AnonymousBroccoli 0 Report post Posted June 15, 2004 http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
starvenger 0 Report post Posted June 15, 2004 That's pretty funny... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewTS 0 Report post Posted June 15, 2004 My faves: 16. The Asbestos Wizard. We all saw Gandalf fall into the molten core of Middle Earth after his battle with the firebeast thing in part 1. Well, I guess the Gandalf action figure must have sold well, because in the slap-together sequel Two Towers, Gandalf is back. Perhaps it was voodoo, a la the corpse in Weekend at Bernie's II (look closely and you'll notice LOTR steals several elements from the WAB films). 38. Realism, schmealism. Liv Tyler's immortal elf volunteers to give up her eternal life for a single romance with a human man. Could any man really be that well endowed? I find it unlikely. 44. The Shoeless Land. The Hobbits both 1) refuse to wear shoes and 2) run a livestock-based farming economy. Wouldn't they constantly be stepping in crap? Why doesn't the movie address this issue? 46. Casting, II. Why couldn't Gandalf have been played by Bruce Campbell? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarvinisaLunatic 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 this is just like the 50 reasons why the Matrix sucked. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest I Got Banned for Sucking Report post Posted June 17, 2004 It took a few years, but someone finally has the guts to pay out the Lord of the Rings films. Kudos. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaosrage 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 Gold: The Stretchy Element. The ring, which is seen to be at least two inches in diameter at the beginning to fit the polish sausage-sized finger of Sauron, suddenly fits Frodo's child-sized finger later. I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own. That's a good one. Casting. Why couldn't Frodo have been played by Christopher Walken? Another good one. Speaking of Elves... Elves are beautiful and wise and tall? Great warriors? Makers of fine lightweight weapons? Our modern knowledge of elves has observed only an ability to make cookies and toys. All the elves in the film are portrayed as living in a warm paradise (Rivendell) but our own information tells us the aforementioned group of toymaking elves work and thrive in the arctic. Hey, Mr. Jackson: Research is half of writing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Zoidberg 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 I'm sure he just made this as a joke, but how could a movie based on a book written in early part of the 20th century have ripped off Willow? and the Orcs being rip-offs of the characters in Warcraft? While it was funny, it was also pretty fuckin stupid. Although The character of Elrond was based on Agent Smith of The Matrix That had me laughing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 I'm sure he just made this as a joke, but how could a movie based on a book written in early part of the 20th century have ripped off Willow? and the Orcs being rip-offs of the characters in Warcraft? Well, that was kind of the entire point. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Zoidberg 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 I'm sorry, I thought he was being serious about it up until the "Elrond is a ripoff of Agent Smith" thing. Just had that kind of vibe. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dubq 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 This is funny. I have to wonder if it's sarcasm, though, because a lot of it is so lame and paper-thin, there's no way anyone would press the arguement. But, for the hell of it... Quality Control at New Line. Millions of copies of the LOTR DVDs have thick black bars at the bottom and top of the screen throughout the film. Didn't anyone catch this? You know what happens at the end, in the extreme foreground and extreme upper sky? Neither do I. Bush league, guys. It's called Letterboxing, idiot. AKA - WIDESCREEN... Gold: The Stretchy Element. The ring, which is seen to be at least two inches in diameter at the beginning to fit the polish sausage-sized finger of Sauron, suddenly fits Frodo's child-sized finger later. I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own. Oh no. Stop the press. A fantasy movie actually has elements of... fantasy in it!! Return of the Living Dead. In FOTR, if you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public. The pillows are getting stabbed. The hobbits are in another inn. Did this guy even watch the movie? It goes on and on. I hope I'm reading too much into this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 You idiot. That's the most obviously sarcastic, unserious piece that anyone could conceivably imagine. Someone taking it seriously is just... staggering. I didn't really mean the idiot part. I use strong words to make strong points. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 Gold: The Stretchy Element. The ring, which is seen to be at least two inches in diameter at the beginning to fit the polish sausage-sized finger of Sauron, suddenly fits Frodo's child-sized finger later. I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own. That's a good one. The ring is meant to fit the finger of whoever wears it. It changes size, I thought everyone knew this. Or is the author of this '50 Reasons' yet another sad person who thinks he or she is cool by sarcastically disecting a film. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 How many assholes we got on this ship anyhow? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dubq 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 You idiot. That's the most obviously sarcastic, unserious piece that anyone could conceivably imagine. Someone taking it seriously is just... staggering. I didn't really mean the idiot part. I use strong words to make strong points. Hey, I said I hoped it was sarcasm. Leave me alone. It's too early for me to even be awake. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 ....how are people taking this seriously? I'm sure the author of this piece loved the movie. He wouldn't have wasted his time writing such a clearly sarcastic and funny piece if he wasn't actually a fan of it. He just wanted to write a humorous article about it so other fans of the "Lord of the Rings" series could get a few laughs as well. How could people get angry over this article and start calling him an "idiot"?! Christ..... Buy some common sense, people. The concept of sarcasm really isn't all that difficult to grasp. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 I'm sure he loved the film, but why bother wasting his time coming up with 50 unfunny reasons to bash the film? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 To be creative. To entertain other people. Why bother wasting time coming up with wrestling matches and backstage promos for an online wrestling federation? Sometimes people just do it to be creative and entertain..... I'm still in awe that people were taking this article seriously and were actually starting to get angry. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 'Creative' and 'Entertain' are not two words I'd associate with that article. 'Originality' doesn't come to mind either. Luckily I didn't get angry, more just shook my head in disappointment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 Maybe he got paid for it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caboose 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 Then whoever paid him is a retard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 I don't know. Something tells me that a web address of "pointlesswasteoftime.com" might mean that he possibly didn't get paid for writing this piece..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 Pepsi Free wasn't really free... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
starvenger 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2004 Pepsi Free wasn't really free... Well, it was definitely free of any taste resembling Pepsi... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest croweater Report post Posted June 17, 2004 That was funny as hell. However, I laughed much harder when I saw that people taking it seriously. The fact that there wasn't 1 single legitimate reason may have given away it's sarcasm Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
