caboose 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Its 2am here in England and I've got to break into a house that ten minutes ago I was taking a shit in. The house is across the road from mine and the keys were left in my family's charge after the house in question's family moved out. While my house is having its Kitchen and Bathrom redone, we've been left with no shower or toilet. So with the permission of the house's owner, my family and I have been using the bathroom facilites of the house I've got to break into. Everything was fine until twenty minutes ago, I popped across the road for a late-night shit and left the keys inside the house while closing the doors behind me. I can't pick locks and all the windows are locked shut except one first floor window round the back which my fatass can't fit through even if I could climb upto it. I don't want to smash any windows either cos I'm flat broke and don't want to dish out for a new window. Any ideas? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 nevermind Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Bitch 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Using a credit card or plastic card of some sort is good for getting locked doors open if you're good enough to wedge it in. Other than that, I say break the window and hope no one sees you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Sleep outside and let this be a lesson to you... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Does that credit card thing actually work? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 So are you posting these messages on your cell phone or what? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 No i'm back in my house across the road from the house I've got to break into. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest FrigidSoul Report post Posted June 9, 2004 This thread is going to get interesting when caboose has to take a poo again. Call the owner of the home and ask for the duplicate key, there's always more than one key to a house. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Its 2:30am and come 7am my family are all going to want to use the bathroom to get ready for school/work. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest FrigidSoul Report post Posted June 9, 2004 So if I stay up until 2am here I can hear about how caboose's family all soiled themselves because he shit and forgot the keys? That is so awesome Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Choken One Report post Posted June 9, 2004 why couldn't you just used the tree in the backyard and blame it on the dog like the rest of us? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Bitch 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Does that credit card thing actually work? Well, it worked for me a couple of times. It was pretty much luck most of those times though. Its certainly worth the effort. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes Report post Posted June 9, 2004 This can always be a good practical joke. I guess you're family needs to learn how to squat in a bush. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 So if I stay up until 2am here I can hear about how caboose's family all soiled themselves because he shit and forgot the keys? That is so awesome I'm hoping it doesn't come to that... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Right, I've got a torch and a ladder, I'm going to get in and out while the street is quiet and no ones watching. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest FrigidSoul Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Right, I've got a torch and a ladder Am I the only one thinking that caboose is Two Stooges short? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Do you plan on breaking into someones house and lighting their ass up? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 So if I stay up until 2am here I can hear about how caboose's family all soiled themselves because he shit and forgot the keys? That is so awesome It's like the Sims come to life Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spaceman Spiff 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Do you plan on breaking into someones house and lighting their ass up? "Torch" = flashlight. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Damn it, thanks for spoiling it for me. Caboose has been watching 1 Hour Photo too much. In it, sy breaks into the familes house...and takes the time to shit in their toilet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MikeSC Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Does that credit card thing actually work? Well, it worked for me a couple of times. It was pretty much luck most of those times though. Its certainly worth the effort. Metal spatulas actually work better. They don't bend as easily. And let's not get into why I had a metal spatula handy while trying to break into a house. -=Mike Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest FrigidSoul Report post Posted June 9, 2004 So if I stay up until 2am here I can hear about how caboose's family all soiled themselves because he shit and forgot the keys? That is so awesome It's like the Sims come to life De shnoodly doodly flogger fuckyoucaboose Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes Report post Posted June 9, 2004 If the house has a chimney, dress up as Santa Claus, and shimmy on down. It's safe... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Right, I've got a torch and a ladder Am I the only one thinking that caboose is Two Stooges short? Plex and I can be there in a matter of hours~ Caboose you douche... get a kid to go through the small first floor window you can't fit in and unlock the door. christ.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest FrigidSoul Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Ok. caboose's family should be awake by now. So...did they poop their pants? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angle-plex 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 I fear that when Caboose's family woke up, the shit situation got out of control, and he wasn't able to come back and post here in time. He will be missed... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted June 9, 2004 If you can get your head and shoulders through the window, you can get your whole body through it. Might take some trying. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Well I did it, I didn't break a window, but I broke the lock on one. First I had to use the ladder to get over the garage roof, then set it up against the back wall to reach the open window. Failing to fit through the window, I saw that there was in fact a handle to open a larger window beneath the one that was open. The handle was locked however, so after about ten minutes of pulling the handle as much as possible to break it, and almost falling off the ladder three times when I lost grip, the lock finally broke. I opened the larger window, climbed in and retrieved the keys. Now I've just got to disavow any knowledge of the broken window lock when the estate agent checks the house in a couple of days. All in all a successful break in with the exception of the broken lock. I think I woke up half the street though when the ladder fell over and clattered the back fence after I'd climbed in. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted June 9, 2004 Once again...you should have had a kid or someone small go through the small first floor window. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2004 I imagine a conversation where I try to get a kid to climb through th window might of went like this.... Me: Hello little kid, would you like to climb through a window at 2:30am to help me break into a house. Only kid ever to be walking around the streets at 2:30am and is small enough to fit through window: Paedophile! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
