Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted May 31, 2004 LAST TIME ON WORLD'S WORST WRESTLING: A new champion was crowned! [We see Kevin Nash partying in a strip club as girls give him lapdances] And some other champions were crowned! [The Illegal Immigrants are shown with the belts] And stars were born! [We see the Zombies in action] And we have Triple H! [stillshot of Triple H] Tonight, expect more of the same! We fade to Vince Russo's office, where we see his ominous outline "You no.. last show.. some of this stuff ain't flying.." "Derefor.. I gotta award some and puniss odas" "Tonight, Algernon and David Flair Classic, you will be punished for your sins!" "You will face the Zombies, in a Dungeon of Doom match!" "Which Zombies will it be? I don't know, they're fricking Zombies. But, Zombie Shawn Stasiak, your gimmick is different now, you will be Meat 2000, the sex slave of the Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young" "Tonight, Kevin Nash will team with Scott Hall to face Triple H and a partner of his choice in a 'tap the keg or lose a leg' strap match, where the winners will get to drink all night, and the losers will have their legs broken" "And tonight, I am inviting WWW superstars to recite an essay of 100 words or less, live tonight, telling me why they should get a shot at WWW Champion Kevin Nash. Enjoy the Sports Entertainment" -- Jerry Flynn recieves confirmation that he was hired due to a typo. Essay #1 - from Jerry Flynn "I should receive a title shot due to my awesome mullet and my karate skills. I'm due to freak out and kill somebody at any time. Therefore, I might freak out and kill Kevin Nash. Oh, crap. That's not good, is it? Um, please?" Essay #2 - from Meat 2000 "I have tape recordings of Kevin Nash in comprimising positions, give me the title shot and I will destroy the recordings. That is all." Meat 2000 pinned Jerry Flynn after a powerslam in 0:04:44. Rating: 3/4* Essay #3 - from Jerry Lynn - Sex Addict "I want a title shot because I am the best wrestler" *BZZZZTTT* "Because of my victories" *BZZZT* "Because I have a libido the size of Texas. I just want to hump on somebody's bones. G's up. Hoes Down" Essay #4 - from Animal "I want a title shot because I would pound the crap out of Kevin Nash, and then I would finally become relevant. Tell em Hawk. Oh.. yeah..." Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict pinned Animal with the Piledriver in 0:03:08. Rating: ** Essay #5 - from Johnny Grunge "La dee la dee la dee who likes to party? La dee la dee la dee who likes to party? La dee la dee la dee who likes to party? You gotta get up to get down! Everybody! Everybody! Give me a title shot!" Essay #6 - from JBL "I SHOULD GET A TITLE SHOT BECAUSE OF ALL THESE FUCKING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS! THEY'RE COMING TO THIS COUNTRY AND THEY THINK THEY CAN TAKE OUR JOBS! LET ME TELL YOU THIS! KEVIN NASH AIDED IN THE TRANSIT OF AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT AND I AM PISSED OFF OVER IT! LET ME TELL YOU THIS! KEVIN NASH, I WILL PUT MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS! I WILL SODOMIZE YOU! I WILL MAKE YOU MY BITCH! KEVIN NASH! LET ME DEMONSTRATE MY WORTHINESS!" [We cut to a video of Bradshaw at the Canadian border confronting some Canadians] "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY COUNTRY YOU HOSERS!" [Cut back to Bradshaw] "Therefore, that is why I should face Kevin Nash" Meanwhile, Kane has an offer for Lita, Lita will give him oral sex, Kane will give her 100 dollars, but before Lita can accept the offer, Chyna comes out to bash Kane for his actions. Vince Russo shows up and begins offering Lita and Chyna money if they would french kiss. John Bradshaw Layfield pinned Johnny Grunge with the Clothesline From New York in 0:06:32. Rating: -3/4* We find that the new fourth zombie is Bob Backlund Essay #7 - from Zombie Maven "BRAAAAAAAIIIIINSSSSSS! BBBBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAIIIIIINSSSSSSS" Essay #8 - from Zombie Bob Backlund "There.. is.. no.. way out of the Crossface Chickenwing! I will procure it.. on Kevin Nash.. and establish my revenge on him!" Essay #9 - from Algernon "It is my estimate that as the World's Smartest Man, I will defeate Kevin Nash using my brains to----" Then we cut away to see that Triple H has arrived. WHO WILL HIS PARTNER BE? Essay #10 - from David Flair Classic "Let me tell you this, WHOOOOOOOOO!!! Kevin Nash, you ain't got nothing chump! Space Mountain still has the longest line!" The Four Horsemen (Algernon and David Flair Classic) defeated Zombie Bob Backlund and Zombie Maven when Algernon made Backlund submit to the Texas Cloverleaf in 0:03:41. Rating: * 1/4 We see Raven in the front row. We don't know if he has a ticket, or if he works for the company. Essay #11 - from Shaggy 2 Dope "YO MOTHERFUCKER! YOU GOTTA GIVE ME THE TITLE SHOT! I'M A FUCKING INSANE CLOWN YO! THE JUGGALO ARMY WILL PROPELL ME OVER KEVIN NASH!" Essay #12 - from David Flair "Um, I would really like to face Kevin Nash because I think I cou-- AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'M BEING PUMMELLED!" At this moment, Doink is attacking David Flair with a steel chair Essay #13 - from Doink "I will come to kill you all in your sleep because of what you did to me. Kevin Nash, all these people laughed at me. BUT WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?" "Um, I am" "AAAAHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA" Doink The Clown pinned Shaggy 2 Dope with the Whoopie Cushion in 0:04:23. Rating: DUD (David Flair no-showed.) After the match, Doink beats Shaggy 2 Dope senseless. Essay #14 - from Bodydonna Skip "Seriously, give me the title shot, I don't care that more people like Tammy. Give me a title shot and she will get naked. What, you've seen those pictures? Damnit, well, get your asses in shape, because I'm going to kick them!" Essay #15 - from Mo, on behalf of Viscera "Kevin Nash, King Mabel will kick your ass because he's done it before. Right? Well, anyways, Kevin Nash, trust me, this isn't 1995. Viscera's going to sit on your face" Viscera pinned Bodydonna Skip with the Big Splash in 0:05:24. Rating: -* 1/4 Essay #16 - from Kane "Kevin Nash, I know you like a book, and I have the ability to shoot lightning. Therefore, I want a title shot and I'm willing to get it in a battle royal" Essay #17 - from Chyna "Kevin Nash, trust me, I am able to take on m--" Triple H walks past the scene and stares at Chyna "Take me back Hunter! Take me back!" Kane pinned Chyna after a low blow in 0:01:09. Rating: -1/2* What does this mean for Chyna's gender? stay tuned! Sexual Harris-ment defeated La French Guys when D. Harris pinned S. Grenier with the Big Boot in 0:02:18. Rating: -1/2* Essay #18 - from La French Poodle "Well.." "Poodles don't talk.. not in noo yawk" Essay #19 - from Cochese "Kevin Nash, I will avenge my loss to you! I deserve another shot at the WWW title for that reason!" La French Poodle pinned Cochese with the Cruel Intentions in 0:04:25. Rating: * 1/4 Meanwhile in the back, Vince Russo finds out that the Midnight Express is not a tag team that is recently out of a Turkish prison. Russo grumbles. The Illegal Immigrants and The Midnight Express battled to a double countout in 0:02:35. Rating: 1/4* (The Illegal Immigrants retained the WWW Tag Team titles.) After the match, JBL and Sexual Harrisment attack the Illegal Immigrants. They declare themselves to be "The INS" Essay #20 - from the Rookie "Let me tell you this Kevin Nash, I might sorta be Buff Bagwell, but I know that I will be buff enough to kick your face in. Trust me. I'm Buff and I'm the St--" *BZZZZT* "I got a short fuse man!" Essay #21 - from Todd "Dude, if you don't give me a title shot, I will be totally forced to whoop your ass, okay? Kevin Nash, you know that it's time for me to the be the champion" Essay #22 - from Rudy "Mr. Russo, I know that I might be too small to be the WWW champion, but I make up for it with my hard work and my determination to never give up. So, just give me a chance. I won't let you down." Todd pinned The Rookie after a fallaway slam in 0:07:00. Rating: 1/4* Vince Russo comes out to announce the winner of the contest.. and the winner is.. JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD Meanwhile, Rob Van Dam volunteers to be Triple H's partner. Triple H doesn't notice him. [Tap the Keg or Lose a Leg]: Strap Match: The Outsiders defeated Triple H and Rob Van Dam when Hall pinned RVD with the Outsider Edge in 0:04:40. Rating: * Kevin Nash and Triple H brawled into the crowd during the match, leaving Hall and RVD to finish it. But, before the stipulation could be acted out on Rob Van Dam. Jake Roberts hobbles out and breaks a liquor bottle over Scott Hall's head, distracting people from the stipulation. We fade to black as we see Triple H and Kevin Nash fighting in the back. NEXT SHOW: Kevin Nash defends the WWW title against John Bradshaw Layfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steviekick 0 Report post Posted May 31, 2004 I'm rally liking the Algernon/David Flair Classic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Mandarin 0 Report post Posted June 1, 2004 JBL was going to get my vote, but then he didn't tell Kevin Nash that he'd "TURN (HIS) DAMN COUNTRY INTO A PARKING LOT" like on the 9/11 SmackDown. -1 Meat 2000 all the way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted June 1, 2004 JBL was going to get my vote, but then he didn't tell Kevin Nash that he'd "TURN (HIS) DAMN COUNTRY INTO A PARKING LOT" like on the 9/11 SmackDown. Patience.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted June 1, 2004 Here's the card for show #3 MAIN EVENT- WWW TITLE: Kevin Nash © v. John Bradshaw Layfield Triple H and Rob Van Dam will be in singles action to make up for the lack of having their legs broken last show Punishment matches: Animal v. Jake "The Snake" Roberts Diaper Match: Jerry Lynn - Sex Addict v. X-Pac Doink v. David Flair Classic Kane and a female partner v. Chyna and a male partner Bunny v. Brian Christopher The New Insane Clown Posse (Violent J and a partner) face Cochese and the Rookie Meat 2000 v. Algernon The Zombies (Backlund, Iaukea, Iron Sheik and Maven) v. The Illegal Immigrants, Johnny Grunge and Rey Misterio Jr Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery Eskimo 0 Report post Posted June 1, 2004 Jerry Lynn- sex addict is my new favourite wrestler. Who will he seduce first?!?!?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
