Chuck Woolery 0 Report post Posted April 26, 2004 (edited) Preface: Is Liston even here? He'd fucking better be... --- "Who the FUCK is Jimmy Liston?" The scene flickers to life -- a dimly lit, rent-a-Passat, obviously none to comfortable. In the driver's seat is the cool, steady hand of Todd Cortez, focused intently on the road ahead of him; and next to Cortez is his much more hyperactive tag partner, tonight having tossed some red streaks into his jet-black hair, Mike Van Siclen. The self-proclaimed Spectacle is ranting on, apparently, about the match last night. "Seriously, I haven't even heard of the guy, Todd, and he pinned me." ...Liston braces himself, and with a massive heave he throws Van Siclen off forwards, grabbing the Spectacle’s head and driving it down... ...Down... ...DOWN... ...ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR! “DESCENT!” Comet yells. “Liston just hit his finisher onto a steel chair!” ... ...and Liston hooks Van Siclen’s leg. ONE! TWO! THREE! "He fucking pinned me, Todd? Where the fuck were you, anyway?" Todd looks over at his partner. "I was still smarting from the Caribbean Cutter on the entrance ramp." On the outside, Wildchild squares off against Todd Cortez. Knowing that he can’t match the straight-edger for speed or striking power, Wildchild watches his opponent carefully - then ducks under a roundhouse kick from the Urban Legend and darts behind him. Cortez twists, trying to follow his slippery opponent, and Wildchild boots him in the stomach before nailing him with the Caribbean Cutter! “Caribbean Cutter on the steel entrance ramp!” Comet yells. “That’ll break your head, Citizens!” "Right? Well, I don't remember you getting pinned..." "I got pinned off a Soul Crusher, Mike." Janus is stirring, the huge man still unwilling to stay down. Grimly, Aecas grabs his shoulder and helps his monstrous partner up. Janus staggers over to the far ropes and leans against them, and Aecas grabs Todd Cortez’ legs, turns the straight-edger around so the Black Angel is facing away from the Hell Machine... and tucks one leg under each arm. “Robert, if you’re at all fond of Todd Cortez, I suggest you look away now...” Comet suggests. Grinning out at the crowd, Aecas falls backwards. Cortez flies up and forwards as the Black Angel’s knees act as a fulcrum, catapulting the straight-edger RIGHT INTO A GORE~! FROM JANUS! “SOUL CRUSHER!!” Comet roars as the Hell Machine BLASTS straight into the Urban Legend’s ribcage. “Janus just mutilated Todd Cortez!” All the double-teaming from earlier has weakened the Hell Machine, but not enough to prevent him from completing the job. Grimacing, Janus hooks the leg of Todd Cortez and brings all of his 360lbs to bear on the straight-edger’s shoulders as Sexton Hardcastle drops down to count... ONE! TWO! THREE! Todd lifts up his shirt, and we can see a layer of bandages circling his chest, trying to contain the swelling from the vicious tag move that Cortez felt at the hands of the Trinity. Van Siclen winces, pulling Cortez's shirt back down, and he begins speaking once more. "Okay, dude, so they pretty much gang-beat us." "I wouldn't call it a gang-beating, but very close, yes." "Well, you're from the Streets, jackass. What do you do when you get gang-beat?" "Generally... one gets even." "And how does one do that?" "One generally regains what is lost." In the rearview mirror, we can see Todd grin uncharacteristically. "In your case, what little dignity you had." Van Siclen chuckles himself. "You're picking shit up from me here, Todd. Yeah, I guess so... so I got pinned by Liston for the Hardcore belt. Not that I've ever really wanted the Hardcore belt, but, you know... it'd be nice, something to put on the mantle. Hey, where's that file you keep?" "In my bag, which is in the back seat." "Yo, cameraman! Toss me Todd's bag, would you?" The camera points downward, as whoever the cameraman is (we still haven't seen him!) grabs Todd's bag and hands it to Van Siclen. "Thanks, man, I appreciate it." Van Siclen begins rummaging through Todd's bag, grabbing a thick black binder out of it and opening it up. "Liston... Liston... bingo!" "What are you looking for, anyway?" the Urban Legend asks, seeming genuinely curious. "I'm looking for Liston's file, man. The little fuck embarrassed me, mainly because I still don't know who he is and his punk ass pinned me." At 'punk ass' the cameraman snorts, and Van Siclen flips him off carelessly. "Seriously, Todd, I have a bit of a mantra: when someone humiliates me, I get them back double. And in Liston's case, I'm thinking triple, just because I'm that pissed." The car is silent for a few moments as Van Siclen scans Liston's profile. Finally he lets out a huge sigh, causing Cortez to glance at him. "What?" "This Liston doesn't have enough of a personality for me to find a flaw in it." "Look harder, I remember something about Calvinball." "...what the fuck is Calvinball?" "I looked it up, it's a type of wrestling match in which the wrestlers themselves set the rules." "...oh, because that makes so much sense." "Apparently he won it, something about the Empire State Building? I don't really remember, but then again it's Jimmy Liston, there's nothing too memorable about him." Van Siclen grins. "Man, you're leeching off of me more than you know here. Anyway... I suppose I could challenge this Liston to a Calvinball match for the Hardcore championship. Or even better, go right over his head and ask Zenon for a shot." Todd nods, and Van Siclen continues. "And then, if he says no, I can punch him in the face and make him say differently." This elicits a laugh from the cameraman and a small smile from Cortez, as Van Siclen continues. "And then, after I beat Liston, I suppose you and I can take on the Trinity and beat their asses again. In Crowd, two-time tag champions?" "Mike, about this In Crowd thing..." "Look, Todd, generally I let you barge in, but you're interfering with my plans here, okay?" Todd sighs, but gives in, perhaps thinking that if he lets Mike talk a little longer he'll keel over and die. Van Siclen continues. "And then, I can go on a diet, lose ten pounds or so, come back and beat Johnny Dangerous for the Cruiserweight belt -- hey, he didn't save me from jobbing to this Demon fellow, did he?" Todd shakes his head no, and Van Siclen continues. "And after that, I'm going to face Toxxic for the ICTV belt -- if the goofy fuck can hold onto it for more than three shows this time -- and job him out, too, because he bailed instead of fighting the tag fall. Some man, eh?" "Eh, indeed." "Right... four shows should be enough time to do all this, right, Todd?" Todd nods. "Right. And then, I'll be the first-ever quadruple champion, all the wrongs from the Triple Quadruple match will have been righted, and then... well, I guess I should start now." Van Siclen turns around, staring dead on into the camera. "Hey, Liston? I know you're watching this somewhere, with your Hardcore belt wrapped around your waist. I hope you're enjoying that now, and I hope double that you've got the balls to answer to me, because I'm calling you out right here, right now. SWF Storm, man, I want you, one-on-one, Calvinball rules, for your Hardcore belt." Van Siclen grins. "If you can beat me once you can beat me again, right, Jimmy? If you've got any balls whatsoever, we'll see this Friday." Van Siclen turns around, looking at the road ahead. The In Crowd drives on silently for a few moments, before Van Siclen's voice pierces the silence once again. "Shut that shit off." FADE OUT. Edited April 26, 2004 by Chuck Woolery Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hank Kingsley 0 Report post Posted April 27, 2004 I, too, question the decision to have Liston win the HCG title. Give 'im hell, Mike. Oh, good promo, too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted April 27, 2004 Liston got the belt because our little team is no more, so we didn't want the tag titles. I wanted the damn ICTV belt but it seemed a little unfair to deny Liston the chance to win anything. Oh and Mike - I think Aecas may want a "word" with you about the whole Hardcore contender thing... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hank Kingsley 0 Report post Posted April 27, 2004 Wait... you're saying Liston is actually active? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted April 27, 2004 Yup. He was a little pressed for time before the PPV and I had a lot of free time last week, so i offered to take it on myself, but he's around and prepared to show apparently. I will let him know that he won the title though, just in case he hasn't seen it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hhh6294 0 Report post Posted April 28, 2004 so the dude who's disappeared for months on end won a title belt and probably doesn't even know it? geeze... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted April 28, 2004 Liston got the belt because our little team is no more, so we didn't want the tag titles... Well... that's... interesting... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Goose749 Report post Posted April 28, 2004 so the dude who's disappeared for months on end won a title belt and probably doesn't even know it? geeze... yeah... college is great, isn't it? look, I actually told Toxxic that I didn't want a title. I haven't gotten into the beat of writing matches again, plus the next two weeks are going to be hell for me without having to write a match. ... ok, it's Wednesday now. I have a western traditions paper due Thursday, a chem test Friday, a history take-home final and term paper due Tuesday next week, plus two other finals... maybe I can squeeze something out for Friday, even if it's just for me to get horribly massacred. btw, the reason I won that Calvinball match was because it was so over-the-top, and because I'm a huge Calvin & Hobbes fan Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted April 28, 2004 look, I actually told Toxxic that I didn't want a title. Sorry man, I thought you'd agreed to it in the end! Well, you could just request time off from the bookers for "Jimmy time" or something... Either way, good to see another soon-to-be-active face around. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Suicide King Report post Posted April 29, 2004 On a related note, if MVS ever becomes a quadruple champion I will eat Edwin's hat. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Goodear Report post Posted April 29, 2004 I'm just sad he doesn't want my belt at all... here I am all feudless and wandering and with a bad knee... sniff sniff. Aw fuck it, I want other people's belts more too! Come here you hippies! Not you Alan, the other hippies! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted April 29, 2004 If you're looking for a feud then feel free to start something, Hick boy. Assuming the Trinity don't get to me first. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
