bends his legs and kicks the air, swinging his body out of the deadly vertical position. Janus releases the front facelock as the River Dragon flips to land on his feet, momentarily ignoring the suffering his body was in after that double powerbomb. With adrenaline surging in his veins, the Slaughterer strikes with harsh, brutal precision. With a *CRACK*, his boot smacks into the back of the giant's left knee, sending him stumbling forward and down to his remaining knee. A second hard boot to the other knee took the Hell Machine's legs from under him. Janus immediatley straightens up, only to take two more brutal-sounding kicks to his back - one to the kidneys, one to the upper back. Arching his spine, the monster growls in pain...

 

*KA-RACK!*

 

...and Kibagami plants a harsh boot straight into the back of his opponent's head! Janus' growl trails off and he wavers on his knees, expression glazed. Like a falling tree, the seven foot Hell Machine topples forward to the mat. The crowd lets loose with a rousing cheer for the River Dragon, and he smiles in an almost grim satisfaction as he presses his hands to his back. Janus lies on the canvas, twitching slightly but otherwise unmoving.

 

"And with one hard twist and plenty of his signature kicks, Citizen Kibagami manages to swing the match back into his favour! I think he may have knocked Citizen Janus clean out!"

 

"Oh please, Janus has a thick skull. Besides, Nathan looks like he's going to need a chiropractor for his back after this match. Hell, he'll probably need his neck checked too."

 

"If Citizen Janus isn't defeated here and now, Robert, I cannot bear to consider what he might to Citizen Kibagami."

 

The River Dragon seems to heed the words of the spandex-clad announcer, as he drops to his knees and after a struggle, rolls the Hell Machine onto his back. Sprawling across the behemoth's body and hooking one great leg, Nathaniel Kibagami looks up at Matthew Kivell who drops down to ensure Janus' shoulders are on the mat, and begins the count.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....

.....KICKOUT!!

 

"BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

The clear annoyance of the crowd is made manifest in that single word. The Slaughterer looks at the great arm lifting off the canvas, then lifts his eyes to the refree. Kivell signals a two count, and Nathaniel shrugs. Rising to his feet as Janus rolls onto his stomach, Kibagami kicks the giant. Hitting him square in the side of the head, the blow knocks the seven foot Australian to the mat on his side. Another quick punt to his chest rolls the giant over, and Nathaniel drops to the mat to take advantage. He pulls Janus' left arm away from his body, positions his legs, and falls back. The end result has the Hell Machine being choked out by legs wrapped around his throat, and his arm hyperextending across the River Dragon's chest in the deadly move known as the triangle choke!

 

The moment the move is applied, Janus springs to life, clawing at his throat with his good arm. But the vice-like grip of the Slaughterer's legs and arms seems to leave him no other option. He lifts his arm high, high in the air. The fans hold their breath as the Hell Machine's arm hangs suspended above the canvas, trembling...and then it LASHES out, wrapping firmly around the bottom rope and pulling him up against it! Instantly, Matthew Kivell starts counting, and Kibagami releases the hold with a disgusted look. He couldn't believe he'd made such an elementary mistake, and neither can the fans with the thunderous amount of boos raining down on the ring.

 

"Citizen Janus would have been beaten right there!" Comet calls. "He uses the ropes as the path of least resistance and escapes the triangle choke!"

 

"Kibagami fucked up" Riley chortles with glee. "It'll happen again.

 

Cradling his arm close to his body, the Hell Machine makes his way back upright with help from the ropes. The River Dragon moves towards his foe, but his attempt at stealth fails as he takes a boot to the stomach! Janus then wraps his arm around Kibagami's head in preparation for the Everdream implant DDT. But Nathan throws some hard elbows into his opponent's stomach and wraps his arms around him for a gutwrench suplex. And before HE can do anything, a stiff elbow cracks into the back of his neck, making him jerk in pain. Again the arm goes around his head, and this time Janus lifts up and drops Kibagami straight on his face with the Everdream! He maintains the front facelock with an evil grin as he starts pushing himself up.

 

For the second time during the night, the Hell Machine wrenches the River Dragon off his feet into a stalling vertical suplex. And for the second time of the night, the Slaughterer realises the predicament he's in. Once more, he kicks his legs and swings his body, and finds himself released from the front facelock. He thuds to the ground before Janus and fires off a high roundhouse kick... but this lets the Hell Machine go low, gutwrenching Kibagami into the air...

 

...turning around...

 

...and DROPPING HIM OVER THE ROPES WITH A GUTWRENCH FALCON ARROW!

 

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

 

The crowd roars for the sick bump, but quickly goes silent as Nathaniel Kibagami crashes to the thinly matted floor almost directly on his neck. Stumbling back from the ropes, Janus takes a deep breath, cradling his sore left arm as he stares out of the ring. Next to him, Matthew Kivell has no choice but to start the count.

 

ONE!

 

"And with one brutal move, Citizen Janus may have just crippled his opponent and won this match!" Comet calls.

 

TWO!

 

"And what a glorious victory it's going to be." Riley smirks.

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

In the ring, Janus watches with narrowed eyes, as the form of Nathaniel Kibagami begins to stir. The hands and feet of the Slaughterer find the mat and begin pushing up, as the referee continues the count.

 

FIVE!

 

SIX!

 

SEVEN!

 

As Kivell hits seven, the crowd begins a steady "KIB-A-GAMI!" chant, as the River Dragon pushes himself upright with a grimace on his face. Moments before Matty Kivell hits eight, Kibagami dives under the bottom rope and straight into a heavy legdrop across the back of the head from the Hell Machine! As Janus drags Nathaniel upright, however, the Slaughterer begins to once more hammer his arms into his foe's ribcage. Rearing back his right fist, the Hell Machine looks to end this resistance with a Knuckle Bomb, but the River Dragon sees it coming! He ducks under the blow and leaps into the air, leaving a clean imprint of his boot in the seven foot Australian's face as he hits a gamengiri! Janus staggers back and the crowd roars, and Nathaniel moves for the advantage, slamming a hard boot into his opponent's stomach and applying a standing headscissors.

 

"It looks like it's over for Citizen Janus...he's about to take a Fall From Grace!" Comet shouts as the River Dragon drags his three hundred and sixty pound foe off the mat, despite the pain burning in his ribs, and into the air in crucifix position.

 

"Nonsense, Robert! That fogey completely forgot about his opponent's arms!" Riley cackles, as Janus pulls his right arm free from the crucifix position and nearly puts Kibagami's lights out with a Knuckle Bomb.

 

The Slaughterer drops his opponent off his shoulders, and Janus lands in a crouch. He lifts his eyes to the dazed Kibagami as he tries to shake off the effects of the brutal Knuckle Bomb, but it's too late. Like a great white shark rising from the depths, the Hell Machine spreads his arms wide and clamps them down around the River Dragon's arm and chest, compressing them with extreme force. Nathaniel Kibagami cries out in pain and thrashes helplessly as the pain surges through his body.

 

"No Fall From Grace, spandex boy, it's time for the Hell Crush!" Riley cheers.

 

"The move is known for being evil, Robert. Citizen Janus is capable of immense feats of strength if necessary..." Comet mutters.

 

"His definition of necessary is 'whenever he feels like it', Comet." Riley smiles.

 

Writhing and crying out in the indomitable grasp of his opponent, Kibagami shakes his head violently when the referee gives him the option of quitting. Janus simply wrenches away on the submission, content to slowly crush the River Dragon's arms and vitals, until he realises something. His opponent isn't responding anymore. Kivell orders him to release the hold as Nathaniel has gone completely limp, and the Hell Machine throws the battered body to the mat. Kivell as always checks the arm...

 

It drops ONCE! The crowd begins to chant for Kibagami to wake up and return to battle, smelling the possible failure of their champion. Under the Hell Machine psychotic, yet watchful eye, referee Matthew Kivell lifts the arm again.

 

It drops TWICE! The crowd chants begin to pick up, solidfying into a definite "KIB-A-GAM-I!" chant. The noise is an effort to bring their hero back to life. So he can crush the evil monster, as the monster himself had tried to crush the River Dragon. But now the big man is smiling devilishly, and Kivell is finding it unnerving. Hurriedly, he picks up the arm for the third and final time...

 

IT DROPS THRICE, AND THE CROWD'S CHANTING FOR NATHANIEL KIBAGAMI DIES WITH IT!

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

"Ladies and gentlemen! The winner of this bout via submission! The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Television Champion....the Hell Machine...JAAAAAAAANUUUUS!"

 

"Consumed with memories...

That preceded today...

Given a chance to bereave...

Life that's slipping AWAAAAY!"

 

As Fear Factory's "Resurrection" belts out of the speakers, Janus simply raises his arms into the air to a shower of boos from the fans. The Hell Machine simply shrugs off this negative noise, striding around the ring with his arms raised, turning his head towards the losing man. The sound of music and the booing fans has injected some life into the River Dragon, who begins pulling himself back up slowly, holding his ribs. Janus watches with a smirk, contemplating more damage, when...

 

"Wait a minute, Robert! Who's that charging down the ramp?" Comet calls.

 

"It's the interim Commissioner! What the hell is he doing here, and with a steel chair no less?" Riley blinks in surprise.

 

"I do not know, but I doubt the ring is a safe place to be right for anyone!" Comet responds.

 

Alexander Zenon slides into the ring with the steel chair, and comes face to chest with the Hell Machine. Janus glowers ominously, but the interim Commissioner brushes past him as if he weren't there. Along with the wondering fans, the Hell Machine turns around to watch Zenon, as he taps the chair on the mat and stands patiently to the side of Nathaniel Kibagami, who pulls himself up against the turnbuckles to...

 

*CRACK*

 

...take a thunderous chairshot to the face from Zenon! Blood splashes through the air from the force of the blow, and Alex pulls the weapon and swings it again! Again the brutal steel weapon finds its mark, this time on Kibagami's jaw. Zenon pulls the chair back a third and final time, and finds it plucked from his grasp. He turns around to stare up at the ominous visage of Janus.

 

"Citizen Janus! Is he standing up for Citizen Kibagami?" Comet wonders.

 

"I doubt that, Comet..."

 

*KA-RACK!*

 

"...he just wanted the third shot" Riley finishes.

 

Handing the chair back to the interim Commissioner, the Hell Machine thrusts his arms into the air. This momentarily bathes the entire arena in alternating darkness and light as blue flames explode from the turnbuckles. "Resurrection" continues to wail out over the speakers, and the giant Australian stops to sling his earlier discarded trenchcoat over his shoulder. The camera focuses on the big man walking backstage, but then swings back to the ring...

 

...where Interim Commissioner Alexander Zenon stares with utter loathing and disgust into the pained and angry eyes of Nathaniel Kibagami...

[the.weej 0]

"Kibagami's a wreck," Riley observes, a little stunned at what's just taken place.

 

"I can't believe this, Robert!" shouts Comet, appalled. "That... that our own commissioner--a man HAND PICKED by 'Grand Slam' Mark Stevens--could purpetrate such a villainous act on Nathaniel Kibagami!"

 

There is no awed hush or shocked silence in the crowd. Only jeering. The ire of watching the interim commissioner walk down and demolish a fan-favourite has boiled over. "Ki... ba... gami..." breathes Zenon into the microphone, his chair clattering to the ground. "Wake up. WAKE THE FUCK UP!" More jeers.

 

"This is intolerable," mutters Comet. "I cannot stand for these vile actions!"

 

"Your call appears to being answered, Comet," says Riley, jerking his head towards a group of road agents and referees who are making their way down the ramp and to ringside. Alex notices them too, darting his eyes to the entrance and point out a finger.

 

"STOP!" he shouts. "STOP RIGHT FUCKING NOW OR YOU WON'T HAVE JOBS TOMORROW!" Immediately the refs and agents halt at the bottom of the ramp, as fire in Alex's eyes flickers back to Kibagami.

 

Nathaniel himself has crawled into a corner facing the entrance, looking a little dazed. A few seams of blood run down his face, and his open mouth his painted red, the effects of the chair shots and the match with Janus, respectively. With slightly glazed eyes, he regards Alex with scorn. "You can't even get back to your feet, can you?" snarls Alex. "Not so fucking big, tough and powerful anymore, huh? You can't even shake off a few pussy chair shots today!" There is more booing. Kibagami says nothing.

 

"This cannot stand," says Comet. "This is a complete travesty, Robert! That our commissioner could--"

 

"YOU TWO!" barks Zenon, taking a few steps towards the commentators. "I don't want to hear another word! SHUT UP!" Miserably, Cyclone obliges. Alex turns his head back to Nathaniel and snorts. "I'm so SICK of you, Kibagami! I'm sick and tired of everything! I'm sick of your voice, I'm sick of you face, I'm sick of watching you, and I'm sick of hearing about you from these peolple!" Zenon finishes by pointing out into the crowd. The jeers intensify, and a chant starts...

 

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

 

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

 

"SHUT UP!" Zenon screams, his voice shooting up in pitch. He focuses back in on Kibagami, who chuckles softly. "Rgh... you may have only been back for a few weeks, Kibagami, but you're all I've seen for months. You ruined everything, Kibagami! It's all your fault! You destroyed the Midnight Carnival! You crippled Raynor! You drove Edwin off, and then sucked him back in just so you could finish destroying him!" Zenon's voice wavers, nearly breaking. He shudders with anger, hatred that hasn't found a way out for almost two years. The mocking chants continue.

 

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

 

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

 

"GODDAMN IT! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" Zenon screams again, then looks down at the mat, breathing heavily. He returns quickly to Kibagami. "Y... you see!? THIS is what you've done to ME, Kibagami! Everything's spinning out of control just because you're here... I can't handle it!" Kibagami mouths 'You never could've handled this job,' which makes Zenon seethe. "YES I COULD!" He shouts. "I could've if you weren't HERE! But... but you're always here, aren't you? You're always in MY LIFE!"

 

Kibagami shakes his head and tries to speak, but Alex shushes him. "You're always here, Kibagami... and HERE IS MY LIFE! No matter how much I don't want it to be! No matter how much I grew to hate it! No matter how much..." Alex trails off, then scowls. "I blame you Nathaniel. You've hurt me in a way that no mere needle could, no matter how many times it ever tore through your skin. And... and then what? I sat back, broken, and watched you... recieve love? You don't know love! You didn't deserve it! Then find redemption from all these FUCKING SHEEP?" The booing intesifies as Alex points to the crowd again. "You've never reconciled ANYTHING in you life!! How... how have you earned that!? And then, even after you recieved ALL that... you pissed it away! You... you let it slip..." Alex chokes.

 

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

 

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

 

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-LENT...

 

Zenon simmers, hearing the cheers, but he chooses to ignore them. Biting his lip, he brings the mic back to his lips. "You disgust me, Kibagami. Everything about you is filthy and corroded. And... and thanks to you everything about me is mildewed and broken away. And yet, after all this... after all you've done... you recieved the greatest gift and the most insulting thing I have ever witnessed... a second chance." The words flow out of Alex's mouth like from a ceaspool of bile. Shaking his head sadly, his eyes stay fixed on Kibagami with nothing but pure, vile hatred. Real hatred.

 

But Kibagami's face shows nothing at all.

 

Alex trembles as he sees this, not knowing whether his words are having any effect. "Okay... no more dramatic speeches. None of this shit matters to you, does it?" Alex spits. "You don't care, do you!? That's... that's fine," Zenon breathes, his manner showing this clearly infuriates him even more. "I'm going to solve this, and solve you once and for all, Kibagami. I can't fire you; I know this. You know this. But... this contract isn't binding to any number of shows--you can terminate it of your own free will." Alex pauses. "Or through the will of a doctor's. I've decided that perhaps... this is best. I cannot fire you, Nathan, because that would be too easy. You're not good enough for anything easy. But I have the authority to finally put the two of us together in the very midst of this thing we love and hate so much," Zenon spits, pointing to the ring. "I'm going to resolve this, Nathaniel, and I'm going to put you out of this fed, out of my life, and out of this awful misery you're so intent on surrounding everyone with. At Battleground, there will be one man left standing... one man still left intact." Alex pauses again, his speech having quieted. "You've forgotten the humility of being broken, Nathaniel...

 

"...but unlike me, there will be no peices of you left to put back together."

 

Alexander Zenon takes one last look at Nathaniel Kibagami with those same, hateful eyes... and is returned the same emotionless expression. Dropping the mic to the mat with a slight buzz of feedback, he turns around and slowly begins to make his way out of the ring, wading through the jeers and parting the massing of referees and road agents at the bottom of the ramp like the red sea.

 

In the ring, Kibagami finally allows himself to smile.

 

 

And then, to laugh.

[the.weej 0]

The Oakland Arena lights up as SWF Smarkdown returns! The fans know that it’s time for the main event and get accordingly excited. The crowd is dotted with navy “ICHIBAN” t-shirts and “GRAPPLER” signs, with only a few scattered blue and white Superior One rugby shirts or plain black “Unnamed” tees to be seen. The tension is so thick, you could cut it with a knife… and soon, it will explode into the ring.

 

The lights go down and the SmarkTron begins glowing white. As the opening guitars of the Philosopher Kings’ “I Am The Man” vibrate through the arena, the fans boo, anticipating the entrance of the Superior One. After a few seconds…

 

 

BOOM!

 

 

An explosion of blue pyro and smoke lights up the arena as the song starts to rock out over the sound system! Tom Flesher emerges from the cloud of smoke, striding confidently to the ring as videos of his signature moves alternate in half-second clips with the words “SUPERIOR ONE,” “AWARD-WINNING,” “MAIN ATTRACTION” and “THE MAN.” Flesher pauses on the ramp, crossing his arms over his chest as the fans curse him and throw things. They continue booing as he falls out of his pose and walks to the ring.

 

“This is your MAIN EVENT!” shouts Cyclone Comet. “Tonight, we see the continuing development of the relations, carnal or otherwise, between Tom Flehser and the Onitas, and between John Duran and Charlie Matthews! What will happen? Only time will tell.”

 

Flesher climbs the stairs to enter the ring and, making sure to wipe his feet off on the apron, steps into the ring. As the music fades away, Flesher positions himself in the center of the ring. Funyon makes his announcement…

 

“The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall, and it is your main event! The first competitor, from Buffalo, New York and weighing in at 231 pounds… ‘the Superior One,’ TOM FLESHER!”

 

Flesher strips his warmup off and begins stretching out as the lights go down again. Bright white letters flash on the screen on a black background, guided by the opening words of Duran Duran's "Notorious."

 

"NO

NO

NOTORIOUS!"

 

Those words fade into Spineshank's "Synthetic," as John Duran comes through the curtain and makes his way down to the ring, the boos and middle fingers thrown into the air instantly.

 

“And his partner, from Champaign, Illinois, and weighing 268 pounds, ‘The Notorious’ JOHN DURAN!”

 

Duran steps up on the apron and enters the ring, going to the center of the ring and raising his arms, not bothering with the middle fingers back to the crowd as he turns back around and joins Tom in their corner.

 

“And their opponents…”

 

As the slow intro of "Risky Gamble" by Megumi Hayashibara plays, the suit-clad Ann appears on the SmarkTron, shown sideways with her hand extended like a gun. The viewpoint rotates until the shot is dead straight with Ann's finger. The song kicks into high gear just as she 'shoots', causing a blue pyrotechnic explosion to occur on the entrance ramp. Annie walks out with cigar in hand, her sister following behind her.

 

“From Tokyo, Japan, and weighing 175 pounds… Ann ‘Ichiban’ Onita!”

 

Ann continues walking as Allison follows behind her. As Ann enters the ring, Allison stays on the outside. She walks to a neutral corner and leans on the apron, watching her sister and Tom Flesher alternately.

 

“There you see Allison Onita,” says Bobby Riley. “She’s torn between loyalty to her sister and the sweet, sweet posterior of Tom Flesher. Truly, truly between a rock and a hard place.”

 

“I doubt you’ll see much conflict,” says Comet. “Blood is, after all, thicker than water.”

 

“Yeah, but not as thick as…”

 

“Spandex. Not nearly,” says Comet. He then sighs a sigh of relief, having avoided an enormous FCC fine for indecency.

 

“And her tag team partner…”

 

The crowd immediately begins to scream. “This is the man,” says Cyclone Comet, “who is going to Battleground against John Duran for the SWF World Heavyweight Title! Never has he wanted to defeat John Duran more than right now!”

 

The lights dim once more as the first guitar riff of Metallica's "Some Kind of Monster" hits. As the lyrics kick in, a single spotlight shines on the entryway as Grappler finally walks out, intently focused on the ring.

 

He stares into the ring, and calmly walks up the stairs. He stretches out, then stares a hole at his opponent as the official calls for the bell.

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

 

“And here we go,” says Bobby Riley. “It looks like John Duran and Charlie Matthews are going to start this one off.”

 

Grappler and Duran meet in the center of the ring, with referee Ced Ordonez watching them line up. Each man stares at the other, with the taller and leaner Duran allowing a small smile to cross his face. He grabs Matthews by the shoulder and pulls him into a collar-and-elbow tieup. The two giants fight in the tie, jockeying for position. Matthews grabs Duran’s bicep and shucks it down, slamming his collar grip downward and locking on a side headlock! This draws applause from the fans as Matthews tightens the hold, getting himself oriented in the match.

 

“And here’s Grappler in true form,” says Riley with an exaggerated yawn. “He gets in the ring with a man who’s been a thorn in his side for months now, and he decides to go back to that horrible, boring nice guy crap. Like that’s going to get him anywhere.”

 

Grappler flexes his massive biceps as he holds on to the headlock. Duran, however, has other ideas. He reaches up, posting one hand on the elbow cocked around his head. He pushes it forward, sliding out the back door of the headlock and spinning Grappler around to face him. As Matthews turns to face Duran, he eats a stiff right hand! Grappler steps backwards, caught off-guard by the blow.

 

“And there, Citizen Matthews is sucker-punched by the Notorious One,” says Comet. “Sadly, the official cannot rectify that, because the rules deal only with illegalities and not moral violations. Shame on you, Mr. Duran!”

 

“Christ. Next you’ll be babbling about ‘unethical treatment of testicles’ again.”

 

Duran grabs Matthews by the wrist and starts to whip him to the ropes, but the SWF World Champion plants his feet and stops his momentum by slamming a forearm into Duran’s neck! Matthews follows up by clubbing Duran’s neck again, then grabbing his head and locking up another side headlock. The fans stand up and cheer once again.

 

“I just don’t get it,” Riley muses. “These schmucks look at anyone else and boo the crap out of him for going back to the same hold over and over again, but with Matthews, they cheer it. What the hell?”

 

“Well, Robert, Charlie Matthews is an unusually talented performer. The fans have come to understand that his way of entertaining them is to actually bore them, and they’ve begun to be entertained by that refreshing change of pace.”

 

“Ohhh, like when a hostage falls in love with her captor?”

 

“Stockholm Syndrome is nothing to joke about, Robert,” chides Comet. “But yes, exactly like that.”

 

Duran reaches up again, posting on the elbow in hopes of escaping again the same way. This time, Grappler tightens his grip and holds fast, straining to keep the headlock. Duran struggles to escape once again, but realizes that it’s futile. Instead, he steps forward, shooting Matthews off his head and toward the ropes. Ann Onita can be seen on the background, cheering him on. He rebounds, his arm cocked for a lariat. John Duran ducks the clothesline, and Matthews hits the opposite ropes. He rebounds, and Duran turns into him and nails him in the breadbasket with a stiff knee strike! Matthews staggers forward and drops to one knee for an instant, then stands back up. He walks toward the corner, the wind knocked out of him by the surprise Kitchen Sink, and reaches out to tag Ann Onita! This draws a burst of cheers from the fans.

 

John Duran sees this and stares at Ann. He takes a look back at his corner and then returns his sights to Ann, as he nods his head slowly. Duran moves back a step reaching his right hand out while pointing in a threatening manner towards Ann with his left. A smirking Tom Flesher deliberately tags himself in, and the crowd goes wild.

 

“And here’s what we’ve all been waiting for,” shills Bobby Riley. “Tom Flesher and Ann Onita!”

 

“Flesher, of course, walked out on Ann Onita last week like a child taking his ball and going home, simply because they were losing,” says Comet. “In my mind, that makes Flesher no better than a toddler who cries when he doesn’t get his way.”

 

“Tom Flesher is a world-class athlete, and he’s used to people living up to his standards. If Ann Onita couldn’t handle the pressure, she shouldn’t have agreed to team with him!”

 

Flesher and Ann walk to the center, with Allison standing in a neutral corner. She doesn’t say a word, not even as Flesher reaches out and bitchslaps Ann completely unprovoked! Ann stands her ground, answering back with a stiff right hand! Before Ced Ordonez can interject himself at all, Flesher and Onita are exchanging palm strikes and punches with a sickening stiffness that makes the fans cringe! After three or four rounds of blow-for-blow, Ann hammers Flesher with a knife-edge chop to the chest that stuns him for a moment. She takes full advantage of the attack by leaping into the air and nailing him with a Drop Kiss that takes him down! The fans burst into cheers, while Allison simply looks worried. Ann covers Tom for

 

 

ONE!

 

 

But Flesher quickly kicks out. He sits up, and Ann quickly sprints to the ropes. As Tom gets to his vertical base, she leaves her feet and flies at him with a flying forearm! He eats the blow and collapses to the mat, but rolls to his stomach to avoid being covered. Ann slides onto his back, attacking by using a hammerlock to control him.

 

“Ann Onita, working the hammerlock to set up the Triple C,” says Bobby Riley. “Not a smart move, since we all know how rare it is for Flesher to tap out.”

 

“But isn’t it a little silly to avoid working for it just because it hasn’t happened much?” asks Comet. “Where I come from…”

 

“Mars.”

 

“… if you know what you’re doing, and Ann Onita certainly knows how to attack an arm, it’s considered a safe bet to attack it. Plus, Ann has an inherent advantage in this match, for while Flesher is foolish and has turned his back on her, she still represents the side of JUSTICE~!”

 

Flesher struggles underneath Onita as she works the hammerlock. He pushes back. When Ann changes her position to compensate, Flesher rolls out to the side. He spins behind, locking on a hammerlock of his own. Instead of using it to work the arm, however, he simply pins Ann to the mat with his left shoulder by leaning with all his weight on her wrist. From there, he raises his right arm up and whacks her in the back of the head with a shotei! The crowd boos roundly as Allison looks on with a look of concern for her sister’s health. Flesher releases the hammerlock and stands up, pointing to John Duran. Duran dutifully applauds; prompting another chorus of boos from the fans.

 

Tom Flesher, from there, grabs Ann by her hair and lifts her to her feet. Stunned, she throws a weak punch that Flesher simply ignores as it lands on his chest. He hooks her head and ducks under her arm, lifting her upside down and holding her there for a vertical suplex. He stalls with her for as long as he can…

 

“Look at the strength Tom Flesher is showing here,” marvels Bobby Riley. “He’s holding Ann Onita upside down like she’s a ragdoll! It’s like he’s not even trying!”

 

After what seems like an eternity, Flesher sits out. He slams Ann headfirst into the mat with a stalling brainbuster, and she collapses into a heap! Allison jumps back, covering her eyes, whereas Flesher just sits up, dusting off his hands.

 

“Ann Onita has certainly taken more than her share of blows to the head recently,” says Comet with an air of concern. “It’s no surprise that Tom Flesher should attempt to attack her head early on, but to succeed with a brainbuster… could this match be over already?!”

 

He nonchalantly covers Onita, and Ced counts

 

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

The crowd cheers as Ann Onita, although clearly scrambled, gets a shoulder up and avoids the pin. Flesher stands up, shrugging. He boots Ann in the shoulder and shoos her toward her corner, as if to say, “Get me some real competition.” Allison Onita smiles ever so slightly in the aftermath.

 

“And Allison, pleased to see her sister kicking out after that dangerous move,” says Comet. “That closeness between siblings is unprecedented, even among tag team partners or pornographic co-stars.”

 

Ann crawls over to the corner as Flesher crosses his arms, sighs exasperatedly and taps his foot impatiently. The crowd boos Flesher’s cockiness, and then bursts into cheers as Charlie Matthews tags in! Flesher stands in the center of the ring as Matthews makes his way in. Flesher steps forward and meets Matthews with a backhand… that the World Champion catches! He holds Flesher’s arm by the wrist and glares, with Flesher’s eyes opening to roughly the size of dinner plates as he tries to back away! The World Champion has none of it, though, and yanks the arm to pull Flesher into a short arm clothesline! The crowd cheers as Flesher gets knocked on his ass, then quickly springs back up and starts to back away. Grappler follows him, stalking toward him. He grabs the man he outweighs by nearly 75 pounds and slams him into a corner, holding him there as the crowd screams its approval! Matthews leans on Flesher and slaps him across the face, making Flesher’s head spin. He continues paintbrushing the former World Champion until Flesher is knocked absolutely silly, and finishes off the sequence with a big right hand! The crowd goes crazy as Matthews backs away. Flesher staggers out of the corner, taking two steps forward. There, he stops in his tracks and simply flops forward on his face. The crowd screams for Matthews.

 

“And Charlie Matthews comes in to take charge!” shouts Comet. “Fine job, Citizen Matthews!”

 

“Oh, sure. You’re just saying that because Flesher’s on the receiving end,” replies Bobby Riley indignantly. “You’ll do anything to see Tom Flesher flat on his back. It makes you feel like a big man, doesn’t it?”

 

“Fortunately,” says Comet, “you accused me of wanting to see Flesher on his back. Had you mentioned Tom being on his face, I would have been forced to violate our new FCC decency agreement per my gay joke quota.”

 

Matthews grabs Flesher and spins him around, then lifts him for an atomic drop! He throws Flesher down onto his knee, and the Superior One jumps forward, his spine reeling from the drop! He grabs the ropes for balance, but Matthews follows him to the sidelines. He grabs Flesher, trying to pull him off. Tom holds on, but before too long Matthews is able to grab him by the singlet and pull him back. He turns Flesher around, going for an inverted atomic drop! This time, though, Flesher sags his hips to keep from being lifted off the mat and then sprawls back to lock on a front headlock! The crowd boos as Flesher extends his body, pulling Grappler to the mat with him and onto his hands and knees. He throws a stiff knee strike to the head and stuns the World Champion, then hammers him with an elbow to the back of the neck! Grappler sprawls out, shaking his head and grabbing at his fragile neck.

 

“There you have Flesher,” says Riley, “keeping the SWF World Champion on the mat and just beating the crap out of him. God, I love this guy.”

 

Matthews backs away, but Flesher follows him. He manages to shake off the front headlock and pull back, while Flesher backs away. He shoots in low, going for a single-leg takedown. Instead, Matthews blocks the move and hooks Flesher by the waist! In an instant, he hoists Flesher off the mat and holds him vertically upside down… then sits out with a piledriver! Flesher lands on the crown of his head and rolls to the side, shaking off the head bump and springing back to his feet. Allison looks on, slightly angered by Charlie’s attack on Flesher and going through a wide range of emotions. Slightly stunned, Tom staggers to a neutral corner and rests, quickly getting his head cleared. In that time, though, Grappler moves to the corner and tags out.

 

“Ann Onita is back in,” says Riley. “Some World Champion – he can’t take a little twinging in his neck, so he tags out to a woman. Big man, isn’t he?”

 

“Surely you don’t begrudge him the chance to rest a bit. He IS facing John Duran at Battleground, and we can’t have Tom Flesher softening him up when clearly Duran’s inability to work a zipper will shine through and he won’t be able to steal that title from around Matthews’ waist.”

 

Ichiban enters the ring, making a beeline for Flesher. Onita gets too close, however, and is unable to counter Tom bending down and taking Ann’s legs out from under her with a blast double leg takedown! Annie is prone after the quick takedown, leaving herself open as Tom goes on the attack, throwing palm strikes at her face and connecting with most of them. The nubile Ichiban is able to move her body just enough to reach out for the ropes, grasping them tightly as referee Ordonez calls for the break, which Flesher immediately makes, not even bothering with the five count. Tom takes his time, leisurely walking over to the corner and tagging in the leader of the Unnamed.

 

“John Duran on his way in,” Riley notes, “and it looks like Onita and Grappler are obviously no match for the blockbuster combination of Duran and my hero Tom Flesher.”

 

“I’m worried for Annie’s safety, Robert. Duran has threatened to finish what he started at the Fight Before Christmas and ruin Ann’s pretty face,”

 

“Not that it matters that you think it’s pretty,”

 

“and he’s crazy enough to do it!”

 

Duran grinds his hands together with a sick smile on his face as he walks towards Annie in the corner. She tries to make a break for it, but Duran rushes forward, coming down hard with a sharp elbow to the back of Annie’s head. The crowd sends a flood of boos towards Duran, as he climbs back to his feet, slapping the back of Annie’s head disrespectfully on his way up. Back to a vertical base, John stomps the back of Annie’s head as Allison looks visibly upset. Ichiban claws at the ropes, desperately trying to get to her feet, but the Notorious One simply stomps Annie down again.

 

“This is no way to treat a woman who could soon become the SWF World Champion!” Comet yells painfully.

 

“You have forgotten one thing, Comet. John Duran is going to be SWF World Champion long before that jezebel can get a whiff of it.”

 

Duran bends over and brings Annie to her feet, only far enough to put her in a front facelock. The Notorious One then moves towards the center of the ring, dragging Onita with him before lifting her up into the air. John holds Annie upside down, letting the blood run to her head before falling forward swiftly with a front suplex! Duran gets right back up on his knees, smirking again to the hissing crowd as John turns Onita over and lazily covers her, Ordonez coming to the mat to count

 

ONE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO

 

Annie refuses to give up, getting a shoulder up again just before the count of three.

 

“Should’ve hooked the leg there, Robert,” Comet criticizes the actions of Duran.

 

“No big deal, Annie’s going to wish she stayed down for the three count.”

 

John brings Onita up by her head and shoulders (no relation to the shampoo product), backing her up into the ropes and then thrusting her off them, tossing her to the opposite side. On the rebound, Annie is met in the middle of the ring by the Notorious One, who in a flash locks in a full nelson!

 

“This is the beginning to the Break Point, Robert!” Comet panics.

 

“No worries, Comet, this is just to wear down on the neck and shoulders of Ichiban.”

 

“She better tap though, because Duran doesn’t take too kindly to them non-submitting folk,” Riley finished with a drawl.

 

Ordonez moves in to check on Onita, asking if she submits—to which Ann gives an emphatic “no.” The crowd begins to clap in rhythm, stomping their feet on the ground of The Arena to get behind the Hardcore Queen, the Grappler leading them on in the corner, slapping the turnbuckle with his meaty hand. When Ced asks again if Annie submits and gets another negative response, Duran has seen enough, trying to lift Onita off the ground. Annie blocks it, though, giving it all she has. This just incites John even further, however, as he turns towards a neutral corner and hefts Annie up again, this time succeeding as Duran falls back.

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

The crowd reaction summarizes the brutality of the dragon suplex into the corner, Onita’s head smacking off the bottom turnbuckle as she slumps in the corner.

 

“No! This is wrong! How can John Duran do that to a member of the opposite sex? How can he do that to ANYBODY?”

 

“Told you she should have quit,” Riley coldly remarks.

 

Duran rises to his feet with a sadistic grin on his face, glancing back at the carnage behind him as Allison runs around the ring to check on her twin sister. John rises to his feet and emphatically tags Flesher in.

 

“This Duran/Flesher team is a well-oiled machine,” Riley continues to fellate the duo, “this is a CAKEWALK for these men!”

 

There’s nowhere for Annie to go as she’s dead to the world for the time being. Thus, Flesher has no trouble stepping up, placing his boot against the cheek of Onita and pushing forward, scraping it along the face off the Hardcore Queen as the crowd groans in disgust for the move and Flesher. The Superior One isn’t done, however, placing the boot at the same place and repeating the move not once, but two more times before eventually stopping at the pleading of referee Ordonez! Flesher brings one of his black Doc Martens up, looking at the bottom of the shoe and brushing it off, receiving even more boos for yet another disrespectful act.

 

“This is just sickening,” spits Comet, “I find it very hard to sit and watch this, Riley.”

 

“By all means, leave. I can be alone and still watch Tom wrestle.”

 

Comet pauses before responding. “On second thought, I better stick around.” Comet isn’t afraid to move his chair a few more inches away from Riley at the announce table, however.

 

Flesher grabs Ann by the legs and drags her back towards the center of the ring, using her legs to flip the Hardcore Queen onto her stomach as Flesher goes to Onita’s upper back, draping her arms over the Superior One’s legs, seemingly going for a camel clutch until Tom rocks forward, putting pressure on Ann’s head as it is trapped under Flesher’s body, Ichiban’s shoulders pinned down to the mat as well as Ced Ordonez slides down to the mat, counting

 

ONE!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR--NO!

 

Charlie Matthews runs in from his corner, breaking the pin before the count of three as Annie is able to escape the Gedo clutch, Allison clapping for her sister. Ordonez immediately turns to the SWF World Champion, trying to usher him out of the ring as Flesher springs to his feet and stares up at the much taller champion, before cocking his hand back and bringing it up, bitchslapping Charlie right in the face as the referee holds him back! The referee has to work double hard after that, as Charlie struggles to get his hands on the Superior One, the crowd booing the taunting former World Champion.

 

“Tom really shouldn’t entice the champion like that,” Comet warns. “Look at how much bigger the Grappler is!”

 

“My man has taken down much bigger,” Riley says in a half-gay, half-promoting comment.

 

Tom backs towards the corner and tags in Duran, keeping the quick tags coming as the Unnamed leader steps through the ropes once again and approaches a crawling Onita, desperate to get to her corner and tag in the World Champion. The crowd continues to boo as Annie nears the corner, reaching out for the tag. Grappler is reaching out as far as he can without actually being in the ring…as Duran latches on to Ann’s hair, pulling her back away from the corner! The crowd ERUPTS in boos, Onita frantically reaching for Matthews but coming up short!

 

“She is CLOSE,” Comet screams, “come on, Duran, be a man and fight someone your own size!”

 

“Not going to happen, Comet. Duran wants to HURT Onita. Allison might as well send for the ambulance now.”

 

Speaking of Allison, she is looking as worried as ever. Duran methodically backs Annie into the near neutral corner, whipping her towards the other turnbuckles…

 

…but Annie reverses!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

 

The crowd’s roar comes as Onita turns the momentum around and sends HIM into the turnbuckles! Ichiban holds her neck in pain, but shakes it off, wanting to punish Duran as the crowd cheers along, chanting “I - CHI - BAN!” as loud as they can. With that, Annie takes off, Allison rooting her twin sister on as Onita goes into a cartwheel, hurdling towards the corner where Duran is waiting, leaping backwards with a back elbow…

 

…that misses!

 

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Duran dodges and turns around, slamming a hand around the already battered neck of Annie as Allison’s smile and cheers are gone.

 

“CHOOOKESLAM!” Riley calls.

 

However, Duran doesn’t keep it in the ring, instead backing away from the turnbuckle and then taking a step to his left, tossing Annie with one hand over the top rope and sending her to the floor! She hits with a sickening thud, and Flesher cringes for a moment and then applauds the feat of strength from the Notorious One, as the referee condemns Duran for taking the action to the outside, right in front of Flesher. John simply leaves the ring, however, going after Annie still.

 

“The action has spilled to the outside, Comet, and this is where Duran will likely do the most damage!”

 

ONE!

 

Ced Ordonez begins his ten count on the outside as the Unnamed leader brings the Hardcore Queen up to her feet, looking back at the ringsteps and gauging the distance before grabbing Onita’s arm and stepping forward, chucking her into the ringsteps as she hurdles towards them, slamming shoulder and neck first into the cold steel! However, the steps remain sturdy, and Annie is left in a seated position against them. Matthews knows what’s next, and begins to yell at Annie to get to her feet, as Allison seems concerned for her sister.

 

“This is it! Another one of Duran’s Notorious Tactics™!” Riley sounds excited for the prospect of flesh hitting steel.

 

“Stop him, referee!”

 

Ordonez cannot hear the plea, but tries to convince Duran to think twice about doing this, grinning sickly again as he crouches down, ready to charge at Annie with the crowd booing. Matthews leaps off the apron and attempts to go after Duran, but Ced quickly scurries out of the ring, cutting the champion off as Duran takes this opportunity to go, charging full speed at the ring steps, and finally bringing his left knee forward to hit…

 

…nothing but steel!

 

The clank of padded knee against steel is followed by a splat of Duran doing a quick flip and landing hard on the outside of the ring!

 

“Go, Annie, go! Tag Charlie in!” Comet pleads with the Hardcore Queen.

 

Annie slides into the ring as quickly as she can, Flesher trying to cut her off but coming up empty as she staggers towards the corner and dives, slapping hands with the Grappler! Referee Ced Ordonez acknowledges the tag and Matthews comes in as Duran struggles to get to his feet on the outside! The crowd is on their feet, showing their approval for the champion as he leaves the ring and goes to get Duran, picking his challenger at Battleground off the ground easily and chucking him back inside the ring. John rolls to the center of the ring as he attempts to regain the feeling in his knee, with Charlie stalking not far behind.

 

“Duran is in a bad way, Robert, what do you think of him now?”

 

“Once he makes that tag to Flesher, Charlie is going to be big trouble, because that slow boring bastard wishes he could keep up with Tom.”

 

Grappler enters the ring as Duran struggles to his feet, coming towards Grappler as fast as he can on the bad knee…as Matthews catches him across the chin and sweeps out Duran’s legs with a sweeping STO!

 

“Boom,” Comet enunciates the crash of Duran into the mat, “and that’s a surefire way to stop a man’s momentum!”

 

“Not much momentum since that idiot Ann Onita couldn’t take her punishment like a man and get that knee from Duran!”

 

“Punishment for what, Robert?”

 

“God works in mysterious ways.”

 

After that extremely politically incorrect comment from Riley, Duran stumbles to his feet, but Grappler puts him into a standing headscissors.

 

“Here comes the piledriver!” Comet decrees.

 

Sure enough, Matthews wraps his arms around Duran’s waist and goes for the piledriver…but John drops to his knees and brings up an arm between Charlie’s legs!

 

“LOW BLOW!” Riley screams.

 

Matthews is stunned long enough for Duran to crawl and stumble to the corner, tagging in Flesher. Charlie turns to Flesher, former champion entering against the current champion. Grappler seems ready to fight, although winded. However, Onita gets Grappler’s attention.

 

“What’s going on, Robert?”

 

“I think Annie wants back in this match against Flesher! Is she nuts?”

 

No one is for sure, but Grappler turns towards the corner, and then after Annie nods to Charlie, Grappler turns around and tags Onita back in to another round of cheers, mostly from the females as the males want to see Charlie pound Flesher into the ground. Annie enters the ring and Flesher invites the Hardcore Queen to “bring it on” with a smile. Ichiban nears Tom, and they slow things down. Flesher goes to backhand Annie once again with a slap, but Onita grabs it this time! The fans are pleased as Annie bends down, throwing Tom over his shoulders with an armdrag and turning it right into an armbar once Tom hits the mat!

 

“Annie is finally being able to show her stuff her in the ring!”

 

“There was once a time when she charged for such things, Comet, I assure you.”

 

Ann tries to soothe her neck further, but she doesn’t get much time to relax as Flesher is on the move, fighting his way out of the armbar almost immediately by maneuvering his small body around Annie’s, and eventually lashing out with a palm strike to Annie’s temple, temporarily stunning her and breaking any pressure left on Tom’s arm. Flesher backs up, waiting for Ann to get to her feet--which she does--as Tom charges forward, bringing his leg up for a Yakuza kick…

 

…which ANN GRABS!

 

SPINS FLESHER AROUND!

 

Kick to the midsection! Double underhook!

 

“DAYYYYYYYYYYYBREAK!” the crowd screams as Onita brings Flesher up and down with the Daybreak pedigree! The fans jump into the air at impact, and Annie turns Tom over for the pinfall!

 

“Yes, Annie will win this! She’s got this won!” Comet screams with something resembling confidence.

 

Ced Ordonez falls to the mount and counts in unison with the fans.

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEE

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Ordonez flashes a two at the timekeeper as he notices Duran streaking in, dropping a big leg on the back of Onita’s head! The crowd engulfs the Notorious One with boos for interfering once again in the match, but this time the Grappler does something about it! Matthews enters the ring and makes a beeline for Duran, clotheslining John over the top when he reaches a vertical base! The momentum of the clothesline sends Charlie over as well, however, and they both sprawl to the floor! Allison is in shock over the near pinfall of Annie over Tom, and the fans are still buzzing over that near fall. Annie picks Tom up off the ground, but Flesher lashes out with a forearm right to the injured neck of Onita! Ichiban is just stunned long enough to be put into a front waistlock by Flesher.

 

“YES! NOW THIS IS IT, COMET!” Riley corrects his announcing partner.

 

Grappler tries to whip Duran into the ringsteps, only to be reversed by Duran as the SWF Champion crashes into the steps, knocking them off their alignment as the steps are strewn about. Meanwhile, Tom looks at the crowd and then stares at Allison a moment before lifting Annie up in the air and then coming straight down!

 

“EGO BUSTER!” Riley screams at the top of his lungs as Annie’s head bounces off the mat.

 

“She had it! Annie had the match won!”

 

“NOT ANYMORE!” Riley seems on the edge of insanity as his main man covers Annie and Ced Ordonez counts.

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Philosopher Kings’ “I Am The Man” blares over the PA as Flesher gets back to his feet, raising his arms in victory as Duran slides into the ring. Ordonez raises the hands of both men to a vicious round of boos, as Annie holds her neck in pain, Allison slowly goes over to check on Annie, as Grappler tries to recover after being thrown into the steps.

 

“Here are your winners, JOHN DURAN AND THE SUPERIOR ONE, TOM FLESHER!!!!!!!”

 

“Those are your winners at Battleground too, Comet! Mark my words, Tom Flesher will not only make a magnificent return to PPV at Battleground, but John Duran will be, without a shadow of a doubt, the NEXT SWF World Heavyweight Champion!”

 

“Whether or not that is true, Robert, remains to be seen! All I know is that we are running out of time! For Bobby Riley and everyone in the SWF studios, goodnight, and see you at Battleground, live in less than a week!”

 

The camera fades to black on the proud faces of Tom Flesher and John Duran.

 

SWF SMARKDOWN

COPYRIGHT 2004

WWW.THESWF.NET

[the.weej 0]

Later that night…

 

The door to Alex Zenon’s office swings open. The commissioner looks up, sees his visitor, and sighs.

 

“Tom,” he says flatly. “What a pleasant surprise.”

 

“Likewise,” deadpans Flesher, still fresh from the ring.

 

“If it’s all the same, Tom, I was getting ready to pack up. We’ve got another long haul, and I was hoping to get back to Jersey before Battleground.”

 

“I won’t be five minutes,” Flesher says. He shuts the door behind him.

 

“Fine,” Alex sighs. “Make it quick, and remember… I’m not inclined to give favors.”

 

“I don’t blame you,” Flesher says. “And even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. You know more about how this business works than anyone short of maybe Brian or Mark. I mean, it’s not just any schmuck who gives me so much trouble that I can’t beat him clean.”

 

“And it’s not just any schmuck who’s known you long enough to see through that act,” Alex says. “Tom, I thought you’d give me more credit than to pull that with me again. So cut the crap.”

 

“It’s about Allison,” he says.

 

“Next.”

 

“What?” Flesher says, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I don’t want to hear it. This is between the three of you, there’s no reason for me to involve myself.”

 

“That’s the thing, Alex,” says Flesher. “Allison’s so confused right now… and Ann’s being such a bitch about the whole thing…”

 

“… because you walked out on her last week.”

 

Flesher sighs. “I was frustrated, okay?”

 

Alex looks at his watch.

 

“Alright, listen. Allison’s a solid manager, but Ann’s not willing to let her work for both of us at the same time. Alli’s a big girl, she can make her own decisions, but neither of us is making this very easy. So how about this?” Flesher smiles ever so slightly. “Ann Onita. Tom Flesher. Allison’s managerial services on the line… in a…”

 

“Ladder match.”

 

“What?!”

 

“You heard me,” says Alex. “Allison is Ann’s sister. She deserves the advantage.”

 

“But I’ve never – ”

 

“I know. TNT, ELM and then Wildchild. Three ladder matches, three losses. If you want Allison to be your manager that badly, you’ll find a way to win.”

 

Flesher glares.

 

“Take it or leave it, Tom. I don’t have time for this.”

 

Flesher glowers. “I’ll take it,” he says huffily, “but…”

 

“But nothing. Don’t make me miss my flight.”

 

“Fine,” he says. He turns and starts out the door, stopping only to swivel his head. “Good luck against Kibs.”

 

“Don’t… make me miss my flight, Tom.”

 

Fade.

 

===

SWF Smarkdown, April 19, 2004.

© Noble Gas Television. All rights reserved.

The SWF: “Raising workrate by typing faster.”

[the.weej 0]

Just, uh, noticed I forgot Tom's ending promo. Whoops.

 

Just imagine all the stuff about a good show I said in the original closing post was still here. Yep.

 

-Z