TSM Sportsdesk: Leaders Info

[Guest cosbywasmurdered]

The Smart Marks Sports Update

 

 

 

TMO: Welcome To TSM: SportsDesk

 

TMO: Today was a busy day for all four teams, there was alot of action in the folder and many posters felt the sting of their peers rejection.

 

Tonight we're going to take a look at the Four Team Leaders.

 

Zack Malibu

 

TMO: Zack Malibu is a Super Mod here at TSM and has a long history here. Zack's a well known efeder and is the current "leader" of the OAOAST. And we all know how cool efeds are...n't. Zack's one of the few people who are actually nice to board losers like Stephan Popick.

 

Some say Zack has a heart of gold but not according to Kotzenjunge, "One Time Zack and I actually met up in "real life", we went to this club and I hooked up with a banging chick, she was all over me. Anyway Zack was getting mad because he couldn't find anyone that wanted him around. So we all went back to this girl's house when Zack lays eyes on her 15 year old friend. Anyway long story short is that Zack's been ducking child support for several months now and neither of us are welcome in that state until the statute of limitations run out."

 

After this shocking story we at TSM Sportsdesk went looking for this girl. Kotzenjunge is obviously a very busy man but he managed to recall that her name was KoKo. We tracked her down:

 

 

TMO: Hello, KoKo. We appreciate you being willing to meet us after the horrors you've been through at the hands of Mr. Malibu.

 

KoKo: ...ARF?

 

TMO: It's okay, KoKo. You can talk to me. Just Look Into the camera and tell us what happened.

 

 

KoKo: *Claps* ARF!

 

TMO: Well there you have it...Zack Malibu is a pervert. We leave you with the image of his unrecognized daughter...

 

Zack's Baby

 

TMO: Moving on...

 

Frigid Soul

 

Frigid is a relativly new poster at TSM but he's made a huge impact. Most notably feuding with CWM and pretty much the entire board. Frigid's known for his oddball antics and for openly admitting that he's nuts.

 

Most people think his crazyness is just an act but we talked to Kotzenjunge, "I don't think that boy is all there. Frigid likes to PM people and invite them to his web space...and well it's not really suitable for normal people."

 

TMO: We tried getting the site from Kotzenjunge, but he refused because he didn't want to embaress Frigid. Kotzenjunge is a class act.

 

However, I'm not. I went through my PM box and amid the fan mail and disgusting naked pictures Canadian Chick sent me, I found the link.

 

Frigid's Site (Be Careful when Clicking)

 

TMO: We at TSM Sportsdesk do not sanction or condone that sort of behavior at all. Frankly we are shocked that Frigid would be a part of this. We were going to phone the Police and PETA before Kotzenjunge convinced us not too. That Kotz....such a caring man. Kotzenjunge has offered to put Frigid through counciling.

 

Next up is:

 

Choken One

Choken...what a joker

 

Choken One is perhaps the most famous "Post Whore" TSM has ever had. He was hand picked by the benevolent Kotzenjunge to lead a faction of "Special" posters. We commend Choken for giving his time to those less gifted then himself. After all he is a Deaf man, with a beautiful wife, fast car, and a high paying job.

 

We decided to interview his wife to get to know the "real" Choken.

 

 

TMO: Well I can see why Choken is always singing your praises!

 

Wife: Choken? You mean Clarence?

 

TMO: Yes. So why did you marry him.

 

Wife: Two words... green card.

 

TMO: Ho Ho Ho! Honestly now.

 

Wife: Well anyone who spends tht much time at the keyboard must have very nimble fingers.

 

TMO: ...I think I better leave.

 

Now It's time for the GRAND FINALE! The Man, The Myth, The Legend:

 

Kotzenjunge:

 

TMO: We all know Kotz. He's perhaps the single greatest man left alive in the world. He's the man who brought you the famous catch phrases, "Fo Shezz" and "No POBO". Mr. Kotz agreed to take time out from his incredibly busy schedule for an interview.

 

TMO: It's an honor to meet you.

 

Kotz: No problem, my friend. I'm all about making dreams come true. Ask any woman.

 

TMO: Ha. You sir are a card.

 

Kotz: Guilty!

 

TMO: Oh Sir...you crack me up. Anyway as much as I love talking with you, we have to get down to businees.

 

Kotz: I understand TMO. Perhaps later we can hang out.

 

TMO: Sir, what do you have to so to your critics.

 

Kotz: What critics?

 

TMO: Touche. But if you HAD critics what would you say?

 

Kotz: I wouldn't say anything. I'd just smile and they'd realize the error of their ways.

 

TMO: You're very nice even to people who don't like you.

 

Kotz: Well Social betters like you and I have to be nice to the "Little People" or else they get depressed.

 

TMO: Yes I've noticed that. Do you have any advice to the other team leaders.

 

Kotz: They should give up now because Team Kotz has been carefully chosen. I spent $5.5 Million on finding out who the best draft picks are and it's paid off so far.

 

TMO: Well they never should have tried to beat you.

 

Kotz: Fo Shezz.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

If you're wondering why some pics are linked to it's because TSM is being all buggy and not allowing some images.

 

for the third night in a row.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Team Kotzenjunge heartily endorses this fair and balanced report and wish The Mysterious One all the best.

[Guest cosbywasmurdered]

Where's my money?

[Art Sandusky 0]

What money?

 

You should receive a package in the next 12 hours.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

feedback and ideas for tomorrow's "update" are welcome.

[1234-5678 0]

I should be spotlighted. I bring in the 16-22 female demographic. You'll be swamped with Tampax and organic shampoo ads. We'll make millions!

[DerangedHermit 0]

I should be spotlighted. I bring in the 16-22 female demographic. You'll be swamped with Tampax and organic shampoo ads. We'll make millions!

Nobody wants CC around. Sorry.

[Nighthawk 0]

Spend tomorrow's update talking about me. Everyone, such as FrigidSoul, has admitted to ripping me off and riding my coattails, who better?

[Art Sandusky 0]

The best pieces of reporting fly over the heads of most. This is an example of that.

[Guest DustyFinish]

If I were a gang, I'd be clubberin all your asses. Bionic elbow's all around.

[Guest BDC]

If I were a gang, I'd be clubberin all your asses. Bionic elbow's all around.

Hmmm...

 

No sells.