SWF Smarkdown!

[the.weej 0]

The job of SWF security was a relatively easy one, Simon Stone reflects. The roster these days were a peaceable bunch by and large and tended to settle things in the ring or by mouthing off to each other. Of course there had been that nasty business with Alan Clark and Thugg a few months back, not to mention the show after the Clusterfuuck when Va’aiga had gone around LARIATOOOOOO~ing everyone in sight even though he’d WON the World Title, but overall...

 

A bulky shape emerging into the foyer jerks him from his reverie, and Simon curses his train of thought because this is certainly someone from the old school. Rumour has it that Nathaniel Kibagami is far calmer than he used to be, but Simon can remember the days of the Clan, and Silent’s quest to destroy the Carnival. Nevertheless the River Dragon appears in a placid mood today, walking along deep in thought - in fact, probably going over strategies for his match against Danny Williams later. So it is only an instinct from the past that makes Simon turn his head and track the World Champion’s projected course, looking for possible flashpoints. And it is only a recently-developed one that recognises the risk inherent in the smaller shape with black spiky hair that is walking the other way taking a swig from a can of Frost brand Cola.

 

“Shit,” Simon nudges Jake in the ribs, causing the other guard to give a quick masterclass in the long-practiced art of Looking Alert Even Thought You’ve Been Daydreaming.

 

“What?” his partner mutters out of the corner of his mouth, eyes scanning the corridor with every appearance of efficiency.

 

“There.” Simon gestures discreetly, hoping not to make the situation worse. With any luck the two men will stay in their own little worlds and pass each other without noticing - then one pair of dark eyes looks up and locks with a pair of grey eyes peering out from behind the can. And as Simon watches in dismay World Champ and Straight-Edger start to come together like Titanic and iceberg.

 

“Kibagami,” Toxxic greets the River Dragon. “You’re looking well... for a washed-up, broken down sack of shit.”

 

“Toxxic,” Kibagami responds with mock politeness. “You’re looking well too... for someone who I dropped on his head a couple of shows back.” The Slaughterer pats the Heavyweight Title that rests around his waist. “I beat YOU, and now I’m the World Heavyweight Champion as well - not bad, for a broken down, washed-up sack of shit.” The smile on the River Dragon’s face is wide and genuine; despite his impending rematch against Danny Williams, it is going to take more than an arrogant straight-edge punk to ruin his good mood.

 

Of course, Toxxic is more than willing to oblige.

 

“We’re at 1-1 genius, or did Danny Williams elbow the ability to count out of your head?” the Brit bites out. “Not that it matters; the only counting you’ll need to do next time you’re in the ring with me is from ‘one’ to ‘three’, and you wouldn’t even be able to do that cos you’d be bloody unconscious, sunshine!” Kibagami’s eyes start to narrow, but Toxxic either doesn’t see the warning signs or carries on regardless. “Of course, that ain’t gonna happen anytime soon, is it?” the Straight-Edge Sensation asks rhetorically. “Because your precious little Alexander Zenon won’t let me get in the ring with you; you’re too VALUABLE.”

 

“Alexander Zenon is not ‘precious’ to me,” Kibagami informs Toxxic coldly. “And if you watch Battleground, you might see that. It might also serve as a warning to you for what will happen if you REALLY piss me off.” The River Dragon makes to brush past the irritating Brit - but the ICTV Champion is not in a mood to be shrugged off lightly.

 

“You seem to think that YOU are what matters in this fed,” Toxxic tells Kibagami’s back. “You think that because you came back and won a couple of matches, it makes you the best. Well I’ve got news for you sunshine - ain’t true. There are people who’ve been here months busting their bloody guts, working night in, night out to get where you are. And how’d you get there? Because Mark Stevens thought he’d give you another chance, and bloody Zenon was so damn intent on destroying you that the fans actually gave a shit about you; you have done SWEET FUCK ALL worthy of being on top-”

 

“I have beaten Edwin MacPhisto,” Nathaniel replies, turning around - and now a hint of the old menace has crept into his voice. “And for all your bluster, you cannot say the sa-”

 

“SO FUCKING WHAT!?” Toxxic yells at the champ, all self-restraint gone. “I KNOW you beat MacPhisto, I sat at home in Nottingham and watched it on my fucking TV! But what else? Is that it? Is that what you’re basing this on, one victory nine months ago? You walk around, chewing over old wins like mouthfuls of stale vomit and convince yourself that your shit doesn’t stink and your piss is a fine wine!”

 

“I am not perfect,” Kibagami growls back, “but I am better than you, you arrogant cock-sucking punk! Fuck you, and fuck Zenon! I don’t give a damn what he says; if you want my title - COME AND TAKE IT!”

 

“Is that meant to SCARE me?” Toxxic demands. “The big bad World Champion, telling the rookie to bring it? I’ve done more in three months than you managed in thirteen years, and I managed it without being some psycho junkie addicted to painkill-”

 

“Be very careful what you say,” Kibagami states flatly, taking a step closer to the ICTV Champion, “if you want to be around to defend that title tonight against Janus.”

 

“Oh yes, Janus, another one of your great ideas!” Toxxic responds. “Face it, Kibagami or Silent or whatever the bloody hell you call yourself; you are NOTHING. You built your terrifying reputation on drug addiction, painkillers, and a move you stole from Edwin MacPhisto-”

 

“Last chance,” Kibagami cuts him off. “You can still walk away from this.”

 

Something in the River Dragon’s voice must have got through the layers of anger that surround the Straight-Edger, because Toxxic’s eyes seem to properly focus on the World Champion for the first time. The Brit sees Kibagami boring holes into him, and for a moment a flicker of uncertainty crosses Toxxic’s face.

 

But Toxxic is who he is. And for all his flaws, faults and egomania - or possibly because of them - he will never, ever back down.

 

“Go on,” Kibagami tells him quietly. “Turn around and walk away. And then maybe I won’t take you apart like every other snot-nosed little punk who couldn’t stand being beaten.”

 

At the word ‘little’ Toxxic’s head comes up.

 

“How does it feel,” the Straight-Edge Sensation whispers, stepping up and peering into Kibagami’s eyes, “to know that everything you are comes from needles and broken necks?”

 

There is a split second of peace when the world seems to hold its breath. Then-

 

*CRACK!*

 

Kibagami lashes out with a kick to Toxxic’s ribs, doubling the straight-edger over. Cursing, Simon and Jake start to move, but their reactions are not on a par with those of the World Champion. The River Dragon rips a fire extinguisher from off the wall, swings-

 

*WHAM!!*

 

-and NAILS Toxxic in the head with it! The Straight-Edge Sensation literally skids across the floor of the foyer, but before he can even try and pick himself up Kibagami is on him again. Hauling the half-stunned Brit to his feet Kibagami simply grabs him under each arm, pivots ninety degrees and hurls Toxxic through the air...

 

KER-SSSSSMMAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!*

 

...and through the glass doors of the General Motors Place foyer.

 

Simon and Jake skid to a halt beside Nathaniel Kibagami as the River Dragon takes in the results of his handiwork, less than four seconds’ work. Toxxic is lying in a glittering sea of glass shards, and from under his body an easily-recognisable red fluid is starting to leak. The eyes of the River Dragon are cold as he looks down at the body of the Straight-Edge Sensation.

 

Then Toxxic half rolls over in the glass, and despite the blood pouring from his face and through the rips in the back of his T-shirt, he tries to get up.

 

It takes both Jake and Simon to hold back Nathaniel Kibagami as he starts to lunge forward, and they only just manage it. If the World Champion had bothered to try and remove them from the equation Simon knows that they would not be able to restrain him long - but Kibagami is only focused on the man in front of him.

 

“Quick!” the struggling Simon yells at one of the terrified receptionists, “Get some more people down here! Get the medics! And for fuck’s sake, someone call Zenon!”

[the.weej 0]

Card:

 

MAIN EVENT

SINGLES MATCH

WORLD TITLE BOUT

Nathaniel Kibagami© vs "Deathwish" Danny Williams

Rules: Standard singles match

 

SUBMISSION MATCH

BEST-OF-FIVE SERIES, MATCH TWO OF FIVE

Dace Night vs "The Superior One" Tom Flesher

Rules: Submissions are all that matter. First one to quit loses.

 

LADDER MATCH

ICTV TITLE BOUT

Toxxic© vs Janus

Rules: The title is suspended 18ft. or so above the ring. First one to remove it wins. Yes, I'm serious about this.

 

TAG TEAM MATCH

TAG TEAM TITLE BOUT

Hollywood Boulevard© vs The Wayward Sons

Rules: Standard tag match.

 

CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT

Johnny Dangerous© vs Ace Lezaire

Rules: Cruiserweight rules.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Ryan Dustin vs "The Notorious" John Duran

Rules: Standard singles match.

 

FATAL FOUR WAY

HARDCORE TITLE NO.1 CONTENDERSHIP

Crow vs Insane Luchador vs Aecas vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix

Rules: None. Well, okay, one. First pin wins.

[the.weej 0]

The opening video has played, the pyro has hit...and it's time to kick Smarkdown off, so it's down to the social misfit announce team of Bobby Riley and Cyclone Comet to do the honors...

 

"Welcome to Smarkdown...and already, it's time to put the women and children to bed! A fourway hardcore match kicks us off, with the winner in-line for a shot at Mike Van Siclen's Hardcore Title. Three very hardcore men, synonymous with sick, masochistic brawls...and, Landon Maddix, who's curiously been put into this match despite having a VERY limited experience of these sorts of matches."

 

"There's nothing curious about it." snaps Riley, clearly none too happy tonight. "Poor Landon has been placed in this match because Zenon doesn't like him. You've got the psychotic Aecas, the masochistic Insane Luchador and the blatantly uncaring Crowe. And then there's poor Landon..."

 

"...who by the end of the night, may no longer be USJL Triple Crown champion...one way, or the other."

 

"Huh?"

 

"If he gets severely injured tonight, how will he be able to defend the title?"

 

".....Oh...you're right. This is horrible!"

 

Suddenly the lights cut to complete darkness, to little reaction from the fans who aren't sure who's on their way. After all, who's entrance DOESN'T involve the lights going out nowadays? It's not until "Imperium" by Machine Head hits that the crowd begin to cheer wildly amongst the increasingly high-tempo guitar...

 

 

 

“HHEEEAAAARRRR ME NNNNOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!”

 

"RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The arena is now bathed briefly in a brooding red light...which goes almost as quickly as it arrives, leaving a spotlight in the middle of the stage...fixed upon Crow, who receives many more cheers from his loyal fans.

 

“Hear me now!

Words I vow!

No fucking regrets!”

 

Dropping his outstretched arms, Crow turns with a cigarette in his mouth before pulling out his Zippo and slashes it back and forward across his pants.

 

”Fuck these chains!

No god damn slave!

I will be different!”

 

Lighting the cigarette, Crow flicks the Zippo behind him...

 

 

"FWWWOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!"

 

...to an eruption of fire, drawing more cheers from the fans as he begins to walk down the aisle.

 

"I'll stand here defiantly!

My middle finger raised!

Fuck your prejudice!"

 

 

"This four-way contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the number one contendership to the SWF Hardcore Championship!!! Introducing at this time...combatant number one. Hailing from Anchorage, Alaska...he weighs two hundred and thirty pounds...THE ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR...THIS...IS...CRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!"

 

"No sign of Jessica here tonight..." points out Cyclone solemnly. "...which is little surprise, considering what that sick freak Janus...her OWN BROTHER...did to her."

 

Crow by now has reached the ring, climbing up the steps and entering the ring as his music has already ceased ready for the next man to come out. Of course Crow isn't bothered though, simply walking over to one corner of the ring and taking a seat, still enjoying the nicotine goodness emanating from his cigarette...

 

 

...while the lights go out again, as this time "Schism" by Tool begins to play while blue and red lights start to shoot around the arena, followed closely by a shower of black and red pyro falling from the SmarkTron.

 

"I know the pieces fit

Because I watch them fall away"

 

A few moments past, before from out of the pyro walks The Insane Luchador, smirking as he begins to walk down the aisle...but that smirk disappears and is replaced by a frighteningly sadistic look as he sees the camera pointed on him. The showering of pyro ends moments later, as IL continues his walk.

 

"Combatant number two. From Easton, Pennsylvania...he weighs two hundred one pounds...HE IS...THE INSAAAAANEEE LUUUUUCHHHAAADOOOORRRRRR!!!"

 

IL reaches the ring, sliding in as suddenly Crow pops up from the corner, flicking his cigarette out to the floor where one of the ring crew quickly puts it out for safety...as IL sees Crow, and turns towards him. The two sick human beings are now standing face to face, glaring at each other like two...well...sick human beings, who both smell blood. The unfortunate referees assigned to the match...Eddy Long and Sexton Hardcastle...stand idly by, not prepared to even attempt to separate the two...

 

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

...as suddenly, a rather abrupt beginning to Incubus' "Megalomaniac" brings Landon Maddix out from the back, and turns the fans attention to their usual reactions.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

With his three belts all in the arms of Megan Skye who walks slowly behind her man, Landon looks ready for action...except of course for the look of immense worry on his face. But despite that, Maddix gallantly strides down the aisle, getting absolutely no reaction from either Crow or IL who are still staring each other down.

 

"Combatant number three hails from Huron, South Dakota. Weighing two hundred and ten pounds...he is the reigning USJL TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION...LAAAAANDOOON..."LA CUCARACHA"...MAAAAAADDIIIIIXXX!!!"

 

More boos hit America's Triple Crowner, but he is too busy keeping a nervous eye on the two members of his opposition in the ring incase they were to dive out and attack him to care. He should be more worried however that only two men stand in the ring...as suddenly, the lights drop again to an eruption of noise from the crowd!

 

*DOOOOOOOOONNNGGG!!!*

 

"Are you scared?"

 

 

"Get ready for some sickness!" Comet quickly cuts in.

 

"HE'S HERE......"

 

Amon Amarth's "Death in Fire" blasts out from the arena speakers as a lighting flash highlights Aecas on the Smarktron, his trademark sadistic grin on his face. And as the red strobes start up and the smoke billows out onto the stage, the real Aecas is picked out in a blood red spotlight, holding his trusty Flick Scythe in his hand. While this is going on, Landon and Megan are quickly moving their way around the ring to relative safety...while they still have the legs to do so.

 

 

"And the final combatant. From Shrewsbury England...he weighs three...hundred...and fifteen pounds. This is the BLACK ANGEL...AAAAAAAAAEEEEEECAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!"

 

Another booming reception of cheers fills the air, as Aecas raises the staff high above his head and snaps out a blade from it...before tipping back his head...

 

*PHHHHFFF!*

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

...and spraying a mist of blood into the air, getting more roars and cheers from the crowd as he begins to stride down the aisle.

 

"Let the masochism begin!" beams Cyclone Comet, in a rare show of approval for brutality.

 

"Wait, not yet...we need to get Landon out of here first."

 

"Well, I won't dignify that with a response...but on the subject, I am wondering why Landon's allowing Megan Skye to stay out here."

 

"Somebody needs to hold Landon's belt collection."

 

"Ah...I see...WOAH, AND IT'S BEGUN IN THE RING!!!"

 

 

And sure enough it has, with Crow and IL both lunging forwards with right hands as soon as light begins to return to the arena.

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

The bell rings, as Crow and IL continue to duke it out...soon to be joined by Aecas who has dropped his staff to the floor on his way to the ring, and is just now rolling in. But, as soon as he does, IL and Crow pull away from each other and jump the seven footer before he can reach a standing position, hammering him with forearms and punches on the deck.

 

"Crow and Luchador working together!" exclaims Comet. "This I did not expect!"

 

"It won't last." sneers Riley. "But neither guy is stupid. They know Aecas is the big threat in this match...as far as hardcore goes, that is. 'Cause without that, he couldn't hold a candle to Landon."

 

The crowd are a little surprised that this fragile union that has arisen, and greet it with stunned silence as the strikes continue to rain down on The Black Angel. Landon stands with Megan to the side of the announce table, watching all this with interest but not wanting any actual part of it...as IL and Crow allow Aecas to reach his feet, before continuing the strikes on the still stunned bigman. After a couple of kicks, IL turns and pushes Crow back to give himself some more room...but Crow quickly grabs IL, pulling him back and taking over on Aecas for a while. That doesn't sit well with IL, who spins Crow around and starts to yell at him to keep his hands to himself. Suddenly, Aecas moves out from the ropes, which pulls Crow and IL away from their argument, and back to double-teaming him with stiff strikes for a few moments before grabbing the bigman with an arm each to whip him across the ring. As Aecas hits the ropes, Crow tries to lock hands with IL, who pig-headedly pulls away...

 

...allowing Aecas to nail a Double Decapitator!!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Quickly IL rolls away from Aecas until he reaches the safety of the floor, but Crow is not so lucky as The Black Angel grabs him by the pants and drags him to his feet. Crow swings with a back elbow, which connects but does little damage to Aecas, who retaliates with a knee to the kidneys. That stops Crow in his tracks, and allows Aecas to run off the ropes...

 

 

"YAAAKUUUZZZAAA KICK!!!" yells Comet...

 

...despite Crow ducking it! Aecas sprawls forwards, as Crow charges in after Aecas and hooks him in a bulldog headlock. However Aecas senses what's coming, and before The Antichrist Superstar can drop him to the mat Aecas pushes him off, up and over the top rope! It's now that Aecas finally catches sight of Maddix, and dares him to come into the ring...an invitation which Landon respectively declines. Meanwhile, IL is rolling back into the ring behind Aecas and preparing to strike...but Aecas senses him coming, and quickly wipes him out with a BIG-TIME forearm before Luchador has chance to attack!

 

"Aecas is beginning to take over, which is what you would expect..."

 

"Yeah, but don't count out Landon!" beams Riley, still ecstatic his pick hasn't got involved yet.

 

Once again Aecas turns to Maddix, telling him to bring it or he'll bring it himself. Landon shows no signs of moving, as Aecas shrugs his shoulders, and begins to leave the ring to go get him...

 

 

*CRAAACK!*

 

 

...BUT GETS NAILED WITH A CHAIRSHOT BY CROW!!!

 

Aecas collapses back through the ropes, as Landon and Megan applaud mockingly at Crow's actions. That is until Crow glares over at the happy couple, and smugly flips them off to a generous helping of cheers from the crowd!

 

"That's TOTALLY uncalled for!" whines Riley.

 

"Oh...I don't know about that." Comet replies with a smile.

 

Landon looks shocked, but obviously not shocked enough to go after Crow, who rolls into the ring with the chair still in his hands. Aecas is up to his feet, but unable to stop Crow slamming a boot into his ribs before adjusting hold of the chair...

 

*CRRRAAAAACK!*

 

...and slamming it over Aecas' head!!! The bigman's body jolts and he drops to one knee, but not down to the mat which seems to annoy Crow a little...raising the chair in the air again, and yelling at The Black Angel to get back up. Slowly the bigman does so, but unluckily for Crow he has the presence of mind to reach out and grab him by the throat! From the shock Crow drops the chair and starts to try and struggle from Aecas' grip, which is no easy task...at least not without the help of The Insane Luchador, who runs over...but gets grabbed by the throat by Aecas' free arm! Aecas now has both men goozled, and with no Landon to help them out they seem easy pickings.

 

"Aecas may very well simply choke these two guys out here!" exclaims Comet. "It's perfectly legal after all."

 

"I've heard stories about him and that sort of thing...which wasn't really legal...but that's for another day and time."

 

"Obviously..."

 

However, with both men caught, Aecas seems at a loss as to what to do. In the end, Crow and IL make the decision for him with a double boot to the groin...before simultaneously spinning underneath the arm that's holding them. Both Aecas' arms are now locked behind him, one hooked by each man, as both Crow and IL reach for Aecas' legs...and standing up as tall as possible, to take the bigman up in something resembling a double Gory Guerrero Special!!!

 

"Wow! Look at this move!" Comet once more exclaims. "These 'masochists' can wrestle too."

 

"They can while La...woah, hold up Comet...stand up."

 

"Stand up? Wha..."

 

Obviously bored of standing around, Landon Maddix has now taken a detour and has decided to join the commentary team...much to Riley's glee, as he stands up and helps Maddix with his head-set.

 

"Landon...Landon, it's a pleasure!" Riley stammers in needless awe."

 

"The pleasure's all mine Bobby." Landon replies. "I thought you might need some intelligent conversation over here, so..."

 

"You don't know just how much..."

 

"Well, Landon...er...you kind of have a match right now." interrupts Comet.

 

"I know that Cyclops. But me and Megan had a busy weekend, so I'm just catching up on some scouting..."

 

Unable to hold the three hundred pounder any longer, Crow and IL flip Aecas off the double Guerrero special...and while Luchador holds his arms in the air triumphantly, Crow is now leaving the ring and throwing the apron skirt up to reveal the goodies under the ring. And to perhaps little surprise, Crow re-emerges with a Singapore cane in hand and a sadistic grin on his face as he rolls back into the ring. Quickly Luchador tries to get on Crow's good side by pulling Aecas up, and holding him up for Crow to take a free-swing. Gladly he does so...

 

 

*THWAAACK!*

 

...connecting to the ribs of the bigman...

 

*THWAAACK!*

 

...a second time...

 

 

*THWAAACK!*

 

...and finally a third cane shot! Aecas is doubled over, but still not down despite the cane shots and a stiff kick from Luchador moments later...so Crow takes another step back and swings for the head...

 

...but Aecas ducks, and Crow ALMOST hits IL who manages to duck just in time. Aecas quickly turns as Crow and IL regroup, and charges towards Crow looking for a Yakuza Kick. Crow immediately hits the deck...

 

*SMACK!*

 

...but Luchador is not so lucky!

 

"Yakuza Kick connects to Luchador! This bigman is unstoppable!"

 

"We'll see Cyclops, we'll see."

 

"It's...it's Cyclone."

 

"Whatever."

 

With Luchador down, Aecas regains his feet and turns around towards Crow who is backing off the ropes and charging with the cane wielded once more. Instinctively Aecas raises a boot for Crow to run into, but The Antichrist Superstar baseball slides underneath that, and quickly trades his cane for the nearby steel chair. And with that he promptly swings at Aecas...but the bigman again ducks, sliding behind Crow and locking on a waistlock, before popping the hips and sending Crow crashing through the air with a release german suplex! As Crow crashes to the mat, Aecas hears commotion and turns around...

 

*THWAAACK!*

 

...getting the Singapore cane LASHED over his head by The Insane Luchador!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!"

 

Aecas staggers and drops to one knee from the stinging shot, as Luchador quickly drops the cane for some reason, and connects with a basement dropkick to the jaw of the bigman. Finally Aecas is down, and Luchador looks to take advantage as he grabs the steel chair and sets it up in the centre of the ring before running off the ropes. As he does so, Aecas gallantly drags himself to his feet...just in time for Luchador to launch himself off the chair...who gets caught in mid-air, and planted with an inverted atomic drop from a good five feet off the mat. That jolts IL, who quickly has his teeth adjusted with a forearm smash by The Black Angel. But surprisingly, IL is up moments later...

 

 

...AND LAUGHING!?!

 

"What the...THE CRAZY S.O.B IS...LAUGHING!?!" wails Riley fearfully.

 

"Why do they keep putting me against these freaks!?!" Landon ponders.

 

Aecas seems a little surprised at IL's reaction...but is soon laughing himself! And both the crazy psychos are laughing together now! The joint guffawing continues, until Aecas abruptly stops...and charges at Luchador, who deftly side-steps him. Coming back off the ropes, Aecas looks to charge straight into his smaller opponent but Luchador is one step ahead, hooking Aecas on the way back with a drop toe hold...

 

*CRAAACK!*

 

...sending him head-first into the chair, which promptly collapses and folds The Black Angel's cranium amongst the steel for good measure!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

Not wasting any time, IL snaps back up and climbs out to the apron while encouraging Aecas to get up. Slowly the seven footer does, and IL immediately springboards to the top rope and looks for a springboard hurricanrana...but gets caught...and POWERBOMBED with hellacious velocity to the mat!

 

"Oooohhhh!" groans Maddix. "I've felt those mothas, and they hurt like hell."

 

"Mothas?" asks Comet, not expecting or getting an answer.

 

Aecas hangs on to the helpless Luchador and hoists him back off the mat...holding him up for long enough for Luchador to think about it...before DRILLING him with a second powerbomb! But he's not done there, picking IL up for a third brutal powerbomb. However, Crow is back up and shoves Luchador over Aecas' head...sending him tumbling over the top and to the concrete floor!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!"

 

Luchador smacks the concrete hard, and looks to be motionless...as back in the ring, Crow is now off-loading with a series of right hands to Aecas. The Black Angel finds himself rocked back against the ropes where the rights continue relentlessly, until Crow grabs hold of the arm and tries to whip Aecas across the ring. Aecas manages to reverse though, and pull Crow into a choke...raising him into the air and nailing a Chokebreaker which almost snaps Crow in half!

 

"As I said earlier, these three self-professed masochists are showing that they can wrestle too." re-iterates Cyclone.

 

"Phff! Since when did wrestling involves sticks and chairs?" Landon sneers.

 

"Usually when you're looking to cheat."

 

"Come on Cyclops...ease off the hostility. Just wait until I get in there. Then you'll see some wrestling!"

 

"Oh, so you are planning on getting in the ring tonight then."

 

"Would you leave him alone!" snaps Riley. "He's the USJL Triple Crown Champion!"

 

"So?"

 

Crow is down in the middle of the ring, Luchador is laid out on the outside and Landon is busy on commentary. So now, Aecas is free to leave the ring and search for some 'toys' underneath the ring. Lifting up the apron skirt, Aecas takes a glance under...and grins sadistically, as he reaches under and retrieves...

 

 

...A BUNDLE OF LIGHT-TUBES!!!

 

 

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

 

"See, this is what I was afraid of." mumbles Maddix in worry.

 

"Me too." Riley sheeply agrees.

 

Bundling in the five tied up tubes, Aecas turns to the crowd and grins...met with another round of cheers from the crazy Canuck crowd. Now Aecas is grinning like a Cheshire cat as he rolls back into the ring, taking his time about going after Crow, who is slowly getting back to his feet. Almost instinctively The Antichrist Superstar swings with a weak right hand, which Aecas sees coming and blocks before stepping behind Crow with hold of, and locking in a Cobra Clutch! It looks to be the beginning of the end...but before Aecas can fall back and go for the Burning Angel, Crow thrusts his boot upwards...

 

*CHING!*

 

...and in between Aecas' legs. Where the leg stops isn't hard to guess, as The Black Angel releases the Cobra Clutch to tend to his 'private area', giving Crow time to shake off the cobwebs and thrash forward with a not-girlish-in-the-slightest Claw Swipe. Aecas manages to get a hand up to cover his eyes...but only ends up having chunks of flesh slashed off the back of his hand. Crow slashes again, taking more of Aecas' flesh and drawing more blood from the hand.

 

"What the heck is this!?!" sneers Landon. "He's scratching him. When did this become a catfight?"

 

Aecas grits his teeth through the pain, and throws a forearm forward which stops Crow for a moment. But he's able to recover pretty quickly, swinging out and connecting with a Das Wunder Kick that has enough force to send Aecas back into the ropes. And before Aecas can even recover, Crow fires forward...

 

*SMACK!*[/i

 

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

...and hits a knifedge chop, only serving to piss the bigman off. The dropkick that Crow throws moments later does more than that though, staggering Aecas and sending him crashing through the ropes and to the floor. Hitting the concrete, Aecas rolls through and starts to pull himself almost immediately, not wanting to show any signs of weakness.

 

"What an onslaught from Crow!" gasps Comet. "He's got the bigman reeling!"

 

"Is that supposed to impress us?" Riley snaps back. "I'm sitting with the USJL Triple Crown Champion!"

 

"I know, I know."

 

In this time, Crow quickly starts to grab at the string tying the light tubes together until it breaks and frees them. Quickly he grabs one and steps out to the apron...clutching the tube to his chest with one hand as he uses the other to help him leap to the middle rope, and asai moonsault towards Aecas...

 

 

...Aecas moves, but Crow somehow lands on his feet...

 

 

*SMMMAAASSSSSHHH!!!*

 

...AND SMASHES THE LIGHT-TUBE OVER AECAS' HEAD!!!

 

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!"

 

"The bigman is down!" gasps Comet. "And not only that...his face has got to be covered in glass shards!"

 

"Well...that's one down." Landon smugly says, clearly un-caring.

 

Aecas is now laid out on the floor, clutching at his face which has been slashed and quite possibly bloodied. Crow meanwhile seems to have twisted his knee from the moonsault landing...

 

 

...and suddenly, the sound of Landon dropping his head-set and getting up from the announce position can be heard. Boos fill the crowd as they notice too that Landon is leaving his hiding place, and FINALLY...*shock horror*...entering the ring!

 

"Well, it's took him nearly ten minutes...but Landon Maddix is finally in the ring."

 

"Yeah, let the WRESTLING begin!" beams Riley.

 

Obviously, with no-one else in the ring, Landon looks pretty smug as he stands tall in the centre of the squared circle. But he's not alone for long, as The Insane Luchador has recovered from his tumble to the floor, and is rolling into the ring. Maddix meets him with stomps though, gaining the advantage on his much less fresh opponent as he lays in the boots. Eventually backing off, Landon lets IL up before leaping into the air, and catching him on the BUTT of the jaw with a Dropsault...before making the quick cover...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR...NO!!!

 

Angrily Landon glares at Eddy Long...and flips off Sexton Hardcastle, just for the hell of it. IL meanwhile tries to pull himself to his feet, still hurting from his earlier fall...and unable to block a boot to the gut from Maddix. Quickly the USJL Triple Crown Champion grabs Luchador and irish whips him towards the corner, only to have Luchador reverse and send HIM into the buckles...and HARD! IL follows in moments later, leaping onto Maddix and looking for the monkey flip...but Maddix walks out of the corner, hooking his arms under IL's armpits and hoisting him off the monkey flip and into a Skye High...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR...

 

 

...NOILGETSTHESHOULDERUP!!!

 

Again Maddix is angry at the referee...well, referees...as he gets back up. However, that anger distracts him from the fact that Crow is rolling back into the ring, and taking hold of one of the light-tubes behind Maddix.

 

 

"CROW! CROW! CROW!"

 

Slowly La Cucaracha looks around the crowd, wondering why they're chanting...

 

...and turns around, finally realizing what the commotion is about. Shock overcomes Landon and he drops to his knees to beg off, as Crow grins and kicks another one of the light-tubes past Maddix. Maddix meanwhile realizes the trouble he's in, and goes to turn and run...but that other light-tube is now in the hands of The Insane Luchador!

 

"NO!" wails Riley. "This isn't FAIR!"

 

"Landon Maddix is stuck between a rock and an extremely sharp-place!!!"

 

"SMASH HIS FACE! SMASH HIS FACE! SMASH HIS FACE!"

 

The crowd fail to make their feelings secret, as Maddix begs IL not to go for the face as the fans are telling him to. IL isn't going to listen though, and swings back with the tube...

 

 

...but Maddix rolls out of the way...

 

 

...leaving Crow and IL face to face, toe to toe...tube to tube!!!

 

 

"Oh my!" yells Comet over the buzzing crowd. "Would you look at this face-off!!!"

 

Both IL and Crow have now stopped, daring the other to make the first move. Meanwhile, the crowd's buzzing has increased, as Aecas rolls back into the ring...bleeding from the forehead, but clearly not worried as he charges across the ring. IL turns after hearing the stomps...

 

 

*SMMMAAASSSSSHHH!!!*

 

...AND GETS GOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEED, WITH THE LIGHT-TUBE SMASHING INTO HIS GUT WITH AECAS!!!

 

 

IL goes flying out of the ring from the impact...

 

 

*SMMMAAASSSSSHHH!!!*

 

...AS CROW BREAKS HIS LIGHT-TUBE OVER AECAS' BACK!!!

 

 

"The glass is flying now!" gasps Riley. "And thank Todd, it's flying away from Maddix!"

 

Now Aecas rolls from the ring too, as Crow looks at his hand which seems to have been sliced open by the breaking glass...but it doesn't bother him. In-fact, it's the opposite. Crow is SMILING at his cut hand...

 

 

*CHING!*

 

...but he's not smiling for long, as Maddix lunges forward and hits a lowblow!!!

 

"YES!" screams Riley. "Beautiful!!! And perfectly legal...so keep your mouth shut Comet!"

 

Crow doubles over...hardcore or not, even he is hurt by a lowblow. Maddix meanwhile is back up, and STILL unscathed, grabbing the steel chair still laying on the mat and moving past Crow to the corner. Hopping to the middle rope, Maddix grins out to the jeering crowd before placing the chair in front of Crow's face, while hooking his head up.

 

"Oh no...surely not..."

 

"Oh yes! Oh yes Comet!"

 

With Crow hooked, Maddix grins once more before propelling off the ropes, and spinning Crow around...

 

 

 

*CRAAACK!!!*

 

...WITH A CHAIR ASSISTED CRASH LANDON!!! Crow is out cold, as Landon makes the cover...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEE!!! LANDON WINS!!!

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"I don't believe this. Landon sat out here the entire match...and now...he's the number one contender!"

 

"Brilliant, isn't it?"

 

Rolling off the cover, Maddix scrambles as far away from the ring as possible to avoid any after-match hardcore activities, as Megan scuttles around the ring with Landon's belts, ready to kick-start the celebrations.

 

"Here is your winner...and the number one contender to the SWF Hardcore Title...THE USJL TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION...LAAAAAANDOOON MAAAAADDIIIIXXX!!!"

 

Boos fill the General Motors Place, as Maddix and Megan embrace in the aisle and begin to scurry away from ringside...as Aecas is up, and glaring at the USJL Triple Crown Champion, unconcerned with the trickle of blood from his forehead beginning to flow more and more quickly towards his snarling teeth. But for now, all he can do is stand and watch the man who has stolen the title shot he, Crow and IL had wanted so badly.

 

"Well, somehow, Landon Maddix is in line for the Hardcore Title." Comet sighs in disbelief. "He stayed clear of the cane...stayed clear of the glass...he used the chair once. And now, he's the number one contender to the Hardcore Title. This is like bizarro world."

 

"Landon wrestles, Landon wins. Hardly bizarre Comet. It happens every week!"

 

"We'll see how long it lasts. He won't be able to stand on the outside for eight minutes against the champion will he."

 

"Yeah...and he won't need to either. He's Landon Maddix!"

 

"Whatever. Let's just go to a break..."

[the.weej 0]

SWF Smarkdown returns from it's brief commercial break, and to the backstage area where a distinctly un-busy and solitary looking Benjamin Hardy is sat on an anvil case, watching the world go by whilst drinking a can of Pepsi Max.

 

 

Yes. Pepsi Max. Available wherever drinks are sold.

 

 

All seems to be peaceful around where he is. But of course, that can't last. And sure enough, just as Hardy begins to take another sip out of his can of refreshing, reasonably priced, energy building Pepsi Max...a hand slaps him on the back, causing him to choke on the drink.

 

"Hey, kid..." the voice of the sweating Landon Maddix, fresh off of his match, gasps down towards Hardy, who tries to finish coughing as quickly as possible. "Busy?"

 

"Rushed off my feet." Hardy sputters back.

 

"I need a favour. You know where Alan Clark's locker room is?"

 

"Err...yeah..."

 

Hardy points off down the hallway and prepares to give Maddix some directions, but doesn't get very far.

 

"That's great. Listen...when you've got a moment, do me a favour and run along over there to give Clark an interview."

 

"Err...well...he's not on...on my schedule."

 

"And sitting here drinking soft drinks is? Listen...all I want you to do is get me an answer to my question."

 

 

".....which is?"

 

Maddix sighs, taking the towel from Megan Skye and wiping the sweat from his brow before glaring down at Hardy...who quickly stands up.

 

"Which is? Does no-one listen to me in this friggin' company. I've been challenging Honky Tonk Clark to a match since after Battleground now, and he's ignored me. I've challenged him...what...three, four seperate times. But he's avoiding giving me an answer. And to be honest, I'm getting pretty impatient. So what I want you to do is walk your scrawny ass over to his locker room, and tell him the USJL Triple Crown Champion wants to know when he's going to grow some balls and accept my challenge. Ok?"

 

Sheepishly nodding, Hardy begins to walk off but is halted by Maddix placing his hand on his shoulder. Cautiously he turns around...as Maddix grabs the can of Pepsi Max and guzzles down what Hardy hasn't already consumed, before placing the empty can back in the intrepid reporter's hand and using it to crush the can.

 

"Thanks buddy. Really hits the spot. Come on Megs..."

 

And with that, Maddix and Megan stroll off, leaving Hardy looking at the empty, crushed can in his hands and shaking his head in disappointment.

[the.weej 0]

The time for commercials has ended, and the time for more Smarkdown has come. The fatal four-way has finished, and with a new number one contender to the SWF Hardcore Title, the next match is lined up and ready to go.

 

Suddenly, the opening riff of N.E.R.D.’s “Lapdance” rips through the air inside the General Motors Palace. Multi-colored lights slash around the arena as a lone spotlight stands tall, shining down brightly just in front of the entrance. The vocals drop and Ryan Dustin makes his entrance to a healthy ovation from the crowd, “Lapdance” continuing as Dustin keeps his arms crossed at his chest with his red jacket flapping in the ghostly wind. Posing for a few more beats, Dustin then makes his way to the ring, slapping hands with various fans.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall!” Funyon booms over the vocal stylings of Pharell, “introducing first, hailing from Carson City, Nevada and weighing in at two hundred and twenty-eight pounds, he is THE REAL DEAL…RYAN DUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTIN!”

 

“Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown,” Bobby Riley finally speaks following the announcement, “as we have jumped right into our next bout! And this is one of many matches I am looking forward to tonight, Comet.”

 

“I’m sure you are,” Cyclone Comet assures, “as this match features none other than John Duran, former World Heavyweight Champion.”

 

“Not only that, but I believe that Johnny has found that spark that he lost after losing the title. He’s a man on a mission again, Comet, and he’s determined to get back to the top, starting tonight!”

 

“It has been a rapid fall from the heavens for Citizen Duran, but let’s talk about newcomer Ryan Dustin! Since joining the Federation, Dustin has been fighting hard in the ring and giving one hundred and ten percent to entertain these fans!”

 

As Comet praises Dustin, “The Real Deal” steps up onto the apron and then to the outside of the nearest turnbuckle, climbing up the ropes as camera flashes catch a shot of Ryan, posing once again for the crowd and then nodding his head along with the beat.

 

“It’s only been one match, Comet,” Riley shoots down Comet’s comments. “He hasn’t proven anything to me yet, especially with that atrocious name. ‘The Real Deal’? Give me a break.”

 

Dustin finally climbs to the top turnbuckle, gracefully backflipping into the ring to a rousing cheer from the Vancouver fans, posing one last time before finally backing into the near corner. Ryan takes off his red ‘camo’ jacket, handing it to a ringside attendant as “Lapdance” fades under the buzz of the fans.

 

NO~

NO~

NOTORIOUS~!

 

The boos rapidly come to life, Spineshank’s “Synthetic” slamming out its hard riffs over the speakers as the fans are on their feet with their distaste for the former World Heavyweight Champion. John Duran makes his way through the curtain with a smug, yet determined look on his face. He stands at the entrance, looking out over the mostly Canadian fans and giving a snort of disapproval before shaking his head and making his way down the aisle, getting plenty of middle fingers from especially big fans of the Unnamed leader.

 

“And his opponent, coming down the aisle,” Funyon begins again, “from Champaign, Illinois and weighing two hundred and sixty-eight pounds…he is the NOTORIOUS…JOHN…DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”

 

“Duran may have fallen in the SWF rankings, but his popularity—or lack thereof—has remained very constant,” Comet speaks of the wicked hate that many SWF fans have for Duran as the Notorious One continues to brush middle fingers away from his face.

 

“They’re going to like him even less when he gets that title off Nathaniel Kibagami’s waist!”

 

“I doubt it’ll be so easy, Robert. Kibagami’s worked hard for that belt, and even with Danny Williams scheduled for a rematch tonight, Nathaniel’s going to be working hard to make sure that he does not lose the Heavyweight Title in the same manner that Duran and Williams lost it before him.”

 

Duran steps up onto the apron and moves through the ropes, taking a glance over at his opponent. Dustin, meanwhile, sizes up his opponent by forming his fingers into a “picture frame,” getting a good hard look at the Notorious One.

 

“These two men have very different styles,” Comet acknowledges. “Dustin is a very flashy, yet traditional wrestler, and Duran is no doubt looking for a quick victory over the much smaller ‘Real Deal.’ Certainly it would be an upset if Duran were to fall tonight, but this match might be more even than it appears, Robert!”

 

“Blasphemy, Duran’s moving on up, and Dustin’s head is going to be used as the first step in a short staircase that will take him right back to that title he’s worked amazingly hard for!”

 

Referee Anthony Michael Hall steps out of the corner, taking a look at both men to make sure that they are ready—and indeed, they are. With that, Hall turns to the timekeeper and calls for the bell.

 

DING DING DING!

 

“And we’re off and running with the second match tonight on SWF Lockdown!”

 

After the bell rings, Duran and Dustin begin circling the ring, keeping their eyes on each other as Anthony Michael Hall also has his feet moving, trying to avoid getting between the two men. The circle gets tighter as each moment passes, and Duran finally comes forward, taking a chance by lifting up his right knee in an attempt to stun Dustin with an early strike. Ryan has the knee scouted well, however, dodging the strike and moving behind the Notorious One. The Real Deal then snaps his leg up, catching the former World Champion in the back of the same leg that just attempted to dig itself into the torso of Dustin, taking Duran to one knee. Having been chopped down to a more manageable size, Ryan makes the ‘picture frame’ with his fingers again, focusing and zooming in on the back of the Unnamed leader before he unleashes yet another kick. Ryan’s doc martins slam into the back of John as the Notorious One is noticeably hurt from the blow, bracing himself forward with an open-mouthed look of pain etched onto his face; the crowd is loving it, however, cheering on the newcomer.

 

“Quick start from Ryan Dustin early in the match,” Comet points out, “as it seems he did a little studying on the mechanics of John Duran!”

 

“None of the scouting will make up for the height and weight difference, Comet. Dustin’s a tiny kid compared to the man-sized Duran!”

 

Dustin brings John to his feet, turning Duran around to face him and holding onto the big man’s head, keeping him down to someone his own size as Ryan comes around with a BIG European uppercut, stunning the Champaign native into the ring ropes. Dustin grabs the near arm of the former champion, sending him off the ropes with plenty of momentum. On the rebound, the leaping Real Deal meets him in the center of the ring, extending his legs out and smacking the Notorious One in the face with a crisp dropkick! Duran hits the mat swiftly, and Dustin scrambles on top of him, not bothering to hook the leg as Anthony Michael Hall drops to count

 

ONE!

 

Before Duran kicks out with authority, breaking the pinfall.

 

“Look at Duran,” Riley points into the ring, “that man lifted Ryan Dustin off his shoulders like the Real Deal was a twig! How can you say that this little punk is going to beat John Duran in the middle of that ring?”

 

“Well, Robert, the fact of the matter is that Ryan Dustin is quicker than a hiccup, and he’ll use that speed to run circles around Duran and eventually shut him down completely, most likely with that StarDustin’ Press.”

 

“You keep telling yourself that, I’ll be over here supporting the WINNERS, Comet.”

 

Duran rises quickly to his feet, the adrenaline beginning to pulse through him as he goes after Dustin, but Ryan’s still got the quickness as he hooks one of John’s arms, hitting the ground and sending the Notorious One flying over with the armdrag! The crowd cheers The Real Deal on as Duran once again gets to his feet, coming after Dustin to the same result, another armdrag bringing the much larger Duran down in a hurry. John seems ready to get up for one more go, but he’s been knocked silly from those first two armdrags and doesn’t want to risk another one, backing up into the ropes and catching his breath as the crowd continues to show their approval for Ryan Dustin. Ryan stays on top of the former World Champion, approaching Duran has he’s leaning up against the ropes…

 

…but Dustin gets too close as John suckers him in, bringing his right knee suddenly to the solar plexus of Ryan and doubling him over quickly, the cheers of the fans now quickly turning into contempt for the leader of the Unnamed.

 

“There we go!” Riley finally bursts, “John Duran seems to have control of this match, finally! It’s all downhill for Ryan Dustin from here!”

 

Dustin gets to a vertical base, attempting to hit Duran with a right hand, but the Notorious One blocks it with his stocky left arm, coming around with a right hand of his own as Ryan is staggered from the blow. Dustin gets back to his feet and looks to be going after the big man again, but Duran comes forward again, driving his knee into Ryan’s abdomen as the Real Deal is flipped over onto his back from the force of the blow!

 

“Citizen Duran certainly looks determined in the ring, Robert,” Comet admits.

 

“That proclamation during his drunken stupor on SWF Week In Review is no fluke! Duran is focused on that big prize again, and he wants the belt around his waist, not Nathaniel Kibagami’s!”

 

After taking Dustin for a ride on his knee, Duran turns to face his downed opponent, hitting both knees and wrapping his hands tightly around the windpipe of the Real Deal, blatantly choking him as referee Hall does his best to step in, ordering the Notorious One to break the hold. When Duran disobeys, Hall begins the five count of

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

And John finally breaks the suffocation before the count of five can be reached and Duran risks disqualification.

 

“Duran needs to be careful, Robert,” Comet warns from his announcing position, “this is certainly not a high-profile match and Anthony Michael Hall will not hesitate to call for the disqualification!”

 

“Johnny’s only playing it smart, Comet,” Riley speaks with confidence. “He knows that he has Ryan Dustin in the palm of his hand right now, and he’s just milking that advantage.”

 

The Vancouver fans are quite unhappy with Duran and throw their middle fingers in the air when Duran comes up from the mat with a cocky, self-assured grin on his face. While he gloats to the crowd with a simple facial expression, Dustin attempts to get up on his feet, holding his neck as he tries to get some oxygen back in his body. However, Ryan’s dilemma continues as Duran reaches down, bringing Ryan back to a vertical base, finally. The Real Deal is still dazed from the choking and the various blows he has taken, though, and struggles to keep his footing. The Notorious One shows no mercy, grabbing Ryan’s arm and whipping him viciously into the ropes. Duran doesn’t make a move until Dustin rebounds off the ropes and comes hurdling back to the center of the ring. John then bends down, grasping Ryan and lifting him up over his head with ease, the smaller frame of Dustin no problem for the former World Champion.

 

“Like a toothpick!” Riley screams out another comparison of Dustin’s weight disadvantage.

 

“Duran certainly has the strength, Robert, he is looking promising thus far in what is supposed to be his ‘comeback’ match.”

 

John continues to hold Ryan over his head for an extended period, making sure to show off his strength for all in Vancouver to see…and then releases his grip on Dustin, dropping him behind him and simply taking the weight off his arms. The Real Deal smacks off the mat and catches some rebound from the hard canvas, remaining on his stomach as his contorted face ties into a painful knot from the force of the Gorilla Press. Dustin’s injured body does not remain covered for long, however, as the Notorious One turns him over onto his back and quickly puts on a lateral press, hooking the leg. Anthony Michael Hall drops to the mat, counting

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TW-

 

Before Dustin is able to shoot a shoulder up under the intense weight of the Unnamed leader.

 

“There’s plenty of fight in Ryan Dustin, Robert. I’ve seen this man go toe-to-toe with some heavy hitters in his training, and he WILL hold his own!”

 

“Duran hits harder than those scrubs, Comet! He’ll knock his block off before Ryan even has a chance to kiss his cranium goodbye!”

 

The Notorious One does seem flustered from the spunkiness of the SWF newcomer, but continues his offensive maneuvers, grabbing the back of the Nevadian’s (!) head and methodically bringing him back to his feet. Setting up for yet another knee strike, John brings his left knee forward, aiming the cap right at the breadbasket of the Real Deal, but Dustin blocks the knee, pushing Duran away from him and surprising the former World Champion with a LIGHTNING-QUICK shotei to Duran’s ribs. John is staggered from the quick, sudden blow, moving backwards a few steps. The crowd cheers Dustin along, urging him to continue hypothetically chopping away at the hated wrestler, but Ryan takes some time to showboat first, a highlight reel first and a focused wrestler second.

 

Unfortunately for the Real Deal, his focus might be a little blurred after Duran charges forward, bringing up his right arm and annihilating Dustin with a vicious diving clothesline out of desperation.

 

“Wow! Ryan Dustin is incredibly lucky to still have his neck screwed on after such a WICKED clothesline!” Riley boasts of the extreme strength exerted by the Unnamed member.

 

“Robert, the only thing that’s wrong with Ryan’s head right now is the big ego running through it…”

 

“…and the pain of being rocked by a John Duran clothesline.”

 

“Well, sure.”

 

Ryan appears as if a ton of bricks had just struck him, finding himself on the canvas once again with Duran towering over him ominously. John once again bends over to bring Dustin back to his feet for some more thrashing…but this time Ryan fools the former World Champion, capturing his head and wrapping him up in a small package, rolling over in it and pinning Duran’s shoulders down to an explosion of cheers from the fans! Anthony Michael Hall once again hits the mat for

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

Before Duran gets over the shock of being on the business end of a flash pinfall attempt, kicking out with ease before the count of three.

 

“There’s that speed again,” Comet continues to beat into Riley’s head, “that could have been an easy three count later in the match, hell, Danny Williams has done it to Duran in the past!”

 

“He won’t be fooled twice by the same trick; I can assure you that much, Comet.”

 

Duran scrambles to his feet, but Dustin has already done so, getting brave and going after the bigger man now, clubbing the Notorious One in the back with as much force as he can muster, stunning the Unnamed leader as Ryan backs him up into the ropes, swiftly whipping the man across the ring. Dustin shuffles to the center of the ring as Duran rebounds off the ropes, and Ryan brings his leg up, aiming it right for the gullet of John and connecting with the Done Deal that gets the crowd on their feet with cheers! After pumping the crowd up with some more showboating, Dustin falls to the mat, landing on top of Duran and hooking the leg this time as the referee falls to the mat with Dustin, slamming his hand on the mat for

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Duran once again kicks out, lifting Dustin’s body from him as John attempts to get back to his feet.

 

Hitting the Done Deal, Ryan Dustin decides against going for the pinfall again but instead heads towards the nearest turnbuckles, looking back at the downed Notorious One as the Real Deal begins his ascent to the top.

 

“Citizen Dustin’s is ready to fly,” Comet proclaims.

 

“Come on, Duran, get on your feet and knock this monkey off his stoop!”

 

Duran doesn’t seem to be showing any sign of movement after the devastating Done Deal, however, and John remains prone on the ground as Dustin keeps his back to Duran, apparently setting up for the big finish—the StarDustin’ Press.

 

“This is it, Robert, we could be seeing the end of the match right here if that electrifying StarDustin’ Press hits its mark!”

 

“Come on,” Riley seethes, “don’t let this jobber take you down, Notorious!”

 

With Dustin perched perfectly on the turnbuckle, he appears to be ready to fly…until Duran snaps to his feet and charges Dustin, clubbing him in the back with a double axe-handle as Ryan falls, straddling the turnbuckle HARD.

 

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

The moans of sympathy float through the arena at the Real Deal having some man problems south of the border, but the moans turn into rousing boos, the crowd returning to their hatred of the former World Champion as Duran gives the crowd another cocky smile and then turns his body perpendicular to the vulnerable Dustin.

 

“A smart move from Duran playing opossum,” Comet admits, “but what does he have up his sleeve now?”

 

“I think I’ve got a good idea of what’s coming next, Comet! And you’re going to love it!”

 

Duran easily wraps his arm around the head of Ryan, bending him backwards into an inverted fireman’s carry over the Notorious One’s shoulders, which can only mean one thing for the Real Deal.

 

Time for the Blunt Force Trauma. Dustin has long since recovered from his “nether region” blow, and is struggling against the strength of Duran to release himself from this compromising position. But it’s far too late, and Duran steps to the middle of the ring so all can see what seems to be the eventual demise of Ryan Dustin.

 

“It’s over, baby!” Riley predicts with gusto.

 

Dustin continues to fight inside the inverted fireman’s carry as the crowd’s boos are reaching the point of potential deafness once again, but Duran finally has done enough toying, pushing Ryan’s legs off his shoulders and swinging the Real Deal around, before finally dropping to the mat…

 

BOOM!

 

The impact of Dustin’s head against Duran’s shoulder is amplified by the fact that Duran sits out in the Blunt Force Trauma, putting extra pressure on Ryan’s neck, as he seems to be as limp as Fred Durst around the ladies. Duran pushes Ryan’s body off his shoulders, Dustin hitting his back as Duran lays on top of Dustin, hooking the leg once again as the crowd voices their dislike for Duran. Anthony Michael Hall slides down to the mat, watching the shoulders of Ryan Dustin as he counts

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Hall leaps to his feet and calls for the bell as the boos only get louder over the hard rock of Spineshank’s “Synthetic” blaring over the speakers again.

 

DING DING DING!

 

“Here is your winner, the Notorious…JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”

 

“Well, I have to give it to Citizen Duran here, Robert, I thought it would be close, and it was, but in the end Duran pulled it out with that raw strength of his that cannot be denied.”

 

“I told you all along, Comet! You just have to have faith like I do, it’ll never steer you wrong.”

 

“I was surprised at how clean this match was as well! Not a whole lot of cheating on the part of John Duran. Is this a new side of the Notorious One we’re seeing, perhaps?”

 

“They don’t call him the Notorious John Duran just so he can turn around and be a nice little boy scout, Comet. Perhaps he’s taking a break from some of the more familiar mischief, but when the heat is on, he’ll return back to his old form.”

 

“And when WE return from our commercial breaks,” Comet seamlessly transitions into the hype for the rest of the show, “Johnny Dangerous will defend his SWF Cruiserweight Title against another newcomer in Ace Lezaire! And that’s up next, so stay tuned to Lockdown for more SWF action!”

 

The scene of Dustin still laying on the canvas after the Blunt Force Trauma and Duran retreating up the aisle to the back takes us to yet another commercial break.

 

Fade to black.

[the.weej 0]

“Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown, Citizens,” exclaims Cyclone Comet. “It’s now time for our first of a record-breaking four title matches tonight, the Cruiserweight Title Bout! Our Champion, Johnny Dangerous defends against up-and-comer Ace Lezaire, who will be making his second appearance in an SWF ring here tonight.”

 

“And what a second appearance it will be,” adds Riley. “Just think, Comet, if Ace Lezaire can perform like he did on Lockdown he could be walking away with the Cruiserweight Championship. What other rookie can you think of that was able to capture SWF gold in only two matches? This is history in the making!”

 

“Citizen Cortez won the Tag Team Titles in his first match here,” replies Comet, dripping with sarcasm.

 

“Did I stutter or did your ears just wobble,” snaps Bobby. “I think the latter – I said he would make history by winning gold in his second match, not first!”

 

“It’d be an incredible feat, no doubt about it,” Comet seemingly concedes. “However, if Citizen Lezaire thinks he’s going to win this match with the same kind of underhanded tactics as he did on Lockdown, he is sadly mistaken! He’s facing Johnny Dangerous tonight – the right hand of JUSTICE~, and I highly doubt Operative Dangerous will stand for any of that eye-raking or low blow tomfoolery!”

 

Just then, before we can be plagued with a response from Riley, a single spotlight shines down on the ring, illuminating the impeccably dressed Funyon as he raises the microphone to his lips. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he says. “The following match scheduled for one fall will be contested under cruiserweight rules…and is for the SMARTMARK WRESTLING FEDERATION CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the Challenger…”

 

As the Ring Announcer’s voice trails off, a solid, hard drumming fill kicks up…

 

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

 

Muse’s “Hyper Music” suddenly kicks up, pounding across the arena, and with each strike, a blinding flash strikes the General Motors Place! The song really kicks into gear, and Ace Lezaire strolls out from backstage – Steve, his personal cameraman, following a step behind him.

 

“From Vancouver, BC, Canada,” continues Funyon, “and weighing two hundred and twenty eight pounds… he is… ACE LEEEZAIIIIIIRE!!”

 

The crowd cuts loose with a tremendous pop for their hometown hero, and Ace motions to Steve to make sure he’s capturing every bit of it.

 

“Will you just listen to that crowd,” marvels Riley. “And here I bet you thought the crowd would be in Johnny’s corner tonight! Ace even has his personal Cameraman here to capture this moment for an eternity.”

 

However, Steve apparently waste a little too much precious film on the Canadian fans and Ace grabs the camera, redirecting the focus back on himself. “I’m the star here, not them,” he shouts, audible by Steve’s camera. Ace spins back around and heads down the ramp, carefully guiding and maneuvering himself under, around, and past the row of outstretched hands with a disgusted look on his face like they were the hands of lepers…and not surprisingly the cheers dwindle to a low murmur!

 

“What’s all that about,” questions Comet, rather disgusted. “Here these people are - cheering their hearts out, and Citizen Lazaire can’t even acknowledge them! Did Steve get all that on film; I’m sure they’ll want to remember why they stopped cheering for this little self absorbed cretin of a man!”

 

“Can’t say I blame him, I mean…who knows where their grubby little Canadian hands have been.”

 

Ace slides into the ring and heads straight to the ropes, giving them a good solid bounce or two as his music slowly fades away.

 

“And his opponent,” booms Funyon, just before the lights dim, and a voice picks up on the speakers, whispering a name in a deep, sultry voice…

 

“JOHNNY DANGEROUS~!”

 

“After the Flesh” thunders out across the General Motors Place as the stage begins to fill with the haze of white smoke billowing out from the sides. Dozens of strobes light up the set, partially illuminating the Barracuda as he emerges through the cloud of smoke with the Cruiserweight Title strapped around his waist, and the crowd roars out in delight!

 

“From Las Vegas, Nevada,” continues Funyon, “and weighing in at two hundred and seventeen pounds, he is the reigning SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIOOOOON… JOOOOOHNNY ‘THE BARRACUDA’ DAAAANGEROUUUUUUS!!”

 

Johnny stands at the top of the ramp for a moment, surveying the crowd through his sleek high-tech shades and with a faint smile then snaps his attention towards his opponent in the ring. Ace simply stares back, unperturbed by the Barracuda’s intimidation attempt as he pantomimes a title belt around his waist.

 

“Citizen Lazaire is certainly confident enough,” notes Comet, “a little too over confident in my book. He may have defeated Ryan Dustin on Lockdown, but he’s facing a different kind of opponent here – he’s facing a man on a mission! The Barracuda has made it very clear that he intends on keeping the legacy of his fallen partner, Wildchild, alive with the Cruiserweight Championship, and he isn’t about to just hand it over!”

 

Johnny makes his way down to ringside, while not once taking an eye off of Lezaire then climbs the steel steps and carefully glides across the length of the apron. Stopping about midway, he turns to the fans while unclasping the Cruiserweight title from his waist…and raises it out to the adoring fans-

 

“Watch out, Johnny,” warns Comet, but before the Barracuda even has the chance to register, Ace grabs him by the back of his head and flips Johnny into the ring to a chorus of boos!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Sexton Hardcastle; the official for this match quickly signals for the bell then rushes in to acquire the title belt, and move it out of the ring. Nearby, Ace is on Johnny like white on rice, slamming his foot into any open spot he can find as the Secret Agent panics, scrambling to regain some footing while trying to avoid the shots!

 

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

 

“Bell’s gone,” says Comet, “and this match even starts with some underhanded tactics by Citizen Lezaire – is it too much to ask for a fair match!?”

 

Finally, Johnny gets to his feet, absolutely livid about this Rookie’s actions and total disrespect and he spins around to face Lezaire…

 

WHACK!

 

Turning right into a solid right hand from the Challenger that rocks the Barracuda’s head back and sends him reeling into the ropes as a hand instinctively shoots to his face! Ace chases after him, pulling Johnny’s hand back as he rears his fist back, ready to sock the Barracuda straight in the jaw once more…

 

WHAM!

 

…and Johnny unexpectedly swings his fist out and buries his knuckles deep into the side of Ace’s head, momentarily stunning the Challenger! Ace stumbles a step backwards and Johnny explodes off the ropes, slamming fist after fist after fist into Lezaire and beating him clear across the ring into the opposite ropes! Finally, he grabs Ace by the wrist and steps forward, whipping the Challenger across the ring…

 

NO! Ace digs his feet deep into the canvas and reverses, sending the Barracuda instead across the ring! He charges two steps behind Johnny, looking to land a massive drop kick into the Barracuda the second he comes rocketing back of the ropes, but the Secret Agent quickly leaps to the second rope and SPRINGS~ himself off, rotating himself in midair…

 

WHAAM!!

 

…and slamming a forearm smash into Lezaire’s forehead, flooring him instantly to a thunderous cheer! However, no sooner than he lands, Dangerous rolls back to his feet and charges for the far ropes just as Ace staggers to his feet! Johnny quickly bounces back towards his opponent then jumps up, and LEVELS Lezaire with a monstrous leg lariat!

 

“Whoa,” exclaims Comet, bursting at the seams with excitement. “Johnny just took a page straight out of the Wildchild’s book with that lariat to put the cap on a tremendous series of exchanges there. The Barracuda started this match at a disadvantage and now he has completely flipped the tables and gained full control of this match!”

 

“Please,” spits Riley. “If Johnny thinks he can retain here by copying his old partner he is sadly mistaken! What he’s doing here is leaving himself wide open to make a mistake, and the second he makes that mistake you can bet your bottom dollar that Ace Lezaire will be there to take the full advantage – just like you saw on Lockdown!”

 

“What I saw on lockdown was the most absurd excuse for a fair match that…Oh! Wait! We have a cover!”

 

Sexton drops to his knees just as Comet notices, and begins to count…

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO--NO!! Ace thrusts his shoulder off the canvas a nanosecond before two and rolls to his stomach, pushing off the canvas before Johnny helps him all the way up with a handful of hair, going right back to work on his opponent. He quickly spins Ace around and locks his hands around the Challenger’s waist from behind then hauls him up, and over, and slams Lezaire back-first into the mat with a mighty thud!

 

“And a beautiful suplex by the Cruiserweight Champion,” marvels Comet. “Already the Barracuda is going to work on his seemingly favorite body part – the back.”

 

Once more Johnny pulls Ace up to his feet and spins the Challenger around, locking his hands around Lezaire’s waist from behind! He hauls Ace off the mat and drops backwards, slamming the Challenger back-first into the mat with a suplex, but the Barracuda doesn’t release! He rolls on through, planting Ace’s shoulders to the canvas as he pulls Lezaire’s legs up, bending him at the midsection with a roll up!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

TH-NOO!!! Ace quickly reaches up and grabs the Barracuda by the waist, countering the roll up with another roll up, and pinning Johnny to the mat instead! Hardcastle drops back down to count again, and as he does Ace reaches up and grabs onto the top rope while holding the Barracuda by his belt loop generating a massive boo!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-NOO!! Johnny kicks out just a fraction of a second before three!

 

“That was a close call for the Barracuda there,” says Comet, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead, “almost too close as Citizen Lazaire almost stole one with more use of his underhanded techniques!”

 

“Oh, quit already,” snaps Bobby. “Did you completely miss the portion where Ace used his superior ring skills against the Barracuda to reverse that sloppy attempt at a pin?! Johnny used the same exact move twice in a row, surely he didn’t think it’d give him the match, and surely you didn’t either. Come on, Comet, pull your head out of your cape!”

 

This time Ace is the one left standing as Johnny scrambles to his feet and like the Barracuda before him he helps Johnny to his feet…albeit with a handful of hair! He backs Johnny into the ropes, cocks his arm back and…

 

SMACK!! “WHOOOOOO!”

 

Cuts loose with a searing knife-edged chop, lighting up the Barracuda’s chest! Ace grabs Johnny by the wrist and steps forward, whipping Dangerous across the ring.

 

“If you’ll notice here,” notes Bobby. “Ace learned from his last whipping exchange with Johnny; he isn’t chasing after him this time – further proof of Ace’s abilities to evolve his wrestling skills before our very eyes!”

 

The Barracuda hits the ropes, but before he springs back towards Ace he latches onto the top rope with his arms as Lazaire jumps up looking for a dropkick! The instant Ace lands on his feet, Johnny rushes forward and swings his leg up for ANOTHER leg lariat…

 

WHOOSH!

 

…but Ace ducks down just in time to avoid another blast to his throat!

 

“Nothing but air,” cheers Bobby, as Johnny, simply dumbfounded, spins back around to face his opponent…and Ace rocks his toe into the Barracuda’s ribcage, doubling him over! He latches onto the Secret Agent’s neck, twists around and…

 

WHAAAM!!

 

“STUNNER,” exclaims Bobby, as the Barracuda’s jaw smashes into Lezaire’s shoulder and Johnny is propelled backwards through the air and crashes to the mat in a heap! “It’s the Greatest Ever Finisher in the History of Everything, and the one simple thing that makes this move so great is that you can hit it out of absolutely no where – just like Ace did here!”

 

“NO! WHERE?! HOW?! I can’t believe this,” cries Comet, while the crowd rises up with a hellacious boo. “Johnny can’t fall to this, he simply can’t…he has a legacy to uphold!”

 

“Maybe he should have thought about that before trying to copy all of Wildchild’s moves,” says Riley, quite smugly. “He just flushed the legacy down the crapper his own damn self!”

 

Ace excitedly scrambles over toward Johnny’s carcass and heaves himself on top as Sexton drops down for the count amid a massive wave of heat!

 

 

ONEEE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOO!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-NOOOOOOOOO!!!! To the surprise of every fan in the house, Sexton stops the count just short of three, pointing towards the ropes where Johnny has his foot resting against the bottom!

 

“By Thor’s Hammer,” shouts Comet. “Johnny didn’t have the strength to kick out there, but his heart simply refuses to stop beating! It pushed the Barracuda to do the only thing he could to save the Cruiserweight Championship from falling into the clutches of the villainous Citizen Lazaire!”

 

“How the hell can you make something as simple as sticking your foot on the ropes sound like the second coming of Christ! It don’t take any ‘heart’ to pull that kind of crap off!”

 

Ace rises to his feet absolutely livid! He swoops over Johnny and begins tearing into the Secret Agent like a madman, raining down into the Barracuda with a hail storm of feet!

 

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

 

Hardcastle finally swings into action with a count and reaches all the way to “FOUR” before Lezaire ceases with his stomps! He grabs a lock of Johnny’s jet-black mane and jerks him to his feet before slinging him around…and out of the ring, sailing the Barracuda straight through the middle rope, all the way down into thin thinly-padded concrete floor with a sickening thud!

 

WHUMP!

 

“Look at that total disrespect for the Cruiserweight Champion,” hisses Comet. “This is no way to win a title!”

 

“Oh, contraire, Comet,” replies Bobby. “This is exactly the way to win a title or simply the match for that matter - Ace Lezaire is going for the total physical breakdown approach. Unlike Johnny who tends to focus on one simple body part, Ace here is going to beat the hell out of Johnny till he has nothing left to offer…and at this rate THAT won’t be much longer!”

 

Once more the ref begins a count, only this time it’s the standard cruiserweight twenty-count for Johnny on the outside.

 

“ONEEEE!” he shouts, as Ace rolls out of the ring and strolls right up to Johnny, scraping his carcass off the floor.

 

“TWOOO!”

 

He stands the wobbly Barracuda, who is stunned out of his mind, to his feet then taking note of Johnny’s current condition Ace notions to Steve to zoom in on him as he draws his arm back while shoving the Secret Agent against the ring…

 

“THREEEEE!”

 

SMACK! “WHOOOOO!”

 

…and slashes Johnny’s chest with a knife-edged chop! Dangerous clutches his chest, and slides down to his feet…at least almost.

 

“FOOOOOUR!”

 

Before he droops to far down, Lazaire pulls Johnny back up and leads him toward the steel steps…

 

“FIIIIIIIIVE!”

 

WHACK!

 

…and Ace ferociously slams the Barracuda’s forehead into the steps and the crowd lets out an “OOOOH!” as a massive CLANG~! rings out and Johnny’s head bounces off the steps like a well-aired basketball, sending him staggering back!

 

“SIIIIIIIX!”

 

Ace grabs the Cruiserweight Champion by his neck, finally tossing him under the bottom rope as no title can change hands if he wins this match on a count out. Lezaire rolls into the ring a step behind the battered Secret Agent…

 

“Man,” groans Comet, “Operative Dangerous has gotten himself in a bad way. He inadvertently gave up an opening to Citizen Lazaire, and Ace has completely capitalized with that one simple mistake!”

 

“See, I told you so,” snickers Riley. “Ace may be a rookie by all means, but it doesn’t mean he has to wrestle like one!”

 

Ace quickly rolls Johnny onto his back and drops down for the cover. As expected, Sexton drops to count….

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-NOOO!! The crowd roars their approval as Johnny thrusts his shoulder off the mat, sparing himself the seemingly inevitable for a moment further! Ace stands back up, takes a deep breath to remain calm, then moves to reacquire the Barracuda. He pulls Johnny upright in a seated position then locks his fingers around the Cruiserweight Champions chin and pulls back while digging his knee into Johnny’s spine! Johnny howls in pain; the beating coupled with the strain on his neck being simply unbearable, and Sexton is forced to ask the Barracuda if he yields. Johnny refuses – viciously shaking his head no as much as he possibly can while grunting in agony and flailing his arms, hoping to loosen the Challenger’s grip! Meanwhile the crowds stir up a chant:

 

“JOHN-NY!”

“JOHN-NY!”

“JOHN-NY!”

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“This crowd is really starting to come alive for the Cruiserweight Champion,” notes Comet, “in a rather surprising turn of events, as these fans seemed to be in Citizen’s Lazaire’s corner at the start of this match!”

 

“Yeah, but they wouldn’t know a good competitor if we slapped them in the face with Ace himself,” Bobby says. “Canadians...who needs ‘em!”

 

Ace digs deeper into Johnny’s spine with his knee, trying wholeheartedly to gain a submission on Johnny, but the crowd is undeterred – the chants just grow even louder!

 

“JOHN-NY!”

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“If Johnny wants to be Cruiserweight Champion at the end of the night he’d better wake up and smell the coffee in a hurry,” barks Comet. “He’s tried to take Citizen Lazaire down with some moves he picked up from Wildchild, and it worked wonders for a moment there-”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“And I have to say, Johnny, thank you for reminding us about Wildchild! Every now and then a little nostalgia is just what the doctor ordered-”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“-But the Barracuda needs to unleash his own furry now, it’s the only way to win!”

 

“Yeah,” Bobby concurs. “He needs to let Wildchild go, enough already!”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“You couldn’t be more right, Citizen Robert,” exclaims Comet, much to Riley’s surprise. “Just listen to this crowd – they’re not chanting the name of the Bahama Bomber, they’re chanting for the Barracuda, they are chanting JOHNNY! Right now that is EXACTLY what we need in this ring-”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“-We need Johnny Dangerous, and by Zeus almighty we need him to BE dangerous!”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

SUDDENLY, in a last ditch effort, Johnny reaches from behind, grabbing Lazaire by his neck and flips him overhead to the mat with a lighting quick snapmare!

 

“Wha… Did he hear me,” questions Comet, as Johnny slowly rises to his feet – his breaths are heavy, and he clenches down on his knuckles. Ace, on the other hand…pops back to his feet, sustaining no injury but the one to his ego! He rushes forward…

 

WHACK!!

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

…and Johnny thrusts his open palm into Lazaire’s face, right between the eyes, with a violent Shotei Palmstrike as he cuts loose with a tremendous battle cry!

 

“Yes,” cheers Comet. “THIS is exactly what I was talking about, Robert! That’s the intensity of the Barracuda finally surfacing, and it took a horrendous beating from Citizen Lazaire to float it to the top!”

 

Ace staggers back, momentarily stunned from the blow and the crowd goes simply ballistic as Johnny rushes in and drills two more Shotei’s into Lazaire’s cranium, sending him reeling into the ropes! He hits the ropes and unintentionally bounces back, walking straight into Johnny as the Barracuda pivots on one foot…

 

WHOOSH-CRACK!!

 

Smashing Ace’s skull all to hell with a spinning heel kick that sends the challenger spinning in the opposite direction he came and dropping to his knees… And finally coming to a stop as his chest lands against the middle rope! Johnny races across the ring, hitting the far ropes and comes TEARING back off them, charging back towards Ace like a raging bull…

 

KA-RAAAAAAACK!!

 

…And shatters the Challengers spine as he slams a mighty Yakuza Kick into Lazaire’s back, eliciting a horrid cry of pain from Ace’s lips!

 

“OH! MAH! GAWD!” cries Bobby. “Somebody call security – Johnny has gone stark-raving mad in that ring!”

 

“The H-E-Double hockey sticks he has,” snaps Comet. “This is the Barracuda we are witnessing here in action now, and his bite is simply FEROCIOUS!”

 

Ace grabs tightly to his now throbbing back, cringing as he slumps to the mat in sheer agony! Johnny swoops in and drops in for the cover and Hardcastle makes the count!

 

ONEE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOO!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NOOOOOO!! The crowd lets out a collective groan as Lezaire gets the shoulder up just a hair before three!

 

Johnny jumps to his feet and pulls the Challenger up then slams his knee into Ace’s midsection, doubling him over! He drops under Lazaire, pulling Ace over onto his shoulders with a fireman’s carry then stands up…and jumps up…

 

SLAAAAM!!

 

Impacting the Challenger’s back into the ring with a forward flip, garnering another howl of pain from Ace!

 

“Spinal Explosion,” calls Comet. “Johnny is dusting off a move I haven’t seen in some time, obviously the Barracuda feels he needs every trick in the book to put Citizen Lazaire away!”

 

“He better dig a little deeper,” Riley returns, “cause he’s not going to get anywhere trying to be flashy! Just wait until he mucks up again - Ace is going to flip the tables like Christ on moneychangers!”

 

Johnny releases his arm from Ace’s neck, latching on instead to Lazaire’s leg and holds the Challenger in place for the pin!

 

ONEE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOO!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NOOOOOO!! Again, Ace’s fight is not subdued and he gets the shoulder up, but this time Johnny pulls him to his feet…and pulls him into a front face lock! Finally, he grabs the Challenger’s near arm and drapes it across his shoulder before grabbing Lezaire’s tights and lifting him up in a vertical suplex! He stalls for a moment as the crowd begins to rise with enthusiasm…

 

WHAM!

 

…then Johnny falls backward, slamming Ace back-first into the canvas with a mighty thud!

 

“And a beautiful vertical suplex by the Champion,” exclaims Comet.

 

However, Johnny refuses to end it at that! Having kept Ace snagged into his face lock, Johnny kicks his leg out and whirls it to the side, using the momentum to roll himself over and get back on his feet…and towing the Challenger back to his feet along with him!

 

“Here it comes,” shouts Comet, the roar of the crowd nearly drowning him out. “Johnny’s going for the rolling variation – this is the same thing he used against Alan Clark to win the title in the first place!”

 

Johnny grabs a second helping of Lezaire’s tights, and again, lifts the Challenger up in a vertical suplex! This time, however, there’s no stall included and Johnny quickly thrusts backward…

 

WHAM!

 

… And ferociously slams Ace into the mat to a chorus of cheers!

 

“Oh hell, not again,” cries Bobby, watching as once again Johnny kicks the leg up and whirls to the side. “This is totally uncalled for; Johnny’s not trying to win the match with this…he’s trying to embarrass Ace Lezaire!”

 

Like before, Johnny rolls to his feet pulling Ace Lezaire along with him and lifts the Challenger up once more in a vertical suplex, only this time the Barracuda stalls… and stalls longer… flashbulbs popping in the distance…

 

WHAAAM!!

 

… Then finally arches back with everything he’s got, completely shattering Lezaire’s spine as he drills him back-first into the ring for the third time straight!

 

“What an incredible series of vertical’s by Operative Dangerous,” marvels Comet. “This just goes to show how dangerous and calculating the Barracuda truly is when he utilizes his own skills! Every major offensive blow Johnny has dealt in the last few minutes has specifically targeted Citizen Lazaire’s back and If Ace can get back up after all that he’s going to need a cane to get through the rest of this match with.”

 

“There’s no way in hell Johnny goes home with the title tonight,” fumes Riley, unable to counter anything Comet just said. “GET UP ACE, GET UP!”

 

With the crowd happily counting along, Sexton drops in for the pin…

 

ONEEE!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

 

“SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS,” roars Comet. “Citizen Lazaire kicked out! He kicked out! HOW?!”

 

“That’s what you get for putting all your faith into Johnny Dangerous,” cackles Riley.

 

However, as Ace staggers to his feet, there isn’t much of a resistance he can offer up to fend off the Barracuda as he sweeps in from behind, and takes the Challenger off his feet in a fireman’s carry-

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“MI Slam coming up,” shouts Comet, glaring with excitement. “There’s absolutely no way Citizen Lazaire can crawl away from this one!”

 

But as Johnny starts to pivot on his right leg to put his fallaway slam into motion, Ace shoves off the Barracuda’s back, and slips right through Johnny’s loose grip on him, landing directly behind Dangerous!

 

“He won’t have to – Ace isn’t giving Johnny the opportunity to hit the MI Slam,” returns Riley, beaming from ear-to-ear as the Barracuda spins around to face his foe, and Lezaire hikes the tip of his foot into Johnny’s midsection, looking for a stunner…

 

“NO! HE FOUND YET ANOTHER OPENING, THIS CAN’T BE TRUE!”

 

NO! To a thunderous cheer, Johnny snatches Ace’s foot before it has the chance to connect, and uses the Challenger’s ankle to flip Lazaire over, landing face first into that mat! He drags Ace out to the center of the ring, and steps over his back, straddling the Challenger as he pulls Ace’s leg over his shoulder to a COLOSSAL-SIZED roar of cheers!!

 

“THE BARRACUDA,” exclaims Comet, “This is it, Robert, I can feel it! Johnny has done far to great of damage to Citizen Lazaire’s back for him to hold out through this ruthless crab hold!”

 

“He’ll think of something,” snaps Riley, dripping with hope. “…won’t he?”

 

Pain shoots down Lezaire’s spine like an electric current, causing him to cry out in sheer agony! He reaches out with his hands, hoping to make it to the ropes, but Johnny simply digs his knee into Ace’s neck and jerks his legs back even harder! Alas, the pain is too great and the Challenger has no choice…

 

TAP!

 

 

TAP!

 

 

TAP!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

“He’s done it,” exclaims Comet, as the Vancouver crowd goes completely wild and “After the Flesh” makes its way out for a victory lap. “Johnny Dangerous has once again claimed victory, and in doing so has retained the Cruiserweight Championship. What a match, by Zeus… What a match!”

 

“Son of a bitch,” curses Bobby. “How does Johnny always pull this off, how?!”

 

“Like I said before, he’s living the legacy and so long as he fights like he did tonight on EVERY night this could go on forever!”

 

“Oh no…”

 

Sexton retrieves the Cruiserweight belt then heads back to Johnny, handing the belt back to the Barracuda before grabbing his arm and raising it in victory!

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” bellows Funyon, jumping to his feet, “the winner of this match by submission, and STIIIIIIL the SMARTMARK WRESTLING FEDERATION CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIOOOOOOON…of the WOOOOOOOORLD… JOOOOOOOHN-NY DAAANGEROUUUUS!!!!”

 

Finally, after Hardcastle releases the Barracuda’s arm, Johnny staggers to the side of the ring, holding onto the ropes for a crutch – the exhaustion finally showing through. He grabs the title and…in between very heavy breaths, raises it out in front of him as hundreds of flashbulbs explode…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As we:

FADE OUT.

[the.weej 0]

Backstage, Ben Hardy stands outside of the Wayward Son dressing room, looking for an interview with the surviving member, Alan Clark. After a quick knock on the door, it opens and Alan’s head pops out.

 

“Oh man, what do you want?”

 

“Come on out, Clark. The people want to know…”

 

Alan steps out into the hallway and Ben continues…

 

“Now, Landon Maddix has continuously challenged you, and yet you elude answering him. What gives?”

 

“I don’t listen to what Maddix wants. He’ll get his answer when the Book of Clark tells me that is time for an answer.”

 

Alan pauses and holds the book up for a moment, making sure the camera gets a good view of it.

 

“Do you see this, Landon? This one book holds more in it than any scripture about your beloved Todd. This book is the key to both of our fates. When the time comes for me to answer your challenge, you will know. Until then, sit tight and keep all three of those crowns warm. Soon…they will be coming home with me.”

 

”Strong words from Alan—“ Hardy is suddenly cut off as Clark continues to speak…

 

“The JL Championship resides around your waist in the form of that title belt. I might have left their as a loser, but soon I will return the favor and take back that championship so that it can be with me – a man that brings more to the table than an ego. You may have beaten my former partner, but you are never going to beat me again.” Alan finally finishes and steps back into his room, slamming the door behind him and leaving Ben alone in the hallway.

 

“As I was saying…strong words from Alan Clark there…and later tonight he faces off against Hollywood Boulevard for the tag team titles…one needs to ask if he is actually going to go in there alone with the champions…or if he has an ace up his sleeve!”

 

Ben Hardy is left in the hallway as the scene fades out and goes back to more Smarkdown action.

[the.weej 0]

The cameras scan the crowd as we return to tonight’s edition of SWF Smarkdown, showing the rowdy fans in a rare quiet moment, as we prepare for our next contest. The opening, industrial-like beat of Switchfoot’s “This Is Your Life” comes over the speaker system, and fans throughout the General Motors Place start jeering loudly for the duo about to make their way out.

 

“Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead

 

Yesterday is a promise that you've broken

 

Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes

 

This is your life and today is all you've got now…”

 

As the opening verse to the song is sung, the current SWF World Tag Team Champions, Mike Van Siclen and Todd Cortez, known as Hollywood Boulevard, emerge from the back with Van Siclen encouraging more boos as he taunts the fans from the stage area.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen!” Funyon bellows, “the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the SWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, they are the two time, and current reigning and defending SWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…THE URBAN LEGEND TODD CORTEZ…THE SPECTACLE, MIKE VAN SICLEN…HOLLEEEEWOOD BOULLLLLEVARRRRRRD!”

 

“This should be a cakewalk for them, Comet!” states Bobby Riley.

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“Because, who on Earth is going to want to team with Alan Clark? Just like Aecas last week, Hollywood Boulevard has the odds in their favor, and it may not be long until Clark is joining Coy West on the “gone and forgotten” list.”

 

The champions make it to ringside, and after a brief conversation, Van Siclen slides into the ring and throws his hands up, smirking gleefully. Todd Cortez stays on the outside, performing his pre-match ritual of showing respect to his late brother, as he kisses his cross, and then slides in after his tag team partner. Both members ascend the turnbuckles, and each one unstraps their belt and raises it above their heads, with Van Siclen being more of a showoff about it than the prideful Cortez. Hollywood Boulevard step down from their perches, and hand the belts over to referee Brian Hebner, who holds them up to symbolize that they are on the line tonight.

 

Cortez streches in the corner, while Van Siclen paces the ring, mouthing off at some of the vocal ringside fans, when the sounds of thunder and lightning fill the air in the arena tonight. The familiar guitar chords that kick off “Wanted: Dead Or Alive” begin to play, and the fans pop in expectance of the man about to make his way down the aisle.

 

BOOM~!

 

“Smile!”

 

Just after the explosion of thunder and lightning, the hard beat of “Smile” by Taproot kicks up, and Alan Clark steps through the curtain, raising his arms up rapidly and soaking in the cheers.

 

”One of the more popular member of our roster is here tonight!”

 

“There’s no accounting for taste, Riley.”

 

Clark paces the stage, choosing to wait there for a moment rather than hit the ring. Hollywood Boulevard look on from the ring, as another familiar face steps out behind Clark…

 

“Riley! It’s Edward James!”

 

“WHAT? What in the blue hell is HE doing here?”

 

“He’s headed for the ring, that’s what!”

 

The commentators, the fans, and those watching at home look on as Clark and Eddy J don’t even wait for a Funyon introduction, and dart down the aisle! The boys from the Boulevard attack as soon as they enter the ring, with Cortez pairing off with Clark while MVS attacks Eddy. Both Clark and Eddy get backed into the ropes by their foes, and sent to the other side, but each one reverses! Clark runs at Cortez as he’s bouncing off the ropes, and hits a clothesline that sends him spilling over to the floor! Eddy J catches Van Siclen on the rebound, pressing him high above his head, as the fans pop wildly! Eddy J walks a few steps over to the ropes, and just as Cortez is getting to his feet, he gets wiped out by his own partner, who was hurled out on top of him!

 

“I call bull on this one, Comet! What’s Edward James doing there? It was Coy West who won that battle royal with Clark! This is a conspiracy towards our champions!”

 

Clark and Eddy stand tall in the ring, while the champions collect themselves on the floor. Van Siclen gets to his feet, breathing heavy and conversing with Cortez on the outside. The camera picks up a snippet of Van Siclen’s wordplay…

 

“Clark could do so much better.”

 

And the crowd, hearing this, begins booing the Spectacle like mad! Eddy James can only smirk, as Funyon takes this down time to complete the introductions of the challengers.

 

“…and now, the challengers…first, he hails from Long Beach, California, he is ALANNNN CLARRRRRRK! His tag team partner, from Redwater, British Columbia, Canada…EDWARRRRRRD JAAAAAMESSSSS!”

 

The champs talk strategy for a moment on the outside, with Van Siclen continually badmouthing Edward James and Cortez attempting to shut his partner the hell up. Van Siclen nods his head, and then slides into the ring, while Cortez climbs up onto the apron, looking into the eyes of both his opponents. James and Clark converse briefly, and James enters the ring, Clark stepping out onto the apron to leave Van Siclen and James as the legal men to officially start off this matchup.

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

The crowd pops as Van Siclen eyes James, the significantly larger James keeping an eye on the quicker Van Siclen as he quickly paces the ring, watching James intently and hoping the larger man will make the first move so that he can do what he does best – react. James, however, is not going to be lured into the trap of making the first move in his first match back, and he’s all too comfortable letting Van Siclen dance around the ring like a monkey until he gets bored and tags in Cortez.

 

This is not Van Siclen’s intention, however, and as he realizes that James isn’t budging he steps forward, offering up his arms for a collar-and-elbow tie-up. James, knowing his own power and knowing that he holds a significant advantage, gleefully locks up with the Spectacle, grabbing his arms.

 

“If you’re just tuning in you probably think Van Siclen is downright crazy!” Riley calls. “Offering to tie-up with a man who has four inches and fifty pounds on you is NOT sound strategy!”

 

The two struggle a bit, each trying to gain the upper hand, and finally James does, using his immense power advantage to force Van Siclen into a free turnbuckle. James backs off a little bit, then charges in, looking to pancake Van Siclen against the turnbuckle with an avalanche – but Van Siclen is simply too coy for that, as he turns in the buckle and drives his shoulder into James’ sternum!

 

James stumbles back, and Van Siclen quickly hops up onto the second rope, measuring Eddy J before leaping off, putting his best foot forward and right into Eddy J’s face with a huge missile dropkick! James hits the mat hard, but he gets right back to his feet, seething and looking to take out some of his frustration on Van Siclen!

 

“Van Siclen taking advantage of the rookie in the early going!” Riley calls.

 

“You know, Bobbo, you use too much INNUENDO~ to be straight!”

 

“Shut up, freak.”

 

James stalks Van Siclen, looking to mow him down, but Van Siclen holds his ground, offering up his arms once more for another collar-and-elbow tie-up! James moves in for it, but Van Siclen ducks underneath, going behind James and wrapping him in a rear waistlock! Van Siclen holds James there for a few moments, ducking a couple of wildly thrown elbows thrown by James in an attempt to escape the hold before moving up to a front headlock on the big man!

 

Van Siclen holds James’ head in place, bringing high knees into his face to a round of boos from the crowd! James winces in pain as Van Siclen’s knee cracks against his face once! Twice! Three times! Van Siclen holds James in the headlock some more, grinning smugly as he moves back to a rear waistlock, grabbing James’ inside leg and lifting him up and over with a huge backdrop suplex! Van Siclen quickly gets to his feet, looking down at James with contempt in his eyes and pointing up the ramp.

 

“Just go home, son.”

 

James pushes himself up to his feet rather quickly, shaking off the effects of the suplex. Van Siclen, however, seems to have a deathwish, as he slaps James across the head as he's getting up, and points up the ramp again, ordering him to leave. Instead James reaches up, wrapping both hands around Van Siclen's throat, and tosses him over into the corner, drawing a big pop from the crowd! James follows up with a charge, leveling Van Siclen with a clothesline while he's caught in the corner!

 

James ducks down, reaching through Mike's legs and pulling him up across his shoulders, but Van Siclen slides his way out of the precarious position, and lands behind James, again hooking a rear waistlock. James counters, and when he does, Alan Clark slaps him on the shoulder, blind tagging himself in! Van Siclen counters by elbowing free, but as he turns to face James, he sees him duck down, and Clark enters the ring by springing off the top rope with a bodypress, crashing down onto Van Siclen! Once they hit the mat, Clark grabs a leg to hook, and watches as referee Hebner makes the count!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“TH – TWO!”

 

A deuce is all Clark gets, but he's quick to remain on offense, picking up Van Siclen and sending him into the ropes, catching him as he comes off with a deep arm drag! Van Siclen sits up, but as he does, finds his left arm locked behind his back by Clark. Mike stands up, held in a hammerlock by Clark, and quickly spins around with an elbow, but Clark ducks it, and pulls Mike up and over his head with a Northern Lights Suplex!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“THR – NO!” Kickout by Van Siclen!

 

"Great technical skills showcased here by Alan Clark. This guy came here to win tonight!"

 

"Then why's he teaming with Edward James, Comet?"

 

"Why must you be so cynical?"

 

"It makes things interesting."

 

Clark, probably realizing it's too early in the match to score a pin, pulls Van Siclen up, but Mike reaches up, and pulls Clark to the canvas by the head! Van Siclen bounces off the ropes, hopping over the body of Clark (who has rolled over onto his stomach), and rebounds off a second time, stopping short of a Clark leapfrog and bringing him down onto his knee with an inverted atomic drop! Clark hunches over, and Van Siclen takes him by the hair and leads him into the corner, where he tags in Cortez to a mixture of boos and cheers. Van Siclen holds Clark's arms behind his back, and when Cortez enters, he hits a roundhouse kick to the exposed ribs of Clark before pulling him away from Van Siclen.

 

“Nice teamwork by Hollywood Boulevard there!” Riley calls.

 

Cortez holds Clark by the head, and then nails him with a European uppercut, catching him right on the chin with his forearm. Cortez follows up with a second one, and Clark stumbles backwards a few steps before Cortez grabs him by the wrist. Todd sends Clark back into the corner, then jumps up, planting his feet in Clark's chest and monkey flipping him over...but Clark lands on his feet! Cortez kips up, and when he turns around, sees Clark coming at him!

 

Cortez jumps towards him with an axe kick, but Clark ducks it. He reaches down, lifting Cortez up by both legs, and then slams him down to the canvas with a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER~! ™ Cortez sits up, but as he does Clark bounces off of the ropes and dives low, nailing Cortez in the jaw with a basement dropkick! Clark crawls across Cortez, seizing the opportunity to cover his foe...

 

“ONE!”

 

“TW – ”

 

...but the fresh Cortez quickly shoves Clark off of him before Hebner can even count to two!

 

"Alan Clark is on fire tonight. Even after losing Coy West as his tag team partner, he's kept that will to win!" proclaims Comet.

 

Cortez gets to his feet, and is met with a forearm to the mouth by Clark. Shrugging it off, Cortez responds with one of his own! It's a seesaw battle between the two men, as the fans roar in approval of the duel! Clark gains the upper hand, nailing several forearms in succession and dazing Cortez, but as he goes to Irish whip him, Cortez counters, turning to face Clark and pull him towards him, then dropping Clark down jawfirst onto his shoulder!

 

Clark pulls away, holding his mouth, and turns back around to be hit in the jaw again, this time with a snap superkick from the Urban Legend! Cortez pulls Clark towards his corner and tags in Van Siclen. Cortez pulls Clark back away from the ropes, and quickly takes his legs out from under him with a sweep kick! No sooner does Clark hit the canvas then Van Siclen slingshots himself in, crashing down across Clark's sternum with a senton, popping up to his feet and raising his hands in gloating triumph, relishing in the boos that the crowd gives him!

 

"What a cocky SOB."

 

"That may be so, Comet, but look at what Cortez and Van Siclen are doing. They are working as a team, as a unit. Clark and James are just a slapdash duo. They can't hold a candle to the Boulevard!"

 

Van Siclen pulls Clark to his feet, and leads him by the arm towards his own corner, where James stands stoically. Van Siclen continues to lead Clark around, and holds his hand out, daring James to tag it! James mutters something to Van Siclen, causing the tag champ to shove Clark down and then move in towards him! Van Siclen goes nose to nose with James, who's leaning in, and then slaps the taste out of the big guy's mouth!

 

James is furious on the outside, and he looks to climb into the ring and do some damage of his own, but referee Brian Hebner steps in front of James, preventing him from entering the ring! Eddy’s fury overtakes him, and he tries to shove past the ref, but Hebner somehow holds strong! The two jaw for a while, and as they do Van Siclen tiptoes back over to Clark, lifting his boot high into the air before driving it down into the windpipe of Alan Clark! The crowd ROARS out in boos at the blatant cheap shot, but Van Siclen merely waves off their booing, lifting his boot high into the air once more and mashing Clark’s Adam’s apple into the back of his neck once more!

 

“Van Siclen is taking it to Alan Clark right now!” Riley cries.

 

“Yes, but he’s using DEVIOUS~ methods to do so, Bobbo! That’s JUST-NOT-RIGHT!”

 

“Good Lord, Comet, you sound like William Shatner.”

 

Van Siclen grabs Clark, continuing the Boulevard’s stranglehold on the match as Hebner turns around and Van Siclen quickly knees Clark in the stomach, doubling Alan over even further, and the Spectacle takes advantage, wrapping his arm around Clark’s neck! The crowd boos as Mike grabs the top of Clark’s white pants, using his strength to heave Clark up into vertical suplex position! Van Siclen holds the Trinity of Gimmicks there for a few seconds, showing off his superior strength before falling back, drilling Clark with the stalling suplex!

 

Clark gets to his feet slowly, the effects of the moves thus far slowing down the typically stamina-filled man. Alan grabs the ropes, bouncing off of them and charging at Van Siclen, looking to floor the Spectacle with a lariat – but Van Siclen ducks, and Clark goes flying into the opposite ropes! Quickly formulating a plan as Alan comes back, Van Siclen stretches out his arm and brings it crashing across the sternum of one Alan Clark!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

 

Clark hits the mat like a sack of cement, grabbing his back in pain as Van Siclen grins sadistically, reaching down and pulling Clark to his feet. Mike grabs the Wayward Son by the arm, whipping him into the Hollywood Boulevard turnbuckle and following up, mercy nowhere to be found in his eyes.

 

“Van Siclen is unmercifully continuing the slaughter that he’s led from the beginning!” Riley cries.

 

“Maybe so,” Comet retorts, “but if Citizen Van Siclen can’t win this title AND keep his DIGNITY~, who’s to say he deserves it in the first place!”

 

Van Siclen balls his hands up into fists, looking at Clark’s chest and looking at his right fist… and catching Alan with a HUGE shot to the abdomen! Clark crumples into a standing fetal position, his mouth in a grimace as he slides down the turnbuckle… but Van Siclen grabs him by the hair, lifting him back up into a standing position. The crowd boos as Van Siclen sizes Clark up once more, again looking at Alan’s midsection as he winds up, and catching him with another hard body shot, this time to the kidneys!

 

“WAY – WARD SONS! WAY – WARD SONS!”

 

The crowd’s chanting for Clark to make a comeback masks the cry of pain from Clark, as Alan slides down the turnbuckle once more, his stomach obviously in pain. Mike grins as he grabs Clark by the spiked hair once more, lifting the Wayward Son into a standing position. He pulls back with the right fist, his eyes like rifle sights, locking onto the chin of Clark as he winds up, bringing his fist forward…

 

BUT CLARK DUCKS! VAN SICLEN CATCHES CORTEZ RIGHT IN THE JAW!

 

The crowd erupts in cheers as Cortez goes toppling off the apron and to the unforgiving thin padding below, landing hard! Van Siclen looks down at Cortez, horror in his eyes, but the horror is quickly replaced by pain as Clark springs up, slamming his head into Van Siclen’s midsection and driving every last breath of air out of the Spectacle! The crowd roars as Van Siclen doubles over and hops back a step, clutching his now-tender midsection in pain as Clark follows up, a sublime man on the warpath as he stalks Van Siclen!

 

“Alan Clark is one unhappy individual, and HE’S LOOKING FOR BY GOD JUSTICE!”

 

“Isn’t that convenient. God, I hate you.”

 

Van Siclen stumbles back towards the Wayward Sons corner, eventually finding himself with nowhere to go as he stands in the turnbuckle, begging Clark not to come after him! Clark, however, is not one to be deterred by the begging of a foe, and he inches closer to Van Siclen, who drops to his knees, begging like a spineless bitch for the Apostle to back off, but Clark comes closer…

 

*CHING!*

 

… and right into a swinging uppercut right into the nutsack from Van Siclen! Hebner, focusing on both men’s upper bodies, misses the low blow, and Clark doubles over, stumbling backwards. Van Siclen raises himself to his full height, looking to go after Clark… but he’s grabbed from behind by Eddy J, who wraps one huge arm around his neck and slams him back-first onto the mat! Van Siclen hits hard, clutching his head in pain as Clark stands back up, tagging out to Edward James!

 

“Alan Clark has taken a ghettostomping of a beating so far,” Riley says, “but now we’re going to see how his partner, Edward James, will fare!”

 

James steps into the ring, eager to tussle with the man who taunted him so heavily earlier on, while Van Siclen gets to his feet, warily staring at James. He hasn’t forgotten the earlier encounter, either, with James looking ready to take control of the match before Alan Clark made the blind tag. Now it’s time for round two, and again both men start out staring at each other, neither wanting to make the first move.

 

Van Siclen, however, bites, stepping towards James and offering out his arms for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, and James eagerly accepts, reaching forward – but for a second time Van Siclen ducks underneath, going behind Eddy J and wrapping him up in a rear waistlock! Van Siclen grins, having James right where he wants him – but James has learned from the earlier encounter, and slings his left arm back, driving an elbow into Van Siclen’s jaw!

 

“James is a QUICK LEARNER~, and now he’s playing teacher, taking Mike Van Siclen TO SCHOOL~!”

 

“Gosh, aren’t WE excitable!”

 

Jarred by the maneuver, Van Siclen lets go of the rear waistlock, stumbling back a few feet. James turns around, eyeing Van Siclen with a glimmer of evil as he steps forward, this time being the one to offer up a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Van Siclen accepts, grabbing James and trying to force him back, but James uses the opportunity to show off his brute power, powering Van Siclen back into the turnbuckle!

 

James pins Van Siclen against the turnbuckle for a few moments before backing off, allowing Van Siclen time to regroup before stepping out of the turnbuckle, eager to get one-up on James. Van Siclen charges James, looking to clock the big man with a lariat, but James ducks underneath the arm, sticking up an arm of his own to trap Van Siclen! James stands up to his full height, holding Van Siclen in place before grapevining Mike’s inside leg, powering him back-first to the mat with an STO!

 

“James is absolutely overpowering Van Siclen here!” Comet cries. “And I’m sure Mike is REGRETFUL~ about his earlier cockiness!”

 

“Hey, you said cock,” Riley says flatly. “Why don’t you go choke on one.”

 

James gets to his feet, pumping his fist as the crowd roars, loving the new Wayward Son’s intensity!

 

“WAY – WARD SONS! WAY – WARD SONS!”

 

Van Siclen struggles to one knee, his weakened physical shape showing that he is in dire need of a tag. If he were a face, people would be taking sympathy, but these fans hate him, and as he gets to his feet and turns around to see the huge form of Edward James blocking his path to the Hollywood Boulevard corner, the crowd roars, eagerly anticipating the violence James is sure to dish out!

 

Sure enough, James reaches forward, grabbing Van Siclen from behind and lifting him up into a gutwrench position! The crowd pops as James holds the Spectacle in midair for a few moments, showing off his dazzling strength, before falling backwards, driving Van Siclen headfirst into the mat with a gutwrench brainbuster! Van Siclen grabs his head, falling hard to the mat as James gets up, crawling on top of Van Siclen to make the cover!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

 

“THREEEEEEEE!”

 

“NO!”

 

James’ folly is in taking Van Siclen down too close to the Hollywood Boulevard corner, allowing Todd Cortez to run in and drop an axe-handle on Eddy J’s back! The crowd boos as Cortez exits the ring, and James gets to his feet, grabbing Van Siclen by the hair and lifting him up!

 

“For all of Van Siclen’s prior confidence,” Comet points out, “he’s getting thoroughly SPANKED~ right now!”

 

“Stuff it.”

 

James grabs Van Siclen from the front in another collar-and-elbow tie-up, looking for a move to put away the champion, but Van Siclen coyly whips his right arm away from James’ left, using his free hand to jab a thumb into Eddy J’s eyes! Edward grabs his eyes in pain, and Van Siclen uses the distraction to tag out to Todd Cortez, getting the hell out of the ring!

 

Cortez steps in, looking to take advantage of his partner’s diversionary tactic as he drives a quick knee into James’ gut, doubling the big man over! Cortez slaps on a side headlock, looking for a DDT or something similar, but James grabs onto Cortez’s inside leg, blocking the move! The crowd roars as James drives his shoulder into Cortez’s gut, doubling the Urban Legend over! James grins, standing up to his full height and grabbing Cortez around the waist, lifting him up onto his shoulder and into Canadian Backbreaker position! He turns around, facing the Wayward Sons corner and pointing at Alan Clark as if to say “I won’t let you down, man!”

 

“Van Siclen got out of the ring, but now Cortez is about to fall victim to the Head Rush!” Comet cries.

 

“Wasn’t that the name of a crappy You Don’t Know Jack ripoff?”

 

“I ENJOYED~ that game, citizen!”

 

Van Siclen, still tired from the abuse dished out by James, climbs the turnbuckle, despite huge wavings-of-the-arms and harsh verbal warnings from Brian Hebner! Heaving a sigh of ‘I-don’t-get-ANY-rest’, he leaps off the turnbuckle at James, who is eagerly celebrating to his partner, who tries to warn him but it’s too damn late as Van Siclen plants a missile dropkick into the back of James’ head! James lets go of Cortez, toppling face-first to the mat as Van Siclen falls to the mat, his body in dire need of rest as he lay breathing in the ring, trying to catch his breath once more!

 

“It’s absolute CARNAGE~ in thurr!”

 

“What the hell!? Comet, you’re white!”

 

“I’m not white, I’m SUPERHERO!”

 

“Superhero isn’t a race, douchebag.”

 

Alan Clark climbs over the ropes, looking to get into the action, but this time Brian Hebner does block him, not wanting another fiasco on his hands. Clark is PISSED at this, as he well should be, and he begins jawing with the referee as James and Cortez stumble to their feet, trying to shake the cobwebs out. As James struggles, Cortez shakes Van Siclen, who gets to his feet, a bit dazed himself. Van Siclen grabs James, grabbing him around the neck and putting his head under James’ jaw as the crowd boos, knowing what is to come!

 

Van Siclen leaps into the air, letting himself sit out and jamming James’ jaw into the top of his head with a vicious sitout jawbreaker! As Van Siclen lands, Cortez is prepping, and he lashes out…

 

*CRACK!*

 

…with a huge superkick into James’ jaw!

 

“VARSITY BLUES!” Riley cries.

 

Van Siclen rolls out of the ring from the recoil as James topples to the mat, and Hebner turns away from Clark, not wanting to argue anymore. He turns to see Cortez, covering Edward James!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

 

“THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

 

 

“NO!”

 

Clark charges into the ring, stomping into Cortez’s back! Cortez rolls off of James as a pissed-off Clark begins attacking Cortez, viciously pummeling the Urban Legend with lefts and rights, and Brian Hebner grabs him from behind, pulling the former Apostle off of Todd Cortez. Cortez regroups as Alan struggles against the referee’s hold, obviously not happy with what he perceives as a double standard. Cortez stares at Alan, still struggling, and decides to take matters into his own hands, nimbly hopping over to Clark and catching him…

 

*CRACK!*

 

…with yet another superkick!

 

“IT’S SUPERKICKS FOR EVERYONE!” Riley yells gleefully.

 

Clark hits the mat, Hebner letting go in time for the impact to miss him as Clark falls to the mat, rolling out of the ring and clutching his face. James, meanwhile, has used the fracas to stumble to his feet, and Van Siclen, too, finds himself on his feet on the outside. Seeing James on his feet and not pissed about losing, the Spectacle slides back into the ring, only to get cut off by Brian Hebner! The crowd roars as both man and referee exchange heated words, allowing James time to regroup.

 

Quickly, he charges Cortez, looking for a huge move… but Cortez ducks down, getting a low center of gravity and wrapping his arms around James’ midsection, lifting Eddy J WAAY into the air…

 

 

…and sending him crashing back down to earth with a huge sitout spinebuster! The impact from the Varsity Blues still ringing in his head, the rattling of the brain from the spinebuster is the knockout blow, as Cortez slides forward, folding James up! Van Siclen backs off, stepping out of the ring, and Hebner turns around just in time to make the count!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREEEE!”

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, and STILL the S – W – F TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… HOLL – ee – WOOD BOULEVARD!”

 

The timekeeper hands Hebner both tag belts, as Van Siclen climbs into the ring and hugs Cortez! Hebner hands them the tag belts, which they hold up with pride, celebrating mid-ring as “This Is Your Life” plays, nearly drowned out by the booing crowd!

 

“A hell of an effort from the Wayward Sons,” Comet says, “showing brief flashes of GREAT~ teamwork and some excellent resiliency by Edward James, kicking out of the VARSITY BLUES~ before succumbing!”

 

“Indeed, one must give Eddy J credit, but the Wayward Sons just didn’t gel as well as Hollywood Boulevard, and in the end that cost them. Stay tuned, folks – TOXXIC vs. JANUS, it’s NEXT!”

 

Cortez and Van Siclen holding both belts up is our last image before we…

 

FADE OUT

[the.weej 0]

“Well Citizens, we’ve had fun tonight and we haven’t even got to the best bits yet!” Cyclone Comet yells as Smarkdown returns to the airwaves. “Still to come we have a rematch between Nathaniel Kibagami and Danny Williams for the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE~!, not to mention the second in the ‘Best Of Five’ series between Tom Flesher and Dace Night... but up next the ICTV Title is on the line as ‘The Hell Machine’ Janus takes on the defending champion, ‘The Straight-Edge Sensation’ Toxxic!”

 

“I don’t know how you can sound so eager, Comet,” Bobby Riley says, astonished. “It was only last show that the Hell Machine viciously attacked you!”

 

“This is true, Robert,” Comet agrees gravely. “However even a retired superhero such as myself will not shrink from protecting the innocent, and we must sometimes pay the price for our efforts. I will remind you that Janus lost that match, and I thank JUSTICE~ that he is facing a man nearly as despicable as he is tonight.”

 

Even as Comet finishes talking the lights in the arena dim, and red lights begin to flash, in synch with an ominous, buzzing alarm. As the alarm continues to buzz out, indistinct red letters flash on the Smarktron, and a bell tolls ominously as the words resolve into...

 

[sTATUS: RELEASED!]

 

The chorus of Fear Factory's "Resurrection" echoes out over the arena, accompanied by a pair of spotlights that swing around the crowd as if searching. Blue pyrotechnics fountain from the rampsides, causing a rain of azure to sprinkle down. The Vancouver crowd start to boo, but their opinions mean less than nothing to the man who is about to emerge.

 

Consumed with memories...

That preceded today...

Given a chance to bereave...

Life that's slipping AWAY!

 

Janus comes stalking through the entranceway, trenchcoat flapping behind him. The Hell Machine does not appear to have fully recovered from the vicious match against Crow, but if anything the apparent damage merely makes him look more dangerous. He lifts his arms into the air despite the noise from the crowd, and begins stalking down the ramp. As he goes past each pyrotechnic fountain, they go out.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the SWF Intercontinental-Television Championship!” Funyon booms over the strains of Fear Factory. “Introducing first; the challenger, from Sydney, Australia; he weighs in at 360lbs; he is ‘The Hell Machine’... JAAAAN-USSSSSS!!”

 

Revive all my fears!

Revive wasted tears!

Revive void within!

Revive once again!

 

When he reaches the bottom of the ramp, the Hell Machine discards his trenchcoat, laying it on the steps and rolling into the ring. He rises to his feet with a grim expression, thrusting his arms into the air. Blue fountains of flame explode from the turnbuckles, and the lights come back up as the sound of "Resurrection" fades out. Referee Nick Soapdish tries not to look too nervous as the Hell Machine walks past him, but he is not entirely successful. Janus is a dangerous man.

 

“Well Comet, Janus certainly looks ready,” Riley notes. “Now tell me true - who would you really like to see win this match?”

 

“Personally Robert, I would hope that Toxxic does enough damage to Citizen Janus that Terrence Bailey re-emerges - and then Citizen Bailey drops Toxxic on his head,” Comet replies. “For all Janus’ faults Terrence Bailey has shown himself to be a true defender of JUSTICE~ whereas Toxxic has merely shown himself to be a disrespectful and over-confident rookie.”

 

Abruptly the crunching guitars of Lostprophets’ ‘We Still Kill The Old Way’ ring out across the General Motors Place and the blacked-out Smarktron flashes up the words ‘Prepare To Be Proved Wrong’ in jagged white letters. The shot changes to Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table with the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the-

 

‘GO!’

 

*BOOOM!!*

 

-explosion of red pyro that announces the arrival of the SWF’s premier straight-edger! The Smarktron shows a close-up of Toxxic’s lopsided grin before changing to various shots of his matches - the All-Show Brawl with Insane Luchador, hitting the infamous Glass Jawbreaker on Aecas, dropping Kibagami on his head with the Caffeine Bomb. The smoke starts to clear at the top of the entrance ramp...

 

...and after a few seconds, out staggers Toxxic.

 

“Sweet Zombie Jesus!” Comet gasps at the sight of the Straight-Edge Sensation. Toxxic’s shirt is shredded and his face is covered in cuts, a couple of which are still bleeding. Trailing behind him comes Jet, looking distinctly unhappy and with her boyfriend’s ICTV Title over her shoulder. The girl from Pittsburgh actually tries to pull Toxxic back but the Brit shrugs her off and keep walking down the aisle.

 

“...And his opponent,” Funyon continues after a few seconds’ shocked pause. “Accompanied to the ring by his girlfriend Jet; from Nottingham, England; weighing in at 218lbs, he is the reigning and defending SWF Intercontinental-Television Champion; ‘The Straight-Edge Sensation’... TOXX-IIIC!!”

 

Toxxic stops at the bottom of the ramp and stares up at Janus, who is looking at his opponent with surprise that is quickly turning into malicious glee. Janus beat Toxxic for the ICTV belt before when the straight-edger was fully healthy. Although the stipulation would seem to favour the Brit this time around, Janus knows that the odds have suddenly shifted.

 

Toxxic cracks his neck from side-to-side, and the movement almost throws him off-balance. He takes the ICTV Title from Jet and rolls into the ring, wincing as his back comes into contact with the canvas, then manages to push himself up to his feet and hand it over to Soapdish. The referee attaches the belt to the clasp that hangs down from the roof of the arena, and as the crowd watches it starts to ascend upwards, coming to rest roughly 18 feet above the ring floor.

 

“Robert, we had heard stories of an altercation between Nathaniel Kibagami and Toxxic earlier this evening, but it seems that the truth was far beyond the rumours,” Comet says in astonishment as Toxxic leans against the turnbuckle. “The ICTV champion is in no state to be competing, certainly not against an opponent as vicious as the Hell Machine!”

 

“Comet, David Frickin’ Blazenwing would stand a good chance of getting revenge if he faced Toxxic now,” Riley replies. “I think you’re going to get half your wish at least - the probability of Janus dropping Toxxic on his head seems quite high to me!”

 

Nick Soapdish speaks to Toxxic briefly, trying to ascertain whether the straight-edger really wants this match to take place or if he would prefer to just walk away and lose by default. Toxxic’s expression tells the whole story, and he simply raises the first two black-nailed fingers of his right hand in front of Soapdish’s eyes. Nick shrugs, turns away... and calls for the bell.

 

*DING-DING!!*

 

The ladder is lying outside the ring, but neither man makes an immediate move for it. Toxxic simply slumps against one set of turnbuckles while the Hell Machine observes him closely. After a few seconds Janus starts to move forwards... and then the crowd start chanting.

 

“SIIIIIIII-LENT...”

 

“SIIIIIIII-LENT...”

 

“SIIIIIIII-LENT...”

 

Both men look up sharply. Neither one has any love for the River Dragon, and the crowd knows it. Janus’ fists clench, and he turns back towards the Straight-Edge Sensation. A sadistic smile crosses the big Australian’s face - he may not have a hope of outmanoeuvring Toxxic normally, but tonight he won’t need to. A few quick moves and he’ll be able to climb the ladder at his leisure. Reaching out, the Hell Machine extends one black-glove hand towards the Straight-Edge Sensation’s head.

 

Toxxic sees the huge hand closing in and hastily runs through his options. This is a ladder match. Therefore this is no-DQ. Therefore...

 

*CHING!!*

 

“And Toxxic goes low to start off!” Comet cries as the Brit slams one leg up into Janus’ crotch. The Hell Machine’s eyes bulge as half the crowd boo and the other half cheer - Janus is fun to watch against other heels, but he DID Knucklebomb his own sister last show, not to mention attack Cyclone Comet. Even as the Aussie falls backwards he swipes at Toxxic, but the Straight-Edge Sensation has slipped under the bottom rope to the outside.

 

“That’s beautiful!” Riley tells his broadcast partner. “If he did that a bit more often instead of playing by the rules it might be him defending against Danny Williams tonight instead of Kibagami!”

 

Toxxic grabs the steel ladder on the outside and starts to haul it back towards the ring. If he can just move quick enough he may have a chance at this... but even the effort of lifting it up and pushing it under the bottom rope seems to take a lot out of the Brit, and as he follows it he sees to his dismay that Janus is starting to rise. Picking the ladder up again Toxxic holds it horizontally, waits for the Hell Machine to turn...

 

*WHAM!!*

 

...and drives it full-force into Janus’ ribs! The breath blasts out of the Aussie’s lungs and he staggers back, but with an almighty effort Toxxic brings the end of the ladder up to crack the Hell Machine with a devastating uppercut to the jaw which actually knocks him off his feet! Seeing his chance, Toxxic turns and starts to set the ladder up in the middle of the ring, locking the legs into position as he goes.

 

“Comet, I’m not sure if this is wise on Toxxic’s part,” Riley comments. “He had the upper-hand there, he should have continued to use the ladder as a weapon!”

 

“Normally I’d agree with you Robert,” Comet says, causing viewers around the world to fall off their sofas in amazement, “but it’s obvious that Toxxic is having a difficult time merely handling the ladder. He HAS to try and win this quickly!”

 

The ladder is set. Toxxic looks around at Janus - and sees the Hell Machine starting to get back to his feet. The Brit watches for a second, trying to judge how long it will take Janus to get up, but even as he watches the big Australian reaches a vertical base again. Cursing his luck Toxxic flies at his opponent, desperate to put him down for long enough to climb the laddder-

 

-but Janus simply reaches out and grabs Toxxic around the throat, then hoists him up and PLANTS him down with a chokeslam!

 

Toxxic’s back arches away from the canvas, blood oozing through the rips in his T-shirt and staining the ring in blotches. Dimly the straight-edger is aware of Janus simply stepping over him and moving towards the ladder that has been thoughtfully set up directly below the title belt. Janus isn’t eager to expend any more energy than he needs to - as he sets foot on the first rung he knows that one move has put the Straight-Edge Sensation out of commission.

 

He’s wrong, you know.

 

The crowd start to buzz as Janus cautiously climbs to the second buckle, the 360lber not eager to unbalance the ladder. The Hell Machine assumes that it is in anticipation of him claiming the title (whether the reaction is good or bad is something he couldn’t care less about) but then he feels the ladder sway slightly from the movements of someone else, someone still on the canvas. Nick Soapdish is stood to one side and isn’t moving, so that only leaves-

 

*CHING!!*

 

-the man who just slammed his forearm up between Janus’ legs again, halting the gaint’s progress upwards. The same man who desperately jumps up, wraps both hands around Janus’ face from behind... and pulls him back and down off the ladder with the Underkill.

 

*WWWHHAAAMMM!!*

 

580lbs smashes down onto the canvas, almost toppling the ladder. The impact causes Toxxic’s entire body to scream out in pain, but the Brit is DETERMINED that he is going to walk out of here with his title belt. Scrambling to his feet as quickly as he is able, Toxxic steps over Janus’ body and makes for the ladder-

 

-but is halted by a massive hand clamping around his ankle. Toxxic looks back and sees the red eyes of Janus staring up at him, the prone giant nevertheless stopping his adversary in his tracks. With only moments before the Hell Machine regains his feet and then rips him limb from limb, Toxxic simply raises his other foot-

 

-and smashes it down into Janus’ face.

 

*KERR-RRUNNCCHH!!*

 

The Hell Machine bellows in pain as Toxxic’s boot slams into his nose and cheek, and he involuntarily releases his grip. Free at last, Toxxic forces his battered body to climb the ladder. He makes it up the first rung... the second... the third... the fourth, and the crowd are starting to buzz now.

 

But again, for the wrong reason.

 

The ladder creaks, and Janus steps onto the first rung. Toxxic climbs another step, but it is easy for Janus to reach up and grab the back of his neck. Unable to turn around and fight his pursuer off Toxxic is helpless as Janus climbs another step to make sure, then changes his grip on the Straight-Edge Sensation. In one fluid movement, Janus literally peels Toxxic away from the ladder, swings him so that the straight-edger is head-down over his shoulder...

 

...and sits out.

 

Off the ladder, to the floor.

 

WWHHAAAAMMM!!*

 

“ADF II OFF THE LADDER!” Comet screams as Toxxic’s head is DRIVEN into the canvas by the Hell Machine. “Merciful Zeus, Toxxic could be DEAD!!”

 

There is certainly little sign of life in the British punk as Janus rises to his feet again. He knows now that the title is his. He turns, and starts to climb.

 

Two feet up.

 

Four feet up.

 

Six feet up. The ladder wobbles momentarily, but Janus corrects his balance and continues.

 

Eight feet up. The crowd noise is starting to rise slightly. They still aren’t sure who they WANT to win this match, but barring Janus falling and breaking his neck there is only one possible outcome.

 

Ten feet up. Janus is a long way above the ring now for a man his size, but he takes his time. And standing only two rungs below the top of the ladder, the seven-footer reaches up, takes hold of the ICTV strap... and unclips it.

 

*DING-DING!!*

 

The chorus of Fear Factory’s ‘Resurrection’ rings around the arena as the Hell Machine spreads his arms and ROARS in triumph at the top of the ladder. Once more he has defeated Toxxic for the ICTV Title, and now his star is definitely on the rise.

 

“Well Robert, we have a new ICTV Champion in what might well be record time!” Comet declares as the cameras change focus from the celebrating Janus to the broken and bleeding body of Toxxic at the base of the ladder. “Citizen Toxxic was in no condition to compete and I will admit that he tried his best, but he should have known better than to go up against Janus tonight!”

 

“He would have been fine if it hadn’t been for Nathaniel Kibagami!” Riley complains. “That psychopath is a loose cannon that needs stopping, Comet! Do you realise what he’s done?”

 

“No, but I have a feeling you’re going to tell me,” Comet replies.

 

“He’s broken Toxxic’s gold streak! Toxxic has been a champion of some sort NON-STOP since From The Fire where he defeated Aecas, and now that has been taken away from him by Kibagami!”

 

“I think you’ll find that it was Janus who won the match tonight,” Comet informs his broadcast partner. “Besides, the stories I heard indicated that Toxxic was not exactly blameless in the instigation of the little fracas that happened earlier. Perhaps this will teach him not to disrespect the emissaries of JUSTICE~!”

 

“You’re hopeless,” Riley tells the superhero as Jet checks on her boyfriend. “Thankfully I won’t be listening to you in our next match, because the Flesher Per Minute ratio is about to rise, baby!”

 

FADE OUT

[the.weej 0]

The voice of Alexander Zenon echoes down the hallway. It is the voice of a man put upon unreasonably; a man who in the face of sheer and utter stupidity is doing his best to keep calm and rational. A man who is failing.

 

“What the FUCK do you think you are doing!?” Zenon half-screams at the man standing in front of him. “Janus just dropped you on your fucking HEAD! There is NO WAY you are going back out to the ring!”

 

“You want to stop me, that’s fine,” Toxxic snarls back at the interim Commissioner. “But if you try, I’ll waste your bloody arse, Zenon. Now; MOVE OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!!”

 

Zenon stares back at the British straight-edger in exasperation. Toxxic only fully regained consciousness from his match with Janus five minutes ago. He is swaying slightly, his eyes are vaguely unfocused and dried blood cakes his forehead. The Commissioner suspects that beneath the back of the ripped T-shirt is a similar story. Against all his wishes and all his efforts, Toxxic could not be found prior to the match with Janus, leading Zenon to believe - indeed, hope - that he was seeking medical attention. Not so. Instead Toxxic went out to the ring like the stubborn bastard he is - and got beat. And now he wants to head back into the depths of the General Motors Place, and there can only be one reason for such an action. He wants to find Nathaniel Kibagami, and exact revenge.

 

And even in the state he is, Zenon has the nasty feeling that Toxxic is still capable of doing exactly what he’s threatening to do.

 

Mentally shrugging, Zenon steps aside. Toxxic is no longer the ICTV Champion, therefore he is not as valuable to the company as he was at the beginning of the evening. If he REALLY wants to take his life in his hands, it is no immediate financial concern of Zenon’s. Still bristling, the Straight-Edge Sensation barges past him and disappears around the corner.

 

“Are you SURE you can’t do anything about him?” Alex asks the uniformed man standing next to him.

 

“Technically,” the paramedic replies, “if someone is capable of swearing and shouting at the top of their voice that they don’t need an ambulance, plus are able to fight two of us off when we try and put them IN the ambulance... we tend to believe them.”

 

“Hmm,” Zenon murmurs, staring after the now-absent Brit. He supposes that he should really send someone to warn Nathaniel Kibagami about the madman currently heading for him with a desire to injure him... but then again, something about the whole idea is strangely pleasing to him. And besides, getting between those two seems like a VERY bad idea right now.

 

“I’m sure it’ll all work out,” Alex mutters, walking back towards his office.

[the.weej 0]

The General Motors Place is electric as SWF Smarkdown returns from a commercial for Cheetos featuring “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins (“Holy crap, man, do I have the munchies…”). As always, a handful of blue-and-white rugby shirts is scattered throughout the crowd, but they’re vastly outnumbered by the black Horrorcore shirts supporting Dace Night, not to mention gear bearing the names of Danny Williams and Nathaniel Kibagami.

 

“These fans,” says Cyclone Comet, “are anticipating quite possibly the most exciting two-match combination in recent memory – here, Tom Flesher squares off against Dace Night, and immediately following that, Nathaniel Kibagami defends in Danny Williams’ return match for the SWF World Championship in what will be one of the most explosive matches ever to see the inside of an SWF ring! So, without further ado, let’s go to the ring!”

 

Funyon steps into the ring. He says, “Ladies and gentlemen, the following sub-main event is a submission match, and it is match two in a series to determine the number-one contender to the SWF… WORLD… CHAMPIONSHIP!” He pauses to allow the fans to applaud. “The winner will be the first wrestler to make his opponent submit or lose consciousness in the ring. As such, there will be no disqualifications, and no count-outs. The first competitor, making his way to the ring…”

 

“Hero” by Nightrage kicks up over the speakers, and the fans burst into cheers. The shredding guitar harmonies rock the arena and the beats blast while the ramp lights up with white pyro! The crowd chants, “DACE F’N NIGHT! DACE F’N NIGHT!” as the High Priest of Horrorcore steps out of the curtain and walks through the smoke and pyro to an enormous pop. His “Horrorcore 666” shirt is evident as he steps into the spotlight. He throws the metal horns, extending his index finger and pinkie, and the fans return the gesture.

 

“From Birmingham, England, and weighing in at 252 pounds… he is the High Priest of Horrorcore… he is DACE…”

 

The crowd shouts, “FUCKING!”

 

“NIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!”

 

Dace walks to the ring, then slides in. He climbs the turn buckle, once again throwing the horns. Again, the fans return the gesture. Dace climbs down, and as his music fades, the “DACE F’N NIGHT!” chants continue.

 

“And his opponent…”

 

Immediately, the fans boo as the lights go out. An explosion of blue pyro and smoke lights up the arena, and Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” begins to blare over the speakers! The smoke clears, and Tom Flesher walks out in his blue warm-up suit. Next to him is Allison Onita, dressed for spring in a blue button-down shirt and a matching knee-length skirt. She escorts him through the smoke and they walk forward together, fireworks going off in the background. As Allison escorts Flesher, the fans boo them both loudly. Flesher simply shoos them off with a flick of the wrist, and they enter the ring together. The pair strikes a pose, Flesher holding his chin and smirking, Onita curling up against hiom so close that it’s hard to tell where one stops and the other begins. Dace Night, meanwhile, looks on with disgust. The music fades, and Funyon begins his announcement.

 

“His opponent, accompanied by Allison Onita… from Buffalo, New York, and weighing in at 231 pounds, he is ‘the Superior One,’ TOM FLESHER!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Flesher starts a golf clap for himself, but the crowd responds by an even mix of booing and chanting of “DACE F’N NIGHT!” Looking annoyed, Flesher turns to Allison. She helps him out of his warmup suit and slides out of the ring. Flesher stretches out, and as the two competitors come to the center, the official calls for the bell.

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

 

Dace Night steps confidently to the center of the ring, while Tom Flesher is a bit more reluctant. “Christ,” murmurs Comet. “He’s not going to stall for the first five minutes again, is he?”

 

“You’re only complaining because you don’t understand the tactics,” Riley says.

 

“No, I’m asking because there’s a PepsiMAX machine on the mezzanine. I could get to it and back before the action starts if he’s on pace with last week.”

 

Dace, though, is in no mood for the sort of silliness that opened match one. He steps forward and grabs Flesher by the triceps, yanking him into a collar-and-elbow tieup. He muscles Flesher into the lock… only to stagger backwards, doubling over in pain from a blatant kick to the groin! The crowd showers Flesher with boos as referee Sexton Hardcastle admonishes him. Tom simply shrugs as if to say, “I told you so.”

 

“Not even a minute into the match and already Tom Flesher has engaged in unethical treatment of testicles,” fumes Comet. “He should be ashamed of himself!”

 

“Why? This is a submission match! No disqualifications! Aren’t you paying attention?”

 

As Dace holds his groin, Flesher shoves Hardcastle aside and unloads on the High Priest with an open-handed slap across his face! Dace pops up, caught off-guard by the slap, and Flesher takes the opening to drive into him with a blast double-leg takedown! Dace spills onto his BUTT, and Flesher covers his hips to keep him from escaping. From there, he nails the Brummie Goth in the jaw with a shotei that stuns him, sending him flat to his back. Flesher then flagrantly plants his forearm onto Dace’s neck and leans forward, choking him!

 

“Oh, come on!” Comet protests. “This is just wrong!”

 

Flesher continues choking Night, with the Briton rapidly turning purple. Hardcastle warns Flesher, trying to get him to back away. Flesher just shoos him away, concentrating on trying to squeeze the life out of his opponent. Dace struggles, trying to free himself, but Flesher is relentless in his attack! Finally, with desperation in his eyes, Dace bucks his hips and throws his arms up, managing to push Flesher off for a moment to get a breather! Flesher gets to his knees as Dace rolls away, holding his neck and gasping for breath. Tom stands up, waiting for Night to turn toward him. As soon as he does, Flesher leaps into the air and nails him in the face with a sitdown dropkick! Dace sprawls back, and Flesher gets back to his feet… and golf-claps for himself. The crowd goes absolutely wild booing him!

 

“This disrespect is deafening,” says Bobby Riley. “I can hardly believe they let the fans do this! This is TOM FLESHER in the ring!”

 

“Precisely,” Comet replies. “It’s Tom Flesher, who’s done nothing at all to endear himself to the fans since returning to the SWF after a six-week hiatus. He’s assaulted Ann Onita, left her for dead, stolen Allison from her and done nothing but pout when he loses. Then, his entire offense thus far tonight has consisted of low blows and chokes!”

 

“He JUST dropkicked him, Comet,” Riley sighs. “How can you call yourself credible when you lie to the public like that?”

 

Flesher grabs the staggered Night by the head and pulls him to his feet. He whips the Hardcore Goth to the ropes, and as he rebounds, Flesher steps forward and nails him in the face with a super-stiff palm strike! Dace’s legs collapse underneath him as his head snaps back, and he collapses to the side! Flesher points at Allison Onita and, once again, starts a golf clap for himself! The crowd reaction is the standard chorus of boos until Allison jumps up on the apron and joins in the applause, at which point they turn their venom toward her.

 

“YOU SUCK COCK! YOU SUCK COCK!”

 

“Now why is it necessary to besmirch the good name of Allison Onita, just because the fans don’t like her?” sighs Riley.

 

“Perhaps it’s because she saw fit to betray her sister in such a way that Ann hasn’t been seen since the ladder match at Battleground,” says Comet. “I think that’s reason enough for the vitriol.”

 

“Still, you can’t deny that she’s too cute to stay mad at,” Riley says as Allison gets frustrated and flips off the crowd, then jumps off the apron. Flesher reaches down and grabs Dace by the left arm, then hooks his shoulder. The fans boo again as he lifts Dace up, grapevines a leg and cinches in an abdominal stretch! He takes a step to the side, then reaches out and grabs the top rope! This draws more fire from the fans, but when Sexton Hardcastle orders Flesher to release the rope, he simply shrugs and shoos him away.

 

Flesher leans back, working the abdominal stretch. Night grimaces, but clearly isn’t anywhere near tapping to the hold. Flesher continues pressuring Night, pulling on the top rope to increase the pressure. He begins carefully working his right arm up Dace’s left and gradually loosening the over-the-shoulder hook that anchors the abdominal stretch. Meanwhile, Sexton Hardcastle drops to one knee to check if Dace wants to give up. Dace wriggles, trying to free himself, and finally Flesher releases the shoulder hook entirely! Before Night can escape, though, he slams his right arm down across his face and secures an inverted facelock! Allison cheers and claps as Riley marvels over Flesher’s technical expertise.

 

“What you see there is the standing variation on the stretch plum,” he says. “Tom didn’t get much of a chance to use his wrestling offense last week, because he was letting Dace Night control the pace. Here, though, he’s going to stress Dace’s neck while he fatigues his body.”

 

Flesher’s balance is a little off, though, as he tries to work the stretch plum. Despite his efforts to avoid it, Night is able to reach up with his left arm and hook his head! Dace quickly jerks Tom’s head down and pulls him over his hip, and over Sexton Hardcastle! The referee ducks and covers as Flesher goes over his head with a side headlock. The former World Champion collapses to the mat as Dace Night reaches out and grabs the rope for balance to avoid kayoing Hardcastle! The fans cheer him on as Flesher tries to shake off the blow.

 

“Will you look at that?” marvels Cyclone Comet. “Dace Night not only shows wrestling ability, escaping the stretch plum with a picture-perfect headlock hip throw, but he also takes care to avoid harming the official! What virtue!”

 

“What good’s Hardcastle done for him lately?” Riley scoffs, “If he’s dumb enough to get in that position, he gets whatever’s coming to him.”

 

Dace crouches next to him and threads his arms under Flesher’s hips. Flesher immediately tries to wriggle out, hooking Dace’s arm and sitting out. He stands up, trying to snake his way out of the hold. As he stands up, Night frees him from the reverse waistlock, knowing that he has nothing to gain from the position. As Tom rebalances, though, Night expertly sweeps one leg behind his ankle, taking Flesher’s leg out from under him and sending him back to the mat! Flesher bellies down instinctively, only to take a knee drop to the back!

 

“Dace Night goes for a gutwrench, but Tom Flesher counters out, only to be put back into position and kept there!” says Comet.

 

Dace squats down next to Flesher once again. This time, he locks his hands and stands up powerfully, deadlifting Flesher three feet off the mat without even a grunt! From there, he gutwrenches Flesher head-over-heels and drops to one knee, spiking Flesher with a pendulum backbreaker! The former World Champion cries out in pain, but Night simply sends him in a heap to the mat and rolls him to his stomach. The Hardcore Goth stands up and measures carefully, then drops down onto Flesher for a surgical strike. He slams a knee hard into the small of Flesher’s back, and the Superior One grimaces in pain. Dace plants a hand on each of Flesher’s shoulders and lifts his knee again, then drives it back down into his spine! Flesher’s back arches as he feels the knee being nailed into him, but Night once again nails him with a knee drop! Flesher’s face is a mask of pain as Dace knees him one more time for good measure. Sexton Hardcastle drops to the mat, asking if Flesher wants to submit. The crowd cheers as Flesher holds his back, but he still shakes his head. Sighing, Dace drops one knee next to him and starts to lift him again.

 

“Look at the dominance being shown by young Dace Night!” Comet says. “Though not the ring general Tom Flesher is, Dace has sharpened his skills through his stay in the SWF, and you’d be hard-pressed to find a crisper, more talented athlete than the High Priest of Horrorcore!”

 

“Remember that Tom Flesher is two years younger than Dace,” says Riley, “but he’s had more experience at the top than Azrael, Prince of Darkness over there. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, but Flesher’s 18-inch neck is plenty strong enough to hold it.”

 

Dace stands up again, effortlessly lifting Flesher off the mat. This time, he stands straight up and slams Flesher down onto his spine! The crowd cheers as Dace throws them the horns, and they return the gesture! Then, with the crowd firmly on his side, Night hooks Flesher’s feet and lifts him up to go for the Torture Crab! The fans go wild! Flesher, meanwhile, simply flails his legs, trying desperately to avoid being caught in the deadly submission! He frees one leg and plants it in Dace’s chest, shoving him away and then backward-rolling onto his knees. As Dace advances toward him, Flesher dives forward, nailing Night in the crotch with another palm strike! The fans boo again as Dace doubles over, caught for the second time with an ordinarily-illegal low blow!

 

“Oh, come on!” says Comet. “This is ridiculous!”

 

“If it’s so ridiculous, why is the ref letting it go? Huh?” Riley pauses, and then adds a smug, “That’s what I thought.”

 

Dace is helpless as Flesher grabs him by the wrist and sends him across the ring. With his opponent sprinting into the corner, Flesher charges in behind and nails him with a Yakuza kick! The High Priest of Horrorcore collapses to the mat, and the fans begin to boo. Allison Onita, meanwhile, cheers her man on, and Flesher sits Dace up. From behind, he starts working for a sleeperhold. Horrorcore sees it coming, though, and braces to keep Flesher from locking it up. Flesher pulls Dace’s chin back, trying desperately to hook an arm around his neck to get the submission! Night, though, grabs his wrist and spins out, facing Flesher and avoiding the sleeper entirely! Flesher, though, quickly readjusts and sprawls back, then threads one arm over his head and one behind his shoulder! As he tightens his front headlock, Dace struggles to escape… but to no avail! Flesher pulls him back, then starts throwing stiff knee strikes to stun the Brummie Goth.

 

“This is why Tom Flesher is always at the top of the SWF, no matter who’s holding the World Title,” says Bobby Riley. “No matter what he’s doing, no matter what you want to counter it with, he’s got a plan to counter THAT! Some folks think one, two moves ahead, but Tom Flesher? He’s thinking six moves ahead, minimum. And that’s when he’s drunk.”

 

“Sure enough, Tom Flesher manages to counter Dace Night’s counter to the sleeper,” agrees Comet, “but Dace Night, no slouch himself, is surely able to find a way to implement JUSTICE~! against Flesher’s vile low blows and chokeholds.”

 

Flesher stands up, pulling Dace by the head into a bad position. He cocks his hips forward, forcing Dace’s head down and constricting his air flow. The Hardcore Goth tries to fight his way out, but quickly finds himself hampered by the choking side effect of the headlock. Flesher tries to stay as still as he can, hoping to get Night to pass out. Dace fights frantically, trying to escape not only to avoid giving up the match but also to keep from a possible injury from the loss of blood flow. With one last gasp of air, Night fights and peeks his head out under Flesher’s arm, relieving the pressure of the headlock! From there, he wraps his arms around Flesher’s knees and drives forwards, knocking him off-balance! Then, he stands up, pulling Flesher’s legs off the mat and hooking them in position for the Torture Crab! Immediately, Flesher begins flailing and lunging for the ropes!

 

“Dace Night once again demonstrates his ample wrestling skill,” notes Comet approvingly. “He executes a textbook peek-out counter to the front headlock and then hits a picture-perfect double-leg takedown, taking a bad situation and coming out of it in control.”

 

“You’re just saying that because he hit ONE move,” Riley protests. “He hit a double leg, sure, but it’s not like he’s getting Flesher to tap because of it! Come back and see me when he wins the match. Until then, I’m not buying the hype.”

 

“He DID win match one,” Comet reminds Riley.

 

“Did I ask you about match one? No! So quit bringing it up!”

 

Dace sees Flesher lunging for the ropes and wisely takes several steps back. He keeps backpedaling, dragging Flesher with him, until his back is almost against the opposite ropes. The fans cheer with ever inch, and continue cheering as Night tries to force Flesher into the Torture Crab as far from the ropes as possible!

 

“What was Flesher trying to get to the ropes for anyway?” muses Comet. “Rope breaks don’t mean anything here, of course, as there are no disqualifications and thus no reason or incentive to break a hold when the opponent is in the ropes, aside, of course, from the pervasive honor responsible for the level playing field which we all take for granted.”

 

Nonetheless, Dace begins forcing Flesher over. The Superior One flops like a fish, trying to avoid being turned onto his stomach. Night, already fatigued, sweats as he tries to put Flesher over, and finally, as the crowd bursts into cheers, he gets the former World Champion onto his stomach! He steps back, trying to plant his knee into the back of Flesher’s head to lock the hold on with Flesher as far from the ropes as possible. Before he can, though, Flesher kicks his legs out powerfully, catapulting Dace forwards! Flesher frees himself from the Torture Crab at the last possible second, and as Dace turns around, he rolls away unscathed! The fans boo, but Flesher ignores them as he gets back to his feet! Dace starts in, hoping to hook him in another hold before he can shift the momentum, but the High Priest eats a palm strike for his trouble! He staggers back as Flesher stands up and throws another shotei, stunning Horrorcore again. He grabs Dace by the arm and pivots, whipping him to the ropes. Dace rebounds and eats palm, collapsing to the mat again following a Flesher stepping shotei! This prompts a chorus of boos from the fans, and Flesher takes the moment to lean on the ropes and relax.

 

“Flesher’s taking a breather,” says Riley. “Smart move, really. He’s not going to get much more time to fix his hair.”

 

“Why is he even worried about it? He’s got a gigantic Goth to worry about!”

 

“He’s not sweating the small stuff, Comet. It’s one of the seven habits of highly effective people.”

 

Night starts to get to his feet, and Flesher quickly grabs him by the head. From there, he waits for the Brummie Goth to try to fight his way back to a fully vertical base. As Night lifts Flesher, the Superior One leans back, throwing his legs forward and wrapping them around Night’s waist to secure the Wet Cement submission! The fans boo, and some groan disappointedly as they sense Night’s imminent demise.

 

The Hardcore Goth, though, has other plans! He struggles to keep his consciousness, but he balances himself out and then drops forward! Although Flesher keeps the front headlock on the way down, Dace executes a modified spinebuster that breaks the entangling hold! Flesher lays on the mat, but Dace isn’t able to capitalize!

 

“He nailed his own head to the mat!” cackles Riley. “What the hell kind of technique is that? Didn’t Night think about what he was doing before he did it?”

 

“Dace Night, while strong, doesn’t have the same kind of raw strength as John Duran, who broke out of Wet Cement with a Northern Lights suplex, and in this case Night needed to break out of the hold as quickly as possible. Countering it with a spinebuster bought him a few seconds, allowing him to recover while Flesher does the same.”

 

Flesher, however, is the first man off the mat. He stands up, shaking off the impact of the spinebuster and again grabbing a few seconds to himself. Night gets up, and Flesher once again goes for an Irish whip. Dace, though, has the presence of mind to plant his feet and pivot, sending Flesher to the ropes instead. Flesher rebounds, and Night hoists him off the mat! In one fluid motion, he falls back, slamming Flesher down with a Samoan drop! The fans applaud, as Flesher simply holds his back and ribs and tries to get his wind back.

 

“Dace Night is running on fumes,” says Riley.

 

“He may be,” Comet replies, “but they’re fumes of JUSTICE~! He hit Tom Flesher with that Samoan drop, and Flesher looks as if he may not be able to continue.”

 

Despite Comet’s hopes to the contrary, Flesher does sit up, and despite a grimace of pain, he’s able to continue.

 

“Don’t you ever get tired of being wrong, Comet?”

 

Dace is up first, though, and grabs Flesher. He underhooks his arms and pulls him in, clearly trying to capitalize on Flesher’s stunned state and knock him out with the Defenestration! Flesher, though, is still coherent enough to see the finisher coming. He backs away, and when Night steps in to stay tight to him, Flesher uses the momentum to send his opponent up and over with a back body drop! Night collapses in a heap, leaving Flesher comfortably on his feet.

 

“Dace Night’s getting desperate,” Riley chuckles. “With all that experience everyone’s talking about, he should know better than to go for a move like the Defenestration without completely putting Flesher out first.”

 

“To the contrary, a surprise Good F’N Night put Tom Flesher down for the three-count on our last broadcast,” Comet says. “Should Dace be able to catch Flesher again and record the win, the benefits outweigh the risks he’s taking – an early 2-0 lead is almost insurmountable.”

 

“Sure, but what happens when doing something stupid costs him the match?”

 

Flesher grabs the staggered Night from behind and locks his hands tightly around his waist. He starts lifting, but Dace leans forward, hugging the mat to keep from being hoisted off the canvas. Flesher crouches down, trying to muster more power to pull the 252-pound monster into the air for a German suplex, but before he can, Night tucks his head and rolls forward! As he executes his Granby roll to counter the German, he snags Flesher’s ankle and takes him to the mat as he gets back to his feet! Flesher ends up on his stomach, and before he knows what’s happening, Dace drops an elbow straight into the small of his back! Flesher cries out and Allison covers her face, while the crowd simply cheers!

 

“Dace Night counters Tom Flesher’s deadly German suplex with a Granby roll!” says Cyclone Comet. “Here, he’s showing off the years of amateur skill that weren’t showcased in match one.”

 

“And do you know why they weren’t?” grumbles Riley. “Because Dace Night didn’t want to wrestle Tom Flesher! All he did was stall and throw elbows and stall some more! How can someone like that be a contender for the World Championship? What’s happened to LOGIC in this world?”

 

“That was Citizen Flesher, Robert,” says Comet gently.

 

“I’m afraid you’re mistaken.”

 

Dace, still tired, backs away from Flesher and waits for him to get to his feet. When he does, though, Night is waiting for him with an elbowsmash! He grabs Flesher by the wrist and throws him across the ring into a corner! Then, as Flesher stands there, hazy, Dace sprints in and nails him with a running elbowsmash that scrambles his brains! Flesher collapses to the mat, and immediately, Sexton Hardcastle runs in to check on him. Flesher indicates that he wants to continue, though he clearly isn’t in good shape.

 

“So that’s his plan!” fumes Riley. “He can’t win within the regulations, so he’s just going to try to knock Flesher out to circumvent the rules of the match! What a bastard!”

 

“The rules specifically state that you can win or force your opponent to pass out,” Comet reminds his broadcast partner. “If Dace Night isn’t able to finish with plan A, there’s nothing wrong with him moving to plan B.”

 

“Come on, you’re telling me he only knows one submission hold?!”

 

“Flesher has been outwrestling him, so doubtless it would be foolish to go for another hold with more risk than the Torture Crab. Robert, I thought you knew better.”

 

Tom Flesher starts to pull himself to his feet again, but Dace immediately hits him over the head with another elbowsmash! Flesher drops down to his knees, but the High Priest grabs him by the head and leads him to the center of the ring. There, he hammers Flesher in the back of the head with a third elbow, pulls him into a standing headscissors, and underhooks his arms!

 

“Here it comes!” says Comet. “This Tiger Driver, a variant of Frost’s deadly Early Winter and Taylor Thompson’s Detonator, has been used with great success by champions past and present! Dace Night may quickly join their ranks!”

 

Flesher struggles as Dace holds him in the standing headscissors, trying to get him up for a Tiger Driver! He drops to one knee, trying to stay on the mat, but Dace is just too strong! He lifts Flesher off his knees and gets him an inch off the mat, before the Superior One sandbags again! Some of the fans boo and some cheer Dace on as he summons up his last ounce of strength and lifts Flesher to his feet! Finally, with a scream and a gargantuan effort, he pulls the two-time World Champion into the air and spikes him down onto his back and shoulders from nearly full height – over six feet in the air! Landing with a huge THUD, Flesher uses the momentum to do a backward roll! Drunkenly, he springs back to his feet and absolutely levels the High Priest with a lariat! Dace crumbles to the mat, and Flesher merely flops onto his face as the fans boo.

 

“Dace Night hits a Tiger Driver, but Tom Flesher WILL NOT QUIT!” shills Bobby Riley. “He’s forced Dace Night to change plans by countering out of the Torture Crab, and now that he’s got him on the run, he’s not going to give up! The adrenaline’s going to keep pumping no matter what!”

 

As the two competitors lay on the mat, Sexton Hardcastle is left with no choice but to count.

 

ONE!

 

“What’s he doing?” cries Riley.

 

TWO!

 

“Clearly, the only fair thing to do with both wrestlers unconscious is to count both of them out,” replies Comet.

 

“But it’s a submission match!”

 

“You lose a submission match when you tap out or pass out, Robert.”

 

THREE!

 

“No matter,” Comet continues. “If the match goes down as a draw, Commissioner Zenon will ignore its result and they’ll add another to the series.”

 

FOUR!

 

“Oh, COME ON!” gripes Riley.

 

Luckily for Riley, though, Tom Flesher begins to stir. He starts to push himself off the mat, his arm shaking and his eyes glassy. Dace, meanwhile, begins to breathe less shallowly and more regularly.

 

FIVE!

 

Flesher pushes up, but then collapses back onto his face! Dace Night rolls over, getting ready to get to his feet.

 

SIX!

 

Dace Night pushes up, resting on his knees as Tom Flesher lays on his stomach on the mat.

 

SEVEN!

 

Finally, Dace stands up, to a massive cheer from the crowd! He staggers over to the ropes and rests on them, grabbing a few seconds to breathe while Tom Flesher stays on the mat.

 

“Citizen Night shows his resilience,” says Cyclone Comet, “as the vile, dark Flesher stays barely-conscious, in a heap on the mat! What greater illustration do we have of the dichotomy? The Evil Tom Flesher stays down, while Dace Night stands tall, your paragon of JUSTICE in ACTION~!”

 

“Oh, you ALWAYS have to be right, don’t you?”

 

As Night regains his footing, Flesher begins to get up. He moves slowly, still feeling the effects of the Tiger Driver, and he gingerly holds his back as he pauses. He stays on one knee, shaken. Night comes up from behind, though, and nails him in the back of the head with a diving elbow strike that nearly flattens him out again! Flesher slumps forward, but, trying desperately not to give up the ghost, he forces himself back to his feet! Dace wastes no time, though. He steps in behind him and grabs him by the head! Flesher is caught off-guard and can’t defend as Night lifts him to his feet and, to the roar of the crowd, wraps one arm around Flesher’s neck! He threads the other under Flesher’s left arm, and the fans’ cheers are deafening!

 

“This is what put Flesher down for the count in the last match!” shills Comet. “He won’t be able to get up from it again, this I swear!”

 

“You act like you’ve got a damn thing to do with it,” Riley snaps.

 

As Night starts to lift Flesher, though, the Superior One reaches up with his right arm and grabs the crown of the Hardcore Goth’s head! He presses Night’s chin against his own head and quickly drops to one knee, catching Horrorcore with a jawbreaker that stuns him enough to break his lock! The fans begin to boo as Flesher stays on his knee and pulls Night’s head forward, executing a snapmare to bring him to a seated position in front. Then, with a practiced motion, Flesher slaps on a dragon sleeper as he steps one leg around each side of Night’s body. He steps forward, turning slightly to the left, and adeptly unwinds Night onto his stomach and into the Superior Stretch Beta! The crowd boos loudly as Flesher steps back, sitting into the camel clutch position! He leans back, putting more and more pressure on Night’s neck.

 

“Superior Stretch Beta!” shrieks Riley! “SUPERIOR STRETCH BETA!!!!! Give it up, you limey bastard!”

 

Dace struggles, trying to escape the airtight submission. He grimaces in pain, trying to peel the dragon sleeper off with his free hand. He tries to wriggle free. The fans cheer him on, practically screaming “DACE! DACE! DACE!” as he fights to get out any way he can. Finally, he finds a way to escape.

 

TAP…

 

TAP…

 

TAP!

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

 

The fans boo as Flesher releases the hold. He stands up, smirking, as Allison joins him in the ring. Dace, meanwhile, holds his neck on the mat and rolls away.

 

“The winner of this match, evening the series at one win apiece… ‘the Superior One’ TOM FLESHER!!!!!!!”

 

Flesher’s chest heaves as Sexton Hardcastle and Allison Onita each raise one of his arms. He shakes Hardcastle’s arm off his and uses the hand to trace the outline of a title belt around his waist, and the fans boo him for it.

 

“Tom Flesher showed why he’s the Superior One tonight,” says Riley. “He kept the match at his pace as long as he could, and even after taking a slaughtering from the High Priest of Horrorcore, he countered the Torture Crab and avoided getting knocked out. You tell me, Comet, you tell me exactly why that man shouldn’t be the World Champion!”

 

“Because,” Comet replies calmly, “he lost one to Dace already. That sounds like reason enough to make him fight for it. And fight he will… these two will meet in a hardcore match next time. But coming up is the match we’ve all been waiting for – the return match! Danny Williams! Nathaniel Kibagami! Next!”

[the.weej 0]

The Vancouver crowd is no different from any other SWF crowd at the moment, they are loud, animated, and ready for some action. Never before has free television been this exciting and epic, never before has the outcome of a t.v. main event been as much in doubt as it is important. Judging from the overwhelming feeling of anticipation in the air you would think the fans have been waiting for this match for years, but in actuality it’s only been two weeks since Williams and Kibagami set a new standard for wrestling on television. The only person in the arena who doesn’t seem overzealous about the up coming match is Bobby Riley, who is busy arguing with some poor soul with the unfortunate job of fetching his coffee.

 

Riley: I told you I wanted my coffee black.......with lots of sugar and cream, what’s so hard to understand about that.

 

Comet: Welcome back citizens, your just in time for tonight’s long awaited Main Event between Danny Williams and Kibagami!

 

Suddenly, the Jester’s Dance comes bouncing it’s way out of the loud speakers. The arena erupts into cheers and whistles as the challenger comes strolling out of the locker room.

 

Funyon: The following contest is for the SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger, weighing in at 243 pounds, hailing from Louisville, Kentucky...............DANNY WILLIAMSssssssssssss!!!

 

Williams is a well painted portrait of restrain at the moment, obviously forcing himself to take it slow as he makes his way to the ring side area. Once inside the ring, Williams gets in his corner, quietly awaiting the arrival of his opponent. In a eerie scene, creepy cemetery fog starts to seep out on to the entrance ramp. The haunting sounds of Nevermore increase the mood, creating images of gravestones, ravens, and old scary houses in the minds of the bedazzled onlookers.

 

BAM!

 

Blinding light illuminates the arena, causing everyone in the building to shield their eyes in terror. You would expect god himself to appear after such an entrance, however we’ll be satisfied with the next best thing, Nathaniel Kibagami. The blinding lights die down as the tall figure of the River Dragon steps through the fog like a Cyclopean behemoth unleashed from his blasphemous tomb.

 

Funyon: The following contest is the Main Event of the evening! Introducing first, the number one contender, weighing in at 261 pounds, hailing from Phoenix, Arizona..........NATHANIEL KIBAGAMIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!

 

Ignoring the screaming fans, Kibagami makes his way down the aisle with the most prestigious of the titles wrapped proudly around his waist. Not showing the slightest hint of fear or pre-fight jitters that haunted his promos, the River Dragon slides into the ring and skips to his feet. Scaling the turnbuckles, the intimidating veteran busts out the Jesus pose to a riveting ovation.

 

Riley: As of late the world heavyweight title has been a bit of a whore, jumping in the bed of every young stud in town, wrapping herself around their glistening rock hard abs...

 

Comet: I think what my partner in justice is trying to convey is that the World Title scene has been very chaotic lately. Remember anybody can be a Champion, but not anyone can be “the Man.” Can the River Dragon put his personal troubles aside and be “The Man”, or will he be overran by a no doubt very motivated Danny Williams?

 

Things start to heat up as the start of the match approaches. After making sure that both men are in their corners, Soapdish delays the festivities no longer.

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

Dueling chants of “Williams” and “Silent” bounce back and forth across the arena in a noisy game of sonic ping pong. Stepping out of his corner, a very intense Danny Williams adjusts his elbow pad which will no doubt be worn through by the night’s end. Stone faced, Kibagami does some last minute leg stretches before coming face to face with the threatening challenger. There is no collar elbow tie up, there is no circling, just elbows and kicks!

 

Riley: Wow, I’m getting Deja Vu over here.

 

Comet: Just as before, their trading shots right off the bat!

 

Since his normally potent kicks aren’t getting the job done, the Champion tries his luck with his hands. Spinning 180 degrees, the Slaughter pops off a Rolling Chop! The Spinning Back Chop may have turned the tide in their previous match, but Williams isn’t gonna let that happen again! Ducking under the swift strike, Danny fires a spinning reverse elbow! Showing some good reflexes himself, Kibagami ducks, letting Williams’ elbow fly over his head! Popping back up, the Champion counters with a Rolling Chop! The back of the Slaughter’s hand connects with Danny’s jugular, nearly severing the precious vein! Instantly transformed into a wobbling drunk, Williams staggers backwards into the ropes.

 

Comet: Both men know each other so well now, that it’s going to be quite difficult for them to land their trademark strikes.

 

Riley: At least they are somewhat using their brains instead of just primitively trading shots until somebody falls. God, the main event needs Tom Flesher.

 

The Slaughter shoots Williams off the ropes with an Irish whip, but the challenger hangs on for the reversal. Leaping into the center of the ring, Danny throws up his legs for a picture perfect Dropkick! Not playing along, the River Dragon hangs on to the ropes, letting the challenger unceremoniously flop on his ass. Sprinting towards the ropes, Kibagami bounces back at the rising challenger, throwing up his leg for the...

 

Comet: Yakuza Kick!

 

 

which is caught! Quick to counter, Williams throws down the River Dragon’s leg and bashes his skull with the same reverse elbow he tried to land a couple seconds ago!

 

Crack!

 

The huge elbow spins Kibagami around, allowing Williams to club the back of his head with a big Enzui Lariat!

 

Wham!

 

Kibagami is sent reeling into the ropes, causing him to involuntarily spring back at the challenger who in turn drills him with a beautiful standing Dropkick! Williams’ boots connect stiffly with the River Dragon’s chest, knocking him through the ropes, and out of the ring! Danny’s smoothly stringed together offense receives a brief standing ovation from the impressed fans.

 

Comet: It would seem that citizen Williams has learned the most from their previous counters, using his new found knowledge to put the Champion in peril.

 

Riley: Perhaps the desire to get the belt back has prompted Williams to spend less time in the gym, and more time working the most important muscle of all...his brain. I wander if the lazy bastard has gotten hold of some sort of crazy Russian brain steroids?

 

Almost automatically, Williams jogs to the far side of the ring where he waits for his target to get into position. Knowing what’s on the challenger’s mind, the fans rise out of their chairs with anticipation. Flash photography illuminates the arena as Williams bullets across the ring at his rising victim! To bright to get caught with the Elbow Suicida again, Kibagami leaps out of harm’s way! Like a crafty chess champion, Williams is a step ahead of the Champion. Somersaulting into the ropes, Williams flips out on to the ring apron and takes flight!

 

Craaaack!

 

Williams crashes into the Slaughter, slamming a sledgehammer like forearm into his face!

 

Comet: No matter what the Champion does, he’s still a step behind citizen Williams!

 

Riley: Kibagami getting outwitted by his opponent isn’t exactly ground breaking news. If Nate wants to get back in this match he’s gonna have to do what he does best, break people’s necks.

 

The building is still alive with noise as Williams dusts himself off and hustles to his feet. Acting as if he doesn’t have a second to lose, Danny swiftly positions Kibagami in a standing head scissors. The Champion tries to sandbag, but Williams puts a stop to that by kneeing him in the face. With one mighty heave, Williams flips the Champion up on to his shoulders! Doubling over, Williams slams the River Dragon down with bad intentions! Kibagami hits the thinly padded floor with bone shattering force, creating a thump that can be heard for miles!

 

 

BOOM!

 

The shock of seeing Williams unexpectedly connect with his trademark move so early in the match nearly causes the fans to go into cardiac arrest.

 

Comet: POWERBOOOOOOOOOOOOOMB!

 

Riley: Kibagami was able to avoid the Powerbomb on the floor in their last match, but Danny isn’t gonna be denied tonight.

 

Rolling inside the ring, Williams sets up on knee, no doubt tired from the rapid fire offense he’s unleashed. The crowd isn’t tired though as they are chanting up a storm, endlessly screaming the name of the challenger...

 

“Dan-e! Dan-e! Dan-e!”

 

Nearly paralyzed with pain, the stunned Champion gradually begins to stir. Having caught his breath, Danny steps out on to the apron, looking down at his sprawled opponent. Taking aim, Williams boldly dives off the apron, dropping a hard elbow across the back of Kibagami’s head! Dragging the Champion up by his tights, Williams tosses him back inside where he promptly goes for the cover. Pumped up, the fans count along with Soapdish!

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.........................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kibagami wearily kicks out before Soapdish can drop his hand for the fatal three!

 

Comet: Citizen Nathaniel was just milliseconds away from losing the Title he fought so hard to win!

 

Riley: Williams wasted too much time, if he would have gotten Kibagami in the ring a little sooner the match would have already been over with.

 

The now free River Dragon attempts to slither out of the ring, but Williams catches him by his tights and drags him to his feet. Stuffing Kibagami’s head between his legs, Williams traps the Champion in the dreaded standing head scissors.

 

Comet: He’s going for another Powerbomb!

 

Riley: I haven’t seen Williams this aggressive in ages, he’s throwing everything but the kitchen sink at the Champion, and were not even 5 minutes into the match!

 

Wrapping his powerful arms around the River Dragon’s waist, Williams squats down for the lift. Not giving the challenger the opportunity to get him up, Kibagami frantically side steps his way into the ropes.

 

“Break!”, commands the official.

 

A tad bit frustrated, Williams jerks Kibagami up and lets him have it!

 

Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!

 

Five terribly mean spirited elbow smashes leave the Champion teetering against the ropes. Snatching Kibs by the wrist, Williams slings him off the ropes for an Irish whip, but the Champion only manages a couple of steps before dramatically collapsing in the center of the ring.

 

Comet: The Champion is in serious trouble!

 

Leaning into the ropes, Williams pats his forearm, letting everyone in attendance know his master plan. Like a tiger ready to pounce, Williams crouches down and charges up, channeling all his power into what will no doubt be the match winning strike. After letting Kibagami stumble to his feet, Williams explodes off the ropes with a fearsome battle cry, twirling at the dazed Champion for the Rolling Elbow!

 

Wham!

 

But Kibagami gets his foot up, stopping Williams dead in his tracks with a nasty Big Boot! Danny is momentarily rocked but he somehow regains his composure, and drops back into the ropes. Once again, Williams speeds forward at his prey...

 

Blam!

 

running face first into a lighting quick Gamengiri! Both men are down, and the fans are going wild.

 

Comet: Never count out Kibagami! Drawing strength from unknown regions, the Champion held his ground and fended off an assault that would have most likely ended his night had it been successful!

 

Riley: Williams was done in by his own determination there, if he would have been a little more patient he could have easily avoided that foolish mistake.

 

Soapdish starts the ten count, and the fans start to get a little restless. Showing no signs of quieting down, the crowd begins a boisterous “Siiilent!” chant. Raising his head, Kibagami looks around the arena, surprised to see that the fans still believe in him. Discovering that Williams is still down on his back, the Champion crawls on top of him, hooking a leg for the pin. Still hot from the wild opening, the crowd energetically counts along.

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Williams kicks out with gusto, though it’s obvious that wouldn’t have been the case had Kibagami covered him a little quicker. Sore and stiff from the Powerbomb on the floor, the Champion grimaces as he climbs to his feet. Grabbing Danny by the hair, the River Dragon guides the challenger to his feet.

 

Smack! Smack! Smack!

 

Kibagami lays three razor sharp knife edge chops into Danny’s chest, backing him into the ropes. With a cry of effort, the River Dragon whips Williams off the ropes, sending him for the ride. Drawing back his meaty arm, the Slaughter swings at Williams as he rebounds back!

 

Comet: Burning Lariat!

 

Thinking fast, Danny ducks under the big clothesline that nearly put him away two weeks ago, hitting the ropes a second time! Increasing his speed ten fold, Williams leaps head first at the turning Champion, aiming to knock his block off with the Flying Forearm! Side stepping the diving challenger, Kibagami grabs Williams by the head, and spikes him face first into the unforgiven canvas!

 

Splat!

 

Badly hurt, Williams grabs his face and rolls out of the ring in a blur. Having more confidence as of late, the Champion lumbers across the ring, diving through the ropes without hesitation! The River Dragon somehow threads the needle, crashing into the rising challenger with a clumsy but still effective Tope!

 

“Siiiiiiiiiilent! Siiiiiiiilent! Siiiiiiiiilent!”

 

Somehow escaping the high risk maneuver unharmed, Kibagami slides into the ring where he is greeted with a rousing round of applause.

 

Comet: What courage from the Champion! Citizen Nathaniel put everything on the line in his quest to win the title, and know he’s putting it all the line to keep the title.

 

Riley: That’s not a good idea if you ask me. A Champion has no business taking un-needed high risks like that, since they don’t have to beat anybody.

 

Wiping some sweat off his brow, Kibagami stand tall in the center of the ring, daring Williams to come back in for some more. Panting hard, Williams leans against the guardrail, struggling to regain the air that Kibagami knocked out of him. Knowing that he doesn’t have much time left, Williams climbs up on to the ring apron....

 

Wham!

 

only to get blasted off by a Yakuza Kick! Williams free falls into the guardrail, and slides down to the floor. The fans turn on Kibagami almost instantaneously, and a gargantuan “Let’s go Danny!” chant breaks out.

 

Riley: The idiot fans may not like it, but this is how Kibagami should be wrestling. He has what Williams wants, so all he has to do is defend the fort and hold him at bay.

 

Comet: Ah yes, the “defend the high ground” strategy. Dig in deep, and force the opposition to expend their energy trying to get you.

 

Collecting his wits, Williams stands up with a pained expression on his face. Finding himself in another race against the clock, Danny hops up on to the ring apron and climbs inside. Staying on top of Williams, Kibagami welcomes the challenger with a hard knee to the gut. Grabbing him by his hair and tights, the Champion runs Williams across the ring and dominantly tosses him to the outside like he’s garbage. But to Kibagami’s surprise, Williams comes storming right back inside!

 

Riley: And here he comes again!

 

Comet: What valiant determination from the challenger!

 

Not letting Danny get to his feet, the Champion holds his head down and flicks some discouraging kicks into his face. Refusing to be held down any longer, Danny rises back up, and turns the tables on Kibs by yanking him down by his hair. Running in place, Williams repeatedly slams his knee into the side of the Slaughter’s head! But to Williams’ shock, the Champion pops back up and looks him square in the eye. The heated stare down prompts the overzealous fans to raise the roof like never before.

 

Comet: Neither man is backing down, not since Williams/TNT have I seen such a grueling battle of wills!

 

Unable to repress his emotions any longer, Williams elbows Kibagami as hard as he can! Absorbing the monestrous shot, the River Dragon returns fire with a blistering chop! Williams nearly goes down, but he regains his footing and fires an elbow! Angered by the challenger’s defiance, Kibagami lashes out with a nightmarishly stiff chop!

 

Smaaack!

 

The vicious chop busts the blood vessels in Danny’s chest, but that’s still not enough to put him down. Coming back with a vengeance an infuriated Danny Williams backs the Champion into the ropes with a flurry of elbows! Annoyed, Kibagami scoops Williams up and plants him with a body slam! Letting Williams roll over on his side, the Slaughter draws back his boot and ruthlessly slams it into the challenger’s back!

 

Thwaaack!

 

Screaming in pain, a tense trembling Danny Williams defiantly stands back up. Snarling with frustration, the Champion promptly sends Williams back to the canvas with another body slam, followed by three more uber stiff Cowboy Kicks!

 

Thwaaack! Thwaaack! Thwaaaaaack!

 

The sound of leather tanning flesh echoes through the arena, sending shivers down the spines of those in attendance. Finally, Williams stays down. Letting out a sigh of relief, Kibagami rests against the ropes, struggling to regain his breath.

 

Comet: And the Champion heroically fends off another Danny Williams’ run.

 

Riley: Just barely, this the second time tonight that Kibagami came extremely close to letting Williams run right over him.

 

Forcefully sitting Williams up for some more punishment, Kibagami steps beside him, leans down and hammers his bruised chest with a stiff chop! Not stopping there, the River Dragon sadistically follows the chop with a Cowboy Kick to Williams’ already reddened back! Hustling at a draining pace, Kibagami repeats the gruesome combo two more times!

 

Smack! Thwack! Smack! Thwack!

 

Tenderized like a steak, Williams drops back to the canvas, allowing the Slaughter to go for the cover.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Again, Williams kicks out from underneath his captor. A bit perplexed, the Champion snatches a handful of Danny’s hair and forces him to his feet. Stuffing his head down into an inverted facelock, the River Dragon drops back to the canvas, spiking the challenger with the Inverted DDT! Maintaining the facelock, Kibagami wraps his long powerful legs around Williams’ body, trapping him in a Doushime Dragon Sleeper!

 

Riley: It looks the Champion is gonna finally slow this thing down, which plays heavily into his favor.

 

Comet: He’s trying to bleed away Williams’ energy, which as we’ve seen has been extremely crucial to his relentless assault on the Champion.

 

Williams wildly thrashes about, frantically attempting to wiggle his way to freedom. Shaking his head up and down, the Slaughter works the hold like a mad man, draining the challenger of his precious strength.

 

“Dan-e! Dan-e! Dan-e!”

 

As the chant continues to swell, Williams begins his epic journey to the promise land. Moving ever so slowly, Danny sluggishly rolls his way to the salvation of the ropes. Showing respect for the rules, the Champion hastily releases Williams before the official can even call for the break . Drowsy and drained, a weary Williams tries in vain to crawl to his feet. Taunting the sleepy challenger, Kibagami playfully flicks his boot in his face, demanding that Williams stand up faster. Not letting the Champion get away with even the faintest hint of arrogance, the fans lower their thumbs and loudly boo.

 

Riley: For once I agree with these retards, Danny Williams is not an opponent you can play around with, especially when he’s spent most of the match kicking your ass.

 

Comet: I actually believe that Kibagami is testing Williams out with those little kicks, making sure that he’s totally out of it before he risks something big.

 

Helping Danny to a vertical base, the River Dragon pushes him into a nearby corner. Stepping up on the second rope, the Slaughter slams a roundhouse kick into Danny’s face! Repulsed, the fans let out a collective “oh”. Grabbing his mouth, the challenger slides to the floor in a state of delirium.

 

Riley: Now that’s how you make sure someone’s totally out of it.

 

Swiping his hands out to his sides, the Champion lets the fans know that Williams is finished. Grabbing the pitiful challenger by his hair, Kibagami drags him to the center of the ring where he calmly stuffs him into position for a Powerbomb.

 

Comet: Kibagami, setting Williams up for what appears to be the FALL FROM GRACE!

 

Wrapping his long arms around Danny’s bulging waist, Kibagami squats and lifts! Kicking and screaming, Danny breaks the waistlock before the Champion can get flip him over his shoulders. Williams lands right in front of Kibs, who takes a few steps back and.....

 

 

Blaaaam!

 

levels the challenger with the Burning Lariat! The uber stiff clothesline sends Williams spiraling high into the air like a twirling basketball!

 

Riley: It looks like Kibagami may not even need to hit the Fall from Grace now.

 

Comet: The Lariat has always been Danny Williams’ Achilles’ heel, if you recall TNT, Frost, and Va’aiga have all used Lariats to score victories over him in major matches.

 

Hurrying back over to Danny, Kibagami drags him back up into the head scissors. With relative ease, the Champion wrenches all 245 pounds of the challenger over his shoulder! As he’s sent hurling behind the River Dragon, Williams smartly hooks his left arm around his attacker’s head, sending him to the canvas with a super crunchy Neckbreaker Drop! Williams keeps his arm draped over Kibagami’s chest, prompting Soapdish to nervously slide to the mat and start the count.

 

Comet: HE COUNTERED IT! DANNY COUNTERED THE FALL FROM THE GRACE, THIS COULD BE IT!

 

Jumping out of their chairs with surprise, the fans enthusiastically count along!

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..................

 

 

 

 

Kibagami rolls over on his side, easily brushing Williams’ arm off of him. Disappointed that a new champion wasn’t crowned, the fans hurry back to their chairs.

 

Riley: I think my suspicion of Williams’ using brain steroids has been confirmed, because there’s no way that gorilla thought of that reversal on his own.

 

Having absorbed far to much punishment to step into the driver seat of the match, Williams rolls out on to the ring apron, hoping to buy himself some extra recovery time. Holding the back of his neck, the River Dragon climbs to his feet with a grunt. Scanning the ring, Kibagami finds his prey agonizing on the ring apron. Reaching over the ropes, the Slaughter positions Danny for a Vertical Suplex. Without much of a struggle, Kibagami hoists Williams over the top rope, bringing him into the ring. Suddenly, Williams slips out of the River Dragon’s clutches, floating behind him. Danny automatically cranks on a Sleeperhold, bringing the crowd back to life(never thought you’d here that eh?).

 

Comet: Is it bed time for the Champion!?

 

Quickly dropping to one knee, Kibagami slings Williams over his shoulder with a swank armdrag!

 

Riley: It looks like staying up all night watching tapes finally paid off for Kibs.

 

Rolling to his feet, Williams rushes the Champion, swinging a hard forearm in his direction! The tall Champion somehow ducks under Williams, ending up back to back with him. Grabbing Williams under his arm pits, the inhumanly strong River Dragon extends his arms, suspending the challenger high over his head in the Crucifix position! Terrified, a wide eyed Danny Williams shakes his head from side to side, screaming, “Noooo!” at the top of his lungs. Deaf to the pleas of the challenger, Kibagami drops forward, driving Danny into the mat at a gruesome high angle!

 

Crunch!

 

Williams folds up like an accordion, and all the Champion has to do is lean over his remains for the pin.

 

Comet: FALL FROM GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!

 

It’s total bedlam as Soapdish starts the count.

 

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THRE-oooooh!”, howls the amazed fans as Williams somehow kicks out! The pop for the kick out doesn’t quite reach the same volcanic levels as it did two weeks ago, but to say that it’s deafening would be a huge understatement!

 

Comet: There is no quit in Danny Williams!

 

Riley: It wasn’t enough to beat Williams two weeks ago, so it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that it’s not enough this time.

 

Looking rather gloomy, Kibagami sits up on his knees. Like Riley said, it’s not surprising that the Fall from Grace didn’t get the job done. Deep down, the World Champion knows that there’s only one way this match can end. He’s been trying to avoid it, trying not to think about, but he cannot deny the truth any more. Rising to his feet, Kibagami points to the top turnbuckle. The mere raise of a finger causes all hell to break lose in the General Motor’s Place. Thousands of screaming Canadians come to their feet, anxious to see the legendary move reserved for special night’s like this.

 

Comet: HOLY CRUSTY UNDERWEAR, HE’S GOING FOR THE YEAR OF THE DRAGON!!!

 

Riley: This is madness, absolutely madness! There’s no way he can pull off two miracles in as many weeks!

 

Comet: This is the SWF where anything is possible!

 

Scooping Williams up, Kibagami tucks the challenger’s head between his knees and plants him into the canvas with his brother’s unholy invention, the Riot of Blood! Now that he has Williams in place, Kibagami has to get himself in position. The Champion hesitates, pondering the worth of the title and how much it means to him. Is it really worth the risk? Fuck it, you only live once. Kibagami’s middle aged knees creak as he ascends the turnbuckles, making his way to the top rope one shaky step at a time. The fans are awe struck, finding themselves in a trance like state of wonder. After what seems like hours, Kibagami reaches his final destination.

 

Comet: So it all comes down to this, it’s do or die for Kibagami! Does the aging warrior have one final “Year of the Dragon” in him?!

 

The Champion takes one last look at the screaming fans, and does what he’s been doing since he won the title....savoring the moment. Closing his eyes, Kibagami bravely back flips off the turnbuckles!

 

 

In a split second all self doubt is eliminated, and instinct takes over! Getting the huge air he needs, the 6'5" monster gracefully somersaults in mid air like few cruiser weights can, successfully performing all the necessary twists and turns the complex move requires!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time slows down as Kibagami free falls closer and closer to Danny Williams, who is still laid out exactly where he needs to be....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Champion extends his limbs for the lateral press, bracing himself for impact....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BOOM!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The River Dragon’s flight comes to an end, he hits his mark......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but nobodies home! Kibagami wipes out, his 32 year old body splattering across the canvas like a raw egg!

 

Comet: WILLIAMS ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY!

 

Riley: I knew it. Now what was it I said earlier about how Champions shouldn’t take big risks.

 

In a scene that is all too familiar to this Canadian crowd, both men are down and in anguish. Soapdish starts the count, and it looks like the night might end with a double k.o. Determined not to let such a hard fought match end with such an indecisive finish, the crowd raises some hell. Stomping their feet and chanting, each of the fans cheer for their favorite. And so it ends how it began with the crowd totally split.

 

“Dan-e!” “Siiilent!” “Dan-e!” “Siiiilent!”

 

With every passing second, the crowd get’s louder and louder. Obviously nervous, Soapdish shudders as he draws closer to the dreaded number. Miraculously, both men began to stir. Revived by their legions of screeching fans, Williams and Kibagami gradually stagger to their feet like the living dead. Doubled over from exhaustion and pain, the two battle worn warriors stare holes through each other. The proverbial cacti blows by in the breeze, it’s high noon and the town isn’t big enough for the both of em. No longer chanting, the fans simply blow the roof off the arena!

 

Comet: This place is electric, never in my years have I heard such a loud ovation!

 

Riley: I’m losing my hearing over here, these bastards better be ready to pay my doctor bills.

 

Williams begins to tremble, his once calm eyes now that of a blood thirsty beast. The wounded Champion knows that the challenger is coming for his title and there’s nothing he can do about it. It won’t be easy, but Kibagami has never backed down from a fight in his life and he’s not going to now. Firmly standing upright, the Champion digs in deeper than Alabama tick.

 

Comet: Kibagami has drawn the figurative line in the sand, he’s making his last stand.

 

Riley: In contrast, this is looks to be Williams’ last charge as well and you better believe he’s gonna throw everything he has at the Champion.

 

Not getting any younger, the River Dragon motions for Williams to bring it on if he’s coming. Not keeping the Champion waiting any longer, Williams lets out a primal scream and charges! Kibagami defensively thrusts up his leg, catching Williams with a high kick as he comes in! The big boot ceases Danny’s stampede, but it’s only a temporarily barrier. Shrugging off the kick, Williams lunges in again! Once more, the challenger has a face to face encounter with the Champion’s boot, knocking him off his feet! Snarling like a dying animal, Williams gets up through sheer force of will power.

 

Comet: The Champion is holding his ground but Williams just keeps coming and coming!

 

Trying to keep the challenger down, Kibagami blasts him with another high kick, sending Williams to the canvas in a huge cloud of sweat! Refusing to stay down, Williams ignores what his body wants and jumps to his feet with a growl, rushing Kibagami with a barrage of cringe inducing elbows!

 

Riley: He’s broke through his defenses!

 

Each shot rocks the Champion and in a last ditch effort to fend the challenger off, Kibagami grabs him by his long sweaty hair and throws him to the mat. Williams hits the canvas with a sickening thud but to the Champion’s disappointment he rolls through to his feet, and once again comes plowing forward like a maniac! Jumping straight up into the air, Kibagami twists his body side ways, firing a roundhouse kick at Danny’s face as he blindly rushes in!

 

Comet: GAMENGIRI!

 

Williams brings up his hands, swiping the Champion away like a fly. For the second time tonight, the River Dragon’s fragile body unceremoniously splatters on the mat.

 

Riley: It worked earlier but he telegraphed it this time around!

 

Knowing that all will be lost if he stays down a second longer than he has too, Kibagami hustles to his feet in time to see Williams spinning him at like a ballerina of impending doom!

 

Comet: ROLLING ELBOW!

 

Having already lost to Williams in similar fashion, the Slaughter is hardly surprised. With damn near perfect timing, Kibagami bravely reaches out, snagging Danny by his fearful elbow arm! Dropping to his knees, Kibagami flips Williams to the mat with his patent judo throw and in fluid motion, scissors his legs around the challenger’s imprisoned arm for the always threatening Cross Armbreaker!

 

Comet: If Kibagami can lock this on, he can take out the biggest threat to his title!

 

Riley: Tom Flesher?

 

Comet: No, Danny’s elbows you poor misguided citizen.

 

Calling on all his power, the Slaughter straightens the captured limb across his body, sending the fans into hysterics! Channeling the spirit of the great Houdini, Williams suavely slips his arm out of Kibagami’s claws before any real damage can be done, leaving the Champion vulnerable on his back! Knowing that he’s “damned if he do, damned if he don’t” the Champion springs to his feet in hopes that he’s not too late.

 

CRAAAAACK!

 

As soon as Kibagami is up, Williams knocks the Champion out of his boots with the inevitable Rolling Elbow he had been trying to land all night! Finally feeling the toll of the match, Williams drops to his hands and in knees in melodramatic fashion. The big pay off brings the crowd to their feet for a never ending pop!

 

Comet: It was just last year that Danny Williams defeated Kibagami with the Rolling Elbow, will history repeat itself!?

 

Fending off the numbing effects of Kibagami’s lethal kicks, Williams crawls to the Champion’s carcass, blanketing it for the pin.

 

Comet: Is this is the end of Kibagami’s dream, will a new Champion be crowned!?

 

 

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THRE-aaaaaaaaaah!” exclaims the fans as Kibagami courageously wiggles his shoulder off the canvas! Moved by the Champion’s iron will, the crowd begins to religiously chant, “Siiilent!” over and over again.

 

Comet: We’ve talked a lot about Williams’ raw determination, but what about Kibagami’s? His drive to keep the title is just as strong as Danny’s desire to win it.

 

Riley: You know what we haven’t talked about enough? Tom Flesher and how superior he is to these cave men and their primitive fighting spirit superstitions.

 

Keeping the heat on the Champion, Williams wastes little in time in helping him to his feet. Not weak enough to cooperate, Kibagami throws Danny’s hands off and buries his hand in his neck with a desperation Rolling Chop! Sucking up the paralyzing pain, Williams spins in place...

 

CRAAACK!

 

obliterating the Champion with a second Rolling Elbow!

 

Comet: The Rolling Chop turned the tide for Kibagami two weeks ago, but it’s not enough to stop Danny’s run tonight!

 

With Kibagami down and out, Williams collapses like he’s just ran a marathon. Huffing and puffing, Danny pulls himself back up with the ropes, while about a thousand words of encouragement are shouted in his direction by the nuclear hot crowd. Knowing that the Champion is far from finished, Danny opts to pull him back up for some more punishment. Spinning the punch drunk Champion around, Williams grabs a rear waistock and without a delay launches Kibagami into the stratosphere!

 

CRUNCH!

 

Kibagami lands right on the back of his dome, folding his limp body up like a sheet. The first head drop of the night earns Williams a ear shattering pop from the unbelievably loud crowd!

 

Comet: DANGEROUS GERMAAAAAAN!!

 

Riley: That can’t be good for Kib’s surgically repaired neck.

 

Being close to realizing his goal, Danny kept help but get a mad adrenaline rush. With a triumphant scream, Williams jumps to his feet with new found energy. Purposefully jogging over to the fallen Champion, Danny snatches him by his hair and pulls his limb body up into a standing head scissors. Pumped up like a crack head, Williams grabs Kibagami around the waist and flips him up into the air. Deeply doubling over, Williams brings the Champion down with ring shattering force!

 

KA-BOOM!

 

Running in place like a health nut, Williams leans forward, holding Kibagami down for the pin.

 

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO, KIBAGAMI KICKS OUT! Kicking like a horse, the powerful legs of the Champion blasts Williams across the ring! Caught off guard by the strong kick out, the fans leap out of their chairs in jubilation, stomping their feet like lunatics!

 

Comet: Not even Williams most reliable finisher can put away the River Dragon on this night!

 

Riley: That may have been Danny’s last hope, I don’t think he has another lift in him.

 

Lying on his back with his stomach pumping up and down, Williams struggles to regain his adrenaline rush like a heroin addict in need of a fix. Unable to withstand the suspense any longer, the fans stay standing, many of which are literally dancing in the aisles.

 

Comet: The fans have come to their feet, not even words from a super hero can do this crowd justice.

 

Wearing a look of sheer determination, Danny stomps his way back over to the Champion, snatching him right back up. Once again, Williams sets the River Dragon up for the Powerbomb. Really putting his back into it, the challenger tugs on Kibagami’s abdomen, but the Champion won’t budge so easily this time. There’s not a person in the arena who’s not rooting for Danny, the crowd is literally giving a constant pop.

 

Comet: If Williams can score with one more Powerbomb than maybe, just maybe he can walk away with the gold!

 

Williams’ arms burn and tremble with strain while the bulging veins that cover his body swell to the size of jungle pythons. Though the task seems impossible, Williams refuses to give up, especially when the sweet taste of victory is teasing his lips. Getting serious, Danny dips his ass so low to the canvas that he’s practically sitting down. Bobbing up and down, Williams laboriously gains enough momentum for one final lift. Letting out a strenuous scream, Danny heaves the long bulky Champion high over his shoulders!

 

KA-BOOM!

 

A second even harder Powerbomb connects, nearly driving Kibagami through the ring! Lifting his legs off the canvas, Williams slides down his victim’s folded remains for the pin.

 

Comet: HE HIT IT! HE HIT IT!

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

........................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kibagami rolls out from underneath Williams, but it’s too late! Caught in the moment, Soapdish jumps up and down as he calls for the bell.

 

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

 

As the final bell rings, total pandemonium breaks out in Vancouver! Drenched in sweat and totally drained, Williams collapses back to the canvas in disbelief.

 

Comet: IT’S OVER! NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION!

 

Riley: Calm down, Comet. Your acting like this doesn’t happen every week.

 

Soapdish drapes the precious title across Williams’ chest, who is still unable to rise. The heroic power chords of the Jester’s Dance boom over the loud speakers, creating an almost mythical atmosphere in the arena.

 

Comet: What a match! Neither man held back, throwing everything they have at each other in their mission to be the number one wrestler in the promotion. In the end, it was the challenger who overwhelmed Kibagami, continuously taking the fight to him until he finally broke through his defenses.

 

Coming to, the River Dragon doesn’t need to be told that he lost the title. He gave it his all, but despite his most valiant efforts he couldn’t stop the aggressive challenger. Nothing lasts forever, high time is over. For Williams this was the hardest victory of his career, and despite his best efforts he cannot hold back tears of joy. Knowing first hand that moments like these don’t last forever, Williams savors the moment, stretching it out for all it’s worth.

 

Comet: Will the third time be the charm for Danny Williams, can he be “the Man” the promotion needs? Tune in next week to find out.

 

Oh and out of nowhere Toxxic propels into the ring from a bungee cord. He hits Kibagami with a pipe, and ascends back into the heavens.

 

Comet: Uh......

 

Riley: Well that just made my night.

[the.weej 0]

We watch on a monitor another SWF show comes to a close. The main event is over, the fans cheer riotously for Danny Williams. The man formerly known as Deathwish reclaiming the World Title from the Slaughterer, to stand once more on the highest tier of the mountain. And yet... something doesn't seem right with this image. We pull back from the monitor.

 

"Nathaaaaniiiieeeel...."

 

The seven foot Hell Machine stands looking at the monitor, a grim expression on his face as he croons out Nathaniel Kibagami's name. His newly won Intercontinental Television title is over his shoulder, and his white trenchcoat flutters a little as he shifts his body. But his eyes are on the monitor - the victorious Danny Williams stands supreme - and the body of Nathaniel Kibagami lays on the mat. Battered and defeated.

 

The Hell Machine continues to stare at the monitor, his red eyes seeming to glow in the screen's light.

 

"You failed... where I will succeed. I will rise and claim the greatest prize this federation has to offer..."

 

His grim expression splits into a smile.

 

"Danny Williams will fall, and I will crush his 'valiant' heart when he tries to reclaim his prize. And after that, I'm sure you'll want it too, won't you...

 

...

 

Silent One..."

 

Fade to black.

[the.weej 0]

A pretty solid show on the surface, with some good ups and downs.

 

However, behind the scenes, the bottom absolutely falls out. No-shows all through the card, and I've been left with a chaotic main event scene to sort out with yet another title change. Congratulations to Danny on becoming the third three-time SWF champion in history, but really. What a way to run a railroad.

 

I'll have a card up sometime eventually. Read and comment til' then.

 

-Z